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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:04,744
NARRATOR:
Kids, Einstein was right.
2
00:00:04,848 --> 00:00:06,848
Time moves at different speeds.
3
00:00:06,850 --> 00:00:09,634
To Barney, the previous nightraced by in a blur.
4
00:00:11,737 --> 00:00:13,171
But then, all of a sudden,
5
00:00:13,173 --> 00:00:15,790
time stopped.
6
00:00:15,792 --> 00:00:17,992
This might be the worst
thing I've ever done.
7
00:00:17,994 --> 00:00:19,610
Hey, now,
8
00:00:19,612 --> 00:00:22,346
you weren't at the top of your
game, but it was still pretty...
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00:00:22,348 --> 00:00:23,681
Oh, my God!
10
00:00:23,683 --> 00:00:25,066
I just cheated
on Kevin.
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00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,985
He is the nicest guy ever.
12
00:00:26,987 --> 00:00:28,987
I'm a terrible person.
13
00:00:28,989 --> 00:00:30,154
It's okay.
14
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,456
We both cheated.
15
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:34,459
What's that saying about
two wrongs making a right?
16
00:00:34,461 --> 00:00:36,127
"Two wrongs don't make a right"?
17
00:00:36,129 --> 00:00:38,830
No, that's not it.
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00:00:38,832 --> 00:00:40,465
Oh, my God.
19
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:41,916
I just cheated on Nora.
20
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:43,701
How could I do this to her?
What are we gonna do?
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00:00:43,703 --> 00:00:44,585
I don't know.
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00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:46,087
Well...
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00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:49,090
Can I ask you, did
this mean anything?
24
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,558
Of course it did.
25
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:52,760
Of course it didn't.
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00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:55,379
Which one are you looking for?
I could see it going either way.
27
00:00:55,381 --> 00:00:57,398
It meant nothing.
It meant nothing!
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00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,766
How could you say
it meant nothing?!
29
00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:00,101
Of course it meant something!
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00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,020
- No, it didn't! It can't.
- (groans)
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00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:06,824
Okay? You're with Nora,
and I'm with Kevin and...
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00:01:06,826 --> 00:01:08,109
I have to go.
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00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,410
Wait, what are
we gonna tell them?
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00:01:09,412 --> 00:01:10,411
Nothing.
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00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:12,613
God! We made a
horrible mistake.
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00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,065
But it-it is over now.
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00:01:14,067 --> 00:01:16,701
There's no reason to hurt more
people by talking about it.
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00:01:16,703 --> 00:01:20,038
You're asking me to lie?
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00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,373
That's... fine.
40
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:23,458
Damn it.
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00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:25,209
Nora and I have that work cruise
tomorrow night.
44
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:33,134
but what if-- and hear me out--
45
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,635
we don't go?
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00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,220
No.
47
00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:39,090
I just want this whole night
to fade into history,
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00:01:39,092 --> 00:01:41,559
so we have to act like
it never happened.
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00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:42,760
We should go.
50
00:01:42,762 --> 00:01:44,762
I mean, it's a three-hour
boat ride--
51
00:01:44,764 --> 00:01:45,863
what could happen?
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00:01:45,865 --> 00:01:49,404
I'm sure that's what Gilligan say.
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00:01:49,405 --> 00:01:53,405
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x10 ♪
Tick Tick Tick
Original Air Date on November 14, 2011
54
00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:57,406
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,221
Groovapalooza!
56
00:02:07,339 --> 00:02:10,023
All the smug hippie bands from
the '90s in one big concert
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00:02:10,783 --> 00:02:11,681
(sniffs)
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00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:13,117
Ah, even the tickets
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00:02:13,119 --> 00:02:14,735
smell like cloves
and mediocrity.
60
00:02:14,737 --> 00:02:16,553
Ah, to really
take us back,
61
00:02:16,555 --> 00:02:20,357
I scored us bag
of, yes, mari...
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00:02:20,359 --> 00:02:22,626
Kids, we used to do somethingbefore concerts
63
00:02:22,628 --> 00:02:23,961
to enjoy them more.
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00:02:23,963 --> 00:02:26,697
And that thing was to...eat a sandwich.
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00:02:26,699 --> 00:02:28,382
...nated steak subs.
66
00:02:28,384 --> 00:02:29,800
Oh, yeah!
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00:02:29,802 --> 00:02:34,138
Well, as future parents,
we'll pass on the sandwiches.
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00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:36,223
How could you even suggest
such a thing, Ted?!
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00:02:36,225 --> 00:02:38,308
(whispers): I better
get my 60 bucks back.
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00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:39,727
No sandwich?
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00:02:39,729 --> 00:02:41,762
Marshall, it's a palooza.
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00:02:41,764 --> 00:02:43,814
We've eaten sandwiches
at every palooza.
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00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:45,766
Lollapalooza, Funkapalooza...
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00:02:45,768 --> 00:02:48,435
Gender-diversity-awareness-
palooza, junior year.
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00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:50,738
Yeah, there were
some real bitches there.
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00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:53,073
TED:
Okay, quick,
77
00:02:53,075 --> 00:02:55,492
before Lily gets here,
let's fire this up.
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00:02:55,494 --> 00:02:58,228
No way. I promised Lily
that I would be responsible.
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00:02:58,230 --> 00:02:59,663
You're not getting
your 60 bucks back.
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00:02:59,665 --> 00:03:01,448
Give me that.
81
00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:06,736
(coughing)
82
00:03:08,373 --> 00:03:09,957
(piano playing soft music)
83
00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:11,425
Hey, how you
holding up?
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00:03:11,427 --> 00:03:14,044
Well, I'm about to be
trapped on boat all night
85
00:03:14,046 --> 00:03:16,630
with the guy I cheated on,
the guy I cheated with
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00:03:16,632 --> 00:03:19,082
and the girl that the guy
I cheated with cheated on.
87
00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:20,384
So, not super.
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00:03:20,386 --> 00:03:21,585
Hi, Sandy.
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00:03:21,587 --> 00:03:22,803
You're welcome.
90
00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:24,855
I did not say "Thank you."
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00:03:24,857 --> 00:03:26,756
Oh, you're too kind.
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00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:28,525
Too kind.
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00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:30,310
Excuse me, I
should really try
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00:03:30,312 --> 00:03:32,062
to have sex with
that new intern.
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00:03:32,064 --> 00:03:35,199
NARRATOR: Robin's boss, Sandy Rivershosted this cruise every year,
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00:03:35,201 --> 00:03:37,568
mostly to hit onthe new employees.
97
00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:40,988
And he'd found a clever wayto never spend a cent.
98
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:42,439
Up next, another four deaths
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00:03:42,441 --> 00:03:45,442
in Arizona's record-breaking
heat wave.
100
00:03:45,444 --> 00:03:47,878
You want real
record-breaking heat?
101
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:52,716
Try Kristoff's Jalapeño
Coconut Vodka martini.
102
00:03:52,718 --> 00:03:56,420
Muy caliente!
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00:03:56,422 --> 00:03:57,754
Okay, Nora and Kevin
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00:03:57,756 --> 00:03:59,506
are gonna be here any minute.
105
00:03:59,508 --> 00:04:01,592
I thought I could handle this,
but I can't.
106
00:04:01,594 --> 00:04:03,010
Okay, um, here's the plan.
107
00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:05,312
We'll grab one of the
lifeboats, get back to shore,
108
00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:06,897
destroy the tape
of us doing it...
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00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:08,065
There's a tape of us doing it?
110
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:09,600
...and we'll start
a new life together.
111
00:04:09,602 --> 00:04:12,903
Somewhere simple and homey,
like Vermont or Dubai.
112
00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:14,938
Wait, is that what you want?
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00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,074
For us to be together?
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00:04:17,076 --> 00:04:18,141
KEVIN:
Hey, Robin.
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00:04:18,143 --> 00:04:20,194
Oh, God, I really
can't do this.
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00:04:20,196 --> 00:04:22,529
Don't worry. Just follow my lead
and keep cool.
117
00:04:22,531 --> 00:04:23,780
Hey, guys!
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00:04:23,782 --> 00:04:25,699
(whispers):
They know!
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00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:28,985
Oh, no.
120
00:04:28,987 --> 00:04:33,590
I think that sandwich was
laced with other stuff.
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00:04:33,592 --> 00:04:35,092
Like, hard meats.
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00:04:35,094 --> 00:04:36,052
What do you mean?
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00:04:36,394 --> 00:04:40,114
Well, usually after a sandwich,
I feel paranoid. But I'm not.
124
00:04:41,433 --> 00:04:42,933
Why am I not
feeling paranoid?!
125
00:04:42,935 --> 00:04:44,935
What do you mean?
Calm down, dude!
126
00:04:44,937 --> 00:04:46,770
We'll be fine.
127
00:04:46,772 --> 00:04:48,972
Lily's gonna know.
128
00:04:48,974 --> 00:04:51,341
Listen to me.
129
00:04:51,343 --> 00:04:55,028
Whatever we were just
talking about...
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00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:56,980
we'll be fine.
131
00:04:56,982 --> 00:04:58,982
You're right, she
won't find out.
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00:04:58,984 --> 00:04:59,950
Hey, guy
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00:04:59,952 --> 00:05:02,286
(whispers):
She knows!
134
00:05:02,288 --> 00:05:03,453
Good evening.
135
00:05:03,455 --> 00:05:06,290
A special welcome
our four new interns:
136
00:05:06,292 --> 00:05:08,709
Erika... and so on.
137
00:05:08,711 --> 00:05:10,911
One safety matter:
life preservers are
138
00:05:10,913 --> 00:05:13,163
on the side rails,
in case anyone falls overboard.
139
00:05:13,165 --> 00:05:16,199
That's it.
Have a good night.
140
00:05:16,201 --> 00:05:17,584
Don't drink too much.
141
00:05:17,586 --> 00:05:18,886
Or do.
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00:05:21,139 --> 00:05:23,206
Beautiful night,
huh, gang?
143
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,559
Yeah, Robin and I
were just cheating--
144
00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:27,978
chatting about
how warm it is.
145
00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:30,547
I'm breaking a
trust-- sweat
146
00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:31,565
in here.
147
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,183
(chucks)
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00:05:33,185 --> 00:05:35,986
And I thought
we'd be cuckold.
149
00:05:35,988 --> 00:05:38,071
I know why you're
so nervous, Barney.
150
00:05:38,073 --> 00:05:39,556
You do?
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00:05:39,558 --> 00:05:41,942
You're meeting Nora's parents
tomorrow night, right?
152
00:05:41,944 --> 00:05:42,993
(laughs)
153
00:05:42,995 --> 00:05:44,828
That's it!
That's it!
154
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:45,662
Let's dance!
155
00:05:45,664 --> 00:05:47,414
Bah!
Whoo!
156
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:53,453
(whispers):
Lily has no idea I'm high.
157
00:05:53,455 --> 00:05:54,871
You're high?
158
00:05:54,873 --> 00:05:57,574
I'm sorry.
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00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:03,046
(whispers):
Lily has no idea I'm high.
160
00:06:03,048 --> 00:06:04,798
Okay, well, if
your pregnant wife
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00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,134
has to sit here
sober all night,
162
00:06:07,136 --> 00:06:10,020
she's gonna need
some of them nachos.
163
00:06:10,022 --> 00:06:11,722
You got it.
164
00:06:11,724 --> 00:06:13,223
Hey, dude, fork over
some of them nach...
165
00:06:13,225 --> 00:06:14,391
No, not his.
166
00:06:14,393 --> 00:06:15,925
My own.
167
00:06:15,927 --> 00:06:17,694
Ah. Smart.
168
00:06:17,696 --> 00:06:19,313
Come on, Ted.
169
00:06:19,315 --> 00:06:20,647
What?
170
00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:29,740
And thus began the mostharrowing journey of our lives.
171
00:06:29,742 --> 00:06:32,793
To this day,Robin and Barney swear
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00:06:32,795 --> 00:06:34,578
this is the only dance to that night.
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00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:39,132
♪ You fooled around
on your baby ♪
174
00:06:39,134 --> 00:06:42,619
♪ Now the least you could do
is to tell her the truth ♪
175
00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:44,254
♪ Yes, you in the suit ♪
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00:06:44,256 --> 00:06:47,174
♪ Or that secret
will eat up your soul ♪
177
00:06:47,176 --> 00:06:50,727
♪ Girl, the guilt's
gonna drive you crazy ♪
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00:06:50,729 --> 00:06:52,512
♪ Crazy ♪
179
00:06:52,514 --> 00:06:54,815
♪ You can't live with this lie,
Kevin's such a nice guy ♪
180
00:06:54,817 --> 00:06:56,683
♪ Gotta tell him tonight ♪
181
00:06:56,685 --> 00:06:58,802
♪ Tell them right here
on this boat ♪
182
00:06:58,804 --> 00:07:03,106
♪ You're like scum round
the edge of a toilet bowl ♪
183
00:07:03,108 --> 00:07:05,325
♪ Flush ♪
184
00:07:05,327 --> 00:07:09,145
♪ What the hell is in the place
where you should have a soul? ♪
185
00:07:09,147 --> 00:07:10,080
♪ Slut ♪
186
00:07:10,082 --> 00:07:11,531
♪ You did these two wrong ♪
187
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:13,033
♪ Don't wait too long ♪
188
00:07:13,035 --> 00:07:14,618
♪ In fact, you know what? ♪
189
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:18,672
♪ Tell them
right during this song ♪
190
00:07:18,674 --> 00:07:20,957
♪ Tell ', tell 'em,tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em ♪
191
00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:22,759
I'll wait.
192
00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:25,045
♪ Tell 'em, tell 'em,tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em ♪
193
00:07:25,047 --> 00:07:28,265
Oh, come on, seriously,
you're not gonna tell them?
194
00:07:28,267 --> 00:07:30,600
We have to tell them.
Right now.
195
00:07:30,602 --> 00:07:33,270
♪ Sure, act like
it was your idea. ♪
196
00:07:33,272 --> 00:07:34,504
Seriously, you guys suck.
197
00:07:39,307 --> 00:07:42,092
NARRATOR: Marshall and I were stillin line to get Lily's nachos.
198
00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:44,883
Dude, we've been
waiting forever.
199
00:07:46,395 --> 00:07:49,207
Even worse, this is the
line for the ladies room.
200
00:07:51,531 --> 00:07:54,817
I can't believe that our
last Groovapalooza was,
201
00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:56,535
what, 12 years ago?
202
00:07:56,537 --> 00:07:58,487
I mean, time is
going by so fast.
203
00:07:58,489 --> 00:08:00,689
I know, it's crazy.
204
00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:03,158
In, like, an eye blink,
205
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,546
this hand will be, like,
an old man's hand.
206
00:08:07,548 --> 00:08:11,500
I recognize the clichéd nature
of what I'm about to say,
207
00:08:11,502 --> 00:08:13,585
but... whoa!
208
00:08:13,587 --> 00:08:14,753
Yeah.
209
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:17,423
312?
210
00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:19,007
That's our gate.
211
00:08:19,009 --> 00:08:22,177
Dude, we just walked around
the entire arena.
212
00:08:22,179 --> 00:08:24,179
We've been walking
for, like, an hour
213
00:08:24,181 --> 00:08:25,848
and we still haven't
found the nachos.
214
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:28,267
I bet Lily
is so upset.
215
00:08:28,269 --> 00:08:31,904
Yo, you want
my nachos, bro?
216
00:08:31,906 --> 00:08:33,989
Thank you.
217
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:37,409
My husband's been gone an hour
looking for these.
218
00:08:37,411 --> 00:08:40,913
If he can't even do that,
how can I trust him as a father?
219
00:08:40,915 --> 00:08:43,782
You can't, bro.
You can't.
220
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:47,002
I like your long goatee.
221
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,837
Marshall can't even
grow a beard.
222
00:08:48,839 --> 00:08:50,456
Oh, that's sad.
223
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:53,759
'Cause one's ability to grow
facial hair directly correlates
224
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,495
with one's ability
to be a good father.
225
00:08:56,497 --> 00:09:00,632
I know it does.
I know it does.
226
00:09:03,553 --> 00:09:05,003
(groans)
227
00:09:05,005 --> 00:09:06,438
Oh.
228
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,890
Excuse me, sir.
229
00:09:07,892 --> 00:09:09,674
Do you know
where the nachos are?
230
00:09:09,676 --> 00:09:11,443
(ominous music plays)
231
00:09:11,445 --> 00:09:13,612
(screaming)
232
00:09:13,614 --> 00:09:15,280
TED:
Marshall!
233
00:09:15,282 --> 00:09:17,182
Over here.
I found the nacho line.
234
00:09:17,184 --> 00:09:19,318
Oh.
235
00:09:23,656 --> 00:09:24,990
So, how'd it go with Kevin?
236
00:09:24,992 --> 00:09:27,493
Well, I was just about
to tell him...
237
00:09:27,495 --> 00:09:28,961
ok, Kevin...
238
00:09:28,963 --> 00:09:31,463
Erika, I've been meaning
to speak with you all night.
239
00:09:31,465 --> 00:09:32,864
Really?
What about
240
00:09:32,866 --> 00:09:35,217
About me bending your hard
little body over the railing
241
00:09:35,219 --> 00:09:37,369
of this boat
and copulating furiously
242
00:09:37,371 --> 00:09:40,005
while I admire
the New York City skyline.
243
00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:43,175
Or, if you're feeling dirty,
we can always face Jersey.
244
00:09:43,177 --> 00:09:44,393
Thoughts?
245
00:09:46,012 --> 00:09:48,096
(screams)
Jalapeño!
246
00:09:48,098 --> 00:09:49,881
And just a hint of coconut.
247
00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:51,216
(screams)
248
00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,270
Kevin hit his head,
he might have a concussion.
249
00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:58,023
So obviously
I couldn't tell him.
250
00:09:58,025 --> 00:09:59,274
What about you?
251
00:09:59,276 --> 00:10:01,893
Something even worse
happened to her.
252
00:10:01,895 --> 00:10:04,947
I got a tiny spot of wine
on my sleeve.
253
00:10:07,367 --> 00:10:09,368
I couldn't pile on.
254
00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:11,169
I'm not a monster.
255
00:10:12,038 --> 00:10:13,338
Where are they?
256
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:15,591
Come on, forget
the nachos.
257
00:10:15,593 --> 00:10:17,909
Everyone here
is having fun.
258
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:19,845
Look, even these guys.
259
00:10:19,847 --> 00:10:21,513
Check it out.
260
00:10:21,515 --> 00:10:25,667
Wow, music really does
bring people together.
261
00:10:25,669 --> 00:10:27,853
Ted? Ted!
262
00:10:27,855 --> 00:10:30,022
Creepy guitar guy
is following us.
263
00:10:30,024 --> 00:10:32,257
(ominous music plays)
264
00:10:32,259 --> 00:10:35,894
(both screaming)
265
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,696
(panting)
266
00:10:37,698 --> 00:10:39,147
We did a whole nother lap.
267
00:10:39,149 --> 00:10:41,483
Oh, man, we missed like,
half the concert now.
268
00:10:41,485 --> 00:10:42,567
Come on, let's just go
back to our seats.
269
00:10:42,592 --> 00:10:43,792
Ted, Ted, Ted.
270
00:10:43,937 --> 00:10:45,737
The nacho line
was right here all along.
271
00:10:45,739 --> 00:10:47,422
(both laughing)
272
00:10:47,424 --> 00:10:50,542
So stupid.
273
00:10:50,544 --> 00:10:53,412
As soon as we dock,
I'm taking Kevin to the E.R.
274
00:10:53,414 --> 00:10:57,299
God, wish last night
never happened.
275
00:10:57,301 --> 00:10:59,668
(sighs)
276
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:01,587
I don't.
277
00:11:01,589 --> 00:11:04,006
What do you mean?
278
00:11:04,008 --> 00:11:05,641
What if this whole thing,
279
00:11:05,643 --> 00:11:09,177
it isn't the story of how we
both made a horrible mistake
280
00:11:09,179 --> 00:11:11,063
and ruined our relationships,
281
00:11:11,065 --> 00:11:16,301
what if it's actually the story
of how we got back together?
282
00:11:16,303 --> 00:11:19,271
Okay, I'm gonna ask you
one last time.
283
00:11:19,273 --> 00:11:21,573
Is this what you want?
284
00:11:21,575 --> 00:11:23,241
It's what we both want!
285
00:11:23,243 --> 00:11:26,161
Why else are we rushing
to tell them what we did?
286
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,747
On a boat!
That is a terrible idea!
287
00:11:28,749 --> 00:11:31,483
Barney, we tried this
and we failed.
288
00:11:31,485 --> 00:11:33,201
Why try again?
289
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:35,253
Because I haven't stopped
thinking about you
290
00:11:35,255 --> 00:11:37,322
and you haven't stopped
thinking about me.
291
00:11:39,792 --> 00:11:41,510
It's such a mess.
292
00:11:41,512 --> 00:11:43,161
Why...
293
00:11:43,163 --> 00:11:45,263
Why do you even like me?
294
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,935
I guess...
295
00:11:49,937 --> 00:11:53,855
'cause you're almost
as messed up as I.
296
00:11:57,677 --> 00:12:00,145
Well, there's the small issue
297
00:12:00,147 --> 00:12:02,114
that we're currently dating
other people.
298
00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:04,232
How about this?
299
00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:09,688
After we dock, let's each do
what we have to do,
300
00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:14,042
and then meet up at MacLaren's
at midnight and...
301
00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:16,294
talk about us.
302
00:12:18,915 --> 00:12:23,418
Don't forget
your mystery gift bags!
303
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:25,337
They're condoms.
304
00:12:27,306 --> 00:12:29,808
We just went all the way
around again!
305
00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:31,009
Where the hell
are these nachos?!
306
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,644
Who cares
about nachos?
307
00:12:32,646 --> 00:12:33,979
Oh, I love nachos, man!
308
00:12:33,981 --> 00:12:35,397
You gotta relax, man.
309
00:12:35,399 --> 00:12:38,433
You keep worrying about stuff
like nachos,
310
00:12:38,435 --> 00:12:40,235
you're gonna give yourself
a heart attack.
311
00:12:41,154 --> 00:12:43,105
- I'm going back in.
- Fine!
312
00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:46,191
Ha! Joke's on you!
313
00:12:46,193 --> 00:12:49,661
The nacho line was right here
all along!
314
00:12:55,168 --> 00:12:57,369
NARRATOR: Robin and Barneywere finally off the boat.
315
00:12:57,371 --> 00:12:59,121
so they both assumedit was going to be a lot easier
316
00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:01,423
to admitwhat they had done.
317
00:13:01,425 --> 00:13:03,175
Kevin...
Me first.
318
00:13:03,177 --> 00:13:05,260
Look, I don't want
to make too much out
319
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,412
of saying "I love you"
for the first time.
320
00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:09,080
Any way I can jump in
with my thing?
321
00:13:09,082 --> 00:13:12,384
Robin... I love you.
322
00:13:13,469 --> 00:13:15,253
Okay, Nora, lo...
(gasps)
323
00:13:15,255 --> 00:13:16,755
NORA:
Mom! Dad!
324
00:13:16,757 --> 00:13:19,691
Hi, Nora, we
got in early!
325
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,029
BOTH:
Should've done it on the boat.
326
00:13:30,963 --> 00:13:31,912
Ah!
327
00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:34,382
Hey, where's your friend?
328
00:13:34,384 --> 00:13:38,603
We missed almost the entire show
because he put his stupid quest
329
00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:41,222
for nachos ahead of our
friendship, so I bolted.
330
00:13:41,224 --> 00:13:44,192
Well, I'm just a creepy old
guitar player,
331
00:13:44,194 --> 00:13:47,195
but isn't any time spent
with a friend a blessing?
332
00:13:47,197 --> 00:13:49,897
And if nachos is all you seek...
333
00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:52,150
take mine, brother.
334
00:13:52,152 --> 00:13:54,402
Wow!
335
00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:55,820
Thank you.
336
00:13:55,822 --> 00:13:58,272
It's a sign, bro.
337
00:13:58,274 --> 00:13:59,574
It is.
338
00:13:59,576 --> 00:14:01,542
It's a sign
I should go find Marshall!
339
00:14:01,544 --> 00:14:03,211
(laughs)
340
00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:04,796
Marshall! Marshall!
341
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:11,719
So, Barney, Nora's told us
so much about you,
342
00:14:11,721 --> 00:14:14,204
but we want to know everything.
343
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,029
Uh, let's see. Suit, laser tag.
344
00:14:16,059 --> 00:14:17,809
I say "wait for it" a lot.
That's about it.
345
00:14:17,811 --> 00:14:18,976
You two must be exhausted.
346
00:14:18,978 --> 00:14:20,061
I'll make coffee.
347
00:14:21,597 --> 00:14:23,798
I'm so glad to see how happy
you both are.
348
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,967
When you meet
the right person,
349
00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,519
you know it.
350
00:14:28,521 --> 00:14:30,304
You can't stop
thinking about them.
351
00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:35,326
They're your best friend...
352
00:14:37,656 --> 00:14:38,936
and your soul mate.
353
00:14:40,115 --> 00:14:43,367
You can't wait to spend therest of your life with them.
354
00:14:43,369 --> 00:14:47,138
No one and nothing else
can compare.
355
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,541
Now, where the hell
is that coffee, eh?
356
00:14:50,543 --> 00:14:51,992
(chuckles)
357
00:14:54,463 --> 00:14:58,432
Look, Nora, there's something
I have to tell you.
358
00:15:00,719 --> 00:15:02,804
(ominous music plays)
359
00:15:02,806 --> 00:15:05,056
(groans)
360
00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:06,841
Heart attack.
361
00:15:06,843 --> 00:15:08,810
Oh, God, Ted was right.
I have to relax!
362
00:15:08,812 --> 00:15:09,894
Ted!
363
00:15:09,896 --> 00:15:11,479
- Marshall!
- Ted?
364
00:15:11,481 --> 00:15:13,147
Ted!
Marshall!
365
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:14,515
Oh, Ted! Oh, Ted!
366
00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:16,818
I'm so sorry! You were right.
367
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:19,237
No, Marshall, you...
Yeah, I was right.
368
00:15:19,239 --> 00:15:20,488
But look, nachos!
369
00:15:22,023 --> 00:15:24,108
Come on. Let's
go back inside.
370
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:25,743
(audience cheering)
371
00:15:25,745 --> 00:15:27,528
That's it.
372
00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:29,363
It's over.
373
00:15:29,365 --> 00:15:31,799
We missed the whole show.
374
00:15:33,535 --> 00:15:35,903
So...
375
00:15:35,905 --> 00:15:38,506
yup, I love you.
376
00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:41,142
Look, Kevin...
377
00:15:41,144 --> 00:15:44,512
there's something
I have to tell you.
378
00:15:44,514 --> 00:15:45,847
I cheated on you.
379
00:15:47,366 --> 00:15:51,152
I don't even know
how to react.
380
00:15:51,154 --> 00:15:53,220
I am so sorry.
381
00:15:54,389 --> 00:15:57,391
I know I don't get
any second chances,
382
00:15:57,393 --> 00:16:00,862
but you will always be...
383
00:16:00,864 --> 00:16:03,164
Was this a one-time thing?
384
00:16:05,284 --> 00:16:08,252
Can you tell me
it didn't mean anything?
385
00:16:10,255 --> 00:16:12,173
No.
386
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:24,585
I'm sorry, Ted.
387
00:16:24,587 --> 00:16:29,857
I still want to have fun, it's just i have
to be a good husband and father too.
388
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:31,592
There's just not
enough time, you know?
389
00:16:31,594 --> 00:16:32,593
I know.
390
00:16:32,595 --> 00:16:36,931
It's all going by
so damn fast.
391
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,283
Lily!
392
00:16:39,285 --> 00:16:42,236
Hey! Oh, Lily,
I'm so sorry
393
00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:44,739
that we ruined our night.
Yeah.
394
00:16:44,741 --> 00:16:46,123
What are you guys talking about?
395
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:48,159
You've been gone less
than two minutes.
396
00:16:48,161 --> 00:16:50,628
NARRATOR:
Kids, she was right.
397
00:16:54,299 --> 00:16:55,883
TED:
My hand.
398
00:16:55,885 --> 00:16:57,635
Whoa!
399
00:16:57,637 --> 00:16:59,119
Ah! concert!
400
00:16:59,121 --> 00:17:00,805
Nachos! Ah!
401
00:17:02,758 --> 00:17:04,809
(laughs)
Music!
402
00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:07,895
(both scream)
403
00:17:10,632 --> 00:17:12,132
- Time!
- Nachos!
404
00:17:15,136 --> 00:17:16,136
Thank you!
405
00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:18,856
It's a sign, bro.
406
00:17:18,858 --> 00:17:20,441
Oh, oh...
407
00:17:20,443 --> 00:17:22,304
Heart attack!
Marshall!
408
00:17:22,329 --> 00:17:23,529
Marshall!
409
00:17:27,316 --> 00:17:29,166
BOTH:
Time...
410
00:17:33,121 --> 00:17:36,374
BOTH:
Lily!
411
00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:38,709
Marshall, do you get
what this means?
412
00:17:38,711 --> 00:17:40,294
Life isn't moving
too fast.
413
00:17:40,296 --> 00:17:42,213
We-we still have time
for everything
414
00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:43,931
And we're not gonna miss
the concert!
415
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:46,834
I'm freaking out right now.
416
00:17:46,836 --> 00:17:49,520
- We gotta get out of here.
- Yeah.
417
00:17:49,522 --> 00:17:51,973
Do you guys know where
the ladies' room is?
418
00:17:51,975 --> 00:17:54,308
- No idea.
- Haven't seen it.
419
00:17:57,012 --> 00:17:59,480
Hey! How's it going?
420
00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:02,233
Oh, not great.
Nora and I broke up.
421
00:18:02,235 --> 00:18:04,318
Oh, my God, what happened?
422
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,321
I don't really feel like getting
into it, but...
423
00:18:07,323 --> 00:18:09,189
I think the worst part is over.
424
00:18:12,577 --> 00:18:14,695
- Hey.
- Hey.
425
00:18:14,697 --> 00:18:16,080
- Hey, Kev.
- What's up, Kev?
426
00:18:16,082 --> 00:18:17,381
KEVIN:
How's it going, buddy?
427
00:18:17,383 --> 00:18:18,632
ROBIN:
Hey, guys.
428
00:18:18,634 --> 00:18:20,835
There's something
I have to tell you.
429
00:18:20,837 --> 00:18:22,036
Then don't.
430
00:18:22,038 --> 00:18:23,587
What?
431
00:18:23,589 --> 00:18:25,923
If there's one thing I've
learned as a therapist,
432
00:18:25,925 --> 00:18:29,760
it's that just because something
needs to be told
433
00:18:29,762 --> 00:18:32,179
doesn't always mean
it needs to be heard.
434
00:18:32,181 --> 00:18:36,183
Kevin, I did something bad.
435
00:18:36,185 --> 00:18:38,352
We've all done bad things.
436
00:18:38,354 --> 00:18:40,321
Doesn't mean we're bad people.
437
00:18:41,423 --> 00:18:42,656
Look, I don't care
438
00:18:42,658 --> 00:18:44,442
about every detail
from your past,
439
00:18:44,444 --> 00:18:46,610
and I hope you don't care
about mine either.
440
00:18:46,612 --> 00:18:49,330
What I do care about is you,
441
00:18:49,332 --> 00:18:54,234
and that from tonight forward,
you're in this as much as I am.
442
00:18:55,787 --> 00:18:57,455
What do you think?
443
00:18:57,457 --> 00:19:01,258
I'm such a mess.
444
00:19:03,078 --> 00:19:05,763
Why do you even like me?
445
00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:06,914
Come her
446
00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:12,353
I am constantly amazed
by the things you say,
447
00:19:12,355 --> 00:19:15,389
entranced by the things you do,
448
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:19,977
and unlike a certain Jalapeño
Coconut Vodka martini,
449
00:19:19,979 --> 00:19:22,262
you're easy on the eye
450
00:19:23,899 --> 00:19:25,866
And if we're together
long enough,
451
00:19:25,868 --> 00:19:30,121
I hope that one day you see
yourself the way I see you.
452
00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:36,494
That's a pretty good answer.
453
00:19:36,496 --> 00:19:39,080
NARRATOR: Sometimes hourscan feel like minutes
454
00:19:39,082 --> 00:19:42,917
and sometimes a single secondcan last a lifetime.
455
00:19:42,919 --> 00:19:47,671
For Barney, the second thatwould never end was this one.
456
00:19:47,673 --> 00:19:49,757
(ticking)
457
00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:54,845
(ticking stops)
458
00:20:05,473 --> 00:20:08,142
Well, um, I should go.
459
00:20:08,144 --> 00:20:10,194
Tough night.
460
00:20:10,196 --> 00:20:11,245
I'm so sorry.
461
00:20:11,247 --> 00:20:13,280
Don't be. It's nothing.
462
00:20:16,484 --> 00:20:17,952
It feels good to be sober again.
463
00:20:17,954 --> 00:20:21,755
Man, how long have we been
sitting here, right?
464
00:20:21,757 --> 00:20:23,841
12 seconds and you're
in the wrong booth.
465
00:20:30,665 --> 00:20:32,466
I should go to bed.
466
00:20:55,624 --> 00:20:59,624
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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