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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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NARRATOR: Kids, in October 2011,your Aunt Robin was in therapy.
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00:00:04,259 --> 00:00:06,792
And against all logic,it was actually going well.
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00:00:07,149 --> 00:00:08,515
But why?
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00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:11,318
Why-why am I constantly looking
for reasons not to be happy?
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00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,405
Maybe because the idea of
finally being happy...
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00:00:14,407 --> 00:00:16,106
terrifies you.
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Bro, you are killing it today.
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Pshh!
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We got something good here.
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00:00:23,499 --> 00:00:25,949
We are totes gonna conquer
my fear of abandonment!
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00:00:25,951 --> 00:00:27,384
I can't see you anymore.
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00:00:27,386 --> 00:00:29,553
(laughs) Nice.
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"Oh, no! You're
abandoning me!"
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00:00:32,424 --> 00:00:34,624
Oh, no. You're abandoning me?
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I'm sorry.
I'm moving to Alaska.
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NARRATOR: And that might havebeen the end of it.
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00:00:41,017 --> 00:00:42,266
But a week later...
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Kevin?!
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00:00:45,303 --> 00:00:46,487
What are you doing here?
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00:00:46,489 --> 00:00:50,774
Okay, look, I lied to you
about moving to Alaska.
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I-I had to stop seeing you.
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00:00:52,945 --> 00:00:54,228
Why?
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'Cause I think you're cute.
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And ethically,
I can't be your therapist
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00:00:58,384 --> 00:01:00,217
if I'm attracted to you.
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00:01:00,219 --> 00:01:02,819
Oh, I get it. You dump me
as a patient
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00:01:02,821 --> 00:01:04,505
just so you can ask me out?
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00:01:04,507 --> 00:01:05,639
I'm not gonna ask you out.
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You're not?
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No. We met in therapy.
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It's inappropriate for me
to date a patient.
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Anyway, it was nice seeing you.
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Hey, wait.
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How do you define "date"?
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Two people having a meal
together,
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00:01:24,143 --> 00:01:25,192
sitting across the table
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00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:26,643
making googly eyes
at each other...
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What about two people eating
alone, sitting side by side,
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00:01:30,983 --> 00:01:34,184
making googly eyes
at the coffee maker?
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Okay, it's not a date.
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Exactly. Not a date.
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NARRATOR: And so Robin and Kevin hadbreakfast alone,
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side by sideevery day that week.
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Until finally...
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Oh, hey!
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Sorry. No cabs.
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Ran 40 blocks
all the way here.
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May have knocked an old lady
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00:01:59,562 --> 00:02:01,211
into the street,
don't know, I didn't look back.
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00:02:01,213 --> 00:02:02,262
Let's just go on a real date.
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00:02:02,264 --> 00:02:03,931
Yeah, that might be a good idea.
52
00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:05,399
Finally!
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00:02:07,591 --> 00:02:11,591
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x05 ♪
Field Trip
Original Air Date on October 10, 2011
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00:02:11,592 --> 00:02:15,092
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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♪
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Oh, I can't wait
to see that movie.
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00:02:22,588 --> 00:02:23,554
Is it good?
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00:02:23,556 --> 00:02:24,772
Awesome. Wait, totally
hypothetically,
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00:02:24,774 --> 00:02:27,224
do you like movies with a
shocking twist where all
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00:02:27,226 --> 00:02:28,943
the main characters die
at the end?
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00:02:28,945 --> 00:02:30,061
Yes.
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00:02:30,063 --> 00:02:31,362
You will love this movie.
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00:02:31,364 --> 00:02:32,697
Hey, guys.
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00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:33,948
Hey, Marshall.
What's up?
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00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:35,616
Well, I'll tell you what's up.
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You know how my boss,
Garrison Cootes, is,
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00:02:37,804 --> 00:02:39,737
like, the most famous
environmental lawyer
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00:02:39,739 --> 00:02:40,554
in the world?
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00:02:40,556 --> 00:02:42,206
ALL:
Yeah...
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00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:45,576
I mean, it's him
or the other guy.
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00:02:45,578 --> 00:02:46,911
Sir Anthony Howel?
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00:02:46,913 --> 00:02:49,297
ALL:
Yeah...
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00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,415
Anyway, he's an important guy,
okay?
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00:02:51,417 --> 00:02:52,984
And so today at work,
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00:02:52,986 --> 00:02:55,136
I was trying to show him
that I'm tough.
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00:02:55,138 --> 00:02:56,971
I've been thinking
about this
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00:02:56,973 --> 00:02:58,222
settlement offer we're about
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00:02:58,224 --> 00:03:00,308
to get from Gruber
Pharmaceuticals.
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00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,226
If it's anything less
than $20 million,
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00:03:02,228 --> 00:03:03,293
then I'm gonna grab
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00:03:03,295 --> 00:03:06,063
those corporate Earth rapists
by their...
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00:03:06,065 --> 00:03:08,065
Okay, I'm just gonna
say something.
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00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:09,984
I'm growing a child
in my belly,
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00:03:09,986 --> 00:03:11,902
a child that just
developed ears.
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00:03:11,904 --> 00:03:14,572
This is a very
thin sweater.
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00:03:14,574 --> 00:03:16,324
So please, if you must
tell your story...
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00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,942
just make it
cheerful.
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00:03:17,944 --> 00:03:19,560
Cheerful.
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00:03:19,562 --> 00:03:21,696
Okay...
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00:03:21,698 --> 00:03:23,414
Then I'm gonna grab those
corporate...
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employees...
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by their sweaty, dangling...
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00:03:26,819 --> 00:03:27,835
hands...
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00:03:27,837 --> 00:03:30,487
and squeeze until those greedy
sons of...
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00:03:30,489 --> 00:03:32,790
parents... realize that
I'm the baddest mother...
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00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:35,676
nature lover around.
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00:03:35,678 --> 00:03:38,512
It's like watching
The Breakfast Club on TBS.
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So what did he say?
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00:03:40,433 --> 00:03:45,102
Marshall, bend down so I
can put my arm around you.
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That's all the way down.
That's good.
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00:03:47,223 --> 00:03:49,190
Gruber Pharmaceuticals
is a company full
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00:03:49,192 --> 00:03:51,142
of well-meaning people
doing their jobs,
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00:03:51,144 --> 00:03:53,227
just like you and me.
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00:03:53,229 --> 00:03:55,980
Guys, I'm afraid that Garrison
Cootes has gone soft!
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00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:57,982
He's like a teddy bear!
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00:03:57,984 --> 00:04:00,568
A teddy bear
or an Ewok?
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00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:02,737
You know, cute and cuddly
around the village,
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00:04:02,739 --> 00:04:04,655
but once the battle starts...
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00:04:04,657 --> 00:04:08,042
He'll smash in your metal skull
with giant swinging logs.
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00:04:08,044 --> 00:04:09,160
Marshall!
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00:04:09,162 --> 00:04:10,411
Okay, he'll hug you
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00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:12,830
until you agree to peaceably
shut down the Death Star.
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00:04:12,832 --> 00:04:14,031
NORA:
Hi, sweetie.
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00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,149
Hey.
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00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:16,867
What are we
all talking about?
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Ewoks.
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00:04:17,987 --> 00:04:19,253
Ugh, I hate the Ewoks.
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00:04:19,255 --> 00:04:21,472
The only good
thing about Ewoks in that movie?
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You got to see some of them die.
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00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,010
Well, I fancy a pint.
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00:04:27,378 --> 00:04:28,979
Nora hates Ewoks.
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00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:30,881
Well, I have
to break up with her.
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00:04:30,883 --> 00:04:32,917
Be gentle
when you tell her, guys.
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00:04:32,919 --> 00:04:35,519
I'll call you from Vegas.
Tell me how it went. Okay.
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00:04:35,521 --> 00:04:36,487
Okay, Barney!
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00:04:36,489 --> 00:04:37,554
Sit down!
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00:04:37,556 --> 00:04:38,889
Not liking Ewoks
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00:04:38,891 --> 00:04:41,409
is no reason not
to date somebody.
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00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,994
Yeah, I mean, who knows
what the rules are, ya know?
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00:04:43,996 --> 00:04:46,664
I mean, you're dating
a girl who doesn't like Ewoks,
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00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,565
I'm dating my former
therapist.
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00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:49,617
- Oh!
- Eww!
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00:04:49,619 --> 00:04:51,452
We are
gentlemen of Harvard!
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00:04:51,454 --> 00:04:52,886
It's not a big deal!
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00:04:52,911 --> 00:04:54,699
Robin, if you asked
a hundred people,
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00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,543
"Who's the worst person
you could possibly date?"
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00:04:56,575 --> 00:04:58,125
they'd all say,
"Your therapist."
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00:04:58,127 --> 00:04:59,877
Except the ones
saying "Barney."
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00:04:59,879 --> 00:05:02,263
Hey! Yeah, that tracks.
140
00:05:02,265 --> 00:05:04,081
Well, I should
get going.
141
00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:05,933
I got the big field
trip tomorrow.
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00:05:05,935 --> 00:05:06,801
Field trip?
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00:05:06,803 --> 00:05:07,635
Yeah. I'm taking
144
00:05:07,637 --> 00:05:08,803
my Intro to
Architecture class
145
00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:10,354
to the GNB Tower
construction site.
146
00:05:10,356 --> 00:05:11,772
I'm trying to get
them interested
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00:05:11,774 --> 00:05:13,357
in architecture
as a career.
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00:05:13,359 --> 00:05:15,425
Why? Are we running out
of buildings?
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00:05:15,427 --> 00:05:16,894
Are we running out
of boring people?
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00:05:16,896 --> 00:05:18,646
Guys, this is
a big deal, okay?
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00:05:18,648 --> 00:05:20,781
If I can get just
one kid interested in
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00:05:20,783 --> 00:05:21,932
becoming an architect...
153
00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,452
Okay, I'm just gonna stop
you right there.
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00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,487
Ted, it's an Intro class.
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00:05:26,489 --> 00:05:28,691
Yeah, don't try to
Stand and Deliver
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00:05:28,692 --> 00:05:29,440
an Intro class.
157
00:05:29,441 --> 00:05:32,493
Nobody takes an Intro class
to get on any other path
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00:05:32,495 --> 00:05:35,246
but the path to not
being hungover anymore.
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00:05:35,248 --> 00:05:39,333
I learned that in my Intro
to something-ology class.
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00:05:39,335 --> 00:05:41,752
Well that's fine for
something-ology,
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00:05:41,754 --> 00:05:44,054
but tomorrow
at 9:00 a.m. sharp
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00:05:44,056 --> 00:05:47,258
Intro to Architecture is
going on a field trip!
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00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,642
All 200 of 'em.
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00:05:48,644 --> 00:05:49,660
Well, it's 9:45.
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00:05:49,662 --> 00:05:52,229
I guess the other 170
of you got lost,
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00:05:52,231 --> 00:05:53,597
so we'll just start.
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00:05:53,599 --> 00:05:57,101
Now, some might say you guys are
just taking this class
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00:05:57,103 --> 00:06:00,571
because it's easy or because
you've confused architecture
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00:06:00,573 --> 00:06:02,356
with archaeology and think
we're gonna do
170
00:06:02,358 --> 00:06:04,141
some cool
Indiana Jones stuff today.
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00:06:04,143 --> 00:06:05,943
But I think that...
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00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:12,666
I think just maybe, we got some
future architects in the house.
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00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:17,288
Show of hands: who's thinking
about a career in architecture?
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00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:22,209
Well, today,
all that's gonna change.
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00:06:22,211 --> 00:06:24,161
Follow me.
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00:06:25,797 --> 00:06:27,548
Hey. Uh, sorry,
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00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:29,450
nobody gets in here
without a site pass.
178
00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:33,053
It's okay, I'm Ted Mosby, the
architect of this building.
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00:06:33,055 --> 00:06:35,472
I don't care if you're the
archaeologist of this building.
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00:06:35,474 --> 00:06:36,607
Site's closed.
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00:06:42,147 --> 00:06:43,831
Moving on!
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00:06:45,516 --> 00:06:46,800
NARRATOR:
That morning, Marshall's firm
183
00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:48,452
was gettingthe settlement offer
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00:06:48,454 --> 00:06:50,905
from Gruber Pharmaceuticals,and Marshall couldn't wait
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00:06:50,907 --> 00:06:53,958
to see the teddybearturn into an Ewok.
186
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,861
Gruber Pharmaceuticals dumped
toxic waste into Frog Creek,
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00:06:57,863 --> 00:07:00,548
a tributary of the Trout River
that feeds into Clearwater Lake.
188
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:03,717
All three of which
now need new names.
189
00:07:04,719 --> 00:07:09,539
So it's time to win one
for Mother Earth.
190
00:07:09,541 --> 00:07:11,759
Let's take out the trash,
shall we?!
191
00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:14,011
- Yes!
- All right, everyone grab a bag.
192
00:07:14,013 --> 00:07:15,813
Blue is recycling,
green, compost.
193
00:07:15,815 --> 00:07:17,815
There we go.
194
00:07:19,184 --> 00:07:20,884
Sheila...
195
00:07:20,886 --> 00:07:23,003
we're ready to hear your offer.
196
00:07:32,197 --> 00:07:36,667
$24,000?
197
00:07:40,538 --> 00:07:43,207
Yeah , that seems reasonable.
198
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,461
NARRATOR:
Kids, Iwas wandering the city
199
00:07:49,462 --> 00:07:51,443
with 25 Intro to Architecturestudents
200
00:07:51,444 --> 00:07:53,478
when your Uncle Barneycame to my rescue.
201
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,115
Okay, guys, seeing a building
get built, not that exciting.
202
00:07:57,117 --> 00:07:59,817
What's really exciting is the
financial side of...
203
00:07:59,819 --> 00:08:01,285
Sit down, Ted, I got this.
204
00:08:01,287 --> 00:08:04,539
Hey, Weird Beard, lights!
205
00:08:04,541 --> 00:08:06,824
College...
it's a confusing time.
206
00:08:06,826 --> 00:08:07,925
Oh, no.
207
00:08:07,927 --> 00:08:11,646
Studies show that 83% of all
college students
208
00:08:11,648 --> 00:08:13,681
desperately need...
209
00:08:13,683 --> 00:08:15,667
sex lessons!
210
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,552
Lights!
211
00:08:17,554 --> 00:08:19,704
Barney, these are
18-year-olds!
212
00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:23,040
Ted, these are 18-year-olds!
213
00:08:23,042 --> 00:08:25,376
You have a girlfriend.
214
00:08:25,378 --> 00:08:26,594
But she doesn't like Ewoks!
215
00:08:26,596 --> 00:08:27,478
So what?
216
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:31,566
So what?!
Bieber, lights!
217
00:08:31,568 --> 00:08:37,105
In 1983, George Lucas introduced
the world to the Ewoks,
218
00:08:37,107 --> 00:08:40,842
a race of creatures indigenous
to the second moon of Endor.
219
00:08:40,844 --> 00:08:42,844
Now, the Ewoks have
a rich back-story
220
00:08:42,846 --> 00:08:44,245
that the movie didn't
really go into.
221
00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:45,413
Barney, why don't
you just skip
222
00:08:45,415 --> 00:08:47,498
to the part
about you and Nora?
223
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,250
(sighs) Fine.
224
00:08:58,677 --> 00:09:00,077
Ah, yes.
225
00:09:00,079 --> 00:09:04,348
Ultimately, Ewoks split StarWars fandom into two camps:
226
00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:09,437
those born before, and those
born after May 25, 1973:
227
00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:12,640
the Ewok Line.
228
00:09:12,642 --> 00:09:15,727
Anyone born on this side
of the Ewok Line was
229
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:18,129
at least ten years
old when Jedi came out,
230
00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:22,433
and thus too old for something
so cloying and cute.
231
00:09:22,435 --> 00:09:29,373
Anyone born on this side
loved the Ewoks because, why?
232
00:09:30,492 --> 00:09:32,410
They reminded you of...
233
00:09:32,412 --> 00:09:33,494
Our teddies?
234
00:09:33,496 --> 00:09:35,963
They reminded you
of your teddies.
235
00:09:35,965 --> 00:09:37,799
Thank you, Gina.
236
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:39,584
How do you know her name?
237
00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:44,121
And so... by the immutable laws
of the Ewok Line,
238
00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:48,593
my 29-year-old girlfriend
who hates Ewoks
239
00:09:48,595 --> 00:09:54,315
must in fact be
no younger than... 37.
240
00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:56,601
That's only a year younger
than Will's mom.
241
00:09:56,603 --> 00:09:58,820
How do you know my mom?
Class dismissed!
242
00:09:58,822 --> 00:10:00,321
I need to be alone.
243
00:10:00,323 --> 00:10:01,806
All right, we're moving on.
244
00:10:01,808 --> 00:10:03,191
Ooh, can I come?
245
00:10:03,193 --> 00:10:05,276
(cell phone rings)
Hey, baby.
246
00:10:05,278 --> 00:10:08,780
Hey, I just want to remind you
we have Dr. Sonya at 4:00.
247
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,482
I'll be there. I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm bummed.
248
00:10:11,484 --> 00:10:14,035
We got
our settlement offer today:
249
00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:17,321
$24,000 from
a billion-dollar company.
250
00:10:17,323 --> 00:10:19,774
Wow. I take it people aren't
happy about that.
251
00:10:19,776 --> 00:10:22,827
We won! Champagne and cake
for everybody!
252
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:23,961
They're celebrating.
253
00:10:23,963 --> 00:10:24,962
I mean, it's crazy.
254
00:10:24,964 --> 00:10:27,431
We have no right
to be eating cake.
255
00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:29,851
There's cake?! I'm on my way!
256
00:10:29,853 --> 00:10:33,337
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, the worst field tripof all time was still trucking.
257
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:36,307
All right, this, this is
exciting, okay?
258
00:10:36,309 --> 00:10:37,692
This is the very room
259
00:10:37,694 --> 00:10:40,144
where I had the idea
for the GNB Tower.
260
00:10:40,146 --> 00:10:43,013
Now, Webster's defines
"inspiration" as...
261
00:10:43,015 --> 00:10:45,700
Hold on.
It's still loading.
262
00:10:45,702 --> 00:10:46,701
Uh, hey, roomie.
263
00:10:46,703 --> 00:10:49,403
Robin! Hey,
what are you doing here?
264
00:10:49,405 --> 00:10:52,156
Well, I was about
to get my swerve on.
265
00:10:52,158 --> 00:10:54,041
You were?
266
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:56,460
So you're the therapist.
267
00:10:56,462 --> 00:10:59,580
You know, it's one thing
to pretend to be a shrink
268
00:10:59,582 --> 00:11:01,632
and bang your patients.
That's normal.
269
00:11:01,634 --> 00:11:05,336
But to do it for real?
A little creepy, bro.
270
00:11:05,338 --> 00:11:06,921
Okay, it's not creepy.
271
00:11:06,923 --> 00:11:09,006
BOTH:
Ehhhh... it's creepy.
272
00:11:09,008 --> 00:11:10,842
Class, show of hands:
273
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,711
Who thinks it's creepy
to date your therapist?
274
00:11:13,713 --> 00:11:15,346
- Pollstered.
- Get out!
275
00:11:15,348 --> 00:11:17,381
All right.
We're moving on!
276
00:11:17,383 --> 00:11:18,716
So, class, to your left,
277
00:11:18,718 --> 00:11:21,402
you will see some
excellent examples of
278
00:11:21,404 --> 00:11:25,072
what we'd call windows.
279
00:11:25,074 --> 00:11:26,908
So where are we going now?
280
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:27,909
I have no idea.
281
00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,410
This is a disaster.
282
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:31,395
Some of them are already
starting to go home.
283
00:11:31,397 --> 00:11:34,081
Although we seem to have
picked up a German family.
284
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,000
BARNEY: Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
285
00:11:36,002 --> 00:11:38,736
That thing with Robin
and her creepy therapist
286
00:11:38,738 --> 00:11:39,737
gave me an idea.
287
00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:41,706
Ted, we have here a way
288
00:11:41,708 --> 00:11:44,575
to solve every single debate
we've ever had!
289
00:11:44,577 --> 00:11:46,410
I mean, just look at the sample:
290
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:49,463
guys, girls,
blacks, Asians, a German family.
291
00:11:49,465 --> 00:11:52,049
You can't pay for that kind of
focus group!
292
00:11:52,051 --> 00:11:54,752
Is macaroni salad
really a salad?
293
00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,253
Hands up if you say "no."
294
00:11:57,255 --> 00:11:58,272
Ha!
295
00:11:58,274 --> 00:11:59,273
Jacob or Edward?
296
00:11:59,275 --> 00:12:00,257
Who says Edward?
297
00:12:00,259 --> 00:12:02,226
Ha, ha. See?
I told you.
298
00:12:02,228 --> 00:12:04,612
It's Edward
James Olmos.
299
00:12:04,614 --> 00:12:08,282
Would you rather have sex
with a dead human being
300
00:12:08,284 --> 00:12:11,035
or a live an...?
Dude.
301
00:12:11,037 --> 00:12:12,603
What?
Find the line.
302
00:12:12,605 --> 00:12:15,072
Who thinks David
Hasselhoff is awesome?
303
00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:17,742
Hmm.
It's true.
304
00:12:17,744 --> 00:12:19,460
Okay. I've got one.
If you're dating a girl,
305
00:12:19,462 --> 00:12:20,962
and she lies
about her age,
306
00:12:20,964 --> 00:12:22,930
who says break up
with her?
307
00:12:22,932 --> 00:12:25,166
Yes, yes, but what if
the person she's lying to
308
00:12:25,168 --> 00:12:27,284
is notoriously
shallow about age?
309
00:12:27,286 --> 00:12:29,637
Okay, but what if early
in our relationship,
310
00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:30,972
she made a really big deal
311
00:12:30,974 --> 00:12:32,590
about wanting to not
lie to each other?
312
00:12:33,475 --> 00:12:34,642
What if she's hot?
313
00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:36,677
Who wants five bucks?
314
00:12:37,596 --> 00:12:39,263
Pollstered!
315
00:12:39,265 --> 00:12:40,765
Let's do this.
316
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,183
(giggling)
317
00:12:42,185 --> 00:12:44,235
(clears throat)
318
00:12:45,153 --> 00:12:46,971
(murmurs)
Hmm? Yeah.
319
00:12:46,973 --> 00:12:47,989
(giggling)
320
00:12:47,991 --> 00:12:48,990
Mm...
321
00:12:48,992 --> 00:12:50,491
Okay, this is creepy.
322
00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:51,993
It's Crispin
Glover creepy.
323
00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:53,411
You were my patient.
324
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:54,695
You shared intimate stuff.
325
00:12:54,697 --> 00:12:56,497
It would be like dating
your gynecologist.
326
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,616
You were vulnerable.
327
00:12:58,618 --> 00:13:01,118
That's not something
we can move past.
328
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,287
(sighs)
Guess not.
329
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:07,508
So, dating your gyno,
that's bad, too?
330
00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:08,676
Oh, Robin.
331
00:13:08,678 --> 00:13:10,378
Kidding!
332
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:12,079
Look, we've got another one!
333
00:13:12,081 --> 00:13:14,098
(laughing)
334
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,499
Come on,
have a bite.
335
00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:17,385
No, it's a matter
of principle.
336
00:13:17,387 --> 00:13:18,853
I don't care how good it is,
337
00:13:18,855 --> 00:13:20,471
I'm not gonna have
a third piece of cake!
338
00:13:20,473 --> 00:13:24,508
Okay, guys, you all had
a lot of fun today,
339
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:27,395
but now it's time...
to have even more fun!
340
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:29,597
Another cake!
341
00:13:29,599 --> 00:13:31,365
MARSHALL: Another cake?!
342
00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,317
What is the matter
with you people?!
343
00:13:33,319 --> 00:13:37,855
That settlement today was
a flaming pile of...
344
00:13:37,857 --> 00:13:39,757
puppies...
345
00:13:39,759 --> 00:13:41,542
that aren't on fire!
346
00:13:41,544 --> 00:13:43,711
Look at what's happening
to the environment,
347
00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,413
and we're here doing the limbo?
348
00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:48,499
I mean, we should be ashamed
of ourselves!
349
00:13:56,842 --> 00:13:59,510
Sir, all I meant was...
350
00:13:59,512 --> 00:14:01,896
Ten years from right now,
351
00:14:01,898 --> 00:14:05,049
everyone outside in that bullpen
will be dead.
352
00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:06,517
What?
353
00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,436
I've seen the
latest research, Marsh.
354
00:14:08,438 --> 00:14:10,004
You know how I'm always saying
355
00:14:10,006 --> 00:14:12,023
it's not too late
to save the planet?
356
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,058
It's too late
to save the planet.
357
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:17,244
There's nothing to do
but sit back
358
00:14:17,246 --> 00:14:20,931
and await our inevitable doom.
359
00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:22,333
(noisemaker tooting)
360
00:14:22,335 --> 00:14:23,901
Oh, my goodness, a piñata!
361
00:14:23,903 --> 00:14:25,336
Just give me one minute, Larry.
362
00:14:25,338 --> 00:14:26,904
Thank you.
363
00:14:26,906 --> 00:14:30,257
Our grotesque, inevitable doom!
364
00:14:31,209 --> 00:14:33,044
Now, of course,
you can't go around
365
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,095
telling all the people
366
00:14:34,097 --> 00:14:35,846
that the good ship
Environmentalism
367
00:14:35,848 --> 00:14:37,414
has sailed off into the sunset.
368
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,050
There would cause a panic.
369
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,901
So, instead,
what we do is,
370
00:14:40,903 --> 00:14:43,354
we come to work,
we put on a happy face,
371
00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:45,606
and we sue the big guys
372
00:14:45,608 --> 00:14:48,092
for just enough money
for some cake
373
00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:52,563
before the unfiltered rays
of the sun fry us like chalupas,
374
00:14:52,565 --> 00:14:55,533
and our lungs fill up
with salt water,
375
00:14:55,535 --> 00:14:57,952
and we all die!
376
00:14:57,954 --> 00:15:00,538
Mmm. This cake is delicious.
Everything's fine.
377
00:15:04,714 --> 00:15:05,764
Ugh, this day sucks.
378
00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:08,213
Kevin and I are kaputski.
379
00:15:08,215 --> 00:15:09,831
You think that's bad?
380
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:12,167
The world is
coming to an end.
381
00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:14,069
You think that's bad?
382
00:15:14,071 --> 00:15:18,206
My girlfriend is 37!
383
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:21,510
And my field trip is not going
as well as I'd hoped.
384
00:15:21,512 --> 00:15:23,662
Hmm.
385
00:15:23,664 --> 00:15:25,564
This day sucks.
386
00:15:25,566 --> 00:15:28,183
Professor Mosby,
is the field trip over?
387
00:15:28,185 --> 00:15:30,018
We'd like to go home.
388
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,603
Yeah, it's over.
389
00:15:31,605 --> 00:15:33,772
Auf wiedersehen.
390
00:15:33,774 --> 00:15:35,440
I just wanted
to inspire them,
391
00:15:35,442 --> 00:15:38,893
you know, like my professors
inspired me.
392
00:15:38,895 --> 00:15:42,114
But here we are,
at the end of the day...
393
00:15:42,116 --> 00:15:43,665
Hey, class,
quick question.
394
00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:46,418
Uh, is anyone here thinking
of becoming an architect?
395
00:15:48,288 --> 00:15:50,172
(clucks tongue)
396
00:15:51,624 --> 00:15:53,759
Really?
397
00:15:53,761 --> 00:15:55,928
Yeah, dude.
I mean,
398
00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:57,579
all jobs suck,
399
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,581
but it's 4:00
in the afternoon,
400
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,550
and you're out at a bar
with your friends,
401
00:16:01,552 --> 00:16:03,769
so the hours can't
be that bad.
402
00:16:03,771 --> 00:16:05,387
So...
403
00:16:05,389 --> 00:16:07,773
yeah, I don't know,
I'd think about it.
404
00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:11,092
(voice cracking):
I got through to you. Oh!
405
00:16:11,094 --> 00:16:14,763
I mean, that is, if becoming
a deejay doesn't pan out.
406
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,983
You are gonna be
a great architect.
407
00:16:17,985 --> 00:16:20,101
NARRATOR:
He became a deejay.
408
00:16:22,772 --> 00:16:24,072
Robin, what are you doing here?
409
00:16:24,074 --> 00:16:25,614
I told you I can't
be your therapist.
410
00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:26,459
I know.
411
00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:28,943
Today, I am your therapist.
412
00:16:28,945 --> 00:16:29,944
What?
413
00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:31,163
You said yourself,
414
00:16:31,165 --> 00:16:33,415
I'm always looking for reasons
not to be happy.
415
00:16:33,417 --> 00:16:35,334
Well, I'm trying to change that.
416
00:16:35,336 --> 00:16:37,452
So, if the only reason
we can't be together
417
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,454
is because I was
in a vulnerable place
418
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,139
for the first two hours
we knew each other
419
00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:45,427
then that is two hours of
vulnerability you owe me.
420
00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:47,346
Sit down.
421
00:16:47,348 --> 00:16:49,297
Okay.
422
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:53,819
Okay, but I must warn you, as a
professional, I'm immune to...
423
00:16:53,821 --> 00:16:54,786
Tell me about your mother.
424
00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:56,934
Everything she says
is a manipulation!
425
00:16:56,973 --> 00:16:58,273
When I was
seven years old...
426
00:16:58,275 --> 00:16:59,941
Mr. Cootes.
427
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:01,827
- Hey.
- Listen, I've been thinking
428
00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:03,745
a lot about what you said
yesterday,
429
00:17:03,747 --> 00:17:05,280
about how we're all gonna die.
430
00:17:05,282 --> 00:17:06,581
Oh, I'm not gonna die.
431
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:09,701
I bought an old mine shaft
in Colorado.
432
00:17:09,703 --> 00:17:12,738
I've spent the last six months
filling it with canned goods,
433
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,874
assault rifles and all five
seasons of Friday Night Lights.
434
00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:18,760
Okay, first of all,
you can skip season two.
435
00:17:18,762 --> 00:17:22,163
Second of all, after our talk...
436
00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:25,751
I came pretty close
to giving up myself.
437
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:29,304
But then I went to the doctor
with my wife...
438
00:17:29,306 --> 00:17:30,305
and...
439
00:17:30,307 --> 00:17:31,640
(taps key)
440
00:17:31,642 --> 00:17:33,942
I saw this.
441
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:38,380
Boy or girl?
442
00:17:38,382 --> 00:17:40,515
I don't know.
443
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:43,285
But I know I sure as hell
can't give up now.
444
00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:45,737
So, if you're just looking
for someone
445
00:17:45,739 --> 00:17:48,123
to hold the other end
of the limbo stick,
446
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:51,209
you got the wrong guy for
the job, and you know why?
447
00:17:51,211 --> 00:17:53,962
'Cause you're three feet taller
than everyone in this office?
448
00:17:53,964 --> 00:17:56,965
No. Because if I am
gonna work here,
449
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:58,800
then first thing
tomorrow morning,
450
00:17:58,802 --> 00:18:00,869
I'm walking down
to Gruber Pharmaceuticals,
451
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,838
and I'm rejecting their offer.
452
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,173
Even if I have to do it myself.
453
00:18:05,175 --> 00:18:07,175
(door opens)
454
00:18:07,177 --> 00:18:11,680
Listen, I want you
to know... I know.
455
00:18:11,682 --> 00:18:12,681
Know what?
456
00:18:12,683 --> 00:18:14,282
Nora.
457
00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:15,684
Barney.
458
00:18:15,686 --> 00:18:16,718
Nora.
459
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,219
Just say what you're gonna say!
460
00:18:18,221 --> 00:18:19,604
I know you're old!
461
00:18:19,606 --> 00:18:22,157
And I've been struggling
with it,
462
00:18:22,159 --> 00:18:25,059
but when I look at you...
463
00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:27,395
I don't care,
because I really like you.
464
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:32,567
And because for 37,
you are keeping it toit!
465
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,870
You think I'm 37?
466
00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:36,822
Well, if you were really 29,
467
00:18:36,847 --> 00:18:38,117
then you would have
been a little kid
468
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:41,009
the first time you saw the Ewoks
and you would have loved them.
469
00:18:41,011 --> 00:18:42,474
Barney, I didn't see
any of the Star Wars
470
00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:43,944
movies until last year.
471
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:48,884
You... you're 29!
472
00:18:50,052 --> 00:18:52,086
You still have
one good year left.
473
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:54,272
- What?
- Nothing.
474
00:18:54,274 --> 00:18:55,807
Mm...
475
00:18:55,809 --> 00:18:57,476
But Naveen's the neurosurgeon,
476
00:18:57,478 --> 00:18:59,594
so of course he gets
all the attention!
477
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:00,896
Oh, Naveen is so smart,
478
00:19:00,898 --> 00:19:03,815
he operates on people's brains!
479
00:19:03,817 --> 00:19:05,901
Well, guess what, Mom?!
480
00:19:05,903 --> 00:19:08,620
I treat the human mind!
481
00:19:08,622 --> 00:19:10,622
Our time is up.
482
00:19:10,624 --> 00:19:11,940
(exhales)
483
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,708
I don't think
this is gonna work.
484
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:15,410
I scared you off, didn't I?
485
00:19:15,412 --> 00:19:19,164
No, I mean, I don't think
I can be your therapist.
486
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,800
You're really cute.
487
00:19:23,069 --> 00:19:24,486
NARRATOR:
The next day,
488
00:19:24,488 --> 00:19:26,671
Marshall returned toGruber Pharmaceuticals alone.
489
00:19:26,673 --> 00:19:29,791
I mean, you admit
that you polluted the lake.
490
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:30,959
We got the evidence.
491
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,961
We got the charts.
492
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,147
The fish...
493
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,683
Fish, huh?
494
00:19:38,685 --> 00:19:40,569
Fish are weird.
495
00:19:40,571 --> 00:19:43,205
You ever think
about the names of fish?
496
00:19:43,207 --> 00:19:44,689
I mean, come on.
497
00:19:44,691 --> 00:19:45,974
Carp.
498
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,910
Garrison, what a nice surprise.
499
00:19:48,912 --> 00:19:51,413
Your star apprentice
was just, uh...
500
00:19:51,415 --> 00:19:53,081
"Floundering."
501
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:55,083
Little, little
fish humor
502
00:19:55,085 --> 00:19:56,418
for you guys.
503
00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:57,752
It was not going well.
504
00:19:57,754 --> 00:20:00,455
I'm here to turn
down the 24,000.
505
00:20:00,457 --> 00:20:04,342
Well, I can maybe get you
24,500.
506
00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:09,881
Not... good... enough.
507
00:20:14,070 --> 00:20:16,170
Where are we going?
508
00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:18,440
To war, son.
509
00:20:18,442 --> 00:20:21,226
We're going to war.
510
00:20:22,678 --> 00:20:25,397
We're going to save the planet.
511
00:20:25,399 --> 00:20:30,485
NARRATOR: And kids, as we now know,they did.
512
00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:34,772
Hey, you know
what was on last night?
513
00:20:34,774 --> 00:20:36,144
- Stand and Deliver.
- Mm.
514
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,369
- So good.
- Mm-hmm.
515
00:20:37,693 --> 00:20:40,344
Whatever happened
to Jacob James Olmos?
516
00:20:40,346 --> 00:20:41,545
Who?
517
00:20:41,547 --> 00:20:44,515
Jacob James Olmos.
Whatever happened to that guy?
518
00:20:44,517 --> 00:20:46,216
He never existed.
519
00:20:46,218 --> 00:20:47,484
It's Edward James Olmos.
520
00:20:47,486 --> 00:20:49,186
You're Olmos correct.
521
00:20:49,188 --> 00:20:51,555
It's Jacob James Olmos.
522
00:20:51,557 --> 00:20:53,607
- It's Edward James Olmos.
- Jacob James Olmos.
523
00:20:53,609 --> 00:20:55,278
Edward James Olmos.
524
00:20:55,303 --> 00:20:56,320
- You're joking, right...?
- Are you serious...?
525
00:20:56,345 --> 00:20:58,106
- Seriously.
- Jacob James Olmos.
526
00:20:58,206 --> 00:21:02,206
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
37436
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