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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,960 'The following programme contains strong language and adult humour.' 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,960 Might we have that chat today? - Sh-shh! - That's your promotion. 3 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,640 - Ian, why are you here? - I've set up camp over by the shagpiles. 4 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,440 LEE: It's Fight Club. - Argh! - Sorry, Ian! 5 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,560 A hundred days and I shall thee wed. 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,440 Expensive things, weddings. Mental the amount people spend. 7 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,800 About your suspension. A lot of stuff DID go missing. 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,640 Do you not fancy me any more...? 9 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:28,680 Glen? 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,400 STEVE: Someone's been a naughty boy! 11 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,720 It's him, Ron. We're gonna have to find his brother. 12 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,200 Why are you here?! It's really frickin' bad. 13 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,080 I'll see you the same time tomorrow for your next reading, yeah? 14 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,280 Love and light, from me to you. (CALMING MUSIC) 15 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,480 CosmicSue72. 16 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:52,000 Right. What do you want? Hm? Please, I just wanna talk to her. 17 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,520 Glen, I ain't seen her that upset since Year 10 18 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,760 when she found out that Darren only went out with her 19 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,520 cos we had a Sky dish. What I wanted to say - 20 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,080 So it's a "no" from me. Christ, Sue! 21 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,840 Sorry. I just, erm... 22 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,520 I haven't really slept. 23 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,960 I just need to see her, to explain to her... 24 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,440 What the fuck were YOU up to last night, eh? 25 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,920 (LAUGHS) (GROANING) 26 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,280 Nothing. I'll tell her you swung by. 27 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,240 (WHIRRING) 28 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,680 (GRUNTS) Kirsty! 29 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,720 (MUFFLED) Get out of it. (MUFFLED) Kirsty! Kirsty! Kirsty? 30 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,880 You shall not pass. Please! Kirst! 31 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,000 - Let me explain! - Go away, Glen! I'm not talking to you! 32 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000 I told ya. You ran off, Glen! 33 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,560 You disappeared! Lee made me! 34 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,040 Oh, yeah, bloody Lee! Sod off! 35 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,760 (GRUNTS) Get out of it! 36 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,480 Alright, yeah, yeah. Bye, love. See you later! 37 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,240 Dance class, yeah? Maybe. 38 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,280 Have a good day at work! Love you! 39 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,920 Get out! (GRUNTS) Alright, Sue! 40 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,000 Clear off, will ya? Sue, wait! Sue. 41 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,560 Listen, just give her this, yeah? For her lunch break. 42 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,360 I've done her favourite. 43 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,760 Whatevs. Sue, Sue! 44 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,160 Fuck! 45 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,960 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 46 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,800 Well? She won't talk to me. 47 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,160 So, you know, thanks for that. 48 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,080 I was trying to help you, you prawn! I didn't know she was upstairs - 49 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,080 It don't matter now because she won't even... 50 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,640 Fucking Sue thinks that... 51 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:33,480 And now you're stinking up my upholstery with your bloody... 52 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,320 Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! 53 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,960 Stress of the D'Urbervilles. Chill out. 54 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,640 You'll think of something to win her over. 55 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,920 What is this, anyway? (SNIFFS) 56 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,800 Smells like Nan's. 57 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,720 RADIO: 'This one is Power Of A Woman by Eternal.' 58 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,760 (SONG PLAYS) 59 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,400 Alright, love? Bit sad? 60 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,320 I get it. Men. 61 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,320 I see Glen still don't know you're a jobless wonder. 62 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,720 Let's have a chill-out day. 63 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,560 Bargain Hunt's on in a bit. I think I might go into town. 64 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,480 Oh. Alright. Well, I'll do me hair - On my own. 65 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,040 I see. 66 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,320 Well, at least have your breakfast, seeing as I've made it. 67 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,080 No, I'm alright, thanks. Hm... 68 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,400 Ungrateful cow. 69 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,240 'Talk me through this one more time!' 70 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,400 Your situation. Fuck's sake. I've told ya. 71 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,880 I borrowed some money off some naughty people. 72 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,440 I gotta lie low. It's nothing. 73 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,760 How is that nothing? Eh? Fuck! 74 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,760 I tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get out of your hair 75 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,880 and I'm gonna go find a hotel or summink. 76 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,720 What? No! No, you can't go anywhere! It's not safe. 77 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,120 These blokes who are looking for you, right, 78 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,240 they don't know where I live. So, stay at mine. 79 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,400 It's fine, but we need a plan. Tonight, when I come home from work, 80 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,560 we'll... think of something. 81 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,160 (RATTLING) 82 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,080 Like Mum used to say. Remember? 83 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,040 "When your head is in a spin, take a mint and pop it in." 84 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,800 (CHUCKLES) 85 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,360 She weren't wrong. 86 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,280 Thanks, Glen. 87 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,640 Oh, shit. 88 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,320 What if someone comes to ME looking for YOU? One of these men? 89 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,600 You'll be sweet. 90 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,520 You just gotta keep your eyes open 91 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,760 for geezers driving about in blacked-out motors, 92 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,840 with tattoos on their faces and shooters. OK? So... 93 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,600 You know, the er... (LAUGHS) 94 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,840 I'm joking. I can't even have a laugh! 95 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,760 Jesus Christ! You're gonna be fine! 96 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,560 Anyone asks you anything, you just say... 97 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,240 ..."I ain't seen him in years." Alright. 98 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,040 (MIMICS) "I ain't seen him in years." 99 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,920 "I ain't seen him in years." 100 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,720 Excuse me. I'm looking for — I ain't seen him in years. 101 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,440 ...your laminates. Sorry. Um... 102 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,160 It's back that way. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 103 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,880 Mm. 104 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,360 Psst! Psst! 105 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,200 (DRUNKENLY) Hello, Glen! 106 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,120 (THUD) 107 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,760 Ian, where's your trousers? 108 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,800 They're gone. 109 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,720 Oh. 110 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,600 ♪ WHITNEY HOUSTON: Million Dollar Bill 111 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:28,520 ♪ If he makes you feel like a million dollar bill, say... ♪ 112 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,840 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh! 113 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,480 ♪ Go left right, up down... ♪ 114 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:38,200 But, Ian... Ian, have you not slept? Ian? 115 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,800 I am not the Ian you once knew, Glen. 116 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,400 But I see it now. Lee showed me! 117 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,680 (WHISPERS) None of this matters! 118 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,600 Boom! 119 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,280 See? No consequences! 120 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,840 Because the truth is, Glen, 121 00:05:56,840 --> 00:06:00,640 everything is completely meaningle- (BROKEN GLASS CRUNCHES) 122 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,840 Ow! Ow! Ow! OK, alright, alright. 123 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,600 I don't need any of this. 124 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,680 (SOBS) I'm gonna fucking quit. 125 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,800 Ian, Ian, please don't do that. No, no. 126 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,800 You just want your little promotion, eh? 127 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,520 Well, tough tits, big boy. 128 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,680 I'm off, baby. 129 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,000 I'm out of here for good. OK. 130 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,040 Just as soon as I can find my trousers. 131 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,000 Find... my... 132 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,520 (MUMBLES) Find... Ian? 133 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,160 (SNORES SOFTLY) Ian... 134 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,200 Uh... 135 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,200 Ooh-ooh. 136 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,760 (SNORING CONTINUES) 137 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,240 Yo, Glen! (GASPS) 138 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:54,000 Mate... you can do better than THAT. 139 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,800 What? Uh... 140 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,080 Aysha, no, no, no. Aysha, he's... Aysha! 141 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,600 Have some of this. It's what rappers drink. 142 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,200 Er, I'm good, thanks, Ian. Cos it's haram. 143 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,200 Also, it's half nine in the morning! 144 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:10,000 Aysha? Aysha, we need to keep him here and sober him up. 145 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,680 Chris Tarrant! 146 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,720 Right? What about him, eh? 147 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,840 Right, you'll have to go out front. What? Why? 148 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,000 Cos there's these two fuckers asking for the manager, innit? 149 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,920 Scary cunts. I'LL deal with him. 150 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,560 It's SIR Trevor McDonald to you! 151 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,120 Oi, Glen? Hm? 152 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,800 If shit gets nasty, can I fuck him up or what? 153 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:34,240 ♪ ETERNAL: Power Of A Woman 154 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,200 ♪ Let me take control 155 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,840 ♪ Body, mind and soul 156 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,840 ♪ Ahhh, doo doo doo... ♪ 157 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,760 How's that for you? Er, yeah! It looks great, thank you. 158 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,680 Lovely. My Auntie Janet wore that to ABBA Voyage. 159 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:52,960 (TANNOY CHIME) 160 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,000 'Belinda, please come to the lingerie department.' 161 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,040 (FAINT MUSIC) (CHILD BAWLS NEARBY) 162 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,840 Hi, there! How can I... 163 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,120 ...help? 164 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,560 Glen Campbell. How do you know my...? 165 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:19,280 Oh, it's... It's on my badge! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 166 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,920 Glen Campbell. Like country singer? Uh, yeah, yeah. 167 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,880 Er, Rhinestone Cowboy! Yeah, our mum was a big country music fan. 168 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,320 So, er - And your brother? 169 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,400 Some naughty people. You said "Our mum". 170 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,400 Your brother, what's his name? 171 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,080 Is Johnny Cash? (LAUGHS AND EXPLAINS IN BOSNIAN) 172 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,280 Nah. No, no, it's just, erm... 173 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,560 (CLEARS THROAT) No, I don't... I don't have a brother. 174 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:52,200 Just me and my sister. Dolly Parton. (LAUGHS) 175 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,920 (LAUGHS) Oh, you are funny guy. 176 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,200 Thank you. Yes, well, trying to be, yeah... 177 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,000 ...with tattoos on their faces. 178 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,880 What? Nothing, no, no. It's j... Um... 179 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,200 (CLEARS THROAT) You have... 180 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,560 lovely... eyes. 181 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:19,240 You know, I think we will get along very well. Yes? 182 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,720 IAN: I need Lee! Where's Lee? Dickhead, bruv! 183 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,920 (GRUNTING) Oh, I'm s... 184 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,640 I'm just gonna go and see... 185 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,920 (TINNY SOUND QUALITY) ♪ And don't it feel good, hey 186 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,360 ♪ Alright 187 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,560 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 188 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,880 (MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES) 189 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,600 It's alright. I'll come now. 190 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,440 There's only one woman here trying on that horrible sequined thing. 191 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:59,560 - Argh! - What did I say, bitch? Don't try me! 192 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:02,640 This prick's had a second wind! Lee! 193 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,840 Who's he talking about, anyway? (MUFFLED GROANS) 194 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,840 Alright, it's about my brother. 195 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,840 He's staying with me, he's in a bit of trouble 196 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,000 and I think those men outside are looking for him. 197 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,200 Don't tell anyone, alright? (MUFFLED GROANS) 198 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,240 We need to call Sheila, his wife! Have you got her number, though? 199 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,160 Fuck! Give me the fucking -No! 200 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,120 - Give me! - Get the tape, Aysha! - Lee! - Get the fucking tape! 201 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,160 (BROODING GUITAR MUSIC) 202 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,160 SECURITY WOMAN: Is that you? 203 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,080 I-I did it because I... Oh! 204 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,120 Oh. 205 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:51,040 Is there someone you want to call? My fiance! 206 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,920 (BLOWS NOSE NOISILY) 207 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,760 (MUFFLED CRIES) Hold him still, man! What's wrong with you? 208 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,640 Do it! (PHONE PINGS) 209 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,360 Got it! Suck it, bruv! 210 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,600 Suck your mum! (MUFFLED CRIES) 211 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,680 You call Sheila. I'm gonna deal with these blokes. 212 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,760 Bro, bro. You got this, bruv! 213 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,600 Spud me, then, dickhead! 214 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,800 (WEAK MOANING) 215 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,920 (MUFFLED SCREAM) 216 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,840 (MAN TALKING ON TV) 217 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,280 (PHONE BUZZES) 218 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,600 MAN ON TV: 'The way you've been talking suggests 219 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,280 that there's quite a lot of...' (PHONE BUZZES) 220 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,600 '..high stress situations that you have to deal with.' 221 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,560 'Yes, the stresses of modern life make it hard to get some peace. 222 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,680 Our minds are constantly whirring. 223 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:36,560 but I do know that there's always one thing that I can count on 224 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,400 to bring me some relief.' 225 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,560 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) 226 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,600 ♪ You know, baby 227 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,720 ♪ I want you to feel it 228 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,360 ♪ You see 229 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,280 ♪ I want you to feel the tempo 230 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,480 ♪ So, just listen to me, baby 231 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,600 ♪ Can't stop me now 232 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,240 ♪ Hear what I say 233 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,480 ♪ My feet want to move so just get out my way 234 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,240 (CLATTERING) ♪ I'm gonna have my say 235 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,240 ♪ I'm gonna introduce your dance 236 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,400 ♪ I'm gonna dance, dance, dance, ooh 237 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,240 ♪ If you make the chance 238 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,200 ♪ Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame 239 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,880 ♪ Oh, shame on you 240 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,840 ♪ If you can't dance too 241 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,760 ♪ I said shame, shame, shame, shame (RATTLES) 242 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,320 ♪ Shame, shame, shame 243 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,280 ♪ Shame on you 244 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,640 ♪ If you can't dance too 245 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,360 ♪ Don't stop the motion 246 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,240 ♪ If you gets the notion 247 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:37,160 ♪ You can't stop the groove cos you just don't move 248 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,240 ♪ Got my salmon down 249 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,360 ♪ Got my diamond in the back 250 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,520 ♪ Pull off the shirt and wiggle around me 251 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,720 ♪ You're gonna do your thing 252 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,000 ♪ Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame 253 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,320 ♪ Oh, shame on you... ♪ 254 00:12:54,086 --> 00:12:56,560 He's here. Your fiance. 255 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,640 (BROODING GUITAR MUSIC) 256 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,400 Alright, my darling? 257 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,160 So tell me, Glen Campbell... 258 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,640 do you live around here? 259 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,320 Uh, no, no. Far, very far. 260 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,040 Really? 261 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:32,560 So, um, let's take a look... at fabrications. 262 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,600 I think you know we're not only here for carpet, Glen. 263 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,400 We're looking for someone, Glen. 264 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,720 You understand? Yeah. 265 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,840 (CLEARS THROAT) Tell you what. 266 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,760 I might just pop and get the very big sample book. Ha-ha... 267 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,680 So, if you just bear with me for a moment... Hey! 268 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,200 Come back soon. 269 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,920 We will wait. 270 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,760 (SHAKILY) Fuck. 271 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:03,960 Fuck! 272 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,840 (MUFFLED) What? What is it? 273 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,360 Fuck. 274 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,640 Fuuuck! Fuck. 275 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,440 Pick up! Fucking pick up, Lee! 276 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,240 What? Is he here? I don't know what to do. 277 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,520 I don't know what to do. (SOBERLY) Glen! 278 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,640 Hang up the phone, Glen. 279 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,920 You DO know what to do, Glen. Lee showed us. 280 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:30,840 We're men, Glen! We don't run from our problems! 281 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,800 Lee helped us last night. Now it's time we helped HIM. 282 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,440 Just think, "What would Lee do?" 283 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,960 She's been detained for questioning. 284 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,200 After that, I'll call the police. Not really being detained, is it? 285 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,480 Cos there's a treacle waiting to get her sandwiches. 286 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,160 (DOOR OPENS) Sorry! Won't be a min! 287 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,760 What you gone for? Nice bit of ham? Yeah. Thanks. 288 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,560 Fine! We'll skip straight to calling the police. 289 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,360 Good. Can we do that, please? Do me a favour while you're at it. 290 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,880 Tell them to bang her up for a very, very long time. 291 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,760 - What? - What? I've had enough, Kirst! 292 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,960 I've had enough of this, alright? 293 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,320 You're not well. 294 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,240 If this is the kick up the bollocks you need, so be it. 295 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,640 No! I... No, no, no. 296 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,000 Doing it for charity doesn't mean it's OK. 297 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000 (SPLUTTERS) 298 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,680 Yeah... 299 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,640 Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. 300 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,960 It started off really small, er, the Ice Bucket Challenge, 301 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,880 then we had, what was it, the Couch To 5K? 302 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,480 Then she got a real taste for it, 303 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,280 then we went on to the Tsunami Relief, 304 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,560 then the Syrian earthquake - Help For Heroes. 305 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,000 Then we had the Help For Heroes. 306 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,280 Honestly, if you hadn't had stopped her... See this? 307 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,960 This would've been straight on eBay, 308 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,200 all the money going straight to fucking... Autism Awareness. 309 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,360 Is that right? Yeah. I just... I really... 310 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,520 I just care a lot, like, too much. - She does. - Yeah, I can't help it. 311 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,480 - She can't. - And I, you know, I just, I've got a... 312 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:05,600 I've got a big heart, see, and just ain't nobody gonna change that! 313 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,600 So just, er, just get it done. 314 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:14,000 Call 'em. Cos she needs to learn... to stop being so fucking generous. 315 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,160 Yeah. 316 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,760 Honestly... (SIGHS) 317 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,040 I feel sort of... 318 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,520 ...insulted that you thought that would work. 319 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,880 I mean, you're a white woman in a tea dress. 320 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,320 The worst you're gonna get is a caution. 321 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,520 You know what, just piss off! 322 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,760 And take your eyelashes with ya! 323 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,800 (UPBEAT SOUL RHYTHM) 324 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,000 I'm sorry. We don't have anything else in store 325 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,760 that would be suitable for you. So... (CLEARS THROAT) 326 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,360 ...I'm afraid you might be best to go elsewhere. 327 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,520 Come, Glen. We go. 328 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,440 Blago is getting impatient. 329 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,320 (GRUNTING) 330 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,920 Fine. 331 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,800 (INHALES DEEPLY) 332 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,120 Yeah, you wanna do this? Yeah? Let's just do it. 333 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:12,720 You wanna fuck me up? Yeah! Fuck me up. Sure. 334 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,920 I won't go down without a fight. 335 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:16,920 (GRUNTS AND GROANS) 336 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,000 You can do what you want to me, but I swear... 337 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,680 I'm never gonna show you where I live! 338 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,960 (CALMLY) OK, no problem. We host. 339 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,000 Sorry? Yeah, sure. We host. 340 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,920 I'm sorry. I'm not quite sure what you... 341 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,560 OK, look... 342 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,160 Two tops... looking for a bottom. 343 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,800 Casual hookups. No strings. 344 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,800 I enjoy... 345 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,200 ...nipple play. 346 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,720 Yeah, me not so much. You? 347 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,840 Oh. Oh, I'm... 348 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:56,320 Sorry, I'm... I'm not... I don't... 349 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,920 Oh! 350 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,840 (SPEAKS BOSNIAN) ..Dolly Parton? 351 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,520 So... Sorry. 352 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,320 So, you're not interested in my brother? 353 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,040 Erm, is he cute? (DOOR BANGS) 354 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,760 IAN: Lee, I'm coming! WAAARGH! 355 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,840 Ian, no! They're just gays! Aaaargh! 356 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,280 SHEILA: Ian! 357 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,720 What are you doing? Hello, Sheila. 358 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,440 I'm so sorry about this. 359 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,280 Ian, love, where are your trousers? 360 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,320 (MUMBLES) My... 361 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,840 Oh. 362 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,520 I'm sorry. So... 363 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,400 you and Ian... Separated, yes. 364 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:37,200 It's been six months. But I don't think it's sunk in for him just yet. 365 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,640 I'm sorry. Ian. Ian! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Ian. Sorry... 366 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:48,040 Sorry. You DID say, didn't you, you know, about the promotion... 367 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,160 There is no promotion, Glen. - What? - I just... 368 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,560 One time, it slipped out, "Oh, you'll be due a promotion." 369 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,440 And then you just kept bringing it up. 370 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,120 No, no, no. Ian, Ian... Come on, Ian. No, I'm sorry. 371 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,680 Ian, Ian, Ian! Ian! Ian... 372 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,680 ♪ Un Homme Et Une Femme 373 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,600 AYSHA: I think I finally get it, 374 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,000 what people mean when they say "job satisfaction". 375 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,960 When you was like, "Restrain Ian! Fuck him up!" 376 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,280 And I was like, "Biiitch!" (LAUGHS) 377 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,120 Best day! 378 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:28,240 Why are you being like this, bro? Why are you killing my vibe? 379 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,640 What am I gonna tell Kirsty? You know? 380 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,760 We've planned our wedding around a promotion that don't exist. I'm a fucking idiot. 381 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,880 I didn't even know you was getting married. 382 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,120 This is your problem - you keep your shit locked down. (TUTS) 383 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,920 I'll sort it. 384 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,080 Pardon? (MIMICS) "Pardon?" 385 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,160 Honestly, you crack me up. You're like Mr Bean or summink. 386 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,880 I'll sort it. Just like I sorted Brian. 387 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,240 What? My family own this place, remember? 388 00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,840 I told my dad that Brian showed me his dick in the stock overflow area, 389 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,960 and now he don't work here no more. 390 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,040 So I'll get Dad to make you manager while Ian's away. 391 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,440 And you'll get paid like double or summink. 392 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,720 You're joking? 393 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,000 Aysha? 394 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,760 Aysha, oh, my God. 395 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,040 Are you sure? (SPLUTTERS) 396 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,280 (LAUGHS) 397 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,760 I've gotta tell Kirsty. She's gonna be, erm... 398 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,760 Right. Tell you what. (CLEARS THROAT) 399 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,200 (PHONE RINGS) As temporary interim acting manager, 400 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,400 my first executive order is... 401 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,840 Ha! We're closing early! 402 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,880 Yeah. In fact, I tell you what... YOU'RE...closing early, Aysha. 403 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,520 Because I have got a fiancee to win back. 404 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,400 Yes, Glen! Go off, short king! 405 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,320 (CHUCKLES) "Pardon?" 406 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,360 This bloody guy. Honestly, he cracks me up. 407 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,800 Oh, soz, mate. Closing early. 408 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,840 Honestly, it's been a mad one. 409 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,880 Glen, yeah, the one that just left, 410 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,920 he's got this brother who's staying with him, right? 411 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,000 'Fucking trouble, ya know what I'm saying? 412 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,240 Like, I'M bad, innit...' 413 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,560 KIRSTY: I only called you because... Yeah. 414 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,440 So there's no need to tell - No. 415 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,960 God, no. 416 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,160 And actually... 417 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,920 ...I had it all under control... 418 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,600 before. 419 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,320 Cos it was only meant to be like... 420 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,880 ...little things, like... 421 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:29,520 I don't know, like mascara or whatever, but just... 422 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,800 Now I've got barbecue sauce on my top. 423 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,240 (SNIFFLES) Here. 424 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,880 Thank you. 425 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,600 Lee... 426 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,000 ...do you ever feel like you're just, like... 427 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,520 ...the worst person in the world? 428 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:09,400 (CRYING) You try, you really try, but you just... 429 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,760 You just... (SOBS) 430 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,760 You, er... 431 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,760 You've got a chip... 432 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,920 (POP MUSIC RINGTONE) ♪ Jump for my love! 433 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,680 ♪ Jump in! 434 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,760 ♪ And feel my touch 435 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,960 ♪ Jump, if you want to taste my kisses in the night 436 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,600 ♪ Then jump for my love 437 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,040 ♪ I know my heart... ♪ 438 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,280 Hey, love! 439 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:48,080 Yeah, erm, I'm just staying late at work, with Jen. 440 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,160 I'm snowed under. 441 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,240 Yeah? OK, yeah! See you later. See you at dance class. 442 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,000 Alright, love. No worries. 443 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,240 See you later. (LIFT BELL PINGS) 444 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,480 Thanks, Jen. 445 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,920 Glen, I... 446 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,720 I think you might want to talk to Kirsty... 447 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,440 about her suspension? 448 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,480 ♪ CW STONEKING: The Love Me Or Die 449 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,320 ♪ I studied evil, I can't deny 450 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,880 ♪ Was a hoodoo charm called a Love Me Or Die 451 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,680 ♪ Some fingernail, a piece of her dress 452 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,920 ♪ Apothecary, Devil's behest 453 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:46,240 ♪ I will relate the piteous consequence, my mistake 454 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,440 ♪ Fallin' slave to passing desire 455 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:53,280 ♪ Makin' the dreaded Love Me Or Die ♪ 456 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,960 Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky 33802

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