Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,295
- Previously on How
I Met Your Father...
2
00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:06,341
- I think I've found the man that I'm
gonna spend the rest of my life with.
3
00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:08,802
I'm moving to Australia.
4
00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,554
- We're married!
- Aaah!
5
00:00:11,555 --> 00:00:13,013
What?
6
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:16,141
Valentina... I don't want kids.
7
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,601
We broke up.
8
00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,311
I moved to New
York to start over,
9
00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:20,646
reconnect with my brother.
10
00:00:20,647 --> 00:00:22,231
- Aaaah!
- Whoo!
11
00:00:22,232 --> 00:00:24,191
- Oh, my God, my brother and I...
- Okay, yeah.
12
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,526
- Jesse and I see the
world the same way.
13
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:28,113
And there's been something
between us since the day we met.
14
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,615
We need to break up.
15
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,199
What?
16
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:34,828
I love you, Sophie.
17
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,538
- We don't even know if
this is gonna work out.
18
00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:38,498
Got it.
19
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:40,708
- What did Jesse
do wrong other than
20
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:43,419
say everything you ever
wanted a guy to say
21
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,754
just faster than you expected.
22
00:00:51,261 --> 00:00:52,678
Hi!
23
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:53,804
Hi.
24
00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:55,514
Is this a good time?
25
00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:07,234
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
26
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,030
♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ♪
27
00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:17,161
Mom? Mom! Where are you?
28
00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:20,706
If you don't come back in three
seconds, I'm going to hang up!
29
00:01:20,707 --> 00:01:22,458
Three, two...
30
00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:24,836
Calm down! I'm right here!
31
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,923
God, you're, like,
obsessed with my story.
32
00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:31,759
You said you'd be
right back, and then you vanished.
33
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,637
It felt like a year.
Wait, did you make food?
34
00:01:34,638 --> 00:01:37,307
Spaghetti pomodoro, yes!
35
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,143
I also took a power nap.
36
00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:43,688
Telling a story of this
breadth is exhausting.
37
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:47,816
Okay, back to the night
of my first gallery show.
38
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,276
Is this a good time?
39
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:50,945
Um...
40
00:01:50,946 --> 00:01:52,030
I'm back in New York.
41
00:01:52,614 --> 00:01:53,781
I see that.
42
00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:56,409
- I saw your post about the show
and I decided to surprise you.
43
00:01:57,452 --> 00:01:58,577
Surprise!
44
00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:05,584
I hope me showing up
like this is okay.
45
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:09,339
I mean, I have no idea what's going
on in your life right now. Like...
46
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:11,466
romantically?
47
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:16,136
- I considered what a hot
mess my last 48 hours were.
48
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,846
The forbidden kisses.
49
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,139
The break-ups.
50
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,349
The hook-ups.
51
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,142
The sleep "I love you's."
52
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,519
The flame-outs.
53
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,145
The betrayals.
54
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,730
The murders.
55
00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:28,107
Wait, what?
56
00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:30,318
- I killed a rat right
before my gallery show.
57
00:02:31,444 --> 00:02:33,654
It-it's not related to
my horrible love life.
58
00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:36,535
It was just... It was... Well, it was,
you know... It was weighing on me.
59
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:39,743
Anyway, I was torn.
60
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,247
I mean, his timing,
it was terrible!
61
00:02:43,248 --> 00:02:45,332
But, on the other hand,
62
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,336
I was getting a second shot
with the one that got away.
63
00:02:49,671 --> 00:02:50,838
So, I said...
64
00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:54,675
- There is absolutely nothing
going on with me romantically.
65
00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:57,429
- Great. Can I buy you
a drink after this?
66
00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,555
I'd like that.
67
00:02:59,556 --> 00:03:02,182
Excuse me.
68
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,894
I need to steal the
artist and introduce her
69
00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:06,353
to reality!
70
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,273
- What are you doin'?
- What?
71
00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:11,275
- Things with Jesse just ended.
You were really sad about it,
72
00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:13,110
like, five minutes ago.
73
00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:15,029
Are you really ready to
go out with another guy?
74
00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:16,614
- I-I don't know,
75
00:03:16,615 --> 00:03:18,490
but I've already watched Ian
walk out of my life once.
76
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,075
I'm not gonna let him
get away from me again.
77
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,660
And I know that came out
a little bit stalker-y,
78
00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,329
but it doesn't matter
because you know what?
79
00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:26,917
He tracked me down at my show,
so who's the stalker now? Ha!
80
00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:31,545
Hey.
81
00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:33,298
Hey.
82
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:37,636
- So, I wanna hear everything
about your elopement!
83
00:03:38,678 --> 00:03:40,180
Actually...
84
00:03:40,722 --> 00:03:42,682
Congrats.
You're married.
85
00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,434
Really? That's it?
86
00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:47,937
- You're not even gonna be like,
"Do you, Sid, take Hannah?"
87
00:03:47,938 --> 00:03:49,022
Who's Sid and Hannah?
88
00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:52,442
Who do you think?
89
00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:55,778
- Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to tell
that story for the rest of my life
90
00:03:55,779 --> 00:03:57,238
- and it...
- Sucks.
91
00:03:57,239 --> 00:03:58,530
And every time we tell it,
92
00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:01,367
everyone's mouth's
gonna be like, "aww."
93
00:04:01,368 --> 00:04:03,160
- Their eyes are gonna be like, "ooh."
- Mm!
94
00:04:06,164 --> 00:04:08,667
- Oh, it's already happening!
Look at their eyes!
95
00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:12,044
Okay...
96
00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:13,295
Okay, it's still
our wedding day.
97
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,297
Let's just... Let's just call
all our friends to the bar
98
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,299
and just have the best
wedding party of all time.
99
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,385
And then that will
become our wedding story.
100
00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:20,136
- Mm-hmm.
101
00:04:20,137 --> 00:04:22,222
Damn! I just got husbanded.
102
00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:24,932
- Hey, maybe you two can
do, like, a couple's roast.
103
00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:26,600
That would be funny.
104
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,811
Just don't mention my
Anna Kendrick Cups phase.
105
00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:37,654
We can't do a couple's
roast because...
106
00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:40,072
we're not a couple anymore.
107
00:04:40,073 --> 00:04:41,282
Wait, what?
108
00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:44,785
- We realized that we
want different things.
109
00:04:44,786 --> 00:04:46,495
So, we're friends now.
110
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:49,331
- Can you guys really just turn
it off like that? You know,
111
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,126
your dynamic is
incredibly sexual.
112
00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:53,711
You coined the phrase
"Netflix and..."
113
00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:05,222
Th-that's
all in the past.
114
00:05:05,223 --> 00:05:07,474
- We are just buds now.
- Yep.
115
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,562
Total bros. Hug it out, bro?
116
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,063
Bring it in, bro.
117
00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:14,941
- You're hard, bro.
- Oh.
118
00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:18,152
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
119
00:05:18,153 --> 00:05:19,486
I'm here! I'm here! I'm here.
120
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,822
Oh, my God. I raced over
as soon as I saw your text.
121
00:05:21,823 --> 00:05:24,575
Holy shit, man! You're
married?! Wha...
122
00:05:24,576 --> 00:05:26,994
W-what about your wedding
a-and your Indian wedding?
123
00:05:26,995 --> 00:05:29,163
A-and why wasn't I there? I mean,
did you have another best man?
124
00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:31,248
Was he Indian? It's
okay if he was. Like...
125
00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:33,042
- I don't even know why I asked that.
- No.
126
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:35,295
No best man. We eloped.
127
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:39,215
- Huh? Huh? Just be happy for us, man!
- I am! I am!
128
00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:40,717
Is that Ian?
129
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,052
Yep.
130
00:05:43,053 --> 00:05:45,555
He just got back to town
and came to surprise me.
131
00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:48,391
That's not a problem, is it?
132
00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,685
Nope. Why would it be a problem?
133
00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,806
- It wouldn't be.
- Great. So there's no problem then.
134
00:05:54,898 --> 00:05:57,149
There's clearly a problem.
135
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:58,526
Somebody say what's going on.
136
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,196
- Sophie and I decided that
us dating was a bad idea.
137
00:06:02,197 --> 00:06:04,740
Oh, so just friends then.
138
00:06:04,741 --> 00:06:06,451
Word of advice. Don't hug her.
139
00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:09,787
Okay, I don't care who's dating
140
00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:12,122
or who's just friends
or who's hard.
141
00:06:12,123 --> 00:06:14,792
Hannah and I get one wedding
day, and you're our best friends,
142
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,086
so you're all gonna come to the
bar, you're going to act normal,
143
00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:19,005
and you're gonna celebrate
our love, damn it!
144
00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:22,591
There's an open bar.
145
00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:27,888
Hoo-hoo!
146
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:30,432
Sorry. I was trying to
seamlessly cheer my way in.
147
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,935
I missed the window.
148
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:35,980
- Hey, you know what? About that
drink, my friends just decided
149
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:38,148
to throw a last-minute wedding
party at their bar, so...
150
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:40,902
That sounds like fun! I'm in!
151
00:06:42,821 --> 00:06:44,822
Okay! Everybody
gets a job.
152
00:06:44,823 --> 00:06:46,824
- Jesse, best man toast.
- Woo!
153
00:06:46,825 --> 00:06:50,244
And may I just say that you
chose the best man for the job?
154
00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:51,412
Ha ha ha!
155
00:06:51,413 --> 00:06:53,914
Keep that out of my toast.
Sophie, you're taking photos.
156
00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:55,416
Ooh, I don't have my camera.
157
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:57,793
- Oh, really? Does your
phone not have a camera?
158
00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,044
More snapping, less yapping.
159
00:06:59,045 --> 00:07:01,213
Val, Charlie, you're in
charge of the photo montage.
160
00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:03,924
Now, is that clear, or are you
gonna be a Sophie about it?
161
00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:07,469
- And, of course, thank you all so
much for attending our special day.
162
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,972
- What she said. Ellen,
wedding playlist.
163
00:07:09,973 --> 00:07:11,640
Make sure it has
the Electric Slide.
164
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:14,852
- Dude, no! No, no, everybody
hates the Electric Slide.
165
00:07:14,853 --> 00:07:17,438
Have you not learned your lesson?
Our first week at college,
166
00:07:17,439 --> 00:07:20,524
Sid tried to start a
spontaneous slide on the quad.
167
00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:23,527
- Jesse, I'm doing it.
- No.
168
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,154
♪ It's electric! ♪
169
00:07:25,155 --> 00:07:27,114
Let's slide, people!
170
00:07:29,993 --> 00:07:30,994
Okay!
171
00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:37,416
That guy became a
Wesleyan legend.
172
00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,127
They called him the Stomper.
173
00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:41,086
- Come on, guys.
It's our wedding.
174
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:44,173
I would rather be electric-cuted.
175
00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:45,675
Ice cold.
176
00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:48,303
I respect it.
177
00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:53,182
- Why don't you go grab us some
drinks and snag us a table?
178
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:55,893
- Oh, sure. What do you... Oh.
- Just surprise me.
179
00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:57,645
Listen, everyone.
180
00:07:57,646 --> 00:07:59,021
I don't want Ian to know
181
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,815
that I burned through two
different guys in the past day.
182
00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:05,319
So everyone be cool and
chill. Just like me.
183
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,520
Cool and chill. Yeah? Let me
hear you say it. What am I?
184
00:08:08,031 --> 00:08:09,907
- Cool and chill.
- Alright, now let's do me.
185
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:12,661
I am tall and curious.
186
00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,384
I don't get it.
187
00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:31,805
You two were so into each other
like a day ago. What happened?
188
00:08:33,223 --> 00:08:34,598
You're great with
secrets, right?
189
00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:36,977
No. I'm great with sequins.
190
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:43,274
- Wow, that looks just like you.
- I know!
191
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,775
It only took me 12
Saturday nights to make.
192
00:08:44,776 --> 00:08:46,528
- Only 12.
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,279
Okay, now dish, fish.
194
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,614
Alright, but look, let's
just keep this between us, okay?
195
00:08:50,615 --> 00:08:52,658
I don't wanna add any drama
to Sid and Hannah's big night.
196
00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:55,160
- Don't worry. Hey,
I'm your sister.
197
00:08:55,161 --> 00:08:56,704
- I'll keep your secret.
- Okay.
198
00:08:56,705 --> 00:08:58,956
- And I know my way around a sister secret.
- Great.
199
00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:01,250
Okay, uh, well,
anyway, last night,
200
00:09:01,251 --> 00:09:03,586
I accidentally told Sophie
that I loved her in my sleep.
201
00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:04,546
- What?
- Then she freaked out
202
00:09:04,547 --> 00:09:06,297
and told me that I should
go on tour with Meredith.
203
00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:07,756
- What?!
- So then, I got really upset
204
00:09:07,757 --> 00:09:09,383
and told her to leave,
and then I called Meredith
205
00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:10,718
- and invited her over.
- What?!
206
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:13,137
- I know. So she showed up, and
all of a sudden, we're making out,
207
00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,514
and I guess I kind of agreed
to go on tour with her.
208
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:16,850
What?
209
00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:20,144
I'm sorry. I couldn't
go any higher, so I went low.
210
00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:21,437
The whole thing is
really confusing.
211
00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:22,730
I mean, I was so into Sophie...
212
00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:24,524
- Oh, who cares about
your stupid love life?
213
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,234
You're leaving me to go on tour?
214
00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:28,360
Wait, what?
215
00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:31,196
- I moved across the country
to reconnect with you!
216
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:34,743
And now, you're abandoning me to
go on tour with your ex-girlfriend?
217
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,494
That is
not gonna trigger
218
00:09:37,495 --> 00:09:39,622
my adopted person
abandonment issues at all!
219
00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:40,999
- Ellen, come on...
- Shh!
220
00:09:47,214 --> 00:09:48,672
Wow.
221
00:09:48,673 --> 00:09:50,133
She really has a gift.
222
00:09:51,593 --> 00:09:53,887
I've got an order for Sad?
223
00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:57,182
- It-it's Sid. Thank
you. Thank you for that.
224
00:09:58,016 --> 00:09:59,099
- Hannah?
- Hm?
225
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,935
- What wedding would be
complete without a cake?
226
00:10:00,936 --> 00:10:03,270
Okay, now,
options were limited,
227
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:05,523
but I did find a deli
that has your favorite...
228
00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:08,944
What the hell is this?
229
00:10:09,402 --> 00:10:12,738
- It's gefilte fish. My
mom serves it on Passover.
230
00:10:12,739 --> 00:10:15,075
It's a traditional
Jewish ground fish loaf.
231
00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:18,035
- Hannah, this was supposed
to be red velvet cake!
232
00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:19,537
Not this... nightmare fish!
233
00:10:21,498 --> 00:10:24,084
- How do we have no
pictures of Hannah and Sid?
234
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:27,044
- I have a strict no
earnest smiling policy.
235
00:10:27,045 --> 00:10:28,505
Those two have a disease.
236
00:10:31,258 --> 00:10:32,258
I'm proud of us.
237
00:10:32,884 --> 00:10:34,510
For how well we're
handling this breakup
238
00:10:34,511 --> 00:10:37,138
and transitioning
into being bros.
239
00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:39,932
Yeah, me, too.
240
00:10:39,933 --> 00:10:41,850
I think we're being very mature.
241
00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:45,397
- Just... two mature bros.
- Mm-hmm.
242
00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:48,191
Like Ian McKellen
and Patrick Stewart.
243
00:10:53,446 --> 00:10:55,031
I like being your friend.
244
00:10:56,283 --> 00:10:57,843
I think you're easy
to be friends with.
245
00:11:00,579 --> 00:11:01,955
You, too.
246
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:10,964
And you also.
247
00:11:17,512 --> 00:11:18,512
Yep.
248
00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:26,979
Hey.
249
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,856
Why does your friend
from your photo keep...
250
00:11:28,857 --> 00:11:30,317
staring at us like that?
251
00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:35,363
He looks like an anglerfish
who just saw a crab.
252
00:11:36,031 --> 00:11:37,032
A what?
253
00:11:37,657 --> 00:11:39,950
- Man, that line would've
killed back on the boat.
254
00:11:39,951 --> 00:11:42,746
But no, seriously,
what is his deal?
255
00:11:44,789 --> 00:11:46,457
Well,
256
00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:48,334
ever since I took
that photo of him,
257
00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:49,793
he's been trying to be a model
258
00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:51,796
and flaunting his
looks harder than a...
259
00:11:52,964 --> 00:11:53,964
angelfish?
260
00:11:56,051 --> 00:11:58,511
That's hilarious!
That's hilarious.
261
00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:00,596
Speaking of models,
262
00:12:00,597 --> 00:12:02,973
I'm actually supposed to be
taking pictures of this shindig.
263
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,684
- You wanna grab us another round?
- Sure.
264
00:12:09,731 --> 00:12:12,733
Hey, everyone! Say "Sid and Hannah!"
265
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:14,443
Yeah.
266
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:16,987
Stop staring at my date.
267
00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,198
You're weirding out Ian.
268
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:19,990
Sorry, I'm just confused.
269
00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:22,618
- I mean, he really came out of nowhere.
- Oh.
270
00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:24,161
Is that confusing to you?
271
00:12:24,162 --> 00:12:27,248
Is the concept of a romantic
interest from the past
272
00:12:27,249 --> 00:12:29,041
suddenly reappearing into
someone's life confusing to you?
273
00:12:29,042 --> 00:12:32,419
- W-what's that supposed to mean?
Did Ellen say something to you?
274
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,338
- You know what? I can't
do this right now, Jesse.
275
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:36,173
Just stop staring at my date.
276
00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:38,342
I'm not gonna let
you ruin this for me.
277
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:40,595
- There she is! The
woman who broke my heart.
278
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,055
Good to see you, Soph.
279
00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:45,224
I'm gonna
let him ruin it for me.
280
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,356
Drew!
281
00:12:52,357 --> 00:12:53,732
What are you doing here?
282
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,359
- Hannah invited me. You
look great, by the way.
283
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,777
I love your shirt made of pogs.
284
00:12:56,778 --> 00:12:59,906
Are those pogs? Whatever they
are, I love them to death.
285
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:02,324
Are you okay?
286
00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:04,118
- Why wouldn't I be okay?
Because you dumped me?
287
00:13:04,119 --> 00:13:06,745
Or because my dad's probably
going to prison till I'm 50?
288
00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:09,081
Or because I got buzzed alone
on oat milk White Russians
289
00:13:09,082 --> 00:13:10,041
in my apartment earlier today,
290
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:12,042
and then just wandered
aimlessly around Midtown
291
00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:13,669
until I saw a day
spa advertising
292
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:15,796
a "Glow-up Teeth Whitening
and Spray Tan Special"
293
00:13:15,797 --> 00:13:18,007
for $49.99 called The
Orange Creamsicle,
294
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:20,302
and said to myself,
"I deserve that."
295
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,888
Did you get a spray tan?
296
00:13:23,889 --> 00:13:26,308
- It's so natural, I hadn't noticed...
- Ah!
297
00:13:26,808 --> 00:13:28,976
Sorry. Sorry, once in a while,
298
00:13:28,977 --> 00:13:31,353
I-I get these shooting pains
from my two front teeth.
299
00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,188
They say it happens to one
in 100 people who go to
300
00:13:33,189 --> 00:13:34,857
New York Upstairs
Whiten and Tan.
301
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:36,609
Guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
302
00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:38,235
- I think I've got an Advil for you...
- N-no.
303
00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:40,571
It's all good. The receptionist
gave me a couple codeines
304
00:13:40,572 --> 00:13:42,365
in exchange for a kiss.
305
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:47,077
- Hey. I'm Ian.
- What's up?
306
00:13:47,078 --> 00:13:50,123
I'm Drew. This is my
ex, Sophie.
307
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,585
Don't waste
this fun energy on us, Drew!
308
00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:56,879
- Go congratulate the happy couple!
- Eh, good point.
309
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,883
Hey, if you need me, just,
uh, follow the light.
310
00:14:00,717 --> 00:14:03,136
Ooh, do I smell gefilte fish?
311
00:14:05,263 --> 00:14:07,348
Hey. Look, I know
you're mad at me
312
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:09,350
or whatever, but it
was really screwed up
313
00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:11,477
that you went and told
Sophie our sister secret.
314
00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:13,687
Also, why are we calling it that?
We're not sisters. I'm a boy.
315
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:16,233
I mean man!
Damn it, I'm a man!
316
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:18,526
I didn't tell Sophie.
317
00:14:19,152 --> 00:14:20,653
- You didn't?
- No!
318
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:22,571
But I always love an
exasperated white guy
319
00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:24,532
screaming at me that he's a man!
320
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:28,078
So thank you for that.
321
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:36,043
How did she even make that?
322
00:14:36,044 --> 00:14:37,503
So,
323
00:14:37,504 --> 00:14:40,297
when exactly did you
and Drew end things?
324
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:42,216
Because it seems kind of fresh.
325
00:14:42,217 --> 00:14:43,717
And
that's when it happened.
326
00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:46,136
♪ Wild West music playing ♪
327
00:14:46,137 --> 00:14:48,097
Both of them were
hurtling towards me
328
00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:49,974
at the exact same time.
329
00:14:49,975 --> 00:14:52,851
Like emotional man asteroids,
330
00:14:52,852 --> 00:14:55,020
determined to blow up my spot.
331
00:14:55,021 --> 00:14:59,024
So I did the only thing I could think
of to keep them from talking to me.
332
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:01,402
Uh, I think it's time for...
333
00:15:01,403 --> 00:15:03,405
Sid and Hannah's first dance!
334
00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:08,200
If everyone could silently stay
exactly where you are right now,
335
00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:11,371
and we're gonna watch
them dance! In silence!
336
00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:14,331
Ellen! Hit it!
337
00:15:14,332 --> 00:15:16,500
Oh, my Bluetooth won't connect.
338
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,003
Doesn't matter.
339
00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,255
'Cause I'm gonna sing it live.
340
00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:24,301
Sid, Hannah, what's your song?
341
00:15:25,427 --> 00:15:26,344
When a Man Loves a Woman.
342
00:15:26,345 --> 00:15:28,513
Oh! Wow. Great.
343
00:15:30,098 --> 00:15:33,143
I'll totally sing that song
that I... that I know. Okay.
344
00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:41,693
♪ When a man loves a woman ♪
345
00:15:42,736 --> 00:15:43,820
Oh God...
346
00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:50,827
♪ He makes love to that woman ♪
347
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:52,996
♪ But only if she wants to ♪
348
00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:56,415
♪ But who wouldn't want to? ♪
349
00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:59,668
♪ I mean, look at that guy ♪
350
00:16:00,921 --> 00:16:02,880
- What is happening?
- I don't know.
351
00:16:02,881 --> 00:16:05,174
♪ When a man loves ♪
352
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,593
♪ A woman ♪
353
00:16:07,594 --> 00:16:11,264
♪ Can't keep his mind
on nothing else ♪
354
00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:13,974
♪ He'd trade the world ♪
355
00:16:13,975 --> 00:16:15,517
♪ For the good
thing he's found ♪
356
00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:18,103
Take it away, Drew!
357
00:16:18,104 --> 00:16:20,648
♪ If she's bad he
won't see it... ♪
358
00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:22,483
Ow! Oh!
359
00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:25,361
Shooting pain. There's
a shooting pain.
360
00:16:25,362 --> 00:16:27,989
- Okay! I am shutting
this down! Thank you.
361
00:16:31,326 --> 00:16:33,661
- Hey, Sophie, I really need to talk to you.
- No! I am on my way out.
362
00:16:33,662 --> 00:16:35,496
- I just need to grab Ian...
- Hey, quick Q. Was I supposed
363
00:16:35,497 --> 00:16:37,873
to shower off with this spray tan?
'Cause I think I'm still developing...
364
00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:40,251
- What did you mean when you said
that thing about romantic interests
365
00:16:40,252 --> 00:16:42,086
- reappearing from the past?
- I didn't mean anything.
366
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:43,087
Yes, you did.
367
00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:45,422
- Oh, my skin smells like poison.
Here, Sophie, smell my arm.
368
00:16:45,423 --> 00:16:47,550
- No! Oh, you guys,
just excuse me...
369
00:16:47,551 --> 00:16:49,093
- Will you please just
tell me what you meant?!
370
00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:52,305
- I saw you kissing Meredith
outside of your apartment!
371
00:16:54,391 --> 00:16:55,850
You kissed Meredith?
372
00:16:59,688 --> 00:17:01,605
What... How did you see that?
373
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,108
'Cause I came back.
374
00:17:05,026 --> 00:17:06,695
I was coming back to...
375
00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:09,072
Oh.
376
00:17:10,532 --> 00:17:11,825
Yeah.
377
00:17:13,368 --> 00:17:14,577
One more Q.
378
00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:16,370
Um...
379
00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:20,333
Did you and Jesse get together in
the 24 hours since you dumped me?
380
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:22,711
Yes.
381
00:17:23,545 --> 00:17:25,046
Drew, yes. I'm...
382
00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:27,591
I'm so sorry.
383
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,676
- I think if I wasn't on
all these painkillers,
384
00:17:30,677 --> 00:17:33,096
I just might be a skosh upset.
385
00:17:34,306 --> 00:17:36,849
- Hey. Is everything alright?
- No.
386
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:39,185
Ian, it's actually not.
387
00:17:41,229 --> 00:17:43,063
I gotta get some air.
388
00:17:43,064 --> 00:17:45,065
And yes, Drew, you were
supposed to shower it off,
389
00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:47,068
and don't kiss
people for codeine!
390
00:17:49,821 --> 00:17:51,614
Someone's jealous.
391
00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:05,503
♪ Ooh, you went searching ♪
392
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:11,384
- Hey.
- Hey.
393
00:18:14,179 --> 00:18:16,305
- Sophie, it sounds like
things have been messy for you
394
00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:17,807
while I've been gone.
395
00:18:18,642 --> 00:18:19,643
Yeah.
396
00:18:21,228 --> 00:18:23,230
- About that...
- It doesn't matter.
397
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:26,565
Things have been
messy for me, too.
398
00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:29,235
A whale exploded on me.
399
00:18:30,612 --> 00:18:32,571
What matters is
we're both here now,
400
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:35,075
and I still wanna
give it a shot.
401
00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,035
You do?
402
00:18:38,495 --> 00:18:39,495
I do.
403
00:18:39,496 --> 00:18:41,330
♪ It can't be that bad ♪
404
00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:43,958
- You're really going
on tour with Meredith?
405
00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:45,210
I think so, yeah.
406
00:18:46,294 --> 00:18:49,004
Sid, I was ready to spend
the rest of my life with her.
407
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:51,507
Those feelings didn't go away just
'cause she said no to my proposal.
408
00:18:51,508 --> 00:18:53,051
Okay, what about Sophie?
409
00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:57,054
Sophie's amazing,
but she's also complicated.
410
00:18:57,055 --> 00:18:59,224
The moment we got together,
she blew it all up.
411
00:18:59,891 --> 00:19:01,893
All I've ever wanted...
412
00:19:02,769 --> 00:19:04,271
was to find love.
413
00:19:05,855 --> 00:19:08,191
And I think, maybe...
414
00:19:08,692 --> 00:19:10,986
it was just right
in front of me,
415
00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:13,362
and I ran from it.
416
00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:17,951
And until I figure
out why I did that...
417
00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:22,914
I'm just gonna keep ruining
things that could be great.
418
00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:25,709
- Wait, so you were in love
with one of those guys?
419
00:19:26,459 --> 00:19:27,460
The orange guy?
420
00:19:28,295 --> 00:19:29,546
No.
421
00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:31,130
The angelfish.
422
00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:35,260
- Or maybe she's not that complicated.
She probably just wasn't that into me.
423
00:19:37,053 --> 00:19:39,013
Okay, so it's not a good time.
424
00:19:39,014 --> 00:19:41,391
But as a wise woman
once said to me,
425
00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:43,475
maybe someday.
426
00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:46,770
♪ I'm not the kind of
girl you take home ♪
427
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:48,189
Good night, Sophie.
428
00:19:49,149 --> 00:19:50,774
Good night, Ian.
429
00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:52,193
♪ If it makes you happy ♪
430
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:56,323
♪ It can't be that bad ♪
431
00:19:57,490 --> 00:20:00,452
♪ If it makes you happy ♪
432
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:05,749
♪ Then why the hell
are you so sad? ♪
433
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,834
- Alright, if you really wanna
see where things go with Meredith,
434
00:20:08,835 --> 00:20:11,003
- I'll get my head around it.
- Thank you.
435
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:12,922
Am I supposed to find a
subletter during your tour...
436
00:20:12,923 --> 00:20:14,340
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's just for a month.
437
00:20:14,341 --> 00:20:16,342
Wait. You're only
leaving for a month?
438
00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,886
- Yeah.
- I thought it was like a year!
439
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,471
Oh, my God...
440
00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,057
You must have thought I
was being so dramatic!
441
00:20:23,058 --> 00:20:27,020
I can't believe you're
abandoning me for a whole month! No!
442
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:31,899
Who's ready for a photo tribute
443
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,235
to Sid and Hannah's love!
444
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,201
♪ It's a wonderful world... ♪
445
00:20:42,202 --> 00:20:44,328
Oh, wow. This is actually good.
446
00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:47,832
- Yes. This is gonna be a
good memory from our wedding.
447
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:52,504
Uh, what is this?
448
00:20:55,048 --> 00:20:57,007
This appears to be a sex tape
449
00:20:57,008 --> 00:20:58,717
made in your office
earlier tonight
450
00:20:58,718 --> 00:21:02,012
that they must have accidentally
edited it into our montage.
451
00:21:02,013 --> 00:21:05,474
Or... did we edit
it in on purpose
452
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:08,018
as a special gift to spice
up your wedding night?
453
00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,437
- Charlie, no!
- Yeah, no, it was actually a mistake.
454
00:21:10,438 --> 00:21:13,232
- Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Oh, my God, is that my favorite jacket?
455
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:14,858
That is so my favorite jacket.
You guys are ruining my life!
456
00:21:14,859 --> 00:21:16,861
- Turn it off!
- I'm trying...
457
00:21:20,782 --> 00:21:23,701
- So, wait, are you two
back together again?
458
00:21:23,702 --> 00:21:25,744
No. That was just a last hurrah
459
00:21:25,745 --> 00:21:28,706
that we decided to commit
to video as a memento.
460
00:21:28,707 --> 00:21:31,750
But, starting now,
we are officially...
461
00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:34,545
strictly platonic friends.
462
00:21:34,546 --> 00:21:36,548
- Hug it out?
- Keep that thing away from me.
463
00:21:41,136 --> 00:21:43,679
- Hey... Where you been?
- Hey.
464
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,932
Watching Ian walk
out of my life again.
465
00:21:46,933 --> 00:21:49,602
Yeah. Guess I'm gonna be
waiting a little longer
466
00:21:49,603 --> 00:21:51,145
to find what you guys have.
467
00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:52,897
Well, I hope you find a guy
468
00:21:52,898 --> 00:21:55,274
who can throw you a better
wedding party than I just did.
469
00:21:55,275 --> 00:21:58,527
Wait. Are you acting
so crazy tonight
470
00:21:58,528 --> 00:22:00,238
because you're worried about me?
471
00:22:01,031 --> 00:22:04,658
- Yeah. Hannah, I wanted you to
have the greatest night ever.
472
00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:07,077
You know, it was my first
duty as your husband,
473
00:22:07,078 --> 00:22:09,080
and I tanked it.
474
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,834
Okay, that's it. Everybody up!
475
00:22:13,835 --> 00:22:15,086
Why?
476
00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:17,171
Everybody line up!
477
00:22:17,172 --> 00:22:20,841
- Oh, my God! Is this happening?
- Oh... I think it is.
478
00:22:20,842 --> 00:22:22,760
Yeah! We're sliding!
479
00:22:22,761 --> 00:22:25,679
Let's give these two nerds
a wedding night to remember!
480
00:22:35,232 --> 00:22:38,193
Hey. I'm sorry about everything.
481
00:22:39,277 --> 00:22:41,279
Yeah. Me, too.
482
00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:43,906
♪ You can't see it ♪
483
00:22:43,907 --> 00:22:47,034
Well, I blew it with
three guys in 48 hours,
484
00:22:47,035 --> 00:22:49,536
and now I'm doing
the Electric Slide.
485
00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:51,163
I think this is my rock bottom.
486
00:22:51,164 --> 00:22:52,957
I was wrong.
487
00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:55,668
Rock bottom wouldn't come
until later that year.
488
00:22:55,669 --> 00:22:57,378
Mom, please call me back!
489
00:22:57,379 --> 00:22:59,130
I think I'm dating my dad.
490
00:23:00,215 --> 00:23:01,633
Oh!
491
00:23:03,301 --> 00:23:05,971
Oh, no! No, no, no!
492
00:23:06,972 --> 00:23:08,348
Oh God...
493
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:18,525
Dude...
494
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:22,736
Wait, who's that?
495
00:23:22,737 --> 00:23:24,114
We'll get there soon enough.
496
00:23:25,407 --> 00:23:27,575
- If this is rock bottom,
it looks good on you
497
00:23:27,576 --> 00:23:30,452
- 'cause my girl can slide.
- Woo!
498
00:23:30,453 --> 00:23:33,330
♪ I'll teach you
the electric slide ♪
499
00:23:33,331 --> 00:23:34,749
Woo!
500
00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:44,258
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
501
00:23:44,259 --> 00:23:46,302
♪ You can't do without it ♪
502
00:23:46,303 --> 00:23:48,721
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
503
00:23:52,017 --> 00:23:53,475
♪ She sure got the boogie ♪
504
00:23:53,476 --> 00:23:55,436
♪ Don't wanna lose it ♪
505
00:23:55,437 --> 00:23:57,605
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
506
00:23:57,606 --> 00:23:59,773
♪ But you can't choose it ♪
507
00:23:59,774 --> 00:24:02,026
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
508
00:24:02,027 --> 00:24:04,529
♪ But you know it's there ♪
509
00:24:05,572 --> 00:24:09,408
♪ Here, there, and everywhere ♪
38344
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof