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1
00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:11,305
OKAY.
2
00:00:11,374 --> 00:00:14,875
FOR THIS SCENE, WE GOT TO FOCUS
ON EMOTION, ON MOTIVATION.
3
00:00:14,944 --> 00:00:15,843
MELISSA, YOU LOOK GREAT.
4
00:00:15,911 --> 00:00:16,744
THANK YOU.
5
00:00:16,813 --> 00:00:17,411
BUT YOU DON'T FEEL GREAT.
6
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:18,945
I DON'T?
7
00:00:19,013 --> 00:00:21,314
NO, YOU'RE RITA AND RITA'S
TORMENTED, YOU KNOW.
8
00:00:21,382 --> 00:00:22,048
TORMENTED?
9
00:00:22,116 --> 00:00:22,916
YEAH.
10
00:00:22,984 --> 00:00:23,883
BRENDON, HOW DO I LOOK?
11
00:00:23,952 --> 00:00:24,884
YOU LOOK, UH, FORLORN, JASON.
12
00:00:24,953 --> 00:00:25,619
DO I LOOK GREAT?
13
00:00:25,687 --> 00:00:26,687
NO... NO.
14
00:00:26,721 --> 00:00:27,953
YOU LOOK FORLORN.
15
00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:29,354
I DON'T FEEL FORLORN.
16
00:00:29,423 --> 00:00:30,700
JASON, YOU'RE PLAYING
THE PART OF RANDY.
17
00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:32,658
AND RANDY IS FORLORN.
18
00:00:32,726 --> 00:00:33,325
BRENDON?
19
00:00:33,394 --> 00:00:34,226
YEAH?
20
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,493
UM, IS THIS FORLORN?
21
00:00:36,963 --> 00:00:37,973
NO, ACTUALLY NO——FORLORN...
22
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:38,997
HOW ABOUT THIS...
23
00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:42,345
FORLORN IS SAD, JASON,
YOU'VE GOT TO...
24
00:00:42,369 --> 00:00:43,400
HOW ABOUT THIS?
25
00:00:50,741 --> 00:00:52,086
MELISSA.
YEAH?
26
00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:52,775
HOW DO YOU SPELL
"SOPHISTICATED"?
27
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,144
UM...
28
00:00:55,213 --> 00:00:57,580
OKAY, SOPHISTICATED:
S—O—F...
29
00:00:57,648 --> 00:00:58,758
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
30
00:00:58,782 --> 00:00:59,581
SLOW DOWN.
31
00:00:59,649 --> 00:01:00,848
TAKE IT ONE LETTER AT A TIME.
32
00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:02,184
AS YOU WERE SAYING.
33
00:01:02,252 --> 00:01:03,718
SOPHISTICATED.
S—O—F...
34
00:01:03,787 --> 00:01:05,554
WAIT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
35
00:01:05,622 --> 00:01:07,499
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO
THAT SPELLING BEE CRAP.
36
00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:09,368
IT'S JUST THE WAY
THAT I KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT.
37
00:01:09,392 --> 00:01:12,159
BUT IN REALITY YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SAY WORDS BEFORE YOU SAY THEM.
38
00:01:12,228 --> 00:01:14,338
LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO SAY SAY
EVERY EVERY WORD WORD
39
00:01:14,362 --> 00:01:15,495
TWICE TWICE.
40
00:01:15,564 --> 00:01:16,229
ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT?
41
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:17,930
OKAY.
42
00:01:17,999 --> 00:01:18,931
SOPHISTICATED.
43
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,010
YOU DID IT AGAIN, MELISSA.
44
00:01:20,034 --> 00:01:21,134
I'M SORRY.
45
00:01:21,203 --> 00:01:22,767
JUST SPELL THE WORD.
46
00:01:22,836 --> 00:01:24,836
UM... I CAN'T DO IT
WITHOUT SAYING IT.
47
00:01:24,871 --> 00:01:25,637
COME ON.
48
00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:27,239
S—O—F...
49
00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:28,073
ALL RIGHT, S—O—F...
50
00:01:28,142 --> 00:01:30,541
I—S...
51
00:01:30,610 --> 00:01:33,578
T—I...
T...
52
00:01:33,646 --> 00:01:34,044
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
53
00:01:34,114 --> 00:01:35,679
E...
54
00:01:35,748 --> 00:01:38,048
SOPHISTICATED—— D—C...
55
00:01:38,118 --> 00:01:38,815
I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER.
56
00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:39,782
D...
57
00:01:39,851 --> 00:01:41,218
C—D.
58
00:01:41,286 --> 00:01:42,685
AND THEN ANOTHER "D" AT THE END.
59
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,121
TWO Ds AT THE END?
60
00:01:44,189 --> 00:01:45,021
DOES IT LOOK RIGHT WITH TWO Ds?
61
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:45,555
NO.
62
00:01:45,624 --> 00:01:46,955
ONE "D."
63
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:47,623
DO YOU HAVE AN ERASER?
64
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:48,790
YEAH.
65
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,292
WELL, GIVE IT TO ME.
66
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:53,095
THE ERASER SMELLS
LIKE STRAWBERRIES.
67
00:01:53,164 --> 00:01:54,574
WELL, IT DOESN'T TASTE
LIKE STRAWBERRIES.
68
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:56,731
C—D.
69
00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:58,266
WOW, THAT'S A LONG WORD.
70
00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,400
I KNOW.
71
00:01:59,469 --> 00:02:00,968
DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
72
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:01,968
READ THIS AND TELL ME
WHAT YOU THINK.
73
00:02:02,037 --> 00:02:03,103
WHAT IS IT?
74
00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:03,870
IT'S A PAPER I WROTE—...
75
00:02:03,939 --> 00:02:04,471
AN ARTICLE.
76
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:05,038
WOW.
77
00:02:05,107 --> 00:02:06,507
YEAH.
78
00:02:06,575 --> 00:02:07,885
I WRITE FOR
A NEWSPAPER OCCASIONALLY.
79
00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:09,343
THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
80
00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:10,754
YEAH——
WELL, JUST READ IT, PLEASE.
81
00:02:10,778 --> 00:02:11,877
OKAY.
82
00:02:11,946 --> 00:02:15,948
"HANDSOME, SOFIS... HANDSOME..."
83
00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,382
"SOPHISTICATED," MELISSA.
84
00:02:17,452 --> 00:02:20,585
OH, RIGHT.
"HANDSOME, SOFISTICATED MAN.
85
00:02:20,654 --> 00:02:22,921
ENJOYS FINE WINE
AND LOTS OF IT..."
86
00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:24,288
YEAH, I LOVE THAT.
87
00:02:24,357 --> 00:02:26,590
"SEEKS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
FOR LONG WALKS."
88
00:02:26,659 --> 00:02:28,236
THAT'S REALLY SWEET,
COACH McGUIRK.
89
00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:29,504
I CHANGED IT
FROM "ENJOYS ALCOHOL."
90
00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,595
IT SOUNDS NICER.
91
00:02:31,664 --> 00:02:34,363
I HAVE TO BOIL DOWN MY WHOLE
PERSONALITY IN ONE HUGE LIE.
92
00:02:34,432 --> 00:02:35,565
YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
93
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,901
WELL, THANKS.
94
00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:40,903
JASON, STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE.
95
00:02:40,972 --> 00:02:42,236
MELISSA, I'M NOT PICKING IT.
96
00:02:42,305 --> 00:02:43,805
I'M PULLING THINGS OUT OF IT.
97
00:02:43,874 --> 00:02:45,084
OH, WHA...
WE'RE SET FOR SATURDAY, RIGHT?
98
00:02:45,108 --> 00:02:46,475
HI, BRENDON.
99
00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:48,120
HI, JASON.
WE'RE SET FOR SATURDAY, GUYS?
100
00:02:48,144 --> 00:02:49,243
SATURDAY?
101
00:02:49,312 --> 00:02:50,110
Brendon:
YEAH.
102
00:02:50,179 --> 00:02:51,812
UM, STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE.
103
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,013
NO, BECAUSE THE, THE...
104
00:02:53,082 --> 00:02:54,960
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
SO WE'RE ON FOR SATURDAY?
105
00:02:54,984 --> 00:02:58,284
BRENDON, I THINK I'M AVAILABLE
MAYBE EVEN NEXT SATURDAY.
106
00:02:58,353 --> 00:03:00,297
OKAY, YOU KNOW, I'M ONLY
ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN, UH...
107
00:03:00,321 --> 00:03:02,655
ACTUALLY, BRENDON,
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
108
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,764
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, UH,
YOU CAN'T MAKE IT?
109
00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,970
WELL, I'M GOING TO VISIT MY
GRANDFATHER IN THE NURSING HOME.
110
00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,126
DO YOU HAVE TO GO?
111
00:03:08,195 --> 00:03:09,862
NO, BUT I LIKE VISITING HIM.
112
00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:11,229
I MEAN, HE'S REALLY OLD,
113
00:03:11,298 --> 00:03:12,898
BUT HE'S REALLY NICE.
114
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,977
FOR YOUR OWN SAKE,
DO NOT GO BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
115
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:17,434
IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR YOU
TO BE HANGING AROUND
116
00:03:17,504 --> 00:03:19,682
WITH OLD PEOPLE BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CATCH
117
00:03:19,706 --> 00:03:22,338
AN OLD PERSON'S DISEASE AND, UH,
SUDDENLY BECOME OLD.
118
00:03:22,407 --> 00:03:23,673
BRENDON, THAT'S A MYTH.
119
00:03:23,742 --> 00:03:24,886
YOU'D LIKE MY GRANDFATHER.
120
00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,275
HE'S A GREAT STORYTELLER.
121
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,644
YOU KNOW TITANIC?
122
00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:28,723
YEAH, OF COURSE I DO.
123
00:03:28,747 --> 00:03:30,345
HE SAW THE ORIGINAL MOVIE.
124
00:03:30,414 --> 00:03:32,447
WHOA, WELL, THAT'S, UH...
125
00:03:32,517 --> 00:03:35,417
UH, BRENDON, MY GRANDFATHER
CALLS ME DEBBIE
126
00:03:35,486 --> 00:03:38,019
AND TRIES TO KISS ME.
127
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:42,189
NO, MY GRANDFATHER WAS, UM,
A SURGEON AND LOST A,
128
00:03:42,258 --> 00:03:44,403
MALPRACTICE SUIT BECAUSE HE CUT
OFF THE WRONG LEG.
129
00:03:44,427 --> 00:03:45,759
THAT'S AWFUL!
130
00:03:45,828 --> 00:03:47,494
IT'S... IT'S TERRIBLE, JASON.
131
00:03:47,563 --> 00:03:49,273
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
THE PATIENT SAID
132
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,964
BUT HE WAS A LITTLE MORE ANGRY.
133
00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:52,811
IS YOUR GRANDFATHER
STILL A SURGEON?
134
00:03:52,835 --> 00:03:56,002
NO. THAT'S THE SHORT STORY.
135
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,351
THE LONG STORY IS THAT NOW
HE IS A VERY SUCCESSFUL,
136
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,840
UH, MALPRACTICE LAWYER.
137
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,344
I'LL GET IT. I'LL GET IT.
138
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,078
SMALL RESIDENCE.
139
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,013
BRENDON?
140
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,179
UH, WHO'S CALLING, PLEASE?
141
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:09,780
IT'S ME.
142
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:10,414
HEY.
143
00:04:10,482 --> 00:04:11,248
HEY.
144
00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:12,149
KEVIN.
145
00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:13,751
NO. IT'S MELISSA.
146
00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:14,952
OH.
147
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:15,553
Melissa:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
148
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:16,853
TALKING TO YOU.
149
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:19,133
I HAVE AN IDEA.
ACTUALLY A PROPOSITION.
150
00:04:19,157 --> 00:04:20,501
Brendon:
I'M LISTENING.
151
00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:22,269
DO YOU WANT TO DO A DOCUMENTARY
ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER?
152
00:04:22,293 --> 00:04:23,492
I'M, UH, NOT LISTENING, NO.
153
00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:25,027
WHY?
154
00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:25,661
MELISSA, I DON'T
DO DOCUMENTARIES.
155
00:04:25,729 --> 00:04:26,494
HOW COME?
156
00:04:26,564 --> 00:04:27,062
Brendon:
BECAUSE I DON'T.
157
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:28,931
OH, I SEE.
158
00:04:28,999 --> 00:04:30,076
YOU DON'T DO THEM BECAUSE
THEY'RE TOO HARD.
159
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,667
WHAT? NO.
160
00:04:31,735 --> 00:04:33,512
OH, MAYBE BECAUSE
A DOCUMENTARY'S
161
00:04:33,536 --> 00:04:35,603
NOT LIKE A REGULAR MOVIE.
162
00:04:35,672 --> 00:04:37,416
MELISSA, I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN A DOCUMENTARY
163
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,773
AND A REGULAR MOVIE, OKAY, SO.
164
00:04:38,841 --> 00:04:39,607
YEAH?
165
00:04:39,676 --> 00:04:40,941
YEAH, I DO.
166
00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:42,086
AND I HAVE THE VERSATILITY
TO DO BOTH.
167
00:04:42,110 --> 00:04:43,944
YEAH?
168
00:04:44,012 --> 00:04:47,380
YEAH, AND I WILL DO YOUR
DOCUMENTARY OF YOUR GRANDFATHER.
169
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:48,992
I WILL, BECAUSE AS A DIRECTOR
I DON'T WANT
170
00:04:49,016 --> 00:04:50,215
TO BE PIGEON—TOED, ALL RIGHT?
171
00:04:50,284 --> 00:04:51,116
YOU MEAN PIGEONHOLED?
172
00:04:51,185 --> 00:04:51,984
YES.
173
00:04:52,053 --> 00:04:52,985
SO YOU'LL DO IT?
174
00:04:53,054 --> 00:04:54,954
YEAH, OF COURSE I WILL.
175
00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,599
OKAY, GOOD, BECAUSE
HERE'S THE BEST PART.
176
00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:58,300
MY FATHER SAID
THAT HE'LL PAY YOU
177
00:04:58,324 --> 00:05:00,202
BECAUSE HE WANTS
TO SHOW THE VIDEO
178
00:05:00,226 --> 00:05:02,271
AT MY GRANDFATHER'S 75th
BIRTHDAY PARTY NEXT WEEK.
179
00:05:02,295 --> 00:05:03,094
PAY? AS IN MONEY?
180
00:05:03,162 --> 00:05:04,162
MM—HMM.
181
00:05:04,197 --> 00:05:05,306
FOR DOING WHAT I LOVE TO DO?
182
00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:06,597
THROW A NUMBER OUT, YOU KNOW.
183
00:05:06,665 --> 00:05:07,530
TEN.
184
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,364
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
185
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,968
OKAY. I GOT TO GO.
186
00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:11,802
I ALREADY HUNG UP.
187
00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:13,936
OH. BRENDON?
188
00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:14,870
♪ BA BOO BOO ♪
189
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:18,373
WE'RE SORRY, THE CALL YOU...
190
00:05:21,544 --> 00:05:22,777
♪ A DOODY DOODY DEE... ♪
191
00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,557
BRENDON, THAT'S ENOUGH
OF THE SONG!
192
00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,748
MOM! HEY, I'M BEING CREATIVE.
193
00:05:26,817 --> 00:05:27,982
♪ THE LIGHTS ARE RED... ♪
194
00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:29,294
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
IT'S A CAR, NOT A COUCH.
195
00:05:29,318 --> 00:05:30,785
COME ON, YOU OLD FART.
196
00:05:30,853 --> 00:05:33,353
OH, MOM! YEAH!
197
00:05:33,422 --> 00:05:34,800
COME ON, GRAMPS,
LET'S GO, MOVE IT!
198
00:05:34,824 --> 00:05:37,256
YEAH, OLD PEOPLE!
199
00:05:37,325 --> 00:05:37,824
HE'S SLEEPING.
200
00:05:37,893 --> 00:05:38,525
SLEEPING!
201
00:05:38,593 --> 00:05:39,225
MOVE IT!
202
00:05:39,294 --> 00:05:40,326
MOVE IT!
203
00:05:40,395 --> 00:05:40,827
THANK YOU.
204
00:05:40,896 --> 00:05:42,028
THANK YOU.
205
00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:47,532
OH, MOM, WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN
ON OUR CAR RIDES.
206
00:05:47,601 --> 00:05:48,399
DON'T WE?
207
00:05:48,468 --> 00:05:50,969
MOM, MOM, MOM...
208
00:05:52,005 --> 00:05:52,837
HEY, IS THIS MOZART?
209
00:05:52,905 --> 00:05:54,271
I THINK VIVALDI.
210
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:55,340
NO, NO, BEHIND YOU.
211
00:05:56,643 --> 00:05:58,175
DAD, NOT TOO MUCH BUTTER.
212
00:05:58,244 --> 00:05:59,754
YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH
YOUR CHOLESTEROL.
213
00:05:59,778 --> 00:06:01,244
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
YOU HAVE IT.
214
00:06:01,312 --> 00:06:02,879
SO, DAD, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
215
00:06:02,948 --> 00:06:03,579
I DIDN'T TELL YOU?
216
00:06:03,649 --> 00:06:05,081
I SOLD TWO HOUSES.
217
00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,516
THAT'S GREAT!
218
00:06:06,584 --> 00:06:07,595
YEAH, AND ONE OF THEM
WAS FOR SALE.
219
00:06:07,619 --> 00:06:08,517
DAD.
220
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:09,685
HOW WAS SCHOOL?
221
00:06:09,754 --> 00:06:11,620
I GOT A STAR ON MY PAPER.
222
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:13,856
WELL, YOU CAN GET IT OFF.
DON'T WORRY.
223
00:06:13,924 --> 00:06:14,623
NO, THAT—THAT'S GOOD.
224
00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:15,323
DID YOU SELL A HOUSE?
225
00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:15,857
NO.
226
00:06:15,925 --> 00:06:16,925
LOSER!
227
00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:20,272
NO... BUT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU,
MELISSA.
228
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:20,695
YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?
229
00:06:20,764 --> 00:06:22,429
YES.
230
00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:24,931
HEY, I'M EXCITED ABOUT
THIS VIDEO RECORDING PROJECT.
231
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,003
GRANDPA IS REALLY GOING
TO LOVE IT OR HATE IT.
232
00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:31,771
HE'S GOING TO REACT.
233
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:32,916
TWO KIDS' CHEESEBURGERS
AND ONE ADULT.
234
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:33,572
TWO SMALL FRIES.
235
00:06:33,641 --> 00:06:35,708
YES, MOTHER.
236
00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:36,275
NO, FORGET THE SMALL FRIES...
JUST ONE LARGE.
237
00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:37,009
BUT MOM...
238
00:06:37,078 --> 00:06:38,711
TWO SMALL ORANGE SODAS.
239
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:41,112
MOM, MOM, I WANT MY OWN FRIES.
240
00:06:41,181 --> 00:06:41,612
NO, WE'RE GOING TO SPLIT IT.
241
00:06:41,682 --> 00:06:43,014
NO, MOM...
242
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,293
TWO SMALL ORANGE SODAS
AND A LARGE...
243
00:06:44,317 --> 00:06:45,416
MOM, I WANT MY OWN!
244
00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:46,785
YOU NEVER FINISH YOUR FRIES—...
245
00:06:46,853 --> 00:06:49,053
IT'S A WASTE OF FOOD AND MONEY.
246
00:06:49,121 --> 00:06:49,920
BUT SOMEDAY I'M GOING
TO FINISH THEM, MOM
247
00:06:49,989 --> 00:06:50,688
AND TODAY COULD BE THAT DAY.
248
00:06:50,756 --> 00:06:51,889
DON'T YOU FEEL IT, MOM?
249
00:06:51,957 --> 00:06:53,290
COME ON!
250
00:06:53,359 --> 00:06:54,636
Man:
Come on!
251
00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:56,637
YEAH, MOM, SEE, MOM,
EVEN THE SPEAKER GUY SAYS
252
00:06:56,661 --> 00:06:57,672
I SHOULD HAVE MY OWN FRIES
AND HE DOES THIS FOR A LIVING.
253
00:06:57,696 --> 00:06:58,561
IT'S TRUE.
254
00:06:58,630 --> 00:06:59,061
MOM, HE DEALS WITH FRIES
ALL DAY!
255
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:00,596
NO!
256
00:07:00,665 --> 00:07:02,442
HOW ABOUT I HANDLE MY KIDS,
OKAY, MISTER?
257
00:07:02,466 --> 00:07:04,032
Just trying to help.
258
00:07:04,101 --> 00:07:04,566
DO YOU HAVE MONEY ON YOU?
259
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:06,134
NO.
260
00:07:06,203 --> 00:07:08,737
OKAY, LOOK——
YOU DISTRACT THE WAITER.
261
00:07:08,806 --> 00:07:10,150
I'M GOING TO SLIP OUT THE BACK
AND START THE CAR, OKAY?
262
00:07:10,174 --> 00:07:11,638
DAD.
263
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:12,306
OKAY, YOU DISTRACT THE WAITER;
I'LL START THE CAR.
264
00:07:12,374 --> 00:07:13,808
DAD.
265
00:07:13,876 --> 00:07:15,520
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET THE CAR.
266
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:16,944
LET'S JUST BOTH DISTRACT
THE WAITER.
267
00:07:18,247 --> 00:07:19,423
HOW'S YOUR CHEESEBURGER,
BRENDON?
268
00:07:19,447 --> 00:07:20,925
IS THAT WHAT THIS
IS SUPPOSED TO BE?
269
00:07:20,949 --> 00:07:22,326
FUNNY, HOW ARE THOSE FRIES
COMING ALONG?
270
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,828
UM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
271
00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:24,962
I THINK I STILL SEE
SOME FRIES THERE.
272
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,952
WELL, I, UH, CAN'T FINISH THEM.
273
00:07:27,021 --> 00:07:27,920
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
274
00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:28,787
WHY CAN'T YOU FINISH THEM?
275
00:07:28,856 --> 00:07:29,354
BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY.
276
00:07:29,423 --> 00:07:30,289
OH, DARN.
277
00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:31,656
TOO MANY FRIES, HUH?
278
00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:32,557
YOU JUST CAN'T FINISH
YOUR OWN FRIES.
279
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,259
MOM...
280
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,627
AND I FORGOT TO BRING
MY BAG OF I—TOLD—YOU—SOs.
281
00:07:36,696 --> 00:07:38,896
YOU GOT A NEW BAG
OF I—TOLD—YOU— SOs?
282
00:07:38,965 --> 00:07:41,165
YEAH, REMIND ME TO GIVE YOU
A GREAT, BIG, FAT BAG
283
00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:43,111
OF I—TOLD—YOU—SOs WHEN WE GET
HOME, OKAY, BRENDON?
284
00:07:43,135 --> 00:07:44,879
MOM, WE HARDLY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
FOR FRIES AND YOU'RE,
285
00:07:44,903 --> 00:07:45,836
LIKE, SPENDING MONEY ON BAGS
OF I—TOLD—YOU—SOs?
286
00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:50,573
WATCH IT, BRENDON.
287
00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:53,175
"WHERE WERE YOU
WHEN KENNEDY WAS SHOT?"
288
00:07:53,244 --> 00:07:55,878
IT BECAME AMERICA'S QUESTION.
289
00:07:55,947 --> 00:07:57,980
I, MYSELF, I WAS AT WORK.
290
00:07:59,316 --> 00:08:02,050
AL STEELE CAME INTO MY OFFICE.
291
00:08:02,118 --> 00:08:05,119
HE SAID TO ME,
"KENNEDY HAS BEEN SHOT."
292
00:08:05,188 --> 00:08:07,888
AND I SAW A TEAR ROLLING
DOWN HIS CHEEK.
293
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:08,957
HE WAS CRYING.
294
00:08:08,991 --> 00:08:09,991
SO...
295
00:08:10,526 --> 00:08:11,692
THIS SUCKS.
296
00:08:11,761 --> 00:08:13,661
THIS IS SO BORING.
297
00:08:13,729 --> 00:08:15,306
MELISSA'S DAD IS GOING
TO ASK FOR HIS MONEY BACK
298
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:18,364
AND I'VE ALREADY SPENT IT
AND HE HASN'T EVEN PAID ME YET.
299
00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:19,833
YOU KNOW, IT'S VERY EDUCATIONAL.
300
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:22,168
SO'S A BOOK!
301
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:25,103
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T HAVE MY NAME
ATTACHED TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
302
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,783
BRENDON, IT'S WHAT
MELISSA WANTED.
303
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,318
I BET I CAN MAKE IT BETTER,
JASON.
304
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,075
I CAN SAVE THIS PUPPY.
305
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,809
GRANDPA NED, GRAM...
306
00:08:34,613 --> 00:08:36,080
HEY, HEY, CAPTAIN.
307
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:37,860
HEY, WAKE UP.
HOW ARE YOU?
308
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,182
OKAY?
309
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:40,049
TO THE LEFT——
OVER TO THE LEFT.
310
00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:40,649
OKAY.
311
00:08:40,718 --> 00:08:42,352
NICE.
312
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:45,588
TELL US SOME STORIES
ABOUT THE WAR AND STUFF.
313
00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:48,223
OH, YES, WORLD WAR II.
314
00:08:48,292 --> 00:08:50,225
WE CALLED IT W—W—II.
315
00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:51,437
WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU USED
TO LISTEN
316
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:52,661
TO THE RADIO ALL THE TIME?
317
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,528
TELL ME ABOUT THAT.
318
00:08:54,597 --> 00:08:58,032
OH, WE USED TO ACTUALLY LISTEN
TO THE RADIO.
319
00:08:58,835 --> 00:08:59,835
TELL ME ABOUT THAT.
320
00:09:04,472 --> 00:09:06,639
OKAY, EVERYBODY,
HERE IS THE GUEST OF HONOR.
321
00:09:06,709 --> 00:09:08,241
EVERYBODY SING.
322
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,342
♪ HAPPY... ♪
323
00:09:11,112 --> 00:09:12,678
DAD...
324
00:09:12,747 --> 00:09:13,645
HEY, DAD, WAKE UP.
325
00:09:13,715 --> 00:09:15,014
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH...
326
00:09:15,083 --> 00:09:15,881
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH THE VIDEO
NOW.
327
00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:17,683
HUH? OH, YES.
328
00:09:17,752 --> 00:09:18,549
WHERE IS THAT?
329
00:09:18,618 --> 00:09:20,185
BRENDON, WILL YOU DO THE HONORS?
330
00:09:20,253 --> 00:09:23,755
YEAH, EVERYONE PLEASE FOCUS
YOUR ATTENTION TO THE TV.
331
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:24,989
THANK YOU.
332
00:09:25,058 --> 00:09:27,791
IT WAS 1938.
333
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,294
WE WERE LISTENING TO THE RADIO.
334
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:34,763
WE ALWAYS LISTENED TO THE RADIO,
BECAUSE TV WASN'T BORN YET.
335
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:36,399
I WAS...
336
00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,034
THE RADIO.
337
00:09:38,102 --> 00:09:41,070
IN THE 1930s, IT WAS THE SIZE
OF A REFRIGERATOR
338
00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:43,671
AND EVERYBODY LOVED THE RADIO.
339
00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:47,242
I LOVE YOU, RADIO.
340
00:09:47,311 --> 00:09:50,677
♪ I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT
AND STOUT... ♪
341
00:09:50,746 --> 00:09:51,979
TURN IT OFF, PLEASE.
342
00:09:52,048 --> 00:09:53,425
BRENDON, IS THIS
SOME SORT OF JOKE?
343
00:09:53,449 --> 00:09:55,582
UH, UM, UH...
YEAH.
344
00:09:55,651 --> 00:09:56,694
BRENDON, HOW COULD YOU?
345
00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:58,918
UM, JASON.
346
00:09:58,987 --> 00:10:01,888
WHAT DID YOU DO...
TO THE VIDEO, JASON?
347
00:10:01,957 --> 00:10:02,957
UM...
348
00:10:03,024 --> 00:10:04,190
BRENDON, I AM SO...
349
00:10:04,259 --> 00:10:05,891
MELISSA, DON'T EVEN...
350
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,393
YOU LOOK SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW,
THIS IS PERFECT.
351
00:10:08,462 --> 00:10:09,706
I WISH I HAD A CAMERA,
BECAUSE, UH...
352
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:13,664
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
353
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:29,356
SO WHAT DID MELISSA
SAY ABOUT ME?
354
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,313
IS SHE... IS SHE STILL
MAD AT ME?
355
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:33,560
OH, SHE SAID SHE WAS UPSET
BECAUSE YOU MADE POTTERY
356
00:10:33,584 --> 00:10:34,950
OUT OF HER GRANDFATHER.
357
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:36,618
POTTERY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
358
00:10:36,687 --> 00:10:39,220
POTTERY, LIKE A VASE OR...
359
00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:41,990
OKAY, ARE YOU SURE SHE DIDN'T
SAY "MOCKERY?"
360
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,803
MOCKERY WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE,
WOULDN'T IT?
361
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,026
UH, YEAH.
362
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:47,061
BECAUSE, UM, YOU DID
MAKE A MOCKERY
363
00:10:47,129 --> 00:10:48,462
OF HER GRANDFATHER'S BIRTHDAY.
364
00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:50,130
WELL, I MEAN, I GUESS.
365
00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:52,766
BUT SHE SAID "POTTERY."
366
00:10:56,771 --> 00:10:57,604
WELL, IT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE FUNNY, YOU KNOW
367
00:10:57,672 --> 00:10:59,706
BUT POIGNANT FUNNY.
368
00:10:59,774 --> 00:11:01,918
I MEAN, I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN
TO MAKE FUN OF THE GUY
369
00:11:01,942 --> 00:11:03,609
BUT IT WAS SO EASY.
370
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:05,077
FIRST OF ALL, LIFE SUCKS.
371
00:11:05,145 --> 00:11:05,611
ALL RIGHT?
372
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:06,544
YEAH.
373
00:11:06,614 --> 00:11:08,324
PERIOD.
DONE DEAL.
374
00:11:08,348 --> 00:11:08,747
YOU GOT IT?
375
00:11:08,816 --> 00:11:09,513
GOT IT.
376
00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:10,622
THERE'S YOUR LESSON.
377
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:11,548
GO ENJOY IT.
378
00:11:11,618 --> 00:11:12,282
SEE YOU LATER.
379
00:11:12,351 --> 00:11:14,151
WAIT A MINUTE.
380
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:14,952
THERE'S TWO KINDS OF FUNNY,
BRENDON, RIGHT?
381
00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:16,587
OKAY.
382
00:11:16,656 --> 00:11:18,265
THERE'S MEAN FUNNY,
WHICH IS, YOU KNOW
383
00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,390
WHEN YOU MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE
AND GET LAUGHS AT THEIR EXPENSE.
384
00:11:21,459 --> 00:11:22,470
LIKE STUFFING THAT NERDY KID
IN A LOCKER.
385
00:11:22,494 --> 00:11:23,326
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
386
00:11:23,394 --> 00:11:24,661
UM... BRIAN?
387
00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:27,362
CARLO, THE ITALIAN KID.
WITH THE FUNNY ACCENT.
388
00:11:27,431 --> 00:11:28,097
THAT'S FUNNY, TOO.
389
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,032
ACCENTS ARE FUNNY.
390
00:11:30,101 --> 00:11:32,178
OKAY, YEAH, BUT I DON'T SEE
HOW THAT'S GOING TO HELP.
391
00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:33,735
THEN THERE'S NICE FUNNY—...
392
00:11:33,803 --> 00:11:36,804
LIKE MAYBE A LITTLE LIGHT
SARCASM OR A CLEVER TWIST
393
00:11:36,873 --> 00:11:37,739
OR A KNOCK—KNOCK JOKE.
394
00:11:37,807 --> 00:11:38,339
I LIKE THOSE.
395
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:38,840
YOU LIKE THOSE?
396
00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:39,674
UM...
397
00:11:39,743 --> 00:11:40,341
KNOCK—KNOCK.
398
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,141
HUH.
399
00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:42,709
BRENDON, KNOCK—KNOCK.
400
00:11:42,778 --> 00:11:43,409
I'M DOING A KNOCK—KNOCK JOKE.
401
00:11:43,478 --> 00:11:44,611
KNOCK—KNOCK.
402
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:45,712
UH, HELLO.
403
00:11:45,781 --> 00:11:47,814
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "HELLO"?
404
00:11:47,883 --> 00:11:49,381
YOU SAY "WHO'S THERE?" BRENDON.
405
00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:50,116
DO YOU KNOW A KNOCK—KNOCK JOKE?
406
00:11:50,184 --> 00:11:51,851
YEAH, UH...
407
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:52,618
I SAY "KNOCK—KNOCK,"
YOU SAY "WHO'S THERE?"
408
00:11:52,687 --> 00:11:53,385
YEAH, RIGHT.
409
00:11:53,454 --> 00:11:54,531
I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF...
410
00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:55,420
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DO IT.
411
00:11:55,489 --> 00:11:56,055
KNOCK—KNOCK.
412
00:11:56,124 --> 00:11:57,388
WHO'S THERE?
413
00:11:57,457 --> 00:11:58,635
NO, WAIT A MINUTE,
YOU SAY "KNOCK—KNOCK."
414
00:11:58,659 --> 00:11:59,736
I DON'T...
KNOCK—KNOCK.
415
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,192
WHO'S THERE?
416
00:12:01,261 --> 00:12:02,694
I DON'T KNOW.
417
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,062
"I DON'T KNOW" WHO?
418
00:12:04,131 --> 00:12:06,363
I DON'T KNOW, I HATE THIS JOKE.
419
00:12:06,431 --> 00:12:07,831
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
420
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,177
IT'S GOT TO BE A PUN
OR SOMETHING.
421
00:12:09,201 --> 00:12:10,278
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT.
422
00:12:10,302 --> 00:12:11,334
WHERE WAS I?
423
00:12:11,403 --> 00:12:13,136
OH, YEAH, NICE FUNNY.
424
00:12:13,204 --> 00:12:13,970
YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU DID
TO MELISSA'S GRANDFATHER
425
00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:14,904
WAS MEAN FUNNY, BRENDON.
426
00:12:14,973 --> 00:12:16,438
OKAY.
427
00:12:16,507 --> 00:12:18,285
PUTTING A WIG AND MAKEUP ON SOME
OLD MAN WHILE HE'S SLEEPING.
428
00:12:18,309 --> 00:12:19,008
DID YOU PUT LIPSTICK ON HIM?
429
00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,876
YEAH.
430
00:12:20,944 --> 00:12:22,689
YOU DID? THAT'S GOOD.
431
00:12:22,713 --> 00:12:24,858
DID YOU PUSH THE CALL BUTTON
OR DO THE BED THING WHERE,
432
00:12:24,882 --> 00:12:26,026
YOU KNOW, YOU GO UP AND DOWN?
433
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,060
HE'S IN PRETTY BAD SHA...
434
00:12:27,084 --> 00:12:28,482
NO, WE DIDN'T IMPAIR HIS HEALTH.
435
00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:28,983
OH.
436
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,117
NO.
437
00:12:30,186 --> 00:12:31,752
THAT'S HOW MY GRANDFATHER DIED.
438
00:12:31,821 --> 00:12:34,088
YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, UH, COACH,
MELISSA'S MAD AT ME
439
00:12:34,157 --> 00:12:35,890
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
440
00:12:35,958 --> 00:12:37,068
WELL, ALL YOU GOT TO DO
IS MAKE IT UP TO HER.
441
00:12:37,092 --> 00:12:38,424
OKAY, OKAY, BUT HOW?
442
00:12:38,493 --> 00:12:40,359
USUALLY I JUST SAY "I'M SORRY."
443
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:41,906
YEAH, WELL, I MEAN,
THAT COULD WORK...
444
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,163
OR YOU GIVE SOMEONE MONEY.
445
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,429
RIGHT.
446
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:46,043
PAY THEM, LIKE A GIFT.
BUY HER A...
447
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,733
CASH GIFT.
448
00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:50,803
OF COURSE, SOMETIMES
I HAVE TO PAY A FINE.
449
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:56,940
DAD?
450
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:57,741
YEAH.
451
00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:58,810
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
452
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,744
CRYING.
453
00:13:01,813 --> 00:13:03,779
YOU WERE LAUGHING.
454
00:13:03,848 --> 00:13:04,514
YOU'RE RIGHT.
455
00:13:04,582 --> 00:13:06,216
BUT IT'S FUNNY.
456
00:13:06,284 --> 00:13:07,817
A 75—YEAR—OLD MAN IN DRAG?
457
00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:08,984
WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?
458
00:13:09,053 --> 00:13:10,986
BUT AREN'T YOU MAD AT BRENDON?
459
00:13:11,055 --> 00:13:13,133
UH, WELL, HE MAY HAVE GONE
A LITTLE TOO FAR
460
00:13:13,157 --> 00:13:14,901
BUT I DON'T THINK HE WAS BEING
MALICIOUS, MELISSA.
461
00:13:14,925 --> 00:13:16,624
BOY, SAY THAT THREE TIMES FAST.
462
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:18,570
DON'T BE TAKEN IN BY
HIS BOYISH CHARM.
463
00:13:18,594 --> 00:13:22,363
BUT HE IS A BOY.
464
00:13:22,432 --> 00:13:24,131
HI, GUYS.
465
00:13:24,199 --> 00:13:25,877
IT'S GOING TO TAKE MORE
THAN BALLOONS AND FLOWERS
466
00:13:25,901 --> 00:13:27,578
FOR ME TO FORGIVE YOU,
BRENDON SMALL.
467
00:13:27,602 --> 00:13:30,737
WOW, BOTH NAMES.
468
00:13:30,805 --> 00:13:31,815
HEY, CAN I HAVE
SOME OF THAT CANDY?
469
00:13:31,839 --> 00:13:38,977
NO.
470
00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:40,123
WOULD YOU LIKE A BALLOON,
ANYTHING?
471
00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:42,347
THANKS, BRENDON,
THAT'S A LITTLE...
472
00:13:42,415 --> 00:13:43,014
BRENDON.
WHAT, JASON?
473
00:13:43,082 --> 00:13:46,284
BRENDON.
474
00:13:46,353 --> 00:13:48,718
HELP, I'M STUCK IN THE RAVINE.
475
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:52,088
OH, BABY, I CAN'T GET
ENOUGH OF THIS STUFF!
476
00:13:52,158 --> 00:13:56,192
♪ A—B—C—D—E—F—G... ♪
477
00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:01,375
OH, HERE, CAN I GET
THAT FOR YOU, MA'AM?
478
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:02,097
THAT'S A MAN.
479
00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:03,998
LADY, MAN.
480
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:05,107
LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.
481
00:14:06,836 --> 00:14:07,902
HEY, BUTTER FINGERS.
482
00:14:07,971 --> 00:14:08,971
BRENDON, LET'S GO.
483
00:14:09,039 --> 00:14:10,116
IT'S NOT ME!
MY MOM DID IT!
484
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,607
BRENDON!
485
00:14:13,676 --> 00:14:14,919
THAT WAS REAL NICE OF YOU
TO HELP HER, MOM.
486
00:14:14,943 --> 00:14:16,488
THE ELDERLY SHOULD BE TREATED
WITH RESPECT.
487
00:14:16,512 --> 00:14:17,789
YEAH, BUT NOT
ALL THE TIME, RIGHT?
488
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,146
ALWAYS.
489
00:14:19,214 --> 00:14:21,681
YEAH, BUT, UM, YOU SAID
THEY WERE OLD FARTS.
490
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,316
BRENDON, I NEVER SAID THAT.
491
00:14:23,385 --> 00:14:24,629
YES, YOU DID——
IN THE CAR.
492
00:14:24,653 --> 00:14:26,153
MOM, I HAVE IT ON TAPE.
493
00:14:26,221 --> 00:14:28,487
BRENDON, STOP TAPING
OUR CONVERSATIONS.
494
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:29,555
WHAT'S GOING ON?
495
00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:32,302
I GUESS I DID SOMETHING
THAT MIGHT HAVE
496
00:14:32,326 --> 00:14:34,193
HURT SOMEBODY'S FEELINGS.
497
00:14:34,262 --> 00:14:35,760
AN OLD PERSON'S FEELINGS?
498
00:14:35,829 --> 00:14:36,694
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
499
00:14:36,763 --> 00:14:37,561
JUST A GUESS.
500
00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:38,963
NO, IT'S MELISSA.
501
00:14:39,032 --> 00:14:40,932
WELL, DID YOU APOLOGIZE?
502
00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:42,400
YES, I DID, IN FACT.
503
00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:43,400
WELL, THAT'S GOOD, AND...?
504
00:14:43,468 --> 00:14:45,368
SHE'S STILL MAD.
505
00:14:45,437 --> 00:14:46,681
OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU COULD DO?
506
00:14:46,705 --> 00:14:47,604
WHAT?
507
00:14:47,672 --> 00:14:48,738
FLOWERS AND CANDY.
508
00:14:48,807 --> 00:14:50,173
I DID THAT.
509
00:14:50,242 --> 00:14:51,974
OH, BOTH?
510
00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:53,809
Brendon:
YEAH.
511
00:14:53,878 --> 00:14:54,810
Paula:
I GUESS I'M ALL OUT OF IDEAS.
512
00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:55,879
OKAY.
513
00:14:55,947 --> 00:14:57,513
OKAY, SO THAT'S DONE.
514
00:14:57,581 --> 00:14:58,414
SO WE'RE FINISHED
TALKING ABOUT THAT.
515
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:03,118
YEAH, WE'LL JUST SHOP NOW.
516
00:15:03,186 --> 00:15:04,630
COACH McGUIRK, I THINK
I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO
517
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:05,553
TO MAKE IT UP TO MELISSA.
518
00:15:05,622 --> 00:15:07,187
GOOD FOR YOU, BRENDON.
519
00:15:07,256 --> 00:15:09,667
I'M GOING TO DO A REENACTMENT
OF MELISSA'S GRANDFATHER'S LIFE.
520
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,158
DAVID, DON'T USE YOUR HANDS!
521
00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:12,659
THIS IS NOT TENNIS.
522
00:15:12,728 --> 00:15:15,228
I CAN KEEP SOME OF HIS NARRATION
BUT INTERCUT IT
523
00:15:15,297 --> 00:15:16,374
WITH NEW SCENES AND...
524
00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:17,530
DAVID.
525
00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:19,299
SOCCER——
NO HANDS.
526
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:21,412
COACH, I MEAN, HE SAVED
A GUY'S LIFE IN THE WAR
527
00:15:21,436 --> 00:15:23,146
AND, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SHOW...
528
00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:24,881
DAVID, I'M GOING TO COME OUT
THERE AND CUT THOSE OFF!
529
00:15:24,905 --> 00:15:26,438
YOU THINK I'M KIDDING, DAVID?
530
00:15:26,507 --> 00:15:28,273
IT'S JUST A NEW...
531
00:15:28,342 --> 00:15:31,108
WHAT'S THE STUPID LOOK FOR?
THAT KID'S GOT TO LEARN.
532
00:15:31,177 --> 00:15:32,721
YOU DON'T USE YOUR HANDS.
THAT'S THE BASIC RULE.
533
00:15:32,745 --> 00:15:34,545
I KNOW THAT,
I KNOW THAT.
534
00:15:34,613 --> 00:15:36,225
ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT ARE YOU
TELLING ME, BRENDON?
535
00:15:36,249 --> 00:15:38,648
I NEED SOMEONE BIG AND STRONG
TO PLAY THE LEAD ROLE AND...
536
00:15:38,716 --> 00:15:40,716
LEAD ROLE?
537
00:15:40,785 --> 00:15:41,451
YOU'RE THINKING OF ME
FOR THE LEAD?
538
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,286
UH, UH, WELL, YEAH.
539
00:15:43,355 --> 00:15:45,133
I'LL DO IT, BUT ON ONE
CONDITION.
540
00:15:45,157 --> 00:15:48,457
OKAY, WHATEV... ANYTHING.
541
00:15:48,526 --> 00:15:50,625
I, UM, I DIDN'T HEAR
WHAT YOU SAID.
542
00:15:50,694 --> 00:15:51,360
I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING
TO SAY.
543
00:15:51,429 --> 00:15:52,827
HMM.
544
00:15:52,896 --> 00:15:54,595
DAVID, I'LL CUT THEM OFF!
545
00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:55,496
OUCH!
546
00:15:55,565 --> 00:15:56,897
SAVE THIS FOR THE...
547
00:15:56,967 --> 00:15:59,167
THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE
WITH NO HANDS.
548
00:15:59,235 --> 00:16:00,701
COACH, UH...
549
00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:02,847
BLOODY STUMPS IS ALL
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE.
550
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,882
SOME OF THE PARENTS ARE HERE
TO PICK UP THE KIDS AND, UH...
551
00:16:04,906 --> 00:16:07,207
I WAS JUST KIDDING,
USE YOUR HANDS.
552
00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:09,076
IT'S FUN, THIS IS FOR FUN.
553
00:16:09,144 --> 00:16:09,576
THANK YOU, BRENDON.
554
00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:12,844
YEAH.
555
00:16:12,913 --> 00:16:14,980
OKAY, UH, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.
556
00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,693
JASON, I NEED YOU
TO BE A LITTLE...
557
00:16:16,717 --> 00:16:18,183
A LITTLE BIT MORE MENACING.
558
00:16:18,251 --> 00:16:19,995
JUST TRY YOUR LINE AGAIN,
PLEASE?
559
00:16:20,019 --> 00:16:21,652
OKAY.
560
00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:23,288
UM, I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU.
561
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:27,124
OK, UH, DO YOU KNOW ANY GERMAN
WORDS OR PHRASES OR...?
562
00:16:27,193 --> 00:16:28,193
OH ALR...
563
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:29,026
ICH BIN...
564
00:16:29,095 --> 00:16:30,394
ICH BIN EIN BERLINER.
565
00:16:30,463 --> 00:16:31,962
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
566
00:16:32,031 --> 00:16:34,007
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST TRY SOME MORE MAKEUP.
567
00:16:34,031 --> 00:16:37,133
UM, ASK NOT WHAT YOUR, UM,
COUNTRY CAN DO...
568
00:16:37,202 --> 00:16:38,779
THAT'S NOT SO MUCH GERMAN,
JASON.
569
00:16:38,803 --> 00:16:41,070
ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR
YOUR COUNTRY IN GERMANY—...
570
00:16:41,139 --> 00:16:43,105
IN GERMAN.
571
00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:45,373
ALL RIGHT, WELL, UM...
572
00:16:45,442 --> 00:16:46,453
NO, I'M ALL RIGHT,
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
573
00:16:46,477 --> 00:16:47,909
I CAN CARRY YOU.
574
00:16:47,978 --> 00:16:48,810
YOU'RE JUST SLIPPING
THROUGH MY FINGERS HERE.
575
00:16:48,878 --> 00:16:51,445
WELL, I'M A LITTLE SORE, BUT...
576
00:16:51,514 --> 00:16:52,012
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE
A DECEPTIVE BODY.
577
00:16:52,081 --> 00:16:53,192
THANK YOU.
578
00:16:53,216 --> 00:16:55,048
I MEAN, YEAH.
579
00:16:55,118 --> 00:16:56,495
I'M GETTING THE WRONG SIGNALS
FROM THE CLOTHES.
580
00:16:56,519 --> 00:16:57,696
UNDERNEATH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.
581
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,819
YOU'RE LIGHTER THAN YOU LOOK.
582
00:16:59,887 --> 00:17:00,887
YOU'RE VERY LIGHT.
583
00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:02,122
I'M... I'M SVELTE.
584
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:02,888
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
585
00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:03,556
SVELTE?
586
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:05,158
MM—HMM.
587
00:17:05,227 --> 00:17:07,370
YOU KNOW, THAT I LOOK GOOD
IN A SWEATER, SWEATER VEST.
588
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,761
HEY, HOW DID I DO, BY THE WAY?
589
00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:12,231
EVER READ A BOOK CALLED
AN ACTOR PREPARES?
590
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,376
YOU KNOW, I'VE ONLY READ ONE
BOOK IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS
591
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,134
AND THAT WAS NOT IT.
592
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,779
BECAUSE THERE
ARE SPECIAL TECHNIQUES
593
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,148
THAT WILL HELP YOU
GET INTO CHARACTER.
594
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,738
DO YOU DO BREATHING EXERCISES?
595
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:21,904
I KNOW HOW TO BREATHE.
596
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:23,973
IT COMES AUTOMATICALLY.
597
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:26,162
TRY THIS—— TRY TO BREATHE
THROUGH YOUR NOSE LIKE THIS.
598
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,112
BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE.
599
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:32,648
I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
600
00:17:32,716 --> 00:17:33,915
COVER YOUR MOUTH.
601
00:17:33,984 --> 00:17:35,795
I MEAN, UH, OKAY,
EVERYBODY READY?
602
00:17:35,819 --> 00:17:36,485
YEAH.
603
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:37,286
McGUIRK? YOU GUYS READY?
604
00:17:37,355 --> 00:17:38,520
UH... YEAH.
605
00:17:38,588 --> 00:17:41,055
ALL RIGHT, AND... ACTION.
606
00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:41,889
OKAY, WAIT—...
607
00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:43,158
ONE MORE QUESTION, BRENDON...
608
00:17:43,226 --> 00:17:44,825
CUT, CUT, CUT... YEAH?
609
00:17:44,894 --> 00:17:46,860
WHAT IS MY MOTIVATION
IN THIS SCENE?
610
00:17:46,928 --> 00:17:48,640
YEAH, YOU'RE WOUNDED.
YOU JUST WANT TO...
611
00:17:48,664 --> 00:17:51,024
I'M GOING TO BREATHE THROUGH
MY NOSE DURING THIS SCENE.
612
00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:52,232
IS THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU?
613
00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:53,099
YEAH, WHATEVER MAKES
YOU COMFORTABLE, MAN.
614
00:17:53,169 --> 00:17:53,799
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
615
00:17:53,868 --> 00:17:55,701
OKAY, CUT.
616
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,671
I MEAN, ACTION, ACTION.
617
00:17:58,739 --> 00:18:04,909
COME, UH... COME BACK HERE...
GERMAN, GERMAN.
618
00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:14,685
I'LL SAVE YOU, SOLDIER.
619
00:18:14,753 --> 00:18:16,033
HEY, THAT'S SOME DEEP BREATHING.
620
00:18:16,522 --> 00:18:17,820
DON'T WORRY.
621
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,422
HEY, WHO'S WORRYING?
622
00:18:19,491 --> 00:18:21,991
YOU'RE NED.
623
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,459
BETTER NED THAN DEAD.
624
00:18:23,528 --> 00:18:24,394
RIGHT.
625
00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:25,582
BUT BETTER STILL, NEVER NED.
626
00:18:26,963 --> 00:18:28,530
WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD UP.
627
00:18:28,599 --> 00:18:29,742
WHAT'S THIS GUY DOING HERE?
628
00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:31,132
OKAY, YOU KNOW, CUT.
629
00:18:33,769 --> 00:18:35,869
THAT WAS ALL VERY FUNNY
630
00:18:35,938 --> 00:18:37,849
AND A LITTLE TOO MUCH
NOSE BREATHING, McGUIRK.
631
00:18:37,873 --> 00:18:40,308
UM... ERIC, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
632
00:18:40,376 --> 00:18:41,786
OKAY, YOU'RE GOING TO WANT
TO STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
633
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:42,942
OKAY.
634
00:18:43,011 --> 00:18:44,311
THAT'S FUNNY, THAT'S CUTE...
635
00:18:44,379 --> 00:18:46,224
OKAY, BUT I'LL DO THE LINES
AS WRITTEN.
636
00:18:46,248 --> 00:18:48,847
OKAY, I'M GOING TO START
YOU GUYS OFF AGAIN.
637
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:50,194
SO YOU WANT ME TO PULL BACK
ON THE NOSE BREATHING.
638
00:18:50,218 --> 00:18:54,086
RIGHT—— READY AND, UH, ACTION.
639
00:18:54,154 --> 00:18:56,222
BRENDON, I FORGOT MY LINE.
640
00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:57,300
HE HAS TO SAY, "COME BACK HERE."
641
00:18:57,324 --> 00:18:58,856
ALL RIGHT.
642
00:18:58,925 --> 00:19:00,291
COME BACK HERE.
643
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,837
THAT'S GREAT.
644
00:19:01,861 --> 00:19:02,871
I'LL SAVE YOU, SOLDIER, DON'T
WORRY.
645
00:19:02,895 --> 00:19:03,728
HEY, WHO'S WORRIED?
646
00:19:03,796 --> 00:19:05,162
YOU'RE NED—...
647
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,498
ONE OF THE BEST SOLDIERS AROUND.
648
00:19:07,566 --> 00:19:09,666
THANK YOU, NED,
FOR SAVING MY LIFE.
649
00:19:09,735 --> 00:19:10,867
YOU'RE WELCOME, SOLDIER.
650
00:19:10,936 --> 00:19:11,979
OKAY, CUT—— GREAT, PERFECT.
651
00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:13,436
THAT WAS GREAT, GUYS.
652
00:19:13,504 --> 00:19:15,015
THANK YOU, NED,
FOR SAVING MY LIFE.
653
00:19:15,039 --> 00:19:15,604
YEAH, YOU KNOW, ERIC,
654
00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:16,338
UH, WE CUT.
655
00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:17,339
WE STOPPED ROLLING.
656
00:19:17,408 --> 00:19:19,207
YOU GUYS DID FANTASTIC.
657
00:19:19,276 --> 00:19:20,287
ALL RIGHT, BRENDON,
CAN WE DO MY THING NOW?
658
00:19:20,311 --> 00:19:21,643
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THAT'S FINE.
659
00:19:21,711 --> 00:19:22,544
I'LL JUST CHANGE RIGHT HERE.
660
00:19:22,612 --> 00:19:24,145
YEAH, OKAY.
661
00:19:24,213 --> 00:19:27,649
IT'S NOT MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
662
00:19:27,717 --> 00:19:28,993
WHY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TELL THEM ABOUT YOURSELF.
663
00:19:29,017 --> 00:19:30,094
JUST, YOU KNOW, GO CRAZY.
664
00:19:30,118 --> 00:19:31,217
JUST SAY ANYTHING?
665
00:19:31,286 --> 00:19:33,206
YEAH, JUST START TALKING,
YOU KNOW.
666
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,923
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
667
00:19:35,991 --> 00:19:37,457
HEY, UH...
668
00:19:37,525 --> 00:19:41,026
HEY, LADIES, UH,
MY NAME IS JOHN McGUIRK.
669
00:19:45,666 --> 00:19:48,399
I, UH, AM A
PROFESSIONAL SOCCER COACH
670
00:19:48,469 --> 00:19:52,703
AT THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LEVEL
AND I OWN A NICE CAR
671
00:19:52,772 --> 00:19:55,205
THOUGH I DO NOT CURRENTLY HAVE
LEGAL ACCESS TO IT.
672
00:19:55,274 --> 00:19:57,808
UM, AS YOU CAN SEE,
673
00:19:57,877 --> 00:20:01,444
I USED TO BE IN GOOD SHAPE AND,
UH, IN THE LAST TWO YEARS
674
00:20:01,513 --> 00:20:05,782
I'VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED FOUR
OUT OF FIVE REHAB PROGRAMS.
675
00:20:05,851 --> 00:20:07,994
THE KIND OF WOMAN I'M INTERESTED
IN IS THE ONE, I GUESS,
676
00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:09,317
WHO'S STILL WATCHING THIS VIDEO.
677
00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:12,098
CUT—— I'M GOING
TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.
678
00:20:12,122 --> 00:20:14,000
WHAT? THAT WAS, UH,
THAT WAS NOT GOOD OR...
679
00:20:14,024 --> 00:20:15,068
WE GOT IT——
WE GOT THIS.
680
00:20:15,092 --> 00:20:16,524
I THINK YOU NAILED IT.
681
00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:22,163
FEED ME.
682
00:20:22,232 --> 00:20:23,864
CHANGE ME.
683
00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,399
THIS IS MY PROUDEST MOMENT—...
684
00:20:25,467 --> 00:20:28,768
THE BIRTH OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER,
MELISSA.
685
00:20:31,574 --> 00:20:33,939
SO, UH, WHAT DID YOU THINK,
MELISSA?
686
00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:35,519
I THINK YOU JUST DON'T GET IT,
DO YOU, BRENDON?
687
00:20:35,543 --> 00:20:36,141
I MEAN...
688
00:20:36,211 --> 00:20:38,043
WHOA, WHAT?
689
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,278
I'M JUST KIDDING.
690
00:20:39,347 --> 00:20:40,812
I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
691
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,779
I REALLY LIKED IT, BRENDON.
692
00:20:41,848 --> 00:20:43,248
THANKS.
693
00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:45,817
DAD?
694
00:20:45,885 --> 00:20:47,951
THAT WAS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF...
695
00:20:50,523 --> 00:20:51,523
DAD?
696
00:20:53,225 --> 00:20:54,491
UM, HOW LONG WAS I ASLEEP?
697
00:20:55,561 --> 00:20:55,958
AH, THANK GOD—...
698
00:20:56,027 --> 00:20:57,027
WOW.
699
00:20:58,663 --> 00:20:59,663
DAD.
700
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:02,943
WHOA! I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN HIT
BY A TRUCK.
701
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:05,500
DAD?
702
00:21:05,569 --> 00:21:07,002
IS SOMEONE BURNING TOAST?
703
00:21:09,673 --> 00:21:11,772
WHO KEEPS TOUCHING ME?
I CAN'T...
704
00:21:13,476 --> 00:21:14,586
DAD? I GOT TO HIT THE ROAD HERE.
705
00:21:14,610 --> 00:21:16,877
THIS IS NOT...
706
00:21:16,946 --> 00:21:18,779
DAD, WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
707
00:21:18,848 --> 00:21:20,825
WHO'S KILLING THIS PARTY?
EVERYONE'S LEAVING.
708
00:21:20,849 --> 00:21:21,969
GET OVER HERE!
I'M NOT FIN...
709
00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:28,331
HI—— HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO WAKE
UP NEXT TO THIS?
710
00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:30,756
OKAY, CUT.
711
00:21:30,825 --> 00:21:33,191
NO, MY IDEAL WOMAN IS A WOMAN
WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORLD,
712
00:21:33,260 --> 00:21:34,893
PLUS 15%.
713
00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:37,562
I'D LIKE A, YOU KNOW, TALL
WOMAN, ABOUT MY HEIGHT.
714
00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:45,502
MY IDEAL WOMAN IS MY MOTHER,
ACTUALLY, WHO I HATE.
715
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:49,405
I NEED A NICE YOUNG WOMAN
TO CUT MY TOENAILS.
716
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,007
I'M LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO WILL
ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM
717
00:21:52,076 --> 00:21:54,276
AND NOT FOR MY MONEY,
ALTHOUGH I'LL...
718
00:21:54,344 --> 00:21:56,264
I'LL GIVE YOU $50.
719
00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:04,457
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE TRANSCRIPTION COMPANY
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WWW.TRANSCRIPTS.NET
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