Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:02,514
Nice move.
I've got it.
2
00:00:02,686 --> 00:00:04,620
Take him down.
He's got you, Sheldon.
3
00:00:04,788 --> 00:00:06,949
Come on.
He's completely schooling you.
4
00:00:07,123 --> 00:00:10,217
Hey, guys, some of the other waitresses
wanted me to ask you something.
5
00:00:10,393 --> 00:00:12,918
- It's Tressling.
- It combines the physical strength...
6
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,465
...of arm wrestling with the mental agility
of Tetris into the ultimate sport.
7
00:00:17,634 --> 00:00:21,434
That's terrific, but what they wanted me
to ask you is to cut it the hell out.
8
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,367
All right, come on, guys. Come on.
9
00:00:27,744 --> 00:00:29,644
We might as well stop, it's a stalemate.
10
00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:33,772
You're beating me in Tetris, but you've got
the upper body strength of a Keebler elf.
11
00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,248
Keebler elf?
I got a Keebler elf right here.
12
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,191
Okay, it's a stalemate.
13
00:00:44,661 --> 00:00:48,427
Leonard, will we be seeing you on Saturday
for your free birthday cheesecake?
14
00:00:48,598 --> 00:00:50,964
He can't eat cheesecake.
He's lactose intolerant.
15
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,601
Okay, he can have carrot cake.
16
00:00:52,769 --> 00:00:55,636
- What about the cream-cheese frosting?
- He can scrape it off.
17
00:00:56,773 --> 00:00:59,799
Forget about the cake.
How did you know my birthday's Saturday?
18
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,443
I did your horoscope, remember?
19
00:01:01,611 --> 00:01:05,103
I was gonna do everybody's until Sheldon
went on one of his psychotic rants.
20
00:01:05,915 --> 00:01:07,780
For the record, that psychotic rant...
21
00:01:07,951 --> 00:01:10,818
...was a concise summation
of the research of Bertram Forer...
22
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,387
...who, in 1948, proved conclusively...
23
00:01:13,556 --> 00:01:15,353
...through meticulous experiments...
24
00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:17,891
...that astrology
is pseudoscientific hokum.
25
00:01:18,061 --> 00:01:19,858
Blah, blah, blah. Typical Taurus.
26
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,959
- So we gonna see you Saturday?
- I don't think so.
27
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,068
- Why not?
- I don't celebrate my birthday.
28
00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,396
Shut up. Yeah, you do.
29
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,697
It's no big deal.
It's the way I was raised.
30
00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:32,341
My parents focused
on celebrating achievements...
31
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:36,275
...and being expelled from a birth canal
was not considered one of them.
32
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,943
- That's so silly.
- It's actually based on very sound theories.
33
00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:43,017
- His mother published a paper on it.
- Well, what was it called?
34
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,586
"I Hate My Son
and That's Why He Can't Have Cake"?
35
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,316
It was obviously effective.
36
00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:50,686
Leonard grew up to be
an experimental physicist.
37
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,557
Perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas,
he'd be a little better at it.
38
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:57,229
Thank you.
39
00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,268
Well, I love birthdays. Waking up
to Mom's special French-toast breakfast...
40
00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:05,203
...wearing the birthday king crown,
playing laser tag with all my friends.
41
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,400
Yeah, see? That's what kids should have.
42
00:02:07,577 --> 00:02:09,977
Actually, that was last year.
43
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:16,249
So you've really never had
a birthday party?
44
00:02:16,419 --> 00:02:17,943
No, but it was okay.
45
00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:22,353
When I was little, I'd think my parents
would change their mind and surprise me.
46
00:02:22,525 --> 00:02:25,016
This one birthday,
I came home from my cello lesson...
47
00:02:25,195 --> 00:02:27,163
...and I saw strange cars
parked out front.
48
00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,321
When I got to the door,
I hear whispering...
49
00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:32,900
...and I could smell German chocolate cake,
which is my favorite.
50
00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:37,637
- And?
- It turns out my grandfather had died.
51
00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:40,538
Oh, my God, that's terrible.
52
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:42,905
Well, it was kind of like a birthday party.
53
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,241
I got to see all my cousins,
and there was cake, so...
54
00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:51,077
- That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
- You think?
55
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,313
Go ahead,
tell her about your senior prom.
56
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,017
Make sure they remember, no peanuts.
57
00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:26,281
Howard, every Thai restaurant in town
knows you can't eat peanuts.
58
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:30,247
When they see me coming,
they go, "Ah, no-peanut boy. "
59
00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:44,764
- Hello, Penny, Leonard just left.
- I know, I wanna talk to you.
60
00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:46,602
What would we talk about?
61
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:49,344
We have no overlapping
areas of interest I'm aware of.
62
00:03:49,512 --> 00:03:52,777
- As you know, I don't care for chitchat.
- Can you just let me in?
63
00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:56,146
Well, all right, but I don't see this
as a promising endeavor.
64
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:58,444
Okay, here's the deal.
65
00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:01,522
We'll throw Leonard a kickass
surprise party for his birthday.
66
00:04:01,691 --> 00:04:02,715
I hardly think so.
67
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:05,122
Leonard made it clear
he doesn't want a party.
68
00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:07,593
Did someone say party?
69
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,994
He just doesn't know he wants one,
because he's never had one.
70
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,362
I suppose that's possible.
71
00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:17,199
But for the record, I've never had
a threesome and yet I still know I want one.
72
00:04:19,575 --> 00:04:20,599
Here's the difference.
73
00:04:20,777 --> 00:04:23,575
The possibility exists
Leonard could have a birthday party...
74
00:04:23,746 --> 00:04:25,839
...before hell freezes over.
75
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:30,383
Fine. If I do have a threesome,
you can't be part of it.
76
00:04:32,221 --> 00:04:33,882
I'm just kidding. Yes, you can.
77
00:04:35,158 --> 00:04:37,023
Can you bring a friend?
78
00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:41,128
I think a birthday party is a terrible idea.
79
00:04:41,297 --> 00:04:44,027
I envy Leonard for growing up
without that anguish.
80
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,224
Anguish?
81
00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:48,495
Year after year,
I had to endure wearing conical hats...
82
00:04:48,671 --> 00:04:52,004
...while being forced into the crowded,
sweaty hell of bouncy castles.
83
00:04:52,175 --> 00:04:53,802
Not to mention being blindfolded...
84
00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:56,241
...and spun toward
a grotesque tailless donkey...
85
00:04:56,412 --> 00:04:59,472
...as the other children mocked
my disorientation.
86
00:05:00,249 --> 00:05:04,549
Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars
that no non-professional can heal...
87
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,622
...but nevertheless, we're gonna
throw Leonard a birthday party.
88
00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,815
I'm extremely uncomfortable
with dancing...
89
00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:13,224
...loud music and most other forms
of alcohol-induced frivolity.
90
00:05:14,764 --> 00:05:16,391
- Nevertheless...
- In addition...
91
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,034
You either help me
throw Leonard a birthday party...
92
00:05:19,202 --> 00:05:20,863
...or I will go into your bedroom...
93
00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:23,562
...and unbag all
your mint-condition comic books.
94
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:28,370
And on one of them... You won't know
which.... I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.
95
00:05:30,146 --> 00:05:34,242
You can't do that. If you make a mark
in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
96
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,612
Do you understand
the concept of blackmail?
97
00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,651
Well, of course, I... Oh.
98
00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:44,257
Yeah, I have an idea. Let's throw Leonard
a kickass birthday party.
99
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,743
That's not the secret knock.
100
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,415
This is the secret knock:
101
00:06:12,822 --> 00:06:14,312
What difference does it make?
102
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:17,482
The point of a secret knock
is to establish a nonverbal signal...
103
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:20,390
...to verify the identity
of one's coconspirators.
104
00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:23,896
Is that Raj and Howard?
- Possibly, but unverified.
105
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,591
Would you just let us in?
106
00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:28,862
Luckily for you,
this is not a nuclear reactor.
107
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:30,699
So, what'd you get the birthday boy?
108
00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:33,808
Raj got him an awesome
limited-edition Dark Knight sculpture...
109
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,876
...based on Alex Ross'
definitive Batman.
110
00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:39,947
And I got him this amazing autographed
copy of The Feynman Lectures on Physics.
111
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:43,483
Nice. I got him a sweater.
112
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,817
Okay, well, he might like that.
I've seen him get chilly.
113
00:06:48,624 --> 00:06:51,991
- Sheldon, I didn't see your present.
- That's because I didn't bring one.
114
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,287
- Why not?
- Don't ask.
115
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:56,489
The entire institution of gift-giving
makes no sense.
116
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,829
- Too late.
- Let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you.
117
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:03,130
It's a laborious activity
because I have to imagine what you need...
118
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:04,864
...where you know what you need.
119
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:08,169
I could simplify things,
just give you the $50 directly...
120
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,177
...and then you could give me $50
on my birthday and so on...
121
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:15,477
...until one of us dies,
leaving the other one old and $50 richer.
122
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,784
And I ask you, is it worth it?
123
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,221
Told you not to ask.
124
00:07:22,391 --> 00:07:26,088
Well, Sheldon, you're his friend.
Friends give each other presents.
125
00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:28,696
I accept your premise,
I reject your conclusion.
126
00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:34,429
Try telling him
it's a non-optional social convention.
127
00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:37,204
- What?
- Just do it.
128
00:07:39,408 --> 00:07:42,673
It's a non-optional social convention.
129
00:07:43,779 --> 00:07:45,770
Ah, fair enough.
130
00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:50,918
He came with a manual.
131
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,781
Question, how am I going to get Leonard
a present before the party?
132
00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:57,755
I don't drive and the things available
in walking distance...
133
00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,792
...are a Thai restaurant
and a gas station.
134
00:07:59,962 --> 00:08:04,092
I could wrap up an order of mee krob
and a couple of lottery scratchers.
135
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:07,794
Okay, let's do this.
I will drive Sheldon to get a present.
136
00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:10,768
- Howard, get rid of Leonard for two hours.
- No problem.
137
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:14,273
And then, Raj, you bring the stuff
across the hall and start setting up.
138
00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:17,704
- What if guests show up?
- Entertain them.
139
00:08:18,948 --> 00:08:20,848
What if they're women?
140
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,379
Stare at them
and make them feel uncomfortable.
141
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,959
- Hey.
- Hey.
142
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,527
- How's it going?
- Fine.
143
00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:45,833
So listen, the Nuart is showing the revised,
definitive cut of Blade Runner.
144
00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:47,236
- Seen it.
- No.
145
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:50,106
You've seen
the 25th Anniversary Final Cut.
146
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:53,578
This one has eight seconds
of previously-unseen footage.
147
00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:56,411
They say it completely changes
the tone of the film.
148
00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:58,585
Pass.
149
00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:03,282
Come on. Afterwards, there's a Q&A
with Harrison Ford's body double.
150
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,859
Look, I am in the "Halo" battle
of my life here.
151
00:09:06,028 --> 00:09:08,588
There's this kid in Copenhagen,
he has no immune system.
152
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:11,858
So all he does is sit in his bubble
and play "Halo" 24/7.
153
00:09:12,535 --> 00:09:14,264
Can't you play him some other time?
154
00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:17,099
Not if you believe his doctors.
155
00:09:20,343 --> 00:09:22,743
Oh, my God, do you smell gas?
156
00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:25,670
- No.
- Yeah, no.
157
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,116
You know, they have DVDs over there.
158
00:09:32,288 --> 00:09:35,780
Yes, but they have DVD burners
over here.
159
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,859
Leonard needs a DVD burner.
160
00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:41,462
Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be
something someone needs.
161
00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:42,893
It should be something fun.
162
00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:47,764
- Something they wouldn't buy for themself.
- You mean, like a sweater?
163
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:53,971
Well, it's a fun sweater.
It's got a bold geometric print.
164
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:57,306
- Is it the geometry that makes it fun?
- Okay.
165
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,278
The point is, one of the ways
we show we care about people...
166
00:10:00,449 --> 00:10:04,078
...is by putting thought and imagination
into the gifts we give them.
167
00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:08,280
- Okay, I see, so not a DVD burner.
- Exactly.
168
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:12,416
Something he wouldn't buy for himself,
something fun, something like... Ah!
169
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:15,530
An 802.11 n wireless router.
170
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,665
Here you go, Copenhagen boy.
171
00:10:20,836 --> 00:10:23,498
How about a taste
of Hans Christian hand grenade?
172
00:10:27,743 --> 00:10:29,335
That could not feel good.
173
00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:35,117
Come on, come on. Oh, you clever...
174
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,379
Come on, come on.
175
00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,517
Take that.
176
00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:45,650
Uh-oh.
177
00:10:46,996 --> 00:10:48,987
Uh-oh.
178
00:10:49,198 --> 00:10:51,632
- What's the matter?
- This granola bar has peanuts in it.
179
00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:54,861
- Oh, my God. Why did you eat it?
- I don't know, it was just there.
180
00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:58,734
Well, if I had a gun there,
would you have shot yourself?
181
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,068
Don't yell at me.
182
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,642
- I've gotta go to the emergency room.
- Now?
183
00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:05,872
No, after my tongue has swollen
to the size of a brisket.
184
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:09,109
All right, just let me get my keys.
185
00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:12,550
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
186
00:11:12,722 --> 00:11:15,054
The laundry is out of the hamper.
187
00:11:18,527 --> 00:11:21,462
Okay, Sheldon,
what was it supposed to be?
188
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,695
Fine, it's out of the washer.
189
00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:27,335
I'll call you when it's in the dryer.
190
00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:28,827
All right, let's go.
191
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,445
- What do you think?
- Um, that one.
192
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,452
- Because of the additional Ethernet ports?
- Sure.
193
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,284
He doesn't need them.
He's got a six-port Ethernet switch.
194
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,119
- Oh, okay, then this one.
- Why?
195
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,421
I don't know.
The man on the box looks so happy.
196
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,960
Penny, if I'm going to buy Leonard a gift,
I'm going to do it right.
197
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:01,194
I refuse to let him experience
the same childhood trauma I did.
198
00:12:01,837 --> 00:12:04,897
I know I'm gonna regret this,
but what trauma?
199
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:09,803
On my 12th birthday,
I really wanted a titanium centrifuge...
200
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,812
...so, you know,
I could separate radioactive isotopes.
201
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,108
Of course, yeah.
202
00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:18,276
Instead of a titanium centrifuge,
my parents bought me...
203
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:19,921
Wow, this is hard.
204
00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:24,690
They got me a motorized dirt bike.
205
00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:27,486
No.
206
00:12:28,063 --> 00:12:31,658
What 12-year-old boy
wants a motorized dirt bike?
207
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:33,833
All of them.
208
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,493
- Really?
- Yeah.
209
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,333
Huh.
210
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,036
- So we're getting this one?
- Yeah, I suppose.
211
00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:42,939
All right, let's go.
212
00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:45,842
Excuse me,
do you know anything about this stuff?
213
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,210
I know everything about this stuff.
214
00:12:48,384 --> 00:12:51,012
Okay, I have my own
wholesale flower business.
215
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,178
I wanna hook up my computer
in the front...
216
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,346
...with the one
in my refrigerated warehouse.
217
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,958
Buy this one, it's the one we're getting.
Happy guy.
218
00:12:58,127 --> 00:12:59,321
No, she doesn't want that.
219
00:12:59,495 --> 00:13:03,693
She needs a point-to-point peer network
with a range extender.
220
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,391
- Thank you.
- Which hard drive do I want?
221
00:13:06,569 --> 00:13:10,869
- FireWire or USB?
- It depends on what bus you have available.
222
00:13:14,577 --> 00:13:17,637
I drive a Chevy Cavalier.
223
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,071
Oh, dear Lord.
224
00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,740
- We have to go.
- Not now, this poor man needs me.
225
00:13:22,918 --> 00:13:24,943
You, hold on, I'll be right with you.
226
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:29,284
What computer do you have,
and please don't say a white one.
227
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,960
- Excuse me.
- Fill this out and have a seat.
228
00:13:37,132 --> 00:13:39,430
We're throwing
my friend a surprise party...
229
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:41,934
...and I'm supposed to keep him out
for two hours.
230
00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:44,231
Uh-huh. Fill this out and have a seat.
231
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,204
The way I could get him
to leave was tell him I ate a peanut.
232
00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:49,071
I'm allergic to peanuts.
233
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,510
Well, in that case,
fill this out and have a seat.
234
00:13:53,382 --> 00:13:55,782
All I need from you
is to give me a BAND-AID.
235
00:13:55,951 --> 00:13:57,441
I can pretend I had epinephrine.
236
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,612
Tell my friend you need to keep me
under observation for an hour.
237
00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:02,086
- Is that all you need?
- Yes.
238
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,850
Get out of my ER.
239
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,525
- No, you don't understand.
- I understand.
240
00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:10,426
But unfortunately, this hospital
is not equipped to treat stupid.
241
00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:14,333
Okay, I get it.
I know how the world works.
242
00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:20,373
How about if I were to introduce you
to the man who freed your people?
243
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,612
Unless my people were freed
by Benjamin Franklin...
244
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,512
...and his five twin brothers,
you are wasting your time.
245
00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:34,721
Hey. Sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot.
How are you doing?
246
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:36,221
Bad, very bad.
247
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,553
Really? You don't look
like you're swelling up.
248
00:14:38,727 --> 00:14:41,355
We should pick up Benadryl
at the drugstore and go home.
249
00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:42,997
- We can't go home.
- Why not?
250
00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:45,560
Because... Phbbtt!
251
00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,361
Because... Phbbtt!
252
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:49,732
Brisket. Brisket.
253
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,498
- Water, need water.
- I'll be right back.
254
00:14:58,581 --> 00:15:01,209
- Penny, listen, I've got a problem.
- Yeah, well, so do I.
255
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:04,181
- You gotta stall Leonard longer.
- I don't think I can.
256
00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:06,821
You have to.
We all have to be there to yell "surprise. "
257
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,049
You have to understand something.
We're in a hospital right now.
258
00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:11,317
Why? Is Leonard okay?
259
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:15,020
Leonard's fine. I'm fine,
thanks for asking, by the way.
260
00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:18,428
Okay, I don't need your attitude.
Just hold him there a little longer.
261
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:22,401
I've done my best, but he wants to go home
and I don't know how to stop him.
262
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:23,595
Okay, how about this?
263
00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:25,967
Keep him longer,
when you get to the party...
264
00:15:26,141 --> 00:15:28,701
...I'll point out which of my friends
are easy:
265
00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:40,286
Don't toy with me, woman.
266
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,581
I got a former fat girl
with no self-esteem.
267
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:46,023
A girl who punishes her father
by sleeping around.
268
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,961
An alcoholic who's two tequila shots
away from letting you wear her like a hat.
269
00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:53,533
Thy will be done.
270
00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:06,304
I'm doing this for you, little buddy.
271
00:16:12,154 --> 00:16:15,180
Okay, we don't have that in stock...
272
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:18,654
...but I can special-order it for you.
273
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,385
Him.
274
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:23,224
Excuse me, sir, you don't work here.
275
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:26,533
Yes, well, apparently,
neither does anyone else.
276
00:16:27,836 --> 00:16:30,066
- Sheldon, we have to go.
- Why?
277
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,207
We're late for Leonard's birthday party...
278
00:16:32,374 --> 00:16:34,899
...and for another,
I told him to call security.
279
00:16:36,178 --> 00:16:38,112
Good luck.
280
00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:42,181
By the way, a 6-year-old
could hack your computer.
281
00:16:42,351 --> 00:16:43,375
Keep walking.
282
00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:46,544
Yeah, 1234 is not a secure password.
283
00:16:48,891 --> 00:16:51,451
My friend
is having allergic reaction to peanuts.
284
00:16:51,627 --> 00:16:53,993
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
285
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,495
Look, sir, we are very busy here
and I just don't...
286
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,599
Holy crap.
287
00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:02,065
Please help me.
288
00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:04,096
Code four. I need a gurney.
289
00:17:05,307 --> 00:17:08,299
- Right away, right away.
- Thank you.
290
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:14,339
Say what you will
about healthcare in this country...
291
00:17:14,516 --> 00:17:18,179
...but when they're afraid of lawsuits,
they sure test everything.
292
00:17:18,554 --> 00:17:22,285
I really don't think
the colonoscopy was necessary.
293
00:17:24,093 --> 00:17:25,560
Before you got all swollen up...
294
00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:28,526
...I thought you're trying to keep me out
of the apartment...
295
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:30,790
...so you could throw me
a surprise party.
296
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,627
Oh, right, it's your birthday.
297
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,996
I had no idea it was your birthday.
I forgot.
298
00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:38,799
What a lousy way to spend a birthday.
Well, it's all over now.
299
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,801
There is a party, isn't there?
300
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,675
Maybe.
301
00:17:46,849 --> 00:17:48,180
Howard.
302
00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:52,414
- Are you mad?
- How could I be mad?
303
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:56,149
You actually risked your life
because you care about me.
304
00:17:57,626 --> 00:17:59,992
Yeah, that's why I did it.
305
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:05,366
All right, here we go.
306
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,997
My first birthday party.
307
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:21,672
Dude, everybody left an hour ago.
308
00:18:24,319 --> 00:18:26,014
Surprise.
309
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,150
Okay, Leonard...
310
00:18:33,328 --> 00:18:34,761
...here I am at your birthday party.
311
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:38,525
I don't know where you are, dude,
but it's really kickass.
312
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:42,727
Everyone is very, very drunk and...
Ooh, mmm.
313
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:47,439
Oh, and look,
there's a girl taking her shirt off.
314
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,339
That's my friend Carol.
315
00:18:50,512 --> 00:18:53,447
Remind me,
I gotta introduce her to Howard.
316
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:58,177
Oh, sweet Krishna,
shake that rupee maker.
317
00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:04,191
- I'm so sorry you didn't get your party.
- It's okay.
318
00:19:05,427 --> 00:19:07,861
Well, happy birthday anyways.
319
00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:18,564
Hey, Penny, when's your birthday?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
26857
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.