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1
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,952
Oh, baby, that's so good.
2
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,754
I never knew it could be like this.
3
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,030
- Al.
- Peg.
4
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,117
- Al.
- Peg.
5
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,958
Al.
6
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,071
Peg, shut up, will you?
7
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,157
I'm trying to sleep.
8
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,231
Oh, Al, I had
the most wonderful dream.
9
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,755
We were having sex.
10
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,439
Actually, I shouldn't say "we."
11
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,437
You weren't there.
12
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,559
Oh, yeah?
Then why were you calling, "Al"?
13
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,394
I wanted you
to see how it was done.
14
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,077
Mommy, I can't sleep.
Read me a story.
15
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,789
Hop on in. Come on, honey.
16
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,434
Good boy. There we go.
17
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,870
Peg, where am I supposed to sleep?
18
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,356
You know, this is why I always said
we should have a stable.
19
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,311
That would be like an invitation
for your mother to come stay with us.
20
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,919
You know, a place with straw...
21
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,793
...and a nice gate
she can rest her breasts on.
22
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:22,758
Well, I guess I'll have to go
to the only place I can truly call home.
23
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,835
Honey, you just make yourself
nice and snugly...
24
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,315
...and Mommy's gonna
find you a story.
25
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,270
Oh, well, I can't read you that.
26
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,639
Oh, I've been looking for this.
27
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,991
How did that get in there?
28
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,029
Oh, here's something.
29
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,470
How about a nice pirate story?
30
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,956
It's very exciting.
A Ship Called Passion.
31
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,674
Does it have a lot of
action and stuff?
32
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,792
Oh, yes, it does.
33
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,197
As a matter of fact, I was reading it
before I went to bed...
34
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,597
...and I had a very nice sleep.
35
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,473
Now, let's see here. Okay.
36
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,716
"The beautiful Princess Scarlet...
37
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,672
...looked o'er the bounding main...
38
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:20,429
...as she sailed from her father's
realm to meet her betrothed...
39
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,790
...Prince Paco the Magnificent...
40
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,797
...for the very first time.
41
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,470
The blue waves
lapped gently against the shore..."
42
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,557
A little problem, Peg.
43
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,555
This is a job for old Betsy.
44
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,189
Why do all plungers
have girls' names, Al?
45
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,113
Because the caveman used to hold
their women by the feet...
46
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,958
...for a job like this.
47
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,750
All right. Now, where were we?
48
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,315
"As day broke over Madagascar...
49
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,795
...so did the heart
of Princess Scarlet...
50
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:12,028
...for her ship was taken
by the vile pirate, Captain Courage."
51
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,029
The voluptuous vixenwas a prisoner...
52
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,834
...not of love, but of evil.
53
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,838
If only they were better-looking.
54
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,074
Unhand me,
you ruthless rapscallions.
55
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,838
You'll pay dearly for this.
56
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,998
My betrothed,
Prince Paco the Magnificent...
57
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,839
...will have your
social-disease-ridden hides.
58
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,508
Now, where is your captain,
that I may spit in his eye?
59
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,393
Where he goes
after every great conquest:
60
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,797
To be alone
to work on the captain's log.
61
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,195
It is I, Captain Courage.
62
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,756
I had to swing in
because it's wet back there.
63
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,355
Where is the cabin boy?
64
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,713
How may I serve you, sir?
65
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,871
You can swab the deck
in my quarters...
66
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,958
...ye of cropped hair
and dubious sexuality.
67
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,391
Aye, aye, sir.
But I seem to have lost my mop.
68
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,592
May I use your nose hairs
as bristles?
69
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,192
Mock me if you will,
oh, cabin boy-girl.
70
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,913
Now, go, before I make you
walk the plank.
71
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,192
Or should I say, walk yourself?
72
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,757
I sense you are threatened
by my androgyny.
73
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,475
Perhaps it is that encounter that you
had with your strange uncle pirate...
74
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:50,908
...that haunteth you.
75
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,710
I am not gay.
76
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,631
Any man can
live with his mother till he's 40.
77
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,553
Captain...
78
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,911
...the men would like
a shot at Big Red.
79
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,628
Please, no.
80
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,198
Not now, Wilbur.
81
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,949
Methinks that Scarlet will bring
a bigger ransom as a virgin.
82
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,993
But these wenches are fair game.
83
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,670
And as usual, the first choice
goes to my first mate...
84
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,075
...FIoovio the Handsome.
Ho, Floovio.
85
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,676
Hello, me pretties.
86
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:40,274
It's time to partake of a hot flagon
of Floovio. You there.
87
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:45,392
How would you like to play a game
of Hide the Hooters with Floovio?
88
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,073
Come, wenches.
89
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,669
Kiss me or kiss the sharks.
90
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,509
Floovio, how many times do I have
to tell you? Don't give them a choice.
91
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,473
Let us flee these waters...
92
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,911
...infested by my mortal enemy,
Rubio the Cruel.
93
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,912
We'll sail for our hideaway...
94
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,476
...where girls do our wishes
for bags filled with fishes.
95
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,151
Where is the ship's navigator?
96
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,199
Here, Captain Daddy.
97
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,590
I was playing fetch
with Long John Buck...
98
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,631
...and I forgot we were at sea.
99
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,155
Navigator, we're sailing
to our hideout. Do your job.
100
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,595
Okey-dokey, Captain Daddy.
101
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,597
Now, in case of an emergency,
please use the exits clearly marked...
102
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,473
...on the port and starboard
sides of the ship.
103
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,557
And in case of a water landing...
104
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,035
...FIoovio has many
delightful flotation devices...
105
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,196
...already blown up in his cabin.
106
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,796
But please, don't grab their chests,
for the plastic is wearing thin.
107
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,758
Scarlet felt despaircreep over her body like the fog...
108
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,190
...or was that Black Bob?
109
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,471
"Either way, she held firm...
110
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,831
...saving her purity
for Paco the Magnificent."
111
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,996
It's worse than I thought in there.
112
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,512
It got old Betsy.
113
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,674
This is a job
for old Betsy's mother...
114
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,957
...real old Betsy.
115
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,317
I'm going in.
116
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,550
This time, it's personal.
117
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,878
Okay.
118
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:05,790
"Later that day, as the welcoming sun
caressed the curvaceous princess...
119
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,549
...she found herself alone
with Captain Courage."
120
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,718
I wanted to hate that manand his rascal ways...
121
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,798
...but after a while,I discovered something about him:
122
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:20,755
A zest for life, a je ne sais quoi
that was hard to resist.
123
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,349
The days became endlessand I became dizzy with wonder.
124
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,788
Where was I?
125
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,594
Where was Prince Paco,my fearless rescuer?
126
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,510
Where was the Domino's Pizza ship?
127
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,076
Thirty days or less, my ass.
128
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,391
My senses were reeling.
129
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,309
On the ship of madness,I yearned for a voice of reason.
130
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,391
Land ho!
131
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,159
Funny-looking land.
132
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,636
Made of wood, sails, oars.
133
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,513
Oh, and a big steering thing,
just like us.
134
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,756
My goof. It was a ship.
135
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,269
Then, as I looked up,something golden struck my eye.
136
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,959
I thought it was the sun...
137
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,073
...but it was the golden maneof Prince Paco the Magnificent.
138
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,351
Damn wind.
139
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,990
You there, find the dastardly
Captain Courage...
140
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,829
...and bring him here that he might pay
for abducting my bride-to-be...
141
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,077
...and causing me this uneven tan.
142
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,991
Though he did not know who I was...
143
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,191
...he was drawn to me like magic.
144
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:10,634
By your fiery hair
and your bodacious frame...
145
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:15,072
...you could be the only one
to tell me where my fair Scarlet is.
146
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,833
'Tis I,
you hunka hunka burning hair.
147
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,716
I am your fair Scarlet.
148
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:27,757
Well, I guess I could handle you.
149
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,798
Many have died trying.
150
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,355
That's why I'm still a virgin.
151
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,676
But let's give it a go.
152
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,192
Watch it, now.
153
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,868
How dare you disturb me
while I was perusing my copy...
154
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,469
...of Seagoing C-Cups.
155
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,436
Prince Paco, sir, may I remind you
you have a 3:00 at the beauty parlor.
156
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,278
Set sail!
157
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,550
We are deep in the waters
of Rubio the Cruel...
158
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,513
...who would stop at nothing
to cop our precious cargo.
159
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,995
And soon...
Soon we shall kill this Philistine...
160
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,236
...in a manner
befitting the way he lives.
161
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,556
Nothing will bother me as long as you
do not take me away from the sea...
162
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,990
...and saddle me with a wife
that doth not work...
163
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,395
...and kids that whilst not
leave the ship.
164
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,272
How about we cut off your head
and feed it to the maggots?
165
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,633
Better.
166
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,517
With the dangerous Captain Couragetied to the mast...
167
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,551
...and Paco by my side...
168
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,116
...the threat of Rubio the Cruelseemed far away.
169
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,515
My prince bared his soul to me.
170
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,554
He could talk for hoursabout his deepest passions.
171
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,796
I'm a natural blond.
172
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,912
It's really healthy. No split ends.
173
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,554
All it takes is a hundred strokes
a day. That's the ticket.
174
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,432
One, two...
175
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,279
What womanwouldn't want this man?
176
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,353
But if he was trulythe man of my dreams...
177
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,710
...why was I haunted by memories...
178
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,629
...of my days and nightsof Captain Courage?
179
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,435
But still, I was promisedto Prince Paco.
180
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,232
I couldn't break his heart.
181
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,034
It was obvious he loved me so.
182
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,991
Hey, Floovio.
183
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,630
Boy, I sure would like some of that.
184
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,472
What is it?
185
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,273
It is the cabin boy-girl, sir.
186
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,753
Oh, I am smitten
by that boyish kitten.
187
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,155
Ahoy, cabin boy.
188
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,989
I am strangely attracted to you
and your dubious sexuality.
189
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:18,479
And I to you and your easy,
pretty-boy manner.
190
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:22,514
So let me remove all doubt
and prove to you that I'm no boy.
191
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,553
How?
192
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,520
Look closer, you idiot!
193
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,992
Land ho!
194
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,554
I hope this doesn't
come out of my paycheck.
195
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,554
It was him, the demon of the seas...
196
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,034
...the dagger of deceit...
197
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,038
...the hardest-working piratein show business...
198
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,231
...Rubio the Cruel.
199
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,549
Ahoy, me mates.
It is I, Rubio the Cruel.
200
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,835
But enough good cheer.
201
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,710
Men, hide your women.
Women, hide your heinies.
202
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,354
For I'll bring you the unique
musical styling...
203
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,676
...of Rubio the Cruel.
204
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,074
Rubettes!
205
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,710
Now we all know
why he's called Rubio the Cruel.
206
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,074
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
207
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,077
You've been a wonderful audience...
208
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,716
...but now it's time to kill some people
and marry the princess.
209
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,115
Any objections,
you seagoing weenie?
210
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,108
Kill him, Paco. Rip his guts out.
211
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,595
Show him what I mean to you, baby.
212
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,395
I would, but I'm wearing
my good clothes.
213
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:07,674
Besides, I am
strangely attracted to this.
214
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,678
This girl. This girl.
215
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,871
Who wants to see?
216
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,476
Prepare my virgin.
217
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,354
Not that one.
I haven't been at sea that long.
218
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,189
I meant the red goddess.
219
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,879
You're not taking me anywhere.
220
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,036
I'm not gonna
spend one moment with you.
221
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,312
Not with that voice
and that limited repertoire.
222
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,073
Who's next?
223
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,156
Now, nothing will stop me from
marrying you, collecting your dowry...
224
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,510
...having my way with you
and killing you.
225
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,029
Not necessarily in that order.
226
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,791
Can this be my fate?
227
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,516
Married to a man who would butcherboth me and Gilbert and Sullivan?
228
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,960
Only one could save me...
229
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,912
...but he wasn't here.
230
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,269
Captain, save me,
and I will be your woman.
231
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,870
The sea and my girlie magazines
are my woman.
232
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,479
Yes, but can the sea
and your magazines...
233
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,272
...cook and clean for you?
234
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,517
I will. I just love that stuff.
235
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,039
Yeah?
236
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,958
And are you really a virgin?
237
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,550
As sure as I love cooking
and cleaning.
238
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,516
Well, what about kids?
I don't want no kids.
239
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,392
You don't have to worry about that.
240
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,477
I'll be too busy earning us a living...
241
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,513
...and bringing you kegs of ale
to have children.
242
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,598
Scarlet, you is my woman.
243
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,078
I can't break these chains.
244
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,157
Cabin boy-girl, come.
245
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,793
Show him your bosoms.
246
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,433
Verily, your flatness saved the day.
247
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,389
Floovio, my blade.
248
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,032
Cruel, hold on now.
249
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,233
If you want this woman,
you must go through me.
250
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,637
Let's rock.
251
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,391
You're making me look bad
in front of my woman.
252
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,877
At least she doesn't have to
look at the bits of corn in your teeth.
253
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,954
That corn is my teeth.
254
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,393
For that, you die.
255
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,034
You fool.
256
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,755
I was taught to fight by the greatest
teachers in the finest schools.
257
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,315
Yeah? Well, I was taught how to fight
in the street.
258
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,830
And Princess Scarletlived happily ever after.
259
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,872
He, on the other hand,was not interesting ever again.
260
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,230
Get up, honey. Now go to bed.
261
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,919
Good boy. Go on.
262
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,315
Take me, Captain Courage!
263
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,748
Who?
264
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,632
Why?
265
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,149
Peg, no!
20507
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