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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,399 --> 00:00:03,569 Last week on Little Dog, Mom did it... she actually did it! 2 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,572 - What's with the outfit? - I can marry whoever the hell I want to! 3 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:08,379 She married the Devereaux creep! 4 00:00:08,380 --> 00:00:10,080 Although she made it clear that I was still... 5 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:12,100 - My best man. - Having been challenged 6 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:13,620 by Little Turk to a real fight... 7 00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:15,981 because Tommy killed Little Turk's father in the ring. 8 00:00:16,010 --> 00:00:17,039 And the fight could be a big one, 9 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,752 so Tucker partnered up with Smallwood... 10 00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:21,739 Turns out this shameful little fight I got coming up 11 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:23,120 is pretty lucrative. 12 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,590 Tommy says he'll buy Mom's house back for her. 13 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,161 Yeah, sure he will. He wasn't even invited to the wedding! 14 00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:31,820 OK. 15 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,000 So everyone's clear on what we're going to say to Mom today? 16 00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:38,979 Listen, fat chance Lowly Jr. is going to go against her. 17 00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,980 He will. He better. 18 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,070 We have to gang up on her, so she can't hide. 19 00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,060 Look, if it's in Mom's best interest, 20 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,819 I'll say anything. 21 00:00:46,820 --> 00:00:48,700 Isn't it a little late for an intervention? 22 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,100 She already married Devereaux. 23 00:00:51,220 --> 00:00:53,640 Yeah, but now she's had a few nights 24 00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:57,800 to really wallow in the horror of being married to him, so... 25 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,320 Do you guys think they, uh... 26 00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:01,960 [CLICKS TONGUE] ... consummated the... 27 00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:04,830 - [ALL]: No! - Christ! 28 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,400 Which is why we still have time. It's not too late. 29 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,900 - We can annul this marriage. - Ginny, 30 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,705 just remind me... why do we care? 31 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,940 'Cause she's our mother, and she's lost her mind 32 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,800 since she lost the house. 33 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,310 So we just gotta talk a little sense into her. 34 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:23,448 I don't know. That castle sounds pretty sweet. 35 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,000 Mom can put up with a lot. 36 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,900 No, we have to break her. 37 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,179 So, yeah, I'll just sort of reduce her 38 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,999 to a sniveling pile on the floor 39 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,160 and then build her back up. It's actually quite simple. 40 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,930 Is this piss all over the floor? 41 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,797 - Wasn't me. - Yeah, it was the boy. 42 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,600 What? He never hits the bowl. 43 00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,639 Every single time he goes. 44 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,599 That's what you get for not having a dad around. 45 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,560 - He had Rico. - Exactly. 46 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,499 It's a wonder he can hit the bowl when he's sitting on it. 47 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,509 He doesn't have bad aim. 48 00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:56,040 He has a... a hypospadias penis. 49 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,080 - What in the fuck is that? - It's not a big deal, 50 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,820 it just means that there's a slit instead of a hole 51 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:05,157 where the pee comes out. It makes him a sloppy pee-er. 52 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,693 If I'd been around, I'd know this already, 53 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,180 wouldn't I, 'cause I would've changed his diaper 54 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,699 and it would've been all hanging out for everybody to see. 55 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,902 Now he's five, I can't very well go up to him and say: 56 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:20,038 "Hey, let me see your dick", 'cause it's creepy. 57 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:24,042 I'm serious, Pam. I would've liked to know, 58 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,570 you know, scientific things. 59 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,600 - Want me to draw it for you? - It's not the same. 60 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,099 How are we gonna get Mom to agree 61 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,200 to go to one of Ginny's stupid seminars? 62 00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:34,880 She's not gonna go if she knows we're gonna gang up on her. 63 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,899 No, of course not. That's why you're telling her 64 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,160 we're gonna gang up on Tommy. 65 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:41,259 Yeah, she's not gonna want to miss that. 66 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,540 Cassius, you finish this off. Try not to arse it up. 67 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,260 Your uncle Lowly gotta go on a rescue mission. 68 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:54,440 69 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,270 Tommy Ross. 70 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,960 You are the rotten apple 71 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:03,480 in a basket full of sweet, crisp apples. 72 00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:06,600 And you've spread your rot, so that now, 73 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,550 all the apples in the basket are bad. 74 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,823 That's good. That's very powerful. 75 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,825 Can I make one note? 76 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,920 - Go ahead. - I don't think 77 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:19,230 that all of the apples are necessarily bad. 78 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,366 Me, for example. 79 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,580 I can't help but feel that his rot 80 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,560 - hasn't touched me yet. - What I'm trying to say 81 00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:28,607 is that he has negatively affected our family. 82 00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:30,260 Oh, yes, and I agree on that point, but... 83 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,870 Maybe I should say that he's the black sheep of the family 84 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,280 and that he doesn't belong. 85 00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:38,249 Yeah, that's probably racist. 86 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:41,119 I mean, sheep of all colours can graze together. 87 00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,920 Why don't you write it? 88 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,590 How are you going to get him to come to this thing, anyway? 89 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,326 Oh, he thinks it's an attack on you. 90 00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:51,260 Oh, well, then he'll be first at the door, won't he? 91 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,520 Mrs. Devereaux! 92 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,660 - Shall we go? - Ha, ha, ha! 93 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,668 Sorry, sir, you must be mistaken. 94 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,705 This seminar is for Ross family members only. 95 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,807 I am married to your mother. 96 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:06,011 That gets me a free pass, young man. 97 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:10,380 - Is that true? - You were at the wedding, Lowly. 98 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,018 No, I mean can he still go to the seminar 99 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,980 even though technically he's not a Ross family member? 100 00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:16,419 I don't think he's invited. 101 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,740 Look, the man is going to die any day soon, 102 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,380 - so suck it up. - Yeah, about that... 103 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,094 did you see the medical records where they says he's dying? 104 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,030 Of course I did. 105 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,332 Do you think I'm a fool? 106 00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,570 [SOBBING LOUDLY] 107 00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,980 OK, so... 108 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,050 what we're gonna do is, before we dive right in, 109 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,750 I want you each to go around the room 110 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,110 and look at each other in the eyes 111 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,927 for five seconds in silence, OK? 112 00:04:55,963 --> 00:05:00,400 In silence. I want you to really see the humanity 113 00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:02,660 behind the hatred. 114 00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:06,340 And the hatred behind the humanity, 'cause we are both. 115 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,408 - Begin! - OK... 116 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:13,111 Go look at someone in the eyes! 117 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,959 What? What is wrong? 118 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,860 - No talking. - OK, is the... 119 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,439 staring supposed to be glaring, 120 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,579 - 'cause... - There's. No. Talking. 121 00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:28,220 OK. 122 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,164 We were fine five minutes ago. 123 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,966 Whoa, whoa, why'd you stop looking at me to look at Tommy? 124 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:38,160 - Just moving on. - Ha! Don't look at me, 125 00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:40,572 - skip right over to Dad. - Did you look at me? 126 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,375 I didn't see. Ginny, can we start again? 127 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,620 I don't think it's appropriate that you continue 128 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,512 to look adoringly at my wife! 129 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,260 I'll look at whoever the hell I want to look at, 130 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,185 - but I won't be looking at you. - Come on, OK. 131 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,299 [ALL TALKING AT THE SAME TIME] 132 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,160 Mom? 133 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,825 - Will you back off? - [AIR HORN] 134 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,929 Jesus Christ, OK? Thank you. 135 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,539 [TIME OF THE SEASON BY THE ZOMBIES PLAYING] 136 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,760 Where's Chesley? 137 00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:16,660 What's your name? Who's your daddy? 138 00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:20,460 Is he rich like me? 139 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,880 Has he taken any time 140 00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:30,560 To show you what you need to live? 141 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,550 Uh, hello? 142 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,427 Anyone home? 143 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,940 I really want to know 144 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:41,200 It's the time of the season 145 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:45,237 For loving 146 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,639 Yeah, well, I'm on this three-day juice cleanse, so... 147 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,079 You'd rather be peeing all night 148 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,680 than having a bowl of my pudding? 149 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,540 Well, the thing... 150 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,584 Hello? 151 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,787 Hello, what are you doing here? 152 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,720 - Do you know this person? - You're that Ross kid. 153 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:08,320 You broke into my house? 154 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:11,062 - I'm going to call the police. - Um... 155 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:14,332 He knows me. We're connected. 156 00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:16,340 - Kevin, what is he talking about? - I don't know. 157 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,700 We're related. My mom 158 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,806 didn't want to tell you that, um... 159 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,476 I'm your son 160 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,878 and you're my... 161 00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:29,000 dad. 162 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,380 OK. OK. 163 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:45,162 So. 164 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:48,566 Families are dysfunctional, right? 165 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,699 Usually, the source of the dysfunction 166 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,200 is hard to track down. 167 00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:56,300 That's what we're gonna do here today. 168 00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:58,320 - I'll go first. - No, I'll go first... 169 00:07:58,370 --> 00:07:59,999 Can you see how we're gonna spin for it? 170 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,159 'Cause I just dragged this thing over here 171 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,882 with the names on it, yeah? OK, so... 172 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,491 - Lowly Jr. - [APPLAUSE] 173 00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,680 Go for it, Lo. 174 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,730 I was born first, 175 00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,900 and I came into the world happy. 176 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,405 I believe that first year, Dad was in jail, or missing. 177 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,680 - In jail. - It was just me and Mom. 178 00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:31,559 From what I recall and those stories, 179 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,639 Mom was a little unhinged that first year. 180 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,790 Yeah, and every year after. 181 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:39,610 Because, as it turns out, Dad had knocked her up 182 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,949 about a month after I was born, before he went MIA. 183 00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:45,500 That poor woman, 184 00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:47,320 - she's suffered through so much misery... - Um, 185 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,140 stay focused, Lowly. 186 00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:51,893 From the moment Dad's sperm fused with Mom's egg 187 00:08:51,894 --> 00:08:53,359 to make a zygote that would one day 188 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,234 develop into the scourge of this family 189 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,969 known as Thomas Edward Ross. No offense, Tommy. 190 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,971 - Yeah! - Well said, Lowly. 191 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:03,341 Lo, I need you to... Remember what we talked about? 192 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,643 No, Tommy. Just a few more things. 193 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,946 Thank you. 194 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:13,849 And all that brings me back to my initial point, 195 00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,740 which is that Mom is a saint, 196 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,220 and Tommy, even though you are my brother, 197 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,120 well, truth be told, 198 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,320 I think we would all be better off if you were never born. 199 00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,535 Fuckin' horrible. 200 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,206 Ginny, that's me! Oh, wow, OK. 201 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,875 God, where do I even start? 202 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,678 OK, jeez. Mom, you're driving me crazy! 203 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,260 I mean, you always drive me crazy, 204 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,700 but particularly in the last few weeks you've been living with me. 205 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,885 You're just so bossy and rude 206 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,287 - and demanding... - I agree! 207 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,600 And that is another reason why Tommy is such a scourge. 208 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,560 He lost my house and he tried to drive a wedge 209 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:58,630 between us. We were always so close. 210 00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,460 Do you remember when you were a little girl, 211 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,660 we used to dress the same 212 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,039 and I'd put your hair in two little pigtails. 213 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,500 And then I had to stop... 214 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:06,619 Yeah, because Tommy pulled them hard 215 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,320 and gave me that big bald spot. 216 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,076 [WHEEL SPINNING] 217 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,060 I mean, I came here to vent my frustrations about Sylvia, 218 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,316 but now that I'm here, honestly, she was the one person 219 00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:20,359 who kept in touch with me the whole time that 220 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,980 Tommy froze me out, so... 221 00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,770 Yes, Tommy paints her in a really negative light, 222 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:29,240 which can be confusing, but at the end of the day, 223 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,350 Sylvia's not a bad person, 224 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,579 and Tommy, you sometimes... 225 00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:37,260 don't give her enough credit. 226 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,071 - Sorry. - [APPLAUSE] 227 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,020 And I feel my marriage failed 228 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:46,319 because too often I took Tommy's side 229 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,339 when I shouldn't have. 230 00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:49,920 When I look back on it, 231 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:53,080 I think that Tommy manipulated me to take his side. 232 00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:56,639 I never should have gone against you, Sylvia. 233 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,460 Please, please, 234 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,794 - give me another chance. - Christ, can I please get a turn? 235 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,499 - Finally. - Chesley, there you are. 236 00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:10,000 - Wait, hang on, what's going on here? - You lied to me. 237 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,779 You told me that Smallwood was my father. 238 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:13,790 Ha, ha, ha! 239 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,908 And you fell for it? Ha, ha, ha! 240 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,110 Did you never look into a mirror? 241 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,446 You're as white as the driven snow! 242 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,030 - OK, sometimes it's hard to tell. - If you're black, 243 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,580 - you can tell. - I couldn't tell. 244 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,213 Ches, I'm sorry I lied to you. 245 00:11:27,214 --> 00:11:29,720 OK, I wanted to give you something to believe in, 246 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,259 right, like Santa. 247 00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:33,480 Remember how much you enjoyed believing in Santa? 248 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,293 Tell the youngster who his father is. It's abusive. 249 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,199 Who cares who the father is? I'm sick of this father shit, 250 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,640 it's out of control. If you sneeze and I catch a cold, 251 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,209 do you try to say half the cold is yours? 252 00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,320 Do you pay for half my codeine prescription? 253 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,520 No! You walk away. I suffer alone. Jesus. 254 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,740 Are you calling me a sneeze? 255 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,019 I'm calling you a cold. 256 00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,060 - It's a metaphor. - Ginny, 257 00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:54,759 just tell us who the father is, OK? 258 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,081 You know what? This seminar's over. 259 00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,415 No, no, no. I didn't even get a turn. 260 00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:02,549 - Lowly, get her legs. - Chesley! Lowly! 261 00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:03,840 [GRUNTING] 262 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,680 Own your own asshole, isn't that what you say? 263 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,470 Quit hiding your shame, 264 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,095 - face the truth. - Stop being a family cancer. 265 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,232 - Get off! - Mom, 266 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,768 I love you, but if you don't tell me, 267 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,437 I won't ever speak to you again. 268 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,240 Quit it, Ginny, come on. 269 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:26,244 Alright! Alright, alright, alright! 270 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:31,249 Chesley, I will tell you. I just don't want to tell him yet, 271 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,380 so can we speak privately, please? 272 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,587 Don't wanna tell who? Smallwood? 273 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:39,324 - Or is my dad in the room? - Oh, God, 274 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,700 just shoot me in the fucking face, please. 275 00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:45,660 No, Ches, there's nobody here except family and Smallwood. 276 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,238 And Devereaux. 277 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:58,540 Jesus Christ, Ginny. 278 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,920 What are they talking about? 279 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:03,748 My God! 280 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,200 - It's Devereaux! - Yes, that's right. 281 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:10,460 I did have relations with her once, many years ago. 282 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,019 I was very drunk 283 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,080 - at the time. - I was drunk. I was so drunk. 284 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,529 He was a lot more put together back then. 285 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,731 It was Tommy's fault! Tommy was supposed to pick me up 286 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,500 and he didn't show, so what am I gonna do? 287 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,750 It was either sleep in a lobster pot, or Devereaux's bed. 288 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,973 - Tommy, man. - First my daughter, and now my wife! 289 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,309 You're a dead man! 290 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:35,120 You're gonna have to get your stomach pumped to scratch your balls! 291 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:37,515 [GRUNTING] 292 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:40,700 OK. This was fascinating. Can we go? 293 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,180 - I have to use the washroom. - Now? 294 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,840 It's the cleanse. 295 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:47,940 [GRUNTING] 296 00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:56,459 How dare you marry me, 297 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,270 knowing you had sex with my daughter? 298 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,020 You look so young, 299 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,340 I think of you both as sisters. 300 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,800 If you think stupid flattery works on me, 301 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,870 you have a very disappointing few months ahead of ya. 302 00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:11,549 Mrs. Devereaux, please... 303 00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,539 Remember, I am dying. 304 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:16,880 Oh, you don't need to remind me. Lowly, 305 00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:18,539 go get some tissue for that nose, 306 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:19,825 you're bleeding all over your shirt. 307 00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,260 Hm? Oh. 308 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,500 You all right, Ches? 309 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,449 Yeah. I just thought I was half-black, 310 00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:35,039 but it turns out I'm half-British and half-old. 311 00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:39,970 Well, listen, 312 00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:43,400 biology's got nothing to do with life, alright? 313 00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,600 Didn't they teach you that in school? 314 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,340 Soon enough now you'll be able to cut loose on your own 315 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,100 and you can go be whoever 316 00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:54,439 or whatever you want to be, 317 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,662 regardless of who your father is. You hear me? 318 00:14:58,380 --> 00:14:59,699 Yeah. 319 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,533 It's not gonna be a big thing. 320 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,530 Auntie, let's go. 321 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,873 Ginny, goodbye. Good luck with your... seminar thing. 322 00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:11,240 Aaaugh! 323 00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:14,780 WTF, man? 324 00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:18,420 D'you ever hear, "Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie?" 325 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,550 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 326 00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:23,280 I was in a rush and I got this condition 327 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:26,860 - with my equipment... - It's the hypospadias penis. 328 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,892 - Auntie, please... - It's the Smallwood 329 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,660 family curse. It's genetic. 330 00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:34,080 Genetic? 331 00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,500 But I don't have it. 332 00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:38,360 No... 333 00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:42,100 How does Cassius have it if it's genetic? 334 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,499 Cassius has a hypospadias penis? 335 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,640 - I don't think it's that, exactly... - No, it is. 336 00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:49,313 That's exactly what you called it. 337 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,582 You and I... 338 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,069 That night after the marketing course, 339 00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:56,120 we had a couple drinks, it was... 340 00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:58,440 right before you started dating Rico. 341 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,180 You had sex with Smallwood? 342 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,659 What's going on? 343 00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:05,199 What's happening? Pamela! 344 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,560 OK, alright, 345 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,059 let me just set the record straight. OK? 346 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:11,799 I never actually said 347 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,620 - that Tommy was Cassius's father. - Yes, you did. 348 00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,740 - Excuse me? - No, no, you did. 349 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:20,000 I just never said that he wasn't. 350 00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,680 So he's not mine? 351 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,820 [SYLVIA]: Well, 352 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,490 she's played us all for fools, hasn't she? 353 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,360 Poor youngster. 354 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:37,060 Is he mine? 355 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,899 Do not get excited until you see 356 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:42,160 - the paternity results. Let's go. - Pamela, I'll be in touch. 357 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,030 - I hope it's true. - Move. 358 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,406 This is very exciting. 359 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,260 Well, that's the end of the seminar. 360 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:01,850 Thanks for coming, everyone. Fuck. 361 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,530 Oh, Sylvia... 362 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,066 You said tonight would be the night. 363 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,059 That was before I found out 364 00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:21,220 you slept with my daughter, wasn't it? 365 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,677 Will you ever forgive me? 366 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,881 I haven't decided yet. 367 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,816 Good night. 368 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,418 Good night... 369 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,487 Good night. 370 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,193 Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. 371 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,400 Chesley? 372 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:53,700 Are you in here? 373 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,674 No. 374 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,570 I'm sorry. Come on. 375 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,381 You and Pamela shouldn't be allowed to have kids. 376 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,980 Mothers aren't supposed to lie. 377 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,650 Mothers can be whatever the fuck they want. 378 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,120 And I'm not the same as Pamela. 379 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,060 This is the worst thing that you could do to someone. 380 00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:18,739 Ches, the day you were born 381 00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:20,740 was the very best day of my life. 382 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,380 And I swore from that day on 383 00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:27,199 that I would protect you 384 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,080 from anyone who might ever 385 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,409 make you feel like you were less than perfect, 386 00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,420 'cause you're perfect. 387 00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:37,980 I didn't want to give stupid Devereaux 388 00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:41,285 the chance to reject you. Just anything, 389 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,621 you know? 390 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:46,624 I wanted to be enough. 391 00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,961 I guess I'm not. 392 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,197 Guess you're not. 393 00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,037 Well, then... 394 00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:04,280 I will just have to love Burger Baby. 395 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:08,646 It will just be me and that burger baby 396 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:13,317 'Cause my burger baby, he'll always love me 397 00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:16,060 'Cause he's just a little burger baby 398 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,600 Come on! 399 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,899 Love me like Burger Baby loves me, please! 400 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,620 - Don't! - Love me like Burger Baby! 401 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,100 Well, now I'm hungry 402 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:27,465 and I want burgers. You want burgers? 403 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,468 I think we got, like, three frozen ones left. 404 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,237 - Sure. - Yes! 405 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,910 [SOFT MUSIC] 406 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:47,318 [SIGHING] 407 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,400 I'm sorry. 408 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,361 I just wanted it to be true. 409 00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,898 You don't know what you put me through 410 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,035 And I know you wanted it, too. 411 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,438 I know you think that I am a horrible person, 412 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,174 but... 413 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:14,460 Tommy, look at my life. 414 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,720 I just... 415 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,979 so wanted him to come into the world 416 00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:22,386 with two parents who really loved each other, not... 417 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,200 [BLOWING AIR HORN] 418 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:31,328 Not some stupid rebound thing. 419 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,230 [BLOWING AIR HORN] 420 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,468 I know you're mad. 421 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,606 But... 422 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,076 I am really willing to work on things. 423 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,345 OK? Because... 424 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,280 I really do actually love you... 425 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:54,752 - [BLOWING AIR HORN] - I really love you! 426 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,890 Even though you're an asshole! 427 00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,893 Yeah you don't know 428 00:21:02,950 --> 00:21:06,163 What you put me through 429 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:13,160 430 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:17,742 You don't know why I'm on the ground 431 00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:23,547 I've been sitting here since you let me down 432 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:29,220 No more girl can mold this frown 433 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,190 You don't know why I'm on the ground 434 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,790 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31917

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