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Last week on Little Dog, Mom
did it... she actually did it!
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00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,572
- What's with the outfit?
- I can marry whoever the hell I want to!
3
00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:08,379
She married the Devereaux creep!
4
00:00:08,380 --> 00:00:10,080
Although she made it
clear that I was still...
5
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:12,100
- My best man.
- Having been challenged
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00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:13,620
by Little Turk to a real fight...
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00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:15,981
because Tommy killed Little
Turk's father in the ring.
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And the fight could be a big one,
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00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,752
so Tucker partnered
up with Smallwood...
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00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:21,739
Turns out this shameful
little fight I got coming up
11
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:23,120
is pretty lucrative.
12
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,590
Tommy says he'll buy Mom's
house back for her.
13
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,161
Yeah, sure he will. He wasn't
even invited to the wedding!
14
00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:31,820
OK.
15
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,000
So everyone's clear on what we're
going to say to Mom today?
16
00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:38,979
Listen, fat chance Lowly Jr.
is going to go against her.
17
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,980
He will. He better.
18
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,070
We have to gang up on
her, so she can't hide.
19
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,060
Look, if it's in Mom's best interest,
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I'll say anything.
21
00:00:46,820 --> 00:00:48,700
Isn't it a little late
for an intervention?
22
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,100
She already married Devereaux.
23
00:00:51,220 --> 00:00:53,640
Yeah, but now she's had a few nights
24
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:57,800
to really wallow in the horror
of being married to him, so...
25
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,320
Do you guys think they, uh...
26
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:01,960
[CLICKS TONGUE] ... consummated the...
27
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:04,830
- [ALL]: No!
- Christ!
28
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,400
Which is why we still have
time. It's not too late.
29
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,900
- We can annul this marriage.
- Ginny,
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00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,705
just remind me... why do we care?
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'Cause she's our mother,
and she's lost her mind
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since she lost the house.
33
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,310
So we just gotta talk a
little sense into her.
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00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:23,448
I don't know. That castle
sounds pretty sweet.
35
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,000
Mom can put up with a lot.
36
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,900
No, we have to break her.
37
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,179
So, yeah, I'll just sort of reduce her
38
00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,999
to a sniveling pile on the floor
39
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,160
and then build her back up.
It's actually quite simple.
40
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,930
Is this piss all over the floor?
41
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,797
- Wasn't me.
- Yeah, it was the boy.
42
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,600
What? He never hits the bowl.
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Every single time he goes.
44
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That's what you get for
not having a dad around.
45
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,560
- He had Rico.
- Exactly.
46
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It's a wonder he can hit the
bowl when he's sitting on it.
47
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He doesn't have bad aim.
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00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:56,040
He has a... a hypospadias penis.
49
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,080
- What in the fuck is that?
- It's not a big deal,
50
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,820
it just means that there's
a slit instead of a hole
51
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:05,157
where the pee comes out. It
makes him a sloppy pee-er.
52
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,693
If I'd been around, I'd
know this already,
53
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,180
wouldn't I, 'cause I
would've changed his diaper
54
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,699
and it would've been all hanging
out for everybody to see.
55
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,902
Now he's five, I can't very
well go up to him and say:
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00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:20,038
"Hey, let me see your
dick", 'cause it's creepy.
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00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:24,042
I'm serious, Pam. I
would've liked to know,
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00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,570
you know, scientific things.
59
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,600
- Want me to draw it for you?
- It's not the same.
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00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,099
How are we gonna get Mom to agree
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00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,200
to go to one of Ginny's stupid seminars?
62
00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:34,880
She's not gonna go if she knows
we're gonna gang up on her.
63
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,899
No, of course not. That's
why you're telling her
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00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,160
we're gonna gang up on Tommy.
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00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:41,259
Yeah, she's not gonna want to miss that.
66
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,540
Cassius, you finish this off.
Try not to arse it up.
67
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,260
Your uncle Lowly gotta
go on a rescue mission.
68
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:54,440
69
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,270
Tommy Ross.
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00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,960
You are the rotten apple
71
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:03,480
in a basket full of sweet, crisp apples.
72
00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:06,600
And you've spread your rot, so that now,
73
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,550
all the apples in the basket are bad.
74
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,823
That's good. That's very powerful.
75
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,825
Can I make one note?
76
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,920
- Go ahead.
- I don't think
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00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:19,230
that all of the apples
are necessarily bad.
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00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,366
Me, for example.
79
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,580
I can't help but feel that his rot
80
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,560
- hasn't touched me yet.
- What I'm trying to say
81
00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:28,607
is that he has negatively
affected our family.
82
00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:30,260
Oh, yes, and I agree
on that point, but...
83
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,870
Maybe I should say that he's
the black sheep of the family
84
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,280
and that he doesn't belong.
85
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:38,249
Yeah, that's probably racist.
86
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:41,119
I mean, sheep of all
colours can graze together.
87
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,920
Why don't you write it?
88
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,590
How are you going to get him
to come to this thing, anyway?
89
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:48,326
Oh, he thinks it's an attack on you.
90
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:51,260
Oh, well, then he'll be first
at the door, won't he?
91
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,520
Mrs. Devereaux!
92
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,660
- Shall we go?
- Ha, ha, ha!
93
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,668
Sorry, sir, you must be mistaken.
94
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,705
This seminar is for Ross
family members only.
95
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,807
I am married to your mother.
96
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:06,011
That gets me a free pass, young man.
97
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:10,380
- Is that true?
- You were at the wedding, Lowly.
98
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,018
No, I mean can he still
go to the seminar
99
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,980
even though technically he's
not a Ross family member?
100
00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:16,419
I don't think he's invited.
101
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,740
Look, the man is going
to die any day soon,
102
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,380
- so suck it up.
- Yeah, about that...
103
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,094
did you see the medical records
where they says he's dying?
104
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,030
Of course I did.
105
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,332
Do you think I'm a fool?
106
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,570
[SOBBING LOUDLY]
107
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,980
OK, so...
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00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,050
what we're gonna do is,
before we dive right in,
109
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,750
I want you each to go around the room
110
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,110
and look at each other in the eyes
111
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,927
for five seconds in silence, OK?
112
00:04:55,963 --> 00:05:00,400
In silence. I want you to
really see the humanity
113
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:02,660
behind the hatred.
114
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:06,340
And the hatred behind the
humanity, 'cause we are both.
115
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,408
- Begin!
- OK...
116
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:13,111
Go look at someone in the eyes!
117
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,959
What? What is wrong?
118
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,860
- No talking.
- OK, is the...
119
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,439
staring supposed to be glaring,
120
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,579
- 'cause...
- There's. No. Talking.
121
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:28,220
OK.
122
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,164
We were fine five minutes ago.
123
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,966
Whoa, whoa, why'd you stop
looking at me to look at Tommy?
124
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:38,160
- Just moving on.
- Ha! Don't look at me,
125
00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:40,572
- skip right over to Dad.
- Did you look at me?
126
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,375
I didn't see. Ginny, can we start again?
127
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,620
I don't think it's appropriate
that you continue
128
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,512
to look adoringly at my wife!
129
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,260
I'll look at whoever the
hell I want to look at,
130
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,185
- but I won't be looking at you.
- Come on, OK.
131
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,299
[ALL TALKING AT THE SAME TIME]
132
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,160
Mom?
133
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,825
- Will you back off?
- [AIR HORN]
134
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,929
Jesus Christ, OK? Thank you.
135
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,539
[TIME OF THE SEASON BY
THE ZOMBIES PLAYING]
136
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,760
Where's Chesley?
137
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:16,660
What's your name? Who's your daddy?
138
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:20,460
Is he rich like me?
139
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,880
Has he taken any time
140
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:30,560
To show you what you need to live?
141
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,550
Uh, hello?
142
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,427
Anyone home?
143
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,940
I really want to know
144
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:41,200
It's the time of the season
145
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:45,237
For loving
146
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,639
Yeah, well, I'm on this
three-day juice cleanse, so...
147
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,079
You'd rather be peeing all night
148
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,680
than having a bowl of my pudding?
149
00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,540
Well, the thing...
150
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,584
Hello?
151
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,787
Hello, what are you doing here?
152
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,720
- Do you know this person?
- You're that Ross kid.
153
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:08,320
You broke into my house?
154
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:11,062
- I'm going to call the police.
- Um...
155
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:14,332
He knows me. We're connected.
156
00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:16,340
- Kevin, what is he talking about?
- I don't know.
157
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,700
We're related. My mom
158
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,806
didn't want to tell you that, um...
159
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,476
I'm your son
160
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,878
and you're my...
161
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:29,000
dad.
162
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,380
OK. OK.
163
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:45,162
So.
164
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:48,566
Families are dysfunctional, right?
165
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,699
Usually, the source of the dysfunction
166
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,200
is hard to track down.
167
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:56,300
That's what we're gonna do here today.
168
00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:58,320
- I'll go first.
- No, I'll go first...
169
00:07:58,370 --> 00:07:59,999
Can you see how we're gonna spin for it?
170
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,159
'Cause I just dragged
this thing over here
171
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,882
with the names on it, yeah? OK, so...
172
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,491
- Lowly Jr.
- [APPLAUSE]
173
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,680
Go for it, Lo.
174
00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,730
I was born first,
175
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,900
and I came into the world happy.
176
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,405
I believe that first year,
Dad was in jail, or missing.
177
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,680
- In jail.
- It was just me and Mom.
178
00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:31,559
From what I recall and those stories,
179
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,639
Mom was a little unhinged
that first year.
180
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,790
Yeah, and every year after.
181
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:39,610
Because, as it turns out,
Dad had knocked her up
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00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,949
about a month after I was
born, before he went MIA.
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00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:45,500
That poor woman,
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00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:47,320
- she's suffered through so much misery...
- Um,
185
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,140
stay focused, Lowly.
186
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:51,893
From the moment Dad's sperm
fused with Mom's egg
187
00:08:51,894 --> 00:08:53,359
to make a zygote that would one day
188
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,234
develop into the scourge of this family
189
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,969
known as Thomas Edward
Ross. No offense, Tommy.
190
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,971
- Yeah!
- Well said, Lowly.
191
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:03,341
Lo, I need you to... Remember
what we talked about?
192
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,643
No, Tommy. Just a few more things.
193
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,946
Thank you.
194
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:13,849
And all that brings me
back to my initial point,
195
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,740
which is that Mom is a saint,
196
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,220
and Tommy, even though
you are my brother,
197
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,120
well, truth be told,
198
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,320
I think we would all be better
off if you were never born.
199
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,535
Fuckin' horrible.
200
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,206
Ginny, that's me! Oh, wow, OK.
201
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,875
God, where do I even start?
202
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,678
OK, jeez. Mom, you're driving me crazy!
203
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,260
I mean, you always drive me crazy,
204
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,700
but particularly in the last few
weeks you've been living with me.
205
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,885
You're just so bossy and rude
206
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,287
- and demanding...
- I agree!
207
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,600
And that is another reason
why Tommy is such a scourge.
208
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,560
He lost my house and he
tried to drive a wedge
209
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:58,630
between us. We were always so close.
210
00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,460
Do you remember when you
were a little girl,
211
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,660
we used to dress the same
212
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,039
and I'd put your hair
in two little pigtails.
213
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,500
And then I had to stop...
214
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:06,619
Yeah, because Tommy pulled them hard
215
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,320
and gave me that big bald spot.
216
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,076
[WHEEL SPINNING]
217
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,060
I mean, I came here to vent
my frustrations about Sylvia,
218
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,316
but now that I'm here, honestly,
she was the one person
219
00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:20,359
who kept in touch with
me the whole time that
220
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,980
Tommy froze me out, so...
221
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,770
Yes, Tommy paints her in
a really negative light,
222
00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:29,240
which can be confusing, but
at the end of the day,
223
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,350
Sylvia's not a bad person,
224
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,579
and Tommy, you sometimes...
225
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:37,260
don't give her enough credit.
226
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,071
- Sorry.
- [APPLAUSE]
227
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,020
And I feel my marriage failed
228
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:46,319
because too often I took Tommy's side
229
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,339
when I shouldn't have.
230
00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:49,920
When I look back on it,
231
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:53,080
I think that Tommy manipulated
me to take his side.
232
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:56,639
I never should have gone
against you, Sylvia.
233
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,460
Please, please,
234
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,794
- give me another chance.
- Christ, can I please get a turn?
235
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,499
- Finally.
- Chesley, there you are.
236
00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:10,000
- Wait, hang on, what's going on here?
- You lied to me.
237
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,779
You told me that
Smallwood was my father.
238
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:13,790
Ha, ha, ha!
239
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,908
And you fell for it? Ha, ha, ha!
240
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,110
Did you never look into a mirror?
241
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,446
You're as white as the driven snow!
242
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,030
- OK, sometimes it's hard to tell.
- If you're black,
243
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,580
- you can tell.
- I couldn't tell.
244
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,213
Ches, I'm sorry I lied to you.
245
00:11:27,214 --> 00:11:29,720
OK, I wanted to give you
something to believe in,
246
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,259
right, like Santa.
247
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:33,480
Remember how much you
enjoyed believing in Santa?
248
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,293
Tell the youngster who his
father is. It's abusive.
249
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,199
Who cares who the father is?
I'm sick of this father shit,
250
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,640
it's out of control. If you
sneeze and I catch a cold,
251
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,209
do you try to say half
the cold is yours?
252
00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,320
Do you pay for half my
codeine prescription?
253
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,520
No! You walk away. I
suffer alone. Jesus.
254
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,740
Are you calling me a sneeze?
255
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,019
I'm calling you a cold.
256
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,060
- It's a metaphor.
- Ginny,
257
00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:54,759
just tell us who the father is, OK?
258
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,081
You know what? This seminar's over.
259
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,415
No, no, no. I didn't even get a turn.
260
00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:02,549
- Lowly, get her legs.
- Chesley! Lowly!
261
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:03,840
[GRUNTING]
262
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,680
Own your own asshole,
isn't that what you say?
263
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,470
Quit hiding your shame,
264
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,095
- face the truth.
- Stop being a family cancer.
265
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,232
- Get off!
- Mom,
266
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,768
I love you, but if you don't tell me,
267
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,437
I won't ever speak to you again.
268
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,240
Quit it, Ginny, come on.
269
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:26,244
Alright! Alright, alright, alright!
270
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:31,249
Chesley, I will tell you. I just
don't want to tell him yet,
271
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,380
so can we speak privately, please?
272
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,587
Don't wanna tell who? Smallwood?
273
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:39,324
- Or is my dad in the room?
- Oh, God,
274
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,700
just shoot me in the
fucking face, please.
275
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:45,660
No, Ches, there's nobody here
except family and Smallwood.
276
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,238
And Devereaux.
277
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:58,540
Jesus Christ, Ginny.
278
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,920
What are they talking about?
279
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:03,748
My God!
280
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,200
- It's Devereaux!
- Yes, that's right.
281
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:10,460
I did have relations with
her once, many years ago.
282
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,019
I was very drunk
283
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,080
- at the time.
- I was drunk. I was so drunk.
284
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,529
He was a lot more put
together back then.
285
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,731
It was Tommy's fault! Tommy
was supposed to pick me up
286
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,500
and he didn't show, so
what am I gonna do?
287
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,750
It was either sleep in a lobster
pot, or Devereaux's bed.
288
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,973
- Tommy, man.
- First my daughter, and now my wife!
289
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,309
You're a dead man!
290
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:35,120
You're gonna have to get your stomach
pumped to scratch your balls!
291
00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:37,515
[GRUNTING]
292
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:40,700
OK. This was fascinating. Can we go?
293
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,180
- I have to use the washroom.
- Now?
294
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,840
It's the cleanse.
295
00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:47,940
[GRUNTING]
296
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:56,459
How dare you marry me,
297
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,270
knowing you had sex with my daughter?
298
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,020
You look so young,
299
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,340
I think of you both as sisters.
300
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,800
If you think stupid
flattery works on me,
301
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,870
you have a very disappointing
few months ahead of ya.
302
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:11,549
Mrs. Devereaux, please...
303
00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,539
Remember, I am dying.
304
00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:16,880
Oh, you don't need to remind me. Lowly,
305
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:18,539
go get some tissue for that nose,
306
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:19,825
you're bleeding all over your shirt.
307
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,260
Hm? Oh.
308
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,500
You all right, Ches?
309
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,449
Yeah. I just thought I was half-black,
310
00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:35,039
but it turns out I'm
half-British and half-old.
311
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:39,970
Well, listen,
312
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:43,400
biology's got nothing to
do with life, alright?
313
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,600
Didn't they teach you that in school?
314
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,340
Soon enough now you'll be
able to cut loose on your own
315
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,100
and you can go be whoever
316
00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:54,439
or whatever you want to be,
317
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,662
regardless of who your
father is. You hear me?
318
00:14:58,380 --> 00:14:59,699
Yeah.
319
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,533
It's not gonna be a big thing.
320
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,530
Auntie, let's go.
321
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,873
Ginny, goodbye. Good luck
with your... seminar thing.
322
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:11,240
Aaaugh!
323
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:14,780
WTF, man?
324
00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:18,420
D'you ever hear, "Be a
sweetie, wipe the seatie?"
325
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,550
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
326
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:23,280
I was in a rush and I got this condition
327
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:26,860
- with my equipment...
- It's the hypospadias penis.
328
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,892
- Auntie, please...
- It's the Smallwood
329
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,660
family curse. It's genetic.
330
00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:34,080
Genetic?
331
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,500
But I don't have it.
332
00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:38,360
No...
333
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:42,100
How does Cassius have
it if it's genetic?
334
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,499
Cassius has a hypospadias penis?
335
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,640
- I don't think it's that, exactly...
- No, it is.
336
00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:49,313
That's exactly what you called it.
337
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,582
You and I...
338
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,069
That night after the marketing course,
339
00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:56,120
we had a couple drinks, it was...
340
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:58,440
right before you started dating Rico.
341
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,180
You had sex with Smallwood?
342
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,659
What's going on?
343
00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:05,199
What's happening? Pamela!
344
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,560
OK, alright,
345
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,059
let me just set the record straight. OK?
346
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:11,799
I never actually said
347
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,620
- that Tommy was Cassius's father.
- Yes, you did.
348
00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,740
- Excuse me?
- No, no, you did.
349
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:20,000
I just never said that he wasn't.
350
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,680
So he's not mine?
351
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,820
[SYLVIA]: Well,
352
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,490
she's played us all for
fools, hasn't she?
353
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,360
Poor youngster.
354
00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:37,060
Is he mine?
355
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,899
Do not get excited until you see
356
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:42,160
- the paternity results. Let's go.
- Pamela, I'll be in touch.
357
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,030
- I hope it's true.
- Move.
358
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,406
This is very exciting.
359
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,260
Well, that's the end of the seminar.
360
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:01,850
Thanks for coming, everyone. Fuck.
361
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,530
Oh, Sylvia...
362
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,066
You said tonight would be the night.
363
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,059
That was before I found out
364
00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:21,220
you slept with my daughter, wasn't it?
365
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,677
Will you ever forgive me?
366
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,881
I haven't decided yet.
367
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,816
Good night.
368
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,418
Good night...
369
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,487
Good night.
370
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,193
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.
371
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,400
Chesley?
372
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:53,700
Are you in here?
373
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,674
No.
374
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,570
I'm sorry. Come on.
375
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,381
You and Pamela shouldn't
be allowed to have kids.
376
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,980
Mothers aren't supposed to lie.
377
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,650
Mothers can be whatever
the fuck they want.
378
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,120
And I'm not the same as Pamela.
379
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,060
This is the worst thing that
you could do to someone.
380
00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:18,739
Ches, the day you were born
381
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:20,740
was the very best day of my life.
382
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,380
And I swore from that day on
383
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:27,199
that I would protect you
384
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,080
from anyone who might ever
385
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,409
make you feel like you
were less than perfect,
386
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,420
'cause you're perfect.
387
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:37,980
I didn't want to give stupid Devereaux
388
00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:41,285
the chance to reject you. Just anything,
389
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,621
you know?
390
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:46,624
I wanted to be enough.
391
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,961
I guess I'm not.
392
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,197
Guess you're not.
393
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,037
Well, then...
394
00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:04,280
I will just have to love Burger Baby.
395
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:08,646
It will just be me
and that burger baby
396
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:13,317
'Cause my burger baby,
he'll always love me
397
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:16,060
'Cause he's just a
little burger baby
398
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,600
Come on!
399
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,899
Love me like Burger
Baby loves me, please!
400
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,620
- Don't!
- Love me like Burger Baby!
401
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,100
Well, now I'm hungry
402
00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:27,465
and I want burgers. You want burgers?
403
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,468
I think we got, like,
three frozen ones left.
404
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,237
- Sure.
- Yes!
405
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,910
[SOFT MUSIC]
406
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:47,318
[SIGHING]
407
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,400
I'm sorry.
408
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,361
I just wanted it to be true.
409
00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,898
You don't know what
you put me through
410
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,035
And I know you wanted it, too.
411
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,438
I know you think that I
am a horrible person,
412
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,174
but...
413
00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:14,460
Tommy, look at my life.
414
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,720
I just...
415
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,979
so wanted him to come into the world
416
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:22,386
with two parents who really
loved each other, not...
417
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,200
[BLOWING AIR HORN]
418
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:31,328
Not some stupid rebound thing.
419
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,230
[BLOWING AIR HORN]
420
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,468
I know you're mad.
421
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,606
But...
422
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,076
I am really willing to work on things.
423
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,345
OK? Because...
424
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,280
I really do actually love you...
425
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:54,752
- [BLOWING AIR HORN]
- I really love you!
426
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,890
Even though you're an asshole!
427
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,893
Yeah you don't know
428
00:21:02,950 --> 00:21:06,163
What you put me through
429
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:13,160
430
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:17,742
You don't know why I'm on the ground
431
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:23,547
I've been sitting here
since you let me down
432
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:29,220
No more girl can mold this frown
433
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,190
You don't know why I'm on the ground
434
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,790
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