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1
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Everyone, please take
your seats. You heard the bell.
2
00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:38,034
You know what it means.
Last week,
3
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:45,376
the assignment was
to write an essay about your family.
4
00:00:45,447 --> 00:00:48,939
- Who they...
- Are!
5
00:00:49,017 --> 00:00:51,008
And what they...
6
00:00:51,086 --> 00:00:53,350
Mean to us!
7
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:56,913
Excellent droning. So I want
everyone to take out their essays.
8
00:00:57,159 --> 00:01:01,596
We're going to read them aloud
to the class right up here.
9
00:01:02,364 --> 00:01:10,100
My mom says that me and my dad
have very healthy appetites.
10
00:01:10,172 --> 00:01:12,902
My mom and dad are very religious.
11
00:01:12,974 --> 00:01:17,707
When they're in their bedroom at night,
I always hear them yelling, “Jesus!”
12
00:01:17,779 --> 00:01:23,740
My mom says my dad's eyes are brown
because he is so full of sh...
13
00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:24,807
Brian!
14
00:01:25,921 --> 00:01:28,253
My brother Jack is in eighth grade.
15
00:01:28,323 --> 00:01:30,951
He told me to ask my dad
who he voted for...
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00:01:31,026 --> 00:01:32,857
for... for President.
17
00:01:32,928 --> 00:01:35,988
I did and my Dad said
he's a total Bush-man.
18
00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:39,227
That made my brother laugh really hard.
19
00:01:40,302 --> 00:01:43,965
Whenever my Uncle Stu
comes over to play pool with my dad,
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00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:49,170
my mom says the basement smells
like a Cheech and Chong movie.
21
00:01:49,244 --> 00:01:51,712
Well... it's like this.
22
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,408
My dog ate my paper.
23
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,473
I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
24
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,487
What a lovely sentiment,
Mr. Etheridge.
25
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:04,082
Maybe your dog can eat the zero
you'll be receiving too.
26
00:02:04,159 --> 00:02:07,993
- Aw, man!
- Harsh.
27
00:02:08,063 --> 00:02:11,226
Miss Trinke?
It's your turn now.
28
00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:27,181
My dad says life can be
split into two categories:
29
00:02:27,249 --> 00:02:30,377
New Jersey... and New York.
30
00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:46,063
My dad was a Jersey boy
who became the youngest
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00:02:46,134 --> 00:02:49,262
and most successful music publicist
in New York City.
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00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:53,467
By the time he was 27,
he had 100 people working for him.
33
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:58,137
And even though they all loved him,
he loved them even more.
34
00:02:58,213 --> 00:03:01,671
My fellow flacks and spin doctors.
35
00:03:02,317 --> 00:03:03,841
Salud.
36
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:08,412
Daddy loved his job,
but not as much as he loved my mom.
37
00:03:09,024 --> 00:03:12,482
Mommy was a book editor in
New York City when her and Daddy met.
38
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,051
Daddy said their jobs
were kind of the same...
39
00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,894
they made slight corrections
for their clients.
40
00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:23,700
Because George Michael is a pimp
who is all about the ladies, my friend.
41
00:03:23,772 --> 00:03:27,264
Come on, “I Want Your Sex”?
That sound like he's singing to a guy?
42
00:03:28,143 --> 00:03:32,341
Daddy worked so much that sometimes
Mommy could only see him late at night.
43
00:03:33,114 --> 00:03:36,572
Daddy says that's why they
both loved the city so much...
44
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,642
it never went to sleep.
45
00:03:40,922 --> 00:03:43,652
And neither did him and Mommy.
46
00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:46,386
But after a year of romance
in New York City,
47
00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:49,259
Daddy said it was time
to show Mommy where he came from.
48
00:03:50,365 --> 00:03:54,563
So he took her home to New Jersey
and put her through what he said
49
00:03:54,636 --> 00:03:58,299
was the biggest test
their love would ever face:
50
00:03:58,373 --> 00:04:00,841
“Introducing her to my pop. “
51
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,602
- Hey, how are ya?
- How're ya doin'?
52
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,046
- How're ya doin' yourself?
- This is Gertrude.
53
00:04:08,116 --> 00:04:10,846
Hi. Merry Christmas.
54
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:16,657
- And what do you do, Mr. Trinke?
- Easy on the “Mr. Trinke”. It's Bart.
55
00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:18,852
I work for the borough,
for 30 years now.
56
00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:22,363
He's the only man in Highlands
licensed to operate the street sweeper.
57
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,627
Oh, man, I always wanted
to ride in one of those things.
58
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:29,659
Well, you continue seeing my son,
I can probably get you a turn at the wheel.
59
00:04:29,738 --> 00:04:33,640
I was only gonna sleep with him
a few more times and then dump him,
60
00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,335
but now, after an offer like that...
61
00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:37,970
Holy shit.
Listen to the mouth on this one!
62
00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:40,446
Oh, yeah, they don't make 'em
like Mom anymore, do they, Dad?
63
00:04:40,515 --> 00:04:43,848
- Now, listen, I'm goin' to the bar.
- What a shock.
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00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:47,354
If you guys are gonna do anything while
I'm gone, stay the hell off of my bed.
65
00:04:47,422 --> 00:04:51,825
- You're going to a bar?
- Didn't he tell ya? I'm an alcoholic.
66
00:04:51,893 --> 00:04:55,727
- Well, I wanna go to the bar too.
- No, you don't wanna go to this bar.
67
00:04:55,797 --> 00:04:58,732
It's a bunch of old guys talkin' about
how good they had it under Kennedy.
68
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,030
The man was a goddamn saint.
69
00:05:01,102 --> 00:05:04,936
I'm goin' to the bar with your dad.
You can come if you want.
70
00:05:05,006 --> 00:05:06,974
No, that's OK.
I'll stay here and do the dishes.
71
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:08,941
I only cooked.
Why shouldn't I clean?
72
00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:11,740
Suit yourself.
But don't wash that pan.
73
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:16,250
I got a layer of juice built up for the pork
roll, and I don't want you scrubbin' it off.
74
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,285
That “juice” is called grease, Dad.
75
00:05:18,353 --> 00:05:20,446
It's bad for you.
It clogs your arteries.
76
00:05:20,522 --> 00:05:23,980
It's called juice.
And it greases a father's insides
77
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:27,687
so that he can better swallow
the shit his son feeds him twice a year
78
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,753
when he can be bothered
coming to visit him.
79
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:33,761
So that night,
Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar,
80
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,262
where she got to meet
Pop's other children,
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00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,806
his best friends Greenie and Block.
82
00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:43,304
Hey, your kid's cuttin' a rug.
83
00:05:47,882 --> 00:05:49,577
Who are you, Connie Chung?
84
00:05:51,152 --> 00:05:55,885
Daddy said, because Mommy
survived her first trip to Jersey,
85
00:05:55,957 --> 00:05:58,118
he knew she was a keeper.
86
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:08,992
He said they celebrated their
engagement by going out for pizza.
87
00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:12,565
And that's how I got here.
88
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,302
Do we have enough of these at home,
or should I steal some?
89
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:18,209
If you're gonna steal something,
steal some rubber gloves.
90
00:06:32,627 --> 00:06:36,085
- Thank you!
- You're welcome!
91
00:06:37,098 --> 00:06:40,864
And with that,
everyone lived happily ever after.
92
00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:42,969
Almost.
93
00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:45,597
Look, you've got two minutes,
and then we have to go, OK?
94
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,903
- Or I'm gonna leave.
- Would you stop rushing me?
95
00:06:47,976 --> 00:06:51,537
I don't understand how somebody who had
all day sitting around to get ready
96
00:06:51,613 --> 00:06:53,376
waits till 20 minutes
before we have to leave!
97
00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,678
You try getting anything accomplished
with this big gut in your way!
98
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:59,049
This is one of the few days of the year
that I can be fired for being late!
99
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:04,080
Anytime that you wanna carry this baby,
Ollie, you let me know! OK?
100
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:07,321
I would be glad to go back to wearing
regular dresses instead of this tent!
101
00:07:07,395 --> 00:07:09,727
The dress looks fine.
It's gorgeous, OK? It's beautiful.
102
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,061
Yeah, until I'm standing next to
Janet Jackson or Sheryl Crow.
103
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:13,930
Then you'll see how not fine it looks.
104
00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:17,096
Gertie, I asked you, please,
to use your own brush, OK?
105
00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:19,036
- Can you just not use my brush?
- Don't start.
106
00:07:19,107 --> 00:07:20,870
It's just that
every time I wanna comb my hair
107
00:07:20,942 --> 00:07:25,470
I spend 15 minutes taking these
long, bushy hairs out of my brush.
108
00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:27,174
And I mean, you ask me to...
109
00:07:29,017 --> 00:07:30,416
I'm sorry.
110
00:07:30,485 --> 00:07:33,852
Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
111
00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:37,551
You don't understand
what it's like to be this fat!
112
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,594
I've always been thin,
and now I'm a disgusting pig!
113
00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:43,324
And it's my first time
going to the Video Music Awards
114
00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:47,562
and all the other girls are gonna be
skinny, and I'm gonna look like a whale!
115
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:51,799
Baby, baby, they're just skinny
'cause they're all coked-out whores.
116
00:07:51,873 --> 00:07:54,341
I wanna be a coked-out whore!
117
00:07:54,409 --> 00:07:56,400
OK, you can be a coked-out whore too.
118
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,913
You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore.
119
00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:02,882
- I'm sorry.
- I should be more sensitive. I'm sorry.
120
00:08:02,951 --> 00:08:05,545
I should be more sensitive, honey.
I know.
121
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:07,315
- Yes.
- I know.
122
00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:10,448
- Baby, we have to go now, OK?
- OK.
123
00:08:10,525 --> 00:08:12,891
- I love you. We have to go now.
- OK.
124
00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:15,452
- I love you too.
- All right, let's go. OK?
125
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:18,397
Just give me two minutes.
126
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,791
- What time is it?
- 20 after.
127
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:24,167
- She's gonna kill me!
- I need the quote for the Madonna release.
128
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:29,870
OK. “Madonna trusts the public
will judge for itself that...
129
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:33,345
this latest in a long line
of breakthrough music videos
130
00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:36,474
is not the tasteless sexploitation
it's accused of being.”
131
00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:40,749
- “It's artistic expression.”
- Of what?
132
00:08:40,822 --> 00:08:46,192
Of one woman's constant need
to show the world... her labia.
133
00:08:48,429 --> 00:08:51,557
Hey, can I use the word “labia”
in a press release?
134
00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:13,243
See you next week.
135
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:19,958
One of these days, I'll get me one of
those husbands that show up for Lamaze.
136
00:09:20,028 --> 00:09:22,588
I'm sorry, babe. It was Madonna.
137
00:09:22,664 --> 00:09:25,792
So you were late
because of another woman. That's nice.
138
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:29,496
- Come on. I still gotta do my job.
- And I still gotta do mine too.
139
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,663
But I was at Lamaze on time.
140
00:09:34,409 --> 00:09:35,967
Look, all I'm saying is
141
00:09:36,044 --> 00:09:40,276
that guy who used to spend all night at the
office and barely live in his apartment?
142
00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,339
That's not you anymore.
143
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:44,942
Now you have to be the guy
who's done by six
144
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:48,978
and comes home
and hangs out with his family.
145
00:09:49,057 --> 00:09:51,389
That's the only way we're gonna work.
146
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,492
OK?
147
00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:58,422
OK.
148
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,731
- OK.
- OK.
149
00:10:00,802 --> 00:10:02,793
OK!
150
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,902
- OK.
- OK.
151
00:10:11,312 --> 00:10:13,644
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
152
00:10:13,715 --> 00:10:16,548
My wife's water broke.
She's gonna have a baby.
153
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,847
- You're gonna have to check in, hon.
- Check in?!
154
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,879
Where, at the concierge desk?! Why
are you being so combative with me?!
155
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:26,393
First of all,
take your hands off my uniform.
156
00:10:26,461 --> 00:10:29,919
And second,
I'm gonna need a patient here.
157
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,829
This is my wife.
This is the belligerent nurse
158
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,667
that's being so difficult with me,
giving me such a hard time.
159
00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:42,073
- I'm sorry. He's a little panicky.
- Can I get a wheelchair?
160
00:10:42,143 --> 00:10:43,838
- Let's get you up to delivery...
- OK.
161
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,879
- ...and let him fill out the paperwork.
- OK.
162
00:10:45,947 --> 00:10:48,415
- If we can trust him with a pen.
- Here, sweetie.
163
00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,883
OK, just relax, breathe.
Remember, take it easy.
164
00:10:50,952 --> 00:10:53,045
I love you.
I'll be right there, OK? I love you.
165
00:10:53,121 --> 00:10:55,214
- I love you too.
- OK, I love you.
166
00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:59,248
We've practiced this 1,000 times.
It'll be great. How hard can it be?
167
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:04,960
- Push! You're doing good.
- You're doing real good.
168
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,796
- No, I can't! I can't do it!
- Take a breath.
169
00:11:07,869 --> 00:11:10,667
- It hurts!
- I know it hurts.
170
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:13,798
It's OK, baby.
Push. You can do it.
171
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:17,038
Take a deep breath.
In five, four...
172
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,409
- OK? Here you go.
- ...three, two, one.
173
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,972
Push. Push harder, Gertie.
Push harder.
174
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,678
The baby's crowning. I can see her.
I just need one more push.
175
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:28,221
- Can you see her?
- Holy shit! I can see the head!
176
00:11:28,289 --> 00:11:31,816
- One more. Breathe.
- Push! It's almost there, baby.
177
00:11:31,893 --> 00:11:33,918
Push! You're doing it. Push!
178
00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:36,156
Push!
179
00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:40,296
Here she comes! Here she comes!
180
00:11:40,368 --> 00:11:42,768
Here she is.
181
00:11:42,837 --> 00:11:45,362
- Do you wanna cut the cord, Dad?
- Yeah.
182
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:46,838
Scissors, please.
183
00:11:46,908 --> 00:11:52,813
Yes! And she's got all ten fingers,
ten toes.
184
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,408
We'll get her all cleaned up
and then we're gonna check...
185
00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:58,474
Gertie?
186
00:11:58,553 --> 00:12:00,453
- Baby, look.
- Gertie?
187
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,419
Gertie!
188
00:12:03,424 --> 00:12:05,483
Gertie, can you hear me?
189
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:09,087
- She's OK. Sweetheart?
- Nurse, get Dr. Mortimer right away!
190
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:11,324
She's resting.
Who's Dr. Mortimer?
191
00:12:11,399 --> 00:12:12,388
Dr. Mortimer!
192
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,400
- What's happening?
- She's unresponsive.
193
00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:16,163
- Gertie!
- Gertie! Gertie!
194
00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:19,206
Gertie, it's me! Gertie?
195
00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,503
Healthy baby. Unresponsive.
196
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:24,010
- Respiratory arrest.
- Turn it around!
197
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:27,605
- What's happening to my wife?
- Let's open that IV, please.
198
00:12:27,682 --> 00:12:31,413
Baby, are you OK?
Sweetheart, sweetheart, wake up!
199
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:34,784
Please, someone take
Mr. Trinke outside. Please!
200
00:12:34,856 --> 00:12:36,881
I'm gonna have to intubate.
201
00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:39,222
Gertie, wake up, my love.
Wake up.
202
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,386
Gertie, please. Wake up.
203
00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:45,090
Get off me! Gertie!
204
00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:48,499
I wanna stay with my wife!
Gertie! Gertie!
205
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:50,560
What's happening?!
206
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:13,659
- Ollie...
- If I don't get to go in there right now...
207
00:13:13,728 --> 00:13:15,195
- I swear to God!
- Ollie... Ollie, calm down.
208
00:13:15,263 --> 00:13:17,390
Fuck you, calm down! OK?!
209
00:13:17,465 --> 00:13:19,433
I got dragged out of there,
I haven't got to see my baby!
210
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,799
Your baby is fine.
She's healthy, she's normal.
211
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:26,601
- What's wrong with Gertie?
- I need you to calm down before I...
212
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:29,336
Look, I'm calm! OK?!
213
00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:35,305
I'm calm.
214
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:39,545
We think Gertie had an aneurysm.
215
00:13:41,856 --> 00:13:43,881
Is she OK?
216
00:13:46,227 --> 00:13:48,218
We lost her, Ollie.
217
00:13:49,597 --> 00:13:55,399
The strain of the contractions and the
pushing caused the aneurysm to rupture.
218
00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:58,438
There are rarely symptoms
for aneurysms...
219
00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:06,875
♪ I drew a picture of you
220
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:14,287
♪ You and your anchor tattoo
221
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:21,455
♪ And saw the face that I knew
222
00:14:23,898 --> 00:14:26,662
♪ Covered in shame
223
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:35,936
♪ You drew the bird that was here
224
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,244
♪ The kind of sweet chanticleer
225
00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:50,585
♪ But with a terrible fear
226
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:56,553
♪ That the cage couldn't tame
227
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:10,143
♪ That's how I knew the story
would break my heart
228
00:15:11,746 --> 00:15:14,715
♪ When you're older
229
00:15:17,318 --> 00:15:24,986
♪ That's how I knew the story
would break my heart
230
00:15:42,076 --> 00:15:44,067
You sure you're OK
with this, Dad?
231
00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:47,137
What, OK?
She's my granddaughter.
232
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:51,480
Yeah, you can stay
with me anytime, can't you?
233
00:15:51,552 --> 00:15:53,349
Yes, you can.
234
00:15:53,421 --> 00:15:57,255
Until you're a teenager,
with the boys and a reefer.
235
00:15:57,324 --> 00:16:00,225
Then I don't wanna know about you.
236
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:02,752
I wouldn't impose on you, you know.
237
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:08,063
I just got a lot of work...
piled up from before and...
238
00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:13,937
- I'll be back late tonight, OK?
- Yeah, take your time.
239
00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:22,781
Your daddy really misses
your mommy, kid. I miss her too.
240
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,943
Especially right now.
241
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,944
Oh, Jesus!
242
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,954
Yeah.
243
00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:41,699
- You wanted to see me, Ollie?
- Yeah, come on in.
244
00:16:43,571 --> 00:16:46,472
I didn't think you were gonna be in
this week. How you doin'?
245
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,531
- You all right?
- I'm fine.
246
00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:51,942
Look, this piece in the Post.
Why didn't you call me when this broke?
247
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:56,142
- I had to read about it in New Jersey.
- It's cool. The nurse is a fan.
248
00:16:56,217 --> 00:16:59,414
Will she still be a fan when the Enquirer
flashes a stack of 50s in her face?
249
00:16:59,487 --> 00:17:03,048
Listen, something like this breaks,
I'm not in the city,
250
00:17:03,124 --> 00:17:05,319
you find me or you find another job.
251
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,053
Yeah, OK.
252
00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:12,093
OK.
253
00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:15,793
What else do we got?
254
00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,134
Will Smith.
255
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,072
- Who?
- The Fresh Prince?
256
00:17:21,142 --> 00:17:23,576
“DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince”
Fresh Prince?
257
00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:25,236
- Yeah.
- What about him?
258
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:28,406
You remember the first album,
the one with “Girls Ain't...
259
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,746
- Rock the House. Yeah?
- Rock the House, right.
260
00:17:30,818 --> 00:17:35,755
You remember on the cover of the album
Jazzy Jeff is holding a model of a house?
261
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:36,949
Vaguely.
262
00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:39,993
Will Smith is donating that house
to the Hard Rock Cafe.
263
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,688
Well, stop the presses.
You put the word out yet?
264
00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,822
- Date pending, yeah.
- Anybody give a shit?
265
00:17:44,899 --> 00:17:49,632
- Every outlet wants in.
- You're kidding me?
266
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,967
No.
Even US News and World Report.
267
00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,008
Why? It's an eight-year-old album.
268
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,976
Doesn't matter. Everyone loves
that Fresh Prince TV show.
269
00:17:58,045 --> 00:18:01,776
He's got that movie coming out
in a couple of weeks, Independence Day.
270
00:18:01,849 --> 00:18:05,615
- Let the film division handle it.
- No, we can't.
271
00:18:05,686 --> 00:18:08,655
Will wants to keep his music career
separate from his movie career.
272
00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:12,988
Like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air
is ever gonna have a movie career.
273
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:17,996
Get me everything you can. I'll put together
a press kit on him, and we'll just do it.
274
00:18:18,065 --> 00:18:18,554
OK.
275
00:18:18,632 --> 00:18:21,897
- Patty, get me Kirsch.
- Sure, Ollie.
276
00:18:21,969 --> 00:18:26,065
I can handle this Fresh Prince stuff
if you wanna take a couple of days...
277
00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:30,406
Hey, Arthur, I can do my job.
I'm all set, OK? You do your job. Go ahead.
278
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,968
Patty, did you not hear me? I asked you
to please get Kirsch on the phone.
279
00:18:33,047 --> 00:18:34,344
- Ollie?
- I'm trying.
280
00:18:34,415 --> 00:18:35,677
What, man?
281
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:39,241
I know I told you at the funeral,
but I'm really sorry...
282
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,185
I'm fine.
OK, Arthur? I am fine!
283
00:18:41,255 --> 00:18:43,587
Please go do
what I asked you to do now.
284
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:45,921
- Kirschner on one.
- OK! Put him on the phone then!
285
00:18:45,993 --> 00:18:48,553
- How's the baby?
- The baby is fine, Arthur!
286
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:51,029
Forget about the baby!
I just wanna do my job!
287
00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:54,898
Jesus Christ, Ollie!
What the hell you screamin' about?
288
00:18:54,969 --> 00:18:58,268
Patty, was that...
289
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,551
I'm working on that right now.
Don't worry.
290
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:14,110
Just get there early
and deal with the menu. OK?
291
00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:17,624
Hey! Are you deaf?
The kid is cryin' up there.
292
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:21,091
Can you deal with that? I'm doing
something important. OK? Thanks.
293
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,220
What the hell could be more
important than your kid crying?
294
00:19:23,297 --> 00:19:25,788
I have a memorabilia donation
ceremony in the morning
295
00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:28,300
that my company is treating
like a royal wedding
296
00:19:28,369 --> 00:19:32,237
'cause apparently the client's the most
beloved American musician since Elvis.
297
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:34,467
The kid's been screaming
for the last ten minutes.
298
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,635
If it bothers you so much,
go up there and give her a bottle. OK?
299
00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:40,544
Sorry. It's a nightmare
trying to work at this house.
300
00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:44,247
Jesus! Let me call you back, OK?
301
00:19:45,219 --> 00:19:47,517
- What, Dad?
- Listen, kid.
302
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:52,082
I lost a wife too, remember?
So I get how you're feelin'. But come on.
303
00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:54,992
You were married for what, 20 years?
I got about 20 minutes.
304
00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:57,895
So you don't “get”
how I'm feeling at all, OK?
305
00:19:57,965 --> 00:20:01,264
I'm sorry, Oliver, but that don't change
the fact that you're a goddamn father now
306
00:20:01,335 --> 00:20:03,735
and you haven't acted like it
since that kid got home from the hospital!
307
00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:08,138
I been calling in sick for a month to do
the things you're supposed to be doin'!
308
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,609
Jesus Christ, if Gertie could see
the shit you've been pulling...
309
00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:17,143
Gertie doesn't see anything anymore,
Dad. She's dead.
310
00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:20,079
Yeah, she's dead.
311
00:20:23,257 --> 00:20:26,192
But you ain't.
And neither is that kid.
312
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,967
Yeah. It's nothin'.
313
00:20:42,643 --> 00:20:45,373
All right, so I'm gonna do the kit.
It's almost finished.
314
00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:48,472
You can deal with the menu.
What time's Will getting there?
315
00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:02,355
Dad, the baby's up!
316
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,825
Dad! The baby needs to be fed!
317
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:14,337
Dad!
318
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:24,006
What the hell...?!
319
00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:28,678
Are you nuts?
What, are you trying to get killed?!
320
00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:31,987
- What are you doing?
- Searching for Christ. What's it look like?
321
00:21:32,059 --> 00:21:34,857
It would have been nice if you'd told me
you were leaving the house!
322
00:21:34,928 --> 00:21:38,523
That way, I could've given you the baby
instead of driving all the way down here!
323
00:21:38,599 --> 00:21:42,228
- Now I'm gonna hit traffic!
- No, you ain't giving me the baby.
324
00:21:46,874 --> 00:21:49,035
Hey! Excuse me?
325
00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:51,202
I got uptown and downtown
to do this morning.
326
00:21:51,278 --> 00:21:55,146
- You're on your own with the kid today.
- What?! No!
327
00:21:55,215 --> 00:21:58,116
I have this press conference I have to do
this morning, Dad! You know that!
328
00:21:58,185 --> 00:22:02,087
- I got a job to do too.
- If I don't leave right now...
329
00:22:02,156 --> 00:22:04,249
- So leave!
- And do what with the baby?!
330
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,020
- Take her with you!
- Goddamn it! I...
331
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:11,020
Look, I know I haven't been
helping out that much with the baby...
332
00:22:11,098 --> 00:22:13,089
Listen to you, “Helping out
that much with the baby.”
333
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:14,691
She's your daughter,
for Christ's sakes!
334
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:19,501
- What am I supposed to do with her?!
- Try acting like her father, shithead!
335
00:22:20,974 --> 00:22:22,965
Goddamn it!
336
00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:57,066
Folks, I'm sorry.
337
00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:02,342
- Sorry. Steve.
- What the...?!
338
00:23:02,416 --> 00:23:05,476
- I ordered diapers. Did they get here yet?
- You mean baby diapers?
339
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,884
Why didn't you start half an hour ago?
You shouldn't have waited for me!
340
00:23:07,955 --> 00:23:10,150
- We're waiting for Will.
- Will's not here?!
341
00:23:10,224 --> 00:23:12,692
- No.
- Are either of you guys Trinket?
342
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,659
- Close enough. Where is he?
- We're not sure.
343
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:17,458
Damn! That baby smells like shit.
You know that, right?
344
00:23:17,531 --> 00:23:19,294
It's a good thing
you finally showed up, man.
345
00:23:19,366 --> 00:23:22,665
- They're gettin' all rowdy out there.
- Oh, Mother of God!
346
00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:24,533
- What? Jesus...
- Ollie!
347
00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:28,234
Ollie, the guy from Rolling Stone...
Holy shit! What is that smell?
348
00:23:28,308 --> 00:23:31,505
Grow up, Susan! It's a dirty diaper.
What did the Rolling Stone guy say?
349
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,569
If we don't start in five minutes,
they're leaving
350
00:23:33,647 --> 00:23:36,115
to go cover the Blues Traveler
signing at Tower.
351
00:23:36,183 --> 00:23:39,414
- Jesus Christ!
- Hey, you're doing that wrong.
352
00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:41,511
- What?
- You're doing that wrong.
353
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,523
You're supposed to wipe front to back.
You're wiping back to front.
354
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:47,924
You do that, you're just wiping
the poop into her...
355
00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:49,826
crevice.
356
00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,226
Get outta here! Beat it!
357
00:23:52,299 --> 00:23:54,665
Mark my words,
you're gonna give her the crotch-rot.
358
00:23:54,735 --> 00:23:56,828
- Would one of you do... You do this.
- Oh, not me. No.
359
00:23:56,904 --> 00:23:58,895
Will you do this
so I can go out there and calm them down?
360
00:23:58,972 --> 00:24:02,203
Why, because I'm a girl?
I've never even seen a naked baby. No!
361
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,904
Fine. Thank you very much.
I'm gonna remember this.
362
00:24:04,978 --> 00:24:08,539
- How much of this am I supposed to use?
- Should I get that guy back?
363
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:11,015
If it's for the smell,
I suggest you use a lot.
364
00:24:11,084 --> 00:24:15,578
You gotta turn... turn it.
You gotta turn the top!
365
00:24:15,656 --> 00:24:18,284
Oh! Direct it at the baby.
366
00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:22,795
Thank you! Go out there, please,
and tell them we're about to start!
367
00:24:27,768 --> 00:24:29,759
I'd say more.
368
00:24:34,841 --> 00:24:36,035
That's a lot.
369
00:24:39,012 --> 00:24:41,412
All right,
the Fresh Prince is almost here.
370
00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:44,575
Is that blow on your shirt?
371
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:48,610
What do you think, Stretch?
This is show business, right?
372
00:24:48,689 --> 00:24:52,090
- That was a joke, people.
- Where's the Fresh Prince?
373
00:24:52,159 --> 00:24:54,491
The Fresh Prince is on his way.
374
00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:56,426
- It's crying. Will you take it?
- No! No.
375
00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:59,795
Is that Jazzy Jeff?
376
00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:02,027
This is bullshit!
Where's the Fresh Prince?
377
00:25:02,102 --> 00:25:04,798
Will someone please shut that girl up?
378
00:25:04,871 --> 00:25:07,669
Enough with the Romper Room, man!
Bring out the Fresh Prince!
379
00:25:07,741 --> 00:25:09,641
Fresh Prince! Fresh Prince!
380
00:25:10,711 --> 00:25:13,236
Please take her.
381
00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:15,739
I...
382
00:25:18,318 --> 00:25:22,721
Goddamn it! Christ!
Give her to me! Give me the baby.
383
00:25:33,767 --> 00:25:37,931
Would you people just shut the hell up
with the “Fresh Prince” already?!
384
00:25:38,005 --> 00:25:40,064
He's a two-bit TV actor...
385
00:25:40,140 --> 00:25:42,438
who won't be around any longer
than it takes for the ink to dry
386
00:25:42,509 --> 00:25:47,310
on the pages of the worthless rags
you jerk-offs write for!
387
00:25:50,984 --> 00:25:52,849
Shit.
388
00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:57,813
- That guy's toast.
- That's a hell of a quote.
389
00:26:08,001 --> 00:26:10,401
♪ Well, I looked over Jordan
390
00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:13,098
♪ And what did I see?
391
00:26:13,173 --> 00:26:14,731
It's all right, Arthur.
392
00:26:14,808 --> 00:26:20,269
♪ Comin' for to carry me home
393
00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:25,977
♪ A band of angels
394
00:26:26,053 --> 00:26:29,545
♪ Coming after me
395
00:26:29,623 --> 00:26:35,220
♪ Coming for to carry me home
396
00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:46,070
♪ Swing low, sweet chariot
397
00:26:46,740 --> 00:26:52,178
♪ Coming for to carry me home
398
00:26:52,245 --> 00:26:58,445
♪ Swing low, sweet chariot
399
00:26:59,152 --> 00:27:03,987
♪ Coming for to carry me home
400
00:27:06,059 --> 00:27:14,059
♪ Coming for to carry me home
401
00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:22,764
We won't be here too long, Dad.
402
00:27:22,843 --> 00:27:26,335
We'll be out of your hair
as soon as I get another job.
403
00:27:26,413 --> 00:27:29,211
I have some feelers out
to the other firms right now.
404
00:27:29,282 --> 00:27:32,342
As soon as this whole thing
blows over...
405
00:27:32,419 --> 00:27:37,083
It's OK to stay here as long as you need
to, till you get back on your feet.
406
00:27:37,157 --> 00:27:39,717
- I appreciate that.
- On one condition.
407
00:27:39,793 --> 00:27:44,287
- Here we go.
- You put the kid to bed every night.
408
00:27:44,364 --> 00:27:47,356
- That's it?
- For starters.
409
00:27:47,434 --> 00:27:50,528
And no whores.
I don't want no whores in my house.
410
00:27:51,271 --> 00:27:54,934
I'm not really a whoremonger, Dad.
411
00:27:55,008 --> 00:27:57,533
Here, the kid gets this.
412
00:27:57,611 --> 00:28:00,944
That's cute.
8:00, you both get a bottle.
413
00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:05,542
Just shut the hell up and go be a father,
would ya, please?
414
00:28:29,242 --> 00:28:31,233
No?
415
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:42,613
Yeah, this is only temporary,
us... you know...
416
00:28:42,689 --> 00:28:45,317
living with your grandfather here.
417
00:28:47,027 --> 00:28:48,927
So...
418
00:28:50,497 --> 00:28:53,625
how about that Fresh Prince thing?
419
00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:55,930
It was quite a show.
420
00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:59,198
Your dad's one big horse's ass.
421
00:29:01,241 --> 00:29:04,233
Daddy's ex-bosses said
the guys who did PR for Hitler
422
00:29:04,311 --> 00:29:08,179
have a better chance of working in
this business again than Daddy does.
423
00:29:12,052 --> 00:29:14,384
So, OK...
424
00:29:15,822 --> 00:29:18,290
How're you doin'?
425
00:29:21,728 --> 00:29:25,960
Yeah... You know,
you kinda look like your mom.
426
00:29:26,032 --> 00:29:29,934
Like a squishier,
balder version of your mom.
427
00:29:35,809 --> 00:29:37,777
Man...
428
00:29:37,844 --> 00:29:41,177
I just wish you could've gotten
to meet your mom.
429
00:29:42,148 --> 00:29:47,051
I know she wanted to meet you...
in a big, bad way.
430
00:29:49,823 --> 00:29:52,087
In a big, bad way.
431
00:29:56,496 --> 00:30:01,126
Sometimes, Daddy wishes
he'd have died instead of Mommy.
432
00:30:02,002 --> 00:30:04,937
Because Mommy never would've...
433
00:30:05,005 --> 00:30:08,805
let work get in the way of...
getting to know you,
434
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:13,608
like Daddy has for the last...
month or so.
435
00:30:16,683 --> 00:30:21,347
It's just that Daddy...
he didn't expect Mommy...
436
00:30:22,389 --> 00:30:24,914
to leave the way she did.
437
00:30:27,761 --> 00:30:33,165
It's just really hard on Daddy, who's been
trying to fill up his days with work,
438
00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:38,535
so he wouldn't have to think about
Mommy never being around again.
439
00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:42,440
I just loved your mom so much.
440
00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,500
You know?
441
00:30:45,478 --> 00:30:47,912
She really lit my world on fire.
442
00:30:50,450 --> 00:30:52,611
When that happens...
443
00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:59,581
you kinda think it'll go on like that
until one of you dies. You know?
444
00:30:59,659 --> 00:31:02,753
You just don't expect...
445
00:31:02,829 --> 00:31:06,094
I miss her so much. So, so much.
446
00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:17,472
And you're a little piece of Mommy. And
that makes you really special to Daddy.
447
00:31:30,490 --> 00:31:32,481
Just don't go anywhere.
448
00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:36,051
'Cause you're the next best thing
to Mommy, and I love you so much.
449
00:31:36,129 --> 00:31:38,393
And I'll always be here for you.
450
00:31:38,465 --> 00:31:41,662
And I'm sorry about
the way I've been acting.
451
00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:46,172
I promise you...
I'll be better now.
452
00:31:46,239 --> 00:31:49,572
I'm gonna be the best daddy
in the world.
453
00:31:49,642 --> 00:31:54,636
'Cause that's what Mommy wanted.
And that's what you deserve.
454
00:31:56,182 --> 00:31:58,616
And that's all I am now.
455
00:31:59,819 --> 00:32:02,287
I'm just your dad.
456
00:32:20,774 --> 00:32:23,902
Your dad likes to run off at the mouth
sometimes, I know.
457
00:32:28,415 --> 00:32:31,043
Your mother wasn't a fan, either.
458
00:32:32,886 --> 00:32:36,515
You wanna see a picture
of your mom? I have one.
459
00:32:38,258 --> 00:32:42,160
This was your mommy.
She was really pretty.
460
00:32:42,762 --> 00:32:45,253
OK. You can keep it.
461
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:49,494
Daddy's got a bunch.
462
00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:53,361
There you go.
463
00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:06,580
Goodnight, Gertie.
464
00:33:31,811 --> 00:33:34,177
♪ Worlds...
465
00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:38,178
♪ They rise and fall
466
00:33:40,053 --> 00:33:40,815
Gertie!
467
00:33:40,887 --> 00:33:42,980
♪ Within her eyes
468
00:33:44,157 --> 00:33:46,751
Your chariot awaits, Princess.
469
00:33:46,826 --> 00:33:48,623
Let's go!
470
00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:53,331
We gotta go! Argh!
471
00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,697
♪ To fly in the sky
472
00:33:55,768 --> 00:33:57,668
- How was school, good?
- Mm-hm.
473
00:33:57,737 --> 00:33:59,329
- You have a nice time?
- Yep.
474
00:33:59,405 --> 00:34:02,238
Remember to put your seat belt on?
Know where to find it?
475
00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:02,797
Yep.
476
00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:08,337
Lock and load.
Comin' around. Get ready.
477
00:34:17,290 --> 00:34:20,123
- Ready?
- Punch it, Chewy!
478
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,790
- Can we go see Cats?
- Absolutely not.
479
00:34:25,865 --> 00:34:26,923
Why?
480
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,434
Cats was the second-worst thing
that ever happened to New York City.
481
00:34:29,502 --> 00:34:33,302
- Besides, Cats closed three years ago.
- We never do anything cool.
482
00:34:33,373 --> 00:34:37,002
You're ridin' in the Batmobile,
aren't ya? How cool is that?
483
00:34:37,076 --> 00:34:38,600
Oh, my God.
484
00:34:38,678 --> 00:34:41,476
Look, no one's more depressed than me
that driving the street sweeper
485
00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:43,880
is considered the height
of excitement in my life.
486
00:34:43,950 --> 00:34:45,781
I used to live in New York City.
487
00:34:45,852 --> 00:34:47,843
I could've gone to see Cats
three times a day.
488
00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:51,789
- It's not like I ever ask for anything.
- Oh-ho-ho!
489
00:34:51,858 --> 00:34:54,122
“And the Oscar goes to Gertie Trinke,
490
00:34:54,194 --> 00:34:57,357
for her performance in
Laying It On Thick For My Old Man.”
491
00:34:59,032 --> 00:35:01,000
What is it with you and Cats
all of a sudden?
492
00:35:01,067 --> 00:35:03,968
I wanna sing a Cats song
in the big show, like everybody else.
493
00:35:04,037 --> 00:35:06,835
- What big show?
- There's gonna be this big show at school.
494
00:35:06,906 --> 00:35:10,103
All the people have to sing a song
with people from their family.
495
00:35:10,176 --> 00:35:14,169
- Are you inviting me to this big show?
- Duh! Yeah, you and Pop too.
496
00:35:14,247 --> 00:35:17,683
Oh-ho! I'm sure that'll go over
huge with your pop.
497
00:35:17,750 --> 00:35:19,911
Can Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block
be in it too?
498
00:35:19,986 --> 00:35:23,387
Those men are not your uncles.
They're barely even your peers.
499
00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:24,514
Pee-ers?
500
00:35:24,591 --> 00:35:28,254
- When is this big show?
- Right before Thanksgiving break.
501
00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:30,091
Does it have to be something
from the Bible?
502
00:35:30,163 --> 00:35:32,723
I don't think so.
Is Cats in the Bible?
503
00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:35,427
The Satanic Bible, yes.
504
00:35:44,444 --> 00:35:47,106
- What?
- When you taking her to see the cats?
505
00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:49,546
Jesus, you too?
506
00:35:49,616 --> 00:35:51,379
Gertie!
507
00:35:53,019 --> 00:35:55,112
Do you even know what Cats is, Dad?
508
00:35:55,188 --> 00:35:59,022
- What, I don't read the papers?
- You don't read that paper.
509
00:35:59,092 --> 00:36:00,923
What are you doing with
a New York Times?
510
00:36:00,994 --> 00:36:02,518
They ran out of the Ledger.
511
00:36:02,595 --> 00:36:05,086
They don't have the Jumble
in the Times, Dad.
512
00:36:05,164 --> 00:36:07,462
Shit.
513
00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,226
- Where were you?
- I was in the bathroom.
514
00:36:10,303 --> 00:36:13,636
- Why didn't I hear the toilet flush?
- Oh. I forgot.
515
00:36:13,706 --> 00:36:16,470
OK, march your butt back upstairs
and flush that toilet.
516
00:36:16,542 --> 00:36:18,305
And when I say no about something,
517
00:36:18,378 --> 00:36:20,869
like, I don't know, Cats, maybe,
I mean no.
518
00:36:20,947 --> 00:36:22,209
OK?
519
00:36:22,282 --> 00:36:26,810
- Pop, you were supposed to be subtle!
- Why do you teach her words like that?
520
00:36:26,886 --> 00:36:29,377
You're gonna have to mow the park
for me tomorrow. I can't do it.
521
00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,424
- Why the hell not?
- I have an appointment in the city at 11:00.
522
00:36:32,492 --> 00:36:34,983
Jesus, kid,
why do you keep doin' it to yourself?
523
00:36:35,061 --> 00:36:37,120
How many of these interviews
you gotta go on
524
00:36:37,196 --> 00:36:38,595
before you get it through
your thick head
525
00:36:38,665 --> 00:36:40,997
they don't want you
in that business anymore?
526
00:36:41,067 --> 00:36:43,831
For Christ's sakes, you made fun
of that Prince Charles guy.
527
00:36:43,903 --> 00:36:45,894
Thank you.
528
00:36:45,972 --> 00:36:49,533
First of all, Dad,
I didn't “make fun” of anybody.
529
00:36:49,609 --> 00:36:53,010
I made one remark about Will Smith,
the Fresh Prince.
530
00:36:53,079 --> 00:36:55,172
Sooner or later,
everyone's gonna forget about that
531
00:36:55,248 --> 00:36:57,273
and I'm gonna go back to doing
what I'm really good at,
532
00:36:57,350 --> 00:37:00,945
instead of sweeping streets
and plowing snow and picking up garbage.
533
00:37:01,020 --> 00:37:02,351
OK?
534
00:37:02,422 --> 00:37:07,086
If you're going into the city anyway,
at least take the kid to see the cats.
535
00:37:08,861 --> 00:37:10,419
Oh, God...
536
00:37:10,496 --> 00:37:13,363
I'll tell you what,
since there is no more Cats,
537
00:37:13,433 --> 00:37:18,871
Gertie, why don't you come over here and
pick out another play that you wanna see?
538
00:37:18,938 --> 00:37:22,601
Look through here.
Anything you want. Go nuts.
539
00:37:22,675 --> 00:37:26,441
- Cats is a show?
- Yeah, you read the papers.
540
00:37:28,848 --> 00:37:30,679
You think you're slick,
don't ya, young lady?
541
00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:33,048
Next time you're lookin'
for a partner in crime,
542
00:37:33,119 --> 00:37:35,383
you're gonna have to aim higher
than your grandfather.
543
00:37:35,455 --> 00:37:38,947
- He's soft in the head.
- I heard that!
544
00:37:41,928 --> 00:37:44,192
Here. Can we go see this show?
545
00:37:44,263 --> 00:37:47,232
Sweeney Todd? Do you know
that this has a lot of singing?
546
00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:50,292
- It's still a play.
- OK. I'm just checking.
547
00:37:50,370 --> 00:37:53,703
Your dad one time lost a bet
with someone at his work,
548
00:37:53,773 --> 00:37:57,573
and he had to go see a singing play,
done by people on roller skates.
549
00:37:57,643 --> 00:38:00,578
- Cool!
- Your dad didn't think so.
550
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,871
I handled primarily
recording artists
551
00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:06,882
but when I initially trained,
I trained in film PR, so I can do that too.
552
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:13,153
I... took the last six or seven years off.
I was raising my daughter in New Jersey.
553
00:38:13,226 --> 00:38:17,595
But I kept abreast, so...
I'm pretty comfortable jumping back in.
554
00:38:17,663 --> 00:38:20,860
What else can I tell you guys?
555
00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:23,595
That's it.
I can start, you know, right away.
556
00:38:27,607 --> 00:38:31,168
You guys all right?
557
00:38:34,013 --> 00:38:38,677
Are you the Ollie Trinke? The one
who used to work at Mandell Kirschner?
558
00:38:40,553 --> 00:38:41,076
Yeah.
559
00:38:41,154 --> 00:38:44,954
- Son of a bitch!
- Yes! I told you, Reynolds! Pay up!
560
00:38:45,024 --> 00:38:47,424
- I got it.
- Am I missin' somethin'?
561
00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:50,326
Nah, nah, he just bet me
you were the Ollie Trinke,
562
00:38:50,396 --> 00:38:52,023
the one who pulled “The Fresh Prince”.
563
00:38:52,098 --> 00:38:54,362
- They named it?
- Of course!
564
00:38:54,434 --> 00:38:56,766
Are you kidding?
You're a legend, man!
565
00:38:56,836 --> 00:38:59,634
You did what every flack
only dreams about doing!
566
00:38:59,705 --> 00:39:01,673
- Which was what?
- You went apeshit!
567
00:39:01,741 --> 00:39:03,709
You trashed your client
back to the Stone Age.
568
00:39:03,776 --> 00:39:06,074
- Yeah.
- We bow to you, man.
569
00:39:06,145 --> 00:39:08,545
- You're like a god around here.
- Yep, exactly.
570
00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:11,981
- God enough to get a job?
- No.
571
00:39:12,051 --> 00:39:15,748
- What, are you insane?
- No chance, Trinke!
572
00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:20,353
- Pop, I'm home!
- Yeah, like I give a shit.
573
00:39:20,426 --> 00:39:22,223
You know, thanks a lot, Pop!
574
00:39:30,069 --> 00:39:33,129
- That's what it looks like?
- I guess.
575
00:39:33,206 --> 00:39:36,334
- What does yours look like?
- Not like that.
576
00:39:36,409 --> 00:39:38,172
Yeah? Let me see.
577
00:39:38,244 --> 00:39:40,235
All right.
578
00:39:41,414 --> 00:39:44,747
Gertie!
It's time for Bryan to go home.
579
00:39:54,894 --> 00:39:56,725
OK...
580
00:40:03,703 --> 00:40:06,672
What are your intentions?
581
00:40:06,739 --> 00:40:09,799
What are your intentions
with my daughter?
582
00:40:09,876 --> 00:40:13,835
- Do you plan on marrying her?
- I don't know.
583
00:40:13,913 --> 00:40:17,679
Well, only married boys and girls...
584
00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:20,150
show each other their...
585
00:40:20,219 --> 00:40:22,779
their, you know...
586
00:40:22,855 --> 00:40:25,221
parts.
587
00:40:25,291 --> 00:40:26,315
OK?
588
00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:33,293
OK, Bryan, you can go now.
If you come back, come back with a ring.
589
00:40:33,366 --> 00:40:35,197
Yes, Mr. Trinke.
590
00:40:35,268 --> 00:40:37,031
- Bye, Gertie.
- Bye.
591
00:40:37,103 --> 00:40:39,230
Goodbye, Bryan.
592
00:40:41,807 --> 00:40:43,434
OK.
593
00:40:44,377 --> 00:40:46,937
Do you have any...
594
00:40:48,147 --> 00:40:51,742
questions about what you...
595
00:40:51,817 --> 00:40:53,307
you know...
596
00:40:55,054 --> 00:40:57,921
you know, whatever, saw?
597
00:41:02,495 --> 00:41:04,690
Do you have what Bryan has?
598
00:41:08,801 --> 00:41:13,204
Yes, I have one... too.
599
00:41:15,775 --> 00:41:18,005
Is yours as big as his?
600
00:41:20,980 --> 00:41:23,039
Sadly, yes.
601
00:41:23,616 --> 00:41:26,278
- Can we rent a movie?
- Yes.
602
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:32,914
- So they wouldn't give you a job?
- No. But apparently, Daddy's a legend.
603
00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:36,018
You don't need that job anyway.
You already got a job.
604
00:41:36,095 --> 00:41:39,360
Yes, well,
Daddy used to have a job
605
00:41:39,432 --> 00:41:41,730
where a nightly shower was an option,
not a necessity.
606
00:41:41,801 --> 00:41:43,996
- You know what job you should do?
- What's that?
607
00:41:44,070 --> 00:41:46,766
You should be a dance teacher,
like Johnny in Dirty Dancing.
608
00:41:46,839 --> 00:41:51,242
I should? Should I say,
“Nobody puts Baby in a corner”?
609
00:41:51,310 --> 00:41:53,175
Oh, can we rent
Dirty Dancing again?
610
00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:57,147
Dirty Dancing ranks one notch
below Cats in my book.
611
00:41:57,216 --> 00:41:59,741
Can you pick out something else?
612
00:42:01,721 --> 00:42:03,882
Can we rent this?
613
00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:07,653
Absolutely not. Go pick out something
from the children's section.
614
00:42:07,727 --> 00:42:11,493
- All those movies suck.
- Watch your language.
615
00:42:39,458 --> 00:42:41,926
Nah, that's...
616
00:42:41,994 --> 00:42:44,519
No, I guess that's it.
Yep, yep, that's it.
617
00:42:46,065 --> 00:42:49,193
I'll just take this
and whatever the kid's getting.
618
00:42:49,268 --> 00:42:52,795
Just go ahead and put it in the bag.
I'm all set.
619
00:42:52,872 --> 00:42:54,863
It's good.
620
00:42:57,209 --> 00:43:00,872
“Bi-Bi Guys, featuring Curious Jordie”?
621
00:43:02,782 --> 00:43:06,479
Interesting choice. Does the wife know
you're looking into your options?
622
00:43:06,552 --> 00:43:08,679
It's... I got the...
623
00:43:09,655 --> 00:43:11,885
- I got the wrong box by accident.
- Oh, right.
624
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:15,120
Would you mind...
exchanging that for me for something...
625
00:43:15,194 --> 00:43:17,890
anything you can get your hands on
that's, you know...
626
00:43:17,963 --> 00:43:21,660
- So, then you want something...
- ...that's non-bi.
627
00:43:27,406 --> 00:43:29,203
Can I have your
membership card, please?
628
00:43:29,275 --> 00:43:31,072
Yeah, sure.
629
00:43:31,143 --> 00:43:34,579
Do you mind if I asked you a few questions
about your renting practices?
630
00:43:34,647 --> 00:43:36,581
Sure.
631
00:43:36,649 --> 00:43:38,412
Really?
632
00:43:38,484 --> 00:43:43,285
Do you always rent adult titles with your
daughter in tow, or is this the first time?
633
00:43:43,355 --> 00:43:44,253
Excuse me?
634
00:43:44,323 --> 00:43:47,656
When you rent porn, do you
usually do it with family around,
635
00:43:47,727 --> 00:43:50,525
or is this like a, you know,
special occasion?
636
00:43:51,731 --> 00:43:56,327
- Do I have to answer this?
- I'm a grad student, writing a thesis paper.
637
00:43:56,402 --> 00:44:01,237
“A Bird in the Hand: The Family Man
and the Pornographic Fixation”.
638
00:44:02,875 --> 00:44:05,207
OK. I would rather not take part.
639
00:44:05,277 --> 00:44:06,642
Really?
640
00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:09,909
Frank, is Bi-Bi Guys
a one or a two-night rental?
641
00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:14,009
- What are you getting, Daddy?
- Yeah, Daddy. Let's just take a look...
642
00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:16,054
Let's not, OK?
643
00:44:19,358 --> 00:44:23,317
Would you mind not asking me those
questions when my daughter's with me?
644
00:44:23,395 --> 00:44:25,920
How about when you bring these back?
645
00:44:25,998 --> 00:44:27,932
That's... Yeah.
646
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:33,199
In an effort to get honest feedback,
leave the kid and the wife at home.
647
00:44:33,272 --> 00:44:36,537
My mom's dead.
She died when I was born.
648
00:44:36,609 --> 00:44:38,440
Oh, Jesus.
649
00:44:39,145 --> 00:44:41,443
Man, I'm sorry. I didn't...
650
00:44:41,514 --> 00:44:43,948
No, you didn't.
651
00:44:46,685 --> 00:44:48,414
Let's go.
652
00:44:50,456 --> 00:44:52,651
I'm sorry.
653
00:44:52,725 --> 00:44:54,750
Do I have to?
654
00:44:54,827 --> 00:44:59,958
Major Damage didn't have to go to bed
when he fought the Tiki Terrors!
655
00:45:00,032 --> 00:45:02,000
- Melvin!
- And do they...
656
00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:03,898
I'll get it.
657
00:45:03,969 --> 00:45:07,302
You will not. You're not even
supposed to be up this late.
658
00:45:07,373 --> 00:45:09,637
Watch your video.
659
00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:12,506
- But, Mom!
- Say, “OK, Mom.”
660
00:45:12,578 --> 00:45:15,240
Say, “OK, Mom.”
661
00:45:16,115 --> 00:45:17,480
Hi.
662
00:45:17,550 --> 00:45:19,780
Hey! You're the lady
from the video store.
663
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:25,452
Let's not use that term too loosely, OK?
Go back and watch your video.
664
00:45:27,893 --> 00:45:29,121
Yes?
665
00:45:29,195 --> 00:45:31,186
I just wanted to come here
666
00:45:31,263 --> 00:45:35,029
and tell you that I'm really sorry
about earlier tonight.
667
00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:38,866
I feel like shit about what I said
and your daughter and everything.
668
00:45:38,938 --> 00:45:41,907
Well... you should.
669
00:45:41,974 --> 00:45:44,169
You know that kid was crying
in the car the whole way home?
670
00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,973
- Oh, no...
- No, I wasn't.
671
00:45:47,513 --> 00:45:51,176
- Get back inside and watch your video!
- Nice! Real nice.
672
00:45:51,250 --> 00:45:54,947
See, now you have to let me
interview you for my paper.
673
00:45:55,020 --> 00:45:56,544
Is that why you're here?
674
00:45:56,622 --> 00:45:59,557
I just think you'd make one hell of
an interesting case study.
675
00:45:59,625 --> 00:46:03,891
The sympathetic widower who doesn't have
time to date 'cause he's raising a kid,
676
00:46:03,963 --> 00:46:07,296
so he rents porn instead. I mean,
I think that's very interesting stuff.
677
00:46:07,366 --> 00:46:09,857
Jesus Christ!
You've got some nerve, lady.
678
00:46:09,935 --> 00:46:13,302
And besides,
I'd really like to make it up to you.
679
00:46:13,372 --> 00:46:16,364
For what I said,
and for embarrassing you before that.
680
00:46:16,442 --> 00:46:19,468
You're really having a banner evening.
You're batting a thousand tonight.
681
00:46:19,545 --> 00:46:22,981
You're Ollie, right?
I'm Maya Harding.
682
00:46:25,918 --> 00:46:27,909
“Hi, Maya. Nice to meet you.”
683
00:46:27,987 --> 00:46:28,976
Hi.
684
00:46:29,054 --> 00:46:31,716
Come on, why don't you let me
take you out one day this week?
685
00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:35,521
You do eat lunch when you're not
knee-deep in adult movies, right?
686
00:46:36,528 --> 00:46:39,622
I appreciate it, but...
no thanks.
687
00:46:39,698 --> 00:46:42,690
Ollie, come on,
you're ruining my karma level here.
688
00:46:42,768 --> 00:46:45,362
What, buying me one lunch
is gonna square you with Krishna?
689
00:46:45,437 --> 00:46:46,927
Hare Hare!
690
00:46:49,942 --> 00:46:52,240
Is Monday OK? Sound good?
691
00:46:52,311 --> 00:46:57,305
I mean, I was thinking nothing fancy.
I was thinking maybe, like, the diner.
692
00:46:57,383 --> 00:47:00,546
- Around noon?
- No!
693
00:47:02,021 --> 00:47:03,886
Noon it is!
694
00:47:03,956 --> 00:47:05,685
Oh...
695
00:47:05,758 --> 00:47:07,783
See you there. Bye!
696
00:47:10,529 --> 00:47:12,656
An incredibly strange woman.
697
00:47:22,541 --> 00:47:25,237
I did not hear the toilet flush.
698
00:47:30,249 --> 00:47:31,682
Thank you.
699
00:47:35,587 --> 00:47:38,852
- Can we get popcorn?
- This isn't the movies, sweetheart.
700
00:47:38,924 --> 00:47:44,260
They don't sell popcorn here.
This is Broadway. This is class.
701
00:47:44,330 --> 00:47:46,764
♪ And if you're beautiful
702
00:47:46,832 --> 00:47:47,821
♪ What then?
703
00:47:47,900 --> 00:47:50,266
♪ With yellow hair like wheat
704
00:47:50,336 --> 00:47:54,670
♪ I think we shall not meet again,
my little dove
705
00:47:54,740 --> 00:47:57,800
♪ My sweet Johanna
706
00:48:02,681 --> 00:48:05,377
♪ Goodbye, Johanna
707
00:48:05,818 --> 00:48:08,412
♪ You're gone and yet you're mine
708
00:48:08,921 --> 00:48:11,185
♪ I'm fine, Johanna
709
00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:14,987
♪ I'm fine
710
00:48:15,427 --> 00:48:19,261
OK. You see that floor.
Now look three windows in from the right.
711
00:48:19,331 --> 00:48:23,199
See that window? That's where we
used to live before we lived with Pop.
712
00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:25,862
We'd still live there
if we lived in the city.
713
00:48:25,938 --> 00:48:28,873
- If Mommy was still alive?
- Yep.
714
00:48:29,775 --> 00:48:31,299
- Dad...
- Yes?
715
00:48:31,377 --> 00:48:33,845
Do you miss Mommy?
716
00:48:33,912 --> 00:48:36,710
I do. Every day.
717
00:48:37,449 --> 00:48:40,976
- What was she like?
- I've told you a million times.
718
00:48:41,053 --> 00:48:44,580
- I know, but I forget.
- No, I don't think you forget.
719
00:48:44,656 --> 00:48:47,454
I think you just like to hear me tell you.
Which is OK. It's all right.
720
00:48:47,526 --> 00:48:49,187
You can ask about your mommy
as much as you want.
721
00:48:49,261 --> 00:48:50,785
So tell me already.
722
00:48:50,863 --> 00:48:53,832
Well, she was pushy,
like you were right there.
723
00:48:53,899 --> 00:48:57,892
She was beautiful,
like you are right now.
724
00:48:57,970 --> 00:49:01,531
And she was... smart...
725
00:49:02,674 --> 00:49:05,507
and strong,
like you'll grow up to be one day.
726
00:49:05,577 --> 00:49:06,874
I'm smart now.
727
00:49:06,945 --> 00:49:09,470
I know. I wasn't impugning
your intelligence or anything.
728
00:49:09,548 --> 00:49:11,539
What's “impugning” mean?
729
00:49:11,617 --> 00:49:13,744
Oh, not so smart now, are you?
730
00:49:13,819 --> 00:49:16,447
- That's a big word.
- Yes, you're right, it is.
731
00:49:16,522 --> 00:49:19,150
Let's see.
To impugn means to criticize.
732
00:49:19,224 --> 00:49:23,558
So... Pop's always impugning you, right?
733
00:49:24,063 --> 00:49:25,553
Well, he thinks he is.
734
00:49:25,631 --> 00:49:27,997
But he's just talking
to make sure he's still alive.
735
00:49:28,067 --> 00:49:30,968
Pop is a very, very old man.
736
00:49:32,871 --> 00:49:34,862
What do you think?
You like the city?
737
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:37,770
It's OK.
But I like Highlands better.
738
00:49:37,843 --> 00:49:39,435
- You do?
- Yeah.
739
00:49:39,511 --> 00:49:43,277
My school's there, and my friends...
And we can rent movies there.
740
00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:46,943
Well, if memory serves,
you can rent movies here too.
741
00:49:47,019 --> 00:49:50,113
Yeah, but not from that pretty lady
at the video store.
742
00:49:50,189 --> 00:49:52,555
- Oh, you think she's pretty, do you?
- Don't you?
743
00:49:52,624 --> 00:49:55,422
Isn't that why
you're taking her on a date?
744
00:49:55,494 --> 00:49:59,760
It's not a date.
The only girl I take on dates is you, OK?
745
00:49:59,832 --> 00:50:01,299
This is a date.
We're on a date.
746
00:50:01,366 --> 00:50:03,129
- We are?
- Mm-hm.
747
00:50:03,202 --> 00:50:06,467
- It doesn't feel like a date.
- It doesn't?
748
00:50:06,538 --> 00:50:09,336
Well, I can fix that.
749
00:50:11,276 --> 00:50:12,106
Sir!
750
00:50:30,863 --> 00:50:34,765
How often do you rent adult movies?
751
00:50:35,934 --> 00:50:39,301
- Do I really have to do this?
- You have nothing to be ashamed about.
752
00:50:39,371 --> 00:50:43,000
Interest in adult film can be healthy,
as long as it's not habitual.
753
00:50:43,075 --> 00:50:47,842
- So come on, how often?
- Three or four times a week.
754
00:50:48,614 --> 00:50:51,082
OK, maybe I was wrong.
You should be ashamed.
755
00:50:51,150 --> 00:50:53,516
You have a real talent
for making the subject feel open
756
00:50:53,585 --> 00:50:55,678
and comfortable
in a safe environment.
757
00:50:55,754 --> 00:50:58,848
So you're renting it presumably
to masturbate to, right?
758
00:50:58,924 --> 00:51:01,415
- Good God!
- Come on, don't be such a tight-ass.
759
00:51:01,493 --> 00:51:02,585
We're all adults here.
760
00:51:02,661 --> 00:51:04,458
I know I'm an adult.
How old are you, exactly?
761
00:51:04,530 --> 00:51:06,521
- I'll be 26 in March.
- 26?
762
00:51:06,598 --> 00:51:09,692
You still haven't learned some things
aren't polite to talk about in public?
763
00:51:09,768 --> 00:51:13,363
If it makes you feel any better,
I do it, like, twice a day.
764
00:51:13,772 --> 00:51:17,299
- Good God!
- What can I tell ya? I get bored easily.
765
00:51:17,376 --> 00:51:19,844
You're gonna get
carpal tunnel syndrome.
766
00:51:19,912 --> 00:51:23,439
Don't get all judgmental with me.
You're no slouch yourself.
767
00:51:23,515 --> 00:51:26,348
- Well, no, I...
- I just have a healthy sexual appetite.
768
00:51:26,418 --> 00:51:28,682
Why don't you go out
and get yourself a boyfriend?
769
00:51:28,754 --> 00:51:30,984
Why don't you just go out
and get yourself a girlfriend?
770
00:51:31,056 --> 00:51:33,149
I work all day,
I hang out with my kid all night.
771
00:51:33,225 --> 00:51:35,489
So you'd rather hang out with your kid
than get laid?
772
00:51:35,561 --> 00:51:40,555
- Yeah.
- Aw... that's kinda sweet.
773
00:51:41,700 --> 00:51:44,328
I'm kinda crushin' on
you right now, Trinke.
774
00:51:44,403 --> 00:51:46,564
OK. Can I go home now?
775
00:51:46,638 --> 00:51:49,505
No.
When was the last time you had sex?
776
00:51:50,909 --> 00:51:53,810
I would rather not
disclose that information.
777
00:51:53,879 --> 00:51:55,540
Oh, come on,
don't clam up on me now.
778
00:51:55,614 --> 00:51:57,809
You're gonna remain anonymous
in my paper.
779
00:51:57,883 --> 00:52:01,182
Ha! Anonymity doesn't concern me.
Embarrassment does.
780
00:52:01,253 --> 00:52:04,654
- Why would you be embarrassed?
- Because it's been a long time.
781
00:52:04,723 --> 00:52:08,056
- How long?
- A long time.
782
00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:11,061
Come on, champ. Own it.
Just put it out there.
783
00:52:11,129 --> 00:52:13,757
I swear I won't make
any editorial cracks about it.
784
00:52:13,832 --> 00:52:16,300
Not in front of you, at least.
785
00:52:19,438 --> 00:52:23,499
- Seven years.
- Seven years?
786
00:52:23,575 --> 00:52:26,305
Since my wife died, yeah.
787
00:52:27,379 --> 00:52:31,281
You know, a dumbfounded,
mouth-agape look of shock
788
00:52:31,350 --> 00:52:34,251
might be construed by some
as an editorial crack too.
789
00:52:34,653 --> 00:52:37,213
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK. It's fine.
790
00:52:37,289 --> 00:52:40,656
No, it's not.
I mean, it's not at all.
791
00:52:40,726 --> 00:52:44,890
With all due respect to your wife,
you've gotta get back on the horse, man.
792
00:52:44,963 --> 00:52:47,898
- No, I don't, actually.
- Yes, you do.
793
00:52:47,966 --> 00:52:51,265
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you... Get up.
794
00:52:51,336 --> 00:52:54,464
- Are we done?
- With this, for now. But come with me.
795
00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:56,473
Lord have mercy.
796
00:52:58,043 --> 00:53:00,102
- Where are we going?
- To your place.
797
00:53:00,178 --> 00:53:02,669
We're gonna have some sex.
798
00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:09,979
- What, did you forget something?
- No. Look, I appreciate the offer.
799
00:53:10,889 --> 00:53:14,484
I'm very flattered.
But I can't do this.
800
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,060
What's the matter?
Don't you think I'm cute?
801
00:53:17,129 --> 00:53:19,597
- Of course I think you're cute.
- Well, then?
802
00:53:19,665 --> 00:53:22,634
Look, I'm not just celibate
because of my daughter.
803
00:53:22,701 --> 00:53:24,896
There are a lot of emotional
issues in it too.
804
00:53:24,970 --> 00:53:29,600
I mean, my wife may be dead.
I'm still very much in love with her.
805
00:53:29,675 --> 00:53:32,803
Hey, I respect that. I'm not telling you
to fall in love with me here,
806
00:53:32,878 --> 00:53:34,903
and I'm not trying to replace your wife.
807
00:53:34,980 --> 00:53:39,542
I'm just talking about two consenting
adults having some casual sex.
808
00:53:39,618 --> 00:53:44,180
Probably some really short casual sex,
with you being a little out of practice.
809
00:53:44,256 --> 00:53:47,191
- I can't do it, I'm sorry.
- What are you, a monk?
810
00:53:47,259 --> 00:53:49,955
God!
Let's look at this logically, OK?
811
00:53:50,028 --> 00:53:53,589
- You rent porn and touch yourself, right?
- Would you lower your voice?
812
00:53:53,665 --> 00:53:56,828
If you're not sweating how your wife
would feel about you and porn,
813
00:53:56,902 --> 00:54:01,100
then you shouldn't sweat what
I'm proposing 'cause it's the same thing.
814
00:54:01,173 --> 00:54:05,166
Only somebody else is doing the touching
and you're saving a $2 rental fee.
815
00:54:06,611 --> 00:54:11,105
Come on, stud.
Man cannot live on porn alone.
816
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:30,529
Oh, God...
817
00:54:31,570 --> 00:54:33,834
I'm home!
818
00:54:33,905 --> 00:54:34,997
Pop?!
819
00:54:35,073 --> 00:54:39,373
- Oh, my God... What do I do?
- Get in the bathroom!
820
00:54:57,262 --> 00:55:00,857
- Pop?
- No, honey, it's me.
821
00:55:00,932 --> 00:55:03,924
Daddy? Why aren't you at work?
822
00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:08,831
Because I had to come home and do...
I had to...
823
00:55:08,907 --> 00:55:11,171
come home and take a shower.
824
00:55:12,177 --> 00:55:15,271
- Can we rent a movie?
- Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
825
00:55:15,347 --> 00:55:18,544
As soon as I get done up here
and dry off, I'll come down.
826
00:55:18,617 --> 00:55:20,414
OK.
827
00:55:22,821 --> 00:55:24,550
Oh, my God. That was so close.
828
00:55:24,623 --> 00:55:26,921
What do we do now? I'm wet.
829
00:55:33,999 --> 00:55:36,229
Sorry, Dad, I forgot again.
830
00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:50,037
Hi, honey.
831
00:55:50,115 --> 00:55:53,380
You remember Maya.
From the video store.
832
00:56:05,864 --> 00:56:09,766
- What are your intentions?
- Excuse me?
833
00:56:09,835 --> 00:56:11,894
What are your intentions
with my father?
834
00:56:11,970 --> 00:56:13,961
Like, do you plan on marrying him?
835
00:56:14,406 --> 00:56:16,169
I don't...
836
00:56:16,241 --> 00:56:20,143
Because I was taught that only married
girls show their girl parts to boys.
837
00:56:20,212 --> 00:56:25,275
- Right, Daddy?
- Right. Yes.
838
00:56:25,684 --> 00:56:27,413
Mm-hm.
839
00:56:27,486 --> 00:56:30,512
Can we rent all the movies we want
for free?
840
00:56:31,156 --> 00:56:32,145
What?
841
00:56:32,224 --> 00:56:34,749
Can we rent all the movies we want
for free?
842
00:56:34,826 --> 00:56:37,852
Yes! Yes, yes.
For God's sake, yes.
843
00:56:37,929 --> 00:56:42,229
If it means we're not, you know,
that we're not in trouble anymore.
844
00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:43,699
And... Right, Maya? Yes!
845
00:56:43,768 --> 00:56:45,963
Whatever you want.
It's on the house.
846
00:56:46,037 --> 00:56:48,835
Even Dirty Dancing?
847
00:56:54,312 --> 00:56:55,006
Yeah.
848
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,776
And we can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school?
849
00:56:57,849 --> 00:56:58,816
What?
850
00:56:58,884 --> 00:57:00,977
We can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school?
851
00:57:01,052 --> 00:57:04,715
- No, honey, that's too grown-up.
- Really?
852
00:57:05,724 --> 00:57:09,421
Oh man, what am I gonna tell Pop
about you guys?
853
00:57:13,798 --> 00:57:16,494
Fine. We can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school.
854
00:57:16,568 --> 00:57:18,399
OK!
855
00:57:19,070 --> 00:57:21,971
Would you shut the hell up already?
Christ, Greenie, you're always...
856
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,473
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh!
857
00:57:23,542 --> 00:57:28,639
Christ Almighty.
You wearin' a... wearin' a towel?
858
00:57:30,148 --> 00:57:32,139
Just as long as you didn't do it
on my bed.
859
00:57:32,250 --> 00:57:36,653
Oh, Jesus Christ, it was one time in
high school! You wanna let it go already?
860
00:57:36,721 --> 00:57:40,851
I banged a broad
in my parents' bed once. It was nice.
861
00:57:41,593 --> 00:57:45,757
Terrific. Just so you know,
we didn't “bang”.
862
00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:47,821
- What, did ya get to third base?
- No!
863
00:57:47,899 --> 00:57:50,026
Not that it's any of your business,
but we didn't do anything.
864
00:57:50,101 --> 00:57:52,592
We lost our heads for a second,
then cooler heads prevailed
865
00:57:52,671 --> 00:57:55,231
and we stopped before we
did anything we'd both regret.
866
00:57:55,307 --> 00:57:58,105
- The kid busted in on 'em.
- Oh.
867
00:57:58,176 --> 00:58:00,610
Let's talk about something else
for a second, like this water main.
868
00:58:00,679 --> 00:58:02,977
- How bad is it?
- Definitely needs to be replaced.
869
00:58:03,048 --> 00:58:05,949
Jesus Christ. If we gotta shut down
Bay Avenue for that,
870
00:58:06,017 --> 00:58:08,008
this town is gonna throw a shit fit.
871
00:58:08,086 --> 00:58:09,314
I'm sure.
872
00:58:09,387 --> 00:58:13,323
Hey, kid, you haven't had to inconvenience
the taxpayers on the job yet.
873
00:58:13,391 --> 00:58:16,292
They get like animals.
Remember back in '88?
874
00:58:16,361 --> 00:58:17,794
South Peak Street.
875
00:58:17,862 --> 00:58:21,263
Holy shit, I thought they were gonna
crucify us upside down.
876
00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:25,736
- Like St Peter.
- Who are you, the Holy Father?
877
00:58:25,804 --> 00:58:29,433
Everybody knows I meant St Peter.
You don't have to explain my shit.
878
00:58:29,507 --> 00:58:30,872
I'm just saying...
879
00:58:30,942 --> 00:58:33,069
When I was down there,
how many cars did you wave around?
880
00:58:33,144 --> 00:58:34,133
Three or four.
881
00:58:34,212 --> 00:58:37,807
Three or four cars
for the whole half hour I was down there?
882
00:58:37,882 --> 00:58:39,110
Well, it was rush hour.
883
00:58:39,184 --> 00:58:42,517
Yeah, I don't think the legion of commuters
in the Highlands of New Jersey
884
00:58:42,587 --> 00:58:47,615
are gonna object to us closing down a
small portion of Bay Avenue for a few days.
885
00:58:47,692 --> 00:58:50,957
One at a time, please! One at a time!
886
00:58:52,731 --> 00:58:55,757
- We're doing the best we can.
- You were saying?
887
00:58:55,834 --> 00:59:00,294
Why doesn't somebody just go up there
and explain to them what's happening?
888
00:59:00,372 --> 00:59:02,932
Why don't you do it, Daddy?
Wasn't that your old job?
889
00:59:03,008 --> 00:59:06,409
Making people like singers
by saying nice things about 'em?
890
00:59:07,145 --> 00:59:10,842
- Yes, baby, but...
- No, the kid's got a point there.
891
00:59:10,915 --> 00:59:12,974
As a guy who used to
sling bullshit for a living,
892
00:59:13,051 --> 00:59:15,485
I nominate you to go up there
and say something.
893
00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:17,077
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah.
894
00:59:17,155 --> 00:59:19,953
- It can't hurt.
- Go ahead.
895
00:59:22,127 --> 00:59:24,357
Thanks, Pop.
896
00:59:26,097 --> 00:59:28,190
Control yourselves!
897
00:59:29,534 --> 00:59:31,525
He's goin' up there.
898
00:59:34,739 --> 00:59:38,038
Folks, one second.
Please. Folks.
899
00:59:38,109 --> 00:59:42,239
My name's Oliver Trinke
and I'm with the borough.
900
00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:45,282
So I guess that makes me
the least popular guy in the room.
901
00:59:51,856 --> 00:59:54,484
I want to assure you that...
902
00:59:54,559 --> 00:59:58,723
this Bay Avenue job will be
a very minimal inconvenience.
903
00:59:58,797 --> 01:00:00,788
It'll only take three days at the most.
904
01:00:00,865 --> 01:00:03,095
Bullshit! Bullshit!
905
01:00:11,976 --> 01:00:15,673
Folks, a little decorum!
A little decorum!
906
01:00:27,559 --> 01:00:29,322
Folks, one second.
907
01:00:29,394 --> 01:00:33,160
I just have one more thing
that I just want to add.
908
01:00:42,874 --> 01:00:45,968
I live in this town. I see you guys
headin' to work every day.
909
01:01:12,537 --> 01:01:14,061
I'm telling you,
it was amazing!
910
01:01:14,139 --> 01:01:19,270
And I get up there and I weave this
web of bullshit so profoundly mesmerizing,
911
01:01:19,344 --> 01:01:22,780
- I turn the entire place around!
- You silver-tongued devil, you.
912
01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:26,749
Everything I was saying
was just right on the money, you know?
913
01:01:26,818 --> 01:01:30,652
Maybe that's 'cause you weren't actually
slinging as much bullshit as you thought.
914
01:01:30,722 --> 01:01:33,987
“Get out there and play in the dirt”?
I mean, what... I made that up!
915
01:01:34,058 --> 01:01:36,754
Sounds pretty good to me.
Hey, Gert.
916
01:01:36,828 --> 01:01:41,128
The sad thing is, I had a greater sense of
accomplishment from the water-main thing
917
01:01:41,199 --> 01:01:43,190
than anything else I've done
in the past seven years.
918
01:01:43,268 --> 01:01:46,260
I get it. I mean, you set out
to do something and you did it.
919
01:01:46,337 --> 01:01:48,931
So you feel drunk with power now.
Makes sense.
920
01:01:49,007 --> 01:01:52,374
That's just it. I was the youngest flack
ever put in charge of its entire division...
921
01:01:52,443 --> 01:01:53,842
in the history of
Mandell Kirschner.
922
01:01:53,912 --> 01:01:55,846
- I know.
- That's an accomplishment.
923
01:01:55,914 --> 01:01:59,281
Convincing a town to approve something
that's already in their best interest?
924
01:01:59,350 --> 01:02:02,842
- That's just delayed common sense.
- Yeah, but that's your life now.
925
01:02:02,921 --> 01:02:06,448
I mean, being the youngest flack
in the history of blah, blah, blah...
926
01:02:06,524 --> 01:02:09,925
that's not you anymore.
I mean, that might never have been you.
927
01:02:09,994 --> 01:02:12,326
Oh, it was me.
It was me with my own apartment,
928
01:02:12,397 --> 01:02:14,661
me richer, me with more self-respect.
929
01:02:14,732 --> 01:02:16,962
Like it or not, this is you.
930
01:02:17,035 --> 01:02:21,369
I mean, forget about what you thought
you were and just accept who you are.
931
01:02:22,373 --> 01:02:26,241
- I guess I'll just get this.
- Gert, what are you doing?
932
01:02:26,311 --> 01:02:30,213
I distinctly remember your father telling
you you could get Dirty Dancing.
933
01:02:30,281 --> 01:02:34,115
- Oh, yeah! He did!
- Yeah.
934
01:02:35,620 --> 01:02:37,485
Thanks for that, by the way.
935
01:02:37,555 --> 01:02:41,252
Incidentally, she's been asking me
when she's gonna grow boobies like yours.
936
01:02:41,326 --> 01:02:44,124
- Oh, my God!
- She's seven, OK?
937
01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:48,131
If you want, I can give her the old “boobie”
talk my mom gave me when I was a kid.
938
01:02:48,199 --> 01:02:50,997
Does that talk include
using the word “knockers”?
939
01:02:59,010 --> 01:03:03,709
I'm glad there's no, you know,
awkwardness between us.
940
01:03:03,781 --> 01:03:08,980
After the... well, the thing
that happened last week with...
941
01:03:09,053 --> 01:03:11,544
Ollie, I was gonna give you a mercy jump.
942
01:03:12,190 --> 01:03:15,785
The moment passed.
It's no big deal.
943
01:03:15,860 --> 01:03:19,387
- Just friends, right?
- Yeah, friends.
944
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,967
“Mercy jump.”
Stay away from my kid.
945
01:03:33,912 --> 01:03:36,847
- No, that's too round.
- Shut up.
946
01:03:36,915 --> 01:03:40,681
- Shut up! Shut up!
- Just make it...
947
01:03:40,752 --> 01:03:44,244
- Would you shut the hell up?!
- All right!
948
01:03:44,322 --> 01:03:47,155
There's people gettin'
their throats cut in this thing.
949
01:03:47,225 --> 01:03:48,522
Yep.
950
01:03:48,593 --> 01:03:51,153
And your father said
you could do this for the show?
951
01:03:51,229 --> 01:03:52,662
Yep.
952
01:03:53,364 --> 01:03:56,595
Why the hell would he
OK you singing this shit?
953
01:03:56,668 --> 01:04:00,195
Because I saw him and Maya
naked in the shower.
954
01:04:00,271 --> 01:04:02,034
Oh, yeah.
955
01:04:02,106 --> 01:04:04,597
That'll do it.
956
01:04:26,698 --> 01:04:30,828
Can I speak with
an Arthur Brickman, please?
957
01:04:40,511 --> 01:04:42,877
- Ollie.
- Arthur.
958
01:04:42,947 --> 01:04:44,938
- Hey, man.
- How're you doin'?
959
01:04:45,016 --> 01:04:48,213
- Good. How are you?
- Good. Good to see you.
960
01:04:48,286 --> 01:04:52,347
You know, the town voted unanimously,
approved the water main, so...
961
01:04:52,423 --> 01:04:54,755
You were always great with a crowd.
962
01:04:54,826 --> 01:04:57,920
Well, except that...
that once, of course.
963
01:04:57,996 --> 01:05:01,329
But that's it. It was the polar opposite
of the Fresh Prince incident.
964
01:05:01,399 --> 01:05:07,235
It was like I was on the top of my game.
Which is why I wanted to see ya.
965
01:05:07,305 --> 01:05:11,139
- I wanna ask you a favor.
- Anything, man. What?
966
01:05:11,209 --> 01:05:15,373
Is there any way that you could
get me an interview with your firm?
967
01:05:19,417 --> 01:05:21,885
You're serious?
968
01:05:21,953 --> 01:05:24,285
I thought it was weird
that you wanted to eat here.
969
01:05:24,355 --> 01:05:27,381
- Oh, I know it's gonna be tough...
- Tough?
970
01:05:27,458 --> 01:05:32,054
Ollie, you called a roomful of press
a bunch of jerk-offs,
971
01:05:32,130 --> 01:05:34,997
and trashed a client who's one of
the biggest movie stars on the planet.
972
01:05:35,066 --> 01:05:37,534
- He wasn't big then.
- No, but he is now.
973
01:05:37,602 --> 01:05:40,435
You wanna know how big?
When I left Mandell Kirschner,
974
01:05:40,505 --> 01:05:43,702
there were some firms that wouldn't
even look at my resume because I...
975
01:05:43,775 --> 01:05:46,175
No offense,
but because I worked under you.
976
01:05:48,046 --> 01:05:51,743
I've only been at Angellotti a year now...
977
01:05:51,816 --> 01:05:55,217
You know what, man? Forget I asked.
Don't worry about it. Seriously.
978
01:05:55,286 --> 01:05:58,187
- It was stupid. I got carried away...
- No, let me finish.
979
01:05:58,256 --> 01:06:00,781
What I was gonna say was...
980
01:06:00,858 --> 01:06:06,990
I've been waiting years to be in a position
to be able to help you out, and now I am.
981
01:06:07,065 --> 01:06:09,898
It's not gonna be an easy sell, but...
982
01:06:09,967 --> 01:06:13,926
I think I can get you in a room
with Angellotti himself.
983
01:06:14,739 --> 01:06:17,503
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.
984
01:06:20,178 --> 01:06:22,339
You know, you're a lot more affectionate
than I remember.
985
01:06:22,413 --> 01:06:26,213
It's just...
I miss it so much, you know?
986
01:06:26,284 --> 01:06:28,775
It's the only thing
I was ever any good at.
987
01:06:28,853 --> 01:06:31,651
Oh, this is great.
I can move back here...
988
01:06:31,722 --> 01:06:35,123
I can put Gertie in a really good,
expensive private school...
989
01:06:35,193 --> 01:06:38,094
I can get her a nanny, you know?
990
01:06:38,162 --> 01:06:42,360
It'll be like that whole Fresh Prince thing
never even happened.
991
01:06:42,433 --> 01:06:47,632
I'll work on the old man when I get back to
the office and call you tonight if it's a go.
992
01:06:47,705 --> 01:06:49,036
Oh, great.
993
01:06:49,107 --> 01:06:51,302
♪ Excuse me
994
01:06:51,375 --> 01:06:53,104
♪ Dear, see to the customers
995
01:06:53,177 --> 01:06:55,077
♪ Guess what's the...
996
01:06:55,146 --> 01:06:57,080
- ♪ Quick now!
- ♪ My heart's a-flutter
997
01:06:57,148 --> 01:06:59,048
♪ When I pound the floor
998
01:06:59,117 --> 01:07:00,812
♪ It's a signal to show
that I'm ready to go
999
01:07:00,885 --> 01:07:04,548
♪ When I pound the floor...
I have to get the phone.
1000
01:07:04,622 --> 01:07:07,523
Come on, Pop! Do Dad's part.
1001
01:07:07,592 --> 01:07:09,150
- Me?
- Yeah.
1002
01:07:09,227 --> 01:07:10,819
Yeah, go do that.
1003
01:07:11,863 --> 01:07:14,423
Hello? Hey, Arthur.
1004
01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:20,299
You're kidding?
1005
01:07:23,941 --> 01:07:26,808
♪ I'll pound three times
Three times...
1006
01:07:26,878 --> 01:07:30,507
Why do I have to sing your dad's part? I'm
supposed to be the guy who gets clipped.
1007
01:07:30,581 --> 01:07:34,642
- You are, but you're Dad's understudy too.
- What the hell is that?
1008
01:07:34,719 --> 01:07:36,949
It means if Daddy breaks a leg,
then you do his part for him.
1009
01:07:37,021 --> 01:07:39,819
- So, come on, try it again.
- You're doin' good.
1010
01:07:39,891 --> 01:07:41,950
♪ I'll pound three times...
1011
01:07:42,026 --> 01:07:43,687
♪ Three times!
1012
01:07:43,761 --> 01:07:46,525
Wait, wait, wait! I'm supposed
to be the understudy now.
1013
01:07:46,597 --> 01:07:48,064
I cannot work like this.
I'm sorry.
1014
01:07:48,166 --> 01:07:51,226
- This is no way to run a show.
- You were good.
1015
01:07:51,302 --> 01:07:53,668
You can go back to waiting
in the wings, Tommy Tune.
1016
01:07:53,738 --> 01:07:56,263
I'll be doin' my own singing
henceforth.
1017
01:07:56,340 --> 01:07:58,535
- Who's Tommy Tune?
- Tommy Tune is a man
1018
01:07:58,609 --> 01:08:02,204
that you can get a chance to see
live and on Broadway
1019
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:04,976
when we move back to New York City!
1020
01:08:07,285 --> 01:08:08,479
- What?
- What?
1021
01:08:08,553 --> 01:08:09,383
- What?
- What?
1022
01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,750
Yeah, what?
1023
01:08:10,821 --> 01:08:14,814
I was just on the phone with an old friend
that I worked with at Mandell Kirschner.
1024
01:08:14,892 --> 01:08:18,453
I had lunch with him and I asked him if
he'd get me an interview with his new firm.
1025
01:08:18,529 --> 01:08:22,295
Jesus, another interview, Ollie?
Come on, when are you gonna learn?
1026
01:08:22,366 --> 01:08:26,894
Well, smart guy, he just called me,
said he sat down with his boss,
1027
01:08:26,971 --> 01:08:29,166
sold me to his boss
like I was the cure for cancer.
1028
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:33,370
It just so happens that a little spot
has opened up in their music department.
1029
01:08:33,444 --> 01:08:36,174
Boom!
After six years of being a pariah,
1030
01:08:36,247 --> 01:08:38,306
I'm gonna get back in!
1031
01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:40,077
I'm talkin' about
no more street sweeper,
1032
01:08:40,151 --> 01:08:42,619
no more picking up garbage,
and no more water main!
1033
01:08:42,687 --> 01:08:45,622
I'm talking press lines,
I'm talking about parties!
1034
01:08:45,690 --> 01:08:48,090
I'm talking about a Westside address,
1035
01:08:48,159 --> 01:08:50,252
I'm talkin' about
a good school for Gertie!
1036
01:08:50,328 --> 01:08:51,989
But I already go to a good school.
1037
01:08:52,063 --> 01:08:56,830
Yes, honey, but you're gonna go to a
way, way better school in New York City.
1038
01:08:56,901 --> 01:08:59,495
You're gonna be able to take the
subway to school. Won't that be fun?
1039
01:08:59,570 --> 01:09:01,765
But the subway's full of junkies
and mole-men.
1040
01:09:04,375 --> 01:09:06,502
- Well, they are.
- Don't listen to Pop.
1041
01:09:06,577 --> 01:09:08,602
What do I tell you?
He makes things up!
1042
01:09:08,679 --> 01:09:10,977
- You'll see. The subways are great.
- I don't wanna see.
1043
01:09:11,048 --> 01:09:14,506
I don't wanna go to a school up in the city.
I wanna go to my school.
1044
01:09:14,585 --> 01:09:17,110
Honey, it's gonna be too far of a drive
for me to come back down here
1045
01:09:17,188 --> 01:09:19,019
to take you to school
in New Jersey every morning.
1046
01:09:19,090 --> 01:09:22,025
So let's not move to the city.
Let's stay here with Pop.
1047
01:09:22,093 --> 01:09:26,029
Sweetheart, I'm too old
to be living with my father.
1048
01:09:26,097 --> 01:09:28,190
I need to get my own place.
1049
01:09:28,266 --> 01:09:30,564
And Pop... I mean, look at him,
he's a mad-dog.
1050
01:09:30,635 --> 01:09:33,297
He doesn't want us around here
getting in his way, crampin' his style...
1051
01:09:33,371 --> 01:09:37,398
- Do you, Pop?
- That's all horseshit.
1052
01:09:37,475 --> 01:09:38,965
You know... thanks, Pop.
1053
01:09:39,043 --> 01:09:41,603
I don't wanna move to the city.
I like it here.
1054
01:09:41,679 --> 01:09:44,477
Pop says you can live here
as long as you want.
1055
01:09:44,548 --> 01:09:47,176
Baby, remember when I took you
to see Sweeney Todd?
1056
01:09:47,251 --> 01:09:49,344
How much fun was that?
We had a good time, right?
1057
01:09:49,420 --> 01:09:52,287
I mean, if we move to New York City,
we can do that every night!
1058
01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:54,347
Except for the nights you're working,
of course.
1059
01:09:54,425 --> 01:09:56,393
You know what? Why don't you
shut up for a second, OK?
1060
01:09:56,460 --> 01:09:58,587
I'm trying to talk to my daughter.
1061
01:09:58,663 --> 01:10:01,063
You love New York City.
You told me you loved the city.
1062
01:10:01,132 --> 01:10:02,622
- No, I didn't.
- Oh!
1063
01:10:02,700 --> 01:10:04,691
- I said it was OK.
- Jesus Christ!
1064
01:10:04,769 --> 01:10:08,899
I said I like Highlands better. Why would
you want some other job anyway, Dad?
1065
01:10:08,973 --> 01:10:10,304
You get to ride the Batmobile!
1066
01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:13,309
Baby, Daddy doesn't wanna
drive the Batmobile!
1067
01:10:13,377 --> 01:10:16,312
Daddy wants to eat sushi!
Daddy wants to hail cabs!
1068
01:10:16,380 --> 01:10:18,473
Daddy wants to have a doorman!
1069
01:10:18,549 --> 01:10:21,074
Daddy wants to lord it
over magazine editors!
1070
01:10:21,152 --> 01:10:26,385
Daddy loved his old job, and he's missed it
every day since he's been gone.
1071
01:10:26,457 --> 01:10:30,450
Daddy wants to do that job. Daddy doesn't
wanna pick up garbage forever!
1072
01:10:30,528 --> 01:10:32,928
But you told everybody at the meeting
that your job's good
1073
01:10:32,997 --> 01:10:34,828
because you don't have to
wear a suit.
1074
01:10:34,899 --> 01:10:39,097
Yes, but Daddy was just saying that
to get them to say yes to a water main.
1075
01:10:39,170 --> 01:10:41,434
So you were just lying to everybody?
1076
01:10:42,573 --> 01:10:46,703
Look, OK, I'll tell you what.
I'll go to the meeting, all right?
1077
01:10:46,777 --> 01:10:49,268
If I don't like what the man says,
then I won't take the job.
1078
01:10:49,347 --> 01:10:50,678
Now you're lying to me!
1079
01:10:50,748 --> 01:10:53,273
All right, look, young lady! I'm gonna
go to this job interview on Monday,
1080
01:10:53,351 --> 01:10:54,477
whether you like it or not.
1081
01:10:54,552 --> 01:10:55,644
Wait, this Monday?
1082
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:58,382
- Yes.
- Ollie, you can't go on Monday.
1083
01:10:58,456 --> 01:11:01,118
- Why?
- Because that's the day of my show!
1084
01:11:04,161 --> 01:11:08,621
Oh, shit. It is, isn't it?
1085
01:11:08,699 --> 01:11:12,191
Well, it's at four,
so I can, you know, make it back in time.
1086
01:11:12,269 --> 01:11:13,566
But my show's at five!
1087
01:11:13,637 --> 01:11:15,901
On what planet are you gonna
get back here by five
1088
01:11:15,973 --> 01:11:17,702
if you've got a meeting
in the city at four?
1089
01:11:17,775 --> 01:11:19,902
Just lay off me for a second!
I forgot about the show.
1090
01:11:19,977 --> 01:11:22,172
How could you forget?
What, are you stupid?
1091
01:11:22,246 --> 01:11:24,510
Gertie, this job
is very important to Daddy.
1092
01:11:24,582 --> 01:11:26,914
What about my show?
Isn't that important to you?
1093
01:11:26,984 --> 01:11:28,884
Yes, honey,
that's even more important to me.
1094
01:11:28,953 --> 01:11:32,753
Then don't go to your stupid meeting about
your stupid new job in the stupid city!
1095
01:11:32,823 --> 01:11:35,883
- That's enough, young lady!
- I don't even want you in the show!
1096
01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:37,723
You're not even a good
Sweeney Todd anyway.
1097
01:11:37,795 --> 01:11:41,026
Pop's way better. Even Uncle Greenie
and Uncle Block are better than you.
1098
01:11:41,098 --> 01:11:42,929
Those men are not your uncles!
1099
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,764
Oh, no, but we're good enough
to build sets for her show, right?
1100
01:11:45,836 --> 01:11:48,327
Sorry, I didn't mean that.
Where are you going?
1101
01:11:48,406 --> 01:11:51,933
I don't wanna be around you! I don't even
want you to come to the show to watch it.
1102
01:11:52,009 --> 01:11:56,412
- Oh, come on!
- I don't! I don't even like you anymore!
1103
01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:59,938
Get back here, young lady!
Hey! I'm talkin' to you!
1104
01:12:00,017 --> 01:12:02,611
Hey, young lady!
Get back here, young lady!
1105
01:12:02,686 --> 01:12:05,314
No! You can't tell me what to do!
I don't have to do anything you say!
1106
01:12:05,389 --> 01:12:06,583
- Yes, you do!
- Why?
1107
01:12:06,657 --> 01:12:08,090
Because I'm your father, that's why!
1108
01:12:08,159 --> 01:12:10,286
- So what?
- Don't you yell at me, Gertrude!
1109
01:12:10,361 --> 01:12:11,385
I'll yell at you all I want!
1110
01:12:11,462 --> 01:12:13,953
Blah, blah, blah!
I'm not moving to the stupid city!
1111
01:12:14,031 --> 01:12:17,091
All right, that's it! You are moving to the city
and you're gonna like it, and that's the end.
1112
01:12:17,168 --> 01:12:19,602
I hate you!
I wish you'd died, not Mommy!
1113
01:12:19,670 --> 01:12:21,103
I hate you right back, you little shit!
1114
01:12:21,205 --> 01:12:25,107
You and your mother took my
life away and I just want it back!
1115
01:12:34,151 --> 01:12:36,176
God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I didn't mean...
1116
01:12:36,253 --> 01:12:37,413
- Get off me!
- I'm sorry...
1117
01:12:37,488 --> 01:12:39,479
Get off of me!
1118
01:12:46,864 --> 01:12:49,458
What the hell's the matter with you?
1119
01:13:09,753 --> 01:13:13,450
♪ I took my love and I took it down
1120
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:19,561
♪ I climbed a mountain
and I turned around
1121
01:13:21,098 --> 01:13:28,061
♪ And I saw my reflection
in the snow-covered hills
1122
01:13:28,138 --> 01:13:32,438
♪ Till the landslide brought me down
1123
01:13:34,345 --> 01:13:39,476
♪ Oh, mirror in the sky what is love?
1124
01:13:40,818 --> 01:13:47,223
♪ Can the child within my heart
rise above?
1125
01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:53,958
♪ Can I sail through
the changing ocean tides?
1126
01:13:54,031 --> 01:14:00,834
♪ Can I handle the seasons of my life?
1127
01:14:02,273 --> 01:14:05,674
♪ I don't know
1128
01:14:13,584 --> 01:14:19,352
♪ Well, I've been afraid of changing
1129
01:14:19,423 --> 01:14:24,986
♪ 'Cause I've built my life around you
1130
01:14:26,830 --> 01:14:30,231
♪ But time makes you bolder
1131
01:14:30,868 --> 01:14:33,564
♪ Children get older
1132
01:14:33,637 --> 01:14:38,700
♪ And I'm getting older too
1133
01:14:47,785 --> 01:14:50,015
- Hey.
- Hey.
1134
01:14:50,854 --> 01:14:54,620
What happened to you the other night?
You just sort of took off.
1135
01:14:54,692 --> 01:14:57,217
It looked to me like you guys
needed a little privacy.
1136
01:14:57,294 --> 01:14:59,592
What I really needed was a little backup.
1137
01:14:59,663 --> 01:15:02,496
She's a kid, Ollie.
Kids don't weather change well.
1138
01:15:02,566 --> 01:15:05,899
I mean, in a few years, you won't
be able to keep her out of Manhattan.
1139
01:15:05,970 --> 01:15:08,871
But for now,
she just wants what she knows.
1140
01:15:08,939 --> 01:15:09,928
So do I.
1141
01:15:10,007 --> 01:15:12,202
Yeah, but is that even
what you know anymore?
1142
01:15:12,276 --> 01:15:14,267
Oh, Jesus. You too?
1143
01:15:14,345 --> 01:15:18,179
You want your old life back. Big-money job,
out of your old man's house...
1144
01:15:18,248 --> 01:15:20,580
It's not like it doesn't make any sense.
1145
01:15:21,452 --> 01:15:22,851
Yeah. So?
1146
01:15:22,920 --> 01:15:25,650
That's your life that you want back,
not theirs.
1147
01:15:25,723 --> 01:15:29,682
I mean, this is their life. What you're
sort of saying to everybody who loves you
1148
01:15:29,760 --> 01:15:31,819
is that what we have
isn't good enough for you.
1149
01:15:31,895 --> 01:15:34,489
So it's just upsetting everybody,
you know?
1150
01:15:35,132 --> 01:15:37,794
- Everybody?
- Oh... What, me?
1151
01:15:38,135 --> 01:15:42,071
I mean, it's not like we've got some
big romance going on or anything.
1152
01:15:42,139 --> 01:15:44,471
We're just friends, right?
1153
01:15:44,541 --> 01:15:49,171
Did you ever wonder if...
maybe someday it might...
1154
01:15:50,514 --> 01:15:53,642
be more than that?
1155
01:15:54,752 --> 01:15:59,712
For about two seconds, before you
had me hiding in the shower from your kid.
1156
01:15:59,790 --> 01:16:01,849
Look, Ollie, I like you, but...
1157
01:16:01,925 --> 01:16:05,122
I'm not gonna be all heartbroken
'cause you're leaving town.
1158
01:16:05,195 --> 01:16:06,492
I know.
1159
01:16:06,563 --> 01:16:08,861
Even if I took this job in the city,
1160
01:16:08,932 --> 01:16:15,098
I'd still come back down here
and visit my old man. And you.
1161
01:16:15,172 --> 01:16:20,337
Why? I mean, you think I'm gonna
stick around here for much longer?
1162
01:16:20,411 --> 01:16:22,845
- Maya...
- Ollie...
1163
01:16:24,214 --> 01:16:27,047
I gotta get back to work.
1164
01:16:28,185 --> 01:16:32,622
If... if I don't...
if I don't see you at the show,
1165
01:16:32,690 --> 01:16:36,182
give me a call sometime when
you get all settled up in the big city.
1166
01:16:36,260 --> 01:16:37,625
Come on...
1167
01:16:44,034 --> 01:16:46,002
Shit.
1168
01:17:11,795 --> 01:17:14,320
♪ Now there's tears on the pillow
1169
01:17:15,032 --> 01:17:17,000
♪ Darling where we slept
1170
01:17:18,469 --> 01:17:22,064
♪ And you took my heart when you left
1171
01:17:24,608 --> 01:17:30,547
♪ Without your sweet kiss
my soul is lost, my friend
1172
01:17:30,614 --> 01:17:35,017
♪ Tell me, how do I begin again?
1173
01:17:36,887 --> 01:17:40,482
♪ My city's in ruins
1174
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:47,126
♪ My city's in ruins
1175
01:17:50,701 --> 01:17:53,795
♪ Now with these hands
1176
01:17:54,204 --> 01:17:56,934
♪ With these hands
1177
01:17:57,574 --> 01:18:00,134
♪ With these hands
1178
01:18:00,711 --> 01:18:02,838
♪ With these hands
1179
01:18:02,913 --> 01:18:04,403
♪ I pray, Lord
1180
01:18:04,481 --> 01:18:07,109
♪ With these hands
1181
01:18:07,184 --> 01:18:10,449
- ♪ With these hands
- ♪ I pray for the strength, Lord
1182
01:18:10,521 --> 01:18:15,083
♪ With these hands
With these hands
1183
01:18:15,159 --> 01:18:17,957
♪ I pray for the faith, Lord
1184
01:18:20,297 --> 01:18:22,162
Hi, Daddy.
1185
01:18:22,232 --> 01:18:25,292
Hey, baby. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you up.
1186
01:18:25,369 --> 01:18:27,166
It's OK.
1187
01:18:27,237 --> 01:18:31,731
Listen. I'm sorry -
for yelling at you the other night.
1188
01:18:32,576 --> 01:18:38,071
I was wrong. And I didn't mean
any of the things that I said.
1189
01:18:38,148 --> 01:18:41,140
I know. Neither did I.
1190
01:18:43,487 --> 01:18:46,285
- Daddy?
- Yeah?
1191
01:18:46,356 --> 01:18:49,018
Did Mommy like living in the city?
1192
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:54,096
Yeah, she did. She loved it.
1193
01:18:54,498 --> 01:18:57,092
Then I guess I'll love it too.
1194
01:18:58,235 --> 01:19:00,965
Thanks, sweetheart.
1195
01:19:01,805 --> 01:19:03,568
Thanks.
1196
01:19:06,743 --> 01:19:10,702
You know, I still might make it to your show
tomorrow, if the traffic's not too bad.
1197
01:19:10,781 --> 01:19:15,115
I won't be mad if you miss it.
I understand.
1198
01:19:16,053 --> 01:19:19,853
OK, sweetie. Go back to sleep.
I love you.
1199
01:19:22,426 --> 01:19:24,587
Good night, Daddy.
1200
01:19:26,463 --> 01:19:28,294
Good night.
1201
01:19:28,365 --> 01:19:31,892
- ♪ With these hands
- ♪ I pray for my strength, Lord
1202
01:19:31,969 --> 01:19:37,271
♪ With these hands
With these hands
1203
01:19:37,341 --> 01:19:39,741
♪ Come on, rise up
1204
01:19:41,578 --> 01:19:43,239
♪ Come on, rise up
1205
01:19:43,680 --> 01:19:46,478
♪ Come on, rise up
1206
01:19:46,917 --> 01:19:49,750
♪ Come on, rise up
1207
01:19:50,220 --> 01:19:53,018
♪ Come on, rise up
1208
01:19:53,390 --> 01:19:56,325
♪ Come on, rise up
1209
01:19:56,660 --> 01:20:02,462
♪ Come on, rise up
1210
01:20:04,468 --> 01:20:07,869
George Clooney's office
for Tony on line one.
1211
01:20:07,938 --> 01:20:10,873
The Angellotti Company.
One moment, please.
1212
01:20:10,941 --> 01:20:12,602
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
1213
01:20:12,676 --> 01:20:17,511
My name's Oliver Trinke and I'm here to
see Arthur Brickman and Mr. Angellotti.
1214
01:20:17,581 --> 01:20:18,411
OK.
1215
01:20:18,482 --> 01:20:20,575
Mr. Trinke is here.
1216
01:20:20,651 --> 01:20:22,243
OK, I will.
1217
01:20:22,319 --> 01:20:24,879
- They'll be about ten more minutes.
- OK.
1218
01:20:26,590 --> 01:20:29,582
- You can have a seat.
- Right, right...
1219
01:20:35,098 --> 01:20:36,395
Hello.
1220
01:20:36,466 --> 01:20:39,458
Oh, my God... Hi!
1221
01:20:39,536 --> 01:20:41,697
I'm here to see Brad.
1222
01:20:41,772 --> 01:20:43,865
Yes! He's expecting you, sir.
1223
01:20:43,941 --> 01:20:48,401
He apologizes, but he's stuck in traffic
He's just a few blocks away.
1224
01:20:48,478 --> 01:20:51,811
Why don't you just have a seat
and I'll let him know that you've arrived.
1225
01:20:51,882 --> 01:20:53,873
Thank you very much.
1226
01:21:06,830 --> 01:21:10,163
They love to keep you waiting, don't they?
1227
01:21:11,335 --> 01:21:15,965
- Excuse me?
- They love to keep you waiting.
1228
01:21:16,039 --> 01:21:19,008
Right. Yeah, yeah, they do.
1229
01:21:19,076 --> 01:21:22,102
I think they think it gives them
a psychological edge, you know?
1230
01:21:22,179 --> 01:21:24,739
Well, it's about to give 'em
the edge of my ass,
1231
01:21:24,815 --> 01:21:28,080
'cause that's all they're gonna see
when I'm walkin' out that door.
1232
01:21:28,151 --> 01:21:30,517
You know anything about these guys?
1233
01:21:30,587 --> 01:21:33,055
Only that they're the fastest-growing...
1234
01:21:33,123 --> 01:21:36,923
“...firm in the business.”
Yes, I read that article too.
1235
01:21:36,994 --> 01:21:39,155
All right, well...
You know as much as I do.
1236
01:21:39,229 --> 01:21:41,390
I guess that means
they know what they're doing.
1237
01:21:41,465 --> 01:21:45,731
I suppose. Unless these publicists hire other
publicists to get the word out for 'em.
1238
01:21:45,802 --> 01:21:49,203
Right. And then those publicists
hire their own publicists
1239
01:21:49,272 --> 01:21:52,639
to help spin the good publicity
they created for these publicists.
1240
01:21:52,709 --> 01:21:55,473
Of course, knowing publicists,
they probably hire publicists
1241
01:21:55,545 --> 01:21:57,103
to promote the fact
that they spun the publicity
1242
01:21:57,180 --> 01:22:00,946
that they hired the other publicists
to spin. So...
1243
01:22:01,018 --> 01:22:03,851
- Oh man! So what do you do?
- I'm a publicist.
1244
01:22:06,456 --> 01:22:10,153
I didn't realize I was sitting here
talking to an Angellotti man.
1245
01:22:10,227 --> 01:22:13,822
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm not an Angellotti man.
1246
01:22:13,897 --> 01:22:16,229
At least not yet.
I'm here trying to get a job.
1247
01:22:16,299 --> 01:22:21,327
These guys have been tryin' to steal me
from my publicist since my last flick.
1248
01:22:21,405 --> 01:22:24,374
- Oh, the robot movie, right?
- Oh, yeah, you saw it?
1249
01:22:24,441 --> 01:22:26,739
I haven't gotten around to it yet.
I'm gonna...
1250
01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:29,210
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot
for the support though, man.
1251
01:22:29,279 --> 01:22:33,181
- I wanna see it...
- You know what? It's not that good.
1252
01:22:33,250 --> 01:22:35,946
I have a kid. I don't get a chance
to get out and see movies
1253
01:22:36,019 --> 01:22:38,180
unless they have singing crabs in 'em.
1254
01:22:38,255 --> 01:22:40,951
Singing crabs? I saw that one.
That means you have a girl.
1255
01:22:41,024 --> 01:22:42,491
That's right.
1256
01:22:42,559 --> 01:22:44,618
- How old is she?
- She's seven.
1257
01:22:44,694 --> 01:22:47,254
Yeah? Cool.
I got a girl and two boys.
1258
01:22:47,330 --> 01:22:49,230
Three kids?
1259
01:22:49,299 --> 01:22:52,029
God. How do you find time
to make all those blockbusters?
1260
01:22:52,102 --> 01:22:53,626
Shoot, if I didn't have
all them damn kids,
1261
01:22:53,703 --> 01:22:55,568
I wouldn't have to
make these blockbusters.
1262
01:22:55,639 --> 01:22:57,334
Right.
1263
01:22:57,407 --> 01:22:59,398
Oh, man.
1264
01:23:00,010 --> 01:23:03,036
- It's cool, though, isn't it?
- Making blockbusters?
1265
01:23:03,113 --> 01:23:06,776
- You tell me.
- Bein' a parent, funny man.
1266
01:23:08,085 --> 01:23:10,553
It has its moments.
1267
01:23:10,620 --> 01:23:12,986
- What's your daughter's name?
- Gertrude.
1268
01:23:13,356 --> 01:23:15,916
Damn!
Why'd you do that to that girl, man?
1269
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,128
- Did you lose a bet?
- No.
1270
01:23:19,196 --> 01:23:23,462
- No, it was my wife's name.
- “Was”? OK, let me guess.
1271
01:23:23,533 --> 01:23:27,902
She took you for half after she
saddled the kid with the name Gert?
1272
01:23:27,971 --> 01:23:31,566
I can't blame it on her.
I saddled the kid with the name Gert.
1273
01:23:31,641 --> 01:23:34,701
She died in childbirth. So...
1274
01:23:36,446 --> 01:23:39,210
- No, no, no, it's...
- I feel like an asshole, man.
1275
01:23:39,282 --> 01:23:42,683
- Don't worry about it.
- No, listen, I'm really sorry about that.
1276
01:23:42,752 --> 01:23:47,212
I didn't see your movie,
so we're even. Trust me.
1277
01:23:47,290 --> 01:23:51,283
This is exactly why people don't talk
to each other in waiting rooms, right?
1278
01:23:51,361 --> 01:23:54,330
Probably.
Although, I gotta tell ya...
1279
01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:58,697
the fact that the guy who wrote “Parents
Just Don't Understand” is now a parent
1280
01:23:58,768 --> 01:24:01,168
completely makes up for it.
1281
01:24:02,005 --> 01:24:03,563
Oh, man.
We don't though, do we?
1282
01:24:03,640 --> 01:24:05,835
- What's that?
- Understand.
1283
01:24:05,909 --> 01:24:10,437
I mean, these kids today. From the
door, man, they got it all over us.
1284
01:24:10,547 --> 01:24:14,313
My daughter has it all over me,
I can tell you that.
1285
01:24:14,384 --> 01:24:15,908
Yeah, my middle one, my son?
1286
01:24:15,986 --> 01:24:18,546
Every time I walk out of the house
in the morning
1287
01:24:18,622 --> 01:24:20,954
he says,
“Daddy, how far you love me?”
1288
01:24:21,024 --> 01:24:23,788
I always pick somewhere close.
“I love you to that table, man.”
1289
01:24:23,860 --> 01:24:28,194
“No, you don't. You love me all the way
to the moon and back down to the dirt.”
1290
01:24:29,666 --> 01:24:30,428
That's great.
1291
01:24:30,500 --> 01:24:33,594
It take everything I got
to walk out of that house.
1292
01:24:34,671 --> 01:24:36,730
You get to spend time with them
on the set though, right?
1293
01:24:36,806 --> 01:24:41,106
Oh, yeah. But if I was a smart man,
I wouldn't be sittin' here right now.
1294
01:24:41,178 --> 01:24:44,841
I'd be at home
playing in the dirt with my kids.
1295
01:24:46,650 --> 01:24:49,517
But we all know that I'm not famous
'cause of my brains.
1296
01:24:49,586 --> 01:24:54,455
It's 'cause I'm, like,
strikingly handsome, crazy sexy.
1297
01:24:54,524 --> 01:24:58,551
And I'm, like,
hung like it's ridiculous.
1298
01:24:59,896 --> 01:25:04,924
Oh, man! But I'm definitely not
the sharpest spoon in the shed.
1299
01:25:07,337 --> 01:25:09,862
You know...
1300
01:25:09,940 --> 01:25:12,932
- It was really nice talking to you.
- Oh, hey, you too, man.
1301
01:25:13,009 --> 01:25:15,671
- You out?
- I'm out.
1302
01:25:15,745 --> 01:25:17,679
Hey, you recommend these guys?
1303
01:25:17,747 --> 01:25:21,513
Only guy I can recommend
is named Arthur Brickman.
1304
01:25:21,585 --> 01:25:23,644
Other than that,
I can't vouch for anybody.
1305
01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:26,814
Hold on. You Brickman?
1306
01:25:27,958 --> 01:25:32,588
No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play
in the dirt with his kid.
1307
01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:49,407
- ♪ Toby!
- ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me
1308
01:25:49,479 --> 01:25:51,606
- ♪ Ale there!
- ♪ Right, mum!
1309
01:25:51,681 --> 01:25:52,670
♪ Quick now!
1310
01:25:52,749 --> 01:25:54,649
♪ God, that's good!
1311
01:25:54,718 --> 01:25:57,243
You want some rouge,
or should I just pinch your cheeks?
1312
01:25:57,320 --> 01:26:01,017
Pinch my cheeks, kids' show or not,
I'll put you through the wall.
1313
01:26:13,737 --> 01:26:17,673
I'd like to welcome everyone
to Saint Maria Goretti's
1314
01:26:17,741 --> 01:26:20,232
Student/Family Fall Pageant.
1315
01:26:23,780 --> 01:26:27,614
This is a celebration of
your children and their talents,
1316
01:26:27,684 --> 01:26:29,584
so we hope you enjoy the show.
1317
01:26:29,653 --> 01:26:34,556
Our first act is first-grader
Cynthia Bodnar and her mother Jane,
1318
01:26:34,624 --> 01:26:39,391
performing the song “Memory”
from the Broadway show Cats.
1319
01:26:45,435 --> 01:26:49,895
And now Tracy Colelli,
from Sister Ann's kindergarten class,
1320
01:26:49,973 --> 01:26:54,239
will perform with her parents
“Memory” from Cats.
1321
01:27:08,091 --> 01:27:14,291
And now, first-grader Martin Tobias
and his mother will perform...
1322
01:27:14,364 --> 01:27:16,924
Oh, boy, this is a popular song.
1323
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:19,491
”Memory” from Cats.
1324
01:27:32,449 --> 01:27:34,474
You gotta be kidding me!
1325
01:27:50,700 --> 01:27:54,466
You couldn't make it easy on me,
could you, Gert?
1326
01:28:13,189 --> 01:28:15,419
Honey, it's gonna be OK.
1327
01:28:16,559 --> 01:28:20,051
You're next, Gertie.
Break a leg.
1328
01:28:57,967 --> 01:29:02,336
And now, we have something
not from Cats. Thank God.
1329
01:29:02,405 --> 01:29:06,569
First-grader Gertrude Trinke
and her father, Oliver...
1330
01:29:12,115 --> 01:29:15,482
- Just my grandfather.
- Oh.
1331
01:29:15,552 --> 01:29:20,114
I'm sorry. First-grader Gertrude Trinke
and her grandfather
1332
01:29:20,190 --> 01:29:23,387
will be performing
what I can only assume is a hymn,
1333
01:29:23,460 --> 01:29:28,898
entitled “God, That's Good”,
from the musical Sweeney Todd.
1334
01:29:42,979 --> 01:29:47,006
♪ Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
1335
01:29:48,885 --> 01:29:50,750
♪ Are your nostrils aquiver
and tingling as well
1336
01:29:50,820 --> 01:29:54,347
♪ At that delicate,
luscious, ambrosial smell?
1337
01:29:54,424 --> 01:29:56,654
♪ Yes, they are, I can tell
1338
01:29:56,726 --> 01:30:01,026
♪ Well, ladies and gentlemen,
that aroma enriching the breeze
1339
01:30:01,097 --> 01:30:03,122
♪ Is like nothing
compared to its succulent source
1340
01:30:03,199 --> 01:30:06,191
♪ As the gourmets among you
will tell you, of course
1341
01:30:07,237 --> 01:30:11,697
♪ Ladies and gentlemen,
you can't imagine the rapture and star
1342
01:30:11,774 --> 01:30:15,540
♪ Just inside of this door
1343
01:30:17,881 --> 01:30:21,647
♪ There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
1344
01:30:21,718 --> 01:30:25,347
♪ Savory and sweet pies, as you see
1345
01:30:25,788 --> 01:30:29,815
♪ You who eats pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
1346
01:30:29,893 --> 01:30:33,329
♪ Conjure up the treat
pies used to be
1347
01:30:33,696 --> 01:30:36,688
- ♪ Toby!
- ♪ Coming! 'Scuse me...
1348
01:30:36,766 --> 01:30:38,631
- ♪ Ale there!
- ♪ Right, mum!
1349
01:30:38,701 --> 01:30:41,465
- ♪ Quick now!
- ♪ God, that's good!
1350
01:30:41,538 --> 01:30:43,335
♪ Nice to see you, dearie
1351
01:30:43,406 --> 01:30:45,567
♪ How have you been keeping?
1352
01:30:45,642 --> 01:30:49,134
♪ Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman
1353
01:30:49,212 --> 01:30:52,409
♪ Hear the birdies cheeping?
Helps to keep it cheery
1354
01:30:52,849 --> 01:30:54,840
♪ Toby! Throw the old woman out!
1355
01:30:54,918 --> 01:30:56,579
♪ God, that's good!
1356
01:30:56,653 --> 01:31:00,214
♪ What's your budget, dearie?
No, we don't cut slices
1357
01:31:01,124 --> 01:31:03,115
Take this off.
1358
01:31:04,994 --> 01:31:08,088
♪ ...me prices
I'm a little leery
1359
01:31:08,164 --> 01:31:10,064
♪ Business couldn't be better, though
1360
01:31:10,133 --> 01:31:11,760
♪ God, that's good!
1361
01:31:11,834 --> 01:31:13,734
♪ Knock on wood
1362
01:31:13,803 --> 01:31:15,828
♪ Excuse me
1363
01:31:15,905 --> 01:31:17,736
♪ Dear, see to the customers
1364
01:31:17,807 --> 01:31:20,469
♪ Yes, what, love?
1365
01:31:28,685 --> 01:31:30,846
- ♪ Quick now!
- ♪ Me heart's a-flutter
1366
01:31:30,920 --> 01:31:32,911
- ♪ When I pound the floor...
- ♪ When you pound the floor
1367
01:31:32,989 --> 01:31:34,650
♪ It's a signal to show
that I'm ready to go
1368
01:31:34,724 --> 01:31:36,453
- ♪ When I pound the floor...
- ♪ When you pound the floor
1369
01:31:36,526 --> 01:31:39,461
- ♪ Will you trust me?
- ♪ I just want to be sure
1370
01:31:39,529 --> 01:31:44,262
♪ When I'm certain that you're in place
I'll pound three times
1371
01:31:44,467 --> 01:31:46,867
♪ Three times
1372
01:31:46,936 --> 01:31:49,598
♪ And then you!
1373
01:31:49,672 --> 01:31:52,266
♪ Three times!
1374
01:31:52,342 --> 01:31:54,572
♪ If you...
1375
01:31:54,644 --> 01:31:56,271
♪ Exactly!
1376
01:31:56,346 --> 01:31:58,075
- ♪ More hot pies!
- ♪ God!
1377
01:31:58,147 --> 01:31:59,375
- ♪ More hot!
- ♪ Right!
1378
01:31:59,449 --> 01:32:01,781
♪ More pies! More!
1379
01:32:01,851 --> 01:32:03,648
♪ Wait!
1380
01:32:15,465 --> 01:32:17,797
♪ God, that's good!
1381
01:32:30,246 --> 01:32:31,770
Shit.
1382
01:32:55,505 --> 01:32:58,736
- I love you, Daddy.
- I love you too.
1383
01:32:58,808 --> 01:33:00,799
I love you so much.
1384
01:33:00,877 --> 01:33:03,072
- You were great.
- You too.
1385
01:33:10,019 --> 01:33:12,010
You... guys...
1386
01:33:12,088 --> 01:33:14,886
were... great!
1387
01:33:16,626 --> 01:33:18,617
Oh, God!
1388
01:33:18,695 --> 01:33:21,095
Hey, Gertie!
Come dance with me.
1389
01:33:21,164 --> 01:33:25,260
- Bye, Uncle Greenie. Bye, Uncle Block.
- Bye, sweetheart.
1390
01:33:26,569 --> 01:33:28,935
- I'm startin' to like show business.
- Yeah.
1391
01:33:29,005 --> 01:33:34,033
Well, don't get caught up in the glory.
Tomorrow you're on shithouse duty.
1392
01:33:34,110 --> 01:33:39,412
You know, sometimes I just wanna...
1393
01:33:39,482 --> 01:33:42,713
I'm so tired of being your little geisha.
1394
01:33:42,785 --> 01:33:45,618
You had me worried there for a minute.
1395
01:33:45,688 --> 01:33:49,590
Yeah, who knew all those years
you were nursing a case of stage fright.
1396
01:33:49,659 --> 01:33:53,459
Not about that, smart ass.
About the other thing.
1397
01:33:54,030 --> 01:33:58,023
- About moving away.
- Come on, Dad.
1398
01:33:58,101 --> 01:34:00,160
Don't you wanna live alone again?
1399
01:34:01,104 --> 01:34:04,335
Not as much as
I don't wanna die alone.
1400
01:34:13,583 --> 01:34:15,574
We're not going anywhere, Pop.
1401
01:34:23,126 --> 01:34:24,889
You wanna go over there
and cheer up your pop?
1402
01:34:24,961 --> 01:34:28,522
He's devastated about
missing his big singing debut.
1403
01:34:28,598 --> 01:34:30,589
Aw!
1404
01:34:30,666 --> 01:34:32,861
Pop!
1405
01:34:35,705 --> 01:34:37,730
Hey, Princess!
1406
01:34:38,641 --> 01:34:41,769
Look at you.
Mr. Big Hero of the Night.
1407
01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:46,338
Yeah, well, it might take me
longer than some, but I...
1408
01:34:46,415 --> 01:34:48,747
May I?
1409
01:34:48,818 --> 01:34:50,809
OK.
1410
01:34:52,388 --> 01:34:55,414
I like to think
I come around eventually.
1411
01:34:55,491 --> 01:34:58,688
Well, you showing up
when you did like that?
1412
01:34:58,761 --> 01:35:02,663
That was just about
the most romantic thing I've ever seen.
1413
01:35:04,233 --> 01:35:06,633
Honestly.
1414
01:35:06,702 --> 01:35:09,637
Well... stick around.
1415
01:35:11,607 --> 01:35:14,098
It may get even
more romantic than that.
1416
01:35:14,177 --> 01:35:16,907
- Really?
- Yeah.
1417
01:35:20,449 --> 01:35:23,612
See? How was that for romance?
1418
01:35:27,056 --> 01:35:29,684
I'll think about it.
1419
01:35:31,494 --> 01:35:33,655
Do that.
1420
01:35:34,497 --> 01:35:36,692
Ollie Trinke...
1421
01:36:01,123 --> 01:36:02,385
Hey.
1422
01:36:02,859 --> 01:36:05,760
Your kid's cuttin' a rug with that Maya.
1423
01:36:11,234 --> 01:36:14,635
The sun even shines
on a dog's ass some days.
1424
01:36:15,638 --> 01:36:17,765
You getting a dog?
1425
01:36:23,913 --> 01:36:25,676
Maya?
1426
01:36:25,748 --> 01:36:29,149
- Can I dance with my dad now?
- If you must.
1427
01:36:29,218 --> 01:36:32,745
Don't let him go, though, Gert.
He's one of a kind.
1428
01:36:34,390 --> 01:36:36,415
I know.
1429
01:36:38,127 --> 01:36:40,721
Come here.
1430
01:36:40,796 --> 01:36:43,663
- You wanna dance?
- So, no city?
1431
01:36:44,166 --> 01:36:47,932
- No. No city.
- We're staying here with Pop?
1432
01:36:48,938 --> 01:36:51,702
God help us, yes,
we're staying with Pop.
1433
01:36:51,941 --> 01:36:56,708
- And you're taking me to see Cats?
- Oh-ho! Nice try, but no.
1434
01:36:58,147 --> 01:37:01,742
- Thank you, Daddy.
- Anything for you, Gert.
1435
01:37:02,752 --> 01:37:05,721
- You know why?
- Why?
1436
01:37:06,255 --> 01:37:09,452
'Cause you're the only thing
I was ever really good at.
1437
01:38:21,998 --> 01:38:26,662
♪ I got no time for the corner boys
1438
01:38:27,737 --> 01:38:32,674
♪ Down in the street
making all that noise
1439
01:38:34,143 --> 01:38:38,011
♪ Or the girls out on the avenue
1440
01:38:39,782 --> 01:38:46,085
♪ 'Cause tonight I wanna be with you
1441
01:38:46,155 --> 01:38:50,353
♪ Tonight I'm gonna take that ride
1442
01:38:51,427 --> 01:38:56,194
♪ Across the river to the Jersey side
1443
01:38:57,600 --> 01:39:01,229
♪ Take my baby to the carnival
1444
01:39:03,205 --> 01:39:09,235
♪ Then I'll take her on all the rides
1445
01:39:09,311 --> 01:39:14,806
♪ 'Cause down the shore
everything's all right
1446
01:39:14,884 --> 01:39:20,345
♪ You and your baby
on a Saturday night
1447
01:39:21,590 --> 01:39:25,287
♪ You know all my dreams come true
1448
01:39:26,595 --> 01:39:31,999
♪ When I'm walking
down the street with you
1449
01:39:32,068 --> 01:39:36,767
♪ Sing sha la la la la la la
1450
01:39:38,674 --> 01:39:42,804
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1451
01:39:44,413 --> 01:39:48,611
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1452
01:39:50,019 --> 01:39:56,322
♪ Sha la la
Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
1453
01:39:56,392 --> 01:40:00,453
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1454
01:40:02,431 --> 01:40:06,231
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1455
01:40:08,304 --> 01:40:13,071
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1456
01:40:14,176 --> 01:40:18,112
♪ Sha la la la la la
1457
01:40:19,615 --> 01:40:24,518
♪ You know she thrills me
with all her charms
1458
01:40:25,754 --> 01:40:30,748
♪ When I'm wrapped up
in my baby's arms
1459
01:40:31,560 --> 01:40:35,519
♪ My little girl gives me everything
1460
01:40:37,299 --> 01:40:42,032
♪ I know someday
that she'll wear my ring
1461
01:40:42,938 --> 01:40:48,171
♪ So don't bother me, man,
I ain't got no time
1462
01:40:49,078 --> 01:40:54,516
♪ I'm on my way
to see that girl of mine
1463
01:40:55,317 --> 01:40:59,447
♪ 'Cause nothing matters
in this whole wide world
1464
01:41:01,023 --> 01:41:07,519
♪ When you're in love with a Jersey girl
1465
01:41:07,596 --> 01:41:11,760
♪ Sha la la la la la la
1466
01:41:13,369 --> 01:41:18,568
♪ Sha la la la la la la la la la la la
1467
01:41:19,408 --> 01:41:24,675
♪ Sha la la la la la la la
1468
01:41:24,747 --> 01:41:30,617
♪ Sha la la
Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
121349
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