All language subtitles for Henry Danger s02e09 Christmas Danger.eg

[ music ]

[ crowd chatter ]

>> Good morning.

[ crowd chatter ]

>> Well, it's December 24th

and that means,

welcome to Captain Man's

third annual

Christmas Breakfast.

Thank you.

Oh, that's nice. Oh.

You know, it's really great to--

>> Hey, shut up and feed us!

>> Just a moment, sir.

>> I'm a woman!

>> Sorry, ma'am.

And now I present

your handsome host,

the guy who paid

for all of this,

Swellview's

most important citizen...

Captain Man.

>> Thank you.

Yes. Yes.

I know, I know.

>> All right,

everybody get up here

and taste the Christmas.

>> Here, Kid, put this on.

>> Ew. I don't want

to wear a hair net.

>> You have to wear one.

You're serving food.

It's city law.

>> All right.

But I'm doing this begrudgingly.

Hey, how come

you're not wearing a hair net?

>> [ chuckles ] Lots of reasons.

First, I'm Captain Man.

Second, I'm very handsome

and I do not wear hair nets.

>> Hey, are these reindeer eggs

locally sourced?

>> I, I don't know.

>> Well, I won't eat eggs

unless they're locally sourced.

>> Okay, good for you.

>> Hey, why aren't you wearing

a hair net?

>> Lots of reasons. One...

>> Shut up.

>> You know, I'm guessing

you don't get invited

to a lot of parties.

>> Hey, Captain Man,

Captain Man.

>> Ah, yes, Vice Mayor Willard.

>> Yeah, hi.

There's a reporter here

from KLVY News,

she wants to do

an interview with you.

>> Oh, it's not Evelyn Hall,

is it?

>> Yeah, I believe it is.

>> Ah, crud. Hey, listen--

>> I'll bring her over.

>> No, no, please don't, arg.

>> What's the problem?

>> I took this reporter

out on a date last week

and I told her I'd text her

the next day and I didn't.

>> And here's Captain Man.

>> Yeah, I see him.

>> Vice mayor. Vice mayor.

>> Look, I was going

to text you.

>> But you didn't.

>> Evelyn...

>> I'm standing here

inside City Hall

with Kid Danger.

>> And Captain Man.

>> Kid Danger,

Christmas question,

if you went on a date

with a girl...

>> Oh, here it comes.

>> And you promised to text

the girl the next day,

what would you do?

>> Can you not do this?

>> I, I would text the girl.

>> All right, all right, Evelyn,
I'm texting you, all right? I'm texting you right now.

I'm texting you, all right?
I'm texting you right now. And send.

I'm texting you right now.
And send. Oh, wait,

And send.
Oh, wait, that's a different Evelyn.

Oh, wait,
that's a different Evelyn. >> Are you serious?

Come on, let's just
go serve the food. >> Yeah, all right.

go serve the food.
>> Yeah, all right. >> All right.

>> Yeah, all right.
>> All right. >> There he is, right there.

>> All right.
>> There he is, right there. >> Wait, you mean Captain Man?

>> There he is, right there.
>> Wait, you mean Captain Man? >> That's right. Look at him.

>> Wait, you mean Captain Man?
>> That's right. Look at him. >> Oh, come on.

>> That's right. Look at him.
>> Oh, come on. >> Don't give me that.

>> Oh, come on.
>> Don't give me that. A law is a law is a law.

>> Don't give me that.
A law is a law is a law. Do your duty.

A law is a law is a law.
Do your duty. You don't have

Do your duty.
You don't have to tell me about my duty.

You don't have
to tell me about my duty. Are you refusing

to tell me about my duty.
Are you refusing to do your duty?

Are you refusing
to do your duty? >> Listen, sir.

to do your duty?
>> Listen, sir. >> I'm a woman.

>> Listen, sir.
>> I'm a woman. >> I'm sorry.

>> I'm a woman.
>> I'm sorry. >> Hello, ma'am.

>> I'm sorry.
>> Hello, ma'am. Would you like some grits?

>> Hello, ma'am.
Would you like some grits? They're freshly stirred.

Would you like some grits?
They're freshly stirred. >> Everyone!

They're freshly stirred.
>> Everyone! Everyone, may I have

>> Everyone!
Everyone, may I have your attention?

Everyone, may I have
your attention? As Swellview's Chief of Police,

your attention?
As Swellview's Chief of Police, I came here this morning

As Swellview's Chief of Police,
I came here this morning to thank Captain Man

I came here this morning
to thank Captain Man and Kid Danger

to thank Captain Man
and Kid Danger for this wonderful

and Kid Danger
for this wonderful Christmas breakfast.

Which makes what I must do now
very difficult.

>> What's...
what's going on? >> I'm very sorry Captain Man,

what's going on?
>> I'm very sorry Captain Man, but you're under arrest.

>> I'm very sorry Captain Man,
but you're under arrest. [ crowd gasping ]

>> Under arrest?
>> Why am I being arrested? >> Because it's illegal

>> Why am I being arrested?
>> Because it's illegal for you to serve food

>> Because it's illegal
for you to serve food to the public

for you to serve food
to the public without wearing a hair net.

to the public
without wearing a hair net. >> I told you

without wearing a hair net.
>> I told you to put on a hair net.

>> I told you
to put on a hair net. >> Will you be qu--

to put on a hair net.
>> Will you be qu-- You're seriously arresting me

>> Will you be qu--
You're seriously arresting me for not wearing a hair net?

You're seriously arresting me
for not wearing a hair net? >> I have to.

for not wearing a hair net?
>> I have to. It's a class three misdemeanor.

>> I have to.
It's a class three misdemeanor. >> Seriously?

It's a class three misdemeanor.
>> Seriously? Seriously?

>> Seriously?
Seriously? Seriously?

Seriously?
Seriously? Seriously?

>> Seriously?
>> Please stop saying seriously.

>> It all just kind of happened.
>> My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

>> My dad was
an irresponsible scientist. >> I wanted an after-school job.

an irresponsible scientist.
>> I wanted an after-school job. >> And by accident,

>> I wanted an after-school job.
>> And by accident, he made me indestructible.

>> And by accident,
he made me indestructible. Ah!

he made me indestructible.
Ah! >> I went into this crazy store

Ah!
>> I went into this crazy store and met

>> I went into this crazy store
and met a pretty interesting guy.

and met
a pretty interesting guy. >> I'm going to blow your mind.

a pretty interesting guy.
>> I'm going to blow your mind. Now I protect

>> I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.

Now I protect
the good citizens of Swellview. who call me...

the good citizens of Swellview.
who call me... >> He turned out to be...

who call me...
>> He turned out to be... >> You know the name.

>> He turned out to be...
>> You know the name. >> Captain Man!

>> You know the name.
>> Captain Man! >> That's right, Henry.

>> Captain Man!
>> That's right, Henry. In time, I realized that

>> That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that being a superhero

In time, I realized that
being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.

being a superhero
is a lot to handle alone. >> He wanted some help.

is a lot to handle alone.
>> He wanted some help. >> I needed a sidekick.

>> He wanted some help.
>> I needed a sidekick. >> I, Henry Hart...

>> I needed a sidekick.
>> I, Henry Hart... >> Pledge to never ever ever

>> I, Henry Hart...
>> Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone...

>> Pledge to never ever ever
tell anyone... >> That I'm Captain Man's

tell anyone...
>> That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.

>> That I'm Captain Man's
secret sidekick. >> It is done.

secret sidekick.
>> It is done. >> Now we blow bubbles.

>> It is done.
>> Now we blow bubbles. >> And fight crime.

>> Now we blow bubbles.
>> And fight crime. >> Feels good.

>> Call it.

>> Up the tube!

Oh, my boot.

>> Ha!

>> Well, why didn't you

make him wear a hair net?

>> I tried.

You know how Ray is

about his Captain Man hair.

>> Well, we can't let Ray

spend Christmas in jail

all alone.

>> How are we supposed

to get him out?

>> I don't know.

[ sighs ]

You can't put

two gold balls together.

>> Huh?

>> You got to go, gold ball,

red ball, gold ball, red ball.

>> I can totally
put two gold balls together. >> No, you can't.

put two gold balls together.
>> No, you can't. >> Why not?

>> No, you can't.
>> Why not? What is this, the 1950s?

>> Why not?
What is this, the 1950s? >> Well, guys, I had to look

What is this, the 1950s?
>> Well, guys, I had to look for two hours,

>> Well, guys, I had to look
for two hours, but check out what Daddy

for two hours,
but check out what Daddy found in the attic.

but check out what Daddy
found in the attic. >> Oh, honey, please, no, no.

found in the attic.
>> Oh, honey, please, no, no. >> Oh my gosh, Dad,

>> Oh, honey, please, no, no.
>> Oh my gosh, Dad, are you serious?

>> Oh my gosh, Dad,
are you serious? >> Nunh-uh, stop that.

are you serious?
>> Nunh-uh, stop that. My parents paid a lot of money

>> Nunh-uh, stop that.
My parents paid a lot of money for these handbells

My parents paid a lot of money
for these handbells and the least we can do

for these handbells
and the least we can do is play them as a family

and the least we can do
is play them as a family once a year on Christmas.

is play them as a family
once a year on Christmas. >> Mom?

once a year on Christmas.
>> Mom? >> Honey, I know you

>> Mom?
>> Honey, I know you like the handbells,

>> Honey, I know you
like the handbells, but the rest of us don't--

like the handbells,
but the rest of us don't-- >> Look, Dad, we played

but the rest of us don't--
>> Look, Dad, we played the bells last year.

>> Look, Dad, we played
the bells last year. Can't we skip one year

the bells last year.
Can't we skip one year and not--

Can't we skip one year
and not-- >> Hey.

and not--
>> Hey. Hey, you have to listen

>> Hey.
Hey, you have to listen to what we're all saying.

Hey, you have to listen
to what we're all saying. If we don't want

to what we're all saying.
If we don't want to play the bells,

If we don't want
to play the bells, you can't just--

to play the bells,
you can't just-- All right.

you can't just--
All right. >> Okay. Okay. I am really mad.

All right.
>> Okay. Okay. I am really mad. >> Dude, I told you,

>> Okay. Okay. I am really mad.
>> Dude, I told you, the Santa Claus at the mall

>> Dude, I told you,
the Santa Claus at the mall isn't going to let a kid

the Santa Claus at the mall
isn't going to let a kid your size sit on his lap.

isn't going to let a kid
your size sit on his lap. >> I know.

your size sit on his lap.
>> I know. I've accepted that.

>> I know.
I've accepted that. >> Then what are you

I've accepted that.
>> Then what are you mad about now?

>> Then what are you
mad about now? >> Has no one here heard

mad about now?
>> Has no one here heard that Captain Man is in jail?

>> Has no one here heard
that Captain Man is in jail? >> Yeah, we heard.

that Captain Man is in jail?
>> Yeah, we heard. >> Well, do you guys know why

>> Yeah, we heard.
>> Well, do you guys know why Captain Man is in jail?

>> Well, do you guys know why
Captain Man is in jail? >> Yeah, it's because

Captain Man is in jail?
>> Yeah, it's because of some stupid hair net law.

>> Yeah, it's because
of some stupid hair net law. >> Yeah, well you want to hear

of some stupid hair net law.
>> Yeah, well you want to hear some other stupid laws

>> Yeah, well you want to hear
some other stupid laws we have here in Swellview?

some other stupid laws
we have here in Swellview? Look at these.

we have here in Swellview?
Look at these. >> What are those books?

Look at these.
>> What are those books? >> It's the Swellview

>> What are those books?
>> It's the Swellview Book of Laws and Ordinances.

>> It's the Swellview
Book of Laws and Ordinances. >> I want to play the handbells.

Book of Laws and Ordinances.
>> I want to play the handbells. >> Later.

>> I want to play the handbells.
>> Later. >> Later.

>> Later.
>> Later. It's always later.

>> Later.
It's always later. >> Take a look at this.

It's always later.
>> Take a look at this. Page 34,

>> Take a look at this.
Page 34, "It is illegal to take a photo

Page 34,
"It is illegal to take a photo of a rabbit without a permit."

"It is illegal to take a photo
of a rabbit without a permit." How stupid is that?

>> Okay, everyone, now,
read the laws I've highlighted in your books.

read the laws I've highlighted
in your books. >> "Ice cream on a cone

in your books.
>> "Ice cream on a cone may only be licked.

>> "Ice cream on a cone
may only be licked. It is illegal

may only be licked.
It is illegal to bite ice cream on a cone."

>> Charlotte.
>> Okay. "It is against the law

>> Okay.
"It is against the law to wear more than one hat

"It is against the law
to wear more than one hat at the same time."

to wear more than one hat
at the same time." [ bell rings ]

>> Piper.
>> "Dads who play handbells must be destroyed."

>> "Dads who play handbells
must be destroyed." >> It doesn't say that.

must be destroyed."
>> It doesn't say that. >> Well, it should.

>> It doesn't say that.
>> Well, it should. >> Agreed.

>> Well, it should.
>> Agreed. >> Yeah, it should.

>> Well, I say it's wrong
that Captain Man is in jail. And to make my point,

that Captain Man is in jail.
And to make my point, I'm going down to City Hall

And to make my point,
I'm going down to City Hall and I'm going to break

I'm going down to City Hall
and I'm going to break some more of these dumb laws.

and I'm going to break
some more of these dumb laws. >> Question.

some more of these dumb laws.
>> Question. >> Yeah?

>> Question.
>> Yeah? >> Why?

>> Yeah?
>> Why? >> Because they won't dare

>> Why?
>> Because they won't dare put a kid in jail on Christmas.

>> Because they won't dare
put a kid in jail on Christmas. And then they'll have

put a kid in jail on Christmas.
And then they'll have to let Captain Man out, too.

And then they'll have
to let Captain Man out, too. Now, I'm going down there

to let Captain Man out, too.
Now, I'm going down there and nobody is going to stop me.

>> There's the door.

>> Now can we play
the handbells? >> Charlotte, we better

the handbells?
>> Charlotte, we better make sure Jasper's okay.

>> Charlotte, we better
make sure Jasper's okay. >> Yeah, let's hurry.

make sure Jasper's okay.
>> Yeah, let's hurry. >> I have to go look

>> Yeah, let's hurry.
>> I have to go look at a flower.

>> I have to go look
at a flower. >> These pants itch.

at a flower.
>> These pants itch. >> Fine.

>> Let go of me, man.
I didn't do nothing. >> Tell it to the judge.

I didn't do nothing.
>> Tell it to the judge. >> Get off of me.

>> Tell it to the judge.
>> Get off of me. >> Phone call later.

>> Get off of me.
>> Phone call later. >> I hate you.

>> Phone call later.
>> I hate you. >> Get in there.

>> I hate you.
>> Get in there. >> Aah!

>> Get in there.
>> Aah! Why you got to hassle me, man?

Captain Man?
What are you in here for? >> Well, see, I got arrested

What are you in here for?
>> Well, see, I got arrested for serving food to the hungry

>> Well, see, I got arrested
for serving food to the hungry while not wearing a hair net.

for serving food to the hungry
while not wearing a hair net. >> Good.

while not wearing a hair net.
>> Good. >> What do you mean "good?"

>> Good.
>> What do you mean "good?" >> I'm sick of people like you.

>> What do you mean "good?"
>> I'm sick of people like you. You hair heads.

>> I'm sick of people like you.
You hair heads. You think that rules

You hair heads.
You think that rules don't apply to you.

You think that rules
don't apply to you. Well, guess what?

don't apply to you.
Well, guess what? Not everyone has hair.

Well, guess what?
Not everyone has hair. >> Hey.

Not everyone has hair.
>> Hey. >> What?

>> Hey.
>> What? >> You're hurting, aren't you?

>> Yeah, I'm hurting.
>> Come here. It's okay.

>> Come here.
It's okay. It's all right.

It's okay.
It's all right. It's not your fault.

It's all right.
It's not your fault. >> It's not my fault.

It's not your fault.
>> It's not my fault. >> That's it, let it all out.

>> Merry Christmas!
>> Who is that boy? What's going on?

>> Who is that boy?
What's going on? >> Go get them, Jasper.

What's going on?
>> Go get them, Jasper. >> You got this.

>> Go get them, Jasper.
>> You got this. >> My name is Jasper Dunlop.

>> You got this.
>> My name is Jasper Dunlop. And I'm wearing two hats.

>> My name is Jasper Dunlop.
And I'm wearing two hats. I'm going to eat

And I'm wearing two hats.
I'm going to eat this ice cream cone thusly.

And now without a permit,
I'm going to take photos of this rabbit.

I'm going to take photos
of this rabbit. [ camera clicking ]

of this rabbit.
[ camera clicking ] Ooh, yeah, you're an animal.

[ camera clicking ]
Ooh, yeah, you're an animal. Show me those ears.

>> Do you know
what's wrong with him? >> Yeah.

what's wrong with him?
>> Yeah. We're all mad that Captain Man

>> Yeah.
We're all mad that Captain Man got arrested

We're all mad that Captain Man
got arrested for breaking some stupid law

got arrested
for breaking some stupid law about hair nets.

for breaking some stupid law
about hair nets. >> So he's protesting

about hair nets.
>> So he's protesting by breaking more stupid laws.

>> So he's protesting
by breaking more stupid laws. >> Oh.

>> What are you doing?
>> You're under arrest. >> What? But I'm just a child.

>> You're under arrest.
>> What? But I'm just a child. >> Doesn't matter.

>> What? But I'm just a child.
>> Doesn't matter. >> But I was only doing this

>> Doesn't matter.
>> But I was only doing this to show how wrong it was

>> But I was only doing this
to show how wrong it was to arrest Captain Man.

to show how wrong it was
to arrest Captain Man. >> Well, now you're going to be

to arrest Captain Man.
>> Well, now you're going to be in jail with Captain Man.

>> Well, now you're going to be
in jail with Captain Man. >> But I didn't even...

in jail with Captain Man.
>> But I didn't even... I am?

>> But I didn't even...
I am? >> Come on.

I am?
>> Come on. >> [ laughs ]

>> Come on.
>> [ laughs ] I'm going to hang out

>> [ laughs ]
I'm going to hang out with Captain Man.

>> Poor Ray.
>> What do you mean? >> It's bad enough he's spending

>> What do you mean?
>> It's bad enough he's spending Christmas Eve in jail,

>> It's bad enough he's spending
Christmas Eve in jail, now Jasper's going to be

Christmas Eve in jail,
now Jasper's going to be in there bugging him

now Jasper's going to be
in there bugging him all day and night.

in there bugging him
all day and night. >> Oh yeah.

all day and night.
>> Oh yeah. Poor Ray.

>> Oh yeah.
Poor Ray. >> [ sighs ]

Poor Ray.
>> [ sighs ] Well, I might as well

>> [ sighs ]
Well, I might as well keep him company.

Well, I might as well
keep him company. >> What do you mean?

keep him company.
>> What do you mean? >> Hold this.

Oh, look at me, I'm a criminal.
I'm wearing two hats simultaneously.

I'm wearing two hats
simultaneously. Oh, look what I'm going

simultaneously.
Oh, look what I'm going to do to this ice cream cone.

Oh, look what I'm going
to do to this ice cream cone. Mm.

Yo, bunny, smile.
Mm, ooh, mm, ooh, ooh. >> All right,

Mm, ooh, mm, ooh, ooh.
>> All right, you two are under arrest.

>> All right,
you two are under arrest. >> Oh no.

you two are under arrest.
>> Oh no. >> Wait, why am I under arrest?

>> Oh no.
>> Wait, why am I under arrest? >> Because you watched him

>> Wait, why am I under arrest?
>> Because you watched him wear double hats

>> Because you watched him
wear double hats and bite that ice cream

wear double hats
and bite that ice cream and you did nothing.

and bite that ice cream
and you did nothing. >> Aw.

>> And my barber...
my barber used to be my best friend.

my barber used to be
my best friend. But since my hair fell out,

my best friend.
But since my hair fell out, he's all, like,

But since my hair fell out,
he's all, like, "Get out of my barber shop.

he's all, like,
"Get out of my barber shop. "You ain't got nothing

"Get out of my barber shop.
"You ain't got nothing for me to do."

"You ain't got nothing
for me to do." >> Yeah, barbers.

for me to do."
>> Yeah, barbers. >> Which cell? Where is he?

Captain Man.
>> What have I done? What makes you hate me?

>> Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
>> What? >> You're going to put me

>> What?
>> You're going to put me in the same jail cell

>> You're going to put me
in the same jail cell with a bunch of guys?

in the same jail cell
with a bunch of guys? >> Look, it's Christmas.

with a bunch of guys?
>> Look, it's Christmas. The women's prison is full.

>> Look, it's Christmas.
The women's prison is full. >> So, this cell's all we got.

>> I don't believe this.
>> Well, we've explained it as best we can.

>> Well, we've explained it
as best we can. >> So, you better just

as best we can.
>> So, you better just suspend your disbelief.

>> Do you remember me?
I'm Jasper. We've met several times.

I'm Jasper.
We've met several times. >> Yes, I remember you.

We've met several times.
>> Yes, I remember you. Hi, hey, why don't you talk

>> Yes, I remember you.
Hi, hey, why don't you talk to my new friend Harold?

Hi, hey, why don't you talk
to my new friend Harold? >> No, I'm bald.

to my new friend Harold?
>> No, I'm bald. Don't look at me.

>> No, I'm bald.
Don't look at me. [ crying ]

Don't look at me.
[ crying ] >> Okay, so, what's the plan?

[ crying ]
>> Okay, so, what's the plan? >> What do you mean?

>> Okay, so, what's the plan?
>> What do you mean? >> The plan, what's the plan?

>> What do you mean?
>> The plan, what's the plan? >> The plan for what?

>> The plan, what's the plan?
>> The plan for what? >> The plan

>> The plan for what?
>> The plan to get me out of here.

>> The plan
to get me out of here. >> [ both ] Oh.

to get me out of here.
>> [ both ] Oh. >> Okay, I see.

>> [ both ] Oh.
>> Okay, I see. >> We don't have one.

>> Okay, I see.
>> We don't have one. >> You don't have a plan?

>> We don't have one.
>> You don't have a plan? >> No. I mean, I just figured

>> You don't have a plan?
>> No. I mean, I just figured you wouldn't want to be

>> No. I mean, I just figured
you wouldn't want to be locked up alone with Jasper,

you wouldn't want to be
locked up alone with Jasper, so I got arrested

locked up alone with Jasper,
so I got arrested to keep you company.

so I got arrested
to keep you company. >> I'm just a victim

to keep you company.
>> I'm just a victim of circumstance.

>> I'm just a victim
of circumstance. >> Great.

of circumstance.
>> Great. So I get to spend Christmas

>> Great.
So I get to spend Christmas in a jail cell.

So I get to spend Christmas
in a jail cell. >> Well, at least

in a jail cell.
>> Well, at least we're here with you.

>> Well, at least
we're here with you. >> Yeah, and I'm sure

we're here with you.
>> Yeah, and I'm sure our parents will try

>> Yeah, and I'm sure
our parents will try to get us out.

our parents will try
to get us out. >> It's okay.

to get us out.
>> It's okay. It's not your fault.

>> It's okay.
It's not your fault. You didn't choose

It's not your fault.
You didn't choose to be this way.

[ doorbell rings ]
>> Coming.

Oh. Hi, officer...
>> Doobin. Can I come in?

>> Doobin.
Can I come in? >> Sure.

Can I come in?
>> Sure. Is... is there a problem?

>> Sure.
Is... is there a problem? >> Yeah.

Is... is there a problem?
>> Yeah. Who put two gold balls

>> Yeah.
Who put two gold balls right next to each other

Who put two gold balls
right next to each other like that?

right next to each other
like that? >> Oh, I was just going

like that?
>> Oh, I was just going to change those.

>> Oh, I was just going
to change those. >> Before you do that,

to change those.
>> Before you do that, I'm here to let you know

>> Before you do that,
I'm here to let you know that your kid's in jail.

I'm here to let you know
that your kid's in jail. >> My what?

that your kid's in jail.
>> My what? Honey, come down here quick!

>> My what?
Honey, come down here quick! >> Is everything all right?

Honey, come down here quick!
>> Is everything all right? Why did you scream?

>> Is everything all right?
Why did you scream? Oh geez, is that a cop?

Why did you scream?
Oh geez, is that a cop? That's a cop.

Oh geez, is that a cop?
That's a cop. >> Yeah, I'm Officer Doobin.

That's a cop.
>> Yeah, I'm Officer Doobin. I just put your kid in jail.

>> Yeah, I'm Officer Doobin.
I just put your kid in jail. >> Aah!

I just put your kid in jail.
>> Aah! >> Well, we knew

>> Aah!
>> Well, we knew this day would come.

>> Well, we knew
this day would come. >> Well, I know, but I thought

this day would come.
>> Well, I know, but I thought Piper would be at least 16

>> Well, I know, but I thought
Piper would be at least 16 before she went to jail.

Piper would be at least 16
before she went to jail. >> What'd she do?

before she went to jail.
>> What'd she do? >> I'm sorry?

>> What'd she do?
>> I'm sorry? >> I'm back from the mall.

>> I'm sorry?
>> I'm back from the mall. >> Piper?

>> I'm back from the mall.
>> Piper? >> Hey.

>> Piper?
>> Hey. Dad, I maxed out

>> Hey.
Dad, I maxed out all three of your credit cards.

Dad, I maxed out
all three of your credit cards. What up with the cop?

all three of your credit cards.
What up with the cop? >> You said she was in jail.

What up with the cop?
>> You said she was in jail. >> No, we arrested your son.

>> You said she was in jail.
>> No, we arrested your son. >> Henry got arrested?

>> No, we arrested your son.
>> Henry got arrested? >> That's right.

>> Henry got arrested?
>> That's right. He wore two hats simultaneously,

>> That's right.
He wore two hats simultaneously, bit some ice cream,

He wore two hats simultaneously,
bit some ice cream, and took photos of a bunny

bit some ice cream,
and took photos of a bunny without a permit.

and took photos of a bunny
without a permit. >> Okay, someone's got to go

without a permit.
>> Okay, someone's got to go through Swellview's dumb laws

>> Okay, someone's got to go
through Swellview's dumb laws and get rid of all

through Swellview's dumb laws
and get rid of all those ridiculous ones.

and get rid of all
those ridiculous ones. >> Yeah.

those ridiculous ones.
>> Yeah. Well, Merry Christmas.

>> Yeah.
Well, Merry Christmas. >> Wait a second.

Well, Merry Christmas.
>> Wait a second. >> You take me to my son's

>> Wait a second.
>> You take me to my son's jail cell right now.

>> You take me to my son's
jail cell right now. >> I can't do that.

jail cell right now.
>> I can't do that. You'll have to talk

>> I can't do that.
You'll have to talk to the judge.

You'll have to talk
to the judge. He'll be back in January.

to the judge.
He'll be back in January. >> January?

He'll be back in January.
>> January? That's multiple days from now.

>> January?
That's multiple days from now. >> Hey, Mom, Dad.

>> Officer?
Quick question. >> What?

Quick question.
>> What? Hey, give me that walkie-talkie.

>> What?
Hey, give me that walkie-talkie. >> No.

Hey, give me that walkie-talkie.
>> No. Are you insane?

>> No.
Are you insane? >> She's not. But I am.

>> That tears it.
You're both under arrest. Let's go.

>> Hey, Darla, guess what?
No, my parents just got arrested.

No, my parents
just got arrested. Yeah.

just got arrested.
Yeah. So, Christmas party

Yeah.
So, Christmas party at my house tonight?

>> I figured I'd sit here.
>> Okay. I can't believe you're in jail.

>> Okay.
I can't believe you're in jail. >> You're in jail.

I can't believe you're in jail.
>> You're in jail. >> Well, what kind of mother

>> You're in jail.
>> Well, what kind of mother would I be if I let my child

>> Well, what kind of mother
would I be if I let my child sit in jail without his mother?

would I be if I let my child
sit in jail without his mother? >> You know, I think you look

sit in jail without his mother?
>> You know, I think you look way too young

>> You know, I think you look
way too young to be anyone's mother.

way too young
to be anyone's mother. >> Oh, stop.

to be anyone's mother.
>> Oh, stop. >> Yeah. Stop.

>> I can't believe I'm a girl
spending Christmas in a man's jail.

spending Christmas
in a man's jail. And I don't see

in a man's jail.
And I don't see any tissues available.

>> Look, the important thing
is that it's Christmas and we're all together.

is that it's Christmas
and we're all together. >> We're not all together.

and we're all together.
>> We're not all together. >> Yeah, I'm worried

>> We're not all together.
>> Yeah, I'm worried about your father.

>> Yeah, I'm worried
about your father. >> Well, I mean,

about your father.
>> Well, I mean, if they arrested him with you,

>> Well, I mean,
if they arrested him with you, how come they didn't

if they arrested him with you,
how come they didn't put him in here?

how come they didn't
put him in here? >> Because apparently pulling

put him in here?
>> Because apparently pulling a police officer's pants down

>> Because apparently pulling
a police officer's pants down is a class one misdemeanor.

a police officer's pants down
is a class one misdemeanor. >> Uh-oh.

is a class one misdemeanor.
>> Uh-oh. >> What?

>> Uh-oh.
>> What? >> That means

>> What?
>> That means they probably locked him up

>> That means
they probably locked him up with the extra

they probably locked him up
with the extra dangerous criminals.

>> What's your story?
>> Me? [ knuckles crack ]

>> Me?
[ knuckles crack ] I'm a project manager.

[ knuckles crack ]
I'm a project manager. I manage projects.

>> I mean, what are you in for?
>> I pants'd a policeman.

I want to play the handbells.
>> Excuse me. Are there any more spoons

>> Excuse me.
Are there any more spoons in here?

Hey, fellas. Come here.

>> This does not feel
like Christmas. >> Nope.

like Christmas.
>> Nope. >> Not at all.

>> Nope.
>> Not at all. >> Not even close.

>> Not at all.
>> Not even close. >> This is the opposite

>> Not even close.
>> This is the opposite of Christmas.

>> This is the opposite
of Christmas. [ spoons clanging ]

>> Am I imagining something
or... is that...

or...
is that... >> Jingle Bells.

is that...
>> Jingle Bells. >> In jail?

>> Jingle Bells.
>> In jail? >> But where could it be

>> In jail?
>> But where could it be coming from?

? Jingle bells ?
? Jingle bells ? ? Jingle all the way ?

? Jingle bells ?
? Jingle all the way ? ? Oh what fun it is to ride ?

? Jingle all the way ?
? Oh what fun it is to ride ? ? In a one-horse open sleigh ?

? Oh what fun it is to ride ?
? In a one-horse open sleigh ? >> Hey.

? In a one-horse open sleigh ?
>> Hey. ? Jingle bells ?

>> Hey.
? Jingle bells ? ? Jingle bells ?

? Jingle bells ?
? Jingle bells ? ? Jingle all the way ?

? Jingle bells ?
? Jingle all the way ? ? Oh what fun it is to ride ?

? Jingle all the way ?
? Oh what fun it is to ride ? ? In a one-horse open sleigh ?

? Oh what fun it is to ride ?
? In a one-horse open sleigh ? ? Dashing through the snow ?

? In a one-horse open sleigh ?
? Dashing through the snow ? ? In a one-horse open sleigh ?

? Dashing through the snow ?
? In a one-horse open sleigh ? ? O'er the fields we go ?

? In a one-horse open sleigh ?
? O'er the fields we go ? ? Laughing all the way ?

? O'er the fields we go ?
? Laughing all the way ? ? Ha, ha, ha ?

>> [ sighs ]
Merry Christmas, ladies.

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