Original subtitles

[ MUSIC ]

>> NO, NO.

MOVE ALL THOSE THINGS

TO THE SIDE.

>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

>> HEY, YOU GUYS.

>> HEY.

>> YOU ARE LATE FOR WORK.

>> IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

THERE WAS A LI

AT THE CORN DOGGERY.

>> YOU GOT US CORN DOGS?

>> YEAH, DUDE.

>> THIS IS NOT CORN DOG TIME.

OKAY, GIVE ME A CORN DOG.

>> SO, WHAT IS ALL THIS?

>> THAT IS A BIG ROCK.

>> FROM OUTER SPACE.

>> NO, I MEAN,

WHAT'S THIS CRANE FOR?

>> TO MOVE THE ROCK.

IT WEIGHS OVER 7,000 POUNDS.

>> WOW.

CAN I BORROW THIS CRANE

TO MOVE MY BIG UNCLE ROSCO?

BECAUSE HE'S BEEN

ON OUR COUCH SINCE CHRISTMAS.

>> DARN IT.

WHICH ONE OF THESE CONTROLS

MAKES THE--

[ CRASHING THROUGH FLOORS ]

>> YOU DROPPED THE ROCK.

>> WOW, THAT THING IS GOING

TO FALL ALL THE WAY DOWN

TO THE MAN CAVE.

>> RAY.

[ BEEPING ]

>> HEY, I CAN'T TALK.

I'M HULA-SIZING WITH LAYLANI.

>> RAY.

THERE'S A 7,000-POUND SPACE ROCK

ON ITS WAY DOWN THERE.

>> THERE'S A WHAT

ON ITS WAY DOWN WHERE?

[ SCREAMS ]

>> RAY?

>> RAY?

YOU THERE?

>> WHAT HAPPENED?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

RAY, A VERY HEAVY ROCK IS ABOUT

TO CRASH THROUGH YOUR CEILING.

>> YEAH.

THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP.

>> IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.

>> MY DAD WAS

AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.

>> I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.

>> AND BY ACCIDENT,

HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.

AH!

>> I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE

AND MET

A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.

>> I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.

NOW I PROTECT

THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.

WHO CALL ME...

>> HE TURNED OUT TO BE...

>> YOU KNOW THE NAME.

>> CAPTAIN MAN.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.

IN TIME, I REALIZED THAT

BEING A SUPERHERO

IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.

>> HE WANTED SOME HELP.

>> I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.

>> I, HENRY HART...

>> PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER

TELL ANYONE...

>> THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S

SECRET SIDEKICK.

>> IT IS DONE.

>> NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.

>> AND FIGHT CRIME.

>> FEELS GOOD.

>> CALL IT.

>> UP THE TUBE!

OH, MY BOOT.

>> AH!

>> HENRY!

>> WHAT, PIPER?

>> MAKE JASPER LEAVE.

>> NO.

I TOLD HIM HE COULD USE MY ROOM.

>> BUT HE'S DOING

HIS STUPID BUCKET PODCAST.

>> SO?

>> HE'S SUCKING UP

ALL OUR BANDWIDTH.

>> HE'LL BE DONE SOON.

>> BUT I'M TRYING TO DOWNLOAD

THE NEW GINGER FOX MUSIC VIDEO

AND IT'S TAKING FOREVER.

>> LOOK, I TOLD JASPER

HE COULD DO HIS PODCAST

FROM MY ROOM,

AND THAT'S HOW IT IS.

>> WELL, WHY CAN'T

HE DO HIS DUMB PODCAST

FROM HIS OWN DUMB HOUSE?

>> BECAUSE JASPER'S PARENTS

DON'T BELIEVE IN THE INTERNET. >> THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. >> WHY DON'T I GO

>> THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. >> WHY DON'T I GO CHECK ON JASPER?

>> WHY DON'T I GO CHECK ON JASPER? >> YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU?

>> SO, RON, I HEAR THAT YOU WENT TO BUCKET-CON IN SAN DIEGO.

THAT YOU WENT TO BUCKET-CON IN SAN DIEGO. >> YEAH. IT WAS WILD.

IN SAN DIEGO. >> YEAH. IT WAS WILD. AND I PICKED UP A LOT

>> YEAH. IT WAS WILD. AND I PICKED UP A LOT OF BUCKET KNOWLEDGE THERE.

AND I PICKED UP A LOT OF BUCKET KNOWLEDGE THERE. SO MANY GREAT PEOPLE.

OF BUCKET KNOWLEDGE THERE. SO MANY GREAT PEOPLE. >> GREAT, GREAT PEOPLE.

SO MANY GREAT PEOPLE. >> GREAT, GREAT PEOPLE. HEY, MY PAL HENRY

>> GREAT, GREAT PEOPLE. HEY, MY PAL HENRY JUST WALKED IN.

HEY, MY PAL HENRY JUST WALKED IN. MAYBE WE'LL GET HIM

JUST WALKED IN. MAYBE WE'LL GET HIM TO COME ON OUR PODCAST LATER

MAYBE WE'LL GET HIM TO COME ON OUR PODCAST LATER AND TALK BUCKETS WITH US.

TO COME ON OUR PODCAST LATER AND TALK BUCKETS WITH US. OR NOT.

AND TALK BUCKETS WITH US. OR NOT. SO, RON, I UNDERSTAND

OR NOT. SO, RON, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU LEARNED EVERYTHING

SO, RON, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU LEARNED EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT BUCKETS

THAT YOU LEARNED EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT BUCKETS FROM YOUR FATHER.

YOU KNOW ABOUT BUCKETS FROM YOUR FATHER. >> THAT IS CORRECT.

FROM YOUR FATHER. >> THAT IS CORRECT. MY DAD IS A CERTIFIED

>> THAT IS CORRECT. MY DAD IS A CERTIFIED BUCKET MASTER.

MY DAD IS A CERTIFIED BUCKET MASTER. >> RIGHT, AND I HEAR HE'S MAKING

BUCKET MASTER. >> RIGHT, AND I HEAR HE'S MAKING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT--

>> RIGHT, AND I HEAR HE'S MAKING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT-- YEAH, SURE.

A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT-- YEAH, SURE. OKAY.

YEAH, SURE. OKAY. UNTIL NEXT TIME,

OKAY. UNTIL NEXT TIME, THIS IS JASPER DUNLOP

UNTIL NEXT TIME, THIS IS JASPER DUNLOP SENDING YOU...

THIS IS JASPER DUNLOP SENDING YOU... BUCKETS OF LOVE.

SENDING YOU... BUCKETS OF LOVE. >> OH MY GOD.

BUCKETS OF LOVE. >> OH MY GOD. >> HEY, GREAT SHOW, RON.

>> OH MY GOD. >> HEY, GREAT SHOW, RON. >> AH, DANG IT.

>> HEY, GREAT SHOW, RON. >> AH, DANG IT. >> WHAT NOW?

>> AH, DANG IT. >> WHAT NOW? >> FOR ONE HOUR THEY WERE

>> WHAT NOW? >> FOR ONE HOUR THEY WERE LETTING EVERYONE DOWNLOAD

>> FOR ONE HOUR THEY WERE LETTING EVERYONE DOWNLOAD THE NEW GINGER FOX VIDEO

LETTING EVERYONE DOWNLOAD THE NEW GINGER FOX VIDEO FOR FREE.

THE NEW GINGER FOX VIDEO FOR FREE. NOW I GOT TO PAY FOR IT.

FOR FREE. NOW I GOT TO PAY FOR IT. THANKS A LOT, JASPER.

NOW I GOT TO PAY FOR IT. THANKS A LOT, JASPER. >> YOU KNOW, PIPER,

THANKS A LOT, JASPER. >> YOU KNOW, PIPER, YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM.

>> YOU KNOW, PIPER, YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. [ SCREAMING ]

YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. [ SCREAMING ] >> NO, I DON'T.

>> COME ON. COME ON. BREAK IT UP. >> YOUR SISTER'S NUTS.

BREAK IT UP. >> YOUR SISTER'S NUTS. >> YOU BETTER JUST GO.

>> YOUR SISTER'S NUTS. >> YOU BETTER JUST GO. >> ALL RIGHT. COME ON, RON.

>> YOU BETTER JUST GO. >> ALL RIGHT. COME ON, RON. >> THIS ISN'T OVER, JASPER.

>> ALL RIGHT. COME ON, RON. >> THIS ISN'T OVER, JASPER. YOU'RE GOING TO PAY

>> THIS ISN'T OVER, JASPER. YOU'RE GOING TO PAY IN THIS LIFE OR THE NEXT.

[ SCREAMING ]

>> CALM DOWN. >> NO. >> USE YOUR WORDS.

>> NO. >> USE YOUR WORDS. >> NO.

>> USE YOUR WORDS. >> NO. >> USE YOUR WORDS.

>> NO. >> USE YOUR WORDS. >> NO.

>> USE YOUR WORDS. >> NO. [ SCREAMS ]

>> RAY, WHAT'S WRONG? >> SHH. >> SHH.

>> SHH. >> SHH. >> HOW COME YOU GUYS ARE--

>> SHH. >> HOW COME YOU GUYS ARE-- >> SHH.

>> HOW COME YOU GUYS ARE-- >> SHH. >> WHY ARE YOU SHUSHING ME?

>> SHH. >> WHY ARE YOU SHUSHING ME? >> I DON'T KNOW.

>> WHY ARE YOU SHUSHING ME? >> I DON'T KNOW. THEY STARTED IT.

>> I DON'T KNOW. THEY STARTED IT. >> WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET?

THEY STARTED IT. >> WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET? >> WE HAVE A SITUATION.

>> WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET? >> WE HAVE A SITUATION. >> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> OKAY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO USE YOUR WORDS. >> LOOK AT THE SPACE ROCK.

TO HAVE TO USE YOUR WORDS. >> LOOK AT THE SPACE ROCK. >> WHAT THE JACK HAPPENED?

>> LOOK AT THE SPACE ROCK. >> WHAT THE JACK HAPPENED? >> IT HATCHED.

>> WHAT THE JACK HAPPENED? >> IT HATCHED. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT HATCHED?

>> IT HATCHED. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT HATCHED? IT'S A ROCK.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT HATCHED? IT'S A ROCK. ROCKS DON'T HATCH.

IT'S A ROCK. ROCKS DON'T HATCH. DO ROCKS HATCH

ROCKS DON'T HATCH. DO ROCKS HATCH >> NO. EGGS HATCH.

DO ROCKS HATCH >> NO. EGGS HATCH. >> SO...

>> NO. EGGS HATCH. >> SO... THE SPACE ROCK

>> SO... THE SPACE ROCK WAS REALLY A SPACE EGG?

THE SPACE ROCK WAS REALLY A SPACE EGG? >> YEAH.

WAS REALLY A SPACE EGG? >> YEAH. AND LAST NIGHT IT HATCHED

>> YEAH. AND LAST NIGHT IT HATCHED AND SOME THING

AND LAST NIGHT IT HATCHED AND SOME THING CRAWLED OUT OF IT.

AND SOME THING CRAWLED OUT OF IT. >> WELL, WHERE'D IT GO?

CRAWLED OUT OF IT. >> WELL, WHERE'D IT GO? >> WE DON'T KNOW.

>> WELL, WHERE'D IT GO? >> WE DON'T KNOW. >> BUT IT LEFT

>> WE DON'T KNOW. >> BUT IT LEFT THAT PURPLE SLIME TRAIL.

>> BUT IT LEFT THAT PURPLE SLIME TRAIL. >> SO, YOU'RE SAYING THAT

THAT PURPLE SLIME TRAIL. >> SO, YOU'RE SAYING THAT SOME CREATURE FROM OUTER SPACE

>> SO, YOU'RE SAYING THAT SOME CREATURE FROM OUTER SPACE CRAWLED OUT OF THAT EGG ROCK

SOME CREATURE FROM OUTER SPACE CRAWLED OUT OF THAT EGG ROCK AND NOW IT'S SOMEWHERE

CRAWLED OUT OF THAT EGG ROCK AND NOW IT'S SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE,

AND NOW IT'S SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS?

AROUND HERE, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS? >> THAT'S RIGHT.

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS? >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> OKAY THEN.

UP THE TUBE.

>> SO, SHE'S GONE. [ SQUEAKING ] >> I HEAR IT.

[ SQUEAKING ] >> I HEAR IT. GOOCH, TURN OFF

>> I HEAR IT. GOOCH, TURN OFF ALL NON-ESSENTIAL EQUIPMENT.

GOOCH, TURN OFF ALL NON-ESSENTIAL EQUIPMENT. >> RIGHT.

>> OH MY GOD, SOMETHING'S SQUEEZING ME. >> AND HENRY IS GONE.

SOMETHING'S SQUEEZING ME. >> AND HENRY IS GONE. >> I'M RIGHT HERE.

>> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS STUPID. WE DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID. >> EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

WE DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID. >> EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. >> YEAH, YOU'RE INDESTRUCTIBLE.

>> EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. >> YEAH, YOU'RE INDESTRUCTIBLE. NO CREATURE

>> YEAH, YOU'RE INDESTRUCTIBLE. NO CREATURE IS GOING TO HURT YOU.

NO CREATURE IS GOING TO HURT YOU. >> OH YEAH?

IS GOING TO HURT YOU. >> OH YEAH? WHAT IF IT CRAWLS UP MY LEG?

>> OH YEAH? WHAT IF IT CRAWLS UP MY LEG? I DON'T NEED SOME ALIEN THING

WHAT IF IT CRAWLS UP MY LEG? I DON'T NEED SOME ALIEN THING ALL UP IN THERE.

I DON'T NEED SOME ALIEN THING ALL UP IN THERE. >> SO, WHAT DO WE DO?

ALL UP IN THERE. >> SO, WHAT DO WE DO? >> I THINK IF WE JUST

>> SO, WHAT DO WE DO? >> I THINK IF WE JUST CALMLY SEARCH THE MAN CAVE--

>> I THINK IF WE JUST CALMLY SEARCH THE MAN CAVE-- [ SQUEAKING ]

CALMLY SEARCH THE MAN CAVE-- [ SQUEAKING ] [ SCREAMING ]

>> UP THE TUBE.

>> YEAH. YEAH, SHE'S HERE AT MY HOUSE. GOOCH WANTS TO KNOW

YEAH, SHE'S HERE AT MY HOUSE. GOOCH WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE NOT AT WORK.

GOOCH WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE NOT AT WORK. >> I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE

WHY YOU'RE NOT AT WORK. >> I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE UNTIL SOMEBODY

>> I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE UNTIL SOMEBODY CATCHES THAT CREATURE

UNTIL SOMEBODY CATCHES THAT CREATURE AND GETS RID OF IT.

CATCHES THAT CREATURE AND GETS RID OF IT. >> DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE IT?

AND GETS RID OF IT. >> DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE IT? >> YEAH, I WANT TO SEE IT.

>> DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE IT? >> YEAH, I WANT TO SEE IT. I WANT TO SEE IT DEAD.

>> YEAH, I WANT TO SEE IT. I WANT TO SEE IT DEAD. >> SHE SAYS

I WANT TO SEE IT DEAD. >> SHE SAYS SHE'S NOT COMING BACK TO WORK

>> SHE SAYS SHE'S NOT COMING BACK TO WORK UNTIL WE CATCH THE...

SHE'S NOT COMING BACK TO WORK UNTIL WE CATCH THE... YOU KNOW WHAT.

UNTIL WE CATCH THE... YOU KNOW WHAT. YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT. YEAH. WOMEN DO BE CRAZY.

YEAH. WOMEN DO BE CRAZY. >> I HEARD THAT.

WOMEN DO BE CRAZY. >> I HEARD THAT. >> HEY, I LEFT MY BACKPACK

>> I HEARD THAT. >> HEY, I LEFT MY BACKPACK DOWN IN THE...

>> HEY, I LEFT MY BACKPACK DOWN IN THE... OH, YOU DID?

DOWN IN THE... OH, YOU DID? HEY, PIPER.

OH, YOU DID? HEY, PIPER. >> WHAT?

HEY, PIPER. >> WHAT? >> A GUY I WORK WITH

>> WHAT? >> A GUY I WORK WITH SAYS HE DROPPED

>> A GUY I WORK WITH SAYS HE DROPPED MY BACKPACK OFF HERE.

SAYS HE DROPPED MY BACKPACK OFF HERE. >> YEAH. MOM HAS IT.

MY BACKPACK OFF HERE. >> YEAH. MOM HAS IT. STOP BOTHERING ME.

>> YEAH. MOM HAS IT. STOP BOTHERING ME. >> YEAH, I GOT IT, THANKS.

STOP BOTHERING ME. >> YEAH, I GOT IT, THANKS. OKAY, LATER.

>> YEAH, I GOT IT, THANKS. OKAY, LATER. SO, DID YOU--

OKAY, LATER. SO, DID YOU-- DID YOU FIND OUT

SO, DID YOU-- DID YOU FIND OUT ANYTHING ABOUT THE SPACE ROCK

DID YOU FIND OUT ANYTHING ABOUT THE SPACE ROCK OR EGG OR WHATEVER?

ANYTHING ABOUT THE SPACE ROCK OR EGG OR WHATEVER? >> YEAH, AND I'M WORRIED.

OR EGG OR WHATEVER? >> YEAH, AND I'M WORRIED. >> ABOUT?

>> YEAH, AND I'M WORRIED. >> ABOUT? >> WHAT IF THAT WAS JUST

>> ABOUT? >> WHAT IF THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST ALIEN SPACE ROCK EGG?

>> WHAT IF THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST ALIEN SPACE ROCK EGG? WHAT IF MORE COME

THE FIRST ALIEN SPACE ROCK EGG? WHAT IF MORE COME AND THEN THE ALIENS

WHAT IF MORE COME AND THEN THE ALIENS TAKE OVER THE EARTH

AND THEN THE ALIENS TAKE OVER THE EARTH AND USE US HUMANS AS FOOD?

TAKE OVER THE EARTH AND USE US HUMANS AS FOOD? >> THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

AND USE US HUMANS AS FOOD? >> THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. >> WHY NOT?

>> THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. >> WHY NOT? >> BECAUSE IF THEY'RE ALIENS

>> WHY NOT? >> BECAUSE IF THEY'RE ALIENS WHO TRAVELED HERE,

>> BECAUSE IF THEY'RE ALIENS WHO TRAVELED HERE, THAT MEANS THEY'D HAVE

WHO TRAVELED HERE, THAT MEANS THEY'D HAVE TO BE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT.

THAT MEANS THEY'D HAVE TO BE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT. AND HIGHLY INTELLIGENT CREATURES

TO BE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT. AND HIGHLY INTELLIGENT CREATURES WOULDN'T EAT

AND HIGHLY INTELLIGENT CREATURES WOULDN'T EAT OTHER LIVING CREATURES.

>> WOULDN'T THEY?

>> OH MY GOD.

>> OH YEAH, OH YEAH. I AM THE GOLDEN BOY. >> SHOWTIME.

>> WHAT ARE YOU ALL PUMPED UP ABOUT? >> YEAH, JASPER, WHAT'S UP?

ALL PUMPED UP ABOUT? >> YEAH, JASPER, WHAT'S UP? >> YOU GUYS KNOW

>> YEAH, JASPER, WHAT'S UP? >> YOU GUYS KNOW MY LATEST BUCKET PODCAST?

>> YOU GUYS KNOW MY LATEST BUCKET PODCAST? >> YEAH?

MY LATEST BUCKET PODCAST? >> YEAH? >> 100,007 DOWNLOADS.

>> YEAH? >> 100,007 DOWNLOADS. >> WHAT?

>> 100,007 DOWNLOADS. >> WHAT? >> NO.

>> WHAT? >> NO. >> THAT MANY PEOPLE

>> NO. >> THAT MANY PEOPLE DOWNLOADED YOUR NEW PODCAST?

>> THAT MANY PEOPLE DOWNLOADED YOUR NEW PODCAST? >> YES, SIR.

DOWNLOADED YOUR NEW PODCAST? >> YES, SIR. >> AND WHAT'S THE MOST

>> YES, SIR. >> AND WHAT'S THE MOST YOU'VE EVER GOT BEFORE?

>> AND WHAT'S THE MOST YOU'VE EVER GOT BEFORE? >> SEVEN.

YOU'VE EVER GOT BEFORE? >> SEVEN. >> WOW, THAT'S REALLY GREAT.

>> SEVEN. >> WOW, THAT'S REALLY GREAT. I BET THIS SUCCESS

>> WOW, THAT'S REALLY GREAT. I BET THIS SUCCESS MAKES YOU FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

I BET THIS SUCCESS MAKES YOU FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF AS A PERSON.

MAKES YOU FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF AS A PERSON. >> IT DOES.

ABOUT YOURSELF AS A PERSON. >> IT DOES. LATER, I'M GOING TO GO

>> IT DOES. LATER, I'M GOING TO GO TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE

LATER, I'M GOING TO GO TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE AND I'M GOING TO SAY,

TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "HEY GRANDMA,

AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "HEY GRANDMA, WHO'S USELESS NOW?"

"HEY GRANDMA, WHO'S USELESS NOW?" >> GOOD FOR YOU, JASP.

WHO'S USELESS NOW?" >> GOOD FOR YOU, JASP. >> THANKS.

>> GOOD FOR YOU, JASP. >> THANKS. HEY, CAN I GO UP TO YOUR ROOM

>> THANKS. HEY, CAN I GO UP TO YOUR ROOM AND RECORD A SPECIAL

HEY, CAN I GO UP TO YOUR ROOM AND RECORD A SPECIAL THANK YOU MESSAGE FOR MY FANS?

AND RECORD A SPECIAL THANK YOU MESSAGE FOR MY FANS? >> SURE.

THANK YOU MESSAGE FOR MY FANS? >> SURE. >> THANKS.

>> SURE. >> THANKS. >> WAY TO GO, JASPER.

>> THANKS. >> WAY TO GO, JASPER. YOU'RE A ROCK STAR.

>> WAY TO GO, JASPER. YOU'RE A ROCK STAR. >> THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

YOU'RE A ROCK STAR. >> THAT'S HOW I FEEL. >> HA!

>> THAT'S HOW I FEEL. >> HA! >> SHE DID SOMETHING.

>> HA! >> SHE DID SOMETHING. >> PIPER...

>> SHE DID SOMETHING. >> PIPER... >> YEAH?

>> PIPER... >> YEAH? >> WHAT DID YOU DO?

>> YEAH? >> WHAT DID YOU DO? >> OKAY. OKAY.

>> WHAT DID YOU DO? >> OKAY. OKAY. I WENT ON A WEBSITE

>> OKAY. OKAY. I WENT ON A WEBSITE AND FOR 10 BUCKS,

I WENT ON A WEBSITE AND FOR 10 BUCKS, I BOUGHT JASPER

AND FOR 10 BUCKS, I BOUGHT JASPER 100,000 FAKE DOWNLOADS.

>> WELL, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? >> TO GET HIM ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED

>> TO GET HIM ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED SO LATER I CAN CRUSH HIM.

ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED SO LATER I CAN CRUSH HIM. >> OKAY, THAT'S A REALLY

SO LATER I CAN CRUSH HIM. >> OKAY, THAT'S A REALLY MEAN THING TO--

>> OKAY, THAT'S A REALLY MEAN THING TO-- >> [ SCREAMING ]

MEAN THING TO-- >> [ SCREAMING ] >> MOM?

>> [ SCREAMING ] >> MOM? >> WHERE'S THE BUG SPRAY?

>> MOM? >> WHERE'S THE BUG SPRAY? I NEED THE BUG SPRAY

>> WHERE'S THE BUG SPRAY? I NEED THE BUG SPRAY AND A BASEBALL BAT.

I NEED THE BUG SPRAY AND A BASEBALL BAT. >> MOM. MOM.

AND A BASEBALL BAT. >> MOM. MOM. MOM, WHAT'S WRONG?

>> MOM. MOM. MOM, WHAT'S WRONG? >> I...

MOM, WHAT'S WRONG? >> I... I WAS DOWN IN THE BASEMENT

>> I... I WAS DOWN IN THE BASEMENT WASHING YOUR BACKPACK

I WAS DOWN IN THE BASEMENT WASHING YOUR BACKPACK BECAUSE IT WAS

WASHING YOUR BACKPACK BECAUSE IT WAS ALL STICKY INSIDE.

BECAUSE IT WAS ALL STICKY INSIDE. OH, HI, CHARLOTT

ALL STICKY INSIDE. OH, HI, CHARLOTT AND THERE WAS THIS BUG

OH, HI, CHARLOTT AND THERE WAS THIS BUG OR MAYBE IT WAS A RAT,

AND THERE WAS THIS BUG OR MAYBE IT WAS A RAT, WHATEVER IT WAS,

OR MAYBE IT WAS A RAT, WHATEVER IT WAS, IT JUMPED ON ME

WHATEVER IT WAS, IT JUMPED ON ME AND LANDED ON MY SHOULDER.

>> UH-OH. >> WHA... I GOT TO GO NEXT DOOR

>> WHA... I GOT TO GO NEXT DOOR AND BORROW SOME BUG SPRAY

I GOT TO GO NEXT DOOR AND BORROW SOME BUG SPRAY AND MAYBE A SHOTGUN.

>> MY BACKPACK. THE CREATURE MUST'VE CRAWLED IN MY BACKPACK AT WORK.

THE CREATURE MUST'VE CRAWLED IN MY BACKPACK AT WORK. >> AND NOW IT'S HERE.

IN MY BACKPACK AT WORK. >> AND NOW IT'S HERE. >> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS

>> AND NOW IT'S HERE. >> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

>> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? >> NOTHING.

TALKING ABOUT? >> NOTHING. >> YOU'RE NOTHING.

>> NOTHING. >> YOU'RE NOTHING. >> WE GOT TO FIND THAT CREATURE.

>> YOU'RE NOTHING. >> WE GOT TO FIND THAT CREATURE. COME DOWN

>> WE GOT TO FIND THAT CREATURE. COME DOWN TO THE BASEMENT WITH ME.

COME DOWN TO THE BASEMENT WITH ME. >> I GOT A BETTER IDEA.

TO THE BASEMENT WITH ME. >> I GOT A BETTER IDEA. >> WHAT?

SO... SHE'S GONE.

>> OH, HONEY, WOULD YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE? >> I'LL COME DOWN

GET DOWN FROM THERE? >> I'LL COME DOWN AFTER YOU SHOW ME

>> I'LL COME DOWN AFTER YOU SHOW ME ITS DEAD LIFELESS BODY.

AFTER YOU SHOW ME ITS DEAD LIFELESS BODY. >> WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED

ITS DEAD LIFELESS BODY. >> WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED OF A BUG?

>> WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED OF A BUG? >> IT'S NOT JUST A BUG.

OF A BUG? >> IT'S NOT JUST A BUG. IT'S A HUGE ICKY CREATURE THING.

>> IT'S NOT JUST A BUG. IT'S A HUGE ICKY CREATURE THING. >> LADIES BE CRAZY.

IT'S A HUGE ICKY CREATURE THING. >> LADIES BE CRAZY. >> SOMETIMES LADIES

>> LADIES BE CRAZY. >> SOMETIMES LADIES BE MAKING SENSE.

>> SOMETIMES LADIES BE MAKING SENSE. >> JUST GO KILL IT.

BE MAKING SENSE. >> JUST GO KILL IT. >> ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING.

>> JUST GO KILL IT. >> ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING. TWO X CHROMOSOMES.

>> RAY. RAY. >> HEY, HENRY, I CAN'T TALK. GOOCH AND I ARE STILL LOOKING

>> HEY, HENRY, I CAN'T TALK. GOOCH AND I ARE STILL LOOKING FOR THE CREATURE.

GOOCH AND I ARE STILL LOOKING FOR THE CREATURE. >> YEAH, I DON'T THI

FOR THE CREATURE. >> YEAH, I DON'T THI YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT.

>> YEAH, I DON'T THI YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT. >> WHY NOT?

YOU'RE GOING TO FIND IT. >> WHY NOT? >> BECAUSE IT'S IN MY HOUSE.

>> WHY NOT? >> BECAUSE IT'S IN MY HOUSE. >> WHAT?

>> BECAUSE IT'S IN MY HOUSE. >> WHAT? >> GOOCH DROPP

>> WHAT? >> GOOCH DROPP MY BACKPACK OFF HERE

>> GOOCH DROPP MY BACKPACK OFF HERE AND I GUESS IT WAS INSIDE.

MY BACKPACK OFF HERE AND I GUESS IT WAS INSIDE. >> DID YOU SEE THE CREATURE?

AND I GUESS IT WAS INSIDE. >> DID YOU SEE THE CREATURE? >> NO, BUT IT JUMPED ON MY MOM.

>> DID YOU SEE THE CREATURE? >> NO, BUT IT JUMPED ON MY MOM. >> OH, MAN, IS YOUR MOM OKAY?

>> NO, BUT IT JUMPED ON MY MOM. >> OH, MAN, IS YOUR MOM OKAY? >> YEAH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

>> OH, MAN, IS YOUR MOM OKAY? >> YEAH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT. >> BECAUSE SHE IS

>> YEAH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT. >> BECAUSE SHE IS ONE FINE LOOKING LADY.

>> BECAUSE SHE IS ONE FINE LOOKING LADY. >> RAY, WILL YOU JUST--

ONE FINE LOOKING LADY. >> RAY, WILL YOU JUST-- >> [ SCREAMING ]

>> RAY, WILL YOU JUST-- >> [ SCREAMING ] >> WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?

>> [ SCREAMING ] >> WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU SEE THE BUG?

>> WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU SEE THE BUG? >> YEP.

DID YOU SEE THE BUG? >> YEP. >> WELL, DID YOU KILL IT?

>> YEP. >> WELL, DID YOU KILL IT? >> NOPE.

>> WELL, DID YOU KILL IT? >> NOPE. >> YOU BETTER GET OVER HERE.

>> OKAY, TO ALL MY LISTENERS OUT THERE WHO'VE ALREADY TUNED IN, MY NEXT OFFICIAL

OUT THERE WHO'VE ALREADY TUNED IN, MY NEXT OFFICIAL "JUST BUCKET" LIVE PODCAST

TUNED IN, MY NEXT OFFICIAL "JUST BUCKET" LIVE PODCAST WILL BEGIN IN SEVEN MINUTES.

"JUST BUCKET" LIVE PODCAST WILL BEGIN IN SEVEN MINUTES. >> YES.

WILL BEGIN IN SEVEN MINUTES. >> YES. START PODDING ALREADY.

>> YES. START PODDING ALREADY. [ DOOR KNOCKING ]

>> HEY, JASPER. >> SORRY, PIPER, YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN TODAY.

>> SORRY, PIPER, YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN TODAY. YOU KNOW WHY?

YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN TODAY. YOU KNOW WHY? 100,007 DOWNLOADS.

YOU KNOW WHY? 100,007 DOWNLOADS. >> I DON'T WANT

100,007 DOWNLOADS. >> I DON'T WANT TO BRING YOU DOWN.

>> I DON'T WANT TO BRING YOU DOWN. I JUST WANT TO KNOW

TO BRING YOU DOWN. I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF I CAN MAYBE

I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF I CAN MAYBE BE A GUEST ON YOUR PODCAST.

IF I CAN MAYBE BE A GUEST ON YOUR PODCAST. >> WHY?

BE A GUEST ON YOUR PODCAST. >> WHY? YOU'RE NOT A BUCKET LOVER.

>> WHY? YOU'RE NOT A BUCKET LOVER. YOU'RE A BUCKET HATER.

YOU'RE NOT A BUCKET LOVER. YOU'RE A BUCKET HATER. >> NO, NO, NO.

YOU'RE A BUCKET HATER. >> NO, NO, NO. YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG, FRIEND.

>> NO, NO, NO. YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG, FRIEND. I'M NOT A BUCKET HATER.

YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG, FRIEND. I'M NOT A BUCKET HATER. I'M BUCKET CURIOUS.

I'M NOT A BUCKET HATER. I'M BUCKET CURIOUS. >> YOU ARE?

I'M BUCKET CURIOUS. >> YOU ARE? >> YEAH.

>> YOU ARE? >> YEAH. AND MAYBE IF I LEARN MORE

>> YEAH. AND MAYBE IF I LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM, ONE DAY I COULD BE

AND MAYBE IF I LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM, ONE DAY I COULD BE A BUCKETEER LIKE YOU

ABOUT THEM, ONE DAY I COULD BE A BUCKETEER LIKE YOU AND ALL YOUR FANS.

A BUCKETEER LIKE YOU AND ALL YOUR FANS. >> OKAY. SURE.

AND ALL YOUR FANS. >> OKAY. SURE. YOU CAN BE A GUEST

>> OKAY. SURE. YOU CAN BE A GUEST ON MY PODCAST.

YOU CAN BE A GUEST ON MY PODCAST. >> GREAT.

>> WHERE'S THE EXTERMINATOR? >> I DON'T KNOW. HENRY, JUST GO DOWN

>> I DON'T KNOW. HENRY, JUST GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT

HENRY, JUST GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT AND KILL THAT THING.

TO THE BASEMENT AND KILL THAT THING. >> OH, YOU'RE GOING

AND KILL THAT THING. >> OH, YOU'RE GOING TO SEND ME DOWN THERE?

>> OH, YOU'RE GOING TO SEND ME DOWN THERE? >> ARE YOU CRAZY?

TO SEND ME DOWN THERE? >> ARE YOU CRAZY? WE ARE NOT SENDING OUR SON

>> ARE YOU CRAZY? WE ARE NOT SENDING OUR SON TO DO BATTLE WITH SOME

WE ARE NOT SENDING OUR SON TO DO BATTLE WITH SOME DANGEROUS FREAKY RAT BUG.

TO DO BATTLE WITH SOME DANGEROUS FREAKY RAT BUG. >> YOU'RE RIGHT.

DANGEROUS FREAKY RAT BUG. >> YOU'RE RIGHT. PIPER!

>> YOU'RE RIGHT. PIPER! MOMMY AND DADDY

PIPER! MOMMY AND DADDY HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO!

MOMMY AND DADDY HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO! [ DOORBELL RINGS ]

HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO! [ DOORBELL RINGS ] >> I GOT IT.

>> HI. >> HEY, WHAT ARE YOU-- >> JUST PLAY ALONG.

>> HEY, WHAT ARE YOU-- >> JUST PLAY ALONG. HELLO, CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.

>> JUST PLAY ALONG. HELLO, CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW. >> OH MY GOD, IT'S CAPTAIN MAN.

HELLO, CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW. >> OH MY GOD, IT'S CAPTAIN MAN. >> IN OUR HOUSE.

>> OH MY GOD, IT'S CAPTAIN MAN. >> IN OUR HOUSE. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> IN OUR HOUSE. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? >> WELL, SOMETIMES I GO AROUND

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? >> WELL, SOMETIMES I GO AROUND TO VARIOUS NEIGHBORHOODS

>> WELL, SOMETIMES I GO AROUND TO VARIOUS NEIGHBORHOODS IN SWELLVIEW TAKING SURVEYS.

TO VARIOUS NEIGHBORHOODS IN SWELLVIEW TAKING SURVEYS. >> SURVEYS?

IN SWELLVIEW TAKING SURVEYS. >> SURVEYS? >> OH YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT

>> SURVEYS? >> OH YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT ON THE NEWS.

>> OH YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT ON THE NEWS. >> YOU GUYS MIND

ON THE NEWS. >> YOU GUYS MIND TAKING A SURVEY?

>> YOU GUYS MIND TAKING A SURVEY? >> NOT AT ALL.

TAKING A SURVEY? >> NOT AT ALL. >> GO AHEAD.

>> NOT AT ALL. >> GO AHEAD. >> GREAT.

>> GO AHEAD. >> GREAT. QUESTION ONE,

>> GREAT. QUESTION ONE, HOW OFTE

QUESTION ONE, HOW OFTE DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN SURVEYS?

HOW OFTE DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN SURVEYS? "A," OFTEN,

DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN SURVEYS? "A," OFTEN, B, RARELY,

"A," OFTEN, B, RARELY, OR C, THIS IS MY FIRST SURVEY.

B, RARELY, OR C, THIS IS MY FIRST SURVEY. >> I THINK

OR C, THIS IS MY FIRST SURVEY. >> I THINK THIS IS OUR FIRST SURVEY.

>> I THINK THIS IS OUR FIRST SURVEY. >> I THINK IT IS.

THIS IS OUR FIRST SURVEY. >> I THINK IT IS. >> CAPTAIN MAN...

>> I THINK IT IS. >> CAPTAIN MAN... >> YES, BOY?

>> CAPTAIN MAN... >> YES, BOY? >> SINCE YOU JUST HAPPEN

>> YES, BOY? >> SINCE YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE HERE,

>> SINCE YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE HERE, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP US OUT

TO BE HERE, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP US OUT WITH A PROBLEM?

MAYBE YOU CAN HELP US OUT WITH A PROBLEM? >> PROBLEM?

WITH A PROBLEM? >> PROBLEM? >> YEAH.

>> PROBLEM? >> YEAH. WE GOT A BIG SCARY BUG

>> YEAH. WE GOT A BIG SCARY BUG DOWN IN OUR BASEMENT.

WE GOT A BIG SCARY BUG DOWN IN OUR BASEMENT. >> A SCARY BUG, HUH?

DOWN IN OUR BASEMENT. >> A SCARY BUG, HUH? WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY

>> A SCARY BUG, HUH? WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY I TAKE THIS

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY I TAKE THIS DOWN TO YOUR BASEMENT

I TAKE THIS DOWN TO YOUR BASEMENT AND TEACH THAT BUG SOME MANNERS?

DOWN TO YOUR BASEMENT AND TEACH THAT BUG SOME MANNERS? THAT SOUND GOOD TO YOU,

AND TEACH THAT BUG SOME MANNERS? THAT SOUND GOOD TO YOU, PRETTY LADY?

THAT SOUND GOOD TO YOU, PRETTY LADY? >> IT DOES.

PRETTY LADY? >> IT DOES. >> YEAH, IT DOES.

>> SO, GOOD LUCK, CAPTAIN MAN. >> RIGHT.

>> I HOPE HE KILLS THE BUG. >> YEAH. THEN WE CAN FINISH THAT SURVEY.

>> YEAH. THEN WE CAN FINISH THAT SURVEY. >> RIGHT.

THEN WE CAN FINISH THAT SURVEY. >> RIGHT. >> EAT LASER, SLIME BEAST.

>> RIGHT. >> EAT LASER, SLIME BEAST. YOU PICKED THE WRONG PLANET

>> EAT LASER, SLIME BEAST. YOU PICKED THE WRONG PLANET TO HATCH ON.

YOU PICKED THE WRONG PLANET TO HATCH ON. I GOT YOU.

TO HATCH ON. I GOT YOU. OH MY GOD, YOU'RE NOT DEAD.

NO, NOBODY THERE. >> YOU KNOW, I REALLY THINK MY PODCAST

>> YOU KNOW, I REALLY THINK MY PODCAST IS HELPING SPREAD EXCITEMENT

I REALLY THINK MY PODCAST IS HELPING SPREAD EXCITEMENT ABOUT BUCKETEERING.

IS HELPING SPREAD EXCITEMENT ABOUT BUCKETEERING. >> AMEN, BROTHER. POD ON.

ABOUT BUCKETEERING. >> AMEN, BROTHER. POD ON. [ CRASHING ]

>> AMEN, BROTHER. POD ON. [ CRASHING ] >> I'M NOT SUR

[ CRASHING ] >> I'M NOT SUR WHAT ALL THAT NOISE IS.

>> I'M NOT SUR WHAT ALL THAT NOISE IS. [ SCREAMING ]

WHAT ALL THAT NOISE IS. [ SCREAMING ] BUT RIGHT NOW

[ SCREAMING ] BUT RIGHT NOW I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU

BUT RIGHT NOW I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A SPECIAL GUEST.

I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A SPECIAL GUEST. SO, PLEASE PUT YOUR BUCKETS

TO A SPECIAL GUEST. SO, PLEASE PUT YOUR BUCKETS TOGETHER FOR PIPER HART.

SO, PLEASE PUT YOUR BUCKETS TOGETHER FOR PIPER HART. [ APPLAUSE ]

>> IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HERE, JASPER. WE'RE LIVE, RIGHT?

JASPER. WE'RE LIVE, RIGHT? >> OH YEAH.

WE'RE LIVE, RIGHT? >> OH YEAH. WE'RE LIVE ON THE WEB.

>> OH YEAH. WE'RE LIVE ON THE WEB. EVEN MY GRANDMA IS LISTENING.

WE'RE LIVE ON THE WEB. EVEN MY GRANDMA IS LISTENING. >> NICE.

EVEN MY GRANDMA IS LISTENING. >> NICE. SO, I HEAR YOUR LAST PODCAST

>> NICE. SO, I HEAR YOUR LAST PODCAST GOT HOW MANY DOWNLOADS?

SO, I HEAR YOUR LAST PODCAST GOT HOW MANY DOWNLOADS? >> 100,007.

GOT HOW MANY DOWNLOADS? >> 100,007. SO FAR.

>> 100,007. SO FAR. >> WOW, IMPRESSIVE.

SO FAR. >> WOW, IMPRESSIVE. >> ISN'T IT?

>> WOW, IMPRESSIVE. >> ISN'T IT? >> IT WOULD BE EXCEPT THAT

>> ISN'T IT? >> IT WOULD BE EXCEPT THAT 100,000 OF THOSE DOWNLOADS

>> IT WOULD BE EXCEPT THAT 100,000 OF THOSE DOWNLOADS ARE FAKE.

100,000 OF THOSE DOWNLOADS ARE FAKE. >> SAY WHAT?

ARE FAKE. >> SAY WHAT? >> YEAH.

>> SAY WHAT? >> YEAH. I WENT ONLINE AND BOUGHT YOU

>> YEAH. I WENT ONLINE AND BOUGHT YOU 100,000 FAKE DOWNLOADS.

I WENT ONLINE AND BOUGHT YOU 100,000 FAKE DOWNLOADS. >> [ GASPS ]

100,000 FAKE DOWNLOADS. >> [ GASPS ] >> WHY?

>> [ GASPS ] >> WHY? >> SO YOU'D THINK YOUR PODCA

>> WHY? >> SO YOU'D THINK YOUR PODCA WAS REALLY POPULAR,

>> SO YOU'D THINK YOUR PODCA WAS REALLY POPULAR, WHICH IT'S NOT.

>> [ PANTING ]

HEY. >> HI. >> WHAT HAPPENED?

>> HI. >> WHAT HAPPENED? >> DID YOU KILL

>> WHAT HAPPENED? >> DID YOU KILL THE CREATURE THING?

>> DID YOU KILL THE CREATURE THING? >> ALMOST.

THE CREATURE THING? >> ALMOST. DID YOU GUYS

>> ALMOST. DID YOU GUYS SEE IT CRAWL UP HERE?

DID YOU GUYS SEE IT CRAWL UP HERE? >> UP HERE?

SEE IT CRAWL UP HERE? >> UP HERE? >> WHAT?

>> UP HERE? >> WHAT? >> YOU LOST IT?

>> WHAT? >> YOU LOST IT? >> NO, NO.

>> YOU LOST IT? >> NO, NO. BUT IT CRAWLED INTO

>> NO, NO. BUT IT CRAWLED INTO YOUR AIR CONDITIONING VENT.

BUT IT CRAWLED INTO YOUR AIR CONDITIONING VENT. I THINK IT MIGHT BE

YOUR AIR CONDITIONING VENT. I THINK IT MIGHT BE HEADED UP TO THE ROOF.

I THINK IT MIGHT BE HEADED UP TO THE ROOF. YOU PEOPLE WAIT HERE.

>> CAPTAIN MAN? >> YES? >> AFTER YOU KILL THE THING,

>> YES? >> AFTER YOU KILL THE THING, ARE WE GOING

>> AFTER YOU KILL THE THING, ARE WE GOING TO FINISH THE SURVEY?

ARE WE GOING TO FINISH THE SURVEY? >> OH YEAH.

>> WILL YOU GO KILL IT? >> RIGHT. >> SO YOU PAID MONEY

>> RIGHT. >> SO YOU PAID MONEY JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL

>> SO YOU PAID MONEY JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED

JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR NOTHING?

ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR NOTHING? >> NO.

FOR NOTHING? >> NO. I PAID MONEY TO MAKE YOU FEEL

>> NO. I PAID MONEY TO MAKE YOU FEEL ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED

I PAID MONEY TO MAKE YOU FEEL ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED SO THAT THEN I COULD MAKE YOU

ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED SO THAT THEN I COULD MAKE YOU FEEL ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED.

SO THAT THEN I COULD MAKE YOU FEEL ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED. UPDATE, IT WORKED.

FEEL ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED. UPDATE, IT WORKED. >> BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

UPDATE, IT WORKED. >> BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? BECAUSE WHEN YOU DID

>> BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? BECAUSE WHEN YOU DID YOUR LAST PODCAST HERE,

BECAUSE WHEN YOU DID YOUR LAST PODCAST HERE, I COULDN'T DOWNLOAD

YOUR LAST PODCAST HERE, I COULDN'T DOWNLOAD GINGER FOX'S NEW VIDEO.

I COULDN'T DOWNLOAD GINGER FOX'S NEW VIDEO. >> WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW

GINGER FOX'S NEW VIDEO. >> WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE TRYING

>> WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE TRYING TO DOWNLOAD SOMETHING.

YOU WERE TRYING TO DOWNLOAD SOMETHING. >> WELL, YOU KNOW NOW,

TO DOWNLOAD SOMETHING. >> WELL, YOU KNOW NOW, DON'T YOU?

>> WELL, YOU KNOW NOW, DON'T YOU? >> BUT COULDN'T YOU HAVE

DON'T YOU? >> BUT COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST TOLD ME

>> BUT COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE TRYING--

JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE TRYING-- CAPTAIN MAN?

THAT YOU WERE TRYING-- CAPTAIN MAN? >> WHAT THE--

CAPTAIN MAN? >> WHAT THE-- >> NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS.

>> WHAT THE-- >> NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS. DIE, ALIEN SCUM!

>> WHAT'S HAPPENING? >> WHAT ARE YOU SHOOTING AT? >> AN ALIEN.

>> BEST PODCAST EVER.

>> OH MY GOD. >> THE CREATURE.

>> MOM! >> WAIT! COME BACK! >> NO!

>> WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE 100,000 DOWNLOADS, BUT AT LEAST

100,000 DOWNLOADS, BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A SLIMEY ALIEN

BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A SLIMEY ALIEN STUCK TO MY FACE.

>> IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE.

IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE.

IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE.

IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE.

IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE.

IT'S ON MY FACE. IT'S ON MY FACE. >> EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL.

IT'S ON MY FACE. >> EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL. LITTLE GIRL!

>> EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL. LITTLE GIRL! STOP RUNNING SO I CAN

LITTLE GIRL! STOP RUNNING SO I CAN SHOOT IT OFF YOUR FACE!

>> HE'LL PROBABLY JUST SHOOT IT OFF HER FACE. [ SHOOTING ]

SHOOT IT OFF HER FACE. [ SHOOTING ] [ SCREAMING ]

>> I GOT YOU.

WELL, THE CREATURE CHEWED HER CHEEK UP A LITTLE, BUT SHE'S OKAY.

CHEWED HER CHEEK UP A LITTLE, BUT SHE'S OKAY. >> I AM NOT OKAY.

>> OH, PIPER, DON'T BE A DRAMA QUEEN. >> SERIOUSLY.

DON'T BE A DRAMA QUEEN. >> SERIOUSLY. >> WHAT ABOUT THE CREATURE?

>> SERIOUSLY. >> WHAT ABOUT THE CREATURE? DID YOU KILL IT?

>> WHAT ABOUT THE CREATURE? DID YOU KILL IT? >> OH, I THINK SO.

DID YOU KILL IT? >> OH, I THINK SO. I SHOT HIM WITH THIS THING

>> OH, I THINK SO. I SHOT HIM WITH THIS THING NINE TIMES AND IT CRAWLED

I SHOT HIM WITH THIS THING NINE TIMES AND IT CRAWLED UNDER A BUSH TO DIE.

NINE TIMES AND IT CRAWLED UNDER A BUSH TO DIE. I DON'T THINK THAT CREATURE

UNDER A BUSH TO DIE. I DON'T THINK THAT CREATURE WILL BOTHER ANYONE EVER AGAIN.

[ ALIEN SQUEALING ]

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