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1
00:00:06,122 --> 00:00:07,876
Well... spring has sprung.
2
00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:09,614
The food truck business
is about to boom,
3
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,356
which means once again I have to
contend with my archenemy,
4
00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:14,180
the Brazilian.
5
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,388
What's wrong with you guys?
6
00:00:17,491 --> 00:00:18,612
Normally, you'd razz me
pretty hard
7
00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:20,452
when I say things like
"spring has sprung"
8
00:00:20,536 --> 00:00:22,001
or when I walk into a room.
9
00:00:23,514 --> 00:00:25,473
"Five way Jinx." Really?
10
00:00:26,712 --> 00:00:28,379
"Yes, really!"
All right, fine.
11
00:00:28,475 --> 00:00:29,891
Max, Penny, Brad, Jane, Alex.
12
00:00:29,974 --> 00:00:31,310
UnJinxed.
13
00:00:33,217 --> 00:00:35,383
You don't have to hold
your breath when you're Jinxed.
14
00:00:35,471 --> 00:00:36,439
I play prison rules.
15
00:00:36,523 --> 00:00:37,416
They play Jinx in prison?
16
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,282
Guys, back to my thing!
The Brazilian.
17
00:00:39,377 --> 00:00:41,050
Oh, you mean that guy
with the awesome steak truck--
18
00:00:41,136 --> 00:00:41,915
Rio de Ja-Tasty?
19
00:00:42,007 --> 00:00:45,094
Oh, I love that guy. He has
the best churrascherascia.
20
00:00:45,225 --> 00:00:47,429
- It's churrascaria.- Ugh.
21
00:00:47,527 --> 00:00:49,374
- Gross.
- Anyway, the guy's a real jerk.
22
00:00:49,468 --> 00:00:51,961
He's always sabotaging me,
trying to steal my business.
23
00:00:52,031 --> 00:00:53,606
Just fight back
like you did in high school
24
00:00:53,649 --> 00:00:55,267
when those kids stole
your can of mousse.
25
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,021
Oh, wait.
You didn't fight back.
26
00:00:57,112 --> 00:00:58,350
You just hid
in the yearbook office
27
00:00:58,468 --> 00:01:00,274
and complained that
your hair wasn't hard enough.
28
00:01:00,368 --> 00:01:01,722
Penny,
this dude is hard-core.
29
00:01:01,827 --> 00:01:03,770
One time, he plugged
an exhaust vent in my truck
30
00:01:03,892 --> 00:01:05,151
with human manure.
31
00:01:05,264 --> 00:01:07,261
And he's always calling in
fake to-go orders.
32
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,198
You didn't think it was weird
that Dean Cain asked you
33
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,481
to cater
an 1,100-person bachelor party?
34
00:01:11,564 --> 00:01:13,129
No, Jane,
I didn't think it was weird
35
00:01:13,236 --> 00:01:15,895
because it was
Dean freakin' Cain.
36
00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:17,115
- Ohh.
- The point is,
37
00:01:17,241 --> 00:01:19,728
I gotta be a man
and stand up for myself...
38
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,856
on my own,
with you guys behind me--
39
00:01:21,943 --> 00:01:23,706
Brad, maybe you more
towards the front,
40
00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:25,674
perhaps wearing
some raiders gear?
41
00:01:25,921 --> 00:01:28,579
Well, us gals can't help
'cause we're too busy
42
00:01:28,706 --> 00:01:31,684
doing some last-minute details
for the old wedding.
43
00:01:31,781 --> 00:01:34,112
Yep. I'm officially
in the wedding red zone.
44
00:01:34,214 --> 00:01:36,992
See, I put that in sports terms
so you guys could understand.
45
00:01:37,142 --> 00:01:38,688
We're in the eighth quarter,
boys,
46
00:01:38,773 --> 00:01:41,686
about to put some sports points
up on the scoreyard.
47
00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:44,563
Oops. I think
I formbled the bawrrl.
48
00:01:44,663 --> 00:01:46,558
Turnunder.
49
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,129
- Well, Brad, Max?
- I don't know.
50
00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:52,151
I sent myself an alarm clock
to scare the Fed Ex guy,
51
00:01:52,239 --> 00:01:53,716
and that's showing up
around 1:00.
52
00:01:53,818 --> 00:01:55,034
But other than that,
I think I'm free.
53
00:01:55,141 --> 00:01:56,203
I'm all clear.
Was gonna volunteer
54
00:01:56,303 --> 00:01:57,919
teaching some inner city kids
how to read,
55
00:01:58,013 --> 00:01:59,012
but then I was like...
56
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,137
this is my Saturday.
57
00:02:00,262 --> 00:02:02,173
Awesome. Well, the girls got
their stupid thing,
58
00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:05,616
and we got our awesome thing,
so go us on three. Ready?
59
00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:06,788
One--
60
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:08,361
Jinx!
61
00:02:13,172 --> 00:02:15,698
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
62
00:02:19,524 --> 00:02:22,980
Then at 3:12,
Penny enters, lookin' gorg,
63
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,949
saunters down the aisle
64
00:02:25,059 --> 00:02:28,314
as we call once again on
the obese Hawaiian ukulele trio
65
00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:30,033
for "Suddenly Seymour"...
66
00:02:30,154 --> 00:02:31,487
from "Little Shop Of Horrors."
67
00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:32,796
Fat people
and tiny instruments--
68
00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:34,589
you think they're gonna eat 'em,
but then they play 'em.
69
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:35,528
Yep.
70
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,136
Oh, God.
It's just like I dreamed.
71
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,799
Wait. Who's gonna walk you down
the aisle?
72
00:02:40,147 --> 00:02:42,582
You know what? I never even
thought about that.
73
00:02:42,665 --> 00:02:45,680
You had Jane plan you a backup
wedding in an underground bunker
74
00:02:45,786 --> 00:02:48,538
just in case North Korea
quote "grew a pair,"
75
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:49,792
but you never thought about
76
00:02:49,897 --> 00:02:51,588
who was gonna
walk you down the aisle?
77
00:02:52,641 --> 00:02:55,172
Wait! You should have your dad
do it.
78
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,261
- What?
- Yes!
79
00:02:56,372 --> 00:02:59,241
Why? I can't even remember
the last time I saw him.
80
00:02:59,337 --> 00:03:00,323
Yeah, 'cause he's a deadbeat.
81
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:02,486
He left you and your mom
to become an actor?
82
00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:05,001
Ucch. Actors are the worst.
83
00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:06,490
- Awful.
- The worst.
84
00:03:06,614 --> 00:03:08,648
But, Jane, "deadbeat" is
a little strong.
85
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,635
Roy and my mom were 17.
86
00:03:10,806 --> 00:03:13,606
They were just two kids doing
Shakespeare in the park
87
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:15,157
and each other
in the parking lot.
88
00:03:15,249 --> 00:03:17,112
Besides, my mom and I
were fine without him.
89
00:03:17,244 --> 00:03:18,980
But this is a chance
to reconnect with him.
90
00:03:19,088 --> 00:03:20,983
No, Pen, I don't wanna
see you get hurt.
91
00:03:21,108 --> 00:03:22,542
Okay, he was never there
for you.
92
00:03:22,626 --> 00:03:24,577
Why would you let him be a part
of your special day?
93
00:03:24,673 --> 00:03:26,696
Come on, Penny. You have half
your dad's DNA,
94
00:03:26,797 --> 00:03:27,799
and you're amazing.
95
00:03:27,964 --> 00:03:29,950
He has all his DNA.
96
00:03:30,075 --> 00:03:31,797
Think of how great he could be.
97
00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:33,072
He's the great unknown.
98
00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:34,884
He's the Moon.
99
00:03:34,996 --> 00:03:35,982
We've been to the Moon.
100
00:03:36,076 --> 00:03:37,362
Really, Jane? Have we?
101
00:03:37,469 --> 00:03:39,428
Or have we been to a soundstage
in Burbank?
102
00:03:39,538 --> 00:03:41,245
Penny, you got to at least
call him
103
00:03:41,376 --> 00:03:43,100
and tell him that
you're getting married.
104
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:46,376
Yeah. Maybe I will.
105
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,463
Yes! Ah!
106
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,674
Brad, you're a businessman.
How do I beat the Brazilian?
107
00:03:51,772 --> 00:03:52,783
Well...
108
00:03:52,911 --> 00:03:55,401
you need to follow the four
basic business principles--
109
00:03:55,515 --> 00:03:57,989
marketing, quality,
research, and service.
110
00:03:58,101 --> 00:03:59,609
It's a little something
we in the corporate world
111
00:03:59,696 --> 00:04:01,636
like to call
"maskqualisearcheting."
112
00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:08,628
I have sat silent long enough.
113
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:09,481
It's been 20 seconds.
114
00:04:09,573 --> 00:04:12,330
Dave, you don't need
any of this business crap.
115
00:04:12,463 --> 00:04:14,113
What you need is to play dirty.
116
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,196
You need a dirtbag,
117
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,377
and luckily enough for you,
my middle name is Herbert...
118
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,974
and I'm a dirtbag.
119
00:04:20,082 --> 00:04:23,987
He's not lying. He once ladybugged himself
into a junior high girls soccer tournament,
120
00:04:24,093 --> 00:04:25,703
bet against the team,
and then threw the game.
121
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,878
Best $45 I ever won,
minus the $10 it cost me
122
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,387
to find an ace bandage big
enough to strap down my girls.
123
00:04:31,499 --> 00:04:33,980
But what we need to do, David,
is go down to his butcher,
124
00:04:34,134 --> 00:04:36,793
change the order from
delicious churrasco beef
125
00:04:36,895 --> 00:04:39,163
that he usually gets
to all the nasty bits.
126
00:04:39,263 --> 00:04:43,136
I'm talkin' lips, veins,
and grade Y crotch meat.
127
00:04:43,232 --> 00:04:44,283
Are you telling me
that you convinced
128
00:04:44,381 --> 00:04:46,309
an AYSO tournament director
129
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,498
that you were as flat
as a seventh grade girl?
130
00:04:48,626 --> 00:04:49,839
Guilty as charged.
131
00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:52,060
Well, I tried playing fair,
and it didn't work.
132
00:04:52,156 --> 00:04:53,377
Max, you got the ball now.
133
00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:54,343
- What?!
- What?!
134
00:04:55,715 --> 00:04:57,571
Oh. Oh, yeah!
135
00:04:58,118 --> 00:04:59,741
Yeah, I can handle it.
Good call.
136
00:05:00,304 --> 00:05:01,857
Guys, thank you so much
137
00:05:01,987 --> 00:05:03,406
for coming with me
to meet my dad.
138
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,608
I am nervous.
139
00:05:04,697 --> 00:05:06,884
Don't be! It's exciting!
140
00:05:06,999 --> 00:05:09,665
Well, he's off to
a great start-- 20 minutes late.
141
00:05:09,789 --> 00:05:11,312
Classic deadbeat dad move.
142
00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:12,292
Right now he's probably
143
00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:14,439
in the engine room
of a riverboat casino,
144
00:05:14,561 --> 00:05:16,530
just begging
for his thumbs back.
145
00:05:16,635 --> 00:05:17,742
Penny?
146
00:05:18,743 --> 00:05:20,691
Hi, Roy. Oh.
147
00:05:20,817 --> 00:05:22,364
Oh. H-- oh.
148
00:05:22,544 --> 00:05:24,305
- Uh...
- Hey. Hello.
149
00:05:24,402 --> 00:05:25,404
- Okay. Hi.
- Hello.
150
00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,377
Okay.
151
00:05:26,465 --> 00:05:27,612
Roy, this is Jane and Alex.
152
00:05:27,697 --> 00:05:29,223
- Hi!
- 'Sup, trick?
153
00:05:29,374 --> 00:05:30,623
Nice to meet you both.
154
00:05:30,738 --> 00:05:32,627
Listen, Penny,
I'm sorry I'm late.
155
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,810
I wanted to bring you flowers,
156
00:05:33,902 --> 00:05:35,066
but I didn't know
what kind you liked,
157
00:05:35,171 --> 00:05:37,404
so I just took a stab
and I went with peonies.
158
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,959
They're my favorite!
159
00:05:39,113 --> 00:05:41,038
I mean... they're a'ight.
160
00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:43,033
So... what? You're just gonna
give these flowers to Penny,
161
00:05:43,131 --> 00:05:45,442
expect her to raise them
by herself?
162
00:05:45,765 --> 00:05:46,661
Oh, come on, Jane.
163
00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:49,676
Only a dad could guess
his daughter's favorite flowers.
164
00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:52,022
Quick-- what's Penny's
favorite food? Bacon.
165
00:05:52,135 --> 00:05:53,889
- Wait. That's mine.
- Let me guess.
166
00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:56,015
You're the friend that I'm gonna
have to win over,
167
00:05:56,146 --> 00:05:58,839
you're the optimist that
believes in second chances,
168
00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:00,789
and you're Penny, right?
169
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,149
I'm kidding!
170
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,473
I'm-- I'm nervous, and I joke
when I'm nervous, so...
171
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:06,885
- So do I. So do I.
- Yeah.
172
00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:09,093
You know, a Mexican walks
into a spaceship.
173
00:06:09,386 --> 00:06:11,326
I'm sorry.
I get racist when I joke.
174
00:06:11,427 --> 00:06:14,598
And I get hungry when I get
racist. Okay.
175
00:06:14,743 --> 00:06:16,034
Should we sit down and order?
176
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,392
Yeah. Okay.
177
00:06:18,193 --> 00:06:21,218
Okay, you want us to cancel
the rib eye and the top sirloin,
178
00:06:21,371 --> 00:06:24,828
and instead you want a tripe,
ligament, and inner ear meat.
179
00:06:25,004 --> 00:06:25,715
All right.
180
00:06:25,809 --> 00:06:28,094
And there's so such thing
as a prime colon chop, pal.
181
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,518
Ah, for shame.
182
00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:31,116
Are you sure about this?
183
00:06:31,337 --> 00:06:34,267
Us at Rio de Ja-Tasty are
going in a new direction.
184
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,054
All right,
we'll send it out shortly.
185
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,436
Obrigado, my friend.
186
00:06:42,396 --> 00:06:43,458
Uhh!
187
00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:45,840
Sorry, shoulders.
188
00:06:46,244 --> 00:06:47,489
It's okay, cool pants.
189
00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:48,861
I'm Wilson.
190
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,120
Max.
191
00:06:50,447 --> 00:06:52,074
We should hang out sometime.
192
00:06:53,216 --> 00:06:54,536
Ooh!
193
00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:55,824
World-class hang, bro.
194
00:06:57,805 --> 00:06:59,792
So I'm in Studio 54.
195
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:02,218
It's 1981, '82,
something like that,
196
00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:05,307
and Stephen Sondheim looks at me...
197
00:07:05,452 --> 00:07:07,501
and says, "you've got it."
198
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,280
Stephen Joshua Sondheim.
"You've got it."
199
00:07:11,368 --> 00:07:13,968
Of course, then I realized he
was talking about his umbrella.
200
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,141
'Cause we were
by the front door,
201
00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:16,921
and I thought
there was, like, a communal
202
00:07:17,029 --> 00:07:18,648
"give an umbrella,
take an umbrella" thing.
203
00:07:18,747 --> 00:07:22,223
But you know, that was, that was
Broadway in the '80s.
204
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:23,564
- Wow!
- Amazing!
205
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:24,541
Certainly beats
206
00:07:24,642 --> 00:07:26,850
reading a bedtime story
to your newborn daughter.
207
00:07:27,377 --> 00:07:30,287
Okay, look,
I've got no excuse, okay?
208
00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:32,109
I'm so sorry.
209
00:07:32,207 --> 00:07:35,739
But I was young,
and I was chasing a dream.
210
00:07:35,859 --> 00:07:36,763
If it makes you feel better,
211
00:07:36,861 --> 00:07:38,479
the dream didn't work out
either.
212
00:07:38,581 --> 00:07:39,948
Yeah, that does
make me feel better.
213
00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:42,879
So what now, Roy? Hmm?
You here for a handout?
214
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:44,131
Oh, no. No.
215
00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:46,164
Uh, I started a company
a few years ago--
216
00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:47,674
Roy's Hard Mimosas.
217
00:07:47,777 --> 00:07:49,403
We're doing pretty well.
Have you heard of 'em?
218
00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:51,966
Heard of it?
It's the champagne of mimosas!
219
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,034
Really? This is great!
Congratulations!
220
00:07:54,146 --> 00:07:55,899
- Oh, thank you.
- Oh!
221
00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:57,394
Let me propose a toast.
222
00:07:57,527 --> 00:07:58,374
Ah!
223
00:07:58,484 --> 00:07:59,703
Oh, Penny,
224
00:07:59,868 --> 00:08:02,324
I never thought that you'd ever
want to talk to me again,
225
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:03,394
so thank you.
226
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,515
So here's to second chances,
227
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:07,508
and here's to Penny.
Here's to you.
228
00:08:07,597 --> 00:08:08,742
Aw!
Cheers!
229
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:09,921
To Penny.
230
00:08:12,863 --> 00:08:14,698
Hey, is
this thing street-legal?
231
00:08:15,401 --> 00:08:17,577
Sure, but as far as the law
is concerned,
232
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,034
you're a bag of groceries.
233
00:08:19,175 --> 00:08:21,362
So where is your dumb job
anyway?
234
00:08:21,464 --> 00:08:22,576
I work right there.
235
00:08:24,354 --> 00:08:26,896
You mean, those big buildings
behind that steak truck
236
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,416
that happens to be
the rival steak truck
237
00:08:28,496 --> 00:08:30,532
to the steak truck that is owned
by my best friend?
238
00:08:30,659 --> 00:08:32,547
Nope. I work
in that steak truck,
239
00:08:32,631 --> 00:08:34,643
which happens to belong
to my dad.
240
00:08:34,853 --> 00:08:36,449
Damn it, Chad!
241
00:08:36,699 --> 00:08:38,176
You got me in trouble again.
242
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,807
Chad's what I call
my underpants monster.
243
00:08:40,899 --> 00:08:41,925
I believe you two have met.
244
00:08:49,786 --> 00:08:51,394
Dude, this new hockey game
is awesome.
245
00:08:51,494 --> 00:08:52,460
Yeah, it's so realistic,
246
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,142
it won't even let me create
a black player.
247
00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:57,370
Well...
the Brazilian retaliated.
248
00:08:57,463 --> 00:08:59,554
- Was it bad?
- It was creative.
249
00:09:00,255 --> 00:09:02,903
Well, that's a dink
in the doink.
250
00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:04,897
Dave, I told you
not to play dirty.
251
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,471
You have to follow the four
simple principles of business--
252
00:09:07,558 --> 00:09:10,058
strategy, planning,
tactics, and execution.
253
00:09:10,146 --> 00:09:11,830
Or "straplanatajection."
254
00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,722
No, Brad,
we're in the trenches now.
255
00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:14,970
We gotta double down.
256
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:18,507
Max, what do you gots?
Slash his tires? Key his truck?
257
00:09:18,578 --> 00:09:19,591
I'll do you one better.
258
00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:22,142
What say you and I grab
our three dearest possessions
259
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,212
and hitchhike
across the Southwest?
260
00:09:24,306 --> 00:09:25,829
'Cause the truth is,
I slept with Wilson.
261
00:09:25,936 --> 00:09:28,220
Wilson?
The volleyball from "Cast Away"
262
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:30,483
that you stole from
the Houston Planet Hollywood?
263
00:09:30,590 --> 00:09:33,356
No. I slept with Wilson,
the Brazilian's son.
264
00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:36,426
What?! Max!
The Brazilian is my archenemy.
265
00:09:36,745 --> 00:09:38,484
Bros before bros, man!
266
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:39,813
How was I supposed to know
that he'd be the enemy
267
00:09:39,939 --> 00:09:41,437
in your weird meat feud?
268
00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:43,066
Two star-crossed lovers,
269
00:09:43,148 --> 00:09:44,259
both alike in dignity,
270
00:09:44,368 --> 00:09:47,032
in fair Chicago
where we lay our scene.
271
00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:48,221
- What?
- What?
272
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:49,620
Oh, my love
of rational business plans
273
00:09:49,729 --> 00:09:52,404
is clashing with my love
of clandestine love affairs.
274
00:09:52,495 --> 00:09:53,744
It's like Romeo and Juliet.
275
00:09:53,846 --> 00:09:55,922
Nay, Homeo and Dude-liet.
276
00:09:56,021 --> 00:09:58,671
- Ooh, good one.
- They hath made the beast with two butts!
277
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,288
Max, I can't believe
you did that.
278
00:10:00,411 --> 00:10:01,574
Whose team are you on,
279
00:10:01,672 --> 00:10:03,939
mine or the team that put
my truck on its tushy?
280
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,218
Oh, my God.
281
00:10:06,619 --> 00:10:08,480
Love or friendship?
282
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:10,531
This is gettin' too good.
283
00:10:10,628 --> 00:10:12,777
Dave... I'm on your team.
284
00:10:12,865 --> 00:10:14,066
Good, 'cause I need your help.
285
00:10:14,228 --> 00:10:16,025
Now tomorrow's
the cubs' opening day.
286
00:10:16,128 --> 00:10:18,306
I wanna decorate my truck
with ivy and a mini scoreboard,
287
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:19,788
just like at Wrigley Field.
288
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:22,118
But it will only work
if I get my primo spot
289
00:10:22,231 --> 00:10:23,265
in front of the stadium.
290
00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:25,617
And I know the Brazilian's
gonna try to take it.
291
00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:27,976
Dave, relaxi your taxi,
292
00:10:28,124 --> 00:10:29,699
'cause I am gonna
get you that spot
293
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,868
if it's the last thing
that I do...
294
00:10:31,971 --> 00:10:34,258
before getting myself a pizza
and eating it in bed
295
00:10:34,365 --> 00:10:37,409
as a celebratory feast
for getting you that spot.
296
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,923
Team friendship!
297
00:10:41,376 --> 00:10:43,306
Team friendship!
298
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:49,380
- Oh! Suh kyut!- Oh! Suh kyut!
299
00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:52,531
Okay, you have to get
this dress. It's the one!
300
00:10:52,638 --> 00:10:54,268
I know but it is so expensive.
301
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,788
I mean, this will blow
my entire budget.
302
00:10:55,913 --> 00:10:58,075
Hi!
Um, could you bring me
303
00:10:58,153 --> 00:11:00,107
a dress that's
a little more affordable?
304
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:03,349
Like, maybe one from last season
or one somebody died in?
305
00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:04,855
Why? This is your dress.
306
00:11:04,985 --> 00:11:06,754
Oh, I know
it's totally my dress.
307
00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,410
It looks like I was
poured into it, but...
308
00:11:08,497 --> 00:11:09,149
Ooh!
309
00:11:09,231 --> 00:11:10,861
No, you own this dress.
310
00:11:10,964 --> 00:11:12,071
You are owning it!
311
00:11:12,156 --> 00:11:14,318
- She is owning it!
- Rockin' it 360!
312
00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:17,335
Listen, that man bought you
this dress.
313
00:11:17,899 --> 00:11:19,110
Ta-da!
314
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:21,014
Roy? What-- what are you...
315
00:11:21,117 --> 00:11:23,045
Well, you and your friends were
talking about coming here
316
00:11:23,145 --> 00:11:25,678
to try on dresses,
so I called ahead,
317
00:11:25,802 --> 00:11:28,413
and they said you'd been
looking at this one for weeks.
318
00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:30,390
- You bought me this dress?
- Uh-huh.
319
00:11:30,486 --> 00:11:32,761
- I-I can't...
- I wanted to do something nice for you.
320
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,566
You know, since I wasn't there
to teach you how to ride a bike
321
00:11:35,706 --> 00:11:38,900
or... have the S-E-X talk.
322
00:11:39,053 --> 00:11:39,808
Okay, I'm sorry.
323
00:11:39,938 --> 00:11:42,579
I still don't know
how this dad stuff works.
324
00:11:42,804 --> 00:11:45,418
I mean, after all,
I abandoned my only daughter.
325
00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:46,739
We know.
326
00:11:47,447 --> 00:11:48,757
I'm still nervous.
327
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,161
It's okay. Me, too.
328
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:52,255
And luckily, the garbageman
taught me how to ride a bike.
329
00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:54,389
And as for the S-E-X...
330
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,965
I learned how to spell
at a very young age.
331
00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:59,448
Anywho, I'm just--
I'm glad that you're here now.
332
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,869
Me, too.
333
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,129
God, I really love it.
334
00:12:05,968 --> 00:12:07,106
Wow.
335
00:12:07,412 --> 00:12:08,715
It looks perfect.
336
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,976
Roy, I know this sounds fast,
337
00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,570
but would you walk me down the aisle?
338
00:12:16,548 --> 00:12:18,079
Of course I would.
339
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:18,780
Oh!
340
00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:21,497
Oh, my God, I never dreamed
you would ask me that.
341
00:12:21,582 --> 00:12:24,280
Really? Even though
you are wearing a tuxedo.
342
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:26,905
W-well, maybe I'm going
to the theater.
343
00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:28,067
Were you?
344
00:12:28,179 --> 00:12:29,453
No, I'm not.
345
00:12:29,539 --> 00:12:31,519
Oh, gosh!
346
00:12:31,624 --> 00:12:32,729
Aw!
347
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:36,192
You aw'd!
I'm winning you over!
348
00:12:36,282 --> 00:12:40,314
- No, no. See, what that was,
was "why I oughta..." - Oh.
349
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,489
Okay, fine, I'm warming up to you, Roy.
350
00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:55,781
Okay, a little sugar
in the gas tank. No problem.
351
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,227
- Max?
- Huh?
352
00:12:58,141 --> 00:12:59,300
Max, what are you doing here?
353
00:12:59,394 --> 00:13:00,564
Uh... uh, just...
354
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:03,286
taking my nightly
sugar walk with my...
355
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,659
funnel hat.
356
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:07,670
I can't lie to you.
357
00:13:08,446 --> 00:13:11,581
I just-- I came here to sabotage
the truck, but I can't do it.
358
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:14,076
I-I don't care what anybody
says. I wanna be together.
359
00:13:14,791 --> 00:13:16,528
Screw it.
I'm gonna talk to my father
360
00:13:16,609 --> 00:13:19,379
and see if we can't end this
beefy feud once and for all.
361
00:13:19,469 --> 00:13:20,516
Awesome.
362
00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:21,928
So...
363
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:25,368
whilst we wait for that convo
to get on the books,
364
00:13:26,177 --> 00:13:28,589
maybe Chad and I could
come up and hang out?
365
00:13:30,616 --> 00:13:33,134
Oof! These Roy's bad ass bellinis
366
00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:35,670
are... the... taters.
367
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:39,721
I know! I think
I'm a little MC Schlammered.
368
00:13:41,924 --> 00:13:43,369
God, I love that dress!
369
00:13:43,475 --> 00:13:44,455
Mmm!
370
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,740
You guys, you don't think
it was too much, too soon
371
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,419
for Roy to buy it for me,
do you?
372
00:13:48,518 --> 00:13:50,787
No. I mean, I know you were
trying to stay on a budget,
373
00:13:50,878 --> 00:13:52,301
but those other dresses
were garbage.
374
00:13:52,381 --> 00:13:53,406
I mean, one of them was made
375
00:13:53,543 --> 00:13:57,225
from 100% recycled corduroy.
That was very loud.
376
00:13:57,324 --> 00:13:58,960
You're right. You're right!
377
00:14:00,141 --> 00:14:02,190
Oh. That's Roy.
378
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:04,426
- Oh!
- There he is!
379
00:14:04,519 --> 00:14:05,523
- Hi!
- Hey, Roys "R" us!
380
00:14:05,638 --> 00:14:07,415
Ah! Hello, ladies.
381
00:14:07,537 --> 00:14:08,961
Hey, I've got some great news.
382
00:14:09,064 --> 00:14:10,614
I know the GM
of the Drake Hotel.
383
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,659
He and I did summer stock
in Ogunquit, Maine.
384
00:14:13,779 --> 00:14:16,471
I called him and I reserved you
their main ballroom
385
00:14:16,571 --> 00:14:17,884
for your wedding reception.
386
00:14:17,984 --> 00:14:21,408
Aw! Roy, that's so sweet,
but it's outside of our budget.
387
00:14:21,507 --> 00:14:23,557
Well, no, money's no object.
I got it.
388
00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:26,847
Penny, the Drake is the best
place to get married in Chicago.
389
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,652
I mean, Oprah and Stedman have
had it reserved for 17 years.
390
00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:30,638
Okay, slow down.
391
00:14:30,721 --> 00:14:33,294
Pete and I are very happy with
the wedding that we have planned.
392
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:34,619
Speaking of Pete,
393
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:38,208
I called him and I invited him
on a fishing trip.
394
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:39,008
- Oh.
- Seems like
395
00:14:39,126 --> 00:14:41,333
a future father-in-law
kind of thing to do, you know?
396
00:14:41,443 --> 00:14:44,402
Do you think it's too soon
to ask him to call me "dad"?
397
00:14:44,754 --> 00:14:46,685
Yeah, Roy. I do.
398
00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:48,206
I don't even call you "dad"...
399
00:14:48,332 --> 00:14:50,252
because you're not, really.
400
00:14:50,425 --> 00:14:52,208
Look, this is all
just too much.
401
00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:54,570
I don't need you to swoop in
here now and buy me a wedding.
402
00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:57,061
I can do that for myself.
I needed you before,
403
00:14:57,170 --> 00:15:00,264
like when I had to take mom
to the father-daughter dance,
404
00:15:00,389 --> 00:15:03,114
or when that pregnant girl
punched me in the face at prom.
405
00:15:03,259 --> 00:15:05,715
And I know it only seems like
I needed you during dances,
406
00:15:05,802 --> 00:15:08,768
but there were plenty
of other times, too.
407
00:15:09,261 --> 00:15:11,696
I don't know... Roy.
408
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:15,146
Maybe this whole thing
was a mistake.
409
00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:17,929
Well...
410
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,621
I'm sorry
that you feel that way.
411
00:15:21,177 --> 00:15:23,946
Maybe I should just
go back to New York.
412
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,501
Yeah, maybe you should.
413
00:15:35,149 --> 00:15:37,592
Guys, this could be
the bellinis talking,
414
00:15:37,698 --> 00:15:38,941
but let's go to a strip club.
415
00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:41,247
We could check out the local... talent.
416
00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:51,575
Hey, guys. Truck looks good.
417
00:15:51,704 --> 00:15:53,211
Yeah, you know what else
looks good?
418
00:15:53,312 --> 00:15:55,188
The truck that looks great.
419
00:16:05,313 --> 00:16:07,091
The Brazilian stole
Dave's idea.
420
00:16:07,188 --> 00:16:07,721
I don't know.
421
00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:09,067
I mean, people develop
the same idea all the time
422
00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:12,311
- without two guys having sex
with each other. - What?
423
00:16:12,484 --> 00:16:15,394
Look, I saw Wilson last night,
and I gave up the goods.
424
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:16,738
And I told him about your idea.
425
00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:18,667
Max! You're unbelievable!
426
00:16:18,765 --> 00:16:21,202
Young Max hath
wronged his kinsman David,
427
00:16:21,341 --> 00:16:23,433
yet I celebrate
his forbidden love.
428
00:16:23,531 --> 00:16:24,810
Enough with this craziness.
429
00:16:24,931 --> 00:16:26,800
You know the one thing
we haven't tried yet?
430
00:16:26,891 --> 00:16:30,540
- Bees. Smart. - No, Max,
talking. All right? I'm an adult.
431
00:16:30,635 --> 00:16:32,713
I'm gonna make the guy
a sandwich and go talk to him.
432
00:16:32,803 --> 00:16:34,054
Dave, I'm sorry!
433
00:16:34,183 --> 00:16:36,186
I-I thought
I could trust him!
434
00:16:37,075 --> 00:16:39,730
- God, I-I really wanna help out...
- I know.
435
00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:41,549
...but I also
really wanna Samba.
436
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,926
I know.
437
00:16:45,978 --> 00:16:47,170
I get it.
438
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,053
Hello, the Brazilian.
439
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:55,468
Hello, the American.
440
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,874
I made you this sandwich
as a peace offering.
441
00:16:58,323 --> 00:16:59,346
We gotta end this madness.
442
00:16:59,428 --> 00:17:01,880
We must figure out a way
to share Wrigleyville.
443
00:17:02,007 --> 00:17:03,191
You're right.
444
00:17:03,508 --> 00:17:04,884
Come back after closing.
445
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,958
We'll talk it out
over a cafe con leche.
446
00:17:09,407 --> 00:17:10,698
Okay.
447
00:17:11,241 --> 00:17:12,220
Cafe con leche.
448
00:17:12,307 --> 00:17:13,993
- Sim.
- Okay.
449
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,410
Nailed it, David.
450
00:17:20,988 --> 00:17:22,091
Really?
451
00:17:23,552 --> 00:17:24,520
Ooh!
452
00:17:30,862 --> 00:17:31,789
Aah!
453
00:17:34,476 --> 00:17:35,991
Aah!
454
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,302
Yes!
Oh!
455
00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:41,549
- Yeah!
- Aah!
456
00:17:42,591 --> 00:17:43,317
Aah!
457
00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:44,885
Wah!
458
00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:53,422
Get a shirt!
459
00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:54,807
Aah!
460
00:17:57,924 --> 00:18:00,926
Oh!
461
00:18:03,377 --> 00:18:04,810
Aah!
462
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,251
No!
463
00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:34,449
Roy?
464
00:18:34,611 --> 00:18:35,767
Are you okay?
465
00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:37,560
Oh!
Oh, of course I am.
466
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,233
Yeah. No, it-- it was
just a tomato.
467
00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:41,098
It-- no pain at all.
468
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:42,597
...Brazilian!
469
00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:46,042
It's you!
470
00:18:46,162 --> 00:18:48,061
You betrayed me!
You stole Dave's idea!
471
00:18:48,141 --> 00:18:50,232
I'm sorry! My father invoked
"dads before lads"!
472
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:51,801
I couldn't argue with that.
473
00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:53,807
For what it's worth,
I really liked you.
474
00:18:53,948 --> 00:18:55,186
I really liked you, too.
475
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,749
Yeah?
476
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,730
It is clear my son loves
your son.
477
00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:14,693
Yeah.
478
00:19:14,799 --> 00:19:15,969
Wait. What?
479
00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:19,025
We must find a way
to work in peace, Dan.
480
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,382
It's Dave.
481
00:19:20,497 --> 00:19:22,657
I work pretty hard
not to look like a "Dan."
482
00:19:23,277 --> 00:19:24,531
Respect.
483
00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:26,921
Behold...
484
00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:30,228
'twas love betwixt two men
that quelled the dogs of war.
485
00:19:30,314 --> 00:19:31,453
All right, Brad.
486
00:19:31,745 --> 00:19:33,095
We all went to high school.
487
00:19:33,652 --> 00:19:35,202
This is...
488
00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:36,934
Oh, wait. Hold on.
489
00:19:37,086 --> 00:19:37,950
What is...
490
00:19:38,035 --> 00:19:39,576
You got
a little cauliflower ear.
491
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:45,236
So you were actually kind of
there for me when I needed you.
492
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:46,607
That was nice.
493
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,558
Yeah. Um, listen, Penny,
494
00:19:49,138 --> 00:19:50,862
there aren't enough "I'm sorrys"
in the world
495
00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:52,791
to make up
for what I did to you.
496
00:19:52,894 --> 00:19:54,075
I was...
497
00:19:54,204 --> 00:19:58,158
young and selfish
and-- and so... stupid.
498
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,567
And then I thought I found a way
I could fix things,
499
00:20:00,673 --> 00:20:03,190
and I guess I just went
too fast, is all.
500
00:20:03,282 --> 00:20:05,699
Oh, trust me, I get
too fast too soon.
501
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:08,381
The first day of college,
I gained 15 pounds.
502
00:20:09,801 --> 00:20:12,279
Well, anyway, I was on my way
to the airport,
503
00:20:12,386 --> 00:20:14,184
and I wanted to give you
something.
504
00:20:14,293 --> 00:20:16,461
So I called Jane,
and she told me where you were,
505
00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:18,468
and I-I wanted to
give you this.
506
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,008
It's the bracelet they put
on you at the hospital
507
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:23,596
the day you were born.
508
00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:25,181
I thought you might want it
for the wedding.
509
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:27,462
You know, it could be
your "something old."
510
00:20:27,563 --> 00:20:28,942
Well...
it's the same age as me,
511
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:29,975
so calm down.
512
00:20:30,048 --> 00:20:31,168
But...
513
00:20:31,253 --> 00:20:33,038
this is really sweet.
514
00:20:33,843 --> 00:20:34,915
Thank you.
515
00:20:35,023 --> 00:20:36,335
Well, I'm off.
516
00:20:36,419 --> 00:20:39,922
Uh, you ever wanna talk,
you just give Old Roy a call.
517
00:20:40,017 --> 00:20:41,060
I will.
518
00:20:41,288 --> 00:20:43,948
Or... we could talk
at the wedding.
519
00:20:44,951 --> 00:20:46,423
I mean,
I-I don't think I'm ready
520
00:20:46,527 --> 00:20:48,709
to have you walk me down
the aisle, but...
521
00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:51,531
but I definitely
want you to be there...
522
00:20:52,415 --> 00:20:53,823
dad.
523
00:20:54,426 --> 00:20:55,523
Oh, wow.
524
00:20:55,606 --> 00:20:56,718
"Dad."
525
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,414
That's pretty heavy.
526
00:20:59,022 --> 00:20:59,787
Maybe it'd be better
527
00:20:59,879 --> 00:21:02,114
if we didn't talk
for another 30 years.
528
00:21:02,753 --> 00:21:03,639
I'm kidding.
529
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:05,593
I'm kidding 'cause I'm nervous.
530
00:21:06,156 --> 00:21:07,730
But I'm so happy.
531
00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:08,846
Me, too.
532
00:21:13,027 --> 00:21:15,655
Hey, you know,
I never really asked you,
533
00:21:15,772 --> 00:21:17,250
and mom never really
mentioned it,
534
00:21:17,336 --> 00:21:19,446
but why didn't you guys
work out?
535
00:21:19,523 --> 00:21:22,485
Oh. I'm super gay.
536
00:21:22,579 --> 00:21:25,558
And that explains
almost everything about me.
537
00:21:26,543 --> 00:21:29,107
You know, you're
the first person I've told.
538
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:30,563
- What?
- No, I'm kidding!
539
00:21:30,661 --> 00:21:32,078
You're the last person to know!
540
00:21:32,181 --> 00:21:33,726
Everybody knows it!
541
00:21:33,808 --> 00:21:34,893
- I mean, come on.
- Whoo!
542
00:21:34,992 --> 00:21:37,485
I mean, hello!
I'm the guy selling mimosas!
543
00:21:37,602 --> 00:21:40,343
I know! I know!
I know! I know!
544
00:21:41,393 --> 00:21:45,463
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
545
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:50,063
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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