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(MAN HUMS)
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Oh!
4
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Uhh!
(HUMS)
5
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,933
Whoa! Ugh!
6
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- Ooh!
- (TYPEWRITER BELL RINGS)
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(SWANS TWEET)
8
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(GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)
9
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Stop!
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(COW MOOS)
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Don't eat that!
It's cow poo! Yuck!
12
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Put this down!
13
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What were you doing?
You were eating cow poo!
14
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Come on. Let's get you home.
15
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Got to get you clean.
Come on.
16
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(CHILDREN BABBLE)
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Let's get you in the bath.
Get you all clean.
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Sorry, Steve, I'll milk you later.
19
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- BOY: Hi, Steve!
- (STEVE BLEATS)
20
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WOMAN: Come on.
21
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You're so handsome.
You're so handsome!
22
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MAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hey. It's me.
23
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I can't wait to see you and the boys.
24
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I can't believe it's been
six weeks. Love you. 'Bye.
25
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,499
WOMAN: Jimmy. I can't believe
I missed your call.
26
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,259
It must have been while I was
wiping cow poo off our sons.
27
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What time is the boat due in?
28
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- I'm dying to see you.
- (BEEP!)
29
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JIMMY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hello! You're still not there.
30
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You haven't moved back to London on me, have you?
31
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Potty now!
32
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,351
Now? Alright.
33
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,979
Wow, really? Oh! Hang on.
34
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,648
Where'd you get Mummy's earplugs?
35
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(CHILD ensues)
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BOTH: Eeeee...
37
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,247
WOMAN: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
38
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- Eeeee...
- Mummy! Mummy!
39
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Yay, me, me!
40
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,454
Sorry, Zack, just let Fred finish.
41
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(SINGS)
♪ 'Cause if he doesn't drop his load
42
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,384
♪ Fred is going to explode! ♪
43
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,760
- Eeee...
- Finished!
44
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,466
All done? Come on, then.
45
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,552
Whee! Oh.
46
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- No poo.
- All gone.
47
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,016
Zack, no!
48
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,230
- (GIGGLES)
- Oh! Zack.
49
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,236
I need those.
50
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,399
- 'Cause who's coming home today?
- BOYS: Daddy!
51
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,738
(BOYS SING)
♪ Daddy boat, Daddy boat, Daddy boat
52
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,323
♪ Daddy boat, Daddy boat, Daddy boat... ♪
53
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(BEEP!)
54
00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,573
JIMMY ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hey. It's me.
55
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,084
There's a north wind trying to
blow us back to the Antarctic,
56
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,961
but I promise I'll be home
for dinner - can't wait.
57
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,215
- Boat!
- That's like Daddy's boat.
58
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,005
- Boat!
- We don't need this boat.
59
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,516
Because Daddy's coming home on his great big boat.
60
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,893
We hope.
61
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:23,772
- Boat!
- I said no.
62
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,682
Come on! Come on!
63
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:29,319
- Boat! Boat!
- Boat!
64
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(BOTH SCREAM) Boat!
65
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Boat! Boat!
Boat! Boat! Boat!
66
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:39,700
(BOYS CONTINUE SCREAMING)
67
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(WOMAN SINGS)
♪ When moon shines
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00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:02,011
♪ Its light on the sea
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00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:07,604
♪ Its golden path glistens
70
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:13,273
♪ The waves call and listen
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00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:20,162
♪ To children who sleep finally
72
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:26,327
♪ The night birds before us
73
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♪ Sing softly in chorus
74
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:38,510
♪ And I clearly see... ♪
75
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(GLASS DROPS)
76
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,565
(PLAYS BLUES RIFF)
77
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♪ I need a tantrum of my own
78
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:55,026
♪ Don't wanna raise these kids alone
79
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♪ I'm sick of being tough
80
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,445
♪ I feel I've had enough
81
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:02,112
♪ I need a tantrum of my own
82
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,873
♪ Waaaahhh!
83
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,160
♪ Waaaahhh
84
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♪ Aaahh
85
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,543
♪ Aaahhhhh
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00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,211
A' Ah ha. A'
87
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,221
Ah. Uh...
88
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,350
(NOTES PLAY)
89
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,476
Hey, crazy girl.
90
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,763
- Sorry I'm so late.
- Oh!
91
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,480
(BOTH sl<3l-l)
92
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,364
- Been a big day, has it?
- Oh, baby.
93
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,322
You don't know the half of it.
94
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,453
(SNIFFS) I love your smell.
95
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:51,041
- You have the best smell.
- Thanks.
96
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,955
- Wanna go to bed?
- Yeah.
97
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,921
(BOTH LAUGH)
98
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,775
- Jimmy.
- (SIGHS)
99
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,361
El...
100
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,863
Doesn't matter.
101
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:40,837
And now, Elspeth Dickens,
102
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,596
mother of twins...
103
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...executes a triple half pike
with a twist of lemon.
104
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,445
(SNORES SOFTLY)
105
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,919
Baby?
106
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,586
Baby?
107
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,693
(ROOSTER CROWS)
108
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,631
- BOY: Mama! Mama!
- Oh! Hold that thought.
109
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:18,646
OK. You sit there,
you sit there. Alright. OK.
110
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,566
- BOY: Come on, Dad!
- ELSPETH: Give it a kick!
111
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,570
(WIGGLES SING) ♪ Doo-doo... ♪
112
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,611
- BOTH: Yeah!
- Yes!
113
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,496
♪ Let's all do the shimmie shake
114
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,749
♪ Shake it on way down low
115
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,752
- ♪ Shake it on high... ♪
- (ELSPETH GIGGLES)
116
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,539
We got about three minutes till they're back in here.
117
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Ah! That's stacks of time!
118
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,465
(GIGGLES)
119
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Peekaboo!
120
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,343
(BOYS SHOUT HAPPILY)
121
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- Lads.
- Hi.
122
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,807
Hi.
123
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,317
(BOYS SQUEAL)
124
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,444
Who wants to make breakfast in bed for Mama?
125
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,105
- BOTH: Me!
- Hey! Come on.
126
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,694
- (SNORES)
- (GLASS SMASHES)
127
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,406
Huh?
128
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,745
- I'm on it, I'm on it.
- The stove.
129
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,284
- What? What?
- It's on.
130
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,418
- Careful, you'll step on the...
- Get them off the counter.
131
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,705
You put them next to a burning stove!
132
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,373
What did you want me to do?
133
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,383
Put them on the floor with the broken glass?
134
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,544
- Can you pass me a paper towel?
- Where are they?
135
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,132
In the drawer, where they always are.
136
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,592
TWINS: Mama's foot.
137
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,008
Yes, bubba, Mama got some glass in it.
138
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,142
- Can I help?
- No.
139
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,271
- You've done enough.
- El, don't do this.
140
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,352
Maybe Dad'll take Fred and Zack to feed the chooks
141
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:41,812
while Mama cleans up in here.
142
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,605
- I can clean.
- No, Mama will do it.
143
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,317
- What are we doing?
- It's OK.
144
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,909
We'll go feed the chooks.
Daddy will be there in a second.
145
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,914
- JIMMY: What's going on?
- Nothing.
146
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,589
You go away, you come back.
147
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,466
You vanish into the Antarctic for weeks at a time
148
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,002
and I can't contact you.
149
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,341
That's the job.
150
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,881
Why don't I go record the sounds of the whales?
151
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,674
You stay here and do my job.
152
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,224
Do you ever think about what it's like
153
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,059
for me to be stuck here?
154
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,440
- No friends, no family.
- I know.
155
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,398
I know it wasn't much of a career,
but I miss doing my gigs.
156
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,937
- I know.
- Singing my little songs.
157
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,150
- I know!
- You don't!
158
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,273
Don't say you know when you don't know.
159
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:35,237
You have your whales and your work.
160
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,077
I've got one little boy who won't take his wings off
161
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,162
and another who refuses to defecate.
162
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,453
(CHUCKLES)
163
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,463
It's not forever.
164
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,091
- Remember the deal?
- Yeah, I remember.
165
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,796
Your deal.
The deal you proposed to me.
166
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,927
You look after the kids till they start school,
167
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,508
then it's my turn.
168
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,969
They won't go to school for another 8 billion years.
169
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,385
You said you wanted to support me
doing something important.
170
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,098
And I do.
171
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,231
You said you were sick of
singing to drunks in London pubs.
172
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,393
You wanted this. You loved
the idea of coming here.
173
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,436
Look around you.
It's beautiful.
174
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,776
- Can you go check on the kids?
- (BOYS SCREAM)
175
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,075
El, the whales are here,
176
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,986
and unless they start swimming up the Thames...
177
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,996
You can't leave 'em alone in
the chicken coop. It'll be chaos.
178
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,208
Steven. Please don't eat
my succulents.
179
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,589
I'm gonna take the boys into town.
180
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,508
Give you a break for the day.
181
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,929
Thanks.
182
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,643
James?
183
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,694
Sorry.
184
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,989
JAMES: Come on, lads!
185
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,745
(DOOR CREAKS)
186
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,674
TV: In its hunt for
the dwindling whale population,
187
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,714
the commercial whaling fleet is heading
188
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,848
to the Australian Antarctic territory...
189
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:23,808
- They're out.
- Thanks.
190
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,392
Really, thank you.
191
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,022
TV: These ships have entered
the sanctuary...
192
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,475
You know about this?
193
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,018
However, there is no practical mechanism
194
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,777
for the government to enforce that law,
195
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,735
leaving the whales vulnerable to slaughter.
196
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:38,902
The Minister for the Environment
regrets the situation, but...
197
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,662
They called earlier.
198
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,698
Are there protest boats?
199
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,170
(SWANS)
200
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,333
You're going with them, aren't you?
201
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,753
(HELICOPTER WHIRRS)
202
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,304
(GOAT BLEATS)
203
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,820
Oh. I almost forgot.
204
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:23,530
So we can see each other
while I'm away. It's a web-cam.
205
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,950
PILOT: Better hurry up.
The ship's about to leave.
206
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,118
Jimmy, don't be too brave, OK?
207
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,000
James?
208
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,252
Jimmy?
209
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,554
Jimmy?
210
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,304
I'm here.
211
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,401
ELSPETH: Hi. Yes.
212
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,564
I'm just trying to work out
whether I'm doing something wrong
213
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:42,575
or the ship is actually out of contact.
214
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,110
Oh, I see.
215
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,201
Well...
I'll keep trying anyway.
216
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,539
Jimmy.
217
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,046
Jimmy?
218
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,175
I'm here!
219
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:08,805
I am here.
220
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,988
Zack! Fred! Nap time!
221
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,111
(HUMS)
222
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,383
Right.
223
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,934
Set up streaming in a few minutes.
224
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,220
Start building your audience.
225
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,774
Bollocks.
226
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,705
Oh, my God! I'm on!
227
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,251
(GIGGLES) I'm on!
228
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,132
(BOTTLES CLINK)
229
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,671
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink
230
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,848
♪ This is where I stop and think
231
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,514
♪ Where I'm sometimes on the brink
232
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,764
♪ Of madness
233
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,977
♪ Welcome to my washing-up
234
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:43,521
♪ My 40,000th coffee cup
235
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,775
♪ A place that knows my every sulk
236
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:50,445
♪ And sadness
237
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,204
♪ Here I'm stuck night after night
238
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,865
♪ Here I plot revenge and flight
239
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:58,878
♪ Here's the scene of wifely compromise
240
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,131
♪ Pine O Cleen and Lemon Gleam
241
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:05,544
♪ The kitchen sink is where I dream
242
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:12,685
♪ And where I fantastic. ♪
243
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,683
Hello.
244
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,314
My husband gave me this web-cam
245
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,440
so that I could communicate with him,
246
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,273
but he's not there.
247
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,858
So I've decided to talk to you instead.
248
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,991
Well, sing, actually.
249
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,493
Hang on.
I'll go see if you're there.
250
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,123
(SIGHS) You're not there.
251
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,209
I'm talking to myself again.
252
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,214
(BOYS CALL OUT)
253
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,299
WOMAN: He was standing
in front of me
254
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,843
with this deadly serious face
255
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,761
and he absolutely looked like his father.
256
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,939
So I said to him in my best serious mother voice,
257
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:04,022
"Well, darling, that's because
Sophie doesn't have testicles!"
258
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,732
ELSPETH: Sorry! My ball.
259
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,275
- So, what did he say?
- I dropped my ball.
260
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,579
Sorry, finish your story.
261
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,116
Um, and he said,
262
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,829
"But why doesn't Sophie have testicles, Mummy?
263
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,539
"Did they fall off?"
264
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,546
(ALL LAUGH)
265
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,833
(LAUGHS ALONE)
266
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,173
Did you need something?
267
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,804
Um...
268
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,635
Mind if I join you?
269
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,176
WOMEN: Uh...
270
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,729
- Um, yeah, sure.
- Sit down.
271
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,310
Look, I'm new here,
272
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:45,898
and to be perfectly honest, I'm going a bit loopy.
273
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,859
It's not as wonderful as everyone makes out, is it?
274
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,398
Being a mother.
275
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,941
Sometimes you just want to slap 'em
276
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,610
into the middle of next week, don't you?
277
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:57,076
You have something on your top.
I think it's banana.
278
00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:00,082
- I would never hit my children.
- No, no...
279
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,164
No, you idiot.
She didn't mean literally.
280
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:04,203
You know, I bought bananas at the organic market.
281
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,747
They're not cheap.
282
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,290
But they're good for the planet
283
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,833
and they're not gonna give you cancer.
284
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,999
Have you heard about putting
plastic bottles in your freezer?
285
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,883
Apparently, you get instant cancer.
286
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,888
- Are these antibacterial?
- Yeah, of course.
287
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,924
Otherwise, you're just transferring the germs.
288
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:19,435
Um, was that you the other day at the supermarket?
289
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:24,474
- With the twins.
- No. I don't think so.
290
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,190
Oh! Oh, those kids
were out of control!
291
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,196
- Out of control.
- Out of control. -Out of control.
292
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,249
(WOMEN SING)
♪ Do you let them watch TV
293
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,785
♪ And feed them chips and cake for tea?
294
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:48,252
♪ Or do you give them salad for supper?
295
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,508
♪ Once a week, I serve 'em pizza
296
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,293
♪ From the freezer frozen treats
297
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:55,839
♪ I'm a bad, bad mother
298
00:20:56,005 --> 00:21:00,681
♪ Mama walks the shores of Devon
299
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,311
♪ My shoe size is five
300
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,598
♪ And she wears seven
301
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:08,439
♪ I'm just a lonely cowgirl with the blues
302
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:13,198
♪ With an aching need to fill my mama's shoes
303
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,112
WOMEN: ♪ Do they play
the violin yet?
304
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,406
♪ Do they run the minute mile yet?
305
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,995
♪ Are they much more gifted than the others?
306
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,080
♪ Whoo!
307
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,290
I They just like to play the fool
308
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,205
♪ And run around in a circle
309
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:32,500
♪ I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad mother
310
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:37,464
I Do your babies read and write?
311
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:41,635
♪ Do they sleep sound at night?
312
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,146
♪ Do they play in the fresh air?
313
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:50,105
♪ And if they don't,
do you really care? ♪
314
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,644
(BABIES CRY)
315
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,530
- ♪ Whoo!
- ♪ Aaaah!
316
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,611
♪ Whoo-hoo!
317
00:21:56,774 --> 00:22:00,278
- ♪ Whoo-hoo!
- ♪ Whoo!
318
00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:06,034
♪ Whoo-hoo!
319
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:17,929
♪ My mama walks the hills of heaven
320
00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,761
♪ My shoe size is five
321
00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:23,972
♪ And she wore seven
322
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:27,729
♪ I'm just a lonely cowgirl
323
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:31,108
- ♪ With the blues
- ♪ Mama's shoes
324
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,611
♪ With an aching need
325
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:37,899
♪ To fill my mama's
326
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,665
♪ Shoes
327
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:50,954
♪ Oh, mama's shoes
328
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:51,996
♪ Whoo!
329
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:55,416
- ♪ Hey-hey, hey-hey
- ♪ Hills of heaven
330
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:59,554
- I Hoo-hoo-hoo
- ♪ Hills of heaven... ♪
331
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,764
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
332
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,973
Oh, I feel much better now
that I've shared that with you.
333
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,810
I'd feel even better if I knew you were watching.
334
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:11,690
So please log on.
335
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,522
Let me know what you think.
336
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,919
(RINGS BICYCLE BELL)
337
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:39,085
- (BOYS SQUEAL)
- ELSPETH: Oh! Hang on!
338
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:43,464
- Hi.
- Hi.
339
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,133
I'm Neil.
340
00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:47,843
I'm Neil from CCI.
341
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,854
Computer Care International.
342
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:53,232
Oh, I thought you worked at the supermarket.
343
00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:55,438
I do.
344
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,275
Right. Well, come on in.
345
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,740
Uh, you need some keywords for the search engines
346
00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:06,870
so people can find you.
347
00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:11,125
Like 'singer' or, you know, 'singing songs'.
348
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:14,082
- Ooh! 'Sink songs'.
- 'Sing songs'?
349
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,667
No, 'sink songs'.
350
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:20,175
Oh, I get it. 'Sink songs'.
351
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:22,678
- Mmm.
- Oh, OK. Yeah.
352
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:27,091
- Anything else?
- (BOYS GIGGLE AND SCREAM)
353
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:35,350
(BOYS CLANG POTS)
354
00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:43,448
Um, other keywords.
355
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:45,735
'Desperate housewife'.
356
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:49,326
'Songs from kitchen'.
357
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:52,492
'Domestic prisoner's musical breakout'.
358
00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:54,581
I don't know, Neil.
Any suggestions?
359
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:57,087
No, no, no, no,
th-that's great, yeah.
360
00:24:57,246 --> 00:25:00,671
Uh, um... You can have,
like, a ring tone thing too.
361
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,426
For what?
362
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,882
To let you know when people are logging on.
363
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:07,389
So each time someone logs on, you hear...
364
00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,016
(DUCK QUACKS)
365
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,551
Quack-quack.
366
00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:13,892
- (HORSE NEIGHS)
- Neigh!
367
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:17,558
But there's a lot to choose from.
368
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:20,649
- (PIG OINKS)
- Or you could make your own.
369
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,984
Oh, I think animal sounds are brilliant.
370
00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:26,526
I've got your cam stream now linked up with YouTube
371
00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,365
and Facebook and MySpace.
372
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,495
That's great. That's wonderful.
373
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:35,581
- How much do I owe you?
- No, no. Nothing. It's...
374
00:25:35,743 --> 00:25:37,837
It's free for you.
375
00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:40,464
Uh, I mean, there's a special on.
376
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:43,045
- F-first visit is free.
- Oh.
377
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,585
No charge.
378
00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:46,129
What about Computer Care International?
379
00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,842
Won't they be cross?
380
00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:52,727
Oh, um... They are me.
I am it. I am...
381
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,515
- (ANIMAL NOISES PLAY)
- ..Computer Care International.
382
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,809
(SOFTLY) Careful, darling.
383
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:05,319
- (CRIES)
- Oh, darling. Come here.
384
00:26:05,481 --> 00:26:07,984
Come here.
385
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:12,037
Shh, shh, shh.
386
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,198
(SINGS)
♪ If you didn't do what you wanted to
387
00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:17,959
♪ If you only did what everybody told you
388
00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,337
♪ Who would you be?
389
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:24,382
♪ You will always try
♪ You will always fly
390
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:27,715
♪ You will always look a tiger in the eye
391
00:26:27,878 --> 00:26:31,348
♪ Take it from me
392
00:26:31,507 --> 00:26:33,930
I I see in your eyes
393
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:36,471
♪ There's a movie of dreams
394
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:39,481
♪ See there is more to you
395
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,768
♪ Than it first seems
396
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:44,028
♪ See you are brighter
397
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:46,814
♪ Than all the moonbeams
398
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:49,153
♪ You know
399
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:55,699
♪ For you light up the darkness
♪ You glow
400
00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:59,744
I Don't give up Don't give in
401
00:26:59,910 --> 00:27:03,540
♪ Don't let go. ♪
402
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:09,178
(HORSE NEIGHS)
403
00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:18,141
(DUCK QUACKS)
404
00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:24,147
(COW MOOS)
405
00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:26,937
(ROOSTER CROWS)
406
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,576
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink
407
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,500
♪ This is where I stop and think
408
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:44,084
♪ Where I'm sometimes on the brink
409
00:27:44,246 --> 00:27:46,795
♪ Of madness... ♪
410
00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:50,086
(ANIMAL NOISES PLAY)
411
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,293
- What is that?
- A mate sent me the link.
412
00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:24,453
It's supposed to be some girl down in Tasmania.
413
00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:26,793
WOMAN: On a platter!
414
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:29,504
- Here it comes.
- Cross as a frog in a sock.
415
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,885
If we don't find a goddess by Friday,
416
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:33,796
they're going to pull the account.
417
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:41,144
And if they pull the account, we'll be letting people go.
418
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:49,028
(HUMS CHEERFULLY)
419
00:28:57,027 --> 00:29:00,327
Thanks for waiting.
I was just putting my boys down.
420
00:29:00,489 --> 00:29:03,163
You know, staying at home with the kids can be great.
421
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,202
Really special.
422
00:29:05,369 --> 00:29:07,622
Not that I'd ever take any of it back.
423
00:29:07,788 --> 00:29:10,086
But do you ever wonder
424
00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:12,297
what other lives you might have lived?
425
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:17,932
Do you ever suddenly have the urge to be someone else?
426
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,218
Do you ever think...
427
00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:22,603
(SINGS) ♪ I have an itch
428
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:28,275
♪ To be a corporate bitch
429
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:32,233
♪ In a suit with stockings and high, high heels
430
00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:35,741
♪ On my long, long legs
431
00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:38,698
I You know I'd hire
432
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:44,621
♪ Then again, I'd also fire
433
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:48,333
♪ Anyone who under performs
434
00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:50,714
♪ Or was plainly the dregs
435
00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:54,802
♪ I'd jog into work at six
436
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,712
♪ 'Cause that's how I'd get my kicks
437
00:29:56,878 --> 00:30:00,724
♪ Macchiato in my suite
♪ 'Cause I take my coffee neat
438
00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:04,682
♪ The only boys I would employ
would be hunky, hot and toy
439
00:30:04,845 --> 00:30:10,523
♪ So that I can just harass their tight little arses
440
00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:14,985
♪ I wanna be a mover, a shaker
441
00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:18,492
♪ A fashionista ballbreaker
442
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:22,780
♪ I wanna be a CEO queen
443
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:25,495
♪ I wanna rock the private investment scene
444
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,080
♪ So that their deal
445
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:32,089
♪ Would need my corporate bitch seal
446
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:41,049
♪ I have an itch to be a rich kitsch bitch
447
00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:44,559
♪ Manicure and massage à la plage
448
00:30:44,718 --> 00:30:48,313
♪ Followed by
a painless Brazilian... ♪
449
00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:50,270
It's that girl from the park!
450
00:30:50,432 --> 00:30:53,936
♪ Andy Warhol on my wall tells me I could have it all
451
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:57,151
♪ I would like to bankrupt you
and still have a kid or two
452
00:30:57,314 --> 00:31:01,865
♪ I'd take a week from work so that I could carry them
453
00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:04,951
♪ And if they didn't arrive on time
454
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:07,707
I It's a caesarean
455
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:11,916
♪ I wanna be a mover, a shaker
456
00:31:12,079 --> 00:31:15,629
♪ A fashionista ballbreaker
457
00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:19,341
♪ I wanna be a CEO queen
458
00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:22,177
♪ I wanna rock the scene
459
00:31:22,339 --> 00:31:24,512
♪ The paparazzi will take pictures
460
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:28,353
♪ Of my dynasty of bitches
461
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,399
I I have an itch
462
00:31:34,518 --> 00:31:37,067
♪ To be ruthless in my pitch
463
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:41,905
♪ To be a system-bucking
eyebrow-plucking
464
00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:44,240
♪ Tantrum-chucking
corporate bitch! ♪
465
00:31:54,663 --> 00:31:56,210
Cassandra?
466
00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:04,090
Sure.
467
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,133
No problem.
468
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:08,764
'Bye.
469
00:32:12,556 --> 00:32:14,900
(SCREAMS IN DELIGHT)
470
00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:23,283
BOTH'. Yaw!
471
00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:29,411
CASSANDRA:
It's a computer, a laptop,
472
00:32:29,573 --> 00:32:31,667
pitched specifically at the female market,
473
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:35,295
and I need someone
who embodies today's woman -
474
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:38,628
mother, lover, artist,
475
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,417
corporate bitch.
476
00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:42,712
We want to see all these facets.
477
00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:46,849
And I have flown all the way down from Sydney today
478
00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:50,136
because I think you'd be perfect.
479
00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:54,227
We want to use all your songs, the whole web cam thing.
480
00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:57,480
Naughty!
481
00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:01,067
- Zack!
- (SQUEALS, GIGGLES)
482
00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:02,861
No!
483
00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,824
- (TOILET FLUSHES)
- Yeah!
484
00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:21,042
Um... Was it
a very expensive phone?
485
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:22,300
Oh...!
486
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:36,022
He's out of contact.
487
00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:39,151
I don't know when he'll be
in contact, so I had to say no.
488
00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:42,529
I think he'd want you to take this opportunity, Elspeth.
489
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:46,237
If we were part... partners,
490
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:48,322
I know I would.
491
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:51,614
I think you should call that lady back and say yes.
492
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:54,499
Oh, Neil, that's so sweet.
493
00:33:54,658 --> 00:33:59,505
But even practically speaking,
what do I do with the kids, eh?
494
00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:02,792
What do I do with you two for three days?
495
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:04,631
Well, I trained as a paediatric nurse,
496
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:07,592
but quite frankly, I just think the most important thing
497
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:10,257
is that I click with the litlies.
498
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:12,721
- BOYS: Click!
- Click!
499
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,306
(SEAT BELT CLICKS)
500
00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:25,151
TV: In breaking news,
heartless career woman
501
00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:28,988
abandons helpless twins in pursuit of fame and fortune.
502
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:32,780
Nakedly ambitious singer realises error of ways
503
00:34:32,946 --> 00:34:35,495
as plane plummets into Pacific.
504
00:34:35,657 --> 00:34:38,877
Environmentally friendly husband marries marine mammal
505
00:34:39,035 --> 00:34:42,960
and selfish, selfish woman gets what she deserves.
506
00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:45,217
(DOLPHIN CHITTERS)
507
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:46,672
Coffee?
508
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:50,009
- Uh-uh-uh.
- Mm-hm! Hmm.
509
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:15,701
- Ahhhh!
- Ohhh!
510
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:20,791
You clear off! The police
are on their way! Clear off!
511
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:24,047
My... my husband's inside,
and... and he's got a gun!
512
00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:26,549
Who the hell are you?
Where's Elspeth?
513
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,202
MAN: Welcome to
Hotel Sydney, ma'am.
514
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:03,916
Thank you.
515
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:07,590
Whoop... Whoops.
(GIGGLES)
516
00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:10,919
Watch where you're going, lady!
517
00:36:11,086 --> 00:36:12,633
Hang on a second.
518
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,800
Round again. Hello!
519
00:36:22,138 --> 00:36:25,108
'Elspeth! A . h, .d - Oh! g ay'
520
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,190
- Um, I'm Ralph.
- Hi. I'm Elspeth.
521
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:30,526
Hi.
522
00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:32,612
- These are for you.
- Oh, thank you.
523
00:36:32,774 --> 00:36:34,321
- Oh.
- Oh.
524
00:36:38,154 --> 00:36:40,577
I'll get... Ah!
525
00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:44,911
You get... You...
526
00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:47,627
Ah! Yeah.
527
00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:53,046
I'm gonna get your bag and we'll go this way.
528
00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,714
And this is your room.
529
00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:11,689
- It's a terrible view, hey?
- Whoa!
530
00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:20,162
And this is to keep you famous.
531
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:21,868
You can broadcast whenever you like.
532
00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:27,038
(SINGS) ♪ I have an itch... ♪
(HUMS)
533
00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:29,376
Hey, whoa! What are you doing?
You're not putting me on.
534
00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:31,337
I'm just checking my web cam back home.
535
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:33,342
I've hidden it in a pot plant.
536
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:35,378
You've hidden it?
537
00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,218
Yeah - I've turned it
into a nanny cam
538
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:39,724
to keep an eye on things.
539
00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:43,808
Elspeth Dickens, 007.
540
00:37:45,805 --> 00:37:49,309
- (POTS CLANG)
- Ooh! That's a big noise.
541
00:37:49,476 --> 00:37:51,023
ELSPETH: There's my boys.
542
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,075
This should help with the pain, Mr Dickens.
543
00:37:57,233 --> 00:37:58,780
Oh, thanks.
544
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,827
I'm so terribly sorry.
545
00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:05,663
That's alright, Mary.
I'm sorry about the swearing.
546
00:38:05,825 --> 00:38:07,327
Oh, I should have realised who you were,
547
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:09,246
but Mrs Dickens said you were out of contact...
548
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:11,540
- No, no. It's fine.
- (BOYS SQUEAL)
549
00:38:11,706 --> 00:38:14,630
Would you like me to take them out for a bit of a walk
550
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:16,420
so you can have a rest?
551
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:17,963
Thanks, but...
552
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,255
Would you like something to eat?
553
00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:21,971
Mary, what I'd really like
554
00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:24,352
is to spend some time with the kids on my own.
555
00:38:24,511 --> 00:38:26,639
Here.
556
00:38:30,725 --> 00:38:34,355
(SINGS) ♪ Oh, mama-mama-mama
mama-mama-mama-maria
557
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:39,151
♪ Oh-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-Ii-aa
558
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,872
♪ Gimme a hotel
♪ Gimme a motel
559
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:45,907
♪ Gimme a vacancy
560
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:48,543
♪ Gimme the space now, out of my face now
561
00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:50,203
♪ Do not disturb me
562
00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:55,251
♪ I'm ripping off my collar
♪ I'm gonna howl and holler
563
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:57,544
♪ I'm gonna have a pillow fight
564
00:38:57,710 --> 00:39:02,807
♪ I'm gonna dance the whole damn night
565
00:39:02,966 --> 00:39:07,847
- ♪ I love a private party
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
566
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:12,688
- ♪ Nobody's invited
- ♪ No, no, no
567
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,479
♪ 'Cause that's what I decided
568
00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,943
♪ And what the lady wants, the lady's gonna get, yeah
569
00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:21,488
♪ I've got the time to make me
570
00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:23,824
♪ So even I would take me
571
00:39:23,987 --> 00:39:25,989
♪ I think I'm gonna kiss me
572
00:39:26,155 --> 00:39:28,749
♪ I'll leave and then I'll miss me
573
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:31,036
♪ I'm using all the shampoo
574
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,330
♪ Because you told me not to
575
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,749
I I might do things I've never done
576
00:39:35,915 --> 00:39:41,263
♪ I'm gonna take the towels and run, hey
577
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:46,097
I I love a private party
578
00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:50,230
♪ Nobody's invited
579
00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:53,437
♪ 'Cause that's what I decided
580
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:57,150
♪ And what the lady wants, the lady's gonna get, yeah
581
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:59,531
♪ I'm gonna raid the bar fridge
582
00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:01,817
♪ I'm gonna hog the bed now
583
00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:04,281
♪ I'm gonna play my music
584
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:06,697
♪ I'm gonna play it loud now
585
00:40:06,863 --> 00:40:09,332
♪ Mama-mama-mama-
mama-mama-mama-maria
586
00:40:11,034 --> 00:40:15,665
♪ Oh-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ia
587
00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:23,214
♪ And I love a private party
588
00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:28,306
♪ Nobody's invited
589
00:40:28,468 --> 00:40:33,520
♪ I'm turning down the lighting
590
00:40:33,681 --> 00:40:38,061
- ♪ It could get quite exciting
- ♪ Lady, get what you want
591
00:40:38,227 --> 00:40:41,606
♪ I'm turning out
the lights now. ♪
592
00:40:43,358 --> 00:40:45,736
Gerald would have a fit if I carried on like that.
593
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:47,904
Gerald would have a fit if you farted without permission.
594
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,870
Well, at least she's trying
to do something with her life.
595
00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:53,080
At least she's trying.
596
00:40:53,242 --> 00:40:56,416
Oh, for heaven's sake,
will someone get this woman to bed?
597
00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:57,876
Helen, can she use the spare room?
598
00:40:58,039 --> 00:40:59,791
No, no, I'm not tired.
599
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:01,301
I'm pregnant.
600
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:03,803
- Oh, no.
- Oh.
601
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:05,964
Sorry.
602
00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:08,808
ANSWERING MACHINE:
Hi, Mary. It's Elspeth.
603
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:11,766
I'm just checking in to see
how you and the boys are doing.
604
00:41:11,928 --> 00:41:15,023
Um, give me a buzz back
when you get this message. Thanks.
605
00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:28,036
- Ready?
- (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
606
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:31,497
- Alright.
- Yeah?
607
00:41:33,992 --> 00:41:35,960
Wait!
608
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,929
Enter.
609
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:55,556
Well! You look
all shiny and new.
610
00:41:55,722 --> 00:41:57,941
Eight hours sleep without a single
toddler finger up your nostril
611
00:41:58,099 --> 00:42:00,773
will do that for you.
612
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:02,903
Thanks for having me.
613
00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:06,692
I just can't believe it.
It's a dream.
614
00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:09,031
Ralph, fetch the Goddess.
615
00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:22,335
- Tada.
- I love it.
616
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,592
It's beautiful.
617
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:26,719
Goddess.
618
00:42:26,878 --> 00:42:28,926
For all the women you are.
619
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:31,511
Is that a line from the ad?
620
00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:34,427
That's THE line.
My line, actually.
621
00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:38,064
And strictly speaking, it's not an ad, it's a webisode.
622
00:42:38,222 --> 00:42:39,815
A series of webisodes.
623
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:43,774
So the idea is, right, to post a whole bunch of clips
624
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:45,313
of you singing on the Net,
625
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,902
and in each clip, you'll play
626
00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:49,238
one of these different characters.
627
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,653
And then you'll use your Goddess computer
628
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:53,742
to solve any little problems that might arise.
629
00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:55,999
Have you had a chance to read the scripts yet?
630
00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:59,411
- Great.
- Big day tomorrow.
631
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:02,877
- Are you ready?
- Mm-hm.
632
00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,958
(PHONE RINGS)
633
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,639
(PHONE RINGS)
634
00:43:13,966 --> 00:43:15,934
- Hello?
- Oh, hi!
635
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:17,812
Hey.
636
00:43:17,970 --> 00:43:21,850
- So, you got a gig.
- Yeah.
637
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:25,270
It's a Web thing.
Son of ads but on the Net.
638
00:43:25,436 --> 00:43:27,780
- So you're back.
- Yep. Yep.
639
00:43:27,939 --> 00:43:29,657
I left a million messages for you,
640
00:43:29,816 --> 00:43:31,489
but you weren't there, and I thought,
641
00:43:31,651 --> 00:43:33,904
"He wouldn't want me to miss
an opportunity like this."
642
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:35,788
So I took the plunge.
643
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:37,745
Have you met Mary?
Isn't she great?
644
00:43:37,907 --> 00:43:40,376
JAMES: Um...
645
00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:42,537
- Yeah.
- How are the whales?
646
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:45,297
- How did it go?
- Fine. Good. It went well.
647
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:46,833
Don't be angry with me, James.
648
00:43:46,999 --> 00:43:48,797
The opportunity came up and I took it.
649
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,553
Fine.
650
00:43:50,711 --> 00:43:52,759
Don't say it's fine when you don't mean it.
651
00:43:52,922 --> 00:43:54,799
- I do mean it.
- No, you don't. You're angry.
652
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:57,515
I'm not angry. I just wasn't
expecting you to be away.
653
00:43:57,677 --> 00:43:59,600
- Yeah, well, I am.
- Yeah, you are.
654
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:01,890
When you're away, do I call up and pick fights with you?
655
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:04,275
Picking fights?
I'm not the one picking fights!
656
00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:05,935
Why would you accuse me of picking fights
657
00:44:06,102 --> 00:44:07,820
when I'm thousands of miles away
658
00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:09,401
already feeling bad about doing something
659
00:44:09,564 --> 00:44:10,941
that's my perfect right to do?
660
00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,359
(BOTH sl<3l-l)
661
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,780
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink
662
00:44:16,946 --> 00:44:19,119
♪ This is where
I think and think... ♪
663
00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:21,785
Sorry. Can I just
check the lyrics?
664
00:44:21,951 --> 00:44:25,797
Elspeth, this is your song.
You know the lyrics.
665
00:44:25,955 --> 00:44:27,878
I know, I know.
666
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,761
- Do you want to take a minute?
- No, I'll get it right.
667
00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:33,045
MAN: Still rolling.
668
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,925
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink
669
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:39,935
♪ This is where
I stop and think... ♪
670
00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:43,769
- Um, did geishas wash up?
- DIRECTOR: Cut!
671
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:48,277
89.7% of all domestic cleaning
is performed by women,
672
00:44:48,436 --> 00:44:49,904
regardless of their profession.
673
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:51,405
Is that true?
674
00:44:51,564 --> 00:44:54,989
I've absolutely no idea, darling,
but it feels true, doesn't it?
675
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:08,832
Don't eat the props!
676
00:45:08,998 --> 00:45:10,841
Shit!
677
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:13,048
(MUMBLES) Sorry.
678
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:16,973
Changing lenses. Take five.
679
00:45:21,928 --> 00:45:23,930
I'm sorry. I've gone all fuzzy
round the edges.
680
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:26,895
I've seen this a million times.
681
00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:29,902
You're terrified of succeeding so you sabotage yourself
682
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:32,029
before you can be disappointed.
683
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:34,282
Do you really think so?
684
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:35,817
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
685
00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:37,985
We're ready.
686
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:42,119
- What I think?
- (SQUEAKING)
687
00:45:42,281 --> 00:45:46,957
What I think is, you can do this.
688
00:45:47,119 --> 00:45:48,666
Mm-hm?
689
00:45:55,878 --> 00:45:58,472
Right. Come on, alien girl.
690
00:45:59,507 --> 00:46:01,930
- Eh?
- (LAUGHS)
691
00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:04,346
- What do you reckon?
- Handsome.
692
00:46:04,512 --> 00:46:06,560
Hey? I look like
a giant squid.
693
00:46:06,722 --> 00:46:08,941
Come on. Just a few more shots
and it's a wrap.
694
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:12,821
And then it's drinkies
and a fancy-schmancy din-dins.
695
00:46:12,979 --> 00:46:15,778
- Oops! Where are we going?
- Oh, my head.
696
00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:17,783
It's just down here.
They're waiting.
697
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:19,740
- No, for din-dins.
- Oh, for din-dins?
698
00:46:19,902 --> 00:46:23,497
- I think it's a sushi joint.
- I need the toilet.
699
00:46:29,912 --> 00:46:32,916
Thanks for the gig.
For all this.
700
00:46:33,082 --> 00:46:35,926
I'm having so much fun.
701
00:46:36,085 --> 00:46:39,430
I'm sorry about today.
I'm sorry if...
702
00:46:39,588 --> 00:46:42,432
Oh, sorry, schmorry.
You're doing brilliantly.
703
00:46:42,591 --> 00:46:46,846
And if I may make a prediction,
it's going to make you famous.
704
00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:49,766
- Really?
- M m-hm.
705
00:46:49,932 --> 00:46:52,355
Tell me about you.
Are you married?
706
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:54,441
Jettisoned the husband, darling.
707
00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:56,276
When you're breaking through the glass ceiling,
708
00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:58,783
there are bound to be casualties.
709
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:02,787
Well, angel, he could barely do
wee-wees standing up by himself.
710
00:47:02,945 --> 00:47:04,822
Honestly, no loss there.
711
00:47:04,989 --> 00:47:06,707
Any kids?
712
00:47:06,866 --> 00:47:08,914
No, no, never did the kid thing.
713
00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:10,828
Oh, look.
714
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:13,089
Oh!
715
00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:16,000
WAITER: Here we have
a tower of lobster tail,
716
00:47:16,167 --> 00:47:18,886
fried quail egg topped with fresh Sydney rock oyster
717
00:47:19,045 --> 00:47:21,798
and an icing of crushed beluga caviar
718
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,808
accompanied by sauce Choron.
719
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:26,389
ELSPETH: Thank you.
720
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,601
Ooh! Mmm!
721
00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:31,892
Mmm!
722
00:47:32,058 --> 00:47:35,187
- Elspeth!
- What?
723
00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:39,574
You just murdered an entire symphony of taste sensations.
724
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:43,612
Sorry. Just so excited to eat
a meal I haven't cooked myself.
725
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:45,746
- Here.
- Oh, no, it's yours.
726
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:47,907
- Honestly, I'm not hungry.
- Oh, OK.
727
00:47:48,991 --> 00:47:52,245
Now, one more time with feeling.
728
00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:56,632
Savour the sluttish luxuriance of the oyster.
729
00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,136
Let the juices have their wicked way with you.
730
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:03,924
Love it like you're not supposed to.
731
00:48:04,090 --> 00:48:06,468
(BOTH LAUGH)
732
00:48:09,678 --> 00:48:11,646
Aren't we naughty?
733
00:48:16,936 --> 00:48:17,903
It's such a lovely night.
734
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:19,780
I think I'm going to walk back to the hotel.
735
00:48:19,939 --> 00:48:21,907
Yes, of course, but before you go,
736
00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:23,784
I want you to do something for me.
737
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,866
I want you to repeat after me,
738
00:48:26,028 --> 00:48:30,329
"I am Elspeth Dickens, goddess!"
739
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:31,834
(LAUGHS) No!
740
00:48:31,992 --> 00:48:33,585
Come on. You've got
a big photoshoot tomorrow.
741
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,587
I need you to be in the right headspace.
742
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,168
Think of it as a branding exercise.
743
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:38,833
What brand of woman are you?
744
00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:42,048
(SHOUTS)
I am Elspeth Dickens, goddess!
745
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:45,590
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
746
00:48:47,967 --> 00:48:51,813
Yes, you are.
See you at the studio. 7am sharp.
747
00:49:10,072 --> 00:49:12,575
(SINGS)
♪ Oh, my, here's a beauty
748
00:49:12,741 --> 00:49:14,960
♪ She's a real cutie
749
00:49:15,119 --> 00:49:18,623
♪ Think I feel a duty
to put her in my song. ♪
750
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:22,669
- What's your name, darling?
- I'm Elspeth Dickens, goddess.
751
00:49:22,835 --> 00:49:23,882
(LAUGHS)
752
00:49:24,044 --> 00:49:27,173
♪ Elspeth is a goddess
753
00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:31,640
- ♪ And she is very modest... ♪
- Mm-hm.
754
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:40,525
♪ She is much too pretty to be alone in this big old city
755
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:45,324
♪ Oh, Elspeth Dickens, my heart quickens
756
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:49,283
♪ But I ain't easy pickins 'Cause you walk like
757
00:49:49,445 --> 00:49:52,949
I You walk like You walk like
758
00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:56,702
♪ 10 chickens. ♪
759
00:49:56,869 --> 00:49:59,247
- I'm sorry, but it rhymes.
- Rubbish.
760
00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:00,790
(LAUGHS)
761
00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:02,879
♪ I have to play here
762
00:50:03,042 --> 00:50:04,760
♪ Don't disappear, dear... ♪
763
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:07,638
(CLUCKS LIKE CHICKEN)
764
00:50:07,796 --> 00:50:10,766
♪ She flies like a seagull... ♪
765
00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:12,768
Still rubbish!
766
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:15,527
♪ And people... ♪
767
00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:24,484
(ROOSTER CROWS)
768
00:50:24,647 --> 00:50:26,570
(WHALE NOISE)
769
00:50:26,732 --> 00:50:29,576
So that's the Megaptera novaeangliae.
770
00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:32,830
- That's the humpback whale.
- BOYS: Moo!
771
00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:37,619
No, that's a cow, OK?
But this...
(MAKES WHALE NOISE)
772
00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:39,287
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- Thank you.
773
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,956
That's the noise he makes as well.
774
00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:44,545
So this...
(MAKES WHALE NOISE)
775
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:47,757
...is the Globicephala melaena -
that's the pilot whale.
776
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:49,843
(MAKES WHALE NOISE)
777
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,803
That's the mighty sperm whale.
778
00:50:51,966 --> 00:50:54,014
'Bye, chaps.
Wish me luck.
779
00:50:56,053 --> 00:51:00,809
CASSANDRA: Darling, Botticelli's
Venus doesn't have any clothes.
780
00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:02,818
Can't I be the Mona Lisa instead, then?
781
00:51:02,977 --> 00:51:07,483
No, precious. You're a goddess.
That's the whole point.
782
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:11,118
I'm not a goddess.
I'm a mother with stretch marks.
783
00:51:11,277 --> 00:51:14,451
We can fix all that.
Trust me. You'll look perfect.
784
00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:16,786
But isn't the whole point that I'm not perfect?
785
00:51:16,949 --> 00:51:19,748
That I'm a normal mother who still has a life?
786
00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:21,787
Angel, the earth mother is dead.
787
00:51:21,954 --> 00:51:24,798
People want to see mums portrayed as bold and sexy.
788
00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:26,834
I don't want to take my clothes off.
789
00:51:27,001 --> 00:51:30,255
I'm a singer, not a centrefold.
790
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:32,970
Ralph!
791
00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:43,108
Ah... Elspeth,
I think you look... hot.
792
00:51:43,267 --> 00:51:47,773
But not like a... not a dirty hot.
Like a... a... a classy hot.
793
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,782
And... you know,
and twice as rich.
794
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,614
Your hair's covering
your boo... hip... your bips.
795
00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,619
Your... your bits.
796
00:51:55,863 --> 00:51:57,740
Do you think we could use a model's body
797
00:51:57,906 --> 00:51:59,533
and just stick her head on it?
798
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:00,872
You're missing the point!
799
00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:02,753
I don't feel right about being plastered
800
00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:03,878
over the arse end of a bus
801
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:05,506
with whoever's body I happen to be wearing
802
00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:07,541
stark bloody naked!
803
00:52:14,048 --> 00:52:17,177
(CRUNCHING)
804
00:52:19,637 --> 00:52:22,060
(DOOR CREAKS)
805
00:52:22,222 --> 00:52:24,224
RALPH: Hello?
806
00:52:26,769 --> 00:52:28,146
(KNOCKING ON CUBICLE)
807
00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:30,406
Cassandra?
808
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:36,862
Cassandra?
809
00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:50,293
Do you want people to hear your songs?
810
00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:52,302
Yes, of course.
811
00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:54,634
Then you need exposure.
812
00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:57,801
- Yeah, but I didn't think...
- Everything costs.
813
00:52:57,966 --> 00:52:59,559
Everything has a price.
814
00:52:59,718 --> 00:53:02,471
You want some of this, you give up some of that.
815
00:53:02,638 --> 00:53:04,481
I'm sorry, I just don't think I should give up...
816
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,517
Oh, come on, Elspeth -
both you and I know
817
00:53:06,684 --> 00:53:09,528
you would do backflips naked across Sydney Harbour Bridge
818
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,360
to get where you want to go.
819
00:53:12,606 --> 00:53:14,529
And that's OK.
820
00:53:14,692 --> 00:53:17,445
But be that person.
821
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:21,115
Don't pretend to be this dreary little house mouse
822
00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:23,409
clutching onto her modesty.
823
00:53:23,575 --> 00:53:25,873
It's dishonest.
824
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:29,916
I don't want to be naked.
That's not dishonest.
825
00:53:30,082 --> 00:53:33,461
What is dishonest is wasting time in here
826
00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:36,176
so you can feel better about making the compromise
827
00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:38,261
you know you have to make out there.
828
00:53:38,424 --> 00:53:40,392
What is dishonest is keeping
829
00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:43,395
an entire studio full of professionals waiting
830
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,397
while you pretend you're not
831
00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,103
an extremely ambitious young woman
832
00:53:47,266 --> 00:53:49,394
who knows exactly what she must do
833
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,403
to get where she wants to go.
834
00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:55,192
That is dishonest.
835
00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:07,495
Breathe. Take a deep breath.
836
00:54:09,538 --> 00:54:13,133
Take a break.
Take a moment for yourself.
837
00:54:13,292 --> 00:54:15,386
And then it's back out there to do the job
838
00:54:15,544 --> 00:54:17,592
you're being paid to do.
839
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:19,849
OK?
840
00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:28,016
(ELSPETH SINGS)
♪ A foolish little princess wanted all
841
00:54:28,182 --> 00:54:34,360
♪ See her pride
♪ See her fall
842
00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:37,695
♪ Somewhere in the fountain
843
00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:44,662
♪ A magic fish swims and sings
844
00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:51,331
♪ Be careful what you wish... ♪
845
00:54:51,497 --> 00:54:54,626
(APPLAUSE)
846
00:54:54,792 --> 00:54:59,468
♪ Danger in the air now
♪ What, what, what you want?
847
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:03,385
♪ Is this what you really want?
Your fairytale unfolds, wow
848
00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:06,099
♪ What, what, what you want?
849
00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:07,763
♪ Is this what you really want?
850
00:55:07,930 --> 00:55:10,979
♪ Princes may be really frogs
851
00:55:11,141 --> 00:55:13,394
♪ Look out for
three-headed dogs
852
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,359
♪ Sleeping there in hollow logs
853
00:55:16,522 --> 00:55:22,370
♪ Be careful what you wish
854
00:55:26,448 --> 00:55:29,372
- ♪ Careful, don't play the fool
- ♪ Ah
855
00:55:29,535 --> 00:55:32,254
♪ You may be forced to duel
856
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:36,292
♪ Did you set out to rule?
- ♪ Ah
857
00:55:36,458 --> 00:55:38,836
I When you get it Ah hah hah hah
858
00:55:39,002 --> 00:55:41,755
♪ Is this what you came here for?
859
00:55:41,922 --> 00:55:45,267
- I Ah
- ♪ Beware of the golden doors
860
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:49,020
♪ You get what you're asking for
861
00:55:49,179 --> 00:55:52,774
♪ When you get it
♪ Ah hah hah hah hah hah
862
00:55:52,933 --> 00:55:55,402
♪ Did you want the crown now?
863
00:55:55,561 --> 00:55:58,064
♪ What, what, what you want?
864
00:55:58,230 --> 00:55:59,732
♪ Is this what you really want?
865
00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:02,151
♪ You're in lost-and-found now
866
00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:04,240
♪ What, what, what you want
867
00:56:04,403 --> 00:56:06,246
♪ Is this what you really want?
868
00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:08,453
♪ Build a castle made of sand
869
00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:12,336
♪ There's something loose out in the land
870
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:15,247
♪ May not be what you have planned
871
00:56:15,414 --> 00:56:22,093
♪ Be careful what you wish
872
00:56:24,798 --> 00:56:28,098
- ♪ Careful, don't play the fool
- ♪ Ah
873
00:56:28,260 --> 00:56:30,558
♪ You may be forced to duel
874
00:56:30,721 --> 00:56:34,271
♪ And did you set out to rule?
875
00:56:34,433 --> 00:56:37,312
I When you get it Ah hah hah hah
876
00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:40,481
♪ Was this what you came here for?
877
00:56:40,647 --> 00:56:43,491
♪ Beware of the golden door
878
00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:47,200
♪ You get what you're asking for
879
00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:51,742
♪ When you get it
Ah hah hah hah hah hah. ♪
880
00:56:58,749 --> 00:57:01,093
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
881
00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:09,222
- They uploaded your webcasts!
- Oh, great!
882
00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:12,228
- Which made the server collapse.
- Oh, no.
883
00:57:12,387 --> 00:57:13,809
No, no, no, that's great!
884
00:57:13,972 --> 00:57:15,724
The server collapsed because every man and his dog
885
00:57:15,891 --> 00:57:17,393
is logging on to watch you.
886
00:57:17,559 --> 00:57:19,903
So, drum roll, please.
887
00:57:20,062 --> 00:57:22,906
Cassandra pitched an idea to the client.
888
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:26,911
I have suggested that instead of wasting Elspeth Dickens
889
00:57:27,069 --> 00:57:28,992
on the Asia-Pacific campaign,
890
00:57:29,154 --> 00:57:31,248
they use her to spearhead the...
891
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:32,908
BOTH: ..international launch!
892
00:57:33,075 --> 00:57:35,373
Rich! Rich!
You'll be rich, I tell ya!
893
00:57:35,535 --> 00:57:38,379
They've asked for a day or two
to consult the powers that be,
894
00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:41,963
but what this means in the
short term is that I need you here,
895
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:44,127
ready to jump when they say jump.
896
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:48,015
Oh, that's great, but I'm on the six o'clock flight.
897
00:57:48,173 --> 00:57:50,676
- Uh, no, cancelled it.
- But the kids, James!
898
00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:52,515
They're expecting me home.
899
00:57:52,678 --> 00:57:55,101
Don't get me wrong.
This is wonderful.
900
00:57:55,263 --> 00:57:57,186
But I have to have a conversation with my husband...
901
00:57:57,349 --> 00:58:00,398
Ralph, go to the lobby and fetch me
a sparkling mineral water.
902
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:01,982
Yep. There's one
in the minibar.
903
00:58:02,145 --> 00:58:03,863
- Ralph?
- Mmm?
904
00:58:04,022 --> 00:58:05,945
(CLEARS THROAT)
905
00:58:06,108 --> 00:58:09,487
Oh! Exiting stage left.
906
00:58:17,577 --> 00:58:20,922
I was tough on you the other day, I know.
907
00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:23,004
But I only said what I said
908
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:25,885
because the big time is barrelling towards you
909
00:58:26,044 --> 00:58:27,591
like a freight train.
910
00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:29,176
It will only come once.
911
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:31,842
There will only be one opportunity to get on board.
912
00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:33,727
And if you don't take your seat now,
913
00:58:33,885 --> 00:58:35,853
then some other lucky girl will.
914
00:58:36,013 --> 00:58:38,892
And your chance will pass.
915
00:58:39,057 --> 00:58:41,606
Forever.
916
00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:50,903
If you're going to make this work,
then you need to let...
917
00:58:51,069 --> 00:58:53,367
- What's his name, your husband?
- James.
918
00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:57,410
Then you need to let James carry more of the load.
919
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,287
We have a deal.
920
00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:03,207
We agreed I'd be the main carer until the kids were...
921
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:05,592
Deal, schmeal.
922
00:59:05,751 --> 00:59:10,632
Opportunities like this come once in a lifetime.
923
00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:15,143
You need to renegotiate your deal.
924
00:59:18,055 --> 00:59:20,604
- I guess I'll get Mary back.
- ELSPETH: Why can't you do it?
925
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:23,770
I can for a bit, but I've got to go
back to work on Wednesday,
926
00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:25,858
and if you can't say how long you're gonna be...
927
00:59:26,021 --> 00:59:28,319
James, I want to renegotiate our deal.
928
00:59:28,482 --> 00:59:30,359
Yeah, whose big idea was that in the first place?
929
00:59:30,525 --> 00:59:33,779
Mine. I'm not blaming you.
I'm just asking you to review it.
930
00:59:33,945 --> 00:59:35,413
You threw the deal out the window
931
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,324
the moment you took off for Sydney.
932
00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:39,334
Don't be pretending to ask my permission.
933
00:59:39,493 --> 00:59:41,791
You don't seriously expect me
to tell these people to go away
934
00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:43,330
until the twins went to school
935
00:59:43,497 --> 00:59:45,716
because that's when it's my
husband's turn to look after them,
936
00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:47,592
so that's when I could work?
937
00:59:47,751 --> 00:59:50,300
I expected you to do exactly what you wanted to do,
938
00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:52,135
and that's what you've done -
shock, horror.
939
00:59:52,297 --> 00:59:53,674
What's the matter with you?
940
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,217
Don't you want this for me?
941
00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:57,636
For us?
Don't you want this money?
942
00:59:57,803 --> 01:00:01,023
Three cheers for Elspeth, bringing home the big bucks.
943
01:00:01,181 --> 01:00:03,024
You're all snippy because you're tired,
944
01:00:03,183 --> 01:00:06,232
'cause you're looking after twin terrors 24/7.
945
01:00:06,394 --> 01:00:09,238
Try doing it for two and a half bloody years.
946
01:00:09,397 --> 01:00:11,195
Try shoving your head up your bum!
947
01:00:11,358 --> 01:00:13,281
Interesting how calm and rational you can be
948
01:00:13,443 --> 01:00:15,241
when I'm the one stuck at home.
949
01:00:15,403 --> 01:00:17,280
But as soon as the shoe is on the other foot...
950
01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:18,790
- Hey, Elspeth.
- What?
951
01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:20,326
This!
(HANGS UP)
952
01:00:22,994 --> 01:00:25,622
(BOY CRIES)
953
01:00:25,789 --> 01:00:28,508
(GROWLS)
954
01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:42,139
Hey, goddess lady!
Whoa! It's me.
955
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:45,354
Hey, I've been watching your stuff on YouTube.
956
01:00:45,517 --> 01:00:47,360
You're... You're awesome.
957
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,613
No, I'm not. I'm rubbish.
958
01:00:49,771 --> 01:00:52,194
Oh. It's like that, is it?
959
01:00:52,357 --> 01:00:56,328
I'm a sellout.
I don't do anything properly.
960
01:00:56,486 --> 01:01:00,366
I'm a crap wife, a crap mother and a terrible person.
961
01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:10,209
- (SQUEALS)
- Ah!
962
01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,423
(BOTH LAUGH)
963
01:01:14,421 --> 01:01:15,798
Goodnight.
964
01:01:19,467 --> 01:01:22,061
(MAN WHISTLES TUNE)
965
01:01:29,769 --> 01:01:33,615
(SINGS)
♪ The goddess comes in all shapes and sizes
966
01:01:33,773 --> 01:01:39,405
♪ She is full of surprises Here comes the goddess
967
01:01:39,571 --> 01:01:44,998
♪ Sometimes she wears inappropriate clothing
968
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,255
♪ Sometimes she's wearing a nose ring
969
01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,507
♪ Maybe wearing her make-up
970
01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:53,338
♪ Maybe not
971
01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:56,254
♪ She comes when you least expect her
972
01:01:56,421 --> 01:01:59,345
♪ But nobody can reject her
973
01:01:59,507 --> 01:02:02,306
♪ Here comes the goddess
974
01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:07,270
♪ So if you're spiritually incomplete
975
01:02:07,432 --> 01:02:10,026
♪ If you're out there searching the street
976
01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:14,691
♪ Look closely at the women you meet
977
01:02:14,856 --> 01:02:19,236
I The goddess She will surely affect you
978
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:22,246
♪ Then she'll come disinfect you
979
01:02:22,405 --> 01:02:25,329
♪ Maybe wearing dark glasses
980
01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:27,620
♪ She's got two big asses
981
01:02:27,786 --> 01:02:30,380
♪ Struts her stuff for you
982
01:02:30,538 --> 01:02:33,382
♪ Eats enough for two
983
01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:36,215
♪ A dangerous dancer
984
01:02:36,378 --> 01:02:39,177
♪ She might be the answer
985
01:02:39,339 --> 01:02:42,263
♪ She comes when you least expect her
986
01:02:42,425 --> 01:02:45,269
♪ And nobody can reject her
987
01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:47,522
♪ Here comes the goddess
988
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:53,062
♪ So if you're spiritually incomplete
989
01:02:53,228 --> 01:02:55,356
♪ If you're out there searching the street
990
01:02:55,522 --> 01:02:59,152
♪ Look closely at the women you meet
991
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:01,536
♪ Here comes the goddess
992
01:03:01,695 --> 01:03:04,198
♪ Sometimes she doesn't wash her hair
993
01:03:04,364 --> 01:03:06,833
♪ Sometimes she's hairy like a bear
994
01:03:06,992 --> 01:03:10,087
♪ Sometimes she wears a wedding ring
995
01:03:10,245 --> 01:03:11,337
♪ So look around
996
01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,089
♪ Here comes the goddess
997
01:03:13,248 --> 01:03:15,501
♪ The goddess
♪ Perhaps her nose is red
998
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,170
♪ She might be the stranger in your bed
999
01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:20,885
♪ Perhaps she will knock you on your head
1000
01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:23,049
♪ So look around
1001
01:03:23,216 --> 01:03:25,685
♪ Here comes the goddess
1002
01:03:25,844 --> 01:03:28,438
♪ Oh, here she comes
1003
01:03:30,557 --> 01:03:33,276
♪ A dangerous dancer
1004
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:36,439
♪ She might be the answer
1005
01:03:37,605 --> 01:03:41,405
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
1006
01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:46,039
♪ Here comes the goddess. ♪
1007
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,006
(ELSPETH LAUGHS)
Sun rubbish.
1008
01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:01,012
(MAN LAUGHS)
1009
01:04:10,638 --> 01:04:12,811
MAN: So.
1010
01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:18,356
Same time, same place?
1011
01:04:22,525 --> 01:04:24,027
Can I come up?
1012
01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:26,288
- Rory!
- What?
1013
01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:29,495
Just to make sure the fella
in the funny outfit doesn't mug ya.
1014
01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:37,503
Good bye.
1015
01:04:38,541 --> 01:04:40,088
Thank you.
1016
01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:15,457
Stop it.
1017
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:20,376
Stop it. I mean it. No.
1018
01:05:25,046 --> 01:05:26,468
You are Elspeth Dickens, mother,
1019
01:05:26,631 --> 01:05:28,429
and you are playing dangerous games.
1020
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:30,013
Who's she talking to?
1021
01:05:30,176 --> 01:05:31,894
You are Elspeth Dickens, wife,
1022
01:05:32,053 --> 01:05:35,057
and your husband's name is James, James...
1023
01:05:35,223 --> 01:05:38,568
- Is she writing a song?
- I don't think so.
1024
01:05:38,726 --> 01:05:40,399
ELSPETH:
James, James, James.
1025
01:05:42,188 --> 01:05:44,737
- (WHISTLES)
- (GASPS)
1026
01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:49,321
Oh... There you are.
1027
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:52,366
Oh. Oh, my God. That's him.
1028
01:05:52,532 --> 01:05:56,127
That's the husband. That's her
kitchen. She's switched us over.
1029
01:05:58,455 --> 01:06:00,833
(HUMS)
1030
01:06:00,999 --> 01:06:02,342
(GASPS)
1031
01:06:07,922 --> 01:06:08,969
(FARTS)
1032
01:06:22,604 --> 01:06:24,606
(COWS MOO)
1033
01:06:24,772 --> 01:06:27,491
Come on!
You worked the last time.
1034
01:06:30,111 --> 01:06:32,910
- Come on.
- Have you tried pulling it?
1035
01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:35,871
- What?
- Um, the knob.
1036
01:06:36,034 --> 01:06:37,877
Sorry?
1037
01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:40,334
WOMAN: Sorry.
1038
01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:42,044
Ah.
1039
01:06:43,166 --> 01:06:45,089
I'm Cherry.
1040
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:46,924
From the agency.
I'm the babysitter.
1041
01:06:47,086 --> 01:06:49,509
Oh, Cherry.
What happened to Mary?
1042
01:06:49,672 --> 01:06:52,016
She's with another family, I think.
1043
01:06:52,175 --> 01:06:55,349
Oh, well. You're here.
That's great. I'm James.
1044
01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:57,765
- Hi, James.
- Come and meet the, uh...
1045
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:01,150
- The children?
- The children.
1046
01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:07,949
MAN ON TV: A massive
ground assault is underway.
1047
01:07:08,107 --> 01:07:09,734
(GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSIONS)
1048
01:07:12,195 --> 01:07:13,742
Oh, jeepers.
1049
01:07:13,905 --> 01:07:15,031
What's wrong?
Did they do a poo?
1050
01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,666
BOTH: No poo.
1051
01:07:16,824 --> 01:07:19,122
Hello, little ones.
1052
01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:21,504
If you don't do a poo, you're gonna explode.
1053
01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,633
- (EXPLOSION ON TV)
- BOYS: Boom!
1054
01:07:24,791 --> 01:07:26,919
Uh, hey. Who wants
to make playdough?
1055
01:07:27,085 --> 01:07:30,009
Do you want to make playdough?
Let's do that. Yeah.
1056
01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:32,424
- A little Elmo.
- A little Elmo.
1057
01:07:32,590 --> 01:07:34,809
Little arms.
1058
01:07:37,762 --> 01:07:39,309
Can I get you anything before you go'?
1059
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:41,725
- No, I'm fine. Thank you.
- Alright. Hey...
1060
01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:43,689
Boys, we're gonna make a cake, aren't we?
1061
01:07:43,851 --> 01:07:46,900
BOYS: Cake! Cake! Cake!
Cake! Cake!
1062
01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:48,610
This playdough's hard work.
1063
01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:54,996
Oh, you go whenever you need to.
1064
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:57,407
- I don't have to go just yet.
- Oh.
1065
01:07:57,574 --> 01:08:00,077
- OK.
- OK. Yep.
1066
01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:01,210
BOY: Mummy!
1067
01:08:01,369 --> 01:08:02,916
We've got no right to be doing this.
1068
01:08:03,079 --> 01:08:04,922
They don't even know there's a camera there.
1069
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,799
Which makes it reality TV at its finest.
1070
01:08:06,958 --> 01:08:11,259
- Mummy! Mummy!
- Not now, Napoleon!
1071
01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:15,099
- (SNIP!)
- (CAT YOWLS)
1072
01:08:18,636 --> 01:08:20,229
Should we ask Daddy to be our guinea pig?
1073
01:08:20,388 --> 01:08:22,436
CHERRY: Yeah? Alright.
1074
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:26,186
Open wide.
1075
01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:32,075
- Oh, no. Oops.
- BOY: That's really yummy.
1076
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:33,655
CHERRY: Mmm!
1077
01:08:35,069 --> 01:08:36,912
Oh, that... That is good.
1078
01:08:37,071 --> 01:08:39,494
- BOY: Good work.
- Mmm!
1079
01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:47,920
- Oh, look! What's that?
- Cake!
1080
01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:51,006
- You're not Mary.
- I want cake!
1081
01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:52,716
But first, Daddy's gonna ice it.
1082
01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:55,052
I can't.
I'll bugger it up.
1083
01:08:55,214 --> 01:08:57,888
- He'll just get in the way.
- Oh, here.
1084
01:08:58,051 --> 01:09:00,349
- Oh, Elspeth doesn't like this.
- What?
1085
01:09:00,511 --> 01:09:02,184
- What?
- Two people in the kitchen.
1086
01:09:02,347 --> 01:09:04,691
- She says I get in the way.
- We like having you here.
1087
01:09:04,849 --> 01:09:06,066
- CHERRY: Don't we?
- BOYS: Yes!
1088
01:09:06,225 --> 01:09:07,602
I'm having great fun, but...
1089
01:09:07,769 --> 01:09:09,271
...I've really
got to go shopping.
1090
01:09:09,437 --> 01:09:11,110
- Here.
- Daddy's being silly!
1091
01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:14,446
- He is! He can't go like that.
- Like what?
1092
01:09:14,609 --> 01:09:16,577
That shirt needs a sponge.
It'll take me two secs.
1093
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:18,238
- Come on, off with it.
- Are you sure?
1094
01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:19,576
- CHERRY: Mm-hm.
- Oh.
1095
01:09:22,825 --> 01:09:25,294
We can't let Daddy go looking all gooey, can we?
1096
01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:28,878
"Oh, oh, oh, oh! We can't
let Daddy go looking all gooey."
1097
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:31,668
"No, we have to
sponge him down first."
1098
01:09:41,719 --> 01:09:44,939
- Nice tatts.
- Great back.
1099
01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:47,942
You should see his bottom.
1100
01:09:48,101 --> 01:09:49,944
BOTH: We have.
1101
01:09:50,103 --> 01:09:52,856
This is somebody's husband!
It's someone's private life.
1102
01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:55,024
That's what makes it so good!
1103
01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:57,364
I'm gonna tell him.
I'm gonna tell James.
1104
01:09:57,527 --> 01:09:59,450
He's got a right to know he's being watched.
1105
01:10:01,864 --> 01:10:02,911
Oh.
1106
01:10:11,916 --> 01:10:13,839
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
1107
01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:17,346
CASSANDRA:
You should see the stats.
1108
01:10:17,505 --> 01:10:21,100
You have got the most powerful
non-parochial penetration
1109
01:10:21,259 --> 01:10:24,763
since Julian Assange leaked all over his Wiki.
1110
01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:27,352
Oh! What's this?
1111
01:10:27,515 --> 01:10:30,894
A first-class ticket
to New York, New York.
1112
01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:32,607
Sit and I'll upload.
1113
01:10:36,399 --> 01:10:37,946
ELSPETH: Wow!
1114
01:10:46,868 --> 01:10:49,792
(SINGS)
♪ Not everyone can have what you want
1115
01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:52,423
♪ Fame is a crowded room
1116
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:55,131
♪ Everybody wants the one shot
1117
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:58,172
♪ At the sun spot that's up at the top
1118
01:10:58,337 --> 01:11:01,307
♪ I'm the one who can jump to the front of the line
1119
01:11:01,466 --> 01:11:05,687
♪ Make the sun shine
♪ Do you know who I am?
1120
01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:09,145
♪ Ooh
1121
01:11:09,307 --> 01:11:12,060
♪ Follow me and you'll hit the spot
1122
01:11:12,226 --> 01:11:14,900
♪ I can sell everything you've got
1123
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:17,235
♪ Make you into what you are not
1124
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,277
♪ Package and mould you
♪ Lick you and fold you
1125
01:11:20,443 --> 01:11:23,367
♪ Get your head around this
♪ I am offering bliss
1126
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:26,908
♪ Blow me a kiss
♪ Do you know who I am?
1127
01:11:27,074 --> 01:11:29,998
♪ Do you know who I am?
1128
01:11:31,287 --> 01:11:33,631
♪ Do you want to feel the heat
1129
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:36,543
♪ Of people screaming at your feet?
1130
01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:38,803
♪ Oh!
Hold yourself steady
1131
01:11:38,961 --> 01:11:40,053
♪ Aw!
1132
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:42,636
♪ Yeah, you're already mine
1133
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:45,097
I It's time
1134
01:11:45,259 --> 01:11:49,435
♪ Sign here
1135
01:11:49,597 --> 01:11:54,945
♪ Go get your high heels
♪ I own the big deals
1136
01:11:55,102 --> 01:12:00,074
♪ And if you squander this, your life is done
1137
01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,986
♪ It comes but once, now
1138
01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:06,247
♪ Don't be a dumb cow
1139
01:12:06,405 --> 01:12:11,787
♪ This is your final chance now,
sugar plum... ♪
1140
01:12:11,953 --> 01:12:14,081
Tomorrow, we fly to New York, just for a few days,
1141
01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:15,624
to bang out the deal.
1142
01:12:15,790 --> 01:12:17,633
You schmooze and charm
1143
01:12:17,792 --> 01:12:19,669
while I screw them for every cent they've got.
1144
01:12:19,836 --> 01:12:21,838
Then it's back here to pack and off we go.
1145
01:12:22,004 --> 01:12:24,473
♪ Break the glass
♪ Make a pass
1146
01:12:24,632 --> 01:12:32,632
♪ Shake that ass while you still can
1147
01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:36,190
♪ Do you want to feel the heat
1148
01:12:36,352 --> 01:12:38,354
♪ Of people screaming at your feet?
1149
01:12:38,521 --> 01:12:41,115
♪ Oh!
Hold yourself steady
1150
01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:42,651
♪ Aw!
1151
01:12:42,817 --> 01:12:44,785
♪ Yeah, you're already mine
1152
01:12:44,944 --> 01:12:47,413
I It's time
1153
01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:50,542
♪ Sign here
1154
01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:54,000
♪ Da-da-da-da-da
1155
01:12:54,161 --> 01:12:56,209
♪ On the dotted line
1156
01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:57,874
I Da-da-da-da
1157
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:01,419
♪ You're not that special, baby
1158
01:13:01,586 --> 01:13:04,590
I Da-da-da-da
1159
01:13:04,755 --> 01:13:06,974
♪ Da, feel the heat, da-da
1160
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:11,229
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da
1161
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:13,890
♪ Da-da-da-da... ♪
1162
01:13:14,056 --> 01:13:16,309
Ralph! Bring the contract.
1163
01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:19,191
Now, as you can imagine,
1164
01:13:19,353 --> 01:13:22,778
I have got a million things to do before we go,
1165
01:13:22,940 --> 01:13:26,069
so I will see you tomorrow morning...
1166
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:27,782
(KISSES)
1167
01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:30,573
...in the limousine.
1168
01:13:34,702 --> 01:13:38,582
- Scary.
- I heard that!
1169
01:13:40,541 --> 01:13:41,963
Oh!
1170
01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:45,426
It seems just a blink ago
I was sentenced to kitchen duties
1171
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:47,556
for the term of my natural life, and then...
1172
01:13:47,715 --> 01:13:51,094
...you spotted me.
1173
01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:54,389
And now I'm off for...
How long is this tour thing?
1174
01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:58,435
Oh... Uh, best guesstimate?
Let's see. Uh...
1175
01:13:58,601 --> 01:14:00,979
- Three months-ish.
- Three?!
1176
01:14:01,145 --> 01:14:04,570
Well, I'll have to get
a full-time nanny.
1177
01:14:04,732 --> 01:14:06,575
Yay! A full-time nanny!
1178
01:14:06,734 --> 01:14:08,236
You can get a whole fleet of nannies!
1179
01:14:08,402 --> 01:14:10,530
- Whoo!
- Hooray!
1180
01:14:10,696 --> 01:14:13,620
And then I can just take them
from hotel to hotel with me.
1181
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,077
Sure.
1182
01:14:16,243 --> 01:14:19,372
Or you could just...
leave them at home.
1183
01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:23,509
Sure. But maybe not
for three months.
1184
01:14:29,048 --> 01:14:32,143
People work and travel with kids and partners.
1185
01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:34,599
Look at movie stars.
They do it all the time.
1186
01:14:34,762 --> 01:14:36,514
Yeah.
1187
01:14:36,681 --> 01:14:40,026
Anyway, I get it.
This is my big chance.
1188
01:14:40,184 --> 01:14:42,778
I'd be a fool not to.
1189
01:14:42,937 --> 01:14:45,360
Yeah, so, I need you to sign...
1190
01:14:46,524 --> 01:14:51,496
...there, sign there,
initial there and sign there.
1191
01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:53,406
- Right.
- Mmm!
1192
01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:56,416
(BOTH LAUGH)
1193
01:15:01,288 --> 01:15:02,915
(CLEARS THROAT)
1194
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,219
With the money you make from this,
1195
01:15:07,378 --> 01:15:09,255
you could pay for your kids' entire education.
1196
01:15:10,297 --> 01:15:12,049
- Oh...
- Mm-hm.
1197
01:15:15,177 --> 01:15:17,930
Ralph, I've got to sit with this.
1198
01:15:18,097 --> 01:15:20,191
Read it like
a proper grown-up.
1199
01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:23,315
Can I bring it to the airport tomorrow morning?
1200
01:15:23,477 --> 01:15:25,195
Not if you want to see me alive again.
1201
01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:27,277
Oh...
1202
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:30,865
No, why don't I swing by tonight
and pick it up from the hotel?
1203
01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:34,076
Oh, Ralph!
You're such a champ.
1204
01:15:34,238 --> 01:15:37,492
Thank you.
Thank you for everything.
1205
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:40,628
That's OK.
1206
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:46,505
(BOY CRIES)
1207
01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:50,838
Oh, what happened, pal?
Did you hurt yourself?
1208
01:15:51,005 --> 01:15:52,848
- You OK?
- Fred fell down.
1209
01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:56,432
- It's OK. Dada's got you.
- Mama song.
1210
01:15:56,594 --> 01:15:58,141
Mama song?
1211
01:15:58,304 --> 01:16:00,477
(SINGS)
♪ For you light up the darkness
1212
01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:02,767
♪ You glow
♪ Don't give up
1213
01:16:02,933 --> 01:16:06,028
♪ Don't give in
Don't let go. ♪
1214
01:16:06,187 --> 01:16:09,441
- FRED: Mama song.
- OK, Mama song. OK.
1215
01:16:12,943 --> 01:16:15,822
(SINGS)
♪ If you didn't do what you wanted to
1216
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:19,413
♪ If you only did what everybody told you
1217
01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,419
♪ Who would you be?
1218
01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:26,333
♪ You will always try
♪ You will always fly
1219
01:16:26,499 --> 01:16:30,094
♪ You will always look a tiger in the eye
1220
01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:32,846
♪ Take it from me
1221
01:16:33,005 --> 01:16:36,179
I I see in your eyes
1222
01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:39,095
♪ There's a movie of dreams
1223
01:16:39,261 --> 01:16:41,855
♪ See there is more to you
1224
01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:44,142
♪ Than it first seems
1225
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:48,939
♪ See you are brighter than all the moonbeams
1226
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:51,073
♪ You know
1227
01:16:53,359 --> 01:16:56,533
(BOTH SING)
♪ For you light up the darkness
1228
01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:58,618
I You glow
1229
01:16:58,781 --> 01:17:01,534
♪ Don't give up
♪ Don't give in
1230
01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:05,170
♪ Don't let go. ♪
1231
01:17:06,413 --> 01:17:08,006
Yeah.
1232
01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:27,480
(CRIEs)
1233
01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:38,241
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1234
01:17:52,293 --> 01:17:54,295
- What's up, buttercup?
- Sorry.
1235
01:17:54,461 --> 01:17:56,384
I was just watching my family.
1236
01:17:56,547 --> 01:17:58,845
Oh.
1237
01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:03,058
You're gonna be fine.
James is doing a great job.
1238
01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:05,222
Yeah. He...
1239
01:18:05,389 --> 01:18:06,766
How do you know?
1240
01:18:06,932 --> 01:18:08,309
I've been watching too.
1241
01:18:08,475 --> 01:18:09,852
Everybody can see it.
1242
01:18:10,019 --> 01:18:12,488
It is on your website.
1243
01:18:12,646 --> 01:18:14,114
Huh?
1244
01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:18,323
You... You...
1245
01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:23,620
(TYPES)
1246
01:18:25,576 --> 01:18:29,080
You just switch from the Sydney
web cam to the Hobart web cam.
1247
01:18:29,246 --> 01:18:31,169
You know that.
1248
01:18:31,332 --> 01:18:33,926
- Bollocks.
- How could you not know that?
1249
01:18:34,084 --> 01:18:36,633
- Can you show me how you...
- What are you so panicked about?
1250
01:18:36,795 --> 01:18:38,672
I haven't even told him about the web cam.
1251
01:18:38,839 --> 01:18:40,716
I mean, about me doing the web cam thing,
1252
01:18:40,883 --> 01:18:43,136
let alone the fact that he and the kids are now...
1253
01:18:43,302 --> 01:18:45,725
Oh, how could I?
How could you?
1254
01:18:45,888 --> 01:18:48,437
I... I thought you knew.
I'm sorry.
1255
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:50,101
I'm such an idiot!
1256
01:18:50,267 --> 01:18:52,395
If I'd just...
Who's done all this artwork?
1257
01:18:52,561 --> 01:18:55,986
They... We...
We thought you'd be pleased.
1258
01:18:58,484 --> 01:19:01,033
Alright.
Well, I think it's ready.
1259
01:19:01,195 --> 01:19:03,243
Oh, there you are.
1260
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:07,285
- Can you please go?
- I need the contract.
1261
01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:14,170
JAMES: I'm starved.
Thank you.
1262
01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:16,301
Um...
1263
01:19:17,419 --> 01:19:20,389
You've just... missed one.
Just there.
1264
01:19:25,261 --> 01:19:26,808
Thanks.
1265
01:19:30,224 --> 01:19:32,352
Pick you up from the lobby in the morning, then.
1266
01:19:38,482 --> 01:19:42,328
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
1267
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,581
Oh...
1268
01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:48,663
- You're very tense.
- Yeah.
1269
01:19:48,826 --> 01:19:52,126
CHERRY: You worry about things,
don't you?
1270
01:19:53,205 --> 01:19:55,708
JAMES: Oh. Oh...
1271
01:19:55,874 --> 01:19:58,127
- Is that OK?
- Yeah. Yeah, right there.
1272
01:19:58,294 --> 01:20:00,467
(JAMES MOANS)
1273
01:20:00,629 --> 01:20:03,348
(JAMES CONTINUES MOANING)
1274
01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:13,358
(GROWLS)
1275
01:20:13,517 --> 01:20:15,611
JAMES: Oh, God, yes. Oh...
1276
01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:17,487
Where's Fizz?
1277
01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:20,616
JAMES: Oh. Right there.
1278
01:20:20,774 --> 01:20:22,947
Oh...
1279
01:20:24,486 --> 01:20:26,534
- I'm gonna get going.
- Yeah.
1280
01:20:26,697 --> 01:20:29,246
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Um... Oh. Pantry.
1281
01:20:29,408 --> 01:20:31,331
Um, are you feeling better?
1282
01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:33,916
Yeah. Good. Alright.
Well, I'll see you... Oh!
1283
01:20:34,079 --> 01:20:35,581
I'm sorry.
I'll see you later.
1284
01:20:35,748 --> 01:20:38,171
Oh. Bag.
1285
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:41,178
Cherry, you've been great.
Thanks very much.
1286
01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:43,214
Oh. No worries.
1287
01:20:43,380 --> 01:20:46,930
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Sorry. 'Bye! See you later.
1288
01:20:47,092 --> 01:20:50,062
- (PHONE RINGS)
- (DOOR CLOSES)
1289
01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,193
- Hello?
- James!
1290
01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:58,070
I've got something really big to tell you
1291
01:20:58,228 --> 01:21:00,026
and you're not gonna like it.
1292
01:21:00,189 --> 01:21:01,611
Oh, God. What?
1293
01:21:01,774 --> 01:21:05,574
See the plant on the shelf in the middle of the window?
1294
01:21:05,736 --> 01:21:07,784
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Hang on one second.
1295
01:21:07,946 --> 01:21:10,495
- It's the babysitter. Coming!
- James.
1296
01:21:10,657 --> 01:21:13,126
ELSPETH: James!
1297
01:21:13,285 --> 01:21:14,753
There's a web cam hidden in your kitchen
1298
01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:16,539
and everybody's watching you on the internet.
1299
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:17,752
What?!
1300
01:21:17,915 --> 01:21:19,337
There's a web cam in your kitchen.
1301
01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:22,094
I have to go.
They're coming.
1302
01:21:37,393 --> 01:21:40,021
James!
James! James!
1303
01:21:40,187 --> 01:21:42,064
James!
1304
01:21:49,738 --> 01:21:50,785
Bugged
1305
01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:56,704
I'm so sorry, Cassandra.
1306
01:21:56,870 --> 01:22:00,124
- I can't come. I'm not coming.
- This is just nerves...
1307
01:22:00,290 --> 01:22:02,088
I don't want to be the next big thing.
1308
01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:03,628
Stop. Let's just
get in the car...
1309
01:22:03,794 --> 01:22:05,967
All this time, I have been blaming James and the kids
1310
01:22:06,130 --> 01:22:07,507
for making me a nobody.
1311
01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:10,426
But it's them that have turned me into somebody.
1312
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:14,313
No-one is asking you
to leave your family behind.
1313
01:22:14,471 --> 01:22:16,394
Don't you see?
That's exactly what will happen.
1314
01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:18,605
Three months this time.
1315
01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,316
- Longer next time, until...
- Get her bags.
1316
01:22:21,478 --> 01:22:25,108
No, Cassandra.
I'm not coming.
1317
01:22:25,274 --> 01:22:28,403
You signed a legally binding contract.
1318
01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:31,493
RALPH: Actually, she didn't.
1319
01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:34,499
I went to pick up the contract last night
1320
01:22:34,658 --> 01:22:36,251
and she hadn't signed it.
1321
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:40,005
She... said that she was gonna
bring it this morning,
1322
01:22:40,164 --> 01:22:43,384
but she's obviously...
ripped it up... or something.
1323
01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:47,092
That's right.
There is no contract.
1324
01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:49,882
Idiot.
1325
01:22:55,929 --> 01:22:59,900
Women like me spend years doing the hard yards,
1326
01:23:00,058 --> 01:23:01,935
creating opportunities for girls like you.
1327
01:23:02,102 --> 01:23:04,230
And what do you do?
1328
01:23:04,396 --> 01:23:06,114
You nancy about with all of this vague,
1329
01:23:06,273 --> 01:23:08,321
feel-goody,
New Agey crap
1330
01:23:08,484 --> 01:23:10,907
and piss it all away!
1331
01:23:11,069 --> 01:23:13,492
Well, if it means ditching my husband
1332
01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:15,783
so that I can break through the glass ceiling, yeah.
1333
01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:17,872
I choose to piss it all away.
1334
01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,663
(MOANS SOFTLY)
1335
01:23:22,581 --> 01:23:27,428
Don't you presume to know anything about me.
1336
01:23:27,586 --> 01:23:30,931
I didn't ditch my husband.
1337
01:23:31,089 --> 01:23:33,558
He left me because I couldn't have children.
1338
01:23:33,717 --> 01:23:36,015
And guess why I don't tell that story to anyone.
1339
01:23:36,178 --> 01:23:37,805
I didn't...
1340
01:23:37,971 --> 01:23:42,147
Because that story makes me a sad, lonely loser.
1341
01:23:42,309 --> 01:23:45,188
So forgive me if I spin the story
1342
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:48,574
in a way that seems superficial to you, Elspeth,
1343
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,451
but that is not how I see myself.
1344
01:23:51,610 --> 01:23:54,284
That is not who I am.
1345
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:56,824
I am Cassandra Wolfe.
1346
01:23:56,990 --> 01:24:01,746
I run the most successful agency
in the Asia-Pacific.
1347
01:24:01,912 --> 01:24:05,132
And I am fabulous!
1348
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:09,336
You are fabulous, Cassandra.
1349
01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:14,308
Good bye.
1350
01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:15,763
(MOUTHS) Thank you.
1351
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:21,557
Come on.
1352
01:24:24,851 --> 01:24:29,732
- I have an idea.
- Don't speak just now.
1353
01:24:55,173 --> 01:24:58,518
Hello! Mummy's home!
1354
01:25:02,139 --> 01:25:03,766
Where's my bubbies?
1355
01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:11,031
(EXCITED LAUGHTER R)
1356
01:25:25,871 --> 01:25:29,216
- Hiya, bubbies!
- BOYS: Again, again!
1357
01:25:29,374 --> 01:25:32,127
- CHERRY: Look! Mummy's here.
- BOY: My turn! Again!
1358
01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:34,467
- More, more!
- More, more!
1359
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:36,928
- BOY: More, more!
- (CHERRY LAUGHS)
1360
01:25:38,300 --> 01:25:39,267
Hi.
1361
01:25:39,426 --> 01:25:41,645
BOY: My turn again!
1362
01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:43,396
He's not wearing any wings.
1363
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:46,650
Oh, yeah. I...
I just suggested it, and...
1364
01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:48,481
I hope you don't mind.
I just...
1365
01:25:48,644 --> 01:25:50,396
We just thought we'd save them for special days.
1366
01:25:50,562 --> 01:25:53,566
- Is that alright?
- Of course.
1367
01:25:54,608 --> 01:25:56,952
Where's their father?
1368
01:26:03,867 --> 01:26:06,666
- Hi.
- Hey.
1369
01:26:06,828 --> 01:26:09,957
I know you're angry with me.
I know why.
1370
01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:12,801
I had no choice.
1371
01:26:12,959 --> 01:26:15,712
That's it?
That's the apology?
1372
01:26:15,879 --> 01:26:19,383
I was desperate for some sort of contact.
1373
01:26:19,549 --> 01:26:21,472
So that makes it OK to expose our kids
1374
01:26:21,635 --> 01:26:23,763
to every perv and weirdo who decided to log on?
1375
01:26:23,929 --> 01:26:25,931
No, that was a mistake -
I left the web cam on
1376
01:26:26,098 --> 01:26:27,850
to keep an eye on the nanny, that's all.
1377
01:26:28,016 --> 01:26:30,235
As soon as I knew everyone was watching, I called you.
1378
01:26:30,394 --> 01:26:31,611
- Who's the bloke?
- What bloke'?
1379
01:26:31,770 --> 01:26:33,363
Oh, come on, Elspeth.
Don't do this.
1380
01:26:33,522 --> 01:26:36,241
- Rory? He's just a friend.
- Not Rory, Neil.
1381
01:26:36,400 --> 01:26:37,902
- Who's Rory?
- Neil?
1382
01:26:38,068 --> 01:26:39,661
Yeah, Neil, who sent you perfume.
1383
01:26:39,820 --> 01:26:41,197
Neil sent me perfume?
1384
01:26:41,363 --> 01:26:43,991
Oh, well...
He's just a boy, Jimmy.
1385
01:26:44,157 --> 01:26:45,409
He helped me install the web cam.
1386
01:26:45,575 --> 01:26:47,043
Why would he send you perfume?
1387
01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:49,751
Because I smell?
I don't know.
1388
01:26:49,913 --> 01:26:51,631
So who's this Rory?
1389
01:26:51,790 --> 01:26:53,258
Nobody.
1390
01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:55,636
I'm sorry everyone got to watch you,
1391
01:26:55,794 --> 01:26:57,796
but I'm not sorry that I got to watch you,
1392
01:26:57,963 --> 01:26:59,510
because I fell in love with you.
1393
01:26:59,673 --> 01:27:01,926
I didn't even know I'd fallen out of love with you
1394
01:27:02,092 --> 01:27:03,639
until I fell in love with you again,
1395
01:27:03,802 --> 01:27:05,349
but that's what happened, Jimmy.
1396
01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:07,139
I love you.
1397
01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:08,682
(FOGHORN BLARES)
1398
01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:11,693
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- MAN: James!
1399
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:20,986
How do I know you won't fall out of love with me again?
1400
01:27:21,153 --> 01:27:23,326
I won't.
1401
01:27:27,451 --> 01:27:29,044
ELSPETH: I won't!
1402
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:39,006
(SINGS)
♪ if the polar ice is really melting
1403
01:27:41,965 --> 01:27:47,222
♪ If icebergs crack and tear apart
1404
01:27:50,724 --> 01:27:56,356
♪ If glaciers tumble to the ocean
1405
01:27:56,521 --> 01:28:00,116
♪ Why can't I melt
1406
01:28:00,275 --> 01:28:04,746
♪ The ice around your heart?
1407
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:08,159
♪ For as you sail away
1408
01:28:08,325 --> 01:28:13,707
♪ Your heart grows ever colder
1409
01:28:15,832 --> 01:28:23,262
♪ And even in the warm and changing sea
1410
01:28:24,674 --> 01:28:27,723
♪ And falling down
1411
01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:33,143
♪ Onto the lonely seabed
1412
01:28:33,308 --> 01:28:37,029
♪ ls a heart that once belonged
1413
01:28:37,187 --> 01:28:40,282
ITQ me
1414
01:28:40,440 --> 01:28:42,943
(JAMES AND ELSPETH SING)
♪ Where are the stars?
1415
01:28:43,109 --> 01:28:45,328
♪ Where is the sky?
1416
01:28:45,487 --> 01:28:49,663
♪ Where is the chart to guide us by?
1417
01:28:49,825 --> 01:28:51,418
♪ Where is the map?
1418
01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:54,580
♪ Where is the part
1419
01:28:54,746 --> 01:29:02,255
♪ Where I warm your frozen heart?
1420
01:29:04,798 --> 01:29:09,975
JAMES: ♪ Your parting words
are now an echo
1421
01:29:12,973 --> 01:29:18,275
♪ Now angry silence
says it all... ♪
1422
01:29:18,436 --> 01:29:20,484
(WHALE snues)
1423
01:29:22,148 --> 01:29:28,121
JAMES: ♪ Don't want to lose you
to the distance
1424
01:29:29,698 --> 01:29:32,952
♪ Baby, just hold onto me
1425
01:29:33,118 --> 01:29:36,793
♪ And we won't fall
1426
01:29:36,955 --> 01:29:40,710
♪ And as I sail away
1427
01:29:40,876 --> 01:29:46,007
♪ Your heart grows ever colder
1428
01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:55,104
♪ Shifting on
an ever-changing sea
1429
01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:59,395
BOTH: ♪ Where are the stars?
Where is the sky?
1430
01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:03,907
♪ Where is the chart to guide us by?
1431
01:30:04,065 --> 01:30:05,817
♪ Where is the map?
1432
01:30:05,984 --> 01:30:08,658
♪ Where is the part
1433
01:30:08,820 --> 01:30:14,748
♪ Where I warm your frozen heart?
1434
01:30:14,910 --> 01:30:17,004
♪ Where is the sky?
1435
01:30:17,162 --> 01:30:21,167
I Where are the stars to guide me by?
1436
01:30:21,333 --> 01:30:23,051
♪ Where is the map?
1437
01:30:23,209 --> 01:30:25,837
♪ Where is the part
1438
01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:34,004
♪ Where I warm your frozen heart?
1439
01:30:34,846 --> 01:30:41,525
♪ If the polar ice is really melting
1440
01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:49,992
♪ if icebergs crack and tear apart
1441
01:30:53,657 --> 01:30:59,255
♪ If glaciers tumble to the ocean
1442
01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:03,292
♪ Why can't I melt
1443
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:08,589
♪ The ice
around your heart? ♪
1444
01:31:08,755 --> 01:31:11,884
(ANGUISHED WHALE SONG)
1445
01:31:13,301 --> 01:31:15,269
What is that?
What's wrong with it?
1446
01:31:19,432 --> 01:31:22,356
BOY: Hey, that's mine!
That's mine!
1447
01:31:27,816 --> 01:31:30,114
- Welcome home.
- Neil! Hi.
1448
01:31:30,276 --> 01:31:32,620
Thanks.
1449
01:31:32,779 --> 01:31:35,032
- Did you get my present...
- Excuse me.
1450
01:31:35,198 --> 01:31:37,917
- Aren't you that girl?
- Uh, no.
1451
01:31:38,076 --> 01:31:41,626
WOMAN: You are. You're Elspeth.
I loved your show.
1452
01:31:41,788 --> 01:31:43,415
We were on the edge of our seats wondering
1453
01:31:43,581 --> 01:31:44,958
if James was gonna bonk that nanny.
1454
01:31:45,125 --> 01:31:47,594
WOMAN: Why'd you stop?
1455
01:31:47,752 --> 01:31:51,347
Um, technical difficulties.
1456
01:31:51,506 --> 01:31:53,600
So, what are you doing now?
1457
01:31:53,758 --> 01:31:55,806
Shopping-
1458
01:31:59,055 --> 01:32:01,934
WOMAN ON P.A.: Neil! Clean-up
in aisle five, please.
1459
01:32:03,059 --> 01:32:06,063
- Neil! Clean-up in aisle five.
- Coming!
1460
01:32:09,149 --> 01:32:13,370
WOMAN: Apparently, he just
packed up and moved out.
1461
01:32:13,528 --> 01:32:15,155
- With the babysitter?
- No, not Cherry.
1462
01:32:15,321 --> 01:32:17,164
- She's starting her own show.
- Oh, I heard that.
1463
01:32:17,323 --> 01:32:19,746
You know, I heard she knew about
the web cam the entire time.
1464
01:32:19,909 --> 01:32:21,707
No! I don't believe that.
1465
01:32:22,746 --> 01:32:25,295
- Speak of the devil.
- Oh, my God.
1466
01:32:28,084 --> 01:32:30,428
- Elspeth?
- Poor thing.
1467
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:35,514
Hi! It's Sophie,
from mothers group. Remember?
1468
01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:37,928
Do you want to have a coffee with us later or something?
1469
01:32:38,094 --> 01:32:41,689
Um... my ice-cream
is melting.
1470
01:32:43,808 --> 01:32:46,231
(DISTANT WHALE SONG)
1471
01:32:53,902 --> 01:32:56,906
(WHALE SONG GROWS CLOSER)
1472
01:33:04,954 --> 01:33:06,922
(WHALE SONG CONTINUES)
1473
01:33:30,980 --> 01:33:33,608
BOY: Daddy!
1474
01:33:38,780 --> 01:33:40,703
(WHALE some STOPS)
1475
01:33:40,865 --> 01:33:44,961
I recorded that this morning.
It's a humpback.
1476
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:46,918
Nobody knows exactly why he's doing it.
1477
01:33:47,080 --> 01:33:48,957
I think it's 'cause he's lost his mate.
1478
01:33:49,124 --> 01:33:51,923
I think he's trying to find his way back to her.
1479
01:33:52,085 --> 01:33:54,133
And nothing's gonna stop him
1480
01:33:54,295 --> 01:33:56,764
until he finds her again, 'cause she's...
1481
01:33:59,676 --> 01:34:02,475
...everything in the world
to him.
1482
01:34:45,889 --> 01:34:48,859
Ah!
(LAUGHS)
1483
01:34:59,777 --> 01:35:01,779
(JAMES CHUCKLES)
1484
01:35:10,705 --> 01:35:13,504
Daddy, Fred done poo!
1485
01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:18,881
(BOTH LAUGH)
1486
01:35:23,134 --> 01:35:26,183
- BOYS: Poo!
- Oh, good man!
1487
01:35:26,346 --> 01:35:28,974
- Well done!
- You've done a poo! Thank God!
1488
01:35:29,140 --> 01:35:30,733
- Fred, thank God.
- Good boy.
1489
01:35:30,892 --> 01:35:33,771
Good stuff. Well done.
1490
01:35:33,937 --> 01:35:35,655
Oh, I'm proud of you.
1491
01:35:35,813 --> 01:35:38,487
ELSPETH:
He still burns the toast.
1492
01:35:38,650 --> 01:35:41,620
He's mastered the ancient art of sock sorting.
1493
01:35:42,862 --> 01:35:44,535
He's really trying.
1494
01:35:44,697 --> 01:35:46,995
When he's away, he logs on.
1495
01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:50,833
He sees me.
He hears my sink songs.
1496
01:35:50,995 --> 01:35:53,168
Which, of course, you're all welcome to do.
1497
01:35:54,207 --> 01:35:57,677
(SINGS)
♪ Welcome to my kitchen sink
1498
01:35:57,835 --> 01:36:02,341
♪ This is where I stop and think
1499
01:36:02,507 --> 01:36:06,228
♪ Where I'm often on the brink
1500
01:36:06,386 --> 01:36:09,606
♪ Of madness... ♪
1501
01:36:09,764 --> 01:36:11,141
And if you're in the neighbourhood,
1502
01:36:11,307 --> 01:36:12,900
drop by and see us in the barn.
1503
01:36:13,059 --> 01:36:15,733
Details are on the website.
See you next week.
1504
01:36:15,895 --> 01:36:20,275
- ♪ Welcome to my washing-up
- ♪ Welcome to my washing-up
1505
01:36:20,441 --> 01:36:24,787
- ♪ My 40,000th coffee cup
- ♪ Her 40,000th coffee cup
1506
01:36:24,946 --> 01:36:28,667
♪ A place which knows my every sulk
1507
01:36:28,825 --> 01:36:32,796
- ♪ And sadness
- ♪ And sadness
1508
01:36:44,507 --> 01:36:46,726
♪ Here I'm stuck night after night
1509
01:36:46,884 --> 01:36:48,852
♪ Here I plot revenge and flight
1510
01:36:49,012 --> 01:36:53,108
♪ Here's the scene of wifely compromise
1511
01:36:55,476 --> 01:36:59,106
♪ Pine O Cleen and Lemon Gleam
1512
01:36:59,272 --> 01:37:03,322
♪ The kitchen sink is where I dream
1513
01:37:03,484 --> 01:37:11,164
♪ And where I fantastic. ♪
1514
01:37:11,326 --> 01:37:13,829
♪ Meet at five at Party Land
1515
01:37:13,995 --> 01:37:16,418
♪ Ring the changes
♪ Bring the band
1516
01:37:16,581 --> 01:37:20,256
♪ Come with me, dance with me, hand to hand
1517
01:37:20,418 --> 01:37:23,672
♪ Let's all have a party
1518
01:37:23,838 --> 01:37:27,684
♪ No fussing and no fighting
1519
01:37:27,842 --> 01:37:31,016
♪ And everyone's invited
1520
01:37:31,179 --> 01:37:34,353
♪ The loving's double-sided
1521
01:37:34,515 --> 01:37:36,984
♪ The circuit's overriding
1522
01:37:37,143 --> 01:37:40,397
♪ The cells are all dividing
♪ It's getting quite exciting
1523
01:37:40,563 --> 01:37:43,282
♪ The babes are all arriving
1524
01:37:43,441 --> 01:37:47,116
♪ Watch and learn
♪ Touch and yearn
1525
01:37:47,278 --> 01:37:51,749
♪ Boy, we're gonna make you burn, burn, burn
1526
01:37:51,908 --> 01:37:54,957
♪ Let's all have a party
1527
01:37:55,119 --> 01:37:58,419
♪ No fussing and no fighting
1528
01:37:58,581 --> 01:38:02,131
♪ And everyone's invited
1529
01:38:02,293 --> 01:38:05,843
♪ The loving's double-sided
1530
01:38:22,563 --> 01:38:25,533
♪ Join at the hip
♪ Slide and dip
1531
01:38:25,691 --> 01:38:28,911
♪ Let it all rip
♪ Work it out and flip
1532
01:38:29,070 --> 01:38:32,700
♪ Join at the hip
♪ Slide and dip
1533
01:38:32,865 --> 01:38:36,290
♪ Let it all rip
♪ Work it out and flip... ♪
1534
01:38:36,452 --> 01:38:39,581
(RHYTHMIC CLAPPING)
1535
01:38:52,009 --> 01:38:55,604
♪ Lady, get what you want
♪ Gentleman, what you want
1536
01:38:55,763 --> 01:38:58,812
♪ Baby, get what you want
♪ Baby, get what you need
1537
01:38:58,975 --> 01:39:01,103
♪ Lady, get what you want
1538
01:39:01,269 --> 01:39:03,897
♪ Gentleman, what you want
♪ Baby, get what you want
1539
01:39:04,063 --> 01:39:06,566
♪ Baby, get what you need
1540
01:39:06,732 --> 01:39:10,236
♪ Lady, get what you want
♪ Gentleman, what you want
1541
01:39:10,403 --> 01:39:12,121
♪ Baby, get what you want
1542
01:39:12,280 --> 01:39:14,157
♪ Baby, get what you need. ♪
1543
01:39:31,090 --> 01:39:32,933
(RONAN KEATING SINGS)
♪ I get up, go to work
1544
01:39:33,092 --> 01:39:34,810
♪ Put a smile on my face
1545
01:39:34,969 --> 01:39:37,643
♪ Don't know if the world's gonna give me an ace
1546
01:39:37,805 --> 01:39:42,561
♪ But it's alright if you're with me
1547
01:39:44,145 --> 01:39:47,615
♪ I look up to the sky, see the rain up ahead
1548
01:39:47,773 --> 01:39:50,993
♪ Didn't bring my umbrella, so I'm bound to get wet
1549
01:39:51,152 --> 01:39:55,532
♪ But it's alright if you're with me
1550
01:39:57,283 --> 01:40:00,537
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me
1551
01:40:00,703 --> 01:40:03,377
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close
1552
01:40:03,539 --> 01:40:07,260
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood
1553
01:40:07,418 --> 01:40:11,173
♪ 'Cause it ain't gonna work
1554
01:40:17,220 --> 01:40:20,394
I Back up, take a train all the way outta town
1555
01:40:20,556 --> 01:40:23,856
♪ Can't breathe when there's so many people around
1556
01:40:24,018 --> 01:40:28,319
♪ But it's alright if you're with me
1557
01:40:30,191 --> 01:40:33,195
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me
1558
01:40:33,361 --> 01:40:36,740
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close
1559
01:40:36,906 --> 01:40:40,126
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood
1560
01:40:40,284 --> 01:40:44,039
♪ 'Cause it ain't gonna work
1561
01:40:56,467 --> 01:40:59,721
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me
1562
01:40:59,887 --> 01:41:03,061
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close
1563
01:41:03,224 --> 01:41:06,273
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood
1564
01:41:06,435 --> 01:41:09,609
♪ 'Cause it ain't gonna work
1565
01:41:09,772 --> 01:41:12,946
♪ It's alright when I know that you're with me
1566
01:41:13,109 --> 01:41:16,113
♪ It's alright when I know that you're close
1567
01:41:16,279 --> 01:41:19,658
♪ I can't handle the world trying to ruin my mood
1568
01:41:19,824 --> 01:41:24,250
♪ 'Cause it ain't
gonna work. ♪
1569
01:41:56,444 --> 01:41:59,072
(RONAN KEATING SINGS)
♪ If you didn't do what you wanted to
1570
01:41:59,238 --> 01:42:02,708
♪ If you only did what everybody told you
1571
01:42:02,867 --> 01:42:05,245
♪ What would you be?
1572
01:42:05,411 --> 01:42:08,961
♪ You will always try
♪ You will always fly
1573
01:42:09,123 --> 01:42:12,172
♪ You will always look a tiger in the eye
1574
01:42:12,335 --> 01:42:15,054
♪ Take it from me
1575
01:42:15,212 --> 01:42:21,219
♪ I see in your eyes there's a movie of dreams
1576
01:42:21,385 --> 01:42:26,186
♪ See there is more to you than it first seems
1577
01:42:26,349 --> 01:42:31,105
♪ See you are brighter than all the moonbeams
1578
01:42:31,270 --> 01:42:33,238
♪ You know
1579
01:42:35,399 --> 01:42:40,280
♪ For you light up the darkness
♪ You glow
1580
01:42:40,446 --> 01:42:43,416
♪ Don't give up
♪ Don't give in
1581
01:42:43,574 --> 01:42:45,997
♪ Don't let go
1582
01:42:48,871 --> 01:42:51,545
♪ If you never say what you want to say
1583
01:42:51,707 --> 01:42:55,337
♪ If you only do it everybody else's way
1584
01:42:55,503 --> 01:42:58,177
♪ Who would you be?
1585
01:42:58,339 --> 01:43:01,639
♪ If you never shout
♪ If you never doubt
1586
01:43:01,801 --> 01:43:05,431
♪ If you never rock the boat until we all fall out
1587
01:43:05,596 --> 01:43:07,940
♪ Do it for me
1588
01:43:08,099 --> 01:43:13,651
♪ For when you are quiet, it troubles my mind
1589
01:43:13,771 --> 01:43:18,868
♪ Though life is sometimes bitter as a lemon rind
1590
01:43:19,026 --> 01:43:21,199
I You'll have a voice
1591
01:43:21,362 --> 01:43:23,660
♪ That is one of a kind
1592
01:43:23,823 --> 01:43:25,871
♪ You know
1593
01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:32,791
♪ Oh, you light up the darkness
♪ You glow
1594
01:43:32,957 --> 01:43:36,052
♪ Don't give up
♪ Don't give in
1595
01:43:36,210 --> 01:43:40,886
♪ Don't let go. ♪
115313
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