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Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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I had sex with your dad.What?
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00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:05,788
And I was in a really low place,
like,
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00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,137
the lowest place
I've ever been in my life.
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00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:08,138
I can't believe that happened.
Why did you do that?
6
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:10,532
Bert is in charge,
and that's that.
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00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:12,055
I'm enjoying it
so much around here.
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00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,796
I've just made a few changes.
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00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:14,971
Maybe I can find you
some good people.
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[phone chimes]A match.
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00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,060
Check it out.
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00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,541
Oh, my God, that's Jason.
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00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:20,890
I've been on a date
with this guy.
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00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:21,978
I still have
this guy's number.
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00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,110
Maybe I'll text him back.
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00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:24,981
I am going to get you
out of here.
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00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,374
Probably be
able to do it
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00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:27,462
before you do Cats.
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00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,507
[laughs]
I would never do Cats.
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00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,118
We should do Cats. Yeah.
Let's do Cats.
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Delightful.
Who cares if there's no plot?
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♪ Meet Rebecca
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00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:40,388
♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world, wait ♪
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00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:43,913
♪ Wrong Rebecca
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00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,089
♪ It's this one over here
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00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,961
♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪
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00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,486
♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪
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00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,096
Hmm.♪ Okay, she's snarky
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00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,229
♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪
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♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
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00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:02,105
♪ Meet Rebecca
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00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:05,021
♪ She's too hard
to summarize ♪
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00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,632
♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪
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00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:10,461
I'm dating my uncle.
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00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,467
[laptop keys clicking]
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00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,347
There it is.
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"Woman Demands Three
Simultaneous Partners,
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As Is Her Right."
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Classic SheSmash title.
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[saxophone playing]
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I will see you all at the
same time, in my chambers.
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Do I have your consent?
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Mm-hmm.
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Oh, yeah. She's gonna get it,
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from three men at the same
time-- as is her right.
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I sentence you to pleasure,
with no chance of early release.
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00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:52,938
Oh, yeah.
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00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,377
Your Honor, it would be my honor
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00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,206
to get you off
for good behavior.
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Let's review my penal code.
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00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,341
Motion to proceed
with my motion.
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00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,475
Ooh, yeah.
Ooh, this is gonna be great.
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You've broken up with me
too many times. I'm done.
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I'm your ex-fiancé/roommate.
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And you stalked me.
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We could never be anything.
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00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:18,964
GREG:
You slept with my dad.
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00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:21,663
There's no coming back
from that.
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00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:24,361
Okay, too complicated
to fantasize about these guys.
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00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:27,364
Should've clicked on
lesbian sleepover instead.
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What?[computer popping]
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NEWS REPORTER:
Tonight, on KPUX...[groans]
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...feral cats are swarming
the San Gabriel Valley.
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They look cute, but can be
lethal. What you can do
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to protect your loved ones
and domesticated animals
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00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,337
from these ferocious felines,
tonight at 10:00.
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[groans]
I hate cats.
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Both the animal and the musical.
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This was a bust.
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[wind gusting]
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[cats meowing in distance]
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♪
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♪ When day is night
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00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,624
♪ And night is not day
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00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:14,803
♪ That's when the cats
come out to play ♪
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♪ Yes, we are the feral cats
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♪ Roaming
West Covina's streets ♪
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♪ Singing songs
about ourselves ♪
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♪ Over early '80s
Broadway beats ♪
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[shouts, pants]
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♪ I am the Hungry Cat
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♪ I haven't eaten in months
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♪ I'm roaming
through the streets ♪
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♪ Looking for something
to munch ♪
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♪ I'm filled with desire
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♪ I need to be fed
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♪ Don't be mad
if you find crumbs ♪
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♪ 'Cause I like to eat in bed
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♪ I'm a lonely little kitty
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♪ Stroke my fur,
it's soft as silk ♪
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00:03:58,194 --> 00:04:01,415
♪ Then bring me
what I really want ♪
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00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,591
♪ A saucer of your milk
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00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:06,333
♪ It's nibble time, Mister
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00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,857
♪ We don't need
to chase or chat ♪
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♪ My cavity needs filling
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♪ 'Cause I'm the Hungry
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♪ Cat.
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[shouts, sighs]
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00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:20,651
That was so weird.
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00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:22,262
What did that mean?
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[wind gusting]
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I think you know.
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[shouts]
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00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:31,619
Oh, I need to get laid.
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Yeah.
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GREG:
Hey, thanks for letting me
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crash at your place
while I figure things out.
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00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,670
It's a little awkward
between me and my dad right now.
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00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,324
Mm, yeah. Yeah,
that makes sense.
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00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,673
He slept with your
ex-girlfriend.
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00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:43,674
It's probably a
little complicated.
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00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,676
Yeah.
It happens, I guess?
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No, it does not happen.
People's dads do not go to bars
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and take their son's
ex-girlfriend
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00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,247
to their 50-and-over
retirement community...
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00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,162
Okay, no details, please.
I don't like thinking about it.
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00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,207
I'm trying hard
to take the high road.
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00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:57,601
I mean, intellectually,
I understand how it happened.
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00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,951
My dad and Rebecca were both
at their lowest point.
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00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,476
I mean, she tried to commit
suicide and he hasn't had
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00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,608
a drink since,
but I just can't get past it.
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00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:07,132
It's super gross and upsetting.
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00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,525
Yeah, yeah.
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00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,353
Well, at least you only have
to get past it with him.
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00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,661
You and Rebecca, that ship has
sailed and sunk, right?
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00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:16,664
Right, right, right.
Yeah, obviously.You know what?
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00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:19,362
You should do what I always do
if I'm feeling sad
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00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:22,452
or happy or confused or tired...
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00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,149
Work out?Yeah. How did you know that?
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00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,890
Uh, cause you work out
constantly,
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00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,631
and when you stir your coffee,
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00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,241
about 80 different muscles
ripple.
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00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,852
Oh, thank you. Feels amazing.
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00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,680
I can only imagine
how good it looks.
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00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,725
You know what? You want to
work out, I will hook you up.
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00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,640
I can get you a free
one-month pass at my gym.
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00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,686
Hmm. Not that generous an offer.
138
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,949
There's literally a stack
of one-month passes on the bar.
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00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,559
You saw those.
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00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,562
REBECCA:
You know, spinning is the most
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00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:46,868
efficient way to get in shape.
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00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,522
It can burn up to
a thousand calories per class.
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00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,263
That's why I'm taking
two classes a day.
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00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:53,527
Two classes a day?
That's a little extreme.
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00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,833
Even I don't do two classes
a day and look at me.
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00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:57,922
I mean, look at me,
I'm so good at spinning.
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00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,403
I'm trying to tone up to get
naked in front of strangers.
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00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,449
What?
I got to get laid
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00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,059
by someone
I haven't laid already.
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00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,148
I got to stop
thinking about my exes,
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00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,671
move on from those
same three people.
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00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,107
Yeah, you need someone new.
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00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,806
But please don't sleep
with my dad, Rebecca.
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00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,329
[laughs]
Eh.
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00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,548
Seriously. I need you to say it.
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00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,854
Okay, I won't sleep with Jorge.
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00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,290
Even though
he does have
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00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,118
kind eyes
and a beautiful corazón.
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00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,643
I'm kidding.
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00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,688
God, I'm so sweaty.
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Well, maybe that's because
you work out
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in those cheap-ass heat-trapping
synthetic leggings?
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00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,433
Well, you know what?
Spinning's expensive,
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00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,696
and I've had a significant
downgrade in income recently.
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00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,132
See: lawyer to pretzel maker.
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00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:35,438
Mm.
So I have to compromise.
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I got these babies
three for five dollars.
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00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,877
Anyway, back to sexy time.
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00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:42,184
So I have the perfect clean
slate sex candidate in mind:
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00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,446
You remember
that guy Jason?
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00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,187
I talked about him in New York?The one who
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00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,928
canceled on you last minute?
That "I'm sick" excuse
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00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,451
was clearly a lie.
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00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,583
That's what I thought, too,
but then,
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00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,149
he's actually been texting me,
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00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,413
to try to prove he was sick.
Look at this picture.Ooh.
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00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:57,112
Is that a selfie of him barfing?
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00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,070
Yes. Yes, it is. And also,
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00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:01,682
he sent me this one.
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00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:04,206
Oh! That is several photos
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00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,513
of him pooping
in a public trash can.
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00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,645
He was trying to prove to me
that he wasn't lying.
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00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:09,777
And when he sent me
these pictures,
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00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,561
he said
"the proof is in the pudding."
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That's cute, right?
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We are such
very, very different people.
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00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,261
[exhales]:
Oh...
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00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,699
Jason, you are nice, and single,
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00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,657
and I know from our first date
with him a couple years ago
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00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,832
that he's not a murderer.
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00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,007
And that's what
I'm looking for right now:
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00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,488
not my exes, not a murderer.
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00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,011
Okay. Let's go.
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00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,057
You know what? Actually, I'm
gonna stay for the next class.
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00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,494
You know, these thighs are not
gonna un-jiggle themselves.
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00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,669
So watch out, Valencia.
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00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,497
Rebecca's getting her mojo back.
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00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,498
Meow.
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00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,326
[chuckles]
Bye. Bye.
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00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,415
[grunts]
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00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,156
It's always hard to get
the feet in right.
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00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,985
[laughs]
Oh, hello.
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00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,641
♪
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00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:50,731
[elevator chimes]
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00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,863
Hey, all. Guess who's back!
206
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:56,519
Whoa. Why is the conference
table out here?
207
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,435
What happened? What, did some
millennial startup take over?
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00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,610
Where is everyone?
209
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:01,959
[indistinct chatter]
210
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:07,008
Oh, a party for me.
Oh, you guys are too much.
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00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,314
What a bunch of cuties.
212
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,710
Aww, you guys...
213
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,843
Hey.Hey. How's the baby?
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00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,061
Welcome back.Oh, she's good.
215
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:18,672
Oh, look at all this.
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00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,588
This is so nice. For me?
217
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:22,763
Well...
218
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,199
Um, actually...
219
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,243
What's different about you?
220
00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:28,203
Why do you look
weaker?
221
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,901
Oh, I know, it's your 'stache.
It's gone.
222
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,120
Oh.
223
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,730
Huh. [tongue clicks]
Aww.
224
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,384
I'm growing it back.
225
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,386
I just had a little
barbecue saucemergency.
226
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,693
Or is it
a barbecue saucetastrophe?
227
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,999
You mean a saucepocalypse?Mm-hmm.
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00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,044
Shut your peach fuzz face,
he's coming. Oh!
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00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,089
Who's coming?Shh!
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00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:48,745
ALL:
Happy Bert-day!
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00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,791
[laughter, applause]
232
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,662
Wow! Oh, my God.
233
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,491
What? Bert-day? It's birthday.
234
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,624
No, it's Bert-day.
235
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,364
Why do you keep saying it
like that? Are you a baby?
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00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:04,718
No. And Bert-day is a party to
celebrate Bert's work-a-versary.
237
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,676
How nice for Bert.[chuckles]
238
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,896
Wow. And look at that
lustrous facial hair.
239
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,942
Where'd you get
that idea? [laughs]
240
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,553
From you, of course.
241
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,816
Darryl, we are
so happy to see you.
242
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:18,470
I wish you would have told us
that you were coming back today.
243
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,863
We would've planned something.
244
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,038
DARRYL:
Oh,
245
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,823
that's so...Oh, you guys, before I forget,
246
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:26,217
since we have the new conference
table, the old conference room
247
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,480
is now gonna be
the ping-pong room.
248
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:29,481
[all gasping]What?
249
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,613
You got us something
on your day?
250
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,136
The man just
doesn't stop giving.
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00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,964
Yeah, it's fun.PAULA: Well,
happy Bert-day.
252
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,792
Yeah, happy Bert-day.Bert...
253
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,141
Oh! Come on, you guys.
254
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:39,317
Oh. Sorry.
BERT: This is so sweet of you.
255
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,885
[laughter]
256
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:48,936
You have a good day back?
257
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:53,505
I'm nice now.
I don't know if you heard that.
258
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:54,898
It's a bummer
you came on Bert-day.
259
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,291
Yeah, I wish I had known.
260
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,336
Kind of disappointing.
But I'm okay.
261
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,729
All right.
Glad to hear it.
262
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:02,427
I'm sorry, I got to run.
I'm off to the gym.
263
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:07,389
Did we do it? Do I need
to keep talking to you here?
264
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,999
I'm still adjusting
to this whole
265
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,827
being interested in others
thing.
266
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,437
No, I'm fine.Okay.
267
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,657
I'm fine.All right. Okay.
268
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,006
Enjoy the rest of Bert-day.
269
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:16,920
Sorry.
270
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,922
Reflex.
271
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,585
WHITE JOSH:
All right, man, all right.
272
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,632
Here we go.Okay. So I just pick these up
and put them down
273
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,635
and pick these up and put them
down, and that's how it works?
274
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,462
No sarcasm. Greg. It's a gym.
275
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:38,812
No one will understand
what you're saying.
276
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,683
[both chuckle]Okay.
277
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,599
All right. I'm glad
you took me up on my offer.
278
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,775
The gym is a drama-free zone,
so you're not gonna have to
279
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,473
think about your dad
or about Rebecca
280
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,998
or your dad with Rebecca--
quick question:
281
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,739
was the oxygen tank
near the bed--
282
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,044
don't answer that,
don't know why I asked.
283
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,916
I'll see you at home.
Have fun, don't get hurt.
284
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,221
Okay, well, unless I find out
285
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:59,006
you also slept
with my dad, I'm fine.
286
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:00,442
Oh, no. You heard?
287
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:03,053
Go away. Get out of here.All right. See you later.
288
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,099
[exhales]
289
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,675
REBECCA:
Wait, no way.
290
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:18,286
You like Space Jam?
I loved Space Jamas a kid.
291
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,288
Oh, I love it, too.
MJ was my hero.
292
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,856
In elementary school, I wore
a Bulls hat every single day.
293
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,162
He's the greatest player
of all time. Sorry, LeBron.
294
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,598
Yeah, I don't care about
basketball, but I had
295
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,078
such a crush
on Marvin the Martian.
296
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,253
I mean, a man
who wears a skirt?
297
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:32,126
Ugh, so secure, such a turn-on.
298
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,910
[chuckles]
You are such a weirdo.
299
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:36,696
I'm the weirdo,
trash can pooper?
300
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,045
Hey, I got applause.
There were a lot of people
301
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,307
on the street that day.
302
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:41,613
[laughs]
303
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,314
Are-are you okay? What's wrong?
304
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,359
♪
305
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,234
♪ You thought you were done
306
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,845
♪ With our whispered cat verse
307
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,021
♪ But we're not done with you
308
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,719
♪ Now grab your purse.
309
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,503
I just got to grab my purse
and go to the bathroom.
310
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:02,765
I'll be right back.
311
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:05,768
Okay.
312
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:08,205
[moans]
Oh, oh, no...
313
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,425
Oh, my God,
what is wrong with me?
314
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,775
Oh, you know what it is.
315
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,386
Miss, can you spare a paw?
316
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,084
You wore those cheap suffocating
workout pants
317
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:20,261
and made a cozy cul-de-sac
for some yeast.
318
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,479
Yeast? No, no, no, no.
319
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,003
Not tonight, not tonight.
Please.
320
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,135
♪
321
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:28,399
♪ If you haven't guessed,
I'm the Itchy Cat ♪
322
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,619
♪ Need aloe or some Monistat
323
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,490
♪ Otherwise I'll stay
and Moni-scat ♪
324
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,883
♪ Scabbadoo, babadoo,
skeedlelee ♪
325
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:36,233
♪ Scratchy, scratchy
scatty scratch ♪
326
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:38,061
♪ You wore those
cheap, old shoddy pants ♪
327
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,455
♪ Now I'm doing
an experimental itchy dance ♪
328
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,196
♪ I have to hide myself away
329
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:44,241
♪ This feline can't
come out to play ♪
330
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,940
♪ So get me
some lotion potion stat ♪
331
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,159
♪ To scratch
this scratchy scatty cat ♪
332
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,988
♪ This itchy scratchy
scatty cat ♪
333
00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:54,121
♪ Get that dissolving egg
that runs ♪
334
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,731
♪ Down your leg so I can stop
335
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,733
♪ Being the Itchy Cat.
336
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,561
Go away, Itchy Cat.
Scram!
337
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:02,433
Stop ruining my vagina
like you ruined musicals!
338
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,347
[hisses]
339
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,873
Thank you.
340
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:10,093
Oh, but I want to have sex.
341
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:13,009
This sucks more than the song
about what makes a Jellicle cat
342
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:16,186
and then it just goes on to
describe literally any cat.
343
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,069
[exhales]
344
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,722
You need the 40s?
345
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,681
Oh, no, I'm not gonna need those
because I can't lift them
346
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:33,900
'cause they're too heavy.
347
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,902
[chuckles]
You just getting back into it?
348
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,513
Uh, yeah, I used to be way
into gym, but only gym class,
349
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,123
and only on badminton day.
350
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,690
Well, good on you for, uh,
hitting the gym again.
351
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:42,952
You know what they say.
352
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,346
The road to fitness
is one pound at a time.
353
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:46,651
Hmm.But don't use
the one-pound weights.
354
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,653
You'll embarrass yourself.[chuckles]
355
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,655
I'm Nathaniel.Oh. Greg.
356
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:51,874
That's gross.Yeah, sweaty.
357
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,354
Why did we do that?I'm not sure.
358
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,138
All right.
359
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:56,400
Okay.
360
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,021
I'm so sorry.
While I was in there,
361
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:11,676
I checked my calendar
and I totally forgot
362
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,026
that I have a business trip
tomorrow
363
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,462
and my flight leaves
364
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,767
uh, super early.
365
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,421
Huh. What kind of business trip
366
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,858
do you have in the pretzel biz?
367
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:23,210
I got to go see my salt man
in Idaho.
368
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,038
Idaho.
369
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,474
Yeah, well,
'cause of the potatoes.
370
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:29,346
That's also where
a lot of salt is centered.
371
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,348
Oh. I get it.
372
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,872
Oh, no. I know it seems
like I'm lying.
373
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,178
It does. It really, really does.I'm really not, though.
374
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,833
Look, um... three days. Just,
375
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,182
let's set another date
in three days.
376
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,488
I'm sure that's all it'll take
377
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,620
to clear up my...
my salty business.
378
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:43,839
Sound good?
379
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,885
Great. It's a date.
380
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,974
Great.
381
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,192
[sighs]
382
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,592
Hey, Maya.
383
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,202
How you doin', girl?
384
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,726
Oh, you know me,
Just living. [chuckles]
385
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,294
What do you say we hit
Spice Girls karaoke
386
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,861
this Saturday?[gasps]
387
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,124
I finally memorized
the rap in "Wannabe."
388
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,996
I just listened to it
while I was sleeping.
389
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:12,302
Oh, D-Money, this Saturday?
390
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,303
What, are you busy?
391
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:14,609
BERT:
Maya,
392
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,393
I got that Rioja from "Ethpaña"
393
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:19,353
you wanted for Wine with Whine
dinner on Saturday.
394
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,615
Oh!Wine with what?
395
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,486
Our Wine with Whine dinner.
396
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,489
It's a weekly thing where we get
together, drink delicious vino
397
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,665
and talk openly
about our work frustrations
398
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:31,017
in front of our super
supportive superior, Bert.
399
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,976
I wanted to call it Sipping With
Your Super Supportive Superior
400
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,544
Saturday Soiree,
but Paula punched me.
401
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:38,981
But Maya, if you do it every
week, you could skip it once
402
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,288
to hang
with your good buddy Darryl.
403
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,116
Bert, you wouldn't mind,
would you?
404
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,552
Well, it's not up to me.
405
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,075
It's up to this young lady
right here.
406
00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,598
And I think
she's old enough to choose
407
00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:49,644
who she wants
to spend her weekends with.
408
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:50,862
Come on, M-Dog.
409
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:53,300
What do you say?No pressure.
410
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,433
Uh,
411
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,479
uh...Come on.
412
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,614
I don't want to disappoint
either of you.
413
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,008
But I do love
Spice Girls karaoke night,
414
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,750
and I kill that Ginger Spice
solo in "2 Become 1."
415
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,753
But this week has been maj,
and I really need my Whine time.
416
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,711
I got to go with Bert
and his Rioja.
417
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,017
I'm so sorry.
418
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,063
Oh. Okay.
No, that's totally fine.
419
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,716
I get it.
I totally...
420
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,327
[laughs]:
I...
421
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,068
Is it true?Oh, it's fantastic.
422
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,852
It's a 2015...
423
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,334
[groans]
424
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:29,031
Ooh, it burns, it burns,
burns...
425
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,033
Ah...
426
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,079
[door opens]JOSH: Got it!
427
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,648
Oh, thank you for going
to the drugstore for me.
428
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:38,998
I'm so uncomfortable,
I can barely walk.
429
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,435
It's just chafe, chafe,
burn, burn.
430
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,437
It's no problem.
I used to get this for Valencia.
431
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,047
She said it was hand cream,
but I have two sisters,
432
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,570
I know it's for foot fungus.
433
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:49,008
Yeah. E-Exactly.
434
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,358
My feet are so gross right now.
435
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,838
That's why I'm, uh,
wearing socks.
436
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:59,540
All right,
"results in one to seven days"?
437
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,107
No, no, no, no.
My date's in three days.
438
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:04,197
I need my... piggies to be
all healed up by then.
439
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,459
You know what I do
when I get athlete's foot
440
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,069
is I double down
on the healing treatments
441
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,375
so I can get
back to karate.
442
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,681
I spray, I soak,
I powder, I sun.
443
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,074
Well, the sun part's
just because
444
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,076
I like how my feet look tan.
[chuckles]
445
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,252
Double down.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
446
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,472
Can you go get me
another box of this?
447
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:21,257
Sure.Great.
448
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:26,045
Oh, God, that tastes
like chalky metal sand.
449
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,612
Thanks for buying it
for me, I guess?
450
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:31,093
Well, thanks for spotting me.
I mean, you did drop the bar
451
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,922
on my chest a couple times, but
you're-you're getting better.
452
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,228
Yeah, I got to say,
this whole working out thing's
453
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,012
actually making me
feel a lot better.
454
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,014
About what?
What's your damage, anyway?
455
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,408
I mean, clearly you want to talk
about it and I'm nice now,
456
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:44,106
so what's the matter?
457
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,586
It's actually...
it's a long story.
458
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,805
I-I had a weird thing
happen with an ex.
459
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,285
You did? So did I.
460
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:50,504
I mean, I don't know
if mine was weird
461
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:54,203
as much as... devastating.
462
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,075
Oh, no, mine was that, too.[chuckles]
463
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,380
God.Women.
464
00:17:57,424 --> 00:18:00,601
Can't... say adages
about them anymore.
465
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,037
No, you can't.Yeah.
466
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,344
All right. See you.All right. Take care.
467
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,915
Hey. Look at you,
a regular gym rat now.
468
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,961
Yeah, I don't even know
how you could recognize me.
469
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:14,223
I'm so damn fit.
470
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,790
[laughs]Hey, I'm kind
of digging
471
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:18,140
this gym thing, and I think
I actually met a new friend.
472
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,012
What? Come on.
See, gyms are great.
473
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,362
Although do wash
your hands frequently
474
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:23,798
and don't touch your face.
475
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,713
Someone died from
a staph infection last year.
476
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:28,194
Danny, engage your core!
477
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,240
You know what? What are you
doing? Stop it, stop it.
478
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,850
Oh...NATHANIEL:
Did I leave my towel out here?
479
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,635
Oh, yeah. It's right here, bud.
480
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,420
Oh, no, Danny. This is bad.
481
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,422
All right, leg day tomorrow?Yeah. Ready to do it.
482
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,294
Well, we'll see you then.I'm still sore
from the other day.
483
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,123
See my new friend?
484
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,777
Huh? What? No. Nope.
485
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:49,171
Me, Greg,
I made a new friend in town.
486
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,042
I haven't done that
since kindergarten.
487
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,174
Yeah.And it's all
488
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,958
because of you.[laughs]
489
00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,569
Awesome.
490
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,223
Oh, no. What have I done?
491
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,099
[indistinct conversation]Oh, God.
Look at them.
492
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,057
What is the big deal
about this friendship?
493
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:08,886
You haven't stopped
talking about it for days.
494
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:11,237
You don't understand. Nathaniel
just became a nice person.
495
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,195
This could push him
straight back to doucheville.
496
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:16,851
And Greg is sober now
and is very fragile
497
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,461
after the whole Rebecca
with his dad thing.
498
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,289
It's so hard
for both of them
499
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,291
to make new guy friends.
500
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,728
[groans]
Straight people are so tragic.
501
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,643
Babe, just introduce them.
502
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,341
They're adults,
they'll understand.
503
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,212
I know I should, but I can't.
504
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,172
Look at them, they're
so happy together.
505
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:34,782
Oh, God, they just think
they're regular friends.
506
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,088
I can't, I can't do it.
I can't do anything.
507
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,090
All I can do is just stand here,
508
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,702
watching two trains
slowly collide.
509
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:48,491
Mm. Looks nice in here.
510
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:50,276
Yeah. Jason's picking me up,
511
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,278
so I want the place
to look nice and tidy.
512
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:55,455
Here you go, baby. Got you some
nice organic cotton leggings.
513
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,891
Try those next time.
514
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,414
Thank you.You feeling
any better down there?
515
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,851
So much. I was in such
a hurry to get better,
516
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,897
I kind of blitzkrieged
the entire infection.
517
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,725
Mm-hmm.So not only did double ointment,
518
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,248
but I also did
some home remedies
519
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,554
like an apple cider
vinegar bath,
520
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,295
I took the strongest probiotic
I could find,
521
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,906
plus, I took an old antibiotic
from a sinus infection
522
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,299
just in case.That's a lot.
523
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,562
Yeah, so the itch is now gone.
524
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,216
Oh, and I'm feeling so good.
525
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,608
I'm really excited
to sleep with Jason
526
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,871
and stop thinking
about my exes, you know?Mm-hmm.
527
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,268
[quietly]:
See? I feel nothing.
528
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,314
["We Should Definitely Not
Have Sex Right Now" playing]
529
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:34,929
[grunts]
530
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,713
Hey, V.
531
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:41,457
[door closes]Okay, I did feel a little twinge
of something on that.
532
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:45,287
Oh, yeah, I felt it, too.
He's still Josh, but he fine.
533
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,681
Mm, you're right.
You're right.
534
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:51,685
Ugh, this underwear keeps
messing up the line of my dress.
535
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,904
You know what?
536
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:55,732
What are you doing?I'm not gonna be wearing
the dress for that long.
537
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:56,994
Might as well, right?
538
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:02,304
Girl, no.What's wrong?
539
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,350
You need to ask yourself that.
540
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:07,831
There is a terrible smell.
541
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,311
And...[knocking]
542
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,226
Put 'em back on, put the
panties back on. Now, now, now!
543
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,271
Okay.
544
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:14,055
Oh, no.Mm-hmm.
545
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,448
Oh, I smell it, too.Yep.
546
00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,145
Oh, that's...
Oh, that's bad.
547
00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:19,103
It smells worse than the
wedged-in plot device
548
00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:20,583
of the Heaviside Layer.[knocking continues]
549
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:22,846
Ju... Uh, coming, Jason.
550
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,023
Oh. I thought you said,
551
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,330
"Come in, Jason."[both chuckling]
552
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:29,331
Maybe he won't
notice.[exclaims]
553
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,638
Wow, you look
beautiful.
554
00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:33,640
Oh, my God, thank you.
555
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:35,598
Oh. I thought we were
going out for dinner.
556
00:21:35,642 --> 00:21:37,557
Did you make a
tuna casserole?
557
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,342
Maybe. I-I'm just gonna
go to the bathroom.
558
00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:41,909
Valencia, will you please
entertain my guest
559
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:43,432
and maybe open some windows?
Okay, thanks.
560
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:53,486
♪ Oh! What is
that smell? ♪
561
00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:55,096
♪ Seems like
562
00:21:55,139 --> 00:21:57,228
♪ Something funky's going on
563
00:21:58,447 --> 00:22:00,319
♪ Well, I'm the Funky Cat
564
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,451
♪ And I appear
565
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:05,280
♪ When something funky's
566
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,238
♪ Going on around here, yes
567
00:22:07,282 --> 00:22:09,980
♪ Something funky's
568
00:22:10,024 --> 00:22:11,417
♪ In the air
569
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:13,854
♪ More specifically,
it's coming from ♪
570
00:22:13,897 --> 00:22:15,899
♪ Right there
571
00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:18,772
♪ I know all the funkiest
572
00:22:18,815 --> 00:22:20,077
♪ Party spots
573
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:22,036
♪ I may be cool
574
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:24,691
♪ But I'm burning hot
575
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:26,823
♪ Funky cat
576
00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:28,782
♪ Is all the rage
577
00:22:28,825 --> 00:22:33,352
♪ When something's off
with your pH ♪
578
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,397
♪ Yeah, I'm having fun
579
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,007
♪ I'm living large
580
00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:39,140
♪ Just oozing sex
581
00:22:39,183 --> 00:22:41,272
♪ And green discharge
582
00:22:41,316 --> 00:22:43,144
♪ I dance now
583
00:22:43,187 --> 00:22:45,102
[grunts]
584
00:22:45,146 --> 00:22:46,365
Ha! Ha!
585
00:22:48,454 --> 00:22:50,456
[laughs]
586
00:22:50,499 --> 00:22:52,414
♪ Well if you don't like
587
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,373
♪ The smell of me
588
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,723
♪ You better get to a doctor
589
00:22:56,766 --> 00:22:59,247
♪ On the count of three
590
00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:01,249
♪ One, two
591
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:03,512
♪ Three-- Funky Cat.
592
00:23:03,556 --> 00:23:06,515
Hmm. Did she
panfry some trout?
593
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:08,387
Is-is that
what it is?
594
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,911
No, it's not
a river fish.
595
00:23:10,954 --> 00:23:12,478
Can't put my
finger on it.
596
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:13,783
Nor should you.
597
00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:18,484
If everyone could just
listen for a second.
598
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:19,963
It's my time to whine.
599
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,617
So, what people
don't understand is,
600
00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:23,358
I have very sensitive
finger skin.
601
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,707
Oh.So, when I'm
filing documents--
602
00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:26,579
I'm very often
filing documents--
603
00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:27,971
it's a bloody mess.
604
00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:30,452
But then, I'm told by Paula
605
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,106
that wearing gloves
606
00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:34,238
to file is "weird."
607
00:23:34,282 --> 00:23:36,066
No, no, no.
I never said that.
608
00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:37,981
I said it was "creepy."
609
00:23:38,025 --> 00:23:40,419
Then I asked if you were
gonna murder the papers
610
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,421
because you looked
like a serial killer.
611
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:43,944
You were just... He...
No, he was spurting bloodOh...
612
00:23:43,987 --> 00:23:45,249
all over the briefs.
613
00:23:45,293 --> 00:23:47,251
Spurt?George, if
you'd like gloves,
614
00:23:47,295 --> 00:23:48,775
I'll provide them
and Paula, you can pick
615
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:51,342
a color that you find
festive and comforting.[gasps]
616
00:23:51,386 --> 00:23:53,301
Fuchsia gloves
for George.
617
00:23:53,344 --> 00:23:54,998
Hooray! Thank you, Bert.
618
00:23:55,042 --> 00:23:57,174
Cheers, everyone.
Cheers.
619
00:23:57,218 --> 00:24:00,482
Oh, hey, guys.
I know you're having an event.
620
00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:03,267
I just came by with
a little something for everyone.
621
00:24:03,311 --> 00:24:05,052
Okay, here we go, rapid fire.
622
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,837
Maya, rainbow
eye shadow palette.
623
00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:10,710
Jim, electronic drum pad.
624
00:24:10,753 --> 00:24:14,496
George, hot water bottle
shaped like a '40s pinup.
625
00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,455
Paula, lightweight merino shawl
626
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:18,544
embroidered with butterflies.
627
00:24:18,587 --> 00:24:20,197
Oh!And Bert--
628
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,982
I got you dirt.
629
00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:23,505
It's like a pet rock,
630
00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:25,420
but it's dirt.
[chuckles] Get it?
631
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,770
Wow, thank you, Darryl.
I was looking for
632
00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:29,424
a playmate for my pet sand.
633
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,557
Oh.Great, Darryl. Thanks.
But I've been
634
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,428
sitting on my whine all night.
635
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,038
I don't like the sandwich guy.
636
00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:36,300
[gasps]Bread is wet,
637
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:37,911
everything has mayo,
which is basically
638
00:24:37,954 --> 00:24:39,521
chicken embryo mucus
mixed with oil.
639
00:24:39,565 --> 00:24:43,090
I hear you, I understand,
and aioli want to help.
640
00:24:43,133 --> 00:24:44,526
Oh!Oh, good one, boss!
641
00:24:44,570 --> 00:24:45,658
[indistinct chatter]
642
00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:48,095
Ah, yeah, but what
about the presents?
643
00:24:48,138 --> 00:24:49,488
We know what's inside.No, we know what's in it.
644
00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:50,445
Okay, okay.
Um, uh...
645
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,186
How about this?
I'm taking...
646
00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:55,537
everyone to Disneyland!
[laughs] Right now.
647
00:24:55,581 --> 00:24:56,582
Except for Bert, of course.
648
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:58,018
You can eat ice cream,
you can stay up
649
00:24:58,061 --> 00:24:59,889
as late as you want,
I'll buy you any toy you want.
650
00:24:59,933 --> 00:25:01,630
No, a toy? Please.
651
00:25:01,674 --> 00:25:03,545
We are not children.
652
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:06,069
Although I would love
a Moana, actually.DARRYL: Oh?
653
00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:08,550
She is gonna make
such an amazing chief someday.
654
00:25:08,594 --> 00:25:09,856
So, guys, come on.
Come with me.
655
00:25:09,899 --> 00:25:11,074
Darryl.Hmm?
656
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:13,250
This is my event
and we're not done.
657
00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:14,861
Maybe you can
wait until
658
00:25:14,904 --> 00:25:16,515
it's your time.
This is my time.
659
00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:19,561
[chuckles weakly]
Trigger alert.
660
00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:21,389
I know what's going on here.
661
00:25:21,432 --> 00:25:23,086
My parents are divorced
and I was often
662
00:25:23,130 --> 00:25:24,740
a pawn in their conflict
and it was...
663
00:25:24,784 --> 00:25:26,220
[weak chuckle]
sometimes kind of nice,
664
00:25:26,263 --> 00:25:29,571
because I got everything
I ever wanted.
665
00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:30,790
But nothing I needed.
666
00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:32,705
[mouthing]BERT:
He's right.
667
00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:34,620
Let's not fight
over these folks.
668
00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:37,797
These are good people and they
can care about both of us.
669
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,234
Let's not force them
to make a choice.
670
00:25:40,277 --> 00:25:42,453
Good point.
671
00:25:42,497 --> 00:25:44,543
Him?
Disneyland?
672
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:47,328
Well, it's an unfair one.Yeah, you know.
Oh, come on.
673
00:25:47,371 --> 00:25:50,287
Got to go see the mouse.Will you get on
the Impossibles coaster?
674
00:25:50,331 --> 00:25:51,724
MAYA: We need to go
in one car, though.
675
00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:53,421
My car is waiting right outside.GEORGE: It's outside?
676
00:25:53,464 --> 00:25:55,249
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.JIM: Oh, I can't wait
for some Mickey ears.
677
00:25:55,292 --> 00:25:57,599
I'm sorry, B-Dog.
678
00:25:57,643 --> 00:26:01,342
Call him a cute nickname again
and no turkey legs for you.
679
00:26:06,042 --> 00:26:08,131
Tonight I am alone.
680
00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:10,133
[lisping]:
Esta noche estoy solo.
681
00:26:12,745 --> 00:26:14,616
[sighs]
682
00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:19,012
REBECCA:
Sorry, I'm not feeling well.
683
00:26:19,055 --> 00:26:20,753
Valencia, can you show
Jason out, please?!
684
00:26:20,796 --> 00:26:23,059
All right, it's time
to move on.Wait, uh... Whoa.
685
00:26:23,103 --> 00:26:25,322
It's now that you're leaving.What?
686
00:26:25,366 --> 00:26:27,150
Bye!
687
00:26:27,194 --> 00:26:28,587
What about our date?
688
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:29,849
[exhales]
689
00:26:29,892 --> 00:26:33,722
Oh, Valencia.
690
00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:35,594
The cats are killing me.
691
00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:36,986
Which cats?
692
00:26:38,031 --> 00:26:40,033
Funky!
693
00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:49,216
So what do you do?
694
00:26:49,259 --> 00:26:50,913
Well, I'm about to finish
business school,
695
00:26:50,957 --> 00:26:52,393
but I'm, uh, I'm actually...
696
00:26:52,436 --> 00:26:54,656
You know,
I had this crazy idea--
697
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,223
never even really told anyone--
698
00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:59,313
but my dad used to have this
restaurant out by the freeway
699
00:26:59,356 --> 00:27:00,662
and I'm thinking about
re-opening it
700
00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:02,664
as my thesis project.
701
00:27:02,708 --> 00:27:05,362
It was this great local
Italian restaurant
702
00:27:05,406 --> 00:27:07,103
and it got overrun
by all these chains,
703
00:27:07,147 --> 00:27:09,584
so I think it'd be
cool to revive it.NATHANIEL: Totally.
704
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:10,933
What are you doing?Oh, my God!
705
00:27:10,977 --> 00:27:12,631
[whoops]
You scared me.
706
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:14,981
Snuck up on me there.
[whoops]
707
00:27:15,024 --> 00:27:17,113
Just keeping an eye out.
Still very casual, don't worry.
708
00:27:17,157 --> 00:27:19,725
Oh, I'm not worried at all.
Except about you.
709
00:27:20,769 --> 00:27:22,510
Be nice to have
an Italian restaurant.
710
00:27:22,553 --> 00:27:23,903
Yeah. We still
own the building,
711
00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:25,556
but we can never
sell it or re-open it
712
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,515
because of all these
new zoning laws.
713
00:27:27,558 --> 00:27:29,604
I don't even know where to
start with addressing that.
714
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,694
Dude. I could totally help you.
I'm real estate lawyer.
715
00:27:32,738 --> 00:27:34,740
I eat local zoning
restrictions for lunch.
716
00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:36,350
Really? You would help me?
717
00:27:36,393 --> 00:27:38,961
I mean, how much do you cost,
though? You seem expensive.
718
00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:42,704
I am. But lucky for you, I've
recently become a nice person,
719
00:27:42,748 --> 00:27:45,185
so... I'm easy.
Just buy me a beer.
720
00:27:45,228 --> 00:27:47,317
Okay.
721
00:27:47,361 --> 00:27:50,581
Oh, okay. Okay, they're going
into business together.
722
00:27:50,625 --> 00:27:51,887
That's fine, that's fine.
723
00:27:51,931 --> 00:27:53,367
That's... fine.
Nothing bad can happen there.
724
00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:55,717
Okay, I'm gonna tell 'em.
I'm gonna walk right up to 'em.
725
00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:57,893
I'm gonna rip the Band-Aid off,
I'm gonna tell 'em the truth.
726
00:27:57,937 --> 00:27:59,678
We're all gonna
laugh about this.
727
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:01,201
Gonna be hilarious, we're all...
we'll-we'll laugh.
728
00:28:01,244 --> 00:28:02,463
Good, I'm glad.
729
00:28:02,506 --> 00:28:04,247
Okay.
730
00:28:04,291 --> 00:28:06,554
Where are they?
Where did they go?
731
00:28:06,597 --> 00:28:08,251
Do you think they left together?
732
00:28:08,295 --> 00:28:10,079
REBECCA:
[sighs] At least I have the right medicine now.
733
00:28:10,123 --> 00:28:11,907
I think I scared away
Jason forever, though.
734
00:28:11,951 --> 00:28:13,822
Girl, you almost
scared me away forever.
735
00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:16,216
It's such a bummer.
Jason was so nice.
736
00:28:16,259 --> 00:28:17,391
I really liked him.
737
00:28:17,434 --> 00:28:18,958
Well, if you like
him, then text him.
738
00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:21,395
Tell him the truth.
He sent you
739
00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:22,962
a picture of himself pooping.
740
00:28:23,005 --> 00:28:25,094
What's going on with you
is not grosser than that.
741
00:28:25,138 --> 00:28:27,270
I mean, for me, it's all
gross and none of it
742
00:28:27,314 --> 00:28:29,272
should be talked about,
but for you guys,
743
00:28:29,316 --> 00:28:31,231
it might be fine?
744
00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:32,754
Do it, girl.
Tell him.
745
00:28:32,798 --> 00:28:34,190
So, Jason,
what happened was--
746
00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:36,453
and here's the truth--
I got a yeast infection
747
00:28:36,497 --> 00:28:37,628
and I kind of
overcorrected a bit
748
00:28:37,672 --> 00:28:39,282
and gave myself
bacterial vaginosis,
749
00:28:39,326 --> 00:28:40,719
but I'm on
the right medicine now,
750
00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:42,329
and I'll be better in a week
751
00:28:42,372 --> 00:28:44,418
and if you're still down
after reading this text message,
752
00:28:44,461 --> 00:28:46,115
I would like
to hang out very much.
753
00:28:46,159 --> 00:28:48,378
Respectfully yours,
Rebecca Nora Bunch.
754
00:28:48,422 --> 00:28:49,684
And send.
755
00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:52,078
Was that good?
756
00:28:52,121 --> 00:28:55,777
Well, I might have phrased
it a bit differently--
757
00:28:55,821 --> 00:28:57,779
again, we're very, very
different people--
758
00:28:57,823 --> 00:28:58,867
but...[phone chimes]
759
00:28:58,911 --> 00:29:01,609
Oh, my God, it's Jason.
760
00:29:01,652 --> 00:29:02,915
W-Well, what'd he say?
761
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:05,700
He said, "That's cool,
let's hang out tonight.
762
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,789
"My mom's a gyno, NBD.
763
00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,312
"I'll bring over
a room spray,
764
00:29:09,356 --> 00:29:11,924
put on some thick sweats."
765
00:29:11,967 --> 00:29:14,753
Hmm.Also, son of a gyno?
766
00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:16,885
What a dream.
767
00:29:18,844 --> 00:29:20,454
BERT:
Paula, will you tell Darryl
768
00:29:20,497 --> 00:29:22,804
that the client
from Azusa wishes to file
769
00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:26,373
a soil-assessment request with
the wildlife management office?
770
00:29:26,416 --> 00:29:28,157
Nope, not gonna do that.
771
00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:30,029
Also, he just heard you.
772
00:29:30,072 --> 00:29:32,640
Jim, tell Bert
that any idiot knows
773
00:29:32,683 --> 00:29:34,860
that ecological soil testing
needs to be done on-site
774
00:29:34,903 --> 00:29:36,818
and he would know that
if he wasn't a weirdo
775
00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:38,733
who used to live in a sewer.
776
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,170
Wait, start over. I only got
the first part of that.
777
00:29:41,214 --> 00:29:42,824
BERT:
You know what, I'm nice.
778
00:29:42,868 --> 00:29:44,043
I'm very nice.
779
00:29:44,086 --> 00:29:46,523
But I also have
very thin emotional skin.
780
00:29:46,567 --> 00:29:47,611
Like my finger skin.
781
00:29:47,655 --> 00:29:49,831
Which is now protected.
782
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:52,312
Thank you so much, Bert.
783
00:29:52,355 --> 00:29:54,749
Because of Darryl,
I feel myself regressing
784
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:56,707
into a more raw state.
785
00:29:56,751 --> 00:29:58,709
I've had to go
to group therapy
786
00:29:58,753 --> 00:30:00,624
every morning this week,
which has interfered
787
00:30:00,668 --> 00:30:02,757
with my morning
desert spelunking.
788
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,628
You have cost me the love
and the cherishment
789
00:30:04,672 --> 00:30:05,847
of my loved ones.
790
00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:06,848
Cherishment--
not a word.
791
00:30:06,892 --> 00:30:08,807
My professional family!
792
00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:10,025
Oh...You've ruined
everything.
793
00:30:10,069 --> 00:30:11,810
And you stole
my upper lip style choice,
794
00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:12,811
you son of a...PAULA:
Oh!
795
00:30:12,854 --> 00:30:14,987
Aah! Get away from me!Aah!
796
00:30:15,030 --> 00:30:17,163
What is your problem?!Stop it! Stop it right now!
797
00:30:17,206 --> 00:30:18,686
Stop it! Stop it![both grunting]
798
00:30:18,729 --> 00:30:21,210
That is enough!
799
00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:22,298
I wasn't doing anything.
800
00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:24,300
Get off.
801
00:30:26,302 --> 00:30:28,000
We can't go on like this.
802
00:30:28,043 --> 00:30:29,871
We need to call in
a professional.
803
00:30:39,315 --> 00:30:42,928
Father Brah, it's so cool
you do workplace mediations.
804
00:30:42,971 --> 00:30:44,668
Yeah, in this economic climate,
I can't afford
805
00:30:44,712 --> 00:30:46,845
to not diversify.Hmm.
Father,
806
00:30:46,888 --> 00:30:48,281
I have a confession.
807
00:30:48,324 --> 00:30:50,239
You're super cute.
808
00:30:50,283 --> 00:30:52,285
Oh, uh, uh, please don't.
809
00:30:52,328 --> 00:30:54,548
Okay, workplace
conflict arises
810
00:30:54,591 --> 00:30:57,290
when we bring
our emotional needs
811
00:30:57,333 --> 00:30:58,769
to a transactional environment.
812
00:30:58,813 --> 00:31:00,902
It's Darryl's fault.
I think he's borderline
813
00:31:00,946 --> 00:31:04,514
and has BPD or maybe
he has narcissism and has NPD.
814
00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:05,864
Or is in the NYPD.
815
00:31:05,907 --> 00:31:09,650
Or he's NPH.
I love when he hosts the Tonys.
816
00:31:09,693 --> 00:31:11,957
By the way, he was
so right this year.
817
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,221
Who was that weird lady
backstage with the tiny top hat?
818
00:31:15,264 --> 00:31:18,137
Do not put this on me,
Bert Buttenweiser.
819
00:31:18,180 --> 00:31:20,791
Or shall I say Buttenweasel?
820
00:31:20,835 --> 00:31:22,010
[gasps]You knew exactly
821
00:31:22,054 --> 00:31:23,838
what you were doing.GEORGE:
No, no.
822
00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:25,013
I cannot go through this again.
823
00:31:25,057 --> 00:31:26,928
Saturdays with Dad,
Sundays with Mom.
824
00:31:26,972 --> 00:31:29,409
Holidays...
with who knows who...
825
00:31:29,452 --> 00:31:30,889
Well, check
the calendar, Georgie.
826
00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:32,194
Where's my favorite windbreaker?
827
00:31:32,238 --> 00:31:33,848
You must have left it
at your mother's place.
828
00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:36,372
Well, then, why don't you ask
her new boyfriend
829
00:31:36,416 --> 00:31:39,506
to buy you a new one since
he's so much wealthier than me?
830
00:31:43,031 --> 00:31:44,424
BRAH:
Bert, Darryl,
831
00:31:44,467 --> 00:31:46,295
I think you can see the toll
832
00:31:46,339 --> 00:31:47,862
this is taking
on your employees.
833
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:50,430
Can you put aside your
personal differences and your
834
00:31:50,473 --> 00:31:52,214
facial-hair resentments
for a moment?
835
00:31:55,522 --> 00:31:57,350
Is this stupidity over?
836
00:32:07,838 --> 00:32:10,102
He's right,
I've been terrible.
837
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:12,452
We're hurting people.
People we care about.
838
00:32:12,495 --> 00:32:13,714
I'm sorry.
839
00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:15,803
You can be the Dad.
840
00:32:15,846 --> 00:32:19,067
You be Dad. I'll be Papa.Uh, again,
841
00:32:19,111 --> 00:32:21,200
I encourage you
to see this work environment
842
00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:22,941
through a professional lens,
if possible.
843
00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:25,117
Okay, then.
It's settled.
844
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,988
Daddy, Papa.So, no?
845
00:32:27,032 --> 00:32:29,512
And I will relinquish
my glorious facial hair.
846
00:32:29,556 --> 00:32:32,124
I guess, on some level,
I grew the moustache
847
00:32:32,167 --> 00:32:33,560
because I wanted
to compete with you.
848
00:32:33,603 --> 00:32:37,303
You are so kind and beloved.
849
00:32:37,346 --> 00:32:39,131
Aw.
850
00:32:39,174 --> 00:32:40,784
BRAH:
I think we did it.
851
00:32:40,828 --> 00:32:42,917
Yeah, well done.
852
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,833
Good job, everyone.
853
00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:49,576
Um, everything you said
was super smart,
854
00:32:49,619 --> 00:32:52,492
and I just wanted to ask
what are you doing later,
855
00:32:52,535 --> 00:32:56,017
and do you like oatmeal
draft lattes? 'Cause I do.
856
00:32:56,061 --> 00:32:57,453
I'm a priest.
857
00:32:57,497 --> 00:32:59,847
I'm a Capricorn.
858
00:32:59,890 --> 00:33:01,501
I think this could work.
859
00:33:01,544 --> 00:33:03,068
I never thought
I'd have a gym buddy,
860
00:33:03,111 --> 00:33:05,070
mostly because I never
thought I'd have a gym.Yeah,
861
00:33:05,113 --> 00:33:07,289
and I don't usually talk
to people who are sweating.
862
00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,074
Or just people in general.
863
00:33:09,117 --> 00:33:10,597
But I'm nice now, so...You know,
864
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,555
you don't need to say it.
You could just be it,
865
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:13,948
and people will think it.
866
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,819
Hmm.Having said that,
867
00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:16,951
I am glad I met you.
868
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,997
It's really hard
to make a new friend,
869
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,391
and it's been great to take
my mind off my personal life.Oh, right, your ex.
870
00:33:22,435 --> 00:33:24,915
Yeah, it's so stupid I'm even
thinking about her at all
871
00:33:24,959 --> 00:33:25,960
after what she did.
872
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,615
Pretty bad, huh?As bad as it gets.
873
00:33:28,658 --> 00:33:29,877
Oof.And what's worse
874
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,661
is I want to forgive her.
875
00:33:31,705 --> 00:33:33,968
I-I just can't stop
thinking about her.
876
00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:37,058
I-I hear you, man. I'm in the
same boat with my ex. I mean,
877
00:33:37,102 --> 00:33:38,538
she clearly dumped me,
878
00:33:38,581 --> 00:33:40,540
and I can't stop
thinking about her either.
879
00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:44,500
I mean, God, women, they are...
880
00:33:44,544 --> 00:33:45,936
our equal in every way.
881
00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:47,721
Well, maybe you should just
tell her how you feel.
882
00:33:47,764 --> 00:33:49,244
I've done that. Like,
four times. It never works.
883
00:33:49,288 --> 00:33:51,246
Yeah, but you just told me
that you've changed.
884
00:33:51,290 --> 00:33:52,813
Does she know that?
885
00:33:52,856 --> 00:33:54,684
Kinda. I don't know.
[scoffs]
886
00:33:54,728 --> 00:33:57,122
How about this.
887
00:33:57,165 --> 00:33:59,254
How about you tell your ex
that you've changed,
888
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:01,778
and I'll tell mine I can't
stop thinking about her.
889
00:34:01,822 --> 00:34:03,693
When?Now. Yeah.
890
00:34:03,737 --> 00:34:06,000
And this isn't just
the lemonade talking.
891
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:07,828
Really? Should we?
892
00:34:07,871 --> 00:34:09,264
Yeah, come on.
893
00:34:09,308 --> 00:34:10,744
Use your legs, weakling!
894
00:34:10,787 --> 00:34:12,137
Ah, that's a little
too much, though.
895
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:13,660
Yeah, sorry. It felt
weird coming out.
896
00:34:13,703 --> 00:34:15,966
No, you're right, we should.
Why don't you go first.
897
00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:18,056
I'll pay the tab because,
not only am I nice,
898
00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:20,101
I'm also rich.
899
00:34:20,145 --> 00:34:21,233
I'll work on that.
900
00:34:21,276 --> 00:34:22,973
I'll work on that.Yeah. Yeah.
901
00:34:23,017 --> 00:34:24,018
All right, good luck.
902
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,106
You too.
903
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:26,325
WHITE JOSH:
Oh, my God.
904
00:34:26,368 --> 00:34:27,674
My friend from the
wine bar just texted me.
905
00:34:27,717 --> 00:34:29,763
Greg and Nathaniel had a
drink together and they're
906
00:34:29,806 --> 00:34:32,635
both gonna see their exes.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
907
00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:35,073
I have to go.
I have to go do something.What?
908
00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:37,118
I don't know.What are you gonna do
when you get there?
909
00:34:37,162 --> 00:34:39,033
I don't know, okay?
I'm gonna think of something
910
00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:40,687
very eloquent to say
on my way over there
911
00:34:40,730 --> 00:34:42,558
and then I am
going to say it to them
912
00:34:42,602 --> 00:34:43,994
when I get there.
Okay.
913
00:34:44,038 --> 00:34:46,432
REBECCA:
I'm so glad you came over.
914
00:34:46,475 --> 00:34:48,477
[music playing over TV]
915
00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:57,356
Hey. I know
it's still a little
916
00:34:57,399 --> 00:35:00,489
problematic for me
down there, but...
917
00:35:00,533 --> 00:35:03,231
there's other stuff we can do.
918
00:35:03,275 --> 00:35:05,407
Oh. Okay.
919
00:35:05,451 --> 00:35:08,149
Are you sure?
920
00:35:08,193 --> 00:35:11,457
Yeah.
921
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,111
[music stops]
922
00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:17,463
♪ Whisper, whisper,
whisper, whisper ♪
923
00:35:17,506 --> 00:35:21,771
♪ This is Elated Cat
924
00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:23,904
♪ Interpreting
this happy moment ♪
925
00:35:23,947 --> 00:35:26,080
♪ In the language of dance.
926
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:28,126
♪
927
00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:41,748
REBECCA:
You know, I'd like Catsway better
928
00:35:41,791 --> 00:35:43,837
if it were just a
plot-free dance revue.
929
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,186
JASON:
What?
930
00:35:45,230 --> 00:35:46,535
God, I'm nervous.
931
00:35:46,579 --> 00:35:49,059
Why am I nervous?
I didn't do anything wrong.
932
00:35:49,103 --> 00:35:50,844
I didn't sleep
with anyone's dad.
933
00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:53,151
I've never even
met Rebecca's dad.
934
00:35:53,194 --> 00:35:55,588
Greg?Hey...
935
00:35:55,631 --> 00:35:57,329
Oh, you came here
for moral support?
936
00:35:57,372 --> 00:35:59,157
Thanks, bud, but I got it.
937
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,333
Wait, how'd you even
know where I was?
938
00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:04,466
Oh, God.
939
00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:06,686
You're thatGreg.
940
00:36:08,253 --> 00:36:09,819
Wait.
941
00:36:09,863 --> 00:36:12,126
You're thatjerk real estate
dude she dated?
942
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,172
Yep. Yep, that's me.
943
00:36:14,215 --> 00:36:17,175
So that means that Rebecca
had sex with your...Yes.
944
00:36:17,218 --> 00:36:19,133
Him and me and...
945
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,961
obviously, you.
946
00:36:21,004 --> 00:36:22,702
[panting]
947
00:36:22,745 --> 00:36:26,096
Ah. Uh-huh.
948
00:36:26,140 --> 00:36:28,098
Greg, Nathaniel.
Nathaniel, Greg.
949
00:36:28,142 --> 00:36:29,578
Oh, you did that
already, huh?
950
00:36:29,622 --> 00:36:32,277
Oh, man, I... I did not
do a good job with this, huh?
951
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,582
So I'm gonna...
952
00:36:33,626 --> 00:36:36,281
I'll just see you guys
at the, uh...
953
00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:38,239
Nope, no.
Probably not.
954
00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:39,632
Okay.
I'll see you guys.
955
00:36:45,681 --> 00:36:47,683
["Sex with a Stranger" playing]
956
00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:53,994
[indistinct chatter in distance]
957
00:36:54,037 --> 00:36:57,432
What is that?
958
00:36:57,476 --> 00:37:00,392
Ugh, I think I have some of
those feral cats on my patio.
959
00:37:00,435 --> 00:37:02,132
I got to go get rid of them.
960
00:37:02,176 --> 00:37:03,395
Okay. Don't take too long.
961
00:37:03,438 --> 00:37:04,613
I won't.
962
00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:07,486
Keep yourself horny.
Stay in the mood.
963
00:37:10,532 --> 00:37:12,491
I can't believe this.Oh, I can.
964
00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:14,275
When I get around Rebecca,
965
00:37:14,319 --> 00:37:17,191
this is the kind of thing
that happens to me.
966
00:37:20,455 --> 00:37:22,065
What are you guys doing here?
967
00:37:22,109 --> 00:37:23,545
I wanted to talk to you.
968
00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:25,199
I also
wanted to talk to you.
969
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,287
Okay. About what?
970
00:37:26,331 --> 00:37:28,246
JASON:
Is everything okay?
971
00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:30,813
Jason, it's-it's fine.
This is a... long story.
972
00:37:30,857 --> 00:37:33,207
Just-just get back in, okay?JOSH:
Is it the feral cats?
973
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:35,209
Don't get bitten!
I will protect you...
974
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,211
Oh. Hey, dudes.
What's going on?
975
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,386
Rebecca, who
are these guys?
976
00:37:38,430 --> 00:37:41,302
These are my ex-boyfriends.
977
00:37:41,346 --> 00:37:42,999
What is he doing here?We live together.
978
00:37:43,043 --> 00:37:45,480
Platonic...
platonically.
979
00:37:45,524 --> 00:37:47,352
Yeah.Those are not platonic panties.
980
00:37:47,395 --> 00:37:48,744
You know what?
I'm gonna head out.
981
00:37:48,788 --> 00:37:50,616
NATHANIEL:
Yeah, me, too.Also, me.
982
00:37:50,659 --> 00:37:52,226
[stammers]
983
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,533
God, women are... the future.
984
00:37:54,576 --> 00:37:57,275
Wait, guys. No, no, no. No,
no, Jason, Jason, don't go.
985
00:37:57,318 --> 00:37:59,277
I can explain.
Guys. Guys!
986
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,409
What did you want to tell me?
987
00:38:01,453 --> 00:38:03,455
[exhales]
988
00:38:05,457 --> 00:38:07,459
Sorry, Becks.
989
00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:09,809
I was trying to save you
from the cats.
990
00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:14,509
[door closes]
991
00:38:14,553 --> 00:38:16,772
♪
992
00:38:21,429 --> 00:38:25,172
♪ Nostalgia
993
00:38:25,215 --> 00:38:27,870
♪ I'm feeling nostalgia
994
00:38:29,611 --> 00:38:33,354
♪ Such heartbreaking nostalgia
995
00:38:33,398 --> 00:38:37,010
♪ For the last time I boned.
996
00:38:38,403 --> 00:38:40,709
Did somebody say bone?
997
00:38:40,753 --> 00:38:43,756
♪ I'm the Doggy Dog
and I'm wagging my tail ♪
998
00:38:43,799 --> 00:38:45,975
Okay, that's enough.♪ Sniffing some ass
as I walk up... ♪
999
00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:47,716
VALENCIA:
Okay, so, wait--
1000
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,328
all of your exes showed
up on your doorstep?
1001
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:52,330
Are they still into you?
1002
00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:55,028
I don't know.
I'm so confused.
1003
00:38:55,071 --> 00:38:57,378
I mean, they all had something
to say and they saw each other,
1004
00:38:57,422 --> 00:38:59,554
and no one said
what they wanted to say.
1005
00:38:59,598 --> 00:39:01,817
Oh, God,
and I've tried to text Jason,
1006
00:39:01,861 --> 00:39:03,428
like, "Jason,
I'm so sorry about tonight,"
1007
00:39:03,471 --> 00:39:05,343
but he's not getting back to me,
so that's done.
1008
00:39:05,386 --> 00:39:06,909
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
1009
00:39:06,953 --> 00:39:08,215
After everything you've been
through this week
1010
00:39:08,258 --> 00:39:10,522
with your... vagina.I know,
1011
00:39:10,565 --> 00:39:12,393
and I didn't do anything wrong.No.
1012
00:39:12,437 --> 00:39:13,568
I was just trying to get laid.
1013
00:39:13,612 --> 00:39:15,657
Which now, apparently,
will never happen.
1014
00:39:15,701 --> 00:39:17,442
God.
1015
00:39:17,485 --> 00:39:20,358
Men.
1016
00:39:20,401 --> 00:39:22,360
Can't live with 'em,
can't kill 'em.
1017
00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:23,404
Yeah. We get to say that.
1018
00:39:23,448 --> 00:39:24,710
We do.Yeah.
1019
00:39:24,753 --> 00:39:26,581
Mmm.
1020
00:39:28,540 --> 00:39:30,498
Wow. I really liked
that Jason guy.
1021
00:39:30,542 --> 00:39:32,544
You kidding me?
Have you seen Josh?
1022
00:39:32,587 --> 00:39:34,067
Meow.
1023
00:39:34,110 --> 00:39:36,156
Josh? Honey, Nathaniel.
1024
00:39:36,199 --> 00:39:37,375
That's where it's at.
1025
00:39:37,418 --> 00:39:40,421
Mmm, I'm more
of a Greg girl myself.
1026
00:39:40,465 --> 00:39:43,163
I still can't stop
thinking of Marco.
1027
00:39:43,206 --> 00:39:45,426
He flipped me
like a pancake.
1028
00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:46,558
Ooh!
[giggles]
1029
00:39:46,601 --> 00:39:48,429
Meow.That's nasty.
1030
00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:58,526
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
1031
00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:01,573
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
1032
00:40:01,623 --> 00:40:06,173
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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