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1
00:00:12,585 --> 00:00:15,486
(whirring, click)
2
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(clicking)
3
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(airy whistling)
4
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(whistling, doorbell rings)
5
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(humming)
6
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Hi. Thank you so much for coming.
7
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Hi. You said there was
a... an emergency? What?
8
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,171
Yeah, yeah, I'm so... Something is wrong
9
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,195
with my garbage disposal
10
00:00:31,345 --> 00:00:32,845
is completely clogged.
11
00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:33,921
I don't know what happened.
12
00:00:33,961 --> 00:00:36,226
And I know that, you
know, you're a real fixer
13
00:00:36,251 --> 00:00:38,652
from summer camp, wood shop,
making all those lanyards,
14
00:00:38,677 --> 00:00:39,709
so I figured you could help me.
15
00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:41,034
And I know that you're wondering, like,
16
00:00:41,169 --> 00:00:42,368
why haven't I called a service.
17
00:00:42,370 --> 00:00:44,703
Well, one time, I called
a service in New York,
18
00:00:44,705 --> 00:00:46,179
and the handyman stole
my grandmother's necklace
19
00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,651
- from Krakow, so I thought never again.
- WHITE JOSH: Wow.
20
00:00:48,676 --> 00:00:51,744
- Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
- Oh.
21
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:54,195
Hi, White Josh. You brought
White Josh. How nice.
22
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,507
Very cool apartment.
How long you been here?
23
00:00:57,242 --> 00:01:00,486
I was working hard
at a New York job
24
00:01:00,488 --> 00:01:02,388
Making dough but it made me blue
25
00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:04,056
One day I was crying a lot
26
00:01:04,058 --> 00:01:05,124
And so I decided to move
27
00:01:05,126 --> 00:01:06,826
To West Covina, California
28
00:01:06,828 --> 00:01:08,060
Brand new pals and new career
29
00:01:08,062 --> 00:01:10,054
It happens to be where Josh lives
30
00:01:10,079 --> 00:01:12,479
But that's not why I'm here
31
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-
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
-
What? No, I'm not.
32
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She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
33
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That's a sexist term.
34
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,211
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
35
00:01:19,236 --> 00:01:20,335
Can you guys stop
singing for just a second?
36
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,961
She's so broken inside
37
00:01:22,986 --> 00:01:24,452
The situation's a lot
more nuanced than that.
38
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C-R-A-Z-Y
39
00:01:26,259 --> 00:01:27,591
Okay! We get it!
40
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Crazy ex-girlfriend.
41
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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
42
00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:33,419
So, uh... so you got a clog, huh?
43
00:01:33,421 --> 00:01:34,773
Sure it's not an obstruction,
44
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,332
backup? Could be a stoppage.
45
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:38,624
I... I have no idea.
46
00:01:38,626 --> 00:01:41,360
Let me take a look.
47
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:44,242
Whoa. There's like a
crapload of chicken in here.
48
00:01:44,632 --> 00:01:46,165
It's almost like you tried to break it.
49
00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:49,034
Okay, um, so, while White Josh
50
00:01:49,036 --> 00:01:51,937
is fixing the garbage disposal,
why don't you and I catch up?
51
00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:53,105
So, how have you been?
52
00:01:53,107 --> 00:01:54,507
Sorry about Whi-Jo.
53
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:56,742
You know, Valencia is
still not super psyched
54
00:01:56,744 --> 00:01:59,011
about you and I hanging out alone together,
55
00:01:59,013 --> 00:02:01,380
so, in case she finds out I was here,
56
00:02:01,453 --> 00:02:03,335
I can say White Josh was here, too.
57
00:02:03,818 --> 00:02:07,453
Valencia... when she gets mad,
she, like... ugh... hulks out.
58
00:02:07,455 --> 00:02:09,121
But what's she mad about? Like, I don't...
59
00:02:09,123 --> 00:02:10,923
I don't really understand
what she's mad about.
60
00:02:10,925 --> 00:02:12,524
Ugh! Are you crazy?!
61
00:02:12,526 --> 00:02:14,159
Why does everyone want to have sex with me?
62
00:02:14,161 --> 00:02:17,129
It's a circle of love, because
I love you, you love Josh,
63
00:02:17,131 --> 00:02:19,164
and Josh and I used to love each other.
64
00:02:19,166 --> 00:02:20,366
Oh, that.
65
00:02:20,368 --> 00:02:21,934
Yeah. Oh, she's still angry about that?
66
00:02:21,936 --> 00:02:23,168
Oh, my God!
67
00:02:23,170 --> 00:02:25,104
It's like, shake it off, girlfriend.
68
00:02:25,106 --> 00:02:26,739
That was ages ago!
69
00:02:26,741 --> 00:02:28,407
It was six days ago.
70
00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,542
Well, yeah, I mean, I just
need a buffer, you know.
71
00:02:30,544 --> 00:02:31,744
Yeah. Especially since Valencia's...
72
00:02:31,746 --> 00:02:33,679
She's out of town at some yoga retreat.
73
00:02:33,681 --> 00:02:35,180
Oh, she's out of town?
74
00:02:35,182 --> 00:02:37,182
You know, it's so funny that she's so angry
75
00:02:37,184 --> 00:02:38,751
because I've tried to tell her repeatedly
76
00:02:38,753 --> 00:02:40,152
that you and I are just friends
77
00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:41,921
and that I'm really on the hunt
78
00:02:41,923 --> 00:02:43,789
for, like, cute, single guys, you know.
79
00:02:43,791 --> 00:02:46,546
It's so hot in here. Aah!
80
00:02:46,571 --> 00:02:49,929
Hey, buddy, if you're gonna
sweat, can you put down a towel?
81
00:02:49,931 --> 00:02:51,830
Oh, sorry. I'm actually...
I'm done, anyway.
82
00:02:51,832 --> 00:02:53,098
Disposal's fixed.
83
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,833
Oh, great. Then we should jet.
84
00:02:54,835 --> 00:02:56,335
Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
85
00:02:56,337 --> 00:02:58,737
Why-why don't we... why don't
we watch a movie, and-and...
86
00:02:58,739 --> 00:03:00,572
and Buffer can play with my phone? Hmm?
87
00:03:00,574 --> 00:03:02,675
- Here you go, bud.
- Ah.
88
00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:04,610
You got a step counter on here?
89
00:03:04,612 --> 00:03:07,382
Whoa! It is very low.
I'm gonna catch you up.
90
00:03:07,407 --> 00:03:09,581
Uh, no, we got to go.
91
00:03:09,583 --> 00:03:11,734
Anyway, don't you have,
like, work or something?
92
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,653
Um, actually, today is Weekend Tuesday.
93
00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:17,089
Yeah, it's like, uh, Casual Friday, but
94
00:03:17,091 --> 00:03:19,320
even more chill and on a Tuesday.
95
00:03:19,345 --> 00:03:20,742
And, um, we make it up
96
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,494
by working Saturdays once a quarter.
97
00:03:22,496 --> 00:03:23,570
That sounds confusing.
98
00:03:23,595 --> 00:03:24,861
I don't disagree.
99
00:03:24,886 --> 00:03:26,819
Uh, yeah, come on, dude, we got to go.
100
00:03:26,844 --> 00:03:28,242
Um, it was great to see you, Becks.
101
00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,600
You know, glad we could help.
102
00:03:29,971 --> 00:03:31,303
Just a little advice.
103
00:03:31,305 --> 00:03:32,871
Uh, no chicken in the disposal ever.
104
00:03:32,873 --> 00:03:35,307
Also, no fish bones, also, uh, no seeds.
105
00:03:35,309 --> 00:03:37,109
Also, lemons seem bad,
but they're actually good.
106
00:03:37,111 --> 00:03:38,023
Cool.
107
00:03:38,048 --> 00:03:39,999
Thanks for the tips. Thanks
for the help. Uh-huh. Sure.
108
00:03:40,024 --> 00:03:41,924
Uh, put on a shirt 'cause
no one wants to see that.
109
00:03:41,949 --> 00:03:43,615
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally fine.
110
00:03:43,617 --> 00:03:44,875
Yeah, no. No problem.
111
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:45,799
Sorry. See you, Becks.
112
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:48,674
- All right.
- (door opens)
113
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(door closes)
114
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,624
Oh, God.
115
00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:55,007
(whimpering)
116
00:04:04,617 --> 00:04:05,504
Darryl Whitefeather.
117
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,473
Hi, Darryl. It's Rebecca.
118
00:04:07,475 --> 00:04:09,617
Listen, I don't know if I'm
gonna make it in to work today.
119
00:04:09,642 --> 00:04:10,774
Oh, why?
120
00:04:10,799 --> 00:04:13,389
I'm just not... I'm not feeling well.
121
00:04:13,414 --> 00:04:15,398
Oh, really? What-what is it?
122
00:04:16,502 --> 00:04:20,571
Um... my ovaries are eking out
123
00:04:20,596 --> 00:04:23,975
into my fallopian tubes,
and they're wrapped around...
124
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,868
You know what? We'll see you
when you're feeling better.
125
00:04:25,893 --> 00:04:27,893
Yeah. Okay, thanks.
126
00:04:27,895 --> 00:04:29,500
Wow. Men are stupid.
127
00:04:30,818 --> 00:04:32,618
(knocking)
128
00:04:32,643 --> 00:04:33,842
Come in.
129
00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:35,267
(door opens)
130
00:04:35,269 --> 00:04:37,369
PAULA: Darryl said your uterus exploded.
131
00:04:37,371 --> 00:04:39,656
You know, if that's true, should
132
00:04:39,681 --> 00:04:41,450
probably go to the hospital or something.
133
00:04:42,445 --> 00:04:45,511
I know what this is. This is Chan-itus.
134
00:04:45,513 --> 00:04:48,480
Again, I just moved here
for a change. I didn't
135
00:04:48,482 --> 00:04:49,882
- move here for Josh.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
136
00:04:49,884 --> 00:04:52,084
- Yeah, yeah. I got it...
- West Covina. Pretzel...
137
00:04:52,086 --> 00:04:53,585
- Got it.
- Okay.
138
00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:55,654
Fine. You know, I'll admit it.
139
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:57,990
I want to be his friend.
140
00:04:57,992 --> 00:05:00,392
Okay? Sue me. But now his
141
00:05:00,394 --> 00:05:02,661
stupid, dum-dum-face
girlfriend
142
00:05:03,195 --> 00:05:05,597
has officially barred him
from being alone with me.
143
00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:07,232
Yeah, I saw that coming.
144
00:05:08,135 --> 00:05:09,906
I don't know what to do.
145
00:05:09,931 --> 00:05:12,598
Well, that's okay, 'cause I do.
146
00:05:12,623 --> 00:05:13,855
Huh? Oh, come on.
147
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,580
It's a classic dilemma.
148
00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:17,538
How do you see your crush...
149
00:05:17,563 --> 00:05:20,079
I mean, friend... without
pissing off his girlfriend,
150
00:05:20,081 --> 00:05:24,483
and look fabu in a super-tight
low-cut dress in the process?
151
00:05:24,485 --> 00:05:26,685
There's a solution, a loophole.
152
00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:29,195
It is in every teen movie ever made.
153
00:05:30,179 --> 00:05:31,471
It's a car wash?
154
00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:32,962
Throw a big party!
155
00:05:34,531 --> 00:05:35,752
- No.
- What?
156
00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:37,468
Yes, throw a big party.
157
00:05:37,493 --> 00:05:38,726
That way, when Josh comes,
158
00:05:38,751 --> 00:05:40,317
you're not technically alone with him,
159
00:05:40,342 --> 00:05:42,578
- and then he can't get in trouble!
- Okay, I see your logic...
160
00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:45,265
Very sound logic, um, but I don't do that.
161
00:05:45,406 --> 00:05:47,773
I don't throw parties.
It's not a thing I do.
162
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:50,507
- I go to parties.
- Okay. Why?
163
00:05:50,578 --> 00:05:52,644
(sighs) Oh, God, um...
164
00:05:53,148 --> 00:05:55,460
it's, like, a super long story.
165
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:58,117
Okay, um, ooh...
166
00:05:58,119 --> 00:06:00,304
- So, when I was 12...
- PAULA: Okay.
167
00:06:00,329 --> 00:06:01,695
No, no. I don't have time for this.
168
00:06:01,922 --> 00:06:04,359
What happened? The tissues
fell out of your training bra?
169
00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:07,052
You period-ed on a white
couch? We've all been there.
170
00:06:07,495 --> 00:06:11,296
I period-ed on an ultra suede settee in 1987
171
00:06:11,298 --> 00:06:13,398
at Roberta Janatelli's condo, and
172
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,648
I got to tell you, it
was still a great party.
173
00:06:16,686 --> 00:06:18,819
I wrapped a sweater around my waist,
174
00:06:18,844 --> 00:06:21,945
then hooked up with Bobby Henderson anyway.
175
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:23,837
And started the whole, um,
176
00:06:23,862 --> 00:06:25,762
sweater-around-the-waist
trend while I was at it.
177
00:06:25,813 --> 00:06:26,992
So, you're welcome.
178
00:06:27,025 --> 00:06:29,292
Paula, you don't
understand what I am saying.
179
00:06:29,317 --> 00:06:31,451
I need you to listen to me, okay?
180
00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:35,382
This was the worst party of all time.
181
00:06:35,756 --> 00:06:39,124
So, I invited everyone in my
grade to come over to my house
182
00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:40,993
and watch the pay-per-view
concert of my favorite
183
00:06:40,995 --> 00:06:42,461
boy band, Room Temperature.
184
00:06:42,463 --> 00:06:43,996
So, I threw this party,
185
00:06:43,998 --> 00:06:46,101
and this is how many people showed up.
186
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,098
(dinging)
187
00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:49,868
Concert starts in ten minutes!
188
00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:51,257
Who's psyched?!
189
00:06:52,617 --> 00:06:53,672
Well,
190
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,908
that was a tepid response.
191
00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,609
(laughs) Get it?
192
00:06:57,781 --> 00:06:59,478
It's a temperature joke.
193
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:00,979
And then it happened.
194
00:07:00,981 --> 00:07:03,448
WOMAN: Keep your voice
down. She's having a party.
195
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:05,515
MAN: You call that a party? That's
her and her three loser friends.
196
00:07:05,579 --> 00:07:06,906
You couldn't even throw her a decent party!
197
00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:08,530
WOMAN: Well, then why
don't you call your whore
198
00:07:08,555 --> 00:07:09,922
and ask her what she would do?!
199
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:14,226
Um, they're just rehearsing a play called
200
00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:15,585
The Worst Parents Ever.
201
00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:18,611
It's going up at the
Westchester Community Playhouse.
202
00:07:18,636 --> 00:07:19,734
That's it. I've had it.
203
00:07:19,759 --> 00:07:21,844
Hey, I'll get you
tickets. Who wants tickets?
204
00:07:21,869 --> 00:07:23,101
If you walk out that door,
205
00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:24,336
I don't ever want to see you again!
206
00:07:24,338 --> 00:07:25,470
Is that a promise? Yes!
207
00:07:25,472 --> 00:07:26,872
Can I get that in writing?! Yes!
208
00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:40,093
Good luck, kiddo.
209
00:07:42,507 --> 00:07:43,685
I got to get out of here.
210
00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:45,457
WOMAN: Don't you dare.
211
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:48,083
Don't you dare.
212
00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:52,085
(yelling): Don't you dare!
213
00:07:52,126 --> 00:07:52,984
(door closes)
214
00:07:54,235 --> 00:07:56,068
(panting)
215
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:57,617
(door closes)
216
00:07:58,554 --> 00:08:00,620
(voice breaking): Don't tell anybody
217
00:08:00,645 --> 00:08:03,695
at school about this, okay?
218
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,623
Oh, my God.
219
00:08:08,218 --> 00:08:10,656
It's the root of all my party fears.
220
00:08:11,187 --> 00:08:13,719
Actually, it's the root
of all my fears, period.
221
00:08:14,054 --> 00:08:17,756
Babe, you don't think
that I get being afraid?
222
00:08:18,359 --> 00:08:21,193
I wake up every morning in cold sweats
223
00:08:21,195 --> 00:08:23,562
worried that I'm wasting my entire life
224
00:08:23,564 --> 00:08:26,171
with a man who spends all his
time with a barbershop quartet
225
00:08:26,196 --> 00:08:28,304
called The West Brovinas.
226
00:08:28,329 --> 00:08:30,218
- No, you never told me the name.
- Yes.
227
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,081
And my children... I
mean, their only hope is
228
00:08:32,106 --> 00:08:34,350
that they get into a really good gang.
229
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:37,242
I mean, honey, I am scared
every day of my life.
230
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:39,687
But you can be brave. I know you can.
231
00:08:39,712 --> 00:08:43,617
All you got to do is stand up
to your fears, do you understand?
232
00:08:43,717 --> 00:08:45,812
I understand you in theory.
233
00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:48,520
Listen to me. His GF is out of town.
234
00:08:48,522 --> 00:08:50,322
The moment is now!
235
00:08:50,324 --> 00:08:52,557
Or is it, like, some time other than now?
236
00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:54,625
- Like...
- Shh... !
237
00:08:58,252 --> 00:09:01,020
I used to be afraid
238
00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:04,335
Of so much in this world
239
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,306
I'd tiptoe through each day
240
00:09:07,308 --> 00:09:11,310
Like some frightened little girl
241
00:09:11,312 --> 00:09:13,512
Then one day I realized
242
00:09:13,514 --> 00:09:17,916
I can't just run and hide from life
243
00:09:17,918 --> 00:09:21,218
Now if someone pulls a gun on me
244
00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:24,060
I pull out my knife!
245
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,891
I don't follow.
246
00:09:25,893 --> 00:09:28,393
Sit on my lap like I'm
Santa and listen to me.
247
00:09:28,395 --> 00:09:32,164
Face your fears
248
00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:34,933
Stare them down
249
00:09:34,935 --> 00:09:37,769
Don't be scared
250
00:09:37,771 --> 00:09:41,406
Stand your ground
251
00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:47,398
'Cause nothing is as
scary as it appears
252
00:09:47,614 --> 00:09:51,083
All you gotta do is face your fears
253
00:09:51,195 --> 00:09:53,752
Okay, I think I'm starting to
get it... what you're talk...
254
00:09:53,754 --> 00:09:56,388
If a bear runs at you in the woods
255
00:09:56,390 --> 00:09:57,889
Don't run away
256
00:09:57,891 --> 00:10:00,459
- Yeah, I'm back here. Sing to me.
-
Look it deep in the eyes
257
00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:02,294
Put your hand on its chest and say
258
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:04,196
�Bear, I'm not afraid�
259
00:10:04,198 --> 00:10:05,330
Well, that's just dangerous.
260
00:10:05,332 --> 00:10:07,899
If you're in a burning building
261
00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:11,503
And smoke is everywhere
262
00:10:11,505 --> 00:10:13,705
Keep calm, take a deep breath
263
00:10:13,707 --> 00:10:16,208
And stay right there!
264
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:18,310
- That's not how smoke or fire works.
- Shh.
265
00:10:18,312 --> 00:10:21,773
Face your fears
266
00:10:21,798 --> 00:10:23,865
Run with scissors
267
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:24,755
Whoa.
268
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:27,492
'Cause you can fly
269
00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:30,184
Yes, you can fly
270
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:32,009
Fly out of a window
271
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:33,769
Who are you singing to?
272
00:10:33,794 --> 00:10:35,827
Fly off a building
273
00:10:35,829 --> 00:10:39,331
Just believe in yourself
274
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:41,433
Face your fears
275
00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:43,201
Okay, I have so many problems...
276
00:10:43,203 --> 00:10:46,705
'Cause the children are the future
277
00:10:47,741 --> 00:10:50,609
Ah...
278
00:10:50,611 --> 00:10:53,612
-
Face your fears
-
Face your fears
279
00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:54,446
Oh, my God.
280
00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:55,580
Follow your dreams
281
00:10:55,582 --> 00:10:57,282
Follow your dreams
282
00:10:57,284 --> 00:10:58,550
Stare at the sun
283
00:10:58,552 --> 00:10:59,985
Stare at the sun
284
00:10:59,987 --> 00:11:01,353
Play in the street
285
00:11:01,355 --> 00:11:03,088
-
A busy street
-
If you're
286
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:04,489
Scared of bees
287
00:11:04,491 --> 00:11:06,091
If you're scared of bees
288
00:11:06,117 --> 00:11:08,837
-
Get stung
-
Don't have an EpiPen ready
289
00:11:08,862 --> 00:11:11,296
-
Reach for the stars
-
Literally touch a star
290
00:11:11,298 --> 00:11:14,533
-
Face your fears
-
Stars aren't that hot
291
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:17,269
-
Face your fears
-
Face your fears
292
00:11:17,271 --> 00:11:19,037
Join the Marines
293
00:11:19,039 --> 00:11:20,439
-
Join the Marines
-
Swim
294
00:11:20,441 --> 00:11:22,340
-
Right after eating
-
Don't wait
295
00:11:22,342 --> 00:11:23,675
30 minutes
296
00:11:23,677 --> 00:11:25,277
'Cause you are amazing
297
00:11:25,279 --> 00:11:26,545
-
So amazing
-
Wipe
298
00:11:26,547 --> 00:11:27,979
Back to front
299
00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:29,581
Don't wipe front to back
300
00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:30,949
Drop out of school
301
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:34,419
School is stupid
302
00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:36,755
All you got to
303
00:11:36,757 --> 00:11:42,703
Do...
304
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:44,763
Is face my fears?
305
00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:46,546
Is face your...
306
00:11:47,257 --> 00:11:48,456
Fears, I-I got it.
307
00:11:48,669 --> 00:11:53,605
Fears...
308
00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:56,875
Ah...
309
00:11:56,877 --> 00:11:58,543
Yeah.
310
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:01,523
Okay.
311
00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:03,192
Okay?
312
00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:06,453
Yeah. That was, like, really convincing.
313
00:12:06,487 --> 00:12:07,563
I mean, like,
314
00:12:07,851 --> 00:12:09,835
kind of disturbing but also convincing.
315
00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:11,122
Yeah, you're right, Paula.
316
00:12:11,124 --> 00:12:12,324
Now that I've run all this
317
00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:13,825
through the logic processor, like,
318
00:12:13,827 --> 00:12:17,179
of course my dad isn't
gonna walk out on me again.
319
00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:20,312
So... yes?
320
00:12:20,337 --> 00:12:20,890
Yes!
321
00:12:20,915 --> 00:12:22,514
Ooh, yes! Ah, good!
322
00:12:22,539 --> 00:12:24,573
Okay, pity party over.
Let's throw a real party!
323
00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:27,299
- Aah! I'm horrified.
- Game plan. Okay.
324
00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:29,304
- But let's do it!
- Yeah. Yay!
325
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,944
- (humming softly)
- Oh, you know what would be awesome?
326
00:12:34,969 --> 00:12:36,703
We need salt.
327
00:12:38,601 --> 00:12:41,248
Um, since it's Weekend Tuesday, um,
328
00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:43,639
can we just go home?
329
00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:46,065
(chuckles) See, it's Weekend Tuesday,
330
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,679
but it's not the real weekend.
331
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,235
Now, look, Bill,
332
00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:50,502
why don't you put on that sombrero
333
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,507
and then head on back to work?
334
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,953
- Right.
- Right?
335
00:12:56,953 --> 00:12:58,500
Weekend Tuesday.
336
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:02,214
So, the first thing we need
to do is choose a theme.
337
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,449
Don't worry about that. I have planned
338
00:13:03,451 --> 00:13:05,384
a million parties in my life.
339
00:13:05,386 --> 00:13:06,552
I will take care of that part.
340
00:13:06,554 --> 00:13:07,920
You handle the invites.
341
00:13:07,922 --> 00:13:08,757
- Okay.
- Okay?
342
00:13:08,782 --> 00:13:10,756
Ladies, are you working
on the Castwick case?
343
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:12,891
- Because it's...
- Weekend Tuesday, Darryl.
344
00:13:13,164 --> 00:13:13,993
Okay.
345
00:13:13,995 --> 00:13:14,793
Yeah.
346
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,328
No. Sorry. You're right.
347
00:13:16,994 --> 00:13:19,031
I may not have thought this day through.
348
00:13:24,156 --> 00:13:25,271
PAULA: Hey, Brendan,
349
00:13:25,273 --> 00:13:27,867
have you seen that tablecloth
with the roses on it?
350
00:13:28,085 --> 00:13:30,276
What? Haven't seen it.
351
00:13:30,278 --> 00:13:32,478
Hey, what have I said about
the katana on the table?
352
00:13:33,921 --> 00:13:34,780
Or...
353
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:37,650
you could just stare at
me like a serial killer.
354
00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:39,051
Scott?
355
00:13:39,053 --> 00:13:41,882
- Scott!
- (humming)
356
00:13:44,632 --> 00:13:45,982
- Scott!
- Huh? Huh?
357
00:13:46,007 --> 00:13:47,860
What? Sorry. We have
the semifinals coming up
358
00:13:47,862 --> 00:13:49,061
against the Glendorables.
359
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:50,863
They're the a-cappella group from Glendora.
360
00:13:50,865 --> 00:13:53,832
- They're the best in the state. (humming)
- Okay, I'm looking
361
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,434
for that white tablecloth that we have,
362
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:56,635
the one with the roses on it.
363
00:13:56,637 --> 00:13:58,037
- Yeah, I saw it.
- (gasps) Great!
364
00:13:58,039 --> 00:14:00,054
- Where is it?
- I threw it out. (humming)
365
00:14:00,079 --> 00:14:02,367
Wait! You threw it out?
That was from our wedding.
366
00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:03,542
I gave it to Goodwill when you asked me
367
00:14:03,544 --> 00:14:04,777
to clean out the cabinet.
368
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,445
Okay, well, if I asked you
369
00:14:06,447 --> 00:14:07,713
to take out the recyclables,
370
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,048
would you throw out our wedding album?
371
00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:11,383
'Cause it is partly made of paper.
372
00:14:11,385 --> 00:14:12,785
I don't know what you're asking me.
373
00:14:12,787 --> 00:14:15,646
(humming)
374
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:17,189
You know, the world doesn't
revolve around barbershop.
375
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:19,725
Nothing revolves around barbershop!
376
00:14:20,218 --> 00:14:22,428
Not even a revolving barbershop pole
377
00:14:22,430 --> 00:14:25,064
revolves around barbershop.
378
00:14:25,066 --> 00:14:26,432
This damn teacher. Teacher's...
379
00:14:26,434 --> 00:14:29,301
(groans) Stupid...
380
00:14:29,726 --> 00:14:30,769
What's up, Tommy?
381
00:14:30,771 --> 00:14:33,305
I have a test tomorrow, and I
don't know any of this stuff.
382
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,807
I'm stupid.
383
00:14:35,156 --> 00:14:36,975
You are not stupid.
384
00:14:37,218 --> 00:14:39,645
You are in the highest
percentiles of kids with ADHD
385
00:14:39,906 --> 00:14:42,481
and OCD and SAD and a panic disorder
386
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:44,116
and restless leg syndrome...
387
00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:46,618
Mom, I'm gonna fail the test.
388
00:14:47,031 --> 00:14:49,221
You're not. I know you're not.
389
00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:52,078
Look, just, you know, don't be afraid
390
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:54,804
and-and face your fears.
391
00:14:54,829 --> 00:14:57,625
Run with scissors, you know?
392
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,164
What?
393
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,333
That's bad advice, Mom.
394
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:07,704
REBECCA (singsongy): Hey!
395
00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,312
It's a house warming, get it?
396
00:15:11,835 --> 00:15:14,146
Yeah. No, I get it. I get it. It's just,
397
00:15:14,148 --> 00:15:16,982
you know, it kind of
looks like you're going
398
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,852
- to light your house on fire.
- No.
399
00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:22,254
- No, I don't see that. Mm-mm.
- Okay.
400
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,256
Whatever. You know
what, it's gonna be fine.
401
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,500
Do you promise?
402
00:15:26,976 --> 00:15:29,194
Yes, I promise.
403
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:30,829
You got this.
404
00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:33,507
Okay? You are a smart,
405
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:35,234
confident woman
406
00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:38,117
who's in charge of her own destiny.
407
00:15:38,742 --> 00:15:40,220
That sounds like a tampon
commercial. But you know...
408
00:15:40,245 --> 00:15:41,078
you know where I'm going
with this, right?
409
00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:41,851
Yeah. Yeah.
410
00:15:41,909 --> 00:15:43,509
Okay, now, who you gonna pass these out to?
411
00:15:44,085 --> 00:15:46,178
Oh, come on, you know
people. You know people
412
00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:49,014
since you've been here. You
go to that spinning class.
413
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,727
You have people in your apartment complex.
414
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,210
Yeah... No, no, you're right.
415
00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:56,437
Now that I'm thinking about it,
416
00:15:56,462 --> 00:15:57,860
I definitely know a lot of people.
417
00:15:57,885 --> 00:15:58,684
Tons of people.
418
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:00,075
I'm psyched! (chuckles)
419
00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:02,060
God, this time's gonna
be totally different.
420
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,882
You're right. It's not
like seventh grade at all.
421
00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:08,467
422
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:11,603
I have friends, I
definitely have friends
423
00:16:11,605 --> 00:16:14,973
No one can say that
I do not have friends
424
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,709
I have friends, I
definitely have friends
425
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:19,611
Friends, friends, friendly friends
426
00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:21,413
Time to meet my friends
427
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:22,681
I'm Patty!
428
00:16:22,683 --> 00:16:24,817
(shyly): Luan.
429
00:16:24,819 --> 00:16:27,953
Jason and I'm super into
Dance Dance Revolution!
430
00:16:27,955 --> 00:16:29,688
Girl with mustache!
431
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:31,490
Boy with port-wine stain!
432
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:34,359
Janitor who lives in
an RV behind the school.
433
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,248
I have friends, I definitely
have friends
434
00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:37,967
REBECCA: Oh, yeah!
435
00:16:37,992 --> 00:16:40,833
I have friends, I
definitely have friends
436
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:44,236
Objectively, I can say
that I have all the friends
437
00:16:44,238 --> 00:16:47,506
I have friends, I
definitely have friends
438
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,241
Friends, friends, friendly friends
439
00:16:49,243 --> 00:16:50,642
Time to meet my friends
440
00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:52,077
I'm Paula!
441
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,046
Darryl!
442
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:55,763
_
443
00:16:55,787 --> 00:16:57,603
_
444
00:16:57,604 --> 00:16:59,237
Lady who hit your car!
445
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,586
Friend of friend from law school?
446
00:17:00,588 --> 00:17:04,056
Grocery clerk with half an eyelid!
447
00:17:04,058 --> 00:17:06,692
BOTH:
We have friends,
we definitely have friends
448
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:10,262
No one can say that
we do not have friends
449
00:17:10,264 --> 00:17:13,765
We have friends, we
definitely have friends
450
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,334
Friends, friends, friendly friends
451
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,269
We have all the friends
Cool!
452
00:17:19,086 --> 00:17:22,187
It went great. I think lots
of cool people are gonna come.
453
00:17:22,692 --> 00:17:24,576
Yeah. Everybody loved my flyer.
454
00:17:24,578 --> 00:17:26,078
Oh, and,
B-T-dubs,
455
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,813
nobody thought it looked
like a house burning down,
456
00:17:27,815 --> 00:17:30,749
- so, you know...
- Nice. I knew you could do it, girl.
457
00:17:30,751 --> 00:17:33,552
(quietly): Now you just got
to get Josh and his friends.
458
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:35,372
On it, doin' it, crushin' it, bye.
459
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,460
Hey, Chris, you seen Chan?
460
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,328
S-Sorry, what was that?
461
00:17:43,583 --> 00:17:45,531
Have you seen Josh Chan?
462
00:17:45,755 --> 00:17:48,185
Nah, but you're lookin' sweet.
463
00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:50,911
Thank you, young man.
464
00:17:52,645 --> 00:17:54,456
I'm lookin' sweet.
465
00:17:54,481 --> 00:17:56,200
(sighs)
466
00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:00,812
Hi, Greg.
467
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,948
Put those things away. You're
gonna poke a kid's eye out.
468
00:18:03,224 --> 00:18:05,317
(chuckles) You're funny.
469
00:18:05,778 --> 00:18:08,747
You're funny in that way that
I'm sure other people like.
470
00:18:08,772 --> 00:18:11,317
Wow. Charming on you looks really great.
471
00:18:11,374 --> 00:18:13,959
Okay, let's start over. Look, I
know that you're probably
472
00:18:13,961 --> 00:18:17,029
a little, like, miffed at me
from the way things went down
473
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:18,411
at Spiders the other night.
474
00:18:18,436 --> 00:18:20,933
Um, as I remember it, you weren't
too thrilled with me either.
475
00:18:20,935 --> 00:18:23,635
I was gonna apologize for
that, and then I forgot.
476
00:18:23,637 --> 00:18:25,003
But I'm sorry.
477
00:18:25,005 --> 00:18:27,105
So let's just move on. I'm here
478
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,809
to invite you to the
biggest event of the season.
479
00:18:30,811 --> 00:18:32,644
A party.
480
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:34,613
Wow. A flyer.
481
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,648
Is it also, like, a church bake sale, too?
482
00:18:37,419 --> 00:18:39,885
It's gonna be so fun. And I actually...
483
00:18:39,887 --> 00:18:41,520
I really would like you to come.
484
00:18:41,522 --> 00:18:43,455
Let's review. We've been out twice.
485
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:46,725
The first time, we kissed
and then you started crying.
486
00:18:46,727 --> 00:18:49,261
The second time, you kissed
a girl, she didn't like it,
487
00:18:49,263 --> 00:18:52,331
and she left crying. We don't
have a good track record here.
488
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:54,666
Dude, like, that actually
really hurts my feelings,
489
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:57,502
because I consider you to be
one of my best friends here.
490
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,237
- What?
- Yeah, I do.
491
00:18:59,825 --> 00:19:02,738
True, we've had some �altercations,�
492
00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:03,675
if that's what you call them,
493
00:19:03,677 --> 00:19:05,444
yeah, but that's the hallmark
494
00:19:05,446 --> 00:19:07,052
of, like, a strong friendship, you know?
495
00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:10,626
Saying the worst possible
things to each other
496
00:19:11,075 --> 00:19:13,485
and then going to a party.
497
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,720
Wow. It is so tempting.
498
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:16,755
It is so tempt... No.
499
00:19:17,138 --> 00:19:20,511
Okay. Wow. Okay.
500
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:22,630
You know, I tried extending
the olive branch to you,
501
00:19:22,935 --> 00:19:25,896
and you just took those
olives and you plucked 'em
502
00:19:25,989 --> 00:19:28,646
and you chopped them up into
a tapenade of reproach...
503
00:19:28,911 --> 00:19:30,636
You know what, never mind.
I don't care anymore.
504
00:19:30,638 --> 00:19:32,404
Um, good-bye.
505
00:19:32,406 --> 00:19:33,538
(exhales)
506
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,040
(quietly): Face your fears.
507
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:38,057
Hey, Josh, do you want to come to a party?
508
00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:47,474
I'm throwing a...
509
00:19:47,499 --> 00:19:49,232
party. You should come.
510
00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:50,864
No way! That's awesome!
511
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,333
Yeah. See? This is
512
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,341
how a human being responds
513
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:57,224
to another human being's party invitation.
514
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,563
- You're not a human being.
- Oh, just throw a barb
515
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,298
at me and then go to the
stockroom. Real mature.
516
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,533
He's so immature. Sorry about that.
517
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,036
We have kind of a... like, a
Sam and Diane thing going on,
518
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:08,239
except it's, um, unpleasant and un-sexy.
519
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,407
Yeah, so it's just gonna be a...
520
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,410
housewarming shindig
with a-a gaggle of peeps.
521
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,679
And I thought that, you know,
Valencia would be cool with it
522
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,748
since we won't technically be alone.
523
00:20:17,356 --> 00:20:18,783
- Right?
- Huh.
524
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,284
So do you think you might make it?
525
00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:21,486
Sure.
526
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,488
Oh, huzzah!
527
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:23,321
(chuckles)
528
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,689
I mean, that's super...
529
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,657
that's super cool, just
'cause, like, it's gonna be
530
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,493
really chill. Yeah.
531
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,027
Cool. And maybe you could bring, Yeah.
532
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,763
Uh, Hector and White Josh?
533
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,231
Oh, man. They're out of town.
534
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,666
Surf championship in Redondo.
535
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,069
But I'm sure you have other
people to invite, right?
536
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,415
Yeah. No, I'm-I'm inviting, like...
537
00:20:40,966 --> 00:20:42,173
so many people.
538
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:43,241
So, um,
539
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:46,630
I will... I'll see you at my party?
540
00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:47,454
Sure.
541
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:48,678
Okay. Cool.
542
00:20:48,703 --> 00:20:50,469
Cool. I'll see you there.
543
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,074
Hi.
544
00:21:08,099 --> 00:21:09,632
No solicitors.
545
00:21:09,657 --> 00:21:11,557
Oh, no, no. I live next-door, remember?
546
00:21:12,552 --> 00:21:14,071
Oh... yeah.
547
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,106
Yeah, it's me. You know,
548
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,607
I was going around, introducing myself,
549
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,975
handing out those croissants
550
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:18,843
that I made.
551
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:21,078
Yeah, I remember you. (sighs)
552
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,182
Look, just as a tip, we
don't... actually, like,
553
00:21:24,184 --> 00:21:26,227
talk to each other around here.
554
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:29,787
That guy has lived next-door
to me for, like, 11 years,
555
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,823
and, like, I say �guy,� but honestly,
556
00:21:31,825 --> 00:21:33,691
it could be, like...
557
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:36,667
- a stack of cats in a jumpsuit.
- Okay.
558
00:21:36,692 --> 00:21:37,995
Appreciate the info.
559
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,164
But... I like to consider
myself a bridge builder,
560
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,599
and I feel like you and I
561
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:42,800
could shake things up around here.
562
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,203
Yeah, no, I don't see that happening,
563
00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:47,805
but anyways... nice to meet you,
564
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,507
stack of cats in a...
565
00:21:49,997 --> 00:21:51,108
- shirt.
- Wait, wait!
566
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:53,811
The reason I'm here is I want to
invite you to an awesome party.
567
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,514
It's gonna be full-on.
It's gonna be full-on!
568
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:57,915
And I really want you to be there,
569
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,016
'cause you're the coolest person
570
00:21:59,041 --> 00:22:00,307
I think I've ever met.
571
00:22:00,434 --> 00:22:02,835
Um, so I would like you to come to it.
572
00:22:03,528 --> 00:22:06,057
But I'm sensing the slightest
undercurrent of resistance,
573
00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:08,493
- so now I'm kind of...
- What time should I come over?
574
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,827
Wait. You want to come?
575
00:22:10,099 --> 00:22:13,598
Not to party or anything, but just, like...
576
00:22:14,130 --> 00:22:15,733
to watch you.
577
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:17,235
Okay.
578
00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:19,570
I kind of think you're
fascinating, actually.
579
00:22:19,716 --> 00:22:23,107
And I'm taking abnormal psych
at the JC, and I think...
580
00:22:23,294 --> 00:22:26,477
you would make, like, a really good paper.
581
00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:28,692
Why, thank you, madam.
582
00:22:29,249 --> 00:22:31,148
Yeah, see, like that.
583
00:22:31,411 --> 00:22:32,783
That would just...
584
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:37,021
be, like, an �A�
right there. Like, done.
585
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,523
It's the sexy
getting-ready song...
586
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:41,359
- Hi.
- (singsongy): Look what I have!
587
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:42,638
Oh.
588
00:22:43,075 --> 00:22:46,122
Isn't it amaz... ? It's like
a box of fantastic-ness.
589
00:22:47,802 --> 00:22:50,568
Okay, so instead of having just one theme,
590
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,503
we're having all of the themes.
591
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:55,873
And we even have... a
Valentine's Day pi?ata.
592
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,543
Okay, you know what, yeah,
it's, like, hipster-y and ironic.
593
00:22:58,545 --> 00:23:00,578
Like, I could see, like, a
BuzzFeed article about it.
594
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:01,812
Okay, cool. I'm down, I'm down.
595
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,080
Okay, let's go over the guest list.
596
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:05,283
So we got Josh, my super
cool neighbor Heather,
597
00:23:05,285 --> 00:23:06,284
Darryl...
598
00:23:06,286 --> 00:23:07,618
- No!
- Uh, you know...
599
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,287
- Why do you hate me?
- What can I do?
600
00:23:09,289 --> 00:23:11,489
- Come on. He's sad.
- All right. I know.
601
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,958
Um, Mrs. Hernandez was trending positive...
602
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,526
I can never tell with her.
603
00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,928
And let's see. Oh, a lot of the people
604
00:23:16,930 --> 00:23:18,963
I handed the flyer to didn't,
like, technically say yes,
605
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,286
but they gave me a look,
like, �Oh, I'm there.�
606
00:23:21,310 --> 00:23:22,035
(phone chimes)
607
00:23:22,036 --> 00:23:22,800
Nice!
608
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,101
Yeah. Yeah. Good for you.
609
00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:27,038
- Oh, no.
- What?
610
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,205
What? Is it about the party?
611
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,607
Are people not coming? Is it Josh?
612
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:31,676
Is Josh not coming? Wait, why
does Josh have your number?
613
00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:32,877
No, no, it's-it's Tommy, okay?
614
00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,745
There's something going on at the school.
615
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,013
I have to run over...
616
00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:37,181
What?! No, you can't... no,
617
00:23:37,183 --> 00:23:38,649
you can't leave... The party's in an hour.
618
00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:39,784
This was your idea.
619
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,352
What am I gonna do if
you're not here? I have
620
00:23:41,354 --> 00:23:42,219
no one helping me. You can't leave
621
00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:44,055
for some stupid child thing!
622
00:23:44,057 --> 00:23:45,556
I'm sorry, that's really insensitive.
623
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:46,824
Look, the point is, I get it.
624
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,292
It's your child. But
please come back soon. Look,
625
00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:50,161
I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna
take care of this hassle,
626
00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:52,430
I'm gonna turn right back
around, okay? I promise
627
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:55,599
- I will be back soon. Boop.
- Liar.
628
00:24:03,036 --> 00:24:05,109
(quietly): You stole the test?
629
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,611
What? You wanted me to face my fears,
630
00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:08,946
and I was afraid of getting
a bad grade on my test.
631
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,748
Why weren't you afraid of getting caught?
632
00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:12,717
Well, I was, but thanks to you,
633
00:24:13,091 --> 00:24:14,452
I overcame that fear.
634
00:24:15,302 --> 00:24:16,895
- (door opens)
- (exhales)
635
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,754
Mrs. Proctor.
636
00:24:21,123 --> 00:24:23,171
Good luck. He's mean.
637
00:24:23,196 --> 00:24:27,064
(exhales): Oh, my God.
638
00:24:27,646 --> 00:24:29,100
Let me be frank.
639
00:24:29,102 --> 00:24:30,701
Tommy has every issue in the book,
640
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:32,203
so I'm afraid
641
00:24:32,205 --> 00:24:33,838
we're going to have to transfer him
642
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,091
to a special program in Riverside.
643
00:24:36,521 --> 00:24:38,513
But that's, like, an hour away!
644
00:24:38,575 --> 00:24:40,411
We moved to this crap town
645
00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:42,513
- because us the schools.
- I'm sorry,
646
00:24:42,515 --> 00:24:44,281
do you have somewhere more important to be?
647
00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:46,685
No, of course not. I-I...
648
00:24:46,710 --> 00:24:48,819
The transfer hearing is Monday.
649
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:51,088
Y... You can't do this.
650
00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:54,392
He's-he's been diagnosed
with so many things.
651
00:24:54,394 --> 00:24:55,559
(stammering)
652
00:24:55,561 --> 00:24:57,013
He just, he needs help.
653
00:24:57,038 --> 00:24:58,602
I'll see you Monday.
654
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,270
655
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,304
(sighs)
656
00:25:10,309 --> 00:25:12,610
(doorbell rings)
657
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,313
Hi!
658
00:25:16,513 --> 00:25:17,747
Here's a present.
659
00:25:18,794 --> 00:25:20,396
Those are good until midnight.
660
00:25:21,724 --> 00:25:24,736
(scoffs) Oh, man! I thought the house
661
00:25:24,761 --> 00:25:27,495
was literally gonna be on fire.
662
00:25:31,055 --> 00:25:32,263
(exhales)
663
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:35,866
You were right... He's terrifying.
664
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:36,934
He made me forget
665
00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:38,502
everything I was gonna say.
666
00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:39,904
Are you mad at me?
667
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,719
You stole a test, you... ding-dong.
668
00:25:42,744 --> 00:25:44,644
Of course I'm mad at you.
669
00:25:45,133 --> 00:25:46,666
(sighs)
670
00:25:47,138 --> 00:25:48,693
We'll figure something out.
671
00:25:48,718 --> 00:25:50,317
(phone vibrating)
672
00:25:51,559 --> 00:25:52,972
_
673
00:25:52,997 --> 00:25:54,581
(soft gasp) Oh.
674
00:25:54,606 --> 00:25:55,619
Okay,
675
00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:56,921
come on, I will take you home,
676
00:25:56,923 --> 00:26:00,091
but we got to stop somewhere along the way.
677
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:09,934
Hey!
678
00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:11,469
I have terrible news.
679
00:26:11,989 --> 00:26:13,047
Josh isn't coming?
680
00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:15,072
No. He's coming...
681
00:26:16,177 --> 00:26:17,308
to this.
682
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:19,844
Party like it's Weekend Tuesday!
683
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,227
Huh?
684
00:26:25,482 --> 00:26:29,255
This. This is what Josh
is going to walk into.
685
00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:30,964
Nobody came.
686
00:26:31,161 --> 00:26:34,083
I handed out all those
flyers, and nobody showed up.
687
00:26:34,404 --> 00:26:36,004
Even Mrs. Hernandez bagged.
688
00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:37,829
What's she doing on a Friday night?
689
00:26:37,831 --> 00:26:39,664
690
00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:49,073
(panting)
691
00:26:50,803 --> 00:26:52,966
This is exactly what I
thought was gonna happen.
692
00:26:54,314 --> 00:26:55,914
You were wrong, Paula.
693
00:26:55,916 --> 00:26:57,974
This is exactly how it felt
694
00:26:57,999 --> 00:26:59,403
when my father left.
695
00:26:59,662 --> 00:27:01,428
My life is just about to fall apart,
696
00:27:01,430 --> 00:27:02,829
just like it did when I was
697
00:27:02,831 --> 00:27:04,831
12 years old. When Josh walks in here,
698
00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:06,934
he's gonna walk out
699
00:27:06,936 --> 00:27:09,310
just like my dad did,
700
00:27:10,139 --> 00:27:11,239
and he's never gonna come back.
701
00:27:12,041 --> 00:27:14,408
- Don't panic. How long do we have?
- We have 20 minutes.
702
00:27:14,410 --> 00:27:16,543
He texted me that he would
be here in 20 minutes.
703
00:27:16,545 --> 00:27:18,527
I'm gonna, I'm gonna call
him, and I'm gonna say
704
00:27:18,552 --> 00:27:19,880
that the party's canceled...
That's the easy solution.
705
00:27:19,882 --> 00:27:22,549
- I'm just gonna say the pa...
- No. No, no. Hey, no! We are not gonna
706
00:27:22,551 --> 00:27:24,284
give in to fear... We're gonna stand up.
707
00:27:24,286 --> 00:27:25,919
My advice works...
708
00:27:26,153 --> 00:27:28,403
damn it, and I am gonna prove it.
709
00:27:28,745 --> 00:27:29,911
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna be back
710
00:27:29,936 --> 00:27:32,036
in 19 minutes with guests, lots of 'em.
711
00:27:32,094 --> 00:27:33,827
You just need to do the best you can
712
00:27:33,829 --> 00:27:36,830
to make it look like you
are having a great time!
713
00:27:37,841 --> 00:27:39,633
CLERK: Oh, no, no, no, no offense taken.
714
00:27:39,635 --> 00:27:41,501
A lot of people think
it's a congenital thing,
715
00:27:41,503 --> 00:27:42,502
- but actually...
- Oh, really?
716
00:27:42,504 --> 00:27:43,770
Oh, yeah. But actually,
717
00:27:43,772 --> 00:27:45,772
I lit a cigarette using a gas burner.
718
00:27:45,774 --> 00:27:47,507
So not very smart, right?
719
00:27:47,509 --> 00:27:48,875
Lesson learned.
720
00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:50,777
DARRYL: Oh, that must
have been horrible for you.
721
00:27:50,779 --> 00:27:52,012
CLERK: Oh, yeah.
722
00:27:52,014 --> 00:27:54,281
The smell alone was a nightmare.
723
00:27:54,536 --> 00:27:57,184
Okay, party people, let's all have
724
00:27:57,186 --> 00:27:59,753
a dance party by the windows!
725
00:27:59,755 --> 00:28:01,955
726
00:28:01,957 --> 00:28:03,790
- I'm not much of a dancer.
- Oh, yeah!
727
00:28:03,792 --> 00:28:05,158
- Why the windows?
- Whoo!
728
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,160
We are raising the roof over here!
729
00:28:07,162 --> 00:28:08,595
MAN: Shut up!
730
00:28:08,597 --> 00:28:11,198
- Come over!
- No!
731
00:28:12,333 --> 00:28:15,002
TOMMY: Hey, look... people! Lots of people!
732
00:28:15,004 --> 00:28:17,804
PAULA: Oh, something
anonymous just got out.
733
00:28:18,302 --> 00:28:19,942
I'll take 'em!
734
00:28:19,973 --> 00:28:21,205
Are you guys drunks?
735
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:23,510
Gamblers.
736
00:28:23,739 --> 00:28:25,312
Perfect!
737
00:28:26,115 --> 00:28:28,215
Oh! Is that all you got, you wuss?
738
00:28:28,217 --> 00:28:30,017
Hey, I don't care for that word.
739
00:28:30,019 --> 00:28:31,218
Oh, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss.
740
00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:34,354
Hey, Josh, it's me, Rebecca.
741
00:28:34,356 --> 00:28:36,290
Um, so I-I think I had
742
00:28:36,292 --> 00:28:38,392
some of that weird
garbage disposal chicken,
743
00:28:38,394 --> 00:28:40,227
um, and I'm not feeling so hot,
744
00:28:40,229 --> 00:28:41,695
so I've decided to cancel the party.
745
00:28:41,697 --> 00:28:45,310
I hope that you have a
good... Friday night. Um...
746
00:28:46,538 --> 00:28:48,004
Hi!
747
00:28:48,437 --> 00:28:50,237
- Hey!
- Hi!
748
00:28:50,239 --> 00:28:51,471
- Hi!
- Oh. Hey, what's up?
749
00:28:51,473 --> 00:28:53,040
- Hello.
- It's so good to see you.
750
00:28:53,042 --> 00:28:54,474
- Welcome.
- Uh, thanks.
751
00:28:54,476 --> 00:28:56,060
Nice to see you.
752
00:28:56,085 --> 00:28:58,378
Do you want to maybe go
for a walk around the block?
753
00:28:58,380 --> 00:29:00,113
I have to go get some cigarettes.
754
00:29:00,115 --> 00:29:01,248
I'm a smoker.
755
00:29:01,692 --> 00:29:03,450
Yeah, big smoker.
756
00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:04,685
Um...
757
00:29:04,687 --> 00:29:05,986
What?
758
00:29:05,988 --> 00:29:07,688
(sighs)
759
00:29:07,690 --> 00:29:09,556
What?
760
00:29:09,558 --> 00:29:10,731
Whoa.
761
00:29:11,492 --> 00:29:12,833
What happened here?
762
00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:19,107
Um...
763
00:29:19,978 --> 00:29:21,412
Okay, so...
764
00:29:21,582 --> 00:29:24,016
it's more of, like, an intimate soiree...
765
00:29:24,041 --> 00:29:25,840
now, because I thought that a party
766
00:29:25,944 --> 00:29:27,357
would be too tacky.
767
00:29:27,786 --> 00:29:29,342
(sighs): Um...
768
00:29:29,965 --> 00:29:32,123
No, that's not what I thought.
769
00:29:32,148 --> 00:29:35,349
Okay, so you know how I, I
wanted to throw this big party?
770
00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:37,014
Uh-huh. I handed out a ton of flyers...
771
00:29:37,555 --> 00:29:38,584
and nobody came.
772
00:29:38,609 --> 00:29:41,764
Wait. You're upset... about this?
773
00:29:41,950 --> 00:29:44,217
I threw a party...
774
00:29:44,493 --> 00:29:46,193
and nobody came.
775
00:29:46,649 --> 00:29:48,148
(laughing)
776
00:29:48,173 --> 00:29:49,973
I know, it's hilarious.
777
00:29:49,975 --> 00:29:54,211
Of course! You just moved
into town, you banana.
778
00:29:54,213 --> 00:29:56,046
Of course you don't have a million friends.
779
00:29:56,048 --> 00:29:57,681
You know, that'd be weird if you did.
780
00:29:57,683 --> 00:29:59,549
If there had been a ton of people here,
781
00:29:59,551 --> 00:30:02,154
it would seem like you just invited
random people you didn't know.
782
00:30:02,179 --> 00:30:04,898
- Oh, my God, that'd be so weird.
- Yeah, totally.
783
00:30:04,923 --> 00:30:06,323
Don't be sad, Becks.
784
00:30:06,325 --> 00:30:08,701
You have a lot of cool
stuff going on in your life.
785
00:30:08,726 --> 00:30:12,128
Great job, um, sweet apartment, plus...
786
00:30:12,398 --> 00:30:14,154
you're, like, a kick-ass career gal.
787
00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:17,251
(chuckles) Well, I... I am a prime earner
788
00:30:17,276 --> 00:30:18,498
at Whitefeather already.
789
00:30:18,523 --> 00:30:21,396
Yeah, damn straight you
are. Whatever that is.
790
00:30:21,429 --> 00:30:23,096
I mean, you're crushing it.
791
00:30:23,263 --> 00:30:24,429
Look at you.
792
00:30:24,454 --> 00:30:27,021
You just moved to town,
you throw a big party.
793
00:30:27,046 --> 00:30:28,512
You're fearless.
794
00:30:28,537 --> 00:30:29,870
Oh. (chuckles)
795
00:30:29,882 --> 00:30:30,881
I am.
796
00:30:30,883 --> 00:30:32,048
You know, Becks,
797
00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:34,251
if you really wanted
more people at your party,
798
00:30:34,253 --> 00:30:36,386
that's easy... any idiot can do that.
799
00:30:36,388 --> 00:30:37,888
(scoffs)
800
00:30:37,890 --> 00:30:39,589
Is... that what you want?
801
00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:42,772
Sweet. Let's do it.
802
00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:44,563
All right, get over
here, guys. You, Dreads,
803
00:30:44,588 --> 00:30:45,988
over here. You, Fun Guy,
804
00:30:46,123 --> 00:30:47,722
I need you over... yeah.
805
00:30:47,747 --> 00:30:49,514
You're gonna wear my shades. Awesome sauce.
806
00:30:49,539 --> 00:30:51,272
You, Mr. Tall Man, you stand there.
807
00:30:51,297 --> 00:30:54,064
Okay, now the key to a good party selfie
808
00:30:54,089 --> 00:30:57,157
is attitude... what?! Yes!
809
00:30:57,209 --> 00:30:58,608
Swag.
810
00:30:58,610 --> 00:30:59,609
Ooh.
811
00:30:59,611 --> 00:31:01,111
Good.
812
00:31:01,113 --> 00:31:03,079
(laughs) That's good. Okay, and...
813
00:31:03,081 --> 00:31:04,209
a killer smile.
814
00:31:04,234 --> 00:31:07,161
Ready guys? (laughs)
That's good. Ok, come on...
815
00:31:07,186 --> 00:31:08,385
Say �selfie.�
816
00:31:08,387 --> 00:31:09,586
ALL: Selfie... !
817
00:31:09,588 --> 00:31:11,555
Ha!
818
00:31:11,557 --> 00:31:14,060
Ha-ha! Then we post this puppy online.
819
00:31:14,226 --> 00:31:17,233
And write: "This house
820
00:31:17,257 --> 00:31:20,073
is on fire!"
821
00:31:20,098 --> 00:31:22,632
Exclam-Exclamation point. Ah... send!
822
00:31:22,634 --> 00:31:24,076
Then we see what happens. Huh.
823
00:31:24,101 --> 00:31:25,567
(knocking on door)
824
00:31:27,310 --> 00:31:30,340
Who's ready to party... ?!
825
00:31:30,342 --> 00:31:33,404
(shouts, cheers, whoops)
826
00:31:33,429 --> 00:31:34,629
You got dice?
827
00:31:35,107 --> 00:31:37,709
I can find some! (whoops)
828
00:31:57,970 --> 00:32:00,654
Oh, uh, this is Arielle
829
00:32:00,679 --> 00:32:02,579
and Chuck.
830
00:32:02,604 --> 00:32:05,438
And this guy!
831
00:32:05,463 --> 00:32:07,029
Hi. What-What's his name?
832
00:32:07,189 --> 00:32:09,056
I don't know, I just
call him �this guy�"
833
00:32:09,081 --> 00:32:11,474
I've known him since kindergarten.
834
00:32:11,499 --> 00:32:13,851
Yeah, I'm just so bad in school.
835
00:32:14,007 --> 00:32:16,507
Dude, let me tell you something right now.
836
00:32:16,618 --> 00:32:19,719
Being good at school means nothing.
837
00:32:20,035 --> 00:32:22,748
Like, see her?
838
00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:26,076
Oh, do it, do it! You got it!
839
00:32:26,101 --> 00:32:28,001
She went to Harvard.
840
00:32:28,314 --> 00:32:29,914
Okay?
841
00:32:29,939 --> 00:32:30,971
And she's a mess.
842
00:32:31,053 --> 00:32:32,162
Yeah. Dude,
843
00:32:32,187 --> 00:32:33,653
I was horrible at school,
844
00:32:33,856 --> 00:32:36,957
but that's because instead
of reading their stupid books,
845
00:32:36,959 --> 00:32:40,527
I was busy reading everything
Salinger ever wrote.
846
00:32:40,529 --> 00:32:43,297
And you're, like, totally
successful and rich now, right?
847
00:32:43,299 --> 00:32:46,600
Not at all.
848
00:32:46,602 --> 00:32:48,268
But I'm cool,
849
00:32:48,270 --> 00:32:49,936
and that's what really matters.
850
00:32:49,938 --> 00:32:52,839
I like you. I like you so...
851
00:32:52,841 --> 00:32:54,107
I, can I... can I just,
852
00:32:54,109 --> 00:32:55,542
just grab it? There you go. It's fine.
853
00:32:55,544 --> 00:32:58,278
It's my personal boundaries...
854
00:33:01,450 --> 00:33:03,183
We're fine. I swallowed the barf!
855
00:33:03,185 --> 00:33:05,385
- Oh, she swallowed the barf!
- I swallowed my barf!
856
00:33:05,387 --> 00:33:08,088
She swallowed the barf!
857
00:33:08,090 --> 00:33:10,123
858
00:33:10,125 --> 00:33:11,928
Oh!
859
00:33:12,027 --> 00:33:13,359
Oh! Oh, my God.
860
00:33:13,595 --> 00:33:15,595
You know, at first, I had
my doubts about this party.
861
00:33:15,597 --> 00:33:17,597
I mean, it's no Weekend Tuesday,
you know what I'm saying?
862
00:33:17,599 --> 00:33:19,900
But now? I mean, this is a blast.
863
00:33:19,902 --> 00:33:21,835
Oh, and I even met this great girl Megan
864
00:33:21,837 --> 00:33:23,570
who said she found your flyer in a gutter.
865
00:33:23,572 --> 00:33:26,073
Oh, she's such a good listener.
866
00:33:26,075 --> 00:33:27,808
And I told her all about my divorce.
867
00:33:27,810 --> 00:33:29,976
But I think she's from
England, because, I mean,
868
00:33:29,978 --> 00:33:32,145
her teeth are not good. But she gave me
869
00:33:32,147 --> 00:33:33,780
this terrific menthol cigarette.
870
00:33:33,860 --> 00:33:35,460
(inhales) Mmm.
871
00:33:35,485 --> 00:33:36,984
Um...
872
00:33:37,803 --> 00:33:40,437
I think Megan might be a meth addict.
873
00:33:40,462 --> 00:33:43,396
Oh, yeah? I think you
maybe just smoked meth.
874
00:33:43,421 --> 00:33:45,355
Oh. Okay. Well, you know, that'd explain
875
00:33:45,380 --> 00:33:47,146
why I've been digging
a hole in the backyard
876
00:33:47,171 --> 00:33:49,170
for the last hour.
(laughs) But it's still fun!
877
00:33:49,196 --> 00:33:51,163
Hey, Megan, honey,
878
00:33:51,188 --> 00:33:53,014
let's clean something. (whoops)
879
00:33:57,576 --> 00:33:59,172
GREG: Wow.
880
00:33:59,174 --> 00:34:01,541
This party is a real who's-who of...
881
00:34:01,543 --> 00:34:03,477
who?
882
00:34:03,479 --> 00:34:08,115
Well, if it isn't Mr. I
Can't Come to Your Party
883
00:34:08,117 --> 00:34:11,551
Because I Have a Bunch
of Complicated Reasons,
884
00:34:11,553 --> 00:34:14,354
I Probably Have to Buy More Black Clothing,
885
00:34:14,356 --> 00:34:15,498
Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.
886
00:34:15,523 --> 00:34:17,056
That's a long name I have. Polish?
887
00:34:18,068 --> 00:34:19,126
All right.
888
00:34:19,128 --> 00:34:21,092
Sincerely, thank you for coming.
889
00:34:21,117 --> 00:34:22,740
It means a lot to me that you're here.
890
00:34:22,765 --> 00:34:24,165
Well, you took all my customers.
891
00:34:24,190 --> 00:34:26,223
I usually get the gamblers
after their meeting.
892
00:34:26,248 --> 00:34:27,447
Then I started thinking,
893
00:34:27,472 --> 00:34:29,005
�I've got to show up to this party to see
894
00:34:29,030 --> 00:34:31,497
in what gruesome way it
could all go wrong.�
895
00:34:31,740 --> 00:34:33,974
I figured at least a porch collapse.
896
00:34:34,154 --> 00:34:35,553
But, now that I'm here...
897
00:34:36,445 --> 00:34:38,545
- It's not that bad.
- Yeah,
898
00:34:38,547 --> 00:34:40,180
it's pretty great, right?
899
00:34:40,756 --> 00:34:43,201
And I have one person to thank for that.
900
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,592
Hey, girl.
901
00:34:52,594 --> 00:34:54,561
I know that as a kid you never got to see
902
00:34:54,563 --> 00:34:56,530
that boy band concert
on pay-per-view.
903
00:34:56,532 --> 00:34:57,864
But it's okay.
904
00:34:57,866 --> 00:34:59,599
Because I'm here now.
905
00:34:59,601 --> 00:35:02,169
And I'm all the boy band you'll ever need.
906
00:35:02,171 --> 00:35:04,171
Oh, oh, oh, oh
907
00:35:04,173 --> 00:35:06,773
Girl, I know things haven't always
908
00:35:06,775 --> 00:35:09,643
Been so easy for you
909
00:35:09,645 --> 00:35:11,778
Kids were mean and your daddy
910
00:35:11,780 --> 00:35:14,948
Walked right out the door, too
911
00:35:14,950 --> 00:35:16,817
Maybe we should have a session
912
00:35:16,819 --> 00:35:19,653
Address your anxiety and depression
913
00:35:19,655 --> 00:35:23,790
'Cause I got a funny
feeling if we do
914
00:35:25,761 --> 00:35:27,594
Baby, you can
915
00:35:27,596 --> 00:35:30,403
Kiss all your childhood
traumas goodbye
916
00:35:30,428 --> 00:35:31,698
(audience shrieking)
917
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:33,718
You're never gonna miss
918
00:35:33,743 --> 00:35:35,669
All that stress you've been
919
00:35:35,671 --> 00:35:37,904
Keeping inside
920
00:35:37,906 --> 00:35:40,607
All your psychological problems
921
00:35:40,609 --> 00:35:43,076
Girl, we're gonna solve them
922
00:35:43,078 --> 00:35:44,611
'Cause we're not just a boy band
923
00:35:44,613 --> 00:35:45,979
Made up of four Joshes
924
00:35:45,981 --> 00:35:47,781
We're also a team of licensed
925
00:35:47,783 --> 00:35:49,783
Mental health professionals
926
00:35:49,785 --> 00:35:51,451
We'll help you
927
00:35:51,453 --> 00:35:53,920
Understand the reasons
928
00:35:53,922 --> 00:35:56,289
That your mom made you sad
929
00:35:56,291 --> 00:35:58,391
And why every man you date
930
00:35:58,393 --> 00:36:01,394
Is just a stand-in for your dad
931
00:36:01,396 --> 00:36:03,730
You'll stop revisiting your fears
932
00:36:03,732 --> 00:36:06,967
Once we wipe away your tears
933
00:36:06,969 --> 00:36:10,403
Trust us, girl, your
prognosis isn't bad
934
00:36:10,405 --> 00:36:12,572
- (screams)
-
Baby, you can kiss
935
00:36:12,574 --> 00:36:14,774
All your unexplained
936
00:36:14,776 --> 00:36:17,043
Symptoms good-bye
937
00:36:17,045 --> 00:36:19,546
You're never gonna miss
all those nightmares
938
00:36:19,548 --> 00:36:22,382
In which you tend to die
939
00:36:22,384 --> 00:36:25,318
We'll get you through
those developmental stages
940
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,953
That you've been stuck in for ages
941
00:36:26,955 --> 00:36:28,522
'Cause we're not just
942
00:36:28,524 --> 00:36:30,624
A boy band made up of four Joshes
943
00:36:30,626 --> 00:36:32,893
We're also a team of
nationally recognized
944
00:36:32,895 --> 00:36:34,661
Mental health professionals
945
00:36:34,663 --> 00:36:36,897
Trained in cognitive
behavioral therapy
946
00:36:36,899 --> 00:36:38,532
With specialties in
947
00:36:38,534 --> 00:36:41,528
Personality and sleep disorders
948
00:36:41,553 --> 00:36:45,688
And love.
949
00:36:46,725 --> 00:36:48,975
(Josh speaking indistinctly)
950
00:36:48,977 --> 00:36:51,545
JOSH: And the guy is like, �Me, I'm fine.
951
00:36:51,547 --> 00:36:52,746
See that girl over there�"
952
00:36:52,748 --> 00:36:54,053
(phone dings)
953
00:36:55,694 --> 00:36:58,337
- _
-
Everything is A-OK
954
00:36:58,370 --> 00:37:01,638
So everybody say...
955
00:37:04,390 --> 00:37:05,723
Um...
956
00:37:05,725 --> 00:37:07,710
is everything okay?
957
00:37:07,735 --> 00:37:09,869
Uh... no, it's...
958
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:11,193
it's-it's not important.
959
00:37:11,218 --> 00:37:13,319
I-I can get back to them later.
960
00:37:13,343 --> 00:37:15,958
I am having a blast right now.
961
00:37:15,983 --> 00:37:17,241
- Great.
- Yeah.
962
00:37:17,266 --> 00:37:19,943
- Great.
- So...
963
00:37:19,973 --> 00:37:21,539
I should go.
964
00:37:21,541 --> 00:37:23,674
Tommy just called us an Uber.
965
00:37:23,676 --> 00:37:26,310
'Cause I am... wuz-asted.
966
00:37:26,312 --> 00:37:28,980
Which is a word I just learned
967
00:37:28,982 --> 00:37:31,749
playing pai gow with a charming man
968
00:37:32,051 --> 00:37:33,417
from Azusa.
969
00:37:33,419 --> 00:37:35,987
Boop. (laughs)
970
00:37:36,178 --> 00:37:38,389
You threw a great party.
971
00:37:38,391 --> 00:37:41,492
No. We threw a great party.
972
00:37:41,494 --> 00:37:43,094
(both grunt)
973
00:37:43,096 --> 00:37:44,629
And you...
974
00:37:44,631 --> 00:37:47,053
You are a brave little cookie.
975
00:37:49,325 --> 00:37:53,094
Okay. Come on. Show Mommy
where the front door is.
976
00:37:53,647 --> 00:37:55,172
CLERK: Hey, so,
977
00:37:55,174 --> 00:37:56,874
thanks for the party. Real fun.
978
00:37:56,876 --> 00:38:00,154
And I'll see you at the store, Betsy.
979
00:38:00,452 --> 00:38:01,905
Actually, my name is Rebecca.
980
00:38:01,930 --> 00:38:03,463
Don't care.
981
00:38:06,819 --> 00:38:08,529
Hey, um...
982
00:38:08,788 --> 00:38:10,388
I saw that you got
983
00:38:10,390 --> 00:38:11,789
a text from Valencia earlier.
984
00:38:11,791 --> 00:38:13,591
I hope I'm not causing any problems.
985
00:38:13,593 --> 00:38:15,092
No, no, no, no. I realized,
986
00:38:15,094 --> 00:38:17,361
you know, I-I shouldn't
have listened to her.
987
00:38:17,363 --> 00:38:19,797
I shouldn't be afraid
of my girlfriend, right?
988
00:38:19,799 --> 00:38:20,831
So I told her,
989
00:38:20,833 --> 00:38:22,671
�I'll-I'll come home when I want to.�
990
00:38:23,878 --> 00:38:25,952
Actually, it was a little scary.
991
00:38:26,973 --> 00:38:30,307
Yeah. Actually, you know,
I-I faced a fear earlier
992
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:32,777
and turned out pretty okay.
993
00:38:32,779 --> 00:38:35,146
You know, from now on,
uh, since we're friends,
994
00:38:35,148 --> 00:38:37,148
we should just, you know, hang out
995
00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:38,749
whenever we want to, don't you think?
996
00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:41,218
Yeah. That...
997
00:38:41,220 --> 00:38:43,754
I mean, yeah. Let's do it.
998
00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:46,757
- The world be damned.
- All right, yeah.
999
00:38:46,759 --> 00:38:48,726
Wha... It's just...
1000
00:38:50,096 --> 00:38:51,595
- Well, I got to go.
- Yeah, yeah,
1001
00:38:51,597 --> 00:38:52,663
let's get you out of here. I'll-I'll...
1002
00:38:52,665 --> 00:38:54,565
don't worry about that.
1003
00:38:54,567 --> 00:38:56,801
Oh. It was a great party.
1004
00:38:56,803 --> 00:38:59,236
Thanks. Thank you.
1005
00:38:59,238 --> 00:39:01,872
- This house was on fire!
- Oh!
1006
00:39:01,874 --> 00:39:04,141
- (laughs) Yeah!
- Oh, I get it. Oh.
1007
00:39:07,113 --> 00:39:08,436
Later.
1008
00:39:08,518 --> 00:39:10,317
Later.
1009
00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:12,783
Sooner rather than... (laughs)
1010
00:39:16,118 --> 00:39:17,817
(door closes) Uh, hi.
1011
00:39:18,296 --> 00:39:19,575
I didn't know you were still here.
1012
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:21,125
I thought you already left.
1013
00:39:21,127 --> 00:39:23,882
(chuckles) Oh, I don't leave
when there's whiskey left.
1014
00:39:24,087 --> 00:39:25,353
Oh.
1015
00:39:25,378 --> 00:39:26,810
Hey, you know what?
1016
00:39:26,835 --> 00:39:27,801
Take it home.
1017
00:39:27,867 --> 00:39:29,300
That's my gift to you.
1018
00:39:29,302 --> 00:39:30,968
Thank you.
1019
00:39:30,970 --> 00:39:32,303
You know, I get it now.
1020
00:39:32,305 --> 00:39:33,604
What do you get?
1021
00:39:33,606 --> 00:39:35,406
How you feel about Josh.
1022
00:39:35,897 --> 00:39:37,108
I saw it on your face.
1023
00:39:37,110 --> 00:39:39,610
It was weird and sad and...
1024
00:39:40,585 --> 00:39:42,012
also kind of beautiful
1025
00:39:42,014 --> 00:39:44,897
in a pure and un-ironic way.
1026
00:39:46,637 --> 00:39:48,203
I don't know what you're talking about.
1027
00:39:48,228 --> 00:39:49,728
Josh and I are just friends.
1028
00:39:49,753 --> 00:39:51,519
You guys are just friends.
1029
00:39:51,544 --> 00:39:53,310
We guys are just friends.
1030
00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:55,025
Everyone guys are just friends.
1031
00:39:55,027 --> 00:39:56,894
Okay, okay.
1032
00:39:56,896 --> 00:39:58,022
- Drunkie.
- Drunkie.
1033
00:39:58,047 --> 00:40:00,314
Let's call you... whoa!
1034
00:40:00,477 --> 00:40:03,311
Let's get a ride-sharing service, right?
1035
00:40:03,336 --> 00:40:05,770
You know, you're really
starting to fit in here.
1036
00:40:05,772 --> 00:40:07,004
Thank you.
1037
00:40:07,006 --> 00:40:09,140
That's not a compliment.
1038
00:40:12,478 --> 00:40:14,046
I can't do this.
1039
00:40:14,071 --> 00:40:16,705
Yes, you can. And I'll
be right here, I promise.
1040
00:40:16,730 --> 00:40:18,830
What if I forget all the
stuff I'm supposed to say?
1041
00:40:26,053 --> 00:40:27,892
You are not kicking Tommy out.
1042
00:40:28,303 --> 00:40:29,593
I know what my rights are.
1043
00:40:29,595 --> 00:40:31,629
'Cause I looked 'em up.
1044
00:40:31,631 --> 00:40:35,699
And there is a statute and it is called...
1045
00:40:35,968 --> 00:40:39,103
the fair access rule.
1046
00:40:39,335 --> 00:40:42,499
And if you expel Tommy, then you are...
1047
00:40:42,809 --> 00:40:44,475
liable for a
1048
00:40:44,477 --> 00:40:48,312
$26,000-per year stipend
1049
00:40:48,314 --> 00:40:51,866
for... special education.
1050
00:40:52,678 --> 00:40:56,053
If you drop the transfer hearing,
1051
00:40:56,055 --> 00:40:59,343
then... I will let you off the hook.
1052
00:41:00,014 --> 00:41:01,392
See,
1053
00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:03,468
this is your problem:
1054
00:41:06,065 --> 00:41:08,241
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
1055
00:41:09,236 --> 00:41:10,835
(laughs)
1056
00:41:11,647 --> 00:41:13,737
That is right.
1057
00:41:13,739 --> 00:41:16,073
(knocks)
1058
00:41:19,245 --> 00:41:20,678
YOUNG REBECCA: That went well.
1059
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:22,880
Much better than I thought.
1060
00:41:23,124 --> 00:41:25,655
So tell me some other
stuff about my future.
1061
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,748
Okay, so you're gonna
go to Harvard and Yale.
1062
00:41:28,773 --> 00:41:32,174
Yeah, yeah, so when exactly
do I get those boobs?
1063
00:41:32,686 --> 00:41:35,626
Oh. Um, I think age 14?
1064
00:41:35,628 --> 00:41:36,858
I see.
1065
00:41:37,218 --> 00:41:39,351
So, at Yale, you're
gonna be editor in chief
1066
00:41:39,376 --> 00:41:40,542
of the law journal.
1067
00:41:40,733 --> 00:41:43,067
Sounds great. Back to
the boobs for a second,
1068
00:41:43,069 --> 00:41:44,101
when you say 14,
1069
00:41:44,103 --> 00:41:46,837
are we talking by my birthday party?
1070
00:41:47,210 --> 00:41:50,040
Are we talking swimsuit season?
1071
00:41:50,171 --> 00:41:51,775
Also, do they float?
1072
00:41:52,757 --> 00:41:53,663
Yeah.
1073
00:41:53,688 --> 00:41:57,343
Nice! Girl with Mustache
owes me ten dollars.
1074
00:41:58,906 --> 00:42:01,026
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
1075
00:42:01,076 --> 00:42:05,626
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