Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,883 --> 00:00:03,373
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
2
00:00:03,398 --> 00:00:05,100
Whoever this Josh Chan is,
3
00:00:05,125 --> 00:00:06,758
you are, you're obsessed with him.
4
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,009
So you're saying that I
moved here from New York
5
00:00:08,011 --> 00:00:09,961
and I left behind a job
that would've paid me
6
00:00:09,963 --> 00:00:12,213
$545,000 a year for a guy
7
00:00:12,215 --> 00:00:15,120
I dated for two months when
I was 16 at a summer camp?
8
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,671
- I did not do that.
- What's the deal with you and Josh?
9
00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,229
Josh isn't my type.
10
00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:22,534
But, like, speaking of types,
11
00:00:22,536 --> 00:00:25,170
- like, what type's his girlfriend?
- I should go.
12
00:00:25,172 --> 00:00:26,288
Did you see this r?sum??
13
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:27,589
Harvard? Yale?
14
00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:29,074
What the hell is she doing here?
15
00:00:29,076 --> 00:00:31,910
I was working hard
at a New York job
16
00:00:31,912 --> 00:00:33,845
Making dough but it made me blue
17
00:00:33,847 --> 00:00:35,464
One day I was crying a lot
18
00:00:35,466 --> 00:00:36,715
And so I decided to move
19
00:00:36,717 --> 00:00:38,416
To West Covina, California
20
00:00:38,418 --> 00:00:39,601
Brand new pals and new career
21
00:00:39,603 --> 00:00:41,656
It happens to be where Josh lives
22
00:00:41,681 --> 00:00:44,015
But that's not why I'm here
23
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,452
-
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
-
What? No, I'm not.
24
00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:48,310
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
25
00:00:48,312 --> 00:00:49,594
That's a sexist term.
26
00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:50,929
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
27
00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:52,264
Can you guys stop
singing for just a second?
28
00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:54,406
She's so broken inside
29
00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:56,178
The situation's a lot
more nuanced than that.
30
00:00:56,203 --> 00:00:58,046
C-R-A-Z-Y
31
00:00:58,071 --> 00:00:59,320
Okay! We get it!
32
00:00:59,623 --> 00:01:01,171
Crazy ex-girlfriend.
33
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,195
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
34
00:01:03,459 --> 00:01:05,148
REBECCA: Ugh...
35
00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:06,389
It's so hot.
36
00:01:06,605 --> 00:01:08,021
Is it always this hot?
37
00:01:08,046 --> 00:01:09,062
Yeah.
38
00:01:09,262 --> 00:01:11,429
You're getting a sexy SoCal farmer's tan.
39
00:01:11,454 --> 00:01:13,037
Now, that's a good look.
40
00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:14,720
- So I've been thinking about it...
- Yes?
41
00:01:14,722 --> 00:01:16,471
And there could be, like,
42
00:01:16,473 --> 00:01:18,674
a million reasons why
Josh hasn't texted me back.
43
00:01:18,676 --> 00:01:20,625
Look, he specifically wrote in his text:
44
00:01:20,650 --> 00:01:23,265
�Want to grab dinner? Smiley face.�
45
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,206
Which is the least he
can do, since you left
46
00:01:25,231 --> 00:01:27,365
your great job and moved
to this dump to be with him.
47
00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:29,289
Hey! I didn't move here for him, remember?
48
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:30,614
I moved here because I needed a change
49
00:01:30,639 --> 00:01:32,170
and Josh just happens to be here.
50
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:33,171
Get it straight.
51
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:36,113
Oh, are we still doing that? Okay.
52
00:01:36,193 --> 00:01:38,143
All right, just let me know
when we can stop, because
53
00:01:38,145 --> 00:01:40,420
I actually want to know what's keeping him
54
00:01:40,445 --> 00:01:41,670
from having dinner with his dear old friend
55
00:01:41,696 --> 00:01:43,571
- from summer camp.
- I don't know.
56
00:01:43,595 --> 00:01:45,898
- What are you... Don't do that.
- Let's see what he's been up to.
57
00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:48,473
- You can't take a person's personal
electronic... - I just did
58
00:01:48,498 --> 00:01:50,281
Oh, look at this.
59
00:01:50,306 --> 00:01:51,906
What? Wait, wait, wait.
Has he updated his status
60
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:52,992
in the last 20 minutes?
61
00:01:53,711 --> 00:01:54,812
Not that I've been checking, I was...
62
00:01:54,837 --> 00:01:57,007
Checking? Oh, that is amateur hour.
63
00:01:57,032 --> 00:01:59,032
You gotta change your
push notifications. Look.
64
00:01:59,057 --> 00:02:01,460
He is going to a club called Spiders
65
00:02:01,485 --> 00:02:03,101
with his friends tonight.
66
00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:05,093
And so, we will, too.
67
00:02:05,118 --> 00:02:07,068
Spiders. I drove by there the other night.
68
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,342
It was hopping.
69
00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:09,482
But I always wonder, though,
70
00:02:09,507 --> 00:02:10,523
is it possessive Spider's
71
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,631
or plural Spiders?
72
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:13,405
Because every time I see a flyer for it,
73
00:02:13,406 --> 00:02:15,223
the apostrophe's in a different location.
74
00:02:15,484 --> 00:02:16,691
What difference does it make?
75
00:02:16,693 --> 00:02:17,892
It doesn't make a
difference, it's just, like,
76
00:02:17,894 --> 00:02:19,027
it's two different things.
77
00:02:19,029 --> 00:02:21,079
Like, either the club is owned by a spider
78
00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:23,364
or the club is filled with,
like, a bunch of spiders.
79
00:02:23,366 --> 00:02:24,532
So... it's a different thing.
80
00:02:24,534 --> 00:02:26,067
Okay, let's go back to
what you were saying.
81
00:02:26,069 --> 00:02:27,068
You know what?
82
00:02:27,070 --> 00:02:28,119
I actually really like your idea.
83
00:02:28,121 --> 00:02:29,087
Let's go to Spider's tonight.
84
00:02:29,089 --> 00:02:30,421
(gasps) Just, like, as a gal date.
85
00:02:30,423 --> 00:02:32,040
Like, not-not 'cause Josh is there.
86
00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:33,407
In fact, I hope Josh isn't there,
87
00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:36,177
so that when I do my sexy
88
00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:37,762
dance moves, it's just for me.
89
00:02:37,764 --> 00:02:39,297
It's just for me.
90
00:02:39,299 --> 00:02:41,299
(dance music playing)
91
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:45,545
Oh!
92
00:02:45,570 --> 00:02:46,609
Hey!
93
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,500
Hi. Cool hat.
94
00:02:48,525 --> 00:02:49,891
Hats are the new tattoos.
95
00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:50,775
Oh, yeah, I read that.
96
00:02:50,777 --> 00:02:51,859
Let's go find Josh.
97
00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:53,117
Okay, well, you can find Josh
98
00:02:53,142 --> 00:02:54,593
and I'll be in there just checking out
99
00:02:54,618 --> 00:02:56,401
the local indigenous culture. Uh-huh.
100
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,093
Well, while you're in there chatting
101
00:02:58,118 --> 00:02:59,751
about the majestic
history of the 10 freeway,
102
00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:01,559
I'm gonna be asking Josh Chan
103
00:03:01,584 --> 00:03:03,300
why he's been dodging you.
104
00:03:04,576 --> 00:03:06,476
See, now, there it's possessive.
105
00:03:09,047 --> 00:03:10,147
PAULA: Yo...
106
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:11,648
You see my hat?
107
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,183
It's like a tattoo,
108
00:03:13,687 --> 00:03:15,402
but on my head.
109
00:03:15,968 --> 00:03:17,154
(whispers): Let us in.
110
00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:18,989
You on the list, Mrs. Butterworth?
111
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:20,908
I don't care for that tone...
112
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,776
- Or that reference.
- Okay. Um, I... I...
113
00:03:22,778 --> 00:03:23,994
I got this. Sorry.
114
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,896
Sorry, she doesn't know about club culture.
115
00:03:25,898 --> 00:03:28,492
Um... I should've done this earlier,
116
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,368
it's more suave, but... let us in?
117
00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,120
Thank you.
118
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,205
Yo, this is $500.
119
00:03:35,207 --> 00:03:36,907
Um... yeah.
120
00:03:36,909 --> 00:03:38,175
Yeah, it is.
121
00:03:38,648 --> 00:03:40,461
Look, if this had been a 20, you'd be good.
122
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,047
But either you're a cop
or you're a drug dealer.
123
00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:44,695
Either way, y'all ain't getting in.
124
00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:47,382
Okay.
125
00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:48,936
Okay...
126
00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,721
Okay. Yeah.
127
00:03:50,723 --> 00:03:52,089
No, not tonight. No.
128
00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:53,140
Oh, see... Hey, hey.
129
00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:54,358
Come on. Come on. Come on, come on.
130
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,692
You gonna get runs in your stockings
131
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,227
and all that stuff,
man, you don't want that.
132
00:03:57,229 --> 00:03:58,145
Gotta keep moving. Come on.
133
00:03:58,147 --> 00:03:59,530
Okay. All right.
134
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:00,481
I'm sorry, not tonight.
135
00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:01,698
Just... easy, easy, killer.
136
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,934
All right. You know.
137
00:04:03,936 --> 00:04:05,903
All right. Well, if we're
not getting in the club,
138
00:04:05,905 --> 00:04:06,987
do you want to...
139
00:04:06,989 --> 00:04:08,438
do you want to hang out, do something else?
140
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:09,573
Ooh!
141
00:04:09,575 --> 00:04:11,075
There's a new Olive Garden in Arcadia.
142
00:04:11,077 --> 00:04:12,409
They're still figuring out their portions.
143
00:04:12,523 --> 00:04:13,460
Nah, I don't...
144
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,912
I kind of want to just call it a night.
145
00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:16,713
No... oh, come on, man.
146
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:17,831
I got a pass.
147
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,166
I told Scott I was gonna be
148
00:04:19,168 --> 00:04:20,501
out all night having my period.
149
00:04:20,503 --> 00:04:22,419
He asked me no questions.
150
00:04:22,421 --> 00:04:23,720
(whines)
151
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,089
I just, you know...
152
00:04:25,091 --> 00:04:26,423
coming from New York,
153
00:04:26,425 --> 00:04:28,382
a quiet night is a luxury.
154
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:30,488
- Can we take a rain check?
- All right.
155
00:04:31,218 --> 00:04:32,813
I like alone time.
156
00:04:32,861 --> 00:04:33,976
No...
157
00:04:34,968 --> 00:04:36,767
I love alone time.
158
00:04:36,769 --> 00:04:39,353
159
00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:50,906
And it was then the Fuhrer decided upon
160
00:04:51,197 --> 00:04:52,997
the Final Solution.
161
00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:56,153
What are you doing?
162
00:04:56,155 --> 00:04:58,422
163
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,445
(exhales)
164
00:05:23,429 --> 00:05:27,017
MAN (over P.A.): Uh, Danny, could I
get a price check on, uh, pork rinds?
165
00:05:27,471 --> 00:05:28,921
Price check on pork rinds.
166
00:05:31,357 --> 00:05:33,542
(fairy tale music playing)
167
00:05:35,026 --> 00:05:39,179
REBECCA:
Josh-osh-osh-osh.
168
00:05:55,837 --> 00:05:57,179
Can I help you, ma'am?
169
00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,882
No, I'm fine.
170
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:01,852
I'm just watching my ex-boyfriend
171
00:06:01,854 --> 00:06:03,770
make out with the hottest
girl I've ever seen.
172
00:06:04,187 --> 00:06:05,989
Ah, she's okay.
173
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,664
No...
174
00:06:07,937 --> 00:06:09,243
You know what?
175
00:06:09,506 --> 00:06:10,640
She's smoking.
176
00:06:11,148 --> 00:06:12,329
Oh, yeah, I see it now.
177
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,679
She's got one of them secret booties.
178
00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,234
Oh, does he know you still dig him?
179
00:06:17,236 --> 00:06:18,609
He's just a friend!
180
00:06:19,436 --> 00:06:20,960
Sorry. It's a long story.
181
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:29,346
Oh! Whoa, whoa!
182
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,380
Whoa. Sor...
183
00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:32,802
(sighs)
184
00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:34,384
Hey.
185
00:06:35,265 --> 00:06:36,203
Wow.
186
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,923
Um... so I-I texted you after the party,
187
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:41,091
but I didn't hear back.
188
00:06:41,093 --> 00:06:42,359
Yeah, I'm sorry.
189
00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,027
I've been really busy with
work. Seriously, though,
190
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,398
now that I have you here,
191
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,980
could we maybe have a postmortem
192
00:06:46,982 --> 00:06:48,315
on the whole makeout-crying session?
193
00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:50,367
I really don't think it's the time
194
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,102
or the place. I...
195
00:06:52,492 --> 00:06:53,237
Wow.
196
00:06:53,239 --> 00:06:54,321
Dude, they got Twizzlers.
197
00:06:54,323 --> 00:06:55,812
- Throwback!
- That's great.
198
00:06:56,539 --> 00:06:58,441
Um, Rebecca,
199
00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:00,494
let me introduce you to
these two fine gentlemen.
200
00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:03,413
This is Hector, 203rd
best surfer in the state.
201
00:07:03,929 --> 00:07:05,209
- 202nd.
- GREG: Great.
202
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:06,250
And this is White Josh,
203
00:07:06,252 --> 00:07:07,334
so named because he looks just like Josh,
204
00:07:07,336 --> 00:07:08,451
except for he's white.
205
00:07:08,453 --> 00:07:10,837
Also, my... my name is also Josh.
206
00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:12,139
Mmm.
207
00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:14,057
Well, we've all met.
208
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,760
Um, hopefully the next time, I'll be...
209
00:07:16,762 --> 00:07:17,811
Better looking?
210
00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:19,563
- Thanks.
- He doesn't mean that.
211
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:21,014
Uh... it's fine.
212
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:23,066
Um, I will text you at some point,
213
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,968
I just... I-I really... I have to...
214
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:26,987
- Okay.
- Yeah. I have to go.
215
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,822
Bras are in aisle one.
216
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,524
(guys chuckling)
217
00:07:30,526 --> 00:07:31,858
That's really nice.
218
00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:33,143
It's, like, only $5.26.
219
00:07:33,145 --> 00:07:35,028
That's not that bad.
220
00:07:35,265 --> 00:07:36,997
Um, I think the ice cream is down here.
221
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,148
What are you talking about, Joshy?
222
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,199
It's right in front of you.
223
00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:41,335
Are you okay?
224
00:07:41,843 --> 00:07:44,421
Wait, why is Greg talking to a homeless?
225
00:07:45,843 --> 00:07:48,240
Oh, hi, Rebecca.
226
00:07:48,265 --> 00:07:49,793
Hey.
227
00:07:50,398 --> 00:07:51,685
You know each other?
228
00:07:52,484 --> 00:07:54,715
Yeah, uh, this is my friend Rebecca.
229
00:07:54,717 --> 00:07:55,849
We, um,
230
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,302
met at summer camp,
like, a million, billion,
231
00:07:58,304 --> 00:08:00,771
trillion, like, a zillion years ago.
232
00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,105
Summer camp?
233
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,340
You guys met in summer camp?
234
00:08:03,342 --> 00:08:05,692
Yeah, we were like...
like, eight years old.
235
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,561
Right, Rebecca?
236
00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:08,734
No, we were...
237
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:11,514
We were eight and a half.
238
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:13,066
That was very important to me
239
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,901
when I was eight. I'm eight and a half!
240
00:08:14,903 --> 00:08:15,929
You know. Kids.
241
00:08:16,859 --> 00:08:18,405
Uh, this is Valencia.
242
00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:19,740
My girlfriend.
243
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:21,241
Hi.
244
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:23,043
Nice to meet you. Oh. Hi.
245
00:08:27,531 --> 00:08:28,698
My lady.
246
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:30,417
GREG: I'm confused.
247
00:08:30,419 --> 00:08:31,835
You don't know each other from New York?
248
00:08:31,837 --> 00:08:32,869
- No.
- Nope.
249
00:08:33,523 --> 00:08:34,671
Wait.
250
00:08:34,673 --> 00:08:36,089
How do you guys know each other?
251
00:08:36,091 --> 00:08:37,507
(laughs) Oh, we, um,
252
00:08:37,509 --> 00:08:39,592
met at Home Base, um,
253
00:08:39,617 --> 00:08:42,162
and then we just became, like, cazh buds,
254
00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:44,834
and, yeah, that's-that's
just, that's what happened.
255
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,804
Valencia, that's such a beautiful name.
256
00:08:46,829 --> 00:08:48,023
What's the origin of that?
257
00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,459
Well, it used to be Maria,
258
00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:51,110
but I never felt like a Maria
259
00:08:51,112 --> 00:08:54,380
so I changed it to my mother's
maiden name: �Valencia�"
260
00:08:54,382 --> 00:08:56,382
It's the Spanish word for �brave�"
261
00:08:56,384 --> 00:08:57,550
That's really cool.
262
00:08:57,552 --> 00:08:58,784
Actually, I thought
about doing the same thing
263
00:08:58,786 --> 00:08:59,752
with my mother's maiden name.
264
00:08:59,754 --> 00:09:01,170
Um, it's �Garfinkel,�
265
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:03,289
which is the Yiddish word
for �diamond dealer.�
266
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,624
Um...
267
00:09:04,626 --> 00:09:06,426
God, I love that dress.
268
00:09:06,428 --> 00:09:07,560
Can I just say, like,
269
00:09:07,562 --> 00:09:09,178
I cannot wear dresses like that,
270
00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:12,432
and you pull it off so, so well.
271
00:09:12,434 --> 00:09:15,468
I mean, you are... you're just so pretty.
272
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,335
I mean, you have a great body.
273
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,143
Well, I teach yoga. Keeps me fit.
274
00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:19,467
Oh, my God, I love yoga!
275
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,158
That's so funny that
we're meeting right now,
276
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:22,266
'cause I love yoga.
277
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:23,526
You do?
278
00:09:23,528 --> 00:09:24,611
Yeah, I-I love it.
279
00:09:24,613 --> 00:09:25,662
Well, maybe you should come
280
00:09:25,664 --> 00:09:26,663
to one of my classes.
281
00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:27,830
I would love that!
282
00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,699
- I would love to have you!
- I would love to be had!
283
00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,167
(whispering): Why are their voices so high?
284
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:32,335
REBECCA: Cool.
285
00:09:32,337 --> 00:09:34,504
Well, God, this has
just been the best night.
286
00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:35,838
It was so great meeting you.
287
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,959
I'm just going to gracefully exeunt,
288
00:09:39,961 --> 00:09:41,664
pursued by a bear.
289
00:09:43,609 --> 00:09:44,931
Uh, hey, I'll be right back.
290
00:09:44,933 --> 00:09:46,382
Can you get me two more pints?
291
00:09:46,384 --> 00:09:48,000
Oh, my God, she's so pretty,
oh, my God, she's so pretty,
292
00:09:48,002 --> 00:09:50,503
oh, my God, she's so pretty,
oh, my God, she's so pretty.
293
00:09:50,505 --> 00:09:51,771
Hi.
294
00:09:51,773 --> 00:09:52,972
Hey.
295
00:09:52,974 --> 00:09:54,307
What was up with that
�eight years old� thing?
296
00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:55,841
We were 16 when we were at camp.
297
00:09:55,843 --> 00:09:57,026
No biggie. Just, uh...
298
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:58,811
the thing with us at
camp, no one knows that,
299
00:09:58,813 --> 00:10:00,179
especially Valencia,
300
00:10:00,181 --> 00:10:01,514
so let's just keep it on the DL.
301
00:10:01,516 --> 00:10:03,683
- Is this because I look like a homeless?
- No, just,
302
00:10:03,685 --> 00:10:05,851
Valencia, she sometimes
sweats these things.
303
00:10:05,853 --> 00:10:06,869
You get it.
304
00:10:06,871 --> 00:10:08,445
Wait...
305
00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:10,587
Is that the reason you haven't
gotten back to me about dinner?
306
00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:12,909
Come on, dude.
307
00:10:12,911 --> 00:10:13,993
I'm no threat!
308
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:14,994
Look at her!
309
00:10:14,996 --> 00:10:15,995
Look at me!
310
00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:18,030
Her! Me!
311
00:10:18,032 --> 00:10:19,365
Yoga! Homeless!
312
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:21,584
And I... I have no problem with her.
313
00:10:21,586 --> 00:10:22,868
I think she's terrific.
314
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:24,387
I mean, did you see how we...
315
00:10:24,389 --> 00:10:25,638
we instantly bonded? Actually, I...
316
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,006
I would like to be friends with her.
317
00:10:27,008 --> 00:10:28,007
What? No.
318
00:10:28,009 --> 00:10:29,175
That's not a good idea.
319
00:10:29,177 --> 00:10:31,515
I don't think you guys should be friends
or anything like that.
320
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:32,898
Okay, okay. No, you're right, you're right.
321
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:33,922
I am.
322
00:10:34,015 --> 00:10:35,231
Just chill, okay?
323
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,150
Okay.
324
00:10:37,152 --> 00:10:38,484
Anyway,
325
00:10:38,486 --> 00:10:40,486
- I got to roll. Catch you later.
- Oh, okay.
326
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:42,405
I'll catch you...
327
00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:44,357
Hey, Val? I got your chin.
328
00:10:45,452 --> 00:10:46,711
I got your chin.
329
00:10:46,736 --> 00:10:48,452
What are you doing?
330
00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:55,625
_
331
00:10:58,521 --> 00:11:00,656
_
332
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:06,045
(computer chimes)
333
00:11:06,069 --> 00:11:08,317
_
334
00:11:08,342 --> 00:11:10,543
(chuckles)
335
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:22,748
Josh's girlfriend is so nice.
336
00:11:22,773 --> 00:11:24,495
Like, so nice.
337
00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:26,047
Like, stop being this nice.
338
00:11:26,049 --> 00:11:27,742
You are so pretty.
339
00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:29,787
So, I got provisions for us
340
00:11:29,812 --> 00:11:31,446
for while we work on this arbitration,
341
00:11:31,471 --> 00:11:33,007
because it is going to be...
342
00:11:33,032 --> 00:11:35,282
(laughs): a long day.
343
00:11:35,942 --> 00:11:37,141
First...
344
00:11:37,554 --> 00:11:39,443
Mama got you the strawberry donuts
345
00:11:39,445 --> 00:11:41,395
that you like from the
place around the corner.
346
00:11:41,397 --> 00:11:43,882
(squeals) And...
347
00:11:44,234 --> 00:11:46,200
look at what I found at the car wash.
348
00:11:46,202 --> 00:11:47,568
Sh-bam!
349
00:11:47,812 --> 00:11:49,742
It's a Statue of Liberty key chain.
350
00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:51,956
'Cause you're from New York.
351
00:11:52,523 --> 00:11:53,574
Do you get it?
352
00:11:54,093 --> 00:11:55,248
Do you, do you like it?
353
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:56,360
Yeah, no... (stammers)
354
00:11:56,362 --> 00:11:58,045
I'm sorry, I love it, yeah!
355
00:11:58,047 --> 00:11:59,547
Oh, that's so sweet.
356
00:11:59,549 --> 00:12:01,082
I don't have anything for you.
357
00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:02,466
Put it on your keys!
358
00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:04,001
Okay, yeah.
359
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:05,252
No, I mean, like, right now!
360
00:12:05,531 --> 00:12:07,004
'Cause I want to, I
want to watch it happen!
361
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,609
Oh, okay.
362
00:12:10,592 --> 00:12:11,842
Ah, I'm sorry.
363
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,594
I'm sorry, I always wanted a daughter.
364
00:12:13,596 --> 00:12:16,631
I didn't, my-my kids are not daughters.
365
00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:18,038
They're terrible.
366
00:12:18,063 --> 00:12:19,712
I'll-I'll tell you about it later.
367
00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:20,539
Or now.
368
00:12:20,564 --> 00:12:21,875
So, Valencia's interests
369
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,232
include tempeh patties,
370
00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:24,906
and Vampire Weekend.
371
00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:28,007
I just feel like we have so much in common.
372
00:12:28,189 --> 00:12:29,889
What's Vampire Weekend?
373
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,132
Um, it's a weekend away with vampires.
374
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,419
(chuckles) I'm pretty sure it's not that.
375
00:12:34,444 --> 00:12:35,927
No, I-I read about it in The New Yorker.
376
00:12:36,064 --> 00:12:37,163
It's very popular.
377
00:12:37,165 --> 00:12:38,865
Let me see her picture.
Let me see her face.
378
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,199
Here, take a look, see?
379
00:12:40,201 --> 00:12:42,335
PAULA:
Whoa-ho-ho!
380
00:12:42,337 --> 00:12:44,954
She is smoking!
381
00:12:44,956 --> 00:12:46,673
So pretty, right?
382
00:12:46,675 --> 00:12:48,507
And Josh says I can't be friends with her,
383
00:12:48,532 --> 00:12:49,718
but I really like her.
384
00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:51,910
(laughs) Come on.
385
00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:55,348
You loathe her.
386
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,210
Um, no, I don't.
387
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,451
Oh, okay!
388
00:12:58,770 --> 00:13:00,353
Let me tell you how this works.
389
00:13:00,355 --> 00:13:03,473
Women of equal sexual
viability hate each other.
390
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:07,259
Even if they pretend to like each other.
391
00:13:07,261 --> 00:13:08,811
And that is how it has worked
392
00:13:08,813 --> 00:13:11,243
since the day vagina�s were invented.
393
00:13:11,483 --> 00:13:12,448
See, okay, look.
394
00:13:13,156 --> 00:13:14,484
You're like these two, all right?
395
00:13:14,509 --> 00:13:16,408
You're Taylor Swift and she's Katy Perry.
396
00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,233
Oh, wait a minute...
Maybe you're Katy Perry.
397
00:13:18,258 --> 00:13:20,225
No! No, you're Taylor Swift.
398
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,328
You're uptight and weird, right?
399
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,560
Okay, this is why I don't
read this drivel, right?
400
00:13:23,828 --> 00:13:25,945
Because it perpetuates
the very misogynist myth
401
00:13:25,947 --> 00:13:28,081
that women can't get along, right?
402
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,799
Look at this cover!
403
00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:31,584
�Femme feud, girl fight.
404
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:32,785
Who wore it better?�
405
00:13:32,787 --> 00:13:34,179
It's like, �Who wore it equally?�
406
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:35,117
God, you're boring.
407
00:13:35,142 --> 00:13:36,391
Look, I get what you're doing
408
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,583
with this girl and I totally approve!
409
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:41,574
You befriend the enemy and you
get more face time with Josh.
410
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,312
If you really neutralize her,
411
00:13:43,314 --> 00:13:45,264
maybe she'll give you some
solo time with him, so...
412
00:13:45,266 --> 00:13:46,432
No, no, mm-mm, no.
413
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,567
That's not what I'm doing.
414
00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:48,684
That's not what I'm doing at all.
415
00:13:48,686 --> 00:13:50,695
I know, that is not what you're doing
416
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,720
at all... wink.
417
00:13:52,824 --> 00:13:55,274
No, I... (chuckles) I
really want to be her friend.
418
00:13:55,276 --> 00:13:56,776
Like, genuinely want to be her friend.
419
00:13:56,778 --> 00:13:58,485
- Wink.
- Stop winking!
420
00:13:58,509 --> 00:13:59,429
(giggles)
421
00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:03,350
Ooh. Oh, she's teaching a
yoga class today at 3:00.
422
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:04,584
Oh, that's, like, now!
423
00:14:04,586 --> 00:14:05,618
Change of plans.
424
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:06,368
Eat the donut for me.
425
00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:08,598
I'm gonna go. While I'm gone,
426
00:14:08,623 --> 00:14:10,877
pull up the Mendez file,
and see what previous motions
427
00:14:10,902 --> 00:14:12,843
the plaintiff has put
before the judge, okay?
428
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:14,001
Yeah... I love this!
429
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,890
Gonna use it on my car right now.
430
00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:16,914
Okay...
431
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:18,507
Go get her!
432
00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:23,000
I'll be right here.
433
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:31,289
And just breathe.
434
00:14:32,476 --> 00:14:33,929
Good.
435
00:14:33,954 --> 00:14:36,488
Everyone, thank you for joining me today
436
00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:39,062
in a journey of
self-discovery and reflection.
437
00:14:40,289 --> 00:14:42,321
Oh, you came.
438
00:14:42,323 --> 00:14:43,273
How nice.
439
00:14:43,298 --> 00:14:45,158
Everyone, we have some new faces today.
440
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,726
Welcome. Namaste.
441
00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:47,957
Namaste.
442
00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:49,906
Can I get an �ohm�?
443
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:50,930
(laughs)
444
00:14:51,539 --> 00:14:52,732
Okay.
445
00:14:52,734 --> 00:14:55,201
So, let's start in a gentle stretch.
446
00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:57,136
Breathe in. (deep inhale)
447
00:14:57,138 --> 00:14:58,546
And out. (exhales)
448
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,749
Good, now let's move into
our first Vinyasa flow.
449
00:15:03,242 --> 00:15:04,875
And breathe in.
450
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,265
And exhale on an ah...
451
00:15:08,988 --> 00:15:10,654
Ah!
452
00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:12,378
ALL: Ah...
453
00:15:12,553 --> 00:15:15,905
(mystical music playing)
454
00:15:15,907 --> 00:15:19,192
We are in a yoga class
455
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:23,953
Now is the time to
let your mind go blank
456
00:15:23,978 --> 00:15:26,912
And focus instead on how awesome
457
00:15:26,937 --> 00:15:31,056
The yoga teacher is
458
00:15:37,653 --> 00:15:40,939
Look at me, look at me
459
00:15:40,964 --> 00:15:43,181
I'm so good at yoga
460
00:15:43,301 --> 00:15:45,051
Look at me, look at me
461
00:15:45,053 --> 00:15:48,137
I'm so good at yoga
462
00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:50,256
Exhale on another sigh
463
00:15:50,258 --> 00:15:52,942
Rebecca sucks
464
00:15:54,928 --> 00:15:56,529
I do stuff with my body
465
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:59,148
That no human should be able to do
466
00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:01,367
Like putting my
face behind my knees
467
00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:03,736
Turning my hand into a shoe
468
00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:05,705
As the morning sun kisses a lotus
469
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:08,274
I kiss my own hoo-ha...
Can you do that?
470
00:16:08,276 --> 00:16:10,459
Great each day �Namaste�
471
00:16:10,484 --> 00:16:12,138
Screw... you
472
00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:14,297
You're fat
473
00:16:14,299 --> 00:16:16,165
Look at me, look at me
474
00:16:16,167 --> 00:16:18,834
I'm so good at yoga
475
00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:20,636
Look at me, look at me
476
00:16:20,638 --> 00:16:23,222
I'm so good at yoga
477
00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:25,925
Look at her, look at her
478
00:16:28,011 --> 00:16:30,062
Look at her, look at her
479
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:32,431
I'm so much better than you
480
00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:36,485
If you want to just stay in child's pose,
481
00:16:36,487 --> 00:16:37,445
it's totally fine.
482
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:38,915
Nope, I'm an adult!
483
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:40,856
I'm not afraid to get tattoos
484
00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:44,076
-
And they are all in Sanskrit
-
Panther
485
00:16:44,078 --> 00:16:46,195
Butt stuff doesn't hurt at all
486
00:16:46,197 --> 00:16:48,247
Most times I prefer it
487
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:49,665
That's what this tattoo says
488
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,701
Look at her, look at her
489
00:16:51,703 --> 00:16:55,371
-
I'm so good at yoga
-
Look at her, look at her
490
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:58,541
I orgasm instantly
491
00:16:58,543 --> 00:17:00,760
Look at her, look at her
492
00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:03,022
I'm not afraid of clowns and trains
493
00:17:03,047 --> 00:17:05,348
- Come on!
-
Look at her, look at her
494
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:08,017
My father didn't leave me
495
00:17:08,019 --> 00:17:10,102
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah,
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah
496
00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:12,521
-
N-N-N-N-N-Nyah
-
Boom!
497
00:17:12,523 --> 00:17:14,673
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah,
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah
498
00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:18,027
I'm so good at yoga
499
00:17:18,029 --> 00:17:20,813
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah,
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah
500
00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:22,331
-
N-N-N-N-N-Nyah
-
Boom!
501
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:26,580
REBECCA: Wow!
502
00:17:26,605 --> 00:17:29,222
Um, that was, like, amazing.
503
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:31,540
Yeah, you are really sweating.
504
00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:33,576
I think you really cleared out some toxins.
505
00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:36,746
I can see those heavy metals
just pouring out of you.
506
00:17:36,748 --> 00:17:37,840
Heavy metals, yeah.
507
00:17:38,096 --> 00:17:39,832
Well, I do eat a lot of auto parts.
508
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:40,697
Huh?
509
00:17:40,722 --> 00:17:41,791
Nothing, it's stupid.
510
00:17:41,816 --> 00:17:42,877
I'm stupid.
511
00:17:42,902 --> 00:17:45,182
Hey, do you want to go
grab, like, a coffee with me
512
00:17:45,306 --> 00:17:46,672
or something?
513
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,374
I only drink water.
514
00:17:48,376 --> 00:17:49,809
And I got to go do some cardio.
515
00:17:49,811 --> 00:17:52,044
It's hard to break a sweat
doing beginner's yoga.
516
00:17:52,046 --> 00:17:54,252
Of... yeah, yeah, yeah.
517
00:17:54,277 --> 00:17:55,721
So, maybe another time.
518
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:57,021
Well, no worries.
519
00:17:57,046 --> 00:17:58,245
'Cause I'm just gonna keep coming back.
520
00:17:58,270 --> 00:17:59,769
Um, I bought a 20-pack on my way in,
521
00:17:59,794 --> 00:18:00,963
so I'm kind of your sugar mama
522
00:18:00,988 --> 00:18:02,137
if you know what I'm saying.
523
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:03,713
(laughs) Yeah, I wish.
524
00:18:03,738 --> 00:18:05,416
I only get to keep 50% of each class.
525
00:18:05,441 --> 00:18:07,775
But until I own my own
studio, I can't complain.
526
00:18:07,996 --> 00:18:09,945
Well, your own studio. I mean, that's,
527
00:18:09,947 --> 00:18:11,447
that's a great idea. Have
you looked into stuff yet?
528
00:18:11,449 --> 00:18:13,082
Because I-I'm actually, I'm a lawyer
529
00:18:13,084 --> 00:18:14,750
and real estate is my specialty.
530
00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:16,369
And I could help you find a cheap place,
531
00:18:16,371 --> 00:18:17,753
get a good deal on a lease.
532
00:18:17,755 --> 00:18:18,924
Why would you want to do that?
533
00:18:19,908 --> 00:18:22,458
Well, that's why I moved here...
To support a local community.
534
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:25,361
And building small businesses
is an essential part of that.
535
00:18:25,421 --> 00:18:28,106
Wow, did you, like, go
to Harvard or something?
536
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:31,217
Um, yeah, but I don't
like to talk about it,
537
00:18:31,219 --> 00:18:32,685
'cause people get weird.
538
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:34,053
Your shirt says Harvard.
539
00:18:34,744 --> 00:18:36,555
That way I don't have to talk about it.
540
00:18:36,557 --> 00:18:39,174
Hmm, wow. That's... impressive.
541
00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:41,060
Hey! Oh, mmm!
542
00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:42,445
This just popped into my nogs.
543
00:18:42,447 --> 00:18:44,146
Why don't we get lunch sometime this week,
544
00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:47,199
and I'll just, I'll go over
all the deets about leases
545
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:49,285
and how it works.
546
00:18:49,287 --> 00:18:51,072
And I can buy you a really nice water.
547
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:52,900
Okay.
548
00:18:53,408 --> 00:18:54,518
I like boxed water.
549
00:18:55,641 --> 00:18:57,088
Great.
550
00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,080
PAULA: So...
551
00:19:01,369 --> 00:19:04,133
have a nice lunch with Valerio.
552
00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:05,634
Who knows, maybe next time,
553
00:19:05,636 --> 00:19:07,619
you'll actually have lunch with Josh.
554
00:19:07,621 --> 00:19:09,638
Uh, okay, again, this
is not because of Josh.
555
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,891
(phone chimes)
556
00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,142
Who's that?
557
00:19:13,698 --> 00:19:14,924
Josh!
558
00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:24,924
JOSH: Hey!
559
00:19:24,949 --> 00:19:26,041
Hi!
560
00:19:26,066 --> 00:19:27,033
Sorry.
561
00:19:27,058 --> 00:19:28,791
Hi, um, so you wanted to see me?
562
00:19:28,816 --> 00:19:30,949
Oh, before we go talk,
do you want some boba?
563
00:19:30,974 --> 00:19:32,174
It actually horrifies me personally.
564
00:19:32,199 --> 00:19:33,510
It's like drinking little tumors.
565
00:19:33,535 --> 00:19:35,354
But if you want some,
like, knock yourself out.
566
00:19:35,377 --> 00:19:36,577
No, I'm good, I'm good.
567
00:19:36,579 --> 00:19:38,245
So, listen, uh, I've
been scratching my head
568
00:19:38,247 --> 00:19:40,869
a little bit here, 'cause I heard
569
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:44,218
you were having lunch with Valencia?
570
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,920
And I thought you were
gonna keep a little distance?
571
00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:49,360
Yeah, um, the friendship thing.
572
00:19:49,385 --> 00:19:51,062
I know that we talked about that.
573
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:54,265
But it just kind of,
it happened organically.
574
00:19:54,267 --> 00:19:54,947
You know?
575
00:19:54,972 --> 00:19:56,088
I won't say a word about camp.
576
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,496
Oh, my God, like,
577
00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:59,637
I don't even factor that whole
thing into our friendship.
578
00:19:59,662 --> 00:20:02,096
I honestly, I barely remember it.
579
00:20:02,121 --> 00:20:04,438
I mean, I've had many
sexual partners since.
580
00:20:04,463 --> 00:20:05,646
Clean as a whistle, though.
581
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,003
I don't know.
582
00:20:07,028 --> 00:20:08,594
Uh, uh, she can get mad.
583
00:20:08,731 --> 00:20:09,877
She can, you know,
584
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,182
get really mad.
585
00:20:12,207 --> 00:20:13,932
But what's there to be mad about?
586
00:20:13,957 --> 00:20:16,074
Because if we're just
gonna be buds, that's all.
587
00:20:16,239 --> 00:20:18,423
And the great thing is, if we're friends,
588
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:21,092
then we can all hang out
and it won't be awkward.
589
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,025
Right? We could have lunches
590
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,916
and dinners and go to Spiders.
591
00:20:25,248 --> 00:20:27,432
Find out if it's possessive or plural.
592
00:20:27,512 --> 00:20:28,432
(laughs) Right?
593
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,788
Thank you for letting me
order off the children's menu.
594
00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:35,518
You're so nice.
595
00:20:36,791 --> 00:20:38,533
This looks so good.
596
00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:39,925
So I really think we're gonna
597
00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:41,165
get the property on East Cameron.
598
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,499
You think so?
599
00:20:42,571 --> 00:20:44,054
It would be so perfect.
600
00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:45,929
The square footage is exactly what I need.
601
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,487
But it was so expensive.
602
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:49,362
And you low-balled the guy.
603
00:20:49,387 --> 00:20:51,220
No, no. By the end of lunch,
604
00:20:51,245 --> 00:20:52,479
that guy's gonna call and cave.
605
00:20:52,504 --> 00:20:53,432
So, um,
606
00:20:53,457 --> 00:20:55,373
go back to what you were
saying about your diet,
607
00:20:55,398 --> 00:20:57,486
- 'cause it was, it was fascinating.
- Oh, yeah.
608
00:20:57,511 --> 00:21:00,595
So, I sent my wellness
coach a drop of my blood,
609
00:21:00,620 --> 00:21:03,037
and she told me which foods
go best with my blood type.
610
00:21:03,098 --> 00:21:05,015
So it's lots and lots of greens
611
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,361
and lean proteins and no legumes.
612
00:21:07,553 --> 00:21:09,554
REBECCA: No legumes, no starches.
613
00:21:09,579 --> 00:21:11,246
God, she's so skinny.
614
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,304
No wonder Josh loves her.
615
00:21:13,463 --> 00:21:15,146
You know, I-I sent a drop of blood
616
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,283
to a wellness coach one time,
617
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,533
and they said that my blood type
works best with Panda Express.
618
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:21,944
- Really?
- No. No, it doesn't.
619
00:21:21,969 --> 00:21:23,102
Oh, you were making a joke.
620
00:21:23,127 --> 00:21:24,543
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh.
621
00:21:24,568 --> 00:21:26,111
Yeah, I think you did that once before.
622
00:21:26,136 --> 00:21:27,936
Sorry, I don't like humor.
623
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:29,410
Okay.
624
00:21:29,736 --> 00:21:31,746
Um, I've been meaning to ask you.
625
00:21:32,002 --> 00:21:33,698
What kind of face moisturizer do you use?
626
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:35,932
'Cause my face has been
dry for, like, 20 years.
627
00:21:35,957 --> 00:21:37,705
Unrefined coconut oil.
628
00:21:37,837 --> 00:21:39,197
- Really?
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
629
00:21:39,222 --> 00:21:41,522
So, anyway, something else
my wellness coach said was...
630
00:21:41,547 --> 00:21:43,697
Actually don't do the oil
pulling for 20 minutes...
631
00:21:44,299 --> 00:21:45,893
REBECCA: Coconut oil.
632
00:21:46,293 --> 00:21:48,744
Long necklace nestled in cleavage.
633
00:21:49,382 --> 00:21:51,883
Silky romper... how do
you pee in that thing?
634
00:21:51,885 --> 00:21:53,518
(cell phone chimes) Hold on.
635
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,111
Hold that very important thought.
636
00:21:58,307 --> 00:21:59,736
We got your yoga studio.
637
00:21:59,761 --> 00:22:00,869
We did? Yeah.
638
00:22:00,894 --> 00:22:02,643
Oh, my God, you're amazing.
639
00:22:02,668 --> 00:22:03,751
Oh. Oh, my God.
640
00:22:03,776 --> 00:22:05,726
Hey, you're amazing.
641
00:22:06,149 --> 00:22:08,080
- You smell like roasted corn.
- Huh?
642
00:22:08,105 --> 00:22:10,155
I said you smell like roasted corn.
643
00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:11,579
Oh, thanks.
644
00:22:11,674 --> 00:22:13,224
God, I can't believe you did it.
645
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,582
Well, I went to Harvard.
646
00:22:14,718 --> 00:22:16,064
I don't mess around.
647
00:22:16,089 --> 00:22:18,723
Do all people who go to Harvard
say it as much as you do?
648
00:22:18,748 --> 00:22:19,689
Yeah.
649
00:22:27,861 --> 00:22:29,971
You've checked your phone, like, 80 times.
650
00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,222
Why are you so worried
651
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:32,674
about Valencia having lunch with Rebecca?
652
00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:35,666
Don't know, it just... feels weird.
653
00:22:35,691 --> 00:22:37,891
Why? Did you and Rebecca
hook up or something?
654
00:22:38,199 --> 00:22:40,866
(scoffing): Um, no, bro,
I was eight years old.
655
00:22:41,048 --> 00:22:42,681
Even I am not that big of a stud.
656
00:22:42,706 --> 00:22:44,666
Hmm. Wait, why?
657
00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:48,773
Are you into Rebecca?
658
00:22:48,775 --> 00:22:49,354
Well...
659
00:22:49,379 --> 00:22:50,328
Is that why you're asking me?
660
00:22:50,472 --> 00:22:53,356
Uh, I'm not... not interested.
661
00:22:53,421 --> 00:22:54,420
Whoa.
662
00:22:54,445 --> 00:22:56,611
Wow, Serrano, coming from you,
663
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:58,886
that is like... a declaration of love.
664
00:22:58,911 --> 00:22:59,910
(scoffs)
665
00:22:59,935 --> 00:23:01,584
Dude, if you want her, go for it.
666
00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:04,025
Maybe I will. (grunts)
667
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:07,084
Maybe I will throw my saddle
668
00:23:07,265 --> 00:23:08,848
- on that filly.
- Yeah.
669
00:23:08,873 --> 00:23:10,956
Take her for a ride around the paddock.
670
00:23:10,981 --> 00:23:12,097
Yeah.
671
00:23:12,122 --> 00:23:13,088
Oh, yeah, you're gonna ride that filly.
672
00:23:13,113 --> 00:23:14,666
- (neighs)
- (neighs)
673
00:23:14,691 --> 00:23:15,830
(grunts)
674
00:23:17,627 --> 00:23:19,053
Men are disgusting.
675
00:23:19,486 --> 00:23:20,752
Yeah.
676
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,827
Hey, don't worry about
Valencia and Rebecca.
677
00:23:23,852 --> 00:23:25,552
They are not gonna become friends.
678
00:23:25,955 --> 00:23:28,213
You know how Valencia is with other women.
679
00:23:28,238 --> 00:23:29,887
Come on, she's not a bonder.
680
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:30,971
She can't bond.
681
00:23:30,996 --> 00:23:32,496
(both laughing)
682
00:23:32,846 --> 00:23:35,096
I love you.
683
00:23:35,121 --> 00:23:37,204
No, I love you.
684
00:23:37,206 --> 00:23:38,873
(laughs)
685
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:41,042
(chuckles)
686
00:23:45,477 --> 00:23:47,025
Hey, what's-what's wrong?
687
00:23:49,502 --> 00:23:51,169
Uh, it's just, you
wouldn't get this about me
688
00:23:51,194 --> 00:23:52,994
because of my wide student fan base,
689
00:23:53,026 --> 00:23:56,110
but I actually don't
have a lot of girlfriends.
690
00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:57,072
Huh.
691
00:23:57,097 --> 00:23:59,111
The last time I had a solid
crew was in high school,
692
00:23:59,136 --> 00:24:01,057
but then they all got jealous
693
00:24:01,082 --> 00:24:02,581
because I got these amazing boobs
694
00:24:02,606 --> 00:24:03,856
and they were still trolls,
695
00:24:03,881 --> 00:24:06,197
and so they spread all
these rumors that I, like,
696
00:24:06,255 --> 00:24:07,421
slept with the English teacher.
697
00:24:07,516 --> 00:24:08,616
No. I know.
698
00:24:08,641 --> 00:24:09,791
Which is a total lie,
699
00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:11,299
because we only did hand stuff.
700
00:24:11,474 --> 00:24:12,806
And then everyone turned on me,
701
00:24:12,808 --> 00:24:14,283
and since then, I just...
702
00:24:15,091 --> 00:24:17,208
I don't get along that
well with other girls.
703
00:24:17,233 --> 00:24:18,849
Oh, my God, I'm the exact same way.
704
00:24:19,307 --> 00:24:20,775
Yeah? I mean, except for
the English teacher part.
705
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,518
- That's-that's really cool.
- Thanks.
706
00:24:22,992 --> 00:24:25,025
Although, um, it-it's really cool,
707
00:24:25,050 --> 00:24:27,050
but, like, you know, you
should have reported that.
708
00:24:27,075 --> 00:24:28,875
Did you report it to the
appropriate authorities?
709
00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:31,474
Nah, it's just hand
stuff... It's not a big deal.
710
00:24:31,499 --> 00:24:34,834
Well, I mean, depending
on what age you were,
711
00:24:34,859 --> 00:24:37,309
it's technically a little
bit of statutory rape.
712
00:24:37,334 --> 00:24:38,683
Eh... But, you know.
713
00:24:38,736 --> 00:24:40,834
I'll allow it.
714
00:24:40,836 --> 00:24:42,520
But seriously, a judge
would not have allowed it.
715
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:43,521
He should be in jail.
716
00:24:43,523 --> 00:24:44,635
Do you know if he went to jail?
717
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:45,588
Did he do it to other kids?
718
00:24:45,613 --> 00:24:48,369
Oh, my God, you're amazing, you're so nice.
719
00:24:49,018 --> 00:24:51,445
I thought you just only wanted
to do real estate stuff with me,
720
00:24:52,268 --> 00:24:53,494
but we're friends.
721
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,229
We're friends, right?
722
00:24:55,254 --> 00:24:57,799
Yeah. Yeah, we're... we're fr...
723
00:24:58,096 --> 00:24:59,262
Yeah, we're friends...
724
00:24:59,405 --> 00:25:00,871
Yeah, we're friends.
725
00:25:00,873 --> 00:25:02,400
Yeah, 'cause, I mean, like,
726
00:25:02,425 --> 00:25:04,759
what other agenda could I possibly have?
727
00:25:05,140 --> 00:25:06,923
(both laugh)
728
00:25:06,948 --> 00:25:08,869
That is such a weird thing to say.
729
00:25:08,894 --> 00:25:09,893
(laughing): I know!
730
00:25:09,918 --> 00:25:11,250
Aah! Yeah.
731
00:25:11,275 --> 00:25:13,476
(both laugh, sigh)
732
00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:19,092
Mmm, your tushy's warm.
733
00:25:19,117 --> 00:25:20,667
Thanks.
734
00:25:23,494 --> 00:25:25,028
REBECCA (sighs happily): Yeah.
735
00:25:25,053 --> 00:25:27,721
Valencia and I are
basically the same person.
736
00:25:28,580 --> 00:25:30,627
Oh, she's like me, except for...
737
00:25:30,971 --> 00:25:32,876
I don't know what she is... Guatemalan?
738
00:25:32,901 --> 00:25:34,369
I don't know, don't quote me on that.
739
00:25:34,394 --> 00:25:37,428
Anyway, between us, it's
like we're Siamese souls.
740
00:25:37,639 --> 00:25:40,088
Excuse me, just one second.
741
00:25:40,534 --> 00:25:42,338
(imitates vomiting)
742
00:25:44,144 --> 00:25:47,146
Now, uh, in case you missed
it, that was me vomiting.
743
00:25:47,148 --> 00:25:48,666
No, I got it.
744
00:25:49,751 --> 00:25:50,983
What's wrong with you?
745
00:25:50,985 --> 00:25:53,620
'Cause, like, I've made
a really cool friend.
746
00:25:53,622 --> 00:25:55,538
She's, like, pretty and nice,
747
00:25:55,540 --> 00:25:57,540
and she knows about,
like, a lot of cool things,
748
00:25:57,542 --> 00:26:00,627
like coconut oil and
movies and Vampire Weekends.
749
00:26:00,629 --> 00:26:01,994
Like, what's your deal?
750
00:26:01,996 --> 00:26:05,548
We had a plan... uh, neutralize
the enemy, not snuggle it.
751
00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:06,850
No, we didn't have a plan.
752
00:26:06,852 --> 00:26:09,102
You had a plan, I'm making a friend.
753
00:26:09,104 --> 00:26:10,386
- What?!
- Wow.
754
00:26:10,388 --> 00:26:11,521
Are you jealous?
755
00:26:11,523 --> 00:26:14,190
(scoffs) I am not jealous.
756
00:26:14,192 --> 00:26:17,227
I'm not saying this for
me, I'm saying this for you,
757
00:26:17,229 --> 00:26:19,896
you munchkin dumb-ass.
758
00:26:19,898 --> 00:26:20,947
This is unhealthy.
759
00:26:20,949 --> 00:26:22,532
Okay, all right.
760
00:26:22,534 --> 00:26:24,567
You need to take some Motrin or something.
761
00:26:24,569 --> 00:26:26,903
Oh, you know, I have
never met anyone in my life
762
00:26:26,905 --> 00:26:28,538
who lies to themselves as much as you do.
763
00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:29,873
You lie about why you came here,
764
00:26:29,875 --> 00:26:31,241
You lie about how you feel about Josh.
765
00:26:31,243 --> 00:26:33,693
You lie about why you want to
become friends with Valencia.
766
00:26:33,695 --> 00:26:35,995
Okay, okay, that's enough! God!
767
00:26:35,997 --> 00:26:37,714
Let's just do this stupid meeting
768
00:26:37,716 --> 00:26:39,365
with these stupid clients.
769
00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:41,385
Hello, gentlemen.
770
00:26:42,966 --> 00:26:45,818
So we heard most of that.
771
00:26:45,891 --> 00:26:48,725
I'm realizing that now as
I see the horrified looks
772
00:26:48,727 --> 00:26:50,426
on your faces.
773
00:26:50,428 --> 00:26:51,728
I'm so sorry.
774
00:26:51,730 --> 00:26:53,479
Paula and I were just having a
little disagreement out there.
775
00:26:53,481 --> 00:26:54,380
It has nothing to do with you.
776
00:26:54,382 --> 00:26:56,099
It will not happen again.
777
00:26:56,101 --> 00:26:57,383
Let's get down to business,
778
00:26:57,385 --> 00:26:58,166
shall we?
779
00:26:58,191 --> 00:26:59,799
You know that was very
inappropriate what we overheard.
780
00:26:59,824 --> 00:27:01,111
(cell phone chimes)
I understand. One sec...
781
00:27:01,136 --> 00:27:02,518
_
782
00:27:02,543 --> 00:27:04,424
(whoops) Going to Spiders.
783
00:27:04,534 --> 00:27:06,752
Which seems to be possessive plural.
784
00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:08,912
- Oh.
- REBECCA: Oh, I'm sorry.
785
00:27:08,914 --> 00:27:10,446
Did I mention that I got Robertson
786
00:27:10,448 --> 00:27:12,072
to agree to an arbitration next week?
787
00:27:13,233 --> 00:27:14,233
I didn't mention that.
788
00:27:14,235 --> 00:27:15,705
Should have led with that. Sorry.
789
00:27:16,087 --> 00:27:17,403
How did you do that?
790
00:27:17,405 --> 00:27:19,255
Uh, we've been trying to do that for years.
791
00:27:19,257 --> 00:27:21,624
Actually, I threatened
a lawsuit on the grounds
792
00:27:21,626 --> 00:27:23,242
that they were impeding
commercial development,
793
00:27:23,244 --> 00:27:25,578
and that they would be liable
for interest or extra costs.
794
00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:27,680
(clicks tongue) (chuckles)
795
00:27:27,682 --> 00:27:30,717
So, news flash... next week,
you are going to a hearing
796
00:27:30,719 --> 00:27:32,385
that will allow you to... Most likely...
797
00:27:32,387 --> 00:27:35,521
Build the $10 million complex
downtown you have always wanted
798
00:27:35,523 --> 00:27:36,424
in your little heart of hearts,
799
00:27:36,449 --> 00:27:38,963
and I am going to a super cool nightclub.
800
00:27:39,811 --> 00:27:41,427
Oh, I got to go get ready.
801
00:27:41,429 --> 00:27:44,197
I should buy jewelry, I don't have jewelry.
802
00:27:44,199 --> 00:27:46,399
(dance music pulsates)
803
00:27:53,551 --> 00:27:55,835
804
00:28:13,727 --> 00:28:15,294
Uh, love your dress.
805
00:28:15,296 --> 00:28:17,931
Oh, um, you too, bitches.
806
00:28:17,933 --> 00:28:19,349
Do you want to take a selfie?
807
00:28:19,351 --> 00:28:20,516
Yeah.
808
00:28:21,902 --> 00:28:23,633
Okay, all right, one, two, three.
809
00:28:23,658 --> 00:28:26,183
_
810
00:28:26,208 --> 00:28:27,492
(phone rings)
811
00:28:30,995 --> 00:28:32,278
What?
812
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,664
MAN: Uh, Mom, I stabbed Tommy.
813
00:28:34,666 --> 00:28:35,949
Uh, kind of.
814
00:28:35,951 --> 00:28:38,368
Brendan, I told you I had to work late.
815
00:28:38,370 --> 00:28:40,286
But, uh, he's sort of bleeding.
816
00:28:40,288 --> 00:28:42,781
Okay, you know what, figure it out.
817
00:28:47,295 --> 00:28:49,546
818
00:28:51,469 --> 00:28:52,386
Yeah.
819
00:28:52,411 --> 00:28:53,777
- (whoops)
- (whoops)
820
00:28:53,802 --> 00:28:55,835
It's hugging my throat.
821
00:28:55,837 --> 00:28:58,104
(laughs) Don't you just love her, Joshy?
822
00:28:58,106 --> 00:28:59,355
Don't you just want to put her
823
00:28:59,357 --> 00:29:00,840
in a bowl with chocolate sauce and eat her?
824
00:29:00,842 --> 00:29:02,725
(imitates noshing)
825
00:29:02,727 --> 00:29:05,500
Uh, uh, I thought we
were off sugar, Valencia.
826
00:29:05,525 --> 00:29:07,007
Oh, you're funny.
827
00:29:07,032 --> 00:29:08,681
I'm starting to like humor.
828
00:29:08,683 --> 00:29:10,016
Come on, dance with me, Joshy.
829
00:29:10,018 --> 00:29:12,068
I want to see you work that thang.
830
00:29:17,374 --> 00:29:20,126
What's up with your
resting Maggie Smith face?
831
00:29:20,128 --> 00:29:21,411
What?
832
00:29:21,413 --> 00:29:22,662
What is this?
833
00:29:22,664 --> 00:29:24,964
This? This is called a metallic mini.
834
00:29:24,966 --> 00:29:27,242
No, the thing where you
copy another girl's outfit.
835
00:29:27,267 --> 00:29:29,601
What are you up to, you duplicitous minx?
836
00:29:29,728 --> 00:29:31,611
I'm not copying her.
837
00:29:31,636 --> 00:29:33,636
I'm just heavily influenced by her,
838
00:29:33,661 --> 00:29:37,060
like... like how Picasso was
influenced by early portraiture
839
00:29:37,062 --> 00:29:39,062
before he created the Cubist movement.
840
00:29:39,064 --> 00:29:41,230
You went to Harvard... We get it.
841
00:29:41,664 --> 00:29:44,067
Anyway, can I get you a drink?
842
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,217
Um...
843
00:29:45,219 --> 00:29:47,186
How many bras are you wearing, by the way?
844
00:29:47,188 --> 00:29:48,855
(sighs) Come on, you
crazy kids, let's dance.
845
00:29:48,857 --> 00:29:51,190
Okay. Come on.
846
00:29:51,192 --> 00:29:52,108
Okay. (whoops)
847
00:29:52,110 --> 00:29:54,560
Whoa, you clean up good.
848
00:29:54,562 --> 00:29:55,895
Oh, thanks.
849
00:29:55,897 --> 00:29:57,730
I'm just gonna go dance
with my friend, though, so...
850
00:29:57,732 --> 00:29:59,449
Hey, whatever happened
with you and your ex?
851
00:29:59,451 --> 00:30:00,399
Uh, I saw him over there.
852
00:30:00,401 --> 00:30:02,001
It's the buff Asian dude, right?
853
00:30:02,003 --> 00:30:03,419
Ex?
854
00:30:03,421 --> 00:30:04,737
No, he's not my ex.
855
00:30:04,739 --> 00:30:07,040
I... I was just talk...
I was just talking...
856
00:30:07,042 --> 00:30:08,925
Oh, you're still bummed
he's with that other girl.
857
00:30:08,927 --> 00:30:09,959
Don't worry.
858
00:30:09,961 --> 00:30:11,523
You'll get him, kid.
859
00:30:11,763 --> 00:30:13,890
Hey, I'll see you at the market.
860
00:30:14,471 --> 00:30:16,922
Oh, next week we're having
a sale on clementines.
861
00:30:16,947 --> 00:30:18,780
It's gonna be tight!
862
00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,020
Wait a second.
863
00:30:22,383 --> 00:30:24,107
You and Josh dated?
864
00:30:24,109 --> 00:30:25,925
Okay, so nobody knows.
865
00:30:26,211 --> 00:30:27,426
Well, that guy knows.
866
00:30:27,428 --> 00:30:30,279
(scoffs) I am so stupid.
867
00:30:30,281 --> 00:30:32,598
It all makes sense now...
Everything, all of it.
868
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,151
- When did you date? In New York?
- It's complicated.
869
00:30:35,153 --> 00:30:37,436
(scoffs) No, something
with you is complicated?
870
00:30:37,438 --> 00:30:38,571
- VALENCIA: Rebecca!
- Oh, my God.
871
00:30:38,573 --> 00:30:39,772
Just please... just
please don't say anything.
872
00:30:39,774 --> 00:30:41,958
Please, please, please,
please don't say anything.
873
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,160
Please, please, please, please.
874
00:30:48,391 --> 00:30:49,691
Why so serious?
875
00:30:49,693 --> 00:30:51,393
Come on, dance with Greg.
876
00:30:51,395 --> 00:30:53,228
Dance with Greg.
877
00:30:55,399 --> 00:30:56,349
Get away from me.
878
00:30:56,351 --> 00:30:57,734
She-she wants me to dance with you.
879
00:30:57,736 --> 00:30:59,069
You do everything she says?
880
00:30:59,071 --> 00:31:00,570
No.
881
00:31:09,797 --> 00:31:12,048
(giggling): Hi.
882
00:31:17,371 --> 00:31:18,872
Ooh, oh.
883
00:31:25,146 --> 00:31:29,266
(whooping)
884
00:31:36,023 --> 00:31:39,659
Hey, cutie, don't know if you knew
885
00:31:39,661 --> 00:31:43,079
But I've kind of got
a girl crush on you
886
00:31:43,081 --> 00:31:46,733
You're everything
that I wish I could be
887
00:31:46,735 --> 00:31:50,253
Gonna tell you what I want
to do to you, tee hee hee
888
00:31:50,255 --> 00:31:54,090
I want to lock you in a
basement with soundproof walls
889
00:31:54,092 --> 00:31:57,627
And take over your identity
890
00:31:57,629 --> 00:32:01,598
I want to cut the silky
hair right off your head
891
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,851
And slurp it up like spaghetti
892
00:32:04,853 --> 00:32:06,720
Want to clone you and consume you
893
00:32:06,722 --> 00:32:08,605
Want to own you and cartoon you
894
00:32:08,607 --> 00:32:11,524
Fly your dirty panties like a kite
895
00:32:11,526 --> 00:32:12,258
Kite
896
00:32:12,260 --> 00:32:17,931
'Cause
I-I-I-I
897
00:32:17,933 --> 00:32:21,484
Sorry I said that
creepy stuff out loud
898
00:32:21,486 --> 00:32:25,038
That was super rando
899
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,208
I meant to say I want
to do cutesy stuff
900
00:32:28,210 --> 00:32:32,379
Like pillow fight or
go swimming commando
901
00:32:32,381 --> 00:32:35,281
I want to kill you and
wear your skin like a dress
902
00:32:35,283 --> 00:32:39,469
But then also have
you see me in the dress
903
00:32:39,471 --> 00:32:42,389
And be like, �O-M-G, you
look so cute in my skin�
904
00:32:42,391 --> 00:32:44,591
I want to lock you in a basement
905
00:32:44,593 --> 00:32:49,128
But in that basement you would
also be my personal trainer
906
00:32:49,130 --> 00:32:50,680
I want your abs
907
00:32:50,682 --> 00:32:53,633
Break into your mom's house,
collect your baby teeth
908
00:32:53,635 --> 00:32:56,653
And turn them into my new retainer
909
00:32:56,655 --> 00:32:58,154
I want your smile
910
00:32:58,156 --> 00:32:59,990
Cook your spit into a chowder
911
00:32:59,992 --> 00:33:01,808
Dry your sweat into a powder
912
00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:04,611
And do lines of you
all through the night
913
00:33:04,613 --> 00:33:05,612
Night
914
00:33:05,614 --> 00:33:09,199
'Cause
I-I-I-I-I-I-I
915
00:33:09,201 --> 00:33:10,750
I'm feeling kind of naughty
916
00:33:10,752 --> 00:33:12,652
Take measurements of your body
917
00:33:12,654 --> 00:33:14,487
Then go up to a surgeon
918
00:33:14,489 --> 00:33:16,206
Make my body like your body
919
00:33:16,208 --> 00:33:18,174
Like that film with Liberace
920
00:33:18,176 --> 00:33:21,795
'Cause I'm feeling
kind of naughty tonight.
921
00:33:21,797 --> 00:33:24,180
(both laughing)
922
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,517
Wait, wait.
923
00:33:33,774 --> 00:33:35,008
Oh!
924
00:33:35,010 --> 00:33:36,142
Are you crazy?!
925
00:33:36,144 --> 00:33:37,394
What is wrong with you?!
926
00:33:37,396 --> 00:33:38,728
We were just being cute!
927
00:33:38,730 --> 00:33:39,779
Cute kissing.
928
00:33:39,781 --> 00:33:41,031
For attention.
929
00:33:41,033 --> 00:33:43,349
(groans) Are you stupid, Harvard?
930
00:33:43,351 --> 00:33:45,385
Oh, this is why I can't
be friends with women!
931
00:33:45,387 --> 00:33:47,687
Why does everyone want
to have sex with me?!
932
00:33:47,689 --> 00:33:49,689
Okay, so, Valencia, Valencia?
933
00:33:49,691 --> 00:33:51,207
It's all good, okay?
934
00:33:51,209 --> 00:33:53,376
It's just, it's just
there's so much love here.
935
00:33:53,378 --> 00:33:54,577
Just back off, okay?
936
00:33:54,579 --> 00:33:55,996
I-I think we should call it a night.
937
00:33:55,998 --> 00:33:57,564
- You think?
- Hey, shh, come on.
938
00:33:57,566 --> 00:33:58,999
No, I-I just want to apologize!
I want to talk to you...
939
00:33:59,001 --> 00:34:01,034
The reason why, the reason
with her... Valencia?
940
00:34:01,036 --> 00:34:02,453
See, okay, it all makes sense,
941
00:34:02,478 --> 00:34:04,139
because it's a circle of love.
942
00:34:04,164 --> 00:34:05,576
Because I love you.
943
00:34:05,601 --> 00:34:06,716
You love Josh.
944
00:34:06,741 --> 00:34:08,958
And Josh and I used to love each other.
945
00:34:09,084 --> 00:34:11,251
(groans)
946
00:34:15,742 --> 00:34:17,843
What is this drunk bitch talking about?
947
00:34:17,845 --> 00:34:19,428
REBECCA: Um...
948
00:34:19,430 --> 00:34:21,463
so I'd like to start by saying
949
00:34:21,465 --> 00:34:22,734
that it was nothing.
950
00:34:22,759 --> 00:34:25,718
What... is... she...
951
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:28,687
talking about?!
952
00:34:28,712 --> 00:34:29,968
Um...
953
00:34:30,691 --> 00:34:31,625
um...
954
00:34:32,426 --> 00:34:35,895
Do you remember that summer
between 11th and 12th grade
955
00:34:35,897 --> 00:34:38,242
when, uh, I went to camp...
956
00:34:38,267 --> 00:34:40,289
and we were technically on a break?
957
00:34:40,314 --> 00:34:42,937
It was, it was eons ago!
Right? It was eons ago!
958
00:34:42,962 --> 00:34:44,039
It meant nothing!
959
00:34:44,064 --> 00:34:45,880
It was just two young bucks
960
00:34:45,905 --> 00:34:48,539
sharing two months of summer love.
961
00:34:48,592 --> 00:34:50,142
It was a moment of connection.
962
00:34:50,167 --> 00:34:53,070
And isn't that what yoga's all about?
963
00:34:54,945 --> 00:34:56,898
Why did you lie to me?
964
00:34:56,923 --> 00:34:58,172
B-Because he...
965
00:35:00,226 --> 00:35:02,137
I-I was afraid. I was afraid.
966
00:35:02,139 --> 00:35:03,672
I was afraid, okay?!
967
00:35:03,674 --> 00:35:04,836
I was afraid.
968
00:35:04,861 --> 00:35:06,310
I don't know what you're trying to do
969
00:35:06,335 --> 00:35:09,286
or why you pretended to be my friend,
970
00:35:09,311 --> 00:35:11,133
but stay away from me
971
00:35:11,570 --> 00:35:13,250
and my Josh.
972
00:35:22,376 --> 00:35:23,562
Are you okay?
973
00:35:25,803 --> 00:35:26,945
No.
974
00:35:27,384 --> 00:35:29,300
Let me go out on a limb and say
975
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,237
telling the truth from the beginning
976
00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:32,867
probably would've been
the better option here?
977
00:35:32,892 --> 00:35:33,828
You're right.
978
00:35:35,531 --> 00:35:36,697
(chuckles)
979
00:35:36,722 --> 00:35:38,039
I messed everything up.
980
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,161
Thank you for pointing it out.
981
00:35:43,163 --> 00:35:44,820
Is this what you wanted?
982
00:35:44,845 --> 00:35:45,836
You're right.
983
00:35:48,117 --> 00:35:49,518
I'm hungry.
984
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,133
You want to go to a diner?
985
00:35:51,174 --> 00:35:52,840
Maybe get a cup of coffee?
986
00:35:52,865 --> 00:35:55,133
You could use a cup of
coffee, some flapjacks.
987
00:35:55,158 --> 00:35:55,992
Just... I...
988
00:35:56,348 --> 00:35:58,031
Stop being nice to me, okay?
989
00:35:59,755 --> 00:36:02,423
Great to see you, Mr. Spiders!
990
00:36:02,925 --> 00:36:04,789
Well, at least that's been cleared up.
991
00:36:08,133 --> 00:36:11,135
(humming �We Wish You
a Merry Christmas�)
992
00:36:13,539 --> 00:36:15,740
It's not Christmas!
993
00:36:16,586 --> 00:36:17,811
Well, I just like the song.
994
00:36:18,203 --> 00:36:19,062
Where's Rebecca?
995
00:36:19,064 --> 00:36:21,531
I usually see you two at
break enjoying your Luna Bars.
996
00:36:21,533 --> 00:36:23,066
Who cares? I don't care about her.
997
00:36:23,068 --> 00:36:24,801
She talks too much.
998
00:36:24,803 --> 00:36:26,186
Well, I don't know about that.
999
00:36:26,188 --> 00:36:27,487
But she does always
eat the Lemon Zest bars,
1000
00:36:27,489 --> 00:36:30,106
before I can get my mitts on them, mmm.
1001
00:36:30,108 --> 00:36:32,500
You know Luna Bars are for women, right?
1002
00:36:34,008 --> 00:36:35,996
Oh, I did not.
1003
00:36:35,998 --> 00:36:39,812
Yeah, I think they have,
like, menstrual blood in them.
1004
00:36:40,297 --> 00:36:41,172
Stop that.
1005
00:36:41,197 --> 00:36:43,531
No, they don't.
1006
00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:45,343
Oof!
1007
00:36:46,781 --> 00:36:48,652
It's a long story.
1008
00:36:48,976 --> 00:36:52,012
Can I get the number for
Luna Bars customer service?
1009
00:36:52,256 --> 00:36:53,875
I feel like I've lost her.
1010
00:36:55,367 --> 00:36:56,773
I know I still have you.
1011
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,195
But you have your rugby friends now.
1012
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,359
What should I do?
1013
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:11,203
Hey.
1014
00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:13,437
Hey.
1015
00:37:15,434 --> 00:37:17,037
Oh!
1016
00:37:17,778 --> 00:37:19,387
Munchkin.
1017
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,659
God, I am so sorry.
1018
00:37:22,981 --> 00:37:25,442
I'm such a bad friend.
1019
00:37:26,606 --> 00:37:28,665
You're the only person that I can trust.
1020
00:37:29,114 --> 00:37:30,717
You know why? You're a true friend.
1021
00:37:31,598 --> 00:37:33,336
Because a true friend
is somebody who loves you
1022
00:37:33,708 --> 00:37:34,708
no matter what.
1023
00:37:35,192 --> 00:37:37,390
Even if your Downward Dog is horrible.
1024
00:37:37,392 --> 00:37:40,059
(laughing): Oh, come here.
1025
00:37:40,084 --> 00:37:41,633
Oh, you guys.
1026
00:37:41,665 --> 00:37:44,450
Ow, not you, Darryl! Get off!
1027
00:37:45,348 --> 00:37:47,622
You know, that's not true about Luna Bars.
1028
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:49,397
Talked to the customer service.
1029
00:37:49,422 --> 00:37:50,879
They were very nice.
1030
00:37:57,171 --> 00:38:00,816
So, my client, Mr. Mendez,
will drop his counter-suit
1031
00:38:00,841 --> 00:38:04,011
and will reimburse Mr. Robertson
for all of his relocation fees
1032
00:38:04,036 --> 00:38:06,536
for the entire duration of construction.
1033
00:38:06,919 --> 00:38:09,372
Also, he will provide a free lease
1034
00:38:09,374 --> 00:38:10,674
on a floor-through space
1035
00:38:10,676 --> 00:38:12,356
for a period of 18 months.
1036
00:38:13,679 --> 00:38:15,512
Hmm, Ms. Bunch,
1037
00:38:15,514 --> 00:38:18,262
your arguments are...
1038
00:38:18,776 --> 00:38:20,177
persuasive.
1039
00:38:22,419 --> 00:38:24,020
I rule in your favor, Mr. Mendez.
1040
00:38:24,022 --> 00:38:25,555
You are free to build on that lot,
1041
00:38:25,557 --> 00:38:28,108
pending the usual
approvals and inspections.
1042
00:38:28,110 --> 00:38:29,526
(laughing)
1043
00:38:29,528 --> 00:38:31,036
Thank you.
1044
00:38:31,262 --> 00:38:32,862
Ah!
1045
00:38:32,864 --> 00:38:35,932
I have been trying to settle
this case for ten years.
1046
00:38:35,934 --> 00:38:37,867
Uh, yeah, I think you
mentioned that once or twice.
1047
00:38:37,869 --> 00:38:40,770
This is what she did for you her
first week of working for you.
1048
00:38:40,772 --> 00:38:42,706
Imagine what she's gonna do next week.
1049
00:38:42,708 --> 00:38:44,407
Yes! Yes!
1050
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:45,825
- Yes!
- Let's go.
1051
00:38:45,827 --> 00:38:47,711
- Go drink, gentlemen.
- Yes! Ha-ha!
1052
00:38:47,713 --> 00:38:48,828
Thank you, thank you.
1053
00:38:48,830 --> 00:38:51,047
You're welcome.
1054
00:38:51,049 --> 00:38:52,332
(both shriek)
1055
00:38:52,334 --> 00:38:54,551
Oh, my God!
1056
00:38:54,553 --> 00:38:56,386
- Well done!
- Bang! Bang! Bang!
1057
00:38:56,388 --> 00:38:57,504
Oh! Oh, guess what.
1058
00:38:57,506 --> 00:38:59,222
What? I got something for you.
1059
00:38:59,224 --> 00:39:00,456
Oh, Paula, another present?
1060
00:39:00,458 --> 00:39:01,624
Come on, you don't have to do that.
1061
00:39:01,626 --> 00:39:03,843
(stammers) Don't move.
1062
00:39:06,432 --> 00:39:09,568
I got these...
1063
00:39:09,934 --> 00:39:11,768
(both laughing)
1064
00:39:11,770 --> 00:39:14,404
for your feud with Valencia.
1065
00:39:14,406 --> 00:39:16,683
So, you know,
1066
00:39:17,067 --> 00:39:19,326
if it ever becomes a feud again,
1067
00:39:19,794 --> 00:39:23,113
we'll have these handy.
1068
00:39:23,115 --> 00:39:24,447
(laughs)
1069
00:39:24,449 --> 00:39:26,616
Paula, that's really sweet.
1070
00:39:26,618 --> 00:39:27,867
Thank you.
1071
00:39:27,869 --> 00:39:30,319
I just want you to know
that if you ever need it,
1072
00:39:30,321 --> 00:39:34,528
this... T-shirt will
always be there for you.
1073
00:39:35,583 --> 00:39:37,160
I know, thank you.
1074
00:39:37,162 --> 00:39:38,345
Okay.
1075
00:39:38,347 --> 00:39:39,596
And I'm here.
1076
00:39:39,598 --> 00:39:41,548
The-the
T-shirt is me.
1077
00:39:41,550 --> 00:39:43,666
- Which you got that.
- Yeah, I get it.
1078
00:39:43,668 --> 00:39:44,884
I don't know why
1079
00:39:44,886 --> 00:39:47,192
I felt the need to explain that to...
1080
00:39:51,225 --> 00:39:52,842
Hi, excuse me.
1081
00:39:52,844 --> 00:39:54,844
Um, I'm here to see Rebecca Bunch.
1082
00:39:54,846 --> 00:39:56,312
Is she here?
1083
00:40:01,958 --> 00:40:02,986
Hi.
1084
00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:04,404
Hi, do you have a second?
1085
00:40:05,581 --> 00:40:07,661
Uh, yeah, I have a second.
1086
00:40:07,686 --> 00:40:09,161
I have two seconds.
1087
00:40:09,186 --> 00:40:11,973
How many... (laughs) seconds do you need?
1088
00:40:11,998 --> 00:40:13,036
Let's take all the seconds.
1089
00:40:13,061 --> 00:40:14,311
Okay. Let's go...
1090
00:40:14,336 --> 00:40:15,451
This is my good luck room!
1091
00:40:15,653 --> 00:40:16,856
Let's go in my good luck room.
1092
00:40:17,034 --> 00:40:18,755
You know why it's my good luck room?
1093
00:40:18,780 --> 00:40:20,294
I just actually won,
like, a big case in here.
1094
00:40:20,319 --> 00:40:23,645
Like, literally seconds
ago, I won a huge case. Wow.
1095
00:40:23,670 --> 00:40:24,864
Yeah. This place is sweet!
1096
00:40:24,889 --> 00:40:26,051
Yeah, yeah, it's...
1097
00:40:26,076 --> 00:40:27,512
Why are you here? Why are... ?
1098
00:40:27,537 --> 00:40:29,671
Not, like, why are you
here? Why are you here?
1099
00:40:29,898 --> 00:40:31,364
Uh, I've been thinking about it a lot,
1100
00:40:31,389 --> 00:40:33,145
and I realize...
1101
00:40:34,683 --> 00:40:36,247
I shouldn't have asked you to lie.
1102
00:40:36,272 --> 00:40:39,190
The-the crazy stuff that
happened last night, it was
1103
00:40:39,215 --> 00:40:41,582
all my fault in a way,
because of the lying.
1104
00:40:41,607 --> 00:40:44,775
No, no. Some of it was my fault, too.
1105
00:40:45,386 --> 00:40:48,637
I mean, sticking my tongue
down your girlfriend's throat
1106
00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:50,247
kind of crossed a line.
1107
00:40:50,272 --> 00:40:51,067
Right?
1108
00:40:51,363 --> 00:40:53,176
Well, anyway, uh, I'd
like to make it up to you.
1109
00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:56,820
So I was thinking you want
to grab that dinner tonight?
1110
00:40:58,755 --> 00:41:00,145
Um...
1111
00:41:00,170 --> 00:41:01,294
yeah.
1112
00:41:01,801 --> 00:41:03,309
That sounds great.
1113
00:41:09,979 --> 00:41:12,647
- Mmm, mmm!
- So good.
1114
00:41:12,672 --> 00:41:14,055
- Right?
- Mmm!
1115
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,613
- This place is awesome.
- I know.
1116
00:41:15,638 --> 00:41:17,021
Do you come here a lot?
1117
00:41:17,046 --> 00:41:18,712
Well, nah, it's a little far.
1118
00:41:18,737 --> 00:41:21,771
I was gonna say I drove,
like, 45 minutes to get here.
1119
00:41:21,796 --> 00:41:23,179
Yeah.
1120
00:41:23,756 --> 00:41:26,270
Does Valencia know we're
hanging out tonight?
1121
00:41:26,295 --> 00:41:27,973
Uh, no, she says she doesn't want me
1122
00:41:27,998 --> 00:41:29,331
to see you ever again.
1123
00:41:29,356 --> 00:41:30,880
So this is probably the last time
1124
00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:32,571
we can have dinner.
1125
00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:35,157
(laughs) Well, we'll see about that.
1126
00:41:35,182 --> 00:41:36,399
(laughing): Yeah.
1127
00:41:36,987 --> 00:41:39,203
We'll see about that.
1128
00:41:44,926 --> 00:41:46,544
Welcome, everyone,
1129
00:41:46,569 --> 00:41:48,294
to Vampire Weekend.
1130
00:41:48,754 --> 00:41:50,551
For those of you who would
like to go water-skiing,
1131
00:41:50,576 --> 00:41:51,864
there will be a tutorial
1132
00:41:51,889 --> 00:41:53,833
at 2:00... a.m.
1133
00:41:56,021 --> 00:41:56,886
You see?
1134
00:41:56,911 --> 00:41:59,831
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
1135
00:41:59,881 --> 00:42:04,431
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
78349
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.