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1
00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:03,138
Look at us.
Still together as a group
2
00:00:03,139 --> 00:00:06,141
even, what, two months
after being kicked out
3
00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:08,643
of you know where.
4
00:00:08,644 --> 00:00:09,844
Yeah, good thing I came up
5
00:00:09,845 --> 00:00:11,263
with this idea
for potluck dinners.
6
00:00:11,264 --> 00:00:12,864
Pierce, all you said was,
"I'm hungry."
7
00:00:12,865 --> 00:00:14,616
All Henry Ford said was,
"I need a ride."
8
00:00:14,617 --> 00:00:17,202
Troy, is that a casserole?
9
00:00:17,203 --> 00:00:18,403
It's bagel bites
10
00:00:18,404 --> 00:00:19,538
in a deconstructed
hot pocket reduction
11
00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:20,739
with a doritos glaze.
12
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,991
I just really want
to make my food, you know.
13
00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:26,044
Did anybody bring anything
that isn't poison?
14
00:00:26,045 --> 00:00:28,914
I need to eat
natural, organic foods,
15
00:00:28,915 --> 00:00:31,399
or I'm never gonna get rid
of this hangover.
16
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,667
Jeff, what'd you bring?
17
00:00:32,668 --> 00:00:34,503
Pack of lifesavers.
18
00:00:34,504 --> 00:00:35,537
[Clank]
[Shrieks]
19
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,055
Sorry.
Dead battery.
20
00:00:37,056 --> 00:00:38,706
Where's Abed?
21
00:00:38,707 --> 00:00:40,175
Have you seen Abed?
[Knock at door]
22
00:00:40,176 --> 00:00:42,661
He's probably out getting
something really cool
23
00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:44,212
for the dinner.
24
00:00:44,213 --> 00:00:50,185
See? Cool.
Abed brought delicious police.
25
00:00:50,186 --> 00:00:52,154
Abed, what happened?
26
00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:53,522
Found your friend going
through the dumpster
27
00:00:53,523 --> 00:00:55,723
outside the administration
building in Greendale again.
28
00:00:55,724 --> 00:01:00,162
This cadet could use a lesson
in intergalactic protocol.
29
00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:01,279
It's okay, officer.
30
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,398
He's just playing a character
from TV.
31
00:01:03,399 --> 00:01:06,535
Oh, yes, I'm very familiar
with Inspector Spacetime.
32
00:01:06,536 --> 00:01:07,569
You think a guy becomes a cop
33
00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,204
because his prom night
was a dream?
34
00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:12,124
If this were comic-con,
I'd take a bullet for that kid.
35
00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,593
But, here in the real world,
trespassing is a crime.
36
00:01:14,594 --> 00:01:15,760
We're sorry, officer.
37
00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:18,013
Our friend has been having
a hard time
38
00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:21,349
adjusting to being expelled
from Greendale.
39
00:01:21,350 --> 00:01:23,335
It won't happen again.
That's for sure.
40
00:01:23,336 --> 00:01:26,421
I talked to your former Dean.
I recommended he press charges.
41
00:01:26,422 --> 00:01:27,522
He said he'd hold off
42
00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,757
on the condition that you set
an appointment with this guy.
43
00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:31,109
He's offering to foot
44
00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:32,727
the bill for the consultation
himself.
45
00:01:32,728 --> 00:01:34,112
It's the number
for a psychiatrist.
46
00:01:34,113 --> 00:01:36,264
What? No.
Abed's not crazy.
47
00:01:36,265 --> 00:01:38,533
Where does the Dean get off?
He's not the real Dean.
48
00:01:38,534 --> 00:01:40,402
He's been replaced
by an identical life-form
49
00:01:40,403 --> 00:01:41,853
for some nefarious purpose.
50
00:01:41,854 --> 00:01:43,738
Reggie, to the time booth.
51
00:01:43,739 --> 00:01:45,790
We haven't much...
space.
52
00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:48,910
I'll be right there, inspector.
53
00:01:48,911 --> 00:01:51,613
Hey, before I go, you really
shouldn't be using this
54
00:01:51,614 --> 00:01:53,381
to prop open
your building's door.
55
00:01:53,382 --> 00:01:54,883
This is an antique fire brick.
56
00:01:54,884 --> 00:01:56,501
I'd say pre-civil war.
57
00:01:56,502 --> 00:02:00,255
Note the uneven orange hue
and the embossment on the back.
58
00:02:00,256 --> 00:02:02,307
What a nifty little piece
of americana.
59
00:02:02,308 --> 00:02:06,061
You could get 50, 60 bucks
for it from the right collector.
60
00:02:06,062 --> 00:02:07,796
I watch a lot
of antiques roadshow.
61
00:02:07,797 --> 00:02:10,081
Oh.
62
00:02:10,082 --> 00:02:13,068
Anyway, walk to your cars
in pairs tonight.
63
00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:15,954
Rape's up 8%.
64
00:02:15,955 --> 00:02:17,472
[Door shuts]
65
00:02:17,473 --> 00:02:20,909
$60?
66
00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:23,361
Hello?
Rich people, Troy's joining you.
67
00:02:23,362 --> 00:02:24,913
Yes, I'll hold.
68
00:02:24,914 --> 00:02:28,867
Give me some more
tie me to dream
69
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:31,786
give me the hope
to run out of steam
70
00:02:31,787 --> 00:02:35,307
somebody said
it can be here
71
00:02:35,308 --> 00:02:39,294
we could be roped up
tied up, dead in a year
72
00:02:39,295 --> 00:02:44,499
I can't count the reasons
I should stay
73
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:48,720
one by one,
they all just fade away
74
00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:51,673
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
75
00:02:58,147 --> 00:02:59,514
Abed.
76
00:02:59,515 --> 00:03:00,932
I'm Dr. Heidi.
77
00:03:00,933 --> 00:03:02,651
We're going to have
a little chat tonight,
78
00:03:02,652 --> 00:03:03,902
you and I.
How does that sound?
79
00:03:03,903 --> 00:03:05,186
I don't need therapy.
80
00:03:05,187 --> 00:03:07,355
Well, that's
a perfectly normal response.
81
00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:09,457
I concur
with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis.
82
00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:11,126
I haven't diagnosed
anything yet.
83
00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:12,794
Psych major.
Got your back, brah.
84
00:03:12,795 --> 00:03:14,162
[Clicks tongue]
85
00:03:14,163 --> 00:03:19,334
I have to say, I didn't expect
to see so many of you.
86
00:03:19,335 --> 00:03:21,720
Abed won't go to any kind
of doctor on his own.
87
00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:22,721
We caught him last year
88
00:03:22,722 --> 00:03:24,489
trying to remove
his own tonsils.
89
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,641
Well, why don't you let me
take it from here?
90
00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:27,826
You have to understand
about Abed.
91
00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:29,711
He's usually,
you know, adorable weird,
92
00:03:29,712 --> 00:03:32,330
like mork from ork,
but, since we got expelled,
93
00:03:32,331 --> 00:03:35,183
he's been creepy weird,
like present-day Robin Williams.
94
00:03:35,184 --> 00:03:37,218
- I'm not crazy.
- Well, Abed,
95
00:03:37,219 --> 00:03:39,187
I don't deal in crazy.
96
00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:41,222
I deal in health.
Hmm.
97
00:03:41,223 --> 00:03:44,859
So how long has Abed needed
a crazy amount of help?
98
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:53,234
All of this behavior
started after you were expelled?
99
00:03:53,235 --> 00:03:56,087
There may have been
a ramp-up.
100
00:03:56,088 --> 00:03:58,006
[Moaning]
101
00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:00,208
It's okay, buddy.
102
00:04:00,209 --> 00:04:02,210
Just a few more minutes, and
we're good until spring, okay?
103
00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:03,745
But it doesn't make any sense.
104
00:04:03,746 --> 00:04:05,013
Think of it this way.
105
00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:07,349
We get the hour back
later in the year.
106
00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:10,352
- Yeah.
- [Shrieks]
107
00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,020
I "Rent Tower Heist"
last night,
108
00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:13,588
and I won't spoil the ending,
but let me tell you,
109
00:04:13,589 --> 00:04:15,774
it was quite
the hilarious Thrill Ride.
110
00:04:15,775 --> 00:04:19,311
That Brett Ratner, he's a master
at comedic action-adventure.
111
00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:21,980
Mm.
A master at storytelling.
112
00:04:21,981 --> 00:04:24,232
He's just a master
at making movies in general.
113
00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,601
I'm gonna say it.
He's the new Spielberg.
114
00:04:26,602 --> 00:04:29,771
[Thud]
Oh!
115
00:04:29,772 --> 00:04:31,489
I have to go.
Excuse me.
116
00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:33,408
Okay.
117
00:04:33,409 --> 00:04:39,280
You're a bad person.
You're a bad person.
118
00:04:39,281 --> 00:04:42,417
Time enough at last
to eat a sandwich.
119
00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:43,968
Though even he knew
that this sandwich
120
00:04:43,969 --> 00:04:45,920
was nearer his last sandwich
than his first.
121
00:04:45,921 --> 00:04:47,055
Abed, I'm trying to eat.
122
00:04:47,056 --> 00:04:48,556
He said, oldly,
123
00:04:48,557 --> 00:04:49,957
his brittle bones straining
to support the weight
124
00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:53,094
of his wrinkly skin.
125
00:04:53,095 --> 00:04:55,463
Stop narrating me.
126
00:04:55,464 --> 00:04:56,648
He shouted to no one,
127
00:04:56,649 --> 00:04:57,982
just a man alone in time
with nothing
128
00:04:57,983 --> 00:05:00,402
but the cold squishiness
of tuna salad to comfort him.
129
00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:01,853
I take it back.
130
00:05:01,854 --> 00:05:03,822
I don't want
to be in your novel.
131
00:05:03,823 --> 00:05:05,973
Pierce Hawthorne had nearly
lost his grip on reality.
132
00:05:05,974 --> 00:05:07,742
Lately, he'd begun to think
he was in a novel.
133
00:05:07,743 --> 00:05:11,363
And action.
134
00:05:11,364 --> 00:05:13,314
Abed, what the hell
are you doing?
135
00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:14,982
Cut. We got it.
One more for safety.
136
00:05:14,983 --> 00:05:16,217
Abed, it's 4:30
in the morning,
137
00:05:16,218 --> 00:05:17,485
and you're in my bedroom.
138
00:05:17,486 --> 00:05:18,486
Use that.
Okay.
139
00:05:18,487 --> 00:05:20,255
And action.
140
00:05:20,256 --> 00:05:23,324
But that's almost completely
nearly all of it.
141
00:05:23,325 --> 00:05:25,210
If Abed is as sick
as you all say,
142
00:05:25,211 --> 00:05:26,544
then I have no...
Wait a minute.
143
00:05:26,545 --> 00:05:29,163
Nobody in this room
gets to define sick.
144
00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:30,298
I do.
145
00:05:30,299 --> 00:05:31,766
I'm a psychiatrist.
146
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,802
Any kind of doctor can really.
147
00:05:33,803 --> 00:05:35,002
- Really?
- Yes.
148
00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:36,304
Well, if Abed's sick,
149
00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:38,606
then we're all sick.
Yeah.
150
00:05:38,607 --> 00:05:40,225
You can't determine
a person's sanity
151
00:05:40,226 --> 00:05:41,843
from a few amusing stories.
152
00:05:41,844 --> 00:05:43,278
- Exactly.
- That's right.
153
00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,980
I mean, if anything,
Abed's more sane than any of us.
154
00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:47,014
Yeah. Well.
155
00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:49,868
I mean, he's certainly
the craziest one of us,
156
00:05:49,869 --> 00:05:54,906
but, you know, we're all
kind of crazy-town banana pants.
157
00:05:54,907 --> 00:05:57,375
Talk to me
about crazy-town banana pants.
158
00:05:57,376 --> 00:05:59,043
Look, we're just saying
it's been a crazy year
159
00:05:59,044 --> 00:06:00,178
for everybody.
160
00:06:00,179 --> 00:06:02,080
Who among us hasn't had
the odd banana
161
00:06:02,081 --> 00:06:03,581
in his or her pants, right?
162
00:06:03,582 --> 00:06:05,199
I have.
[Laughter]
163
00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:16,644
How long does peyote last?
Just asking for a friend.
164
00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:20,548
Troy and Abed and Annie
in the morning
165
00:06:20,549 --> 00:06:21,816
What are you doing?
166
00:06:21,817 --> 00:06:23,151
Nothing.
167
00:06:23,152 --> 00:06:24,285
Nothing my ass.
168
00:06:24,286 --> 00:06:26,220
What are all these cameras
doing here?
169
00:06:26,221 --> 00:06:29,223
[Radio playing music]
170
00:06:29,224 --> 00:06:30,658
171
00:06:30,659 --> 00:06:32,994
Here, take my coat.
172
00:06:32,995 --> 00:06:34,446
Oh.
173
00:06:34,447 --> 00:06:36,331
Thank you.
174
00:06:36,332 --> 00:06:38,900
That's so sweet.
175
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:40,869
Just don't eat anything
or drink anything,
176
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,872
and no sweating
or bending at the elbows,
177
00:06:43,873 --> 00:06:46,741
and no chairs with backrests,
and if you take it off,
178
00:06:46,742 --> 00:06:50,512
wooden hangers only.
179
00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:52,580
You're probably
warm now, right?
180
00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:56,384
[All screaming]
181
00:06:56,385 --> 00:06:57,685
Good news, guys.
182
00:06:57,686 --> 00:06:59,103
I spent all my money.
183
00:06:59,104 --> 00:07:00,755
Troy, you can't bring that
in here.
184
00:07:00,756 --> 00:07:02,590
Yes, I can.
It's all-terrain, dummy.
185
00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:04,309
I made a plate of cookies
for the study group,
186
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,610
but my boys ate them,
187
00:07:05,611 --> 00:07:07,395
so since they took something
of yours,
188
00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:09,314
you all get something
of theirs.
189
00:07:09,315 --> 00:07:11,115
Elijah loves this, Britta.
190
00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:12,767
There you go, Jeff.
There you go, Troy.
191
00:07:12,768 --> 00:07:14,769
There you go, Pierce.
192
00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:18,122
Karate championship,
second place!
193
00:07:18,123 --> 00:07:19,874
Now I'll be unstoppable.
194
00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:22,109
Oyay!
[Screams]
195
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,745
So you see
what you call insanity
196
00:07:23,746 --> 00:07:25,497
we call solidarity.
[Hisses]
197
00:07:25,498 --> 00:07:26,714
[Gasps]
I'm sorry.
198
00:07:26,715 --> 00:07:28,800
We just finished telling him
about it,
199
00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:30,134
and you grab it and squeeze it?
200
00:07:30,135 --> 00:07:32,119
- I said I was sorry.
- Uh-huh.
201
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,173
And so as a group,
do you always indulge Abed
202
00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,291
in these little misadventures?
203
00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:38,426
Take that back.
204
00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:43,297
Our adventures are very manly.
205
00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:44,799
I have to say
there's more important
206
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,768
to mental health
than a support system.
207
00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:48,436
And assuming
that this group is,
208
00:07:48,437 --> 00:07:51,055
for Abed, said support system,
209
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:53,107
I think I've heard everything
I need to hear
210
00:07:53,108 --> 00:07:55,226
in order to make a decision.
211
00:07:55,227 --> 00:07:57,462
I think
that Abed should be committed.
212
00:07:59,131 --> 00:08:01,983
You mean committed
to his character work, right?
213
00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:04,318
Because he already is.
Abed, show him your Don Draper.
214
00:08:04,319 --> 00:08:05,753
Cigarettes.
215
00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:09,040
[Laughter]
No, I mean an institution.
216
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,725
You mean like marriage?
217
00:08:10,726 --> 00:08:12,210
I mean a mental institution.
218
00:08:12,211 --> 00:08:14,112
Ah. So do I.
219
00:08:14,113 --> 00:08:16,164
Will someone please help me
lighten the mood?
220
00:08:20,871 --> 00:08:23,104
Please,
Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir,
221
00:08:23,105 --> 00:08:26,742
please don't send my best friend
to crazy people jail.
222
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,243
Relax.
He doesn't have the right.
223
00:08:28,244 --> 00:08:29,461
Abed's not dangerous.
224
00:08:29,462 --> 00:08:32,197
Yeah, he's just unique,
like a snowflake
225
00:08:32,198 --> 00:08:33,532
who gets bent out of shape
226
00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,167
when you mix up Star Wars
and space treks.
227
00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:37,269
Or a serial killer's signature.
228
00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,720
I'm a psych major.
229
00:08:38,721 --> 00:08:41,156
His continued obsession
with Greendale Community College
230
00:08:41,157 --> 00:08:43,142
suggests the potential
for escalation.
231
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:45,060
And, frankly, these stories
you've been telling me
232
00:08:45,061 --> 00:08:46,395
are very troubling.
233
00:08:46,396 --> 00:08:47,729
You're troubled?
234
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,481
I don't remember
any of those things happening.
235
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:51,800
Since when do these three
live together?
236
00:08:51,801 --> 00:08:53,134
Look, Abed's obsession
with Greendale
237
00:08:53,135 --> 00:08:54,236
doesn't make him crazy.
238
00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:55,437
If you had gone
to school there,
239
00:08:55,438 --> 00:08:56,638
you'd be obsessed with it too.
240
00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:58,157
It was a messed-up place.
241
00:08:58,158 --> 00:08:59,558
We had lockers.
Yeah.
242
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,193
We're survivors.
243
00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:05,480
My name is Pwofussa Wobinswin.
244
00:09:05,481 --> 00:09:07,866
Who's weady to wearn?
245
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:11,453
Dean, this is not the way
to agree on parking
246
00:09:11,454 --> 00:09:13,989
for the job fair!
It's inhumane.
247
00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:15,457
You have a better idea, Britta?
248
00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:18,260
Yes.
Thousands of them.
249
00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:21,046
Vicki to Queen 3.
250
00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:22,998
Neigh.
251
00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:28,937
[Exhales]
252
00:09:28,938 --> 00:09:31,840
That's all for today.
Read chapter four.
253
00:09:35,562 --> 00:09:37,946
Okay, we're
just gonna ignore that.
254
00:09:43,036 --> 00:09:46,038
[Cheers and applause]
255
00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:50,409
- Bananas?
- Yes.
256
00:09:50,410 --> 00:09:51,860
- Toast?
- Yes.
257
00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:53,579
- Bubble gum?
- Yes.
258
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:55,030
- Pancakes?
- Yes.
259
00:09:55,031 --> 00:09:58,000
- Fries?
- Get out.
260
00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:00,302
Get out.
261
00:10:00,303 --> 00:10:03,472
There's one every year.
I will not tolerate clowning.
262
00:10:03,473 --> 00:10:05,040
- Car keys?
- Yes.
263
00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:10,679
Okay, last bathroom break.
We've got to cram for...
264
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,381
Excuse me, sir,
can we get to our...
265
00:10:13,382 --> 00:10:16,018
[Barks]
[Screaming]
266
00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:17,769
Slow your bones, Rufus.
267
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,388
We got a long road tomorrow.
268
00:10:21,407 --> 00:10:23,742
Welcome...
269
00:10:27,163 --> 00:10:28,864
to ladders.
270
00:10:28,865 --> 00:10:31,333
[Cheers and applause]
271
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:33,502
Interesting.
272
00:10:33,503 --> 00:10:34,836
Eh.
273
00:10:34,837 --> 00:10:37,039
Just wanted to see
if we got the same thing.
274
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,241
It sounds as though this
Greendale had quite an effect
275
00:10:40,242 --> 00:10:41,460
on all of you.
276
00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:43,295
You should all definitely
stop dwelling on it
277
00:10:43,296 --> 00:10:44,346
if you want to be healthy.
278
00:10:44,347 --> 00:10:46,682
Well, come on,
it wasn't all bad.
279
00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:48,934
I was there longer than anybody,
and I'm fine.
280
00:10:48,935 --> 00:10:50,102
How are you?
281
00:10:50,103 --> 00:10:51,553
Why do you ask?
3:30.
282
00:10:51,554 --> 00:10:53,772
[Chuckles]
Uh-oh.
283
00:10:53,773 --> 00:10:54,806
What Pierce was saying
284
00:10:54,807 --> 00:10:57,059
before he started sundowning
is true.
285
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:59,394
We can't just pass
the crazy buck to Greendale.
286
00:10:59,395 --> 00:11:01,029
It could be a good place too.
287
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:02,097
That really doesn't matter.
288
00:11:02,098 --> 00:11:03,448
Yeah, we have a lot of memories
289
00:11:03,449 --> 00:11:05,200
of Greendale
being in our corner.
290
00:11:05,201 --> 00:11:06,285
Dean-a-ling.
291
00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:07,569
I just wanted to drop by
292
00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,488
and tell you we ought
to be hot-stepping it out
293
00:11:09,489 --> 00:11:12,440
to the parking lot
in a brisk, but orderly fashion.
294
00:11:12,441 --> 00:11:13,492
Is there a fire drill?
295
00:11:13,493 --> 00:11:15,043
No, sir,
there's an actual fire.
296
00:11:15,044 --> 00:11:16,578
I wanted you guys
to be the first to know
297
00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:17,879
before I tell everyone else.
298
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,715
I know. It's not right
to play favorites,
299
00:11:19,716 --> 00:11:21,466
but it is no more right
to sit on your feelings,
300
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,001
and I don't know
what I'd do without you guys.
301
00:11:23,002 --> 00:11:24,136
Whoa.
302
00:11:24,137 --> 00:11:26,421
Okay, fire, fire!
There's a fire!
303
00:11:35,732 --> 00:11:36,932
Darcy, you've got a cold.
304
00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:39,467
- I feel fine.
- You're sick. Go home!
305
00:11:39,468 --> 00:11:40,852
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
306
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:42,738
Get out of here.
Get out of here!
307
00:11:42,739 --> 00:11:45,574
I can't believe we got here
too late for pizza.
308
00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:47,308
Worst pizza day ever.
309
00:11:47,309 --> 00:11:48,610
Oh, darn it.
310
00:11:48,611 --> 00:11:53,281
What am I gonna do
with all this garbage?
311
00:11:53,282 --> 00:11:56,618
Psst, it's me, the Dean.
312
00:11:56,619 --> 00:12:00,655
I pulled the last six pieces
of pizza for you.
313
00:12:00,656 --> 00:12:02,624
Ohh.
314
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:04,876
Back to garbage detail.
315
00:12:04,877 --> 00:12:07,662
We have a few students
with birthdays today,
316
00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:09,765
but, hey, why single them out?
317
00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:10,899
What about the students
318
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,517
who aren't celebrating
anything at all?
319
00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:15,137
Are they any less special?
320
00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:16,438
[Clears throat]
321
00:12:16,439 --> 00:12:18,673
Troy and Jeffrey
322
00:12:18,674 --> 00:12:20,609
and Annie and Britta
323
00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,144
and Shirley and Pierce
324
00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:24,229
and Abed and Jeffrey
325
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:29,785
just a few of the most special
students in the world
326
00:12:29,786 --> 00:12:31,486
[Gunfire]
327
00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:33,989
Damn it.
Out of slugs.
328
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:36,158
Next time, I'll put you square,
329
00:12:36,159 --> 00:12:39,027
you pickle-sucking
MacGillycuddy.
330
00:12:39,028 --> 00:12:41,663
- [Gasping]
- Why did you save me, Dean?
331
00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:44,883
I know how important
paintball is to you, Abed.
332
00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,501
I wanted you to win.
333
00:12:46,502 --> 00:12:48,637
It's not important anymore.
I get it now.
334
00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:51,039
It just feels forced.
335
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,541
You just enjoy your prize...
336
00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:56,478
Free tickets to...
[Coughs]
337
00:12:56,479 --> 00:12:58,379
to see 'Chicago"
at the Greendale Civic Center...
338
00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:00,381
[Coughing]
339
00:13:00,382 --> 00:13:04,653
with George Wendt and...
[Coughing]
340
00:13:04,654 --> 00:13:09,024
Stefanie Powers.
341
00:13:10,326 --> 00:13:14,830
Lame!
342
00:13:14,831 --> 00:13:16,314
[Rain falling]
Okay.
343
00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:17,732
That was great,
344
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:19,618
but you really didn't need
to go into it.
345
00:13:19,619 --> 00:13:21,236
You know what occurs to me?
346
00:13:21,237 --> 00:13:24,289
What all those great Greendale
memories have in common?
347
00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:25,290
I was barely in them?
348
00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:26,658
They were all
about Dean Pelton.
349
00:13:26,659 --> 00:13:27,826
That's what I've been trying
to make
350
00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:29,261
you guys understand
for the last two months.
351
00:13:29,262 --> 00:13:30,679
I keep telling you,
352
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,097
we weren't expelled
by the real Dean.
353
00:13:32,098 --> 00:13:34,015
It couldn't have been him.
He loved us.
354
00:13:34,016 --> 00:13:36,918
Maybe we've been so concerned
with moving past Greendale,
355
00:13:36,919 --> 00:13:38,503
we've been living in denial.
356
00:13:38,504 --> 00:13:40,972
It's true.
I mean, let's face it.
357
00:13:40,973 --> 00:13:43,508
We weren't driven crazy
by Greendale.
358
00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:47,062
And Abed's not the crazy one
for obsessing about it.
359
00:13:47,063 --> 00:13:49,147
Abed, we're sorry.
We haven't been supporting you,
360
00:13:49,148 --> 00:13:51,366
and we haven't been honest
with ourselves.
361
00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:53,735
Dr. Heidi, something weird
is going on with that school.
362
00:13:53,736 --> 00:13:57,772
Abed doesn't need to be here.
We need to be there.
363
00:13:58,502 --> 00:14:00,542
But there is no there.
364
00:14:00,543 --> 00:14:02,944
That's the problem.
That's why we have to go back.
365
00:14:02,945 --> 00:14:05,213
No, you can't go back
to Greendale.
366
00:14:05,214 --> 00:14:06,581
Why?
Because it isn't healthy?
367
00:14:06,582 --> 00:14:10,218
'Cause it doesn't exist.
[Thunder crashes]
368
00:14:10,219 --> 00:14:11,286
[Gasps]
369
00:14:11,287 --> 00:14:13,288
I parked by a meter.
370
00:14:13,289 --> 00:14:16,057
Any of y'all park by a meter?
371
00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:17,058
Wait, what?
372
00:14:22,348 --> 00:14:24,315
What you mean,
Greendale doesn't exist?
373
00:14:24,316 --> 00:14:26,600
Well, there is a place
called Greendale,
374
00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,936
and you all spent
three years there,
375
00:14:28,937 --> 00:14:32,073
but it was
not a community college.
376
00:14:32,074 --> 00:14:35,076
[Dramatic music]
377
00:14:35,077 --> 00:14:36,744
378
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,747
These memories that you people
have been sharing
379
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:43,451
are a shared psychosis.
380
00:14:43,452 --> 00:14:44,719
You were patients there
together,
381
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,620
you were released together,
and I am alarmed to see
382
00:14:46,621 --> 00:14:49,724
that you are now relapsing
together.
383
00:14:49,725 --> 00:14:51,893
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
384
00:14:51,894 --> 00:14:55,296
This is not real.
You're lying.
385
00:14:55,297 --> 00:14:58,015
Search your mind
for the real memories.
386
00:14:58,016 --> 00:15:00,735
Try to look past the trauma
you've been blocking out.
387
00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:02,687
- What trauma?
- You all came
388
00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:05,473
to this community college
389
00:15:05,474 --> 00:15:06,774
after your lives had fractured.
390
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,809
Pill addiction,
failed legal career,
391
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:11,696
broken marriage,
lost scholarship,
392
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:13,948
- old.
- Enough!
393
00:15:13,949 --> 00:15:15,333
I don't want to hear mine.
394
00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:17,418
And, if we were going
to fabricate a delusion,
395
00:15:17,419 --> 00:15:20,538
why would we fabricate
a community college?
396
00:15:20,539 --> 00:15:23,958
Ah, yes, this fantastical
community college
397
00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:27,462
where everything that happens
is unbelievably ridiculous
398
00:15:27,463 --> 00:15:30,515
and it all revolves
around you as a group.
399
00:15:30,516 --> 00:15:33,885
The same reason anyone plunges
into psychosis, miss Perry.
400
00:15:33,886 --> 00:15:35,937
It was a mentally-compatible
alternative
401
00:15:35,938 --> 00:15:38,055
to your grim reality.
402
00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:39,190
[Thunder crashes]
403
00:15:39,191 --> 00:15:42,226
[Dramatic music]
404
00:15:42,227 --> 00:15:45,980
Can you believe the secret
trampoline we found?
405
00:15:45,981 --> 00:15:48,032
I know.
It's so great.
406
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:51,369
[Giggles]
407
00:15:51,370 --> 00:15:55,373
[Both imitating gunfire]
408
00:15:56,542 --> 00:15:57,825
For Greendale!
409
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,494
Charge!
410
00:15:59,495 --> 00:16:00,962
Come on, Leonard.
411
00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:02,497
- Yow!
- Ooh!
412
00:16:02,498 --> 00:16:04,215
baby boomer Santa
413
00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:06,584
thank you for everything
414
00:16:06,585 --> 00:16:08,836
you're welcome,
you're welcome
415
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,805
for everything in the world
416
00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:13,174
- Terry, stop it.
-
You're welcome, hey
417
00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:15,560
- Let's do a clip show.
- Bottle episode.
418
00:16:15,561 --> 00:16:16,844
- Don't forget the clip show.
- Harrison Ford.
419
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,145
Remember when we went camping?
Yes.
420
00:16:18,146 --> 00:16:19,313
Remember when we painted
the nursery?
421
00:16:19,314 --> 00:16:20,731
Yes.
Remember when we remembered
422
00:16:20,732 --> 00:16:22,016
going camping
while we were in the nursery?
423
00:16:22,017 --> 00:16:25,686
[Moans]
424
00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:28,022
I'm a millionaire,
I'm an inventor,
425
00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:30,992
I'm a legend,
and I had sex with Eartha Kitt.
426
00:16:30,993 --> 00:16:32,159
It's sad.
427
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,661
Should we increase
their lithium?
428
00:16:33,662 --> 00:16:34,728
Not yet.
429
00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:36,330
I want to see what happens
430
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,666
if we confiscate
one of their pens.
431
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:41,869
[Thunder crashes]
432
00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:48,125
- It's not possible.
- Mm.
433
00:16:48,126 --> 00:16:52,446
You say you started
as a Spanish study group.
434
00:16:52,447 --> 00:16:53,931
Do any of you speak Spanish?
435
00:16:53,932 --> 00:16:56,467
Mi hambre es bombero tirantes.
436
00:16:56,468 --> 00:16:58,085
And you've attended Greendale
for three years,
437
00:16:58,086 --> 00:17:00,888
but don't community colleges
end after two?
438
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,690
Everyone's always saying that.
439
00:17:02,691 --> 00:17:05,192
The average community college
student attends school
440
00:17:05,193 --> 00:17:06,394
five to seven years.
441
00:17:06,395 --> 00:17:07,895
Many offer four-year degrees.
442
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,697
In your mind, they do.
443
00:17:09,698 --> 00:17:10,982
In your mind.
444
00:17:10,983 --> 00:17:14,768
And you shared this delusion
with each other, like that time
445
00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:16,370
all those people
got into swing dance music
446
00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:17,521
back in the '90s.
447
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:19,707
And then you were released,
448
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,375
probably because your insurance
ran out.
449
00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:23,527
But the official story
is that you're now fit
450
00:17:23,528 --> 00:17:25,997
to live within society again.
451
00:17:25,998 --> 00:17:29,133
You just have to accept
the truth.
452
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,929
Wait.
453
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,598
Give me a break.
454
00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:45,349
That made no sense.
455
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:46,350
Yeah, it's me.
456
00:17:46,351 --> 00:17:48,152
No, I think they bought it.
457
00:17:48,153 --> 00:17:49,487
I had to do a little riffing
at the end,
458
00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:52,189
but I was pretty convincing.
459
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:55,076
Well, if it looks like I'm
sneaking out the window,
460
00:17:55,077 --> 00:17:57,495
it's just a symptom
of your deepening psychosis.
461
00:17:57,496 --> 00:17:59,947
Don't hurt me.
Greendale doesn't exist?
462
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,532
How long did you think
we'd buy that?
463
00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:03,668
I'm literally carrying
a Greendale backpack.
464
00:18:03,669 --> 00:18:05,503
I have, like, 1,000 pictures
of the campus on my phone.
465
00:18:05,504 --> 00:18:07,004
I have children
I see every day.
466
00:18:07,005 --> 00:18:08,506
I have definitely
not been locked up.
467
00:18:08,507 --> 00:18:10,091
Get him.
468
00:18:10,092 --> 00:18:13,444
Why would you lie to make us
think we were crazy?
469
00:18:13,445 --> 00:18:14,795
Because, Ms. Edison,
470
00:18:14,796 --> 00:18:16,547
Greendale is purgatory,
471
00:18:16,548 --> 00:18:18,599
and I am the devil.
472
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,801
- What?
- I knew it.
473
00:18:20,802 --> 00:18:23,888
Stop letting him
make you realize stuff.
474
00:18:23,889 --> 00:18:25,272
These aren't even good lies.
475
00:18:25,273 --> 00:18:26,974
All right, fine,
I had to come up with something.
476
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,726
You were getting too close.
Close to what?
477
00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:29,944
To the truth.
478
00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:31,062
The Indian kid was right.
479
00:18:31,063 --> 00:18:32,463
- He's Arabic.
- Also Polish.
480
00:18:32,464 --> 00:18:33,864
Whatever.
I'm a fake psychiatrist,
481
00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:34,982
not a fake ethnologist.
482
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:36,817
The point
is your Dean was kidnapped
483
00:18:36,818 --> 00:18:38,235
by Ben Chang and replaced
484
00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:39,403
with a double.
485
00:18:39,404 --> 00:18:40,871
I was hired
to keep you off the scent.
486
00:18:40,872 --> 00:18:42,456
Chang kidnapped the Dean?
487
00:18:42,457 --> 00:18:43,791
Even for him, that's insane.
488
00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:45,660
Is it?
Think about it.
489
00:18:45,661 --> 00:18:49,714
[Hums]
490
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,503
Whoo!
I said hot damn!
491
00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:58,506
Chang...
492
00:18:58,507 --> 00:18:59,840
What are you doing?
493
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:01,425
I'm predicting future crimes.
494
00:19:01,426 --> 00:19:02,426
[Sneezes]
495
00:19:02,427 --> 00:19:04,011
Now I'm sick.
496
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,063
See, you said
that would happen.
497
00:19:06,064 --> 00:19:07,682
You are a pre-cog!
498
00:19:09,718 --> 00:19:11,552
[Screams]
499
00:19:17,409 --> 00:19:20,161
Again.
500
00:19:20,162 --> 00:19:23,280
[Screams]
501
00:19:23,281 --> 00:19:25,899
You're weak.
502
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,785
Uh, guys,
503
00:19:27,786 --> 00:19:29,370
while we were remembering
Chang is crazy,
504
00:19:29,371 --> 00:19:30,805
the fake doctor sneaked away.
505
00:19:30,806 --> 00:19:32,173
- Oh, crap!
- What?
506
00:19:32,174 --> 00:19:34,041
There goes our only chance
of clearing our names.
507
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,844
You guys, forget about us.
The Dean has been kidnapped.
508
00:19:36,845 --> 00:19:39,680
He's out there somewhere,
alone and cold
509
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,682
and most likely
trying to cobble together
510
00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:43,217
a sexy Patty Hearst costume.
511
00:19:43,218 --> 00:19:45,186
Britta's right.
Wait, what?
512
00:19:45,187 --> 00:19:46,937
We need to rescue the Dean.
513
00:19:46,938 --> 00:19:48,272
We need to get back
to that school.
514
00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:49,974
And we definitely never need
to do another paintball.
515
00:19:49,975 --> 00:19:51,559
- Yeah.
- See, therapy does work.
516
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,944
We're cured.
Aw. Aw.
517
00:19:57,199 --> 00:19:59,233
Sounds like the study group
has gotten wise
518
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:01,569
to Operation Doppel-Deaner.
519
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:04,905
It's time for phase two.
What's phase two?
520
00:20:04,906 --> 00:20:06,657
Hey, I'm making up
the same plan you are.
521
00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:08,442
Pitches, pitches, pitches.
522
00:20:08,443 --> 00:20:10,423
Ah, thank you, Megan.
523
00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:14,594
Troy and Abed
in the morning
524
00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,012
Nights.
525
00:20:16,013 --> 00:20:17,247
Welcome back,
all you night owls.
526
00:20:17,248 --> 00:20:18,898
Troy, why don't we open up
the phone lines?
527
00:20:18,899 --> 00:20:21,551
Talk to us, lonely hearts.
We got Jeff W. calling.
528
00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:23,002
Hello?
529
00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:24,737
Hey, Jeff,
what's your question?
530
00:20:24,738 --> 00:20:26,489
- Who is this?
- Great question.
531
00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:27,941
We're us.
You guys,
532
00:20:27,942 --> 00:20:30,176
it's 3:00 in the morning.
533
00:20:30,177 --> 00:20:31,511
I'm trying to sleep.
534
00:20:31,512 --> 00:20:32,562
I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff.
535
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:34,881
Why don't you stay on the line
and we'll get your information.
536
00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:36,115
Yeah, we'll get you
the help you need.
537
00:20:36,116 --> 00:20:37,667
Our next caller's Annie E.
538
00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:38,835
What's on your mind tonight,
Annie?
539
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,671
Hey, guys, long time,
first time, love the show.
540
00:20:41,672 --> 00:20:43,706
Aw, appreciate ya.
How can we help?
541
00:20:43,707 --> 00:20:44,991
[Thumping]
542
00:20:44,992 --> 00:20:47,261
You can shut up
and go to sleep.
543
00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:51,631
Well, Jacks and Jills,
that's about all the time
544
00:20:51,632 --> 00:20:53,349
we have tonight.
Yeah, until next time,
545
00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:54,617
may your dreams be sweet
546
00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:56,686
and your nightmares
be "spooky monster" scary
547
00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:58,554
and not "grandma died" scary.
548
00:20:58,555 --> 00:21:00,690
Troy and Abed
in the morning
549
00:21:00,691 --> 00:21:03,710
Nights.
550
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,310
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