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1
00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:01,383
Best friends, best friends...
2
00:00:01,503 --> 00:00:02,571
Making a cake
- Wait.
3
00:00:02,638 --> 00:00:03,772
Ah.
4
00:00:03,839 --> 00:00:04,873
Best friends,
best friends
5
00:00:04,941 --> 00:00:06,174
making a cake
- Pyoo!
6
00:00:06,469 --> 00:00:08,137
I never thought I'd miss it.
7
00:00:08,205 --> 00:00:10,720
How come I'm not best friends
with anyone in the group?
8
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:11,885
Aw!
9
00:00:12,005 --> 00:00:13,418
Don't patronize me.
10
00:00:13,487 --> 00:00:14,753
Oh.
11
00:00:14,821 --> 00:00:16,355
She'll be coming
around the mountain
12
00:00:16,422 --> 00:00:18,189
when she comes,
whoo-whoo
13
00:00:18,256 --> 00:00:19,524
Just letting the students know
14
00:00:19,592 --> 00:00:21,225
that if you're on campus
this weekend,
15
00:00:21,293 --> 00:00:23,027
you'll have to park
on the street
16
00:00:23,095 --> 00:00:24,529
because of the carnival.
17
00:00:24,597 --> 00:00:27,398
On an unrelated note,
I'm into trains now.
18
00:00:27,466 --> 00:00:28,967
A real carnival?
19
00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,235
Is the company called
red beard's amusements?
20
00:00:31,303 --> 00:00:32,503
Name rings a bell.
21
00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:33,937
But with me,
that could mean anything.
22
00:00:34,005 --> 00:00:35,772
I wonder.
23
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,174
I have an ex-boyfriend
that travels with a carnival.
24
00:00:41,646 --> 00:00:42,946
I'm sorry, Britta.
25
00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:44,715
Some things are funny
because they make no sense.
26
00:00:44,782 --> 00:00:46,850
And that is not one of them.
27
00:00:46,918 --> 00:00:50,252
Well, it looks like my news
has incited some doings.
28
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,522
And if that's not my job,
what is?
29
00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:55,224
Choo choo!
30
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,459
Well, you're also
supposed to--
31
00:00:57,528 --> 00:01:00,095
Eh.
Administrate the school.
32
00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:03,032
So, Britta, tell us about
your carnival worker boyfriend.
33
00:01:03,099 --> 00:01:04,866
Why, so you all can get
a big laugh?
34
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,067
- Yeah.
- I'd love to have a laugh.
35
00:01:06,135 --> 00:01:07,268
The exact reason.
36
00:01:07,336 --> 00:01:09,504
Fine.
I'm not ashamed of my past.
37
00:01:09,572 --> 00:01:10,906
And if it entertains you guys,
38
00:01:10,973 --> 00:01:13,474
that's great
because we're friends.
39
00:01:13,543 --> 00:01:15,109
His name is Blade and...
40
00:01:16,546 --> 00:01:17,712
What?
Oh, no, Britta!
41
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:20,114
She invoked friendship
to undercut the laugh,
42
00:01:20,182 --> 00:01:22,382
and we're still laughing.
That's how funny it is!
43
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,117
His name is Blade.
Is that legal?
44
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,519
Shouldn't new line cinema
be suing him?
45
00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:27,821
He was called that
before that stupid movie.
46
00:01:27,889 --> 00:01:30,691
He was called that
before the fantastic movie.
47
00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:32,192
And it was a marvel comic
in 1973.
48
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,460
Well, nerd alert.
49
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,262
Well, ex-boyfriend named
Blade alert.
50
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:39,198
Her love life makes Pierce
seem with it.
51
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,600
Her pain unifies us.
52
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:43,102
She has the king Arthur
of bad taste in men.
53
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,171
I'm glad you guys
are reacting this way.
54
00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:47,707
I need to be reminded
that he is the worst on earth.
55
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,876
Because if he comes
through town and calls me,
56
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,477
I will be there
in five minutes.
57
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,912
- I don't understand.
- Uh, Andre much?
58
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,814
- Okay, I understand.
- I don't.
59
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:56,949
- You will.
- What's that mean?
60
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,817
- He's hung.
- Oh, God!
61
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,118
Pierce, you're disgusting.
62
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:01,620
Just like that
I'm disgusting again.
63
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,790
I was one of the gang.
It was in my hand.
64
00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:06,524
Sometimes, a woman meets a man
65
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,493
that she just can't shake
from her system
66
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,194
no matter much
she knows better.
67
00:02:10,261 --> 00:02:12,463
I lucked out with Andre,
but God help me.
68
00:02:12,530 --> 00:02:14,198
As you all know, there's not
a lot he couldn't get away with.
69
00:02:14,265 --> 00:02:17,034
So what, Britta?
You're in love with a guy
70
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:19,003
who's named after
a kickboxing vampire movie?
71
00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:21,639
A fantastic kickboxing
vampire movie.
72
00:02:21,707 --> 00:02:24,975
No, I don't believe in love
because of this guy...
73
00:02:25,042 --> 00:02:27,376
Named after
a kickboxing vampire movie.
74
00:02:27,444 --> 00:02:28,778
Oh, Britta!
75
00:02:28,846 --> 00:02:30,413
Oh, sweetie.
76
00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:31,414
You wanna watch Blade tonight?
77
00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:32,616
Yes.
78
00:02:32,683 --> 00:02:36,653
Give me some rope,
time in a tree
79
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,555
give me the hope
to run out of steam
80
00:02:39,624 --> 00:02:42,791
somebody said
we could be here
81
00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:46,762
we could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year
82
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:57,373
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com.
83
00:02:59,474 --> 00:03:01,876
Ugh, I love that I have
a locker now.
84
00:03:01,944 --> 00:03:03,611
All that wasted time going
to my car
85
00:03:03,679 --> 00:03:05,847
for mid-afternoon wardrobe
adjustments.
86
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:08,516
What do you think, hmm?
Stick with what's working?
87
00:03:08,583 --> 00:03:09,684
You're gonna change your shirt?
88
00:03:09,752 --> 00:03:11,218
Not if it's working.
89
00:03:11,286 --> 00:03:13,286
- It's not working.
- Yeah.
90
00:03:13,354 --> 00:03:15,321
You're right.
I knew it.
91
00:03:15,389 --> 00:03:18,224
- I'll have what she's having.
- Hey, grow up, lady!
92
00:03:18,292 --> 00:03:20,727
- Annie!
- His shirt wasn't working!
93
00:03:20,795 --> 00:03:22,095
I need your help.
94
00:03:22,163 --> 00:03:23,530
It Blade's carnival
that's coming.
95
00:03:23,597 --> 00:03:25,565
He's working the BB gun
duck-shooting gallery.
96
00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,467
I guess he finally got
the promotion.
97
00:03:27,535 --> 00:03:28,901
And he will call me.
98
00:03:28,969 --> 00:03:30,269
And left unattended,
99
00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:32,271
I will end up doing him
like a crossword,
100
00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:33,839
and I will regret it.
101
00:03:33,907 --> 00:03:35,174
So I need you to take my phone,
102
00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:36,508
and don't give it back
until Monday!
103
00:03:36,576 --> 00:03:37,509
Of course.
Okay.
104
00:03:37,577 --> 00:03:39,011
- For real?
- Pipe it!
105
00:03:39,079 --> 00:03:41,113
And I need to stay with you
this weekend.
106
00:03:41,181 --> 00:03:43,883
Not just stay with you,
I need to be on lockdown.
107
00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:46,484
You were a pillhead,
so think of Blade as Adderall.
108
00:03:46,552 --> 00:03:48,219
And handcuff me to the radiator
109
00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:50,722
like a mother-flipping
carny-banging werewolf.
110
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,256
I got this.
I got this.
111
00:03:52,324 --> 00:03:53,591
Our apartment
has central heating,
112
00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:55,226
but I get the idea--
stay strong.
113
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:57,762
Man, I wonder how many women
I've affected this way.
114
00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:58,963
Ha ha!
115
00:04:02,801 --> 00:04:04,201
Whoo whoo!
116
00:04:04,268 --> 00:04:06,469
All aboard
the human being railway!
117
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:08,271
Next stop, spo--
118
00:04:08,339 --> 00:04:09,740
- I'll get to the point.
119
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:11,408
I'd like your student
Troy Barnes
120
00:04:11,475 --> 00:04:13,877
enrolled in the air conditioning
repair program immediately.
121
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:17,080
Oh, a wonderful opportunity
for a young man of...
122
00:04:17,147 --> 00:04:18,681
Urban race.
123
00:04:18,749 --> 00:04:21,650
Yet try as I might, I'm unable
to make him see it that way.
124
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,553
I need you to change his mind.
125
00:04:24,621 --> 00:04:26,756
But if he's not interested,
what can I do?
126
00:04:26,824 --> 00:04:29,325
Dean, have we forgotten
that your school
127
00:04:29,392 --> 00:04:31,828
is under the ac repair
school's thumb?
128
00:04:31,895 --> 00:04:33,294
Uh, we have not.
129
00:04:33,362 --> 00:04:36,497
Then mine is not to tell you
how to do what I want done.
130
00:04:36,565 --> 00:04:38,133
Mine is to want
131
00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:41,002
and to say my want.
132
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:42,938
Yours is to know and to do.
133
00:04:43,005 --> 00:04:44,639
I know exactly what to do.
134
00:04:47,443 --> 00:04:52,646
Natalie, could you get me a,
um, book on how to do things?
135
00:04:52,714 --> 00:04:54,749
You know what,
just make me a scotch and soda.
136
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,650
- Make it yourself!
- I don't know how.
137
00:04:58,319 --> 00:04:59,720
I love Blade's
special Blade weapons.
138
00:04:59,788 --> 00:05:01,588
Yeah, see that sword?
It has two blades.
139
00:05:01,656 --> 00:05:02,823
One blade is silver,
140
00:05:02,891 --> 00:05:03,991
the other blade is infused
with garlic.
141
00:05:04,059 --> 00:05:05,992
- I should check my messages.
- No.
142
00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:08,427
Guys, could we maybe
watch a different movie
143
00:05:08,495 --> 00:05:10,630
or just stop saying that word
six times per minute?
144
00:05:10,697 --> 00:05:11,998
- What word?
- Blade.
145
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:13,199
Oh, because of
Britta's ex-boyfriend.
146
00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:14,567
Can you check my messages
for me
147
00:05:14,635 --> 00:05:15,769
and tell me if he called?
148
00:05:15,836 --> 00:05:17,036
I don't think
that's a good idea.
149
00:05:17,104 --> 00:05:18,371
What if my mother died?
150
00:05:18,438 --> 00:05:20,273
You guys are really
talking over Blade.
151
00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:22,607
- Not cool!
- Annie, subdue your guest.
152
00:05:22,675 --> 00:05:24,309
Annie, think for one second.
153
00:05:24,377 --> 00:05:26,544
You have my phone,
and you're not even checking it.
154
00:05:26,612 --> 00:05:27,880
What if my mother is dying?
155
00:05:27,947 --> 00:05:29,281
This is junkie talk.
156
00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:30,749
You just wanna know
where your phone's hidden.
157
00:05:30,817 --> 00:05:32,284
I just wanna know
if my mother is dying.
158
00:05:32,351 --> 00:05:34,987
It's a simple yes or no.
I'll cover my eyes.
159
00:05:35,054 --> 00:05:36,588
You go check my phone and say,
160
00:05:36,656 --> 00:05:39,556
"No, your mother isn't dying"
or "Yes, your mother is dying,"
161
00:05:39,624 --> 00:05:43,094
and then we go back
to watching the film.
162
00:05:55,072 --> 00:05:56,606
Give it to me!
163
00:05:56,674 --> 00:05:58,374
That's right, Britta.
It's a banana.
164
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,877
Why is there a banana
in your DVD cabinet?
165
00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,313
Read the banana, Britta.
166
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,381
"You are a lying junkie."
167
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,883
I'm sure those words hurt.
168
00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:10,152
But you wouldn't be reading them
if they weren't true.
169
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,655
I am so weak.
170
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:16,591
But we are not defined
by our limitations.
171
00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:18,928
We are defined
by our potentials.
172
00:06:18,995 --> 00:06:20,495
I have the potential
to watch Blade.
173
00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:23,065
You two are bad friends!
Bad.
174
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,333
That's unfair.
What about you guys?
175
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,802
Okay, you don't like our movie,
we can't say the word "Blade,"
176
00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:29,370
there's phones
in the refrigerator.
177
00:06:29,438 --> 00:06:30,839
Oops.
178
00:06:30,906 --> 00:06:33,074
- Troy, Abed!
- Let me see if he called!
179
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,376
I have a right to know!
You're monsters!
180
00:06:35,444 --> 00:06:38,112
You're Hitlers!
You're racist pedophiles!
181
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,081
You're the opposites of Batman!
182
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,414
You don't know what that means.
183
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,583
Gonna rip out your throats
and eat your--
184
00:06:43,651 --> 00:06:45,052
Still think the lock
was overkill?
185
00:06:45,119 --> 00:06:46,786
No.
186
00:06:46,855 --> 00:06:48,788
There's
phones in the refrigerator.
187
00:06:48,857 --> 00:06:51,524
It's you.
188
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,564
Boys' night!
189
00:06:58,631 --> 00:06:59,966
I need help reacting
to something.
190
00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:01,447
Hi!
191
00:07:05,554 --> 00:07:07,768
I heard it's just a quick icky play.
192
00:07:07,888 --> 00:07:08,877
You tell anyone we did this,
193
00:07:08,997 --> 00:07:10,710
I will stop letting you
do things with me
194
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:12,245
I'm afraid
to tell anyone about.
195
00:07:12,312 --> 00:07:13,185
Hey, I get it.
196
00:07:13,305 --> 00:07:14,503
You wanna take a look
at Britta's ex-boyfriend.
197
00:07:14,623 --> 00:07:16,443
If you did it by yourself,
you'd be weird.
198
00:07:18,085 --> 00:07:19,551
You're the only one
that really understands me.
199
00:07:19,619 --> 00:07:20,283
Oh, funky.
200
00:07:20,403 --> 00:07:21,302
Ha!
201
00:07:21,912 --> 00:07:23,267
What, are you guys on a date?
202
00:07:23,585 --> 00:07:25,452
Pretty awkward.
Look what Pierce won me.
203
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,954
What is this?
204
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:29,334
I decided to go outside
the group for a best friend.
205
00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:30,754
And you couldn't do better
than Chang?
206
00:07:30,821 --> 00:07:31,921
You take that back!
207
00:07:31,989 --> 00:07:33,423
He could do plenty
better than me.
208
00:07:33,491 --> 00:07:35,391
I was the first to say yes.
209
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:36,592
Well, have fun forcing life.
210
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,894
We will.
211
00:07:38,962 --> 00:07:40,229
What do you wanna do next?
212
00:07:40,297 --> 00:07:41,531
- Cotton candy?
- Russian roulette?
213
00:07:41,598 --> 00:07:44,167
- What did you say?
- Cotton candy sounds great.
214
00:07:45,735 --> 00:07:48,671
Oh, thank you.
215
00:07:52,141 --> 00:07:54,309
That's it?
Huh.
216
00:07:54,377 --> 00:07:56,178
Hmm. He's not
as good-looking as you.
217
00:07:56,245 --> 00:07:57,845
- I wasn't fishing for that.
- No, no, no.
218
00:07:57,913 --> 00:08:00,382
I offered it freely.
Come on, I wanna go on a ride.
219
00:08:00,449 --> 00:08:01,550
This is a window for me.
220
00:08:01,617 --> 00:08:03,017
I spent my carnival years
pregnant.
221
00:08:03,085 --> 00:08:04,352
Shirley, I'm not jealous.
222
00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,787
I just wanted to see
what the deal was.
223
00:08:05,854 --> 00:08:07,621
Obviously the deal is
he's a dirtball,
224
00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:09,790
Britta hates herself, voila.
225
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,124
What do you wanna do?
226
00:08:11,193 --> 00:08:12,426
I'd like to go on a ride.
227
00:08:12,494 --> 00:08:14,127
Let's go shoot some ducks.
228
00:08:14,196 --> 00:08:15,929
Jeffrey!
229
00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:17,764
Eight of clubs.
I win.
230
00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:20,067
Nice!
231
00:08:20,134 --> 00:08:22,902
- How are you feeling?
- Good.
232
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,037
Great, actually.
Thank you, Annie.
233
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,539
I could've never done this
without you.
234
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,107
I'm glad to be able
to help you.
235
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,442
I want you to know--
236
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,610
and I've never said
these words--
237
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,044
but I've always felt them.
238
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,213
You're a sister to me.
239
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,049
Britta!
240
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,784
Whoo!
241
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,186
Hey, little sis,
242
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,088
do you think you could trust me
to have my phone back now?
243
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,789
I've got my email on there,
244
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,158
my calendar,
homework assignments.
245
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,460
I'm kinda screwed without it.
246
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,795
You're not just
manipulating me, right?
247
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,665
Oh, because of...
Oh, jeez.
248
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,933
Yeah, whatever.
That's over, Annie.
249
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,101
Seriously.
250
00:08:57,168 --> 00:08:59,604
Okay, I have it right here.
251
00:08:59,671 --> 00:09:01,439
It's a gateway
to further trust.
252
00:09:01,506 --> 00:09:02,940
Perfect.
Thank you.
253
00:09:03,007 --> 00:09:07,278
Love the gateway.
Honoring the gateway.
254
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,847
I have to call my doctor
for some results.
255
00:09:09,914 --> 00:09:12,148
Don't worry, I'm fine.
It's just a little personal.
256
00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:15,285
You need privacy, sure thing.
I'll check on you later.
257
00:09:15,353 --> 00:09:17,820
Bye.
Thank you, sweetie.
258
00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:24,060
Boy, this guy doesn't
give vampires
259
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,428
a square inch of leeway.
260
00:09:25,496 --> 00:09:26,862
He's harsh.
261
00:09:29,299 --> 00:09:31,233
What's wrong, Annie?
262
00:09:31,301 --> 00:09:32,601
You came out of the bedroom
smiling,
263
00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:34,803
and then your smile faded
as you leaned against the door.
264
00:09:34,871 --> 00:09:36,405
I gave Britta her phone.
265
00:09:36,473 --> 00:09:38,140
You did?
Why?
266
00:09:38,207 --> 00:09:40,376
She needs to feel trust
to recover, or she'll relapse.
267
00:09:40,443 --> 00:09:42,443
She's gonna relapse
because you gave her her phone.
268
00:09:42,511 --> 00:09:44,679
No, I secretly switched
Blade's number in her phone
269
00:09:44,747 --> 00:09:46,013
to my number.
270
00:09:46,081 --> 00:09:47,315
So if she tries to get
in touch with him,
271
00:09:47,383 --> 00:09:49,016
- it'll come to me.
- That's diabolical.
272
00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:50,685
Yeah,
you're just like Blade, man.
273
00:09:50,753 --> 00:09:52,019
Straight up.
274
00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:53,788
I just hope she can find
the strength to--
275
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:57,392
She's probably just telling him
276
00:09:57,459 --> 00:09:59,493
she's...dying to feel
the warmth of his...
277
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,895
Are you kidding me?
278
00:10:01,962 --> 00:10:03,930
She said we were sisters.
279
00:10:03,998 --> 00:10:07,000
I am so sad right now.
280
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:10,537
And she is so codependent!
281
00:10:10,605 --> 00:10:11,871
And such a bad speller.
282
00:10:17,477 --> 00:10:19,512
Nice shootin'.
Tough luck.
283
00:10:19,579 --> 00:10:22,315
Thanks.
I'll go another round.
284
00:10:22,382 --> 00:10:24,650
There's room in our bed
for three bears, right, honey?
285
00:10:24,718 --> 00:10:26,352
And then some, sugar.
286
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,886
You're very nice...
287
00:10:27,954 --> 00:10:29,922
For a man named...
What'd you say it was? Blade?
288
00:10:29,989 --> 00:10:31,289
Yup.
289
00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:33,090
But that's a carnival name
though, right?
290
00:10:33,158 --> 00:10:35,360
A nom de corn dog?
291
00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:36,695
Why would I have
a carnival name?
292
00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:37,995
Your parents named you Blade?
293
00:10:38,063 --> 00:10:39,364
Apparently.
294
00:10:39,432 --> 00:10:41,966
Well, you seem okay with it.
295
00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:44,068
Not much to do about it.
296
00:10:44,136 --> 00:10:45,069
You could change it.
297
00:10:45,137 --> 00:10:48,372
To what?
Templeton Ferrari III?
298
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,407
Won't change
how mustard tastes.
299
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,710
I'll be right back.
300
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,812
Huh. Won't change
how mustard tastes.
301
00:10:54,879 --> 00:10:56,913
I get it.
I see the appeal.
302
00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:58,749
He's relaxed, he's cool.
303
00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:02,418
N-not as cool as you.
304
00:11:02,486 --> 00:11:05,020
Mr. Blade.
I want three more rounds.
305
00:11:05,088 --> 00:11:06,255
Jeffrey!
306
00:11:06,323 --> 00:11:07,623
Not gonna change
the way mustard tastes.
307
00:11:07,691 --> 00:11:09,024
Oh, and you're so cool,
Shirley.
308
00:11:09,092 --> 00:11:10,693
Sometimes I am.
309
00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:14,897
How many times
are they gonna do that?
310
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,566
Aw, this is it, isn't it?
311
00:11:16,633 --> 00:11:17,967
We're becoming best friends.
312
00:11:18,034 --> 00:11:21,570
I think so.
I think so.
313
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:26,040
Would you let me
be your best friend
314
00:11:26,108 --> 00:11:29,511
I would call you every day
315
00:11:30,813 --> 00:11:35,015
Oh, my God!
One after the other!
316
00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:36,817
"I'm texting to tell you
I'm not texting you any more.
317
00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:39,219
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
318
00:11:39,287 --> 00:11:41,288
"Are you mad at me now?
319
00:11:41,356 --> 00:11:43,524
Fine. I guess you don't
wanna know our two-year-old."
320
00:11:43,592 --> 00:11:44,925
Can we please just put it
321
00:11:44,993 --> 00:11:46,193
under a stack of mattresses
or something?
322
00:11:46,261 --> 00:11:47,695
I don't know.
When is she gonna take a hint?
323
00:11:47,763 --> 00:11:49,830
Britta's attracted
to unavailable men.
324
00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:52,932
- Dean, why are you here?
- Ouch.
325
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,968
Fine. Let's make him
available.
326
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:57,970
- What are you doing?
- Ending this.
327
00:11:58,038 --> 00:12:01,007
- "Leave me alone."
- No!
328
00:12:01,074 --> 00:12:03,976
That's so much worse.
329
00:12:04,044 --> 00:12:06,078
See?
She stopped.
330
00:12:11,150 --> 00:12:12,551
She's calling him?
331
00:12:12,619 --> 00:12:13,985
She was born in the '80s.
332
00:12:14,053 --> 00:12:15,754
She still uses her phone
as a phone.
333
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,188
- Uh-oh.
- That's fine, it's fine.
334
00:12:17,256 --> 00:12:20,292
- We just won't answer it.
- Won't it go to your voicemail?
335
00:12:21,861 --> 00:12:25,062
Hello? Blade?
336
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:32,870
There you go.
337
00:12:32,938 --> 00:12:34,271
I don't know!
338
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:36,574
Change your settings
so it doesn't go to voicemail.
339
00:12:36,642 --> 00:12:38,875
Too late.
340
00:12:38,943 --> 00:12:41,511
You guys act like a carnival.
Be a carnival.
341
00:12:41,579 --> 00:12:43,513
Now!
342
00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:45,482
- Step right up!
- Ding, ding, ding!
343
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:46,950
Get your popcorn here.
344
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,920
- Hello?
- Busy, babe.
345
00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:51,655
Blade, just wait.
Wait, Bla...
346
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:56,058
I told you not to call me
at work!
347
00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,494
"I'm sorry, I forgot.
348
00:12:58,562 --> 00:13:00,429
Don't be mad at me."
349
00:13:00,497 --> 00:13:02,531
She's whipped
by an imaginary douche.
350
00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:05,367
Hey, don't knock it
till you try it.
351
00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:07,402
I got my fake
bachelor's degree,
352
00:13:07,471 --> 00:13:09,505
and then I cheated on the LSAT.
353
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:11,506
You're probably wondering,
how do you cheat on the LSAT?
354
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,774
How?
355
00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:14,241
A magician never reveals
his secrets, my friend.
356
00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:16,010
Ah.
357
00:13:19,114 --> 00:13:22,249
- Yeah! In your face!
- Good job.
358
00:13:22,317 --> 00:13:25,052
Uh, give me the big one!
Yeah, that's the one.
359
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,287
Yeah.
360
00:13:27,355 --> 00:13:28,689
Not too shabby, huh?
361
00:13:28,756 --> 00:13:30,824
Yeah, you really did it,
baby.
362
00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:32,292
So you dropped
out of high school
363
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,861
and joined the carnival.
364
00:13:33,928 --> 00:13:35,462
And 15 years later,
here you are.
365
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,097
- Jeffrey!
- Guess that's about it.
366
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,665
So what's the record?
367
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,233
What's the best anyone's
ever done in this booth?
368
00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:42,969
- I guess eight ducks.
- All right, one more round.
369
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:44,136
One more round.
370
00:13:44,204 --> 00:13:46,038
- Jeff?
- Honey?
371
00:13:46,106 --> 00:13:47,707
Will you excuse us
just for a moment, please?
372
00:13:47,774 --> 00:13:48,908
Certainly.
373
00:13:48,976 --> 00:13:51,043
Can you get over here?
374
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,581
- What is your end game here?
- I don't know.
375
00:13:55,649 --> 00:13:57,249
- I wanna know.
- Wanna know what?
376
00:13:57,317 --> 00:13:59,217
I wanna know what drove Britta
crazy about him.
377
00:13:59,284 --> 00:14:01,753
Are you jealous?
Are you in love with Britta?
378
00:14:01,821 --> 00:14:03,054
No, I am not in love
with Britta.
379
00:14:03,122 --> 00:14:04,589
And yes, I'm insanely
jealous of him.
380
00:14:04,657 --> 00:14:06,057
What's his secret?
381
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,959
Why do you wanna know the
secret to making a woman psycho?
382
00:14:08,027 --> 00:14:09,794
Why do we wanna know
how to blow up the earth
383
00:14:09,862 --> 00:14:11,763
or grow a human ear on a mouse?
384
00:14:11,831 --> 00:14:13,264
In case we have to, Shirley.
385
00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:14,598
In case we have to.
386
00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:17,568
- I'm going to find Pierce.
- Good!
387
00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:20,237
One of those bears is mine!
388
00:14:20,304 --> 00:14:22,772
So this is best friendship.
389
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,206
Something else, isn't it?
390
00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:25,608
How do we keep it going?
391
00:14:25,676 --> 00:14:26,943
How do we know
we won't get into a fight?
392
00:14:27,011 --> 00:14:28,578
I say we just let it happen.
393
00:14:28,646 --> 00:14:30,880
Don't tell me what to do!
394
00:14:30,948 --> 00:14:32,215
- What's your problem?
- What's yours?
395
00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:33,844
I'm outta here!
396
00:14:36,186 --> 00:14:40,388
This is the last time
397
00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:45,226
this is the last time
I'll see you smile
398
00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:47,295
good-bye
399
00:14:47,396 --> 00:14:49,631
my friend
400
00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:53,635
I'll miss you every night
401
00:14:57,539 --> 00:14:59,273
good-bye
402
00:15:06,312 --> 00:15:09,347
Blade, 'sup?
Message.
403
00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:12,817
Okay. We can stop worrying
about voicemail now.
404
00:15:12,885 --> 00:15:14,386
Back to the matter at hand.
405
00:15:14,453 --> 00:15:15,920
Now what are you doing?
406
00:15:15,988 --> 00:15:18,288
- Dean, why are you here?
- Yikes.
407
00:15:18,356 --> 00:15:20,457
I figured it out.
I know exactly what to do.
408
00:15:20,525 --> 00:15:23,360
I'm just gonna be really,
really, really mean to her.
409
00:15:23,428 --> 00:15:24,594
Uh.
410
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:25,962
What don't you get
about the concept?
411
00:15:26,031 --> 00:15:29,033
Britta likes guys
who are mean to her.
412
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,201
She doesn't like herself.
413
00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:34,203
Give me the phone.
414
00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:40,843
What did you say?
415
00:15:40,911 --> 00:15:42,078
Something nice.
416
00:15:42,146 --> 00:15:44,180
Don't worry about it.
417
00:15:44,248 --> 00:15:48,584
I'm deleting it
from your phone.
418
00:15:48,652 --> 00:15:51,086
- Hi.
- What's up?
419
00:15:51,154 --> 00:15:53,588
You guys still watching movies?
420
00:15:56,092 --> 00:15:57,259
Hi, Dean.
Why are you here?
421
00:15:57,326 --> 00:15:59,661
Hi, Britta.
And ouch.
422
00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:01,329
And you don't know anything
about carpentry.
423
00:16:01,397 --> 00:16:02,730
- Nope.
- Or aquariums--
424
00:16:02,798 --> 00:16:04,399
freshwater or saltwater.
425
00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:06,367
- Do you have a big weiner?
- Nope.
426
00:16:06,435 --> 00:16:08,169
I don't get it, Blade!
427
00:16:08,236 --> 00:16:10,971
What's your secret?
Why do I wanna impress you?
428
00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:15,109
Are you dumb or smart?
Are you a loser or winner?
429
00:16:15,177 --> 00:16:16,743
Or are you just a human mirror?
430
00:16:16,811 --> 00:16:18,512
Do we all see
what we wanna see in you?
431
00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:21,549
A magician never reveals,
right?
432
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,685
Right.
433
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,488
Later.
434
00:16:28,556 --> 00:16:30,856
Okay.
435
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:35,161
You dropped over 300 bucks
on my booth, so I'll tell ya.
436
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:36,729
You wanna know my secret?
437
00:16:36,797 --> 00:16:40,199
Yes.
438
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:43,535
Yes, I do.
439
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,440
What are you doing?
440
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,941
I wanna know.
441
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,943
Okay, I'm sorry.
442
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,645
I was texting with Blade,
but it's over now.
443
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:58,583
He's...a loser.
444
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:01,986
Good night.
445
00:17:02,053 --> 00:17:04,522
Uh, uh, uh...
Troy!
446
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:05,990
You should really join
447
00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:07,791
the air conditioning
repair program.
448
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,727
- No.
- Well, that didn't work.
449
00:17:09,794 --> 00:17:11,194
That's what I get
for improvising.
450
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:14,197
Good night.
451
00:17:14,265 --> 00:17:15,698
So I don't get it.
452
00:17:15,766 --> 00:17:18,201
He's a vampire, but he can
walk around during the day?
453
00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:22,305
- What...is wrong with you?
- Huh?
454
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,508
You weren't texting Blade,
you were texting us.
455
00:17:24,575 --> 00:17:26,475
I switched Blade's number
in your phone to mine.
456
00:17:26,543 --> 00:17:29,778
- You tricked me?
- You tricked me!
457
00:17:29,846 --> 00:17:32,047
You ask for my help,
you tell me I'm your sister,
458
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:35,717
I do everything I can
to make you hate this turd,
459
00:17:35,785 --> 00:17:38,654
and the first nice thing
he says, and you're over him?
460
00:17:38,721 --> 00:17:41,257
Who are you?
461
00:17:41,324 --> 00:17:42,657
And why didn't it stick?
462
00:17:42,724 --> 00:17:46,694
I was texting with you guys
this whole time?
463
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:50,365
So Blade...isn't a loser!
464
00:17:50,432 --> 00:17:51,832
Uh-oh.
465
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:55,637
No, let her go.
Lost cause, man.
466
00:17:55,704 --> 00:17:57,605
Jeff!
What are you doing here?
467
00:17:57,673 --> 00:17:59,239
I just got back
from the carnival...
468
00:17:59,307 --> 00:18:00,374
Where I met Blade.
469
00:18:00,441 --> 00:18:01,508
Is he okay?
How is he?
470
00:18:01,576 --> 00:18:02,909
He's brain damaged.
471
00:18:02,977 --> 00:18:04,844
- Well, let's not be petty.
- No, I'm serious.
472
00:18:04,912 --> 00:18:06,146
He showed me the scar.
473
00:18:06,214 --> 00:18:08,315
Ten years ago,
before he even met you,
474
00:18:08,383 --> 00:18:10,784
a loose bolt flew off
a Ferris wheel
475
00:18:10,851 --> 00:18:12,286
and imbedded in his skull,
476
00:18:12,353 --> 00:18:17,190
destroying the part of his brain
that feels shame.
477
00:18:17,257 --> 00:18:20,693
He's basically irresistible
to people for the same reason
478
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,129
he can pretty much only work
at a carnival.
479
00:18:24,198 --> 00:18:26,465
He has nothing to prove
or disprove
480
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:29,168
about himself or to himself.
481
00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:30,502
He has no shame.
482
00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:32,204
Why wouldn't he
have told me that?
483
00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:33,971
Because he didn't care
if you knew.
484
00:18:34,039 --> 00:18:36,274
That is so like him.
485
00:18:36,342 --> 00:18:38,943
- I have to go to him.
- No, woman.
486
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:42,146
None of us have to
"go to" anyone.
487
00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:43,682
And the idea we do
is a mental illness
488
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,750
we contracted
from breath mint commercials
489
00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:47,117
and Sandra bullock.
490
00:18:47,185 --> 00:18:48,919
We can't keep going
to each other
491
00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:53,156
until we learn to go
to ourselves.
492
00:18:53,225 --> 00:18:56,827
Stop making our hatred
of ourselves someone else's job
493
00:18:56,894 --> 00:18:59,697
and just stop hating ourselves.
494
00:19:07,671 --> 00:19:10,106
Annie, I want you
to take my phone.
495
00:19:10,173 --> 00:19:11,907
Do not let me call Chang.
496
00:19:11,975 --> 00:19:15,745
I'm locking myself
in your room.
497
00:19:16,847 --> 00:19:18,380
What are you guys
doing out here?
498
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,914
Self-actualizing.
499
00:19:19,982 --> 00:19:21,283
Well, it's loud.
500
00:19:21,351 --> 00:19:23,685
Come watch Blade.
501
00:19:23,753 --> 00:19:26,388
Okay.
502
00:19:58,986 --> 00:20:00,887
This movie is fantastic.
503
00:20:02,425 --> 00:20:11,969
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com.
504
00:20:14,582 --> 00:20:16,353
Y'all ever notice
that cold spot in the hallway?
505
00:20:16,473 --> 00:20:17,117
Oh, yeah!
506
00:20:17,185 --> 00:20:19,286
That thing is freezing!
507
00:20:19,353 --> 00:20:21,453
You know what could learn
a lesson from that cold spot?
508
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,690
The air conditioning unit
in my living room.
509
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,959
Ladies and gentlemen,
510
00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:28,261
so yesterday, typical Sunday.
511
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,328
I was hanging out
in my dreamatorium.
512
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,696
Whoo!
513
00:20:30,764 --> 00:20:32,331
This ever happen to you guys?
514
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,033
I couldn't remember
where I imagined the door.
515
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,303
Then I realized I was in
an actual bathroom.
516
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,640
Uh, no offense,
but this material
517
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,609
seems pretty specific
to your apartment.
518
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,845
I don't think it'll work
at an open mic.
519
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:53,350
Y'all ever notice
the difference
520
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,619
between me and Troy
brushing our teeth?
521
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:58,722
I brush my teeth like this.
522
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,658
Troy brushes his teeth
like this.
523
00:21:02,994 --> 00:21:04,061
I do!
524
00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:06,263
I do! I brush my teeth
just like that.
525
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,977
Now you know what I'm gonna
talk about next.
526
00:21:08,097 --> 00:21:09,590
Toaster oven!
527
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:11,156
It's from his album.
528
00:21:11,206 --> 00:21:15,756
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