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00:00:02,467 --> 00:00:05,092
♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪
2
00:00:05,176 --> 00:00:06,383
[Blair] Previously
on Black Monday...
3
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,134
Oh!
4
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,134
[Dawn] How are you
gonna get Blair
5
00:00:10,217 --> 00:00:12,258
to just give us his Georgina
shares once he's married?
6
00:00:12,342 --> 00:00:14,092
I'm gonna form a father-son
reverse Diff'rent Strokes.
7
00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:15,842
What's up, queef?
8
00:00:15,926 --> 00:00:18,217
Keith is a...homo?
9
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,009
All I want is a piece
of what we built.
10
00:00:20,092 --> 00:00:22,051
If we're not gonna do
this deal, I got to go.
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00:00:22,134 --> 00:00:23,842
I am not a people person.
12
00:00:23,926 --> 00:00:26,009
Do you know who's really good?
My partner, Dawn.
13
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,675
Why else do you think
she's got 15% of my company?
14
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:31,383
♪ dramatic music ♪
15
00:00:31,467 --> 00:00:35,092
♪♪♪
16
00:00:39,176 --> 00:00:42,383
- [lo-fi melody plays]
- Pull!
17
00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:43,800
[Wayne] Hurry!
Use both nostrils!
18
00:00:43,884 --> 00:00:45,134
[Keith] They're quacking
at you, man!
19
00:00:45,217 --> 00:00:47,217
- Yeah!
- Die, quackers!
20
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,176
[Yassir] God, these graphics
are so realistic.
21
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,967
- [Keith] Perfect score.
- I have to kill ducks
22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,717
- after work.
- [laughs]
23
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,342
My kid is gonna plotz.
His bar mitzvah's tomorrow.
24
00:00:54,425 --> 00:00:56,258
This thing
is impossible to get.
25
00:00:56,342 --> 00:00:57,467
The line's bigger than the tits
26
00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:58,967
on the 'tute
I paid to wait in it.
27
00:00:59,051 --> 00:01:00,759
Hey, speaking of fathers
and sons and shit,
28
00:01:00,842 --> 00:01:02,217
I need a little advice, Keithy.
29
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,134
That's what best friends
are for.
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00:01:03,217 --> 00:01:04,759
[Mo] Ugh.
Look, given that
31
00:01:04,842 --> 00:01:06,176
I'm the Muhammad Ali
of pulling out,
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00:01:06,258 --> 00:01:07,800
I don't have
any sons of my own.
33
00:01:07,884 --> 00:01:09,550
To clarify,
I'm as good at pulling out
34
00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,176
as Muhammad Ali is at boxing.
35
00:01:11,258 --> 00:01:12,467
He is terrible at pulling out.
36
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,842
He's got, like,
nine kids, five moms.
37
00:01:13,926 --> 00:01:16,009
More like Ali-mony.
38
00:01:16,092 --> 00:01:17,550
- Ugh.
- Ugh, ugh.
39
00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:19,842
Look, I want to form
a father-son relationship
40
00:01:19,926 --> 00:01:21,425
with Blair, you know,
so I can get close enough
41
00:01:21,508 --> 00:01:23,383
to him to stab him in the back.
42
00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:25,300
Oh, buy his love.
Like that Nintendo.
43
00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:26,800
I mean, right?
That bad boy's gonna make
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00:01:26,884 --> 00:01:28,425
my kid forget
all about the time
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00:01:28,508 --> 00:01:29,717
he walked in on me
trying to hang myself.
46
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,051
- What the hell?
- Why can't you just
47
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,467
jerk off like a regular guy?
48
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,508
It's called asphyx-turbation,
all right?
49
00:01:34,592 --> 00:01:35,759
You know, you choke
your chicken
50
00:01:35,842 --> 00:01:37,634
while you choke yourself.
51
00:01:37,717 --> 00:01:39,759
I learned it from my friend
in that band, uh, INXS.
52
00:01:39,842 --> 00:01:41,051
- [Keith] It's amazing.
- [Wayne] Buying love works.
53
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,842
You know,
I forgot my kid's birthday.
54
00:01:42,926 --> 00:01:44,467
I went and I got him one
55
00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:46,217
of the actual Darth Vader masks
from the movie.
56
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,508
Oh, uh, Return of the Jedi?
57
00:01:47,592 --> 00:01:49,508
No, I couldn't afford that,
so I got the o-one
58
00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,425
from the rape scene
in Revenge of the Nerds.
59
00:01:51,508 --> 00:01:54,009
But bonding isn't just about
buying them expensive shit.
60
00:01:54,092 --> 00:01:55,759
It's about taking them
to expensive shit, too.
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00:01:55,842 --> 00:01:58,217
Blair was born in a cornfield.
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00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,884
Everything
impresses him, right?
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00:01:59,967 --> 00:02:01,508
So just take him out
64
00:02:01,592 --> 00:02:03,508
to a VIP NYC night
he'll never remember.
65
00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:05,258
- [Keith] That's the ticket.
- So parenting is
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00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,258
just like dating,
but with no sex.
67
00:02:07,342 --> 00:02:08,634
- [men chuckle]
- And that's great,
68
00:02:08,717 --> 00:02:10,092
'cause I'm the Michael Jackson
of dating.
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00:02:10,176 --> 00:02:11,634
To clarify,
I'm as good at dating
70
00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:14,467
as Michael Jackson
is at dating kids.
71
00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,675
Brooke Shields.
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00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:17,508
Jesus. It's 11:30.
73
00:02:17,592 --> 00:02:19,800
Can we please start
the goddamn morning meeting?
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00:02:19,884 --> 00:02:21,383
Hey, who wants to go
double or nothing?
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00:02:21,467 --> 00:02:22,967
- [laughter]
- [lo-fi melody plays]
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00:02:23,051 --> 00:02:25,092
- [Yassir] Yes!
- 20 Gs you don't get one duck.
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00:02:25,176 --> 00:02:27,176
All right,
while you coke piñatas
78
00:02:27,258 --> 00:02:28,884
have been comparing nosebleeds,
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00:02:28,967 --> 00:02:31,051
I secured a large chunk
of public Georgina shares,
80
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:33,884
which means if Mo can get
Blair's family shares...
81
00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:35,842
"When Mo gets
Blair's family shares."
82
00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,884
...we're on our way
to the 51% we need,
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00:02:37,967 --> 00:02:39,508
but there's a twist.
84
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,592
- Thank God. I was so bored.
- [laughter]
85
00:02:41,675 --> 00:02:44,258
[Dawn] The quarter ends
in 48 hours.
86
00:02:44,342 --> 00:02:45,467
If we file with
this much on our books,
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00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:46,926
everyone will know the shot.
88
00:02:47,009 --> 00:02:49,467
Our shell companies are full,
so that means
89
00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:51,217
we need some people
to hide the shares for us
90
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,425
until the takeover.
91
00:02:52,508 --> 00:02:53,884
What about our overseas shells?
92
00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:55,884
We sold our overseas shells.
93
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,176
By the seashore?
94
00:02:57,258 --> 00:02:58,258
- [Keith] Oh!
- [laughter]
95
00:02:58,342 --> 00:02:59,842
[Dawn]
Come on, fellas.
96
00:02:59,926 --> 00:03:01,300
This is a tightrope.
97
00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:03,092
We need people
who won't fuck us over
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00:03:03,176 --> 00:03:04,717
when we need the shares back
99
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,300
but who we don't mind
fucking over
100
00:03:06,383 --> 00:03:08,675
by implicating
in a felony, all right?
101
00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:10,842
Basically, our dearest
family and friends.
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00:03:10,926 --> 00:03:12,508
- Everyone I love is dead.
- I'm not even a citizen.
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00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,383
- I think, so...
- [Dawn] All right.
104
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,675
Wayne and Yass are out.
Mo has no one in his life.
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00:03:16,759 --> 00:03:18,300
I can park a chunk,
but that leaves two more.
106
00:03:18,383 --> 00:03:19,717
- I can park one with Shira.
- [Dawn] Good idea.
107
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,258
Wait, wait, hold it.
Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa.
108
00:03:21,342 --> 00:03:22,884
It's ridiculous.
People love me.
109
00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:25,425
Uh, is that why you were
just brainstorming
110
00:03:25,508 --> 00:03:26,926
about how to make
people love you?
111
00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:28,425
- [laughter]
- Oh!
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00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,759
- She got you.
- Thank you.
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00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:30,675
[Mo] Whatever.
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00:03:30,759 --> 00:03:32,508
Fine, take the last one.
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00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:34,258
And look, if you want
to connect with Blair,
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00:03:34,342 --> 00:03:35,550
just talk to his ass, okay?
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00:03:35,634 --> 00:03:37,342
Open up.
Find some common ground.
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00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:38,717
It's not that hard.
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00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,300
Nah, I'm just gonna go
120
00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:41,342
with the throw-a-Nintendo-
at-it plan.
121
00:03:41,425 --> 00:03:43,134
That's what I'm talking about.
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00:03:43,217 --> 00:03:45,258
Hold on, wait.
You mean tha-that Nintendo?
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00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:47,342
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Blair is a fucking nerd.
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He is gonna love this chilling
vision of our Jap future.
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00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:51,425
Great jam sesh, guys.
126
00:03:51,508 --> 00:03:52,926
- It was actually a meeting.
- [Mo] Okay.
127
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:54,759
- As you were.
- All right, it's cool, yeah.
128
00:03:54,842 --> 00:03:56,009
I-I can get another one
by tomorrow. It's fine.
129
00:03:56,092 --> 00:03:57,800
[Wayne] Oh, "Duck Hunt."
130
00:03:57,884 --> 00:04:00,759
I thought it was "Duh, Cunt."
131
00:04:00,842 --> 00:04:02,592
This makes a lot more sense.
132
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,467
- [hairspray can hissing]
- [Tiff] Oh, my God.
133
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:05,967
I bet he's gonna promote you.
134
00:04:06,051 --> 00:04:07,926
You are finally
getting off the floor.
135
00:04:08,009 --> 00:04:09,800
About frickin' time.
136
00:04:09,884 --> 00:04:11,217
Babe, we don't know what
this is gonna be tonight.
137
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,051
Uh, the guy's unhinged.
138
00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:14,717
I walked in on him
the other day masturbating
139
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,926
to Hockey's Hardest Hits
Volume Three.
140
00:04:17,009 --> 00:04:19,217
- He jerks off in the office?
- They all do.
141
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,592
Well, okay, whatever.
142
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,508
How about you make it
your promotion?
143
00:04:23,592 --> 00:04:25,051
You've literally
been there for weeks.
144
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,675
Babe, you don't really
make Mo do stuff.
145
00:04:27,759 --> 00:04:30,383
He more sort of does
stuff to you,
146
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:32,550
like my gymnastics team
doctor.
147
00:04:32,634 --> 00:04:34,508
You were supposed to start as
a VP at one of the big three.
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00:04:34,592 --> 00:04:36,051
Instead, you're stuck
as a runner,
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00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:37,967
and we're stuck living
in this trash compactor
150
00:04:38,051 --> 00:04:39,926
that doesn't even have
a trash compactor.
151
00:04:40,009 --> 00:04:41,508
Am I supposed
to compact my own trash
152
00:04:41,592 --> 00:04:43,342
like some kind of
piece of trash?
153
00:04:43,425 --> 00:04:44,926
It's not such a crazy ask.
154
00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:47,800
Just let my parents buy us
one trash compactor.
155
00:04:47,884 --> 00:04:49,634
How many were you wanting?
156
00:04:49,717 --> 00:04:52,009
Tiff, I told you
I am very uncomfortable
157
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,258
with your parents paying
for anything.
158
00:04:54,342 --> 00:04:56,009
- Ugh!
- My time on the floor
159
00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:58,176
has made my algorithm 2.0
so much better.
160
00:04:58,258 --> 00:04:59,467
It better be better.
161
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,967
You're working on it
every night,
162
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,842
and we barely see each other.
163
00:05:02,926 --> 00:05:06,800
And I am not even bringing up
the no-sex stuff,
164
00:05:06,884 --> 00:05:07,967
which I shouldn't even be
the one not bringing up.
165
00:05:08,051 --> 00:05:09,134
You should be.
166
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:10,759
Not bringing it up?
167
00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:14,967
You know what? You're right.
You're right.
168
00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:17,884
- Huh?
- I should be more like you.
169
00:05:17,967 --> 00:05:20,176
- Wealthy?
- Bitchy.
170
00:05:21,634 --> 00:05:23,592
I'm gonna go get
that promotion.
171
00:05:23,675 --> 00:05:24,842
- Yes.
- Tonight.
172
00:05:24,926 --> 00:05:26,675
- Tonight. Go.
- Yes.
173
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:27,884
- One more?
- No, no.
174
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,383
No more.
175
00:05:29,467 --> 00:05:32,467
Just--okay, um, well,
I love you.
176
00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:34,634
♪ upbeat electronic music ♪
177
00:05:34,717 --> 00:05:37,258
[Blair] The city
that never sleeps.
178
00:05:37,342 --> 00:05:38,550
- [chuckles]
- [can hissing]
179
00:05:38,634 --> 00:05:40,759
I'm really excited
we get to hang out.
180
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:43,134
I've been making great progress
on my algorithm 2.0.
181
00:05:43,258 --> 00:05:46,258
[coughing] Shut the fuck up
real quick, Blair.
182
00:05:46,342 --> 00:05:48,592
[laughs] This night
isn't about work, son.
183
00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,926
It's about fun, son.
[chuckles]
184
00:05:51,009 --> 00:05:53,675
You ever made eye contact
with the Statue of Liberty?
185
00:05:53,759 --> 00:05:55,258
- No.
- Oh, baby.
186
00:05:55,342 --> 00:05:57,134
This is gonna be great.
187
00:05:57,217 --> 00:06:00,425
♪♪♪
188
00:06:00,508 --> 00:06:02,425
[Keith]
Bad news, Shira.
189
00:06:02,508 --> 00:06:03,592
I'm gonna be a little late
for dinner.
190
00:06:03,675 --> 00:06:05,508
This deal I'm working on
is so hard.
191
00:06:05,592 --> 00:06:07,592
Aw, don't worry
about it, monkey.
192
00:06:07,675 --> 00:06:10,342
We already ate...
four hours ago.
193
00:06:10,425 --> 00:06:12,300
I was actually just sleeping
194
00:06:12,383 --> 00:06:14,467
because we have
a very big day tomorrow.
195
00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:15,884
You're not gonna have to work
196
00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:18,051
all through our son's
bar mitzvah, are you?
197
00:06:18,134 --> 00:06:20,634
No, no--I mean, but,
you know, in work's defense,
198
00:06:20,717 --> 00:06:23,508
it is paying
for this blessed celebration
199
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,967
at the Plaza, you know,
with Mr. Met prancing around,
200
00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:29,092
and Doc Gooden doesn't do
an aliyah for free. [laughs]
201
00:06:29,176 --> 00:06:31,717
No, you got to pay him...
in drugs.
202
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,467
You know,
and drugs cost money, so...
203
00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:37,134
Okay, well, I look forward
to seeing you extremely soon
204
00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:40,300
and all day long tomorrow.
205
00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:42,134
You and me holding hands,
206
00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,342
watching our boy
become a bar mitzvah.
207
00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:45,842
- I love you.
- Love you very much.
208
00:06:45,926 --> 00:06:47,717
- Bye-bye.
- Love you.
209
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,217
[sighs] That should buy us
a little while.
210
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,800
[both chuckle]
211
00:06:51,884 --> 00:06:54,508
To the star in
Starlight Express.
212
00:06:54,592 --> 00:06:56,300
Mm, if I was the star,
213
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,508
I wouldn't have
to work three other jobs.
214
00:06:57,592 --> 00:06:59,300
- Mm.
- No, I'm just another
215
00:06:59,383 --> 00:07:01,467
pair of skates in the chorus.
216
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:04,176
And with the helmet on, you can
barely even tell it's me.
217
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,592
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
218
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,383
because I would know
these legs anywhere.
219
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:08,759
- [snorts]
- Look at them.
220
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,217
- These guys? These guys?
- Oh! So beautiful.
221
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,717
- Mmm.
- [laughs]
222
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:16,592
Are you okay?
You seem distracted.
223
00:07:16,675 --> 00:07:18,258
No, it's fine. I...
224
00:07:18,342 --> 00:07:19,926
I just got to get Shira
225
00:07:20,009 --> 00:07:21,926
to park a shitload
of stock by tomorrow,
226
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,967
and she's already up
my ass with a pair of cleats.
227
00:07:24,051 --> 00:07:25,675
Is that stock thing
something I can help with?
228
00:07:25,759 --> 00:07:27,134
- No, don't worry about it.
- No, I want to help.
229
00:07:27,217 --> 00:07:28,217
No, okay?
230
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:33,592
I-I mean, no.
She is gonna take care of it.
231
00:07:33,675 --> 00:07:36,134
And now let me
take care of you.
232
00:07:36,217 --> 00:07:37,550
- No. Keith. Keith.
- Come here. What?
233
00:07:37,634 --> 00:07:39,217
What? What? What? What?
234
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,842
[both sigh]
235
00:07:40,926 --> 00:07:43,675
You're not making it
any easier to leave her.
236
00:07:43,759 --> 00:07:45,217
- [scoffs]
- You said you'd tell her
237
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:46,967
- about me.
- And I did.
238
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,508
You know, I said that
this deal was hard and...
239
00:07:49,592 --> 00:07:51,300
- No.
- It's not--it's not anymore.
240
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:54,092
Okay. You're upset.
What do you want me to do?
241
00:07:54,176 --> 00:07:56,884
In your world, people look at
you like it's expected, okay?
242
00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:59,842
And in--in my world, people
look at me like I'm infected.
243
00:07:59,926 --> 00:08:02,634
Clever. Well, I'm sick
of being the other man.
244
00:08:02,717 --> 00:08:04,634
Well, you aren't the other man.
245
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:07,842
You are the only man, okay?
246
00:08:07,926 --> 00:08:09,842
- No, Keith. No.
- All righ--come on.
247
00:08:09,926 --> 00:08:11,134
- Mike, come here, come here.
- It's over. It's over.
248
00:08:11,217 --> 00:08:12,467
- We lost it. We lost it.
- Come on. No.
249
00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:14,009
I'm going to shower.
250
00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:15,717
I got Jane Krakowski
and glitter all over me.
251
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:16,926
Fuck.
[sighs]
252
00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:18,884
[swanky piano music playing]
253
00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:22,009
For Mom, we have
Dubonnet with a twist.
254
00:08:22,092 --> 00:08:25,634
And for Dad, Dewar's,
splash of soda, two cubes.
255
00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:27,759
I hate when you call them
Mom and Dad.
256
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,759
- It feels incesty.
- We should be so lucky.
257
00:08:30,842 --> 00:08:33,217
I mean
to have Spence as a son,
258
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,467
not to have kids that
have sex with each other.
259
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,717
No, no, I know, Dad.
I know.
260
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:42,217
Dawny, Spencey,
I got a surprise for you.
261
00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:49,342
I present to you Nefertitty.
262
00:08:49,425 --> 00:08:53,092
[Dawn] Wow. It's like her eyes
are judging me wherever I go.
263
00:08:53,176 --> 00:08:55,217
It's the only piece I had left
from my show
264
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,967
at the Power Gallery.
265
00:08:57,051 --> 00:08:58,926
This new Afrotica series
is really striking a chord.
266
00:08:59,009 --> 00:09:02,675
The whole show sold out--
first time in a decade.
267
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,675
Yeah. I was the model
for the baby.
268
00:09:04,759 --> 00:09:06,300
- [laughs]
- Dad. [laughs]
269
00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:08,634
Everyone, I got
a surprise for you, too.
270
00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:10,383
- [Walter] I love surprises.
- [laughs] Okay, okay, okay.
271
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,009
- Okay, okay.
- Um...
272
00:09:13,092 --> 00:09:15,717
well, I just wanted
to tell you guys...
273
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,884
- That I am--
- [all] Pregnant!
274
00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:19,467
- [Ruth] Oh! Oh!
- [Spencer] Yes! Oh, my God!
275
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,176
Should you drink?
Well, although, I did smoke
276
00:09:21,258 --> 00:09:22,967
a ton of ganja with you--
I guess it's okay.
277
00:09:23,051 --> 00:09:24,467
No.
278
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:27,467
I'm not pregnant.
I'm partner.
279
00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:29,425
At my firm!
280
00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:31,967
- That's my big news.
- Oh.
281
00:09:32,051 --> 00:09:33,800
Congrats.
That's really...
282
00:09:33,884 --> 00:09:36,258
We're not also pregnant
by chance, are we?
283
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:39,134
No, not pregnant.
Promoted.
284
00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:41,467
And please don't be one
of those guys that says "we."
285
00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:43,508
I just--I don't like it.
286
00:09:43,592 --> 00:09:45,258
Come on, Spence.
Shit or get off the pot.
287
00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:46,884
- I'm trying.
- What?
288
00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:49,967
Wait, Dad, in your analogy,
I'm a toilet?
289
00:09:50,051 --> 00:09:51,467
No, no, I think
what Dad is trying to say...
290
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,800
- That's what he said.
- ...is that...
291
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:57,300
it might be time for us to
focus on more important things.
292
00:09:57,383 --> 00:09:59,425
What's important to me
right now is the career
293
00:09:59,508 --> 00:10:01,717
that I've worked
tooth and nail for.
294
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,675
I mean, seriously,
I-I've lost teeth
295
00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:05,051
and nails doing this job.
296
00:10:05,134 --> 00:10:07,176
Which is the perfect
opportunity for you to quit.
297
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,383
- Your career's gonna--
- It'll be there--
298
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,009
- I make a very healthy living.
- Your career will be waiting
299
00:10:11,092 --> 00:10:12,467
- after you have kids.
- Would the men in this room
300
00:10:12,550 --> 00:10:13,550
just shut the hell up?
301
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:15,092
Until your body can give life,
302
00:10:15,176 --> 00:10:17,092
then you don't get to say
a damn thing about Dawn's.
303
00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:18,508
This is the '80s.
304
00:10:18,592 --> 00:10:20,967
A woman can be
whatever she wants.
305
00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:25,759
I'm happy for you, baby girl.
306
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,800
- [clears throat]
- Oh, yeah.
307
00:10:27,884 --> 00:10:29,884
- Thank you, Mom.
- [Ruth] To you.
308
00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:31,258
[Walter] I'm proud
of you, Dawny.
309
00:10:31,342 --> 00:10:32,884
Mm-mm.
310
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,926
[Mo] Get ready.
311
00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:37,884
This is the hottest
ticket in town.
312
00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:39,842
And we got killer seats.
[crunches]
313
00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:42,425
- Why is she crying?
- [cries softly]
314
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,884
- Oh, she knows how it ends.
- Oh.
315
00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:46,342
What are we seeing?
316
00:10:46,425 --> 00:10:48,425
- Death of a Salesman.
- Oh.
317
00:10:48,508 --> 00:10:50,759
Yeah. You remember when that
door-to-door vacuum salesman--
318
00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:53,258
he crawl-space'd
all those nurses?
319
00:10:56,258 --> 00:10:57,842
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
320
00:10:57,926 --> 00:10:59,217
- More like "thank God."
- [continues crying]
321
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,800
Glass is here, or we get
Shamu'd by all the fluids.
322
00:11:01,884 --> 00:11:04,300
- [buzzer sounds]
- [electricity buzzing]
323
00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:07,675
[inaudible gasp]
324
00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:09,134
[loud pop]
325
00:11:09,217 --> 00:11:10,176
Whoa.
326
00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:14,592
[door creaking]
327
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,759
[exhales deeply]
328
00:11:20,884 --> 00:11:25,425
[laughing] Hey, Sheeshee.
I'm so glad you waited up.
329
00:11:25,508 --> 00:11:28,592
Mm, I'm so glad
you woke me up, Kiki.
330
00:11:28,675 --> 00:11:30,342
You're nervous about tomorrow,
aren't you? [laughs]
331
00:11:30,425 --> 00:11:31,592
- Mm.
- It's gonna be a dream.
332
00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:32,800
- Mm.
- I even picked
333
00:11:32,884 --> 00:11:35,383
the shortest
haftarah portion, okay?
334
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,508
[gasps]
I have a great idea.
335
00:11:37,592 --> 00:11:40,342
Since you're up,
why don't you...
336
00:11:40,425 --> 00:11:44,217
give me a little
signature right here?
337
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,258
Right there.
Yeah, look at that.
338
00:11:46,342 --> 00:11:48,550
Oh, oh, careful, careful.
I got my perm set today, Kiki.
339
00:11:48,634 --> 00:11:50,092
Oh, okay. It looks great.
340
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,759
Yeah, it looks really great.
Okay--
341
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:53,383
What is this I'm signing?
342
00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:57,051
Oh, looks like a document.
I don't know. Boring.
343
00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:00,258
I think if you just sign it,
we'll just be done with it.
344
00:12:00,342 --> 00:12:01,842
Yeah.
345
00:12:01,926 --> 00:12:03,926
Where's the Nintendo?
346
00:12:04,009 --> 00:12:06,675
[pops lips]
Uh, it's at the office.
347
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:07,884
Keeping it safe.
348
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,800
So, you know, if I just get
349
00:12:09,884 --> 00:12:12,717
a little, you know,
"Shira" right here-a--
350
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,009
Or-a, why don't you go
and get that Nintendo,
351
00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:19,300
bring it back, and then
I'll sign this vague paperwork?
352
00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:21,092
I'm just--again,
just thinking out loud...
353
00:12:21,176 --> 00:12:23,051
- Mm-hmm.
- You sign it now.
354
00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:25,926
I get the Nintendo tomorrow
on the way to Beth El.
355
00:12:26,009 --> 00:12:27,300
[snaps fingers]
Two birds with one stone, yeah?
356
00:12:27,383 --> 00:12:29,009
- Or--just spitballing here...
- Okay.
357
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,383
- ...no.
- [smacks lips]
358
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:33,092
Okay. All right.
359
00:12:33,176 --> 00:12:35,051
Well, you seem like
you have a really, uh,
360
00:12:35,134 --> 00:12:37,425
- strong path on this one.
- [both chuckle]
361
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,592
Uh, I will be right back.
362
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,884
- All right.
- And don't you wait up, okay?
363
00:12:42,967 --> 00:12:46,217
Aww.
I'm going shluffy.
364
00:12:50,176 --> 00:12:51,717
I never even open a menu.
365
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,092
I just order the most
expensive shit, you know?
366
00:12:53,176 --> 00:12:55,383
- It keeps it exciting.
- Oh.
367
00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:00,967
[Blair] Oh.
368
00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:03,634
- Looks delicious.
- Doesn't it?
369
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,800
Mm-hmm. It's so fleshy.
370
00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:06,926
[chuckling] Yeah.
371
00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:08,550
Dig in.
372
00:13:08,634 --> 00:13:10,258
Here we go.
373
00:13:10,342 --> 00:13:12,675
- This is so fresh.
- It's the best part.
374
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:15,675
After you, friend.
375
00:13:15,759 --> 00:13:17,634
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
376
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,717
[gags, spits]
377
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,467
- [gags]
- Okay.
378
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,134
- [spitting]
- I'm sorry. I can't do this.
379
00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:30,634
I prefer my ground beef cooked
and with cheese and on a bun.
380
00:13:30,717 --> 00:13:32,467
[gags] I'm from a town
with one restaurant.
381
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,425
This world, it's very
overwhelming to me.
382
00:13:34,508 --> 00:13:35,967
No, I get it.
383
00:13:36,051 --> 00:13:37,675
I'm not really into this
rich shit either, kid.
384
00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:40,176
I mean, I-I kind of grew up
like you, you know?
385
00:13:40,258 --> 00:13:43,092
But instead of one restaurant,
I had no parents.
386
00:13:44,592 --> 00:13:47,176
Hey, what's your favorite
burger joint in the city?
387
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,717
Well, I've been wanting
to try this dive by our place--
388
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,717
uh, uh, Berger's Burgers,
389
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,592
but Tiff's allergic
to fast food, so...
390
00:13:53,675 --> 00:13:55,009
Hang on a minute.
Berger's Burgers?
391
00:13:55,092 --> 00:13:56,342
- Yeah.
- In Alphabet City?
392
00:13:56,425 --> 00:13:57,717
Yeah.
393
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,134
I practically grew up there.
394
00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:01,759
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
395
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,634
You want to go there,
get out of here?
396
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,217
- Uh, yeah.
- [both laugh]
397
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,051
Uh, hey, come throw
this shit in the trash.
398
00:14:09,134 --> 00:14:10,967
I just have
to return my jacket.
399
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,134
No, they tried to poison us.
Fucking keep the thing.
400
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,550
- Hey!
- [sighs]
401
00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:20,800
Okay, ok--
402
00:14:20,884 --> 00:14:22,176
Come on.
Let me in. Here.
403
00:14:22,258 --> 00:14:24,592
Look, look,
Shira and I, we broke up.
404
00:14:24,675 --> 00:14:26,550
It's over, baby.
It's donezo, okay?
405
00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:28,217
I want to be Keith and Mike.
406
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,967
I want to share
everything with you.
407
00:14:30,051 --> 00:14:31,342
A-a place in Chelsea,
a portmanteau.
408
00:14:31,425 --> 00:14:33,009
What do you want to call
ourselves?
409
00:14:33,092 --> 00:14:34,342
You want to call ourselves, uh,
Meith or-or Kike?
410
00:14:34,425 --> 00:14:36,009
- No, no.
- No, no. Meith, Meith.
411
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,717
Look, I want to be
with you, okay?
412
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,675
And I'm gonna tell her tomorrow
after that bar mitzvah.
413
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:40,926
I'm gonna be like,
"Baruch atah,
414
00:14:41,009 --> 00:14:42,800
adiós, baby," okay?
415
00:14:42,884 --> 00:14:44,759
'Cause I love you.
416
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,717
[laughs tearfully]
417
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,258
Come here, you.
418
00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:49,592
both: Mmm!
419
00:14:49,675 --> 00:14:52,383
[laughing]
420
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,217
- I'm shaking.
- [laughing] Yeah, you are.
421
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:55,842
Um, we need to celebrate.
422
00:14:55,926 --> 00:14:57,425
Do you have, uh,
champagne or something?
423
00:14:57,508 --> 00:14:59,134
- Yes, I'll get some.
- All right, great, great.
424
00:14:59,217 --> 00:15:01,258
I'll get some.
[laughing] Oh, God.
425
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:05,383
- [dishes clatter]
- Okay...
426
00:15:05,467 --> 00:15:08,092
- Uh, out of champagne--
- Yeah, sounds great!
427
00:15:08,176 --> 00:15:11,342
♪ dynamic electronic music ♪
428
00:15:11,425 --> 00:15:15,759
♪♪♪
429
00:15:15,842 --> 00:15:19,800
Oh! Fuck! Fuck.
430
00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:21,884
- [Keith panting]
- Keith? Holy shit!
431
00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:24,051
[Keith] Whoa! I'm fine!
I'm fine! [grunts]
432
00:15:24,134 --> 00:15:27,884
[mumbles indistinctly]
I'm fine.
433
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,592
Why are you stealing
my Nintendo?
434
00:15:29,675 --> 00:15:31,926
It's my Nintendo, okay?
I bought this for you.
435
00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:34,051
And now I need it
for my son, okay? So...
436
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,467
If I don't bring it to my son,
Shira's gonna fucking kill me.
437
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:38,092
Don't you want to be happy?
438
00:15:38,176 --> 00:15:40,258
I am happy.
I fucking love my family.
439
00:15:40,342 --> 00:15:41,967
What, do you want me
to leave them for you?
440
00:15:42,051 --> 00:15:44,092
For--for--for sex?
441
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,425
Wow. Just sex?
442
00:15:47,508 --> 00:15:49,342
Okay. Have a good night.
443
00:15:49,425 --> 00:15:50,884
- [Keith] Okay.
- Okay.
444
00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:52,467
- [Keith] Okay.
- Okay!
445
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,926
- Fuck you.
- You know what?
446
00:15:54,009 --> 00:15:55,425
Go blow on the cartridges,
447
00:15:55,508 --> 00:15:56,842
because that
really works, Keith.
448
00:15:56,926 --> 00:15:58,176
Yeah, I'll give you
something to blow on.
449
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,634
- [door slams]
- Oh, fuck! My arm.
450
00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:03,842
♪ jaunty synth music ♪
451
00:16:03,926 --> 00:16:06,258
[Limbo approaching]
452
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:09,383
Ah, there he is.
[laughing] Come here.
453
00:16:09,467 --> 00:16:11,092
Ah. Great to see you.
454
00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:12,634
H-how long's it been?
455
00:16:12,717 --> 00:16:14,342
Weren--weren't you here
the night
456
00:16:14,425 --> 00:16:16,176
- that Dolly Parton was here?
- Yeah, sure.
457
00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:17,342
Yeah! What
a crazy night, right?
458
00:16:17,425 --> 00:16:18,717
Oh, what a night.
459
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,092
Yeah, yeah.
Missed this place.
460
00:16:21,176 --> 00:16:23,092
Can we get two classic
Berger's Burgers, please?
461
00:16:23,176 --> 00:16:24,300
Sure.
462
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:25,926
Let's do this.
463
00:16:26,009 --> 00:16:27,717
Oh, sorry.
No change for this.
464
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,926
Like I've ever wanted change.
Get the fuck out of here.
465
00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:32,425
- [laughter]
- Thanks, pal. Hey.
466
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:34,800
- [Mo] Yeah, no problem.
- Hey, come around.
467
00:16:34,884 --> 00:16:37,092
- We miss you.
- Yeah, good to see you.
468
00:16:37,176 --> 00:16:38,675
You really met Dolly Parton?
469
00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:40,383
Was she with Linda Ronstadt
or Emmylou Harris?
470
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,842
I-I'm a big trio fan.
471
00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:42,800
She was rolling
pretty deep.
472
00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:44,300
- Ah. Wow.
- Yeah.
473
00:16:44,383 --> 00:16:46,051
I mean, of course
I know Dolly Parton.
474
00:16:46,134 --> 00:16:47,884
Who do you think bought
her those cans?
475
00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:49,508
[laughing] I'm joking.
476
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,092
- Oh.
- God did.
477
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,300
Sometimes He does give
with both hands.
478
00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:54,842
Actually, it's
my second-favorite night
479
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:55,967
I've ever spent in here.
480
00:16:56,051 --> 00:16:58,342
W-what was your first?
481
00:16:58,425 --> 00:17:01,342
Uh...
[exhales deeply]
482
00:17:01,425 --> 00:17:04,176
Uh...I grew up in an orphanage
not too far from here--
483
00:17:04,258 --> 00:17:05,675
right around the corner,
actually--
484
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:07,134
and the smell from this place
would just go
485
00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:08,759
all throughout
the neighborhood.
486
00:17:08,842 --> 00:17:12,092
And o--and one day, 1961,
I ran in here.
487
00:17:12,176 --> 00:17:14,009
I grabbed a burger
right off the counter,
488
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:15,967
and I'm thinking, "Oh, man, I'm
gonna finally taste this thing
489
00:17:16,051 --> 00:17:18,383
I've been jacking it
to all my life."
490
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:20,717
But old man Berger,
God rest his soul--
491
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,300
a lot faster than he looked.
492
00:17:22,383 --> 00:17:23,842
- Hmm.
- Caught me.
493
00:17:23,926 --> 00:17:25,508
He didn't, you know,
494
00:17:25,592 --> 00:17:27,092
beat my ass or call the cops
or anything.
495
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,967
He gave me a job.
496
00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:29,884
- What?
- Yeah.
497
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,134
And that night,
498
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,217
after my first hard day of work
499
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,842
throwing out trash and mopping,
sweeping, all of that,
500
00:17:35,926 --> 00:17:37,884
I cooked myself
a burger back there.
501
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,467
- [laughing] And God damn it--
- Best burger of your life?
502
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:43,550
No, undercooked it.
Nearly prolapsed my anus.
503
00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:46,009
But when I got out
of the hospital the next night,
504
00:17:46,092 --> 00:17:48,092
I came back here,
and Bergy cooked me a burger.
505
00:17:48,176 --> 00:17:50,217
- And that motherfucking--
- I'm sorry, you--
506
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,884
you immediately came back
and ate another burger?
507
00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:54,425
The point is, Blair,
it was dope.
508
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,383
Huh.
509
00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:58,300
That's what Tiff doesn't get,
'cause she was born with money.
510
00:17:58,383 --> 00:18:00,009
Oh, yeah,
the whole jeans thing.
511
00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:01,884
Yeah, yeah, and she wants
to use her parents' money
512
00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:03,717
for everything.
513
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,009
- It's so annoying. [sighs]
- Well... [sighs]
514
00:18:06,092 --> 00:18:07,717
Don't throw the whole baby
out with the bathwater.
515
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,217
- Here you go.
- Oh, look at this.
516
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:11,258
- Let's dig in.
- Oh, thanks.
517
00:18:11,342 --> 00:18:13,009
And so Reagan is cutting all
of the funding for the arts.
518
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,342
Ugh. I wish he would've thought
of that
519
00:18:14,425 --> 00:18:15,842
- before his movies.
- [laughter]
520
00:18:15,926 --> 00:18:17,425
I didn't hate the one
with the monkey.
521
00:18:17,508 --> 00:18:19,051
[Dawn] You know, Mom,
now that I'm a partner,
522
00:18:19,134 --> 00:18:20,592
I could talk to the firm
523
00:18:20,675 --> 00:18:22,634
about maybe funding
an endowment opportunity.
524
00:18:22,717 --> 00:18:23,926
Speaking of opportunities,
525
00:18:24,009 --> 00:18:25,634
I actually have one
for you guys.
526
00:18:25,717 --> 00:18:27,092
Maybe make some easy money.
527
00:18:27,176 --> 00:18:29,176
Ooh, my favorite kind.
528
00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:32,759
Mine is the rupee.
It's an Indian currency.
529
00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:36,508
It's a fun word, too--
rupee.
530
00:18:36,592 --> 00:18:38,634
[rolling tongue]
Rupee.
531
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,926
Yeah, well, all you'd have
to do is just hold some shares
532
00:18:41,009 --> 00:18:42,884
for us for a few months,
533
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,009
and then, you know,
when we take them back,
534
00:18:44,092 --> 00:18:45,842
you'd get a nice payday.
535
00:18:45,926 --> 00:18:47,092
Easy-peasy.
536
00:18:47,176 --> 00:18:48,967
Uh, no, thank you, baby.
537
00:18:49,051 --> 00:18:50,592
I don't know, Ruth.
538
00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:52,051
Uh, things are
kind of tight right now.
539
00:18:52,134 --> 00:18:53,967
We don't need
any charity, Walt.
540
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,634
You're about to make tenure,
and as I mentioned,
541
00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:59,217
all my pieces from
my Power Gallery show sold out.
542
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,258
Mom, this isn't charity.
543
00:19:01,342 --> 00:19:02,675
You'd actually be earning
the money.
544
00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:05,092
This helps me,
and it's real money.
545
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:09,051
Real money
is honest money, okay?
546
00:19:09,134 --> 00:19:10,842
[Dawn] I don't get it.
547
00:19:10,926 --> 00:19:12,717
You just said
you were proud of me.
548
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:17,051
No, I said I was happy for you.
Not proud.
549
00:19:17,134 --> 00:19:18,800
What happened
to "this is the '80s,
550
00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:20,383
a woman can be
whatever she wants"?
551
00:19:20,467 --> 00:19:21,884
That's the point.
You can.
552
00:19:21,967 --> 00:19:24,009
So why would you choose
to be a crook?
553
00:19:24,092 --> 00:19:25,217
"Hold shares." Come on.
554
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,383
I'm not dumb,
and neither are you.
555
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,926
You are a brilliant,
thoughtful woman.
556
00:19:31,009 --> 00:19:33,134
Make something besides
just money for yourself.
557
00:19:33,217 --> 00:19:34,675
- Yummy.
- [Ruth] It's not your fault
558
00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:36,258
that we put you in
that private school
559
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,134
with all those rich white kids.
560
00:19:38,217 --> 00:19:40,842
But now you're a--
you're a yuppie.
561
00:19:40,926 --> 00:19:42,675
[Spencer] Mmm.
562
00:19:42,759 --> 00:19:46,258
No, Mom, actually,
I am a buppie.
563
00:19:46,342 --> 00:19:47,842
And you know what?
I'm proud of it.
564
00:19:47,926 --> 00:19:50,717
Because all of our hippie
parents fuck--
565
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,675
Messed everything up.
566
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,717
Why do you think your
neighborhood is so bad now?
567
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,717
Hmm? Money is the answer.
568
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,634
Not protesting
or painting porn.
569
00:20:00,717 --> 00:20:03,134
Dawn, don't bring
your mother's porno into this.
570
00:20:03,217 --> 00:20:05,717
I think it's tasteful
and arousing.
571
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,176
Baby, why don't you
just calm down?
572
00:20:07,258 --> 00:20:09,176
Don't tell me what to do.
573
00:20:09,258 --> 00:20:11,467
And you're drunk, and you have
surgery in the morning!
574
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:12,884
You know what?
I can do what I want.
575
00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:15,467
And if I want to be
a barren robber baron,
576
00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:17,467
then so be it.
577
00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:23,592
Most of the time,
I just walk around that office
578
00:20:23,675 --> 00:20:25,467
feeling like
one of the chickens
579
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,092
my dad used to make me
cut the head off of.
580
00:20:27,176 --> 00:20:28,508
Oh, my God,
how many dad stories
581
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:30,217
are we gonna have
to listen to?
582
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:31,967
- Oh, I'm sorry, I have a dad.
- [both laugh]
583
00:20:32,051 --> 00:20:34,592
- And you don't.
- [both laughing]
584
00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:36,383
But seriously,
how do you guys get it done?
585
00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:38,134
I just don't feel like there's
enough hours in the day.
586
00:20:38,217 --> 00:20:39,300
Cocaine.
587
00:20:39,383 --> 00:20:41,884
[laughs]
588
00:20:41,967 --> 00:20:45,300
[chuckling]
I'm dead serious.
589
00:20:45,383 --> 00:20:48,508
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, watch and learn.
590
00:20:50,051 --> 00:20:52,717
[snorting]
591
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,092
[hoarsely] Ta-da.
[sniffs]
592
00:20:55,842 --> 00:20:57,967
- Should I try some?
- I don't think so.
593
00:20:58,051 --> 00:20:59,425
[both laugh]
594
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,634
No, you don't want
to do this.
595
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:02,217
You can't handle this.
Forget it.
596
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:05,550
Uh, you don't know
what I can handle.
597
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,051
Okay.
598
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:11,800
[easy music playing
over speaker]
599
00:21:11,884 --> 00:21:13,342
Okay.
600
00:21:13,425 --> 00:21:16,134
♪♪♪
601
00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:20,383
[snorting]
602
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,092
I feel more successful already.
603
00:21:22,176 --> 00:21:24,467
- [both laugh]
- You little coke whore.
604
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,508
- Scarface!
- [both laugh]
605
00:21:26,592 --> 00:21:29,508
♪♪♪
606
00:21:29,592 --> 00:21:30,967
Okay, Bobby, boy.
607
00:21:31,051 --> 00:21:32,717
Say hello to Vanessa,
the family...
608
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,258
- Thanks!
- [Chip chuckles]
609
00:21:34,342 --> 00:21:36,675
- And off we go.
- [Chip] Thank you.
610
00:21:36,759 --> 00:21:38,634
- [Mo] After you.
- [Chip] Have a good day.
611
00:21:38,717 --> 00:21:40,009
[Mo] Yeah, you too.
612
00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:42,884
Who's Bobby?
And who's Vanessa?
613
00:21:42,967 --> 00:21:44,467
Who cares?
614
00:21:44,550 --> 00:21:45,967
♪ Tears for Fears' "Shout" ♪
615
00:21:46,051 --> 00:21:47,258
♪ dark electronic music ♪
616
00:21:47,342 --> 00:21:48,550
[Chip chuckles]
617
00:21:48,634 --> 00:21:51,051
♪ Shout, shout ♪
618
00:21:51,134 --> 00:21:53,508
♪ Let it all out ♪
619
00:21:53,592 --> 00:21:57,675
♪ These are the things
I can do without ♪
620
00:21:57,759 --> 00:22:00,009
♪ Come on ♪
621
00:22:00,092 --> 00:22:02,508
♪ I'm talking to you ♪
622
00:22:02,592 --> 00:22:04,425
♪ Come on ♪
623
00:22:04,508 --> 00:22:08,051
♪♪♪
624
00:22:08,134 --> 00:22:10,300
♪ Shout, shout ♪
625
00:22:10,383 --> 00:22:12,926
♪ Let it all out ♪
626
00:22:13,009 --> 00:22:17,134
♪ These are the things
I can do without ♪
627
00:22:17,217 --> 00:22:19,842
♪ Come on ♪
628
00:22:19,926 --> 00:22:22,009
♪ I'm talking to you ♪
629
00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:22,926
♪ Come on ♪
630
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:26,550
♪♪♪
631
00:22:26,634 --> 00:22:31,258
♪ In violent times ♪
632
00:22:31,342 --> 00:22:36,258
♪ You shouldn't have
to sell your soul ♪
633
00:22:36,342 --> 00:22:41,217
♪ In black and white ♪
634
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:46,258
♪ They really,
really ought to know ♪
635
00:22:46,342 --> 00:22:49,592
♪ Those one-track minds ♪
636
00:22:49,675 --> 00:22:51,425
♪♪♪
637
00:22:51,508 --> 00:22:54,759
♪ That took you
for a working boy ♪
638
00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:56,425
♪♪♪
639
00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:58,967
♪ Kiss them good-bye ♪
640
00:22:59,051 --> 00:23:00,717
- [song continues on car radio]
- [engine rumbling]
641
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,717
♪ You shouldn't have
to jump for joy ♪
642
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,217
- [music stops]
- [Blair groans]
643
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:10,342
[Blair] Oh, God.
644
00:23:10,425 --> 00:23:12,258
- Oh.
- [bottles clink]
645
00:23:12,342 --> 00:23:16,051
The moon is so much brighter
when you're on cocaine.
646
00:23:16,134 --> 00:23:17,926
Yeah, that's the sun, Blair.
647
00:23:18,009 --> 00:23:20,508
[laughs]
648
00:23:20,592 --> 00:23:22,508
Okay, well,
I'm late for Jew church.
649
00:23:22,592 --> 00:23:24,134
Why don't you try
to get some rest?
650
00:23:24,217 --> 00:23:25,717
Thank you. Thank you.
That was--that was a great--
651
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,425
that was a great night.
652
00:23:27,508 --> 00:23:28,759
- Yeah, it was a great night.
- Yeah, yeah.
653
00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:31,051
- Okay.
- Oh, um, uh...
654
00:23:31,134 --> 00:23:33,051
may--may I have
a promotion, please?
655
00:23:33,134 --> 00:23:35,009
Um, uh,
for the following reasons--
656
00:23:35,092 --> 00:23:36,884
One, I'm a very hard worker.
B, the algorithm, at this--
657
00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:39,717
You know what?
Yeah.
658
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,926
Why not? I dub thee promoted.
Fuck it.
659
00:23:42,009 --> 00:23:44,634
Yeah?
660
00:23:44,717 --> 00:23:46,383
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah.
661
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:47,884
- Thank you.
- Yeah. You have a good night.
662
00:23:47,967 --> 00:23:50,467
- Yeah, you too, you too.
- Oh, hey, wait a minute.
663
00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:51,884
I forgot.
I got to give this to you.
664
00:23:54,508 --> 00:23:56,592
All right, take it easy.
665
00:23:56,675 --> 00:23:59,300
♪ Shout, let it all out ♪
666
00:23:59,383 --> 00:24:02,675
[engine rumbles, Limbo departs]
667
00:24:02,759 --> 00:24:04,926
Tiff, have you ever had sex
with a guy
668
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:06,800
with a huge promoti--
669
00:24:10,092 --> 00:24:11,550
What?
670
00:24:12,926 --> 00:24:14,134
[door opens]
671
00:24:14,217 --> 00:24:16,134
What the fuck did you do?
672
00:24:16,217 --> 00:24:19,383
Before you spaz out,
check out...
673
00:24:19,467 --> 00:24:21,425
how cool this is.
674
00:24:21,508 --> 00:24:23,634
Ah!
675
00:24:23,717 --> 00:24:25,134
- [compactor whirs]
- We talked about this.
676
00:24:25,217 --> 00:24:26,800
You know how it makes me feel
677
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:29,217
when you--y-y-you take things
from your parents
678
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:30,967
that I should be providing.
679
00:24:31,051 --> 00:24:32,217
- I asked you to not--
- You know what? No.
680
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:33,842
- I am so done.
- Take my dick
681
00:24:33,926 --> 00:24:35,884
and put it
in the trash compactor.
682
00:24:35,967 --> 00:24:37,467
- That's what you want to do--
- Cannot hear you.
683
00:24:37,550 --> 00:24:39,383
Just call your parents
and have them come over.
684
00:24:39,467 --> 00:24:41,134
Make your dad come over.
685
00:24:41,217 --> 00:24:43,051
He can take my dick and put it
in the trash compactor.
686
00:24:43,134 --> 00:24:45,550
You know what? Stop being such
a puss 'cause my dad has money.
687
00:24:45,634 --> 00:24:47,634
You know what? Fuck your dad.
688
00:24:47,717 --> 00:24:49,258
I would rather fuck my father!
689
00:24:49,342 --> 00:24:51,300
- No shit!
- My mom, too.
690
00:24:51,383 --> 00:24:53,300
She could finger me
with more gusto!
691
00:24:53,383 --> 00:24:56,967
Great! All the fingers in the
world aren't gonna satisfy you!
692
00:24:57,051 --> 00:25:01,926
[Brad reading haftarah
melodically]
693
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,842
- [reading continues]
- [crowd gasps]
694
00:25:07,926 --> 00:25:09,800
- [Keith shouts]
- [Brad stops reading]
695
00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:12,134
Way to go, Brad.
Looking great.
696
00:25:12,217 --> 00:25:14,258
- [Brad continues]
- Where you been, Kookoo?
697
00:25:14,342 --> 00:25:16,508
[quietly] Just getting
the Nintendo, Shushu...
698
00:25:16,592 --> 00:25:18,258
from the office.
699
00:25:18,342 --> 00:25:19,884
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe we can, you know,
700
00:25:19,967 --> 00:25:22,134
sign these papers?
701
00:25:22,217 --> 00:25:23,800
[whispering]
You listen to me, Keith.
702
00:25:23,884 --> 00:25:25,300
You're going to prison.
703
00:25:25,383 --> 00:25:27,884
Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow,
704
00:25:27,967 --> 00:25:30,842
but someday, and probably
for the rest of your life.
705
00:25:30,926 --> 00:25:32,842
And I'm not gonna allow you
to take me
706
00:25:32,926 --> 00:25:34,217
and our beautiful family
down with you.
707
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:35,926
Eat shit!
708
00:25:36,009 --> 00:25:37,717
Sorry. [chuckles]
Great job there.
709
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,926
[laughs]
We're so proud of you.
710
00:25:39,009 --> 00:25:40,717
Mommy and Daddy
love you so much.
711
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,926
- Love you so much. So much.
- So much.
712
00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:45,675
[upbeat dance music playing
over speakers]
713
00:25:45,759 --> 00:25:47,634
♪♪♪
714
00:25:47,717 --> 00:25:48,842
Dad.
715
00:25:48,926 --> 00:25:51,176
Hey, look who it is.
The big man.
716
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:54,092
Doc Gooden's been in the
bathroom for, like, 45 minutes!
717
00:25:54,176 --> 00:25:56,009
- [sighs]
- Is Mr. Met gonna make it?
718
00:25:56,092 --> 00:25:58,051
- I told everyone he'd be here.
- Well, guess what.
719
00:25:58,134 --> 00:26:00,092
Tell your friends they got
to be disappointed, okay?
720
00:26:00,176 --> 00:26:02,800
'Cause Mr. Met ain't coming.
721
00:26:02,884 --> 00:26:07,425
[DJ] Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing Mr. Met!
722
00:26:07,508 --> 00:26:10,342
[energetic music plays]
723
00:26:10,425 --> 00:26:12,884
♪♪♪
724
00:26:12,967 --> 00:26:14,675
He came.
725
00:26:14,759 --> 00:26:16,634
He came!
[laughs]
726
00:26:16,717 --> 00:26:18,675
I'd know those legs anywhere.
727
00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:20,634
[Brad] That's
a weird thing to say.
728
00:26:20,717 --> 00:26:22,342
Isn't his giant baseball head
kind of his calling card?
729
00:26:22,425 --> 00:26:23,967
Yeah, shh, shh, shh.
730
00:26:24,051 --> 00:26:26,342
♪ I only wanted
someone... ♪
731
00:26:26,425 --> 00:26:28,842
Looking good, Mr. Met!
Whoo!
732
00:26:30,217 --> 00:26:31,134
[Keith] Hey.
733
00:26:31,217 --> 00:26:32,926
Hey!
734
00:26:33,009 --> 00:26:36,508
Uh...great job out there.
735
00:26:37,926 --> 00:26:39,884
Thanks for coming.
736
00:26:42,176 --> 00:26:43,842
Look, want to know
the real reason
737
00:26:43,926 --> 00:26:46,508
why I didn't let you
park those shares?
738
00:26:46,592 --> 00:26:49,550
Because
if something goes bad,
739
00:26:49,634 --> 00:26:52,926
you are the only person
in my life
740
00:26:53,009 --> 00:26:55,508
that I can't live without.
741
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,550
Can you maybe
take off the head?
742
00:27:01,634 --> 00:27:05,342
'Cause I cannot gauge
how any of this is landing.
743
00:27:05,425 --> 00:27:08,383
♪ sweet music ♪
744
00:27:08,467 --> 00:27:10,134
♪♪♪
745
00:27:10,217 --> 00:27:12,009
[breathes deeply]
746
00:27:12,092 --> 00:27:15,675
If Shira won't take
those shares, I will.
747
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:17,550
No. Why?
748
00:27:17,634 --> 00:27:19,300
'Cause I would like to make
enough money so I don't
749
00:27:19,383 --> 00:27:21,425
have to prance around
for a bunch of spoiled brats
750
00:27:21,508 --> 00:27:24,134
in an off-brand Señor Met
costume I got in Chinatown
751
00:27:24,217 --> 00:27:26,425
'cause you couldn't get
the real one to show up.
752
00:27:26,508 --> 00:27:27,967
Come here, you.
753
00:27:28,051 --> 00:27:30,176
Uh, blessed day.
754
00:27:30,258 --> 00:27:32,508
- [sniffles]
- Uh...
755
00:27:32,592 --> 00:27:37,717
♪♪♪
756
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,342
All right,
go and enjoy the party.
757
00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:45,258
♪♪♪
758
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,800
Oh! A board game.
759
00:27:53,884 --> 00:27:55,884
Okay, that's gonna pay
for college. Thank you.
760
00:27:55,967 --> 00:27:57,800
Your cousins are
a bunch of schnorrers.
761
00:27:57,884 --> 00:27:59,926
Thank you. Thank you.
Very sweet.
762
00:28:00,009 --> 00:28:02,092
You guys get rid
of your shares?
763
00:28:02,176 --> 00:28:04,300
Yep. Could not have been
a simpler process.
764
00:28:04,383 --> 00:28:05,675
Totally remembered to do that.
765
00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,467
Who'd you go with?
766
00:28:07,550 --> 00:28:10,258
[scattered applause]
767
00:28:10,342 --> 00:28:13,258
[upbeat synth music playing
over speakers]
768
00:28:13,342 --> 00:28:15,508
♪♪♪
769
00:28:15,592 --> 00:28:17,092
[Brad]
What's this?
770
00:28:17,176 --> 00:28:19,092
[guests exclaim]
771
00:28:19,176 --> 00:28:21,258
[laughs]
772
00:28:21,342 --> 00:28:22,926
- That's my kid.
- I know.
773
00:28:23,009 --> 00:28:24,592
- Mazel titties.
- [laughs]
774
00:28:24,675 --> 00:28:27,592
- [both mouthing words]
- [Blair] Excuse me. Hey.
775
00:28:27,675 --> 00:28:29,051
Hey, Mo.
Hey, guys.
776
00:28:29,134 --> 00:28:30,634
Um, so I came here
to tell you two things.
777
00:28:30,717 --> 00:28:32,176
[snorts] One--
778
00:28:32,258 --> 00:28:33,967
and this might be
the cocaine talking,
779
00:28:34,051 --> 00:28:35,926
but can we get
some more cocaine?
780
00:28:36,009 --> 00:28:37,800
- [laughs]
- And two...
781
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:40,092
[sniffs deeply]
...I broke up with Tiff.
782
00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,508
[indistinct chatter]
783
00:28:42,592 --> 00:28:45,134
I broke up with Tiff!
784
00:28:45,217 --> 00:28:47,300
Is this a child wedding?
785
00:28:47,383 --> 00:28:50,300
♪ instrumental version
of "Hava Nagila" ♪
786
00:28:50,383 --> 00:28:55,258
♪♪♪
787
00:28:55,308 --> 00:28:59,858
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