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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:07,330
♪♪
2
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:13,170
♪♪
3
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:16,500
[ Alarm blares ]
4
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,670
Everybody up!
5
00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:18,670
[ Whines ]
6
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:21,710
♪♪
7
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:25,120
Get up, Oliver.
Go away.
8
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:29,040
♪♪
9
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,120
I'm up! I'm up!
10
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,290
I said I'm up!
11
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:33,540
Are you crazy?
12
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,540
Yes.
13
00:00:34,540 --> 00:00:35,880
♪♪
14
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:36,920
Taylor, get up.
15
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:42,420
♪♪
16
00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:43,540
[ Whistles ]
17
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:45,880
♪♪
18
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,040
Ohh! Ugh, gross!
19
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,540
Are you
out of your mind?!
20
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:50,540
Yes.
21
00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:51,710
♪♪
22
00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:53,710
Hi, Mom!
Aaaah!
23
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,210
Good God, Anna-Kat.
24
00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:57,380
Every day I know it's coming,
and every day it scares me.
25
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:59,210
[ Pounding on door ]
Hurry up!
26
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:01,620
I just got in here!
You have got two minutes,
27
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:02,920
or I'm sending the kids
in here
28
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,960
to brush their teeth
whether you're done or not.
29
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,080
Doctor Kelman said
it's not good to push!
30
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,080
Where is everyone?
We're gonna be late!
31
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,750
Go go go!
32
00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:14,500
You know, if we just woke up
30 minutes earlier,
33
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:15,750
we wouldn't be so rushed,
and you wouldn't have to
34
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:17,960
bark orders at everyone.
The kids need their sleep.
35
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,120
Not at the expense
of our sanity.
36
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,790
Yes, at the expense
of our sanity.
37
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,790
Besides, the Otto family
works best under pressure.
38
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,460
Agree to disagree.
You see, in a democracy --
39
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:25,790
Ah, no time
for loser talk.
40
00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:27,460
Go go go!
41
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:30,460
♪♪
42
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:40,420
♪♪
43
00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:41,620
Guess what, Mrs. Otto --
44
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,620
you are now looking
at the two leads
45
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,620
of the Westport Unified's
production
46
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:46,790
of "Little Shop of Horrors."
47
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:50,790
Oh, my God, honey,
that is awesome!
48
00:01:50,790 --> 00:01:52,880
But weren't you just
the understudy for Audrey?
49
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,380
I was, but then Julie Linder
had a mental breakdown
50
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:56,380
from all the pressure...
Mm-hmm.
51
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,540
...so she spray-painted
dirty words
52
00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,120
on the drama teacher's car!
Eee!
53
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,380
With the spotlight comes
no shortage of responsibility.
54
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:04,290
[ Chuckles ]
Some people just can't hack it.
55
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,620
Are you popular at school?
56
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:09,790
I can't tell.
57
00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:11,170
♪♪
58
00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:15,290
[ Crinkling ]
59
00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:18,290
And now we witness the weirdo
in her natural habitat.
60
00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:20,790
A radio show is having
a name-that-sound contest.
61
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:22,620
I'm trying to figure out
what it is.
62
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,460
The 20th caller
gets to guess.
63
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:26,170
I've been calling
and calling
64
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:27,500
and can't get through.
65
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,500
I could really use
an extra pair of hands.
66
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,170
What do you win?
500 bucks.
67
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:32,170
Play the noise.
68
00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:37,500
[ Crinkly-crackly noise ]
69
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,500
I'm in.
50/50.
70
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,330
Don't try any of that
70/30 crap with me.
71
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,670
I know how to count.
I'm not Taylor.
72
00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:47,330
♪♪
73
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:48,330
Shu-wa.
74
00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:50,170
Mm, a little higher.
75
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,250
[ High-pitched voice ]
Shu-wa.
76
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,330
Now add a lisp.
77
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:56,170
[ Lisping ] Shu-wa.
Perfect!
78
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:57,830
Tax season has begun!
79
00:02:57,830 --> 00:02:59,170
Oh, no.
80
00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:00,500
[ Normal voice ]
Why is Dad always so excited
81
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,880
about doing taxes?
82
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,170
Aren't people
supposed to hate it?
83
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,330
Your father was never
an athlete,
84
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:05,420
so this is his thing.
85
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,580
In high school,
they're called mathaletes.
86
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,710
You don't know any because
they don't have any friends.
87
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,460
This year, I wrote a book
about John Stuart Mill,
88
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,120
so my subscription to
"Philosopher's Illustrated"
89
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,710
goes down as a deductio-o-o-o-n!
90
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,960
How's my little
joint filer?
91
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,290
Huh?
This year, you have a job,
92
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,880
so you get to join in
on the fun. Enjoy.
93
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,880
Actually, since I have been
working this year,
94
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,540
we have a little extra money
lying around...
95
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:34,920
Why don't we hire an accountant
to do our taxes?
96
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,040
Never!
97
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,210
Now, I'm gonna need
all your work receipts,
98
00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,250
your entire work calendar,
your mileage reports --
99
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,580
Mileage reports?
Greg, I don't have any of those.
100
00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:43,620
Can't you just
ballpark it?
101
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,620
[ Laughing ]
Ballpark it.
102
00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:48,750
Honey!
You're a riot!
103
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,080
[ Laughing ]
104
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,250
Ballpark it.
105
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:53,750
♪♪
106
00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,750
The way Greg does our taxes
107
00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:58,750
is one of those things about him
that just drives me crazy.
108
00:03:58,750 --> 00:03:59,920
Ohh, I get it.
109
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,960
Richard has those things
I cannot stand. Mm.
110
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,290
Like the way he eats,
the way he walks, oh!
111
00:04:04,290 --> 00:04:05,790
And the way he breathes!
112
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,920
I am so mean to him.
113
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,580
That's something I don't miss
about being married --
114
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:11,580
having to tolerate the things
about your spouse
115
00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,080
that annoy the crap
out of you.
116
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,290
Every time I cheated
on Celeste,
117
00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:16,120
she just wanted to talk about it
and talk about it
118
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,460
and talk about it.
I'm telling you.
119
00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:19,620
His process
is already the worst,
120
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,620
but this year he's roping me
into it.
121
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,460
Well, you've been letting it
go on for 18 years,
122
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:25,750
so you either accept
the situation or correct it.
123
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,750
Hey, you gave me that
same advice when I asked you
124
00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:29,170
what to do about
my weird boob.
125
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:31,670
Well, it works for
a lot of different situations.
126
00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:35,290
♪♪
127
00:04:35,290 --> 00:04:36,620
Taylor.
128
00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:39,290
Trip, I thought I told you
I didn't want to talk to you.
129
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:41,620
Taylor, listen.
Julie Linder is my friend,
130
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:44,790
and she told me that she didn't
vandalize Mrs. Gavin's car.
131
00:04:44,790 --> 00:04:45,960
And your point is?
132
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,210
If Julie didn't do it,
then someone else did.
133
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,620
Someone with a motive?
134
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:53,790
To get her
out of the musical?
135
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,120
So you could
get the lead?
136
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,460
Are you figuring
this out on your own,
137
00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:58,790
or do you need my help?
138
00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:01,330
Taylor, I think it was Pierce.
Here we go again.
139
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:04,330
All you do is accuse Pierce
of being manipulative and awful,
140
00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:06,170
but he's been nothing
but supportive of me.
141
00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:07,330
Taylor,
you gotta trust me.
142
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,120
This guy is not
who you think he is.
143
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,790
You know who I don't think
is the guy I think
144
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:13,500
I thought he was?
I'm not gonna lie to you.
145
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,000
I do very poorly
on word problems.
146
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000
It's in my chart.
You, Trip.
147
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,380
You are not
who I thought you were.
148
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:22,380
You think I'm not
who you thought I was?
149
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:26,380
I think you think
I thought you thought...
150
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:28,830
Nope, I lost it.
151
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,540
♪♪
152
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:32,880
[ Beeping, speed-dialing ]
Okay, so if either of us get through
153
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,710
and we're caller 20, we're
guessing bacon frying, right?
154
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,080
I still think it's someone
unfolding a tin foil ball.
155
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,420
Tin foil ball? No.
156
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,500
Anna-Kat, we're just gonna do
what I say.
157
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,500
Hey, I don't have to
listen to you.
158
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,830
I'm outta the car seat,
buddy.
159
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,830
I've been facing forward
for years.
160
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,540
[ Ringing ]
161
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,670
[ Click ]
DJ: Hello, you're caller 20 and you're on the air!
162
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:52,580
Oh, my God, you got through.
Give me the phone.
163
00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:53,920
I'm not giving you
the phone.
164
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,120
Anna-Kat,
I'm not fooling around.
165
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,080
What's your name?
Anna-Kat.
166
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,250
Okay, Anna-Kat,
what's that noise?
167
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:02,540
[ Crinkly-crackly noise ]
168
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,290
Someone unfolding
a tin foil ball.
169
00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:06,790
Sorry, that's not it!
170
00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:08,120
[ Buzzer ]
Man: You're a loser.
171
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,620
That's it.
I'm doing it on my own.
172
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,620
I'm dropping you.
Hey, I brought you into this,
173
00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:14,790
and you're turning on me?
174
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,120
Fine. You know
what this sound is?
175
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,790
[ Imitates sobbing ]
176
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,960
That's you after
I win that 500 bucks
177
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,290
and hire someone
to punch you in the mouth.
178
00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:31,120
♪♪
179
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,460
[ Alarm blares ]
180
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,620
Everybody up!
181
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:38,290
♪♪
182
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,670
All right, people, let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!
183
00:06:40,670 --> 00:06:43,250
Greg!
184
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,920
I just remembered
that I have an early meeting,
185
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,920
so I need you to take
the kids to school today.
186
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,420
You know, this kind
of new information
187
00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:49,620
would be much easier
to process
188
00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,080
if we weren't
so rushed in the morning.
189
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,670
Duly noted, duly ignored.
190
00:06:52,670 --> 00:06:54,330
I still need your W-2s.
191
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,170
Daddy's gonna file
early this year.
192
00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:57,330
[ High-pitched voice ]
Sping-bada-doo!
193
00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,000
[ Birds chirping ]
194
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,580
♪♪
195
00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:04,920
[ Clicking ]
196
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,580
♪♪
197
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,620
Mrs. Otto?
198
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:10,250
As instructed,
I came to the back door.
199
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:13,080
Come in before my husband
sees us together.
200
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,750
Lady, I don't know
what you're expecting here,
201
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,250
but I make love
to one woman --
202
00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,710
Ms. Shirley Glickman
of Avon, Connecticut.
203
00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:21,500
Mother to my four children --
Abe, Noah --
204
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,380
Bernie, you are just here
to do our taxes.
205
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:26,000
I'm sorry
I lost my temper.
206
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,000
♪♪
207
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:32,880
Oh.
208
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,540
Good news, honey.
Mm-hmm.
209
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:35,960
This receipt from dinner?
210
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,620
I remember we discussed
a party you were planning,
211
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,790
so this comes off
your taxes.
212
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:42,380
It's up, annnnnnd
it's good for four points!
213
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:45,290
There is literally no sport
where you can score four points.
214
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,460
Hmm.
I have some good news, too.
215
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:48,790
Oh.
216
00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,040
What's this?
217
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,380
Our finished taxes.
218
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,710
How could our taxes
be finished?
219
00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:55,120
I still have more than
three weeks to go.
220
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,120
I know.
221
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,790
That's why
I had an accountant
222
00:07:57,790 --> 00:07:59,460
come by today
and do everything.
223
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:01,830
Now they're all done.
Hold on.
224
00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:04,080
You let another man
into my QuickBooks?
225
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,210
The way that you do taxes
226
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:07,040
makes me want to walk into
a gas-station bathroom
227
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,170
and lick everything inside
228
00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:09,880
until my immune system
falls apart.
229
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,330
I had no idea how much
it bothered you.
230
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:15,040
It's been a huge problem
in our marriage, so I fixed it.
231
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,170
Let me get this straight.
232
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,670
You didn't like the way
I did something,
233
00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:19,170
so you just took the liberty
of changing it?
234
00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:20,250
Yep. Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,080
So 18 years
into this marriage,
236
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,670
it's now okay to fix problems
with one another.
237
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,750
Seems that way.
238
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:29,040
Good...to...know.
239
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:33,040
♪♪
240
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,580
[ Alarm blares ]
[ Gasps ]
241
00:08:36,330 --> 00:08:39,380
Why is the alarm
going off at 6:30?
242
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:42,960
I was thinking
about what you said,
243
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,120
and I've always hated
the way that you rush us
244
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,290
out of the house
in the morning, so I decided...
245
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,460
Mm-hmm.
...to set the alarm 30 minutes earlier.
246
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:52,290
Oh, you did, did you?
Yep.
247
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,120
Now everyone
can get ready at a slower pace
248
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,460
without all your yelling.
249
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:58,040
Just fixing
a huge marital problem.
250
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,620
Huh.
251
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:05,120
So I guess it's on.
252
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,620
♪♪
253
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,290
Isn't this nice?
254
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,380
I'm so tired.
255
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,880
See, Greg?
You got them up too early,
256
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,210
and now they're tired.
257
00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:16,040
Although it is nice not
frenching my dog in the morning.
258
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,290
You see?
It's nice not to be rushed.
259
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,120
Also on the list of things
that are nice --
260
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,620
not having to brush your teeth
while Dad's on the can.
261
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:23,960
Actually,
I'm gonna miss that part.
262
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,250
Every once in a while
we stumbled into a nice chat.
263
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,580
♪♪
264
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,620
Opening night tonight.
You ready?
265
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,500
As long as I'm up there
with you, I'll be fine.
266
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:34,920
[ Giggles ]
267
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:37,790
[ Exhales sharply ]
268
00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:39,460
Taylor's looking
pretty cute today.
269
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,290
Eric:
I gotta hand it to you.
270
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,080
Right?
The plan's totally working.
271
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,750
Yeah,
she never even wondered
272
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,080
how she went from Plant Bud #3
to the lead.
273
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,960
[ Rustling ]
274
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,000
Dude, mastermind.
275
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,250
It took some work getting rid
of that dumb boyfriend of hers.
276
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,460
[ Hushed gasp ]
277
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,120
Yeah, but spray-painting
Mrs. Gavin's car
278
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,120
and then hiding the cans
in Julie's locker
279
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,500
to get Taylor the lead --
genius.
280
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,330
And after tonight,
she'll owe me everything.
281
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,500
And then
it's just a matter of time
282
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,170
before I get a piece of that.
-Yeah.
283
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:06,880
[ Chuckles ]
284
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,040
♪♪
285
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,880
[ Beeping, speed-dialing ]
I'm gonna get through and guess "bacon frying,"
286
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,880
and then I'm gonna buy
a high-yield municipal bond,
287
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,830
and you're just gonna
have to watch it mature.
288
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:17,170
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna get
through, and I'm go--
289
00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:19,330
DJ: Hello, you're caller 20,
and you're on the air!
290
00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:20,500
Woman:
Phil, I got through!
291
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,500
Damn it!
292
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,000
What's that noise?
293
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,170
[ Crinkly-crackly noise ]
294
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:26,000
Is it bacon frying?
295
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
Told you.
296
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,670
That is...not it!
297
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:29,670
[ Buzzer ]
[ Groans ]
298
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,500
Man: You're a loser.
Loser!
299
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,120
Here's what's
gonna happen now.
300
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,620
I'm gonna figure out
that noise before you do,
301
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:39,290
and I'm gonna put all the money
into orange juice futures.
302
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,330
That's so irresponsible!
303
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:41,830
They're projecting
a rough winter!
304
00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:43,290
I know.
305
00:10:43,290 --> 00:10:45,120
♪♪
306
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,460
[ Rattling ]
307
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:51,000
♪♪
308
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,170
Trip.
309
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,670
Wait.
310
00:10:57,670 --> 00:10:58,880
What do you want,
Taylor?
311
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,500
You were right
about Pierce.
312
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,000
He broke us up,
and then he framed Julie
313
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,040
so I'd get the lead.
314
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,330
Okay.
315
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,000
I feel so bad for her.
316
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,670
I'm gonna give her back
the part.
317
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,830
It's too late.
She's already gone.
318
00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:14,000
What?
319
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,250
Is she...dead?
320
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,250
No.
She's in the Bahamas.
321
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:19,920
She was so bummed
by what happened
322
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,330
that her parents
took her on vacation.
323
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,830
Oh.
324
00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:26,670
This whole time, you knew
Pierce was up to no good,
325
00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:29,620
and I didn't believe you.
326
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:30,750
I'm sorry.
327
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:34,420
Okay.
328
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,750
[ Sighs ]
329
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,540
How do I make this
up to you?
330
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,790
You can't.
331
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:43,380
After what we had together, you
chose to trust him and not me.
332
00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:47,380
You're not who
I thought you were.
333
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,540
Yeah, that was right.
334
00:11:50,540 --> 00:12:00,620
♪♪
335
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:05,460
[ Loud crinkling ]
336
00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:06,920
Is that really necessary?
337
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,290
I don't have the time to explain
to you how necessary this is.
338
00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:12,120
Oh!
339
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,330
I've been thinking.
340
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:18,670
Since we decided to fix
the way others do things,
341
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:20,500
I want to point
some stuff out to you.
342
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,420
Gotta be honest --
not looking forward to this.
343
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:24,290
Mm.
344
00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:27,290
Look, the last tissue.
345
00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:28,620
Well, you know the rule --
you take the last one,
346
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:29,620
you replace the box.
347
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,790
I know the rule.
I made the rule.
348
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,460
I can also tell
when a clean tissue
349
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,620
has been taken out of the box
and then re-tucked
350
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,460
just so someone doesn't
have to go to the basement
351
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:38,750
and get a new one.
352
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,960
You do it all the time,
and it drives me crazy.
353
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,500
Copy that.
Now it's my turn.
354
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,830
Your turn to apologize?
355
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,620
Uh, no.
356
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:49,460
You always leave
half-finished glasses of water
357
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:50,580
all around the house.
358
00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:52,120
Why can't you just
pick one glass
359
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,120
and drink it
to completion?
360
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,120
That's the best you've got?
361
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,790
You never screw the cap
on anything properly.
362
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:02,290
There's literally no carbonation
in a world with you in it.
363
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:03,500
Mind if we get back
to my list?
364
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,460
I've got a bunch, so I'm
just gonna rattle them off.
365
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,290
You want to go lightning round?
I can go lightning round.
366
00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:09,960
You scream out "this is my jam"
to no less than 300 songs.
367
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,790
The way that you shake hands
with babies
368
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,620
and say, "How do you do, sir?"
The way you use the door compartment
369
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:14,960
in the car
as a trash can.
370
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,960
The way that you do big
romantic gestures.
371
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:17,960
You're the only woman alive
who doesn't like
372
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,210
big romantic gestures!
373
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:21,540
Because I have to watch
every word that I say.
374
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:23,540
One time I mention red Skittles
are my favorite,
375
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,620
and I come home to a bathtub
filled with them!
376
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:26,790
It feels good
to get this stuff out!
377
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,120
Yeah, who knew
there was so much
378
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,620
that we find annoying
about each other?
379
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:31,620
Well, I'm glad we're discovering
it 18 years into our marriage!
380
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,170
[ Clattering ]
381
00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:36,330
What was that sound?
I knocked over the macaroni.
382
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:39,170
[ Bag crinkles ]
383
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:41,170
[ Macaroni clattering ]
384
00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:47,000
That's not it.
385
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,040
[ Both exhale sharply ]
386
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,830
♪♪
387
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:59,330
♪♪
388
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,580
What are you doing here?
Tonight's the big night.
389
00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:06,080
Shouldn't you be rehearsing
for the musical?
390
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,250
I just found out that Pierce
is a lying jerk,
391
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:10,080
and now I'm supposed to
kiss him on stage.
392
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,330
I can't even look at him.
393
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,000
I knew he was bad news.
394
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,620
I tried to apologize to Trip,
but he won't even talk to me.
395
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,040
I totally blew it.
396
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,290
You want Trip back?
397
00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:22,460
Yes, but he made it very clear
there's no way.
398
00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:23,710
I've got an idea,
399
00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:26,040
but it falls in the "grand
romantic gesture" category,
400
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,460
and your mom
wouldn't like that.
401
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:28,960
But -- Dad,
just tell me what it is.
402
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,620
I don't even know
if we have time to pull it off.
403
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,290
Well, I'm good
at rallying people
404
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,040
but your dad
hates that about me.
405
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,460
Do you two think you can
stop acting so weird
406
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,540
and just help me?
407
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:47,080
I guess we should at least hear
what your father has in mind.
408
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,250
Then, if you're on board,
maybe your mother will help
409
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,710
rally the family
to make it happen.
410
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,290
Oliver, Anna-Kat!
Get in here!
411
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:55,790
[ Stool squeaks ]
412
00:14:58,580 --> 00:15:01,790
Okay, all fights are temporarily
on hold until tomorrow morning.
413
00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:03,960
We have an all-hands situation
and need to get to work.
414
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,920
Greg, you're up.
415
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:14,920
♪♪
416
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:23,960
♪♪
417
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,500
So, is everyone clear
on what you need to do?
418
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,620
Do we have enough time?
419
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:28,790
Honey, you're on.
420
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:30,960
Everybody up!
421
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,290
We have one hour before curtain.
422
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:34,000
Taylor, go upstairs
and get ready!
423
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,790
Anna-Kat, go call Trip.
424
00:15:35,790 --> 00:15:37,120
And Oliver...
I wasn't listening
425
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,830
to what your father told you
to do, but do it now!
426
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,670
Let's go, people!
427
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:42,670
Just think,
if you had to do our taxes
428
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:44,170
you wouldn't have
had time to do this.
429
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,460
I thought all fights
were on hold.
430
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:47,120
Oh, I didn't tell you?
I took them off.
431
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,290
Well, in that case --
They're on hold again.
432
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:54,330
♪♪
433
00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:56,210
[ Gasps ]
You made it!
434
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,880
You said it was a matter
of life and death.
435
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,290
Meh, it can wait.
436
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:02,330
In the meantime, why don't you
sit next to me for the show?
437
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:04,670
Anna-Kat, I don't want to
watch my ex-girlfriend
438
00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:06,460
kiss a guy I hate
on stage.
439
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:08,790
I have a bag
of gummy worms.
440
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,790
All right.
441
00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:15,960
♪♪
442
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,790
Hey, uh, are you
in charge of lighting?
443
00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:19,540
Yeah.
Are you friends with Pierce?
444
00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:22,210
Hate him.
My man.
445
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:28,830
♪♪
446
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:35,500
♪♪
447
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,830
Pierce: Audrey,
all that is behind you now.
448
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,000
You've got nothing
to be ashamed of.
449
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,500
You're a very nice person.
I always knew you were.
450
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:45,330
Underneath all the bruises
and the handcuffs,
451
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:46,330
you know what I saw?
452
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:48,170
A girl I respected.
453
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,830
I still do.
454
00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:52,500
♪♪
455
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:57,670
♪ Lift up your head,
wash off your mascara ♪
456
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:01,920
♪ Here, take my Kleenex,
wipe that lipstick away ♪
457
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:08,120
♪ Show me your face,
clean as the mornin' ♪
458
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:13,880
♪ I know things were bad,
but now they're okay ♪
459
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,380
♪♪
460
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:21,580
♪ Suddenly, Seymour ♪
461
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:27,210
♪ Is standing beside you ♪
462
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:32,790
♪ You don't need no makeup ♪
463
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:38,460
♪ Don't have to pretend ♪
464
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:43,790
♪ Suddenly, Seymour ♪
465
00:17:43,790 --> 00:17:49,290
♪ Is here to provide you ♪
466
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:54,960
♪ With sweet understandin' ♪
467
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,790
♪ Seymour's your friend ♪
468
00:17:56,790 --> 00:18:01,750
♪ You never
treated me kindly ♪
469
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:05,670
♪ Daddy couldn't stand you,
Mama concurred ♪
470
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,080
Taylor, that's not
the lyric.
471
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,580
♪ I met you
and followed you blindly ♪
472
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:17,920
♪ Now I see that
you're a big tuuuuurd ♪
473
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,420
What are you doing?
474
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:24,000
♪ Suddenly, Trip ♪
475
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,710
♪ Please forgive me ♪
476
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:33,210
♪ You're honest and caring ♪
477
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:38,880
♪ You were my number one fan ♪
478
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:43,290
♪ Suddenly, Trip ♪
479
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:48,290
♪ Please don't forget me ♪
480
00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:53,290
♪ With sweet understanding ♪
481
00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:58,960
♪ Please be my man ♪
482
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:05,460
♪♪
483
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,170
[ Indistinct whispering ]
484
00:19:07,170 --> 00:19:12,170
♪♪
485
00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:15,080
[ Cheers and applause ]
486
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:19,080
♪♪
487
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,040
I'm so lucky
that I sat here!
488
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,420
[ Laughter ]
489
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,170
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
490
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:27,670
[ Indistinct conversations ]
491
00:19:27,670 --> 00:19:29,000
This is
such a coincidence.
492
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,330
Anna-Kat called me here
for a life-and-death situation
493
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:33,330
and then Taylor
winds up singing to me.
494
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:35,170
I've missed you.
495
00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,830
Babe, you were amazing.
496
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,000
Thank you.
Yeah, it was probably the first audience ever
497
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,830
to cheer when Seymour
got eaten by the plant.
498
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:43,000
[ Both laugh ]
499
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,580
You know this was only possible
because we embraced
500
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:50,290
the things that we don't
like about each other.
501
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,790
Yeah, from now on, let's not
try to change each other.
502
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:53,960
Let's just complain
to our friends
503
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,290
behind each other's backs.
504
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:56,620
You good with that?
505
00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,380
Shu-wa!
[ Chuckles ]
506
00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,750
♪♪
507
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,710
Come on.
508
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,790
[ Crinkling ]
509
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,790
[ Indistinct conversations ]
510
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:13,620
[ Crinkling continues ]
511
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,710
The sound!
512
00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:17,620
[ Crinkling ]
513
00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:18,960
Oliver!
514
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,750
[ Crinkling continues ]
515
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,210
That's the sound.
Oh, my God, that's it.
516
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:32,460
-Did you hear that?
-Oh, my God, that's the sound.
517
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:34,250
-That's the sound.
-That's it.
518
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,750
That's the noise.
-Oh, my God, that's the sound.
519
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:38,080
Oh, my God. We got to get
through on the phone
520
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,750
tomorrow before
any of these people.
521
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:42,420
"We"?
You're doing it with me?
522
00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:43,920
Because when this family
works together,
523
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,580
there's nothing
we can't do?
524
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,580
No, because Mom said
she'd shoot me in the crotch
525
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,120
with her wake-up gun
if I didn't.
526
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,080
♪♪
527
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:55,680
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