All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s02e19 Mutually Assured Ruination.eng

(announcer)
The Cold War.

A time when
two world superpowers,

the Soviet Union
and the United States,

were locked
in an ideological struggle

that, at any moment,

threatened to break out
into nuclear Armageddon.

Never was that threat
more real

than during
the Cuban Missile Crisis.

On October 16th, 1962,

President Kennedy
was stunned to learn

that Premier Khrushchev had
covertly placed nuclear missiles

just 90 miles off the US coast
in Communist Cuba.

(laughing)

I will not let this
unprovoked aggression stand!

(thunder)
(both growling)

(announcer)
With unflinching resolve,

Kennedy demanded that Khrushchev
remove the missiles.

The tense
13-day standoff ended

when Khrushchev submitted
to Kennedy's iron will.

(groans)

USA! USA! USA!

Actually,
that's not right at all.

In fact, a lot of
what you think you know

about the Cold War
is totally wrong.

(announcer)
Oh, great, let me guess.

You're going to drop
a truth bomb.

(bell dings)
Great idea.

But the only fallout from
this bomb is knowledge.

I'm Adam Conover and
this is "Re-Animated History."

Uh-oh!
(crash)

?

Aah!

(horse neighing)

(explosion)

(announcer)
As I was saying,

during the Cuban
Missile Crisis,

our young,
handsome president Kennedy,

along with his advisers,
acted quickly and decisively

in the face
of clear Soviet aggression.

These missiles in Cuba

change the balance of
power so significantly

that we only have
one option... war!

This is an unprovoked
act of aggression.

Gentlemen, I will
not start World War III.

We will look Khrushchev
right in the eye

and make him understand
that we will never give in.

Yes, this is the version
JFK supporters told us...

but it's an extremely
misleading account.

For one, the US caused
the crisis, not the Soviets.

(announcer)
Come on, you nagging no-goodnik.

How can you say that

when the Soviets
put missiles in Cuba

pointing right at the U.S.?

Because, the U.S. had
just put missiles in Turkey

pointing right at the Soviets.

(gasps)

Sweet salty caviar!
What is that?

In 1961,
JFK gave an order

to put 15 nuclear-tipped
Jupiter missiles

on the Turkish border.

Khrushchev was furious.

(grunts)

Put missiles in Cuba!

Is only fair.

Let's give them taste
of their own borscht.

Nuclear borscht.

(announcer)
Hold on, grown-up Jonathan Lipnicki.

You mean to tell me
that the US started it?

Yep. In fact, Kennedy's
advisers later realized

just how provocative
their actions were.

Yeah. I take back what
I said earlier, Jack.

We should have seen
this coming a mile away.

But surprisingly,
these tit-for-tat moves

actually did little
to shift the balance of power.

It's okay, Bob.

At least we still have way
more nukes than they do.

(announcer)
What? We were in a nuclear arms race.

I thought we were neck and neck
with the Soviets.

Hardly! In 1960, the US
had over 18,000 nuclear weapons,

while the Soviets
only had 1,600.

That's more than
a ten-to-one advantage.

(groans)

Maybe we need to get
a storage unit.

(announcer)
Okay, Facty McGee.

Then why did JFK make
such a big deal out of this?

Why was it even a crisis
in the first place?

Because,
more than anything,

Kennedy was worried
about looking weak.

(shouts)
(crash)

One of the reasons

Kennedy won
the presidency in 1960

was because he repeatedly
attacked his opponent

for being soft
on Communism.

Richard Nixon is soft
on Communist Cuba.

His favorite sandwich
is a Cuban sandwich!

I would never touch
a Communist sandwich,

no matter how tender the pork

or how gooey
and melty the cheese.

Ahh... Ooh.

(laughs nervously)

(whistling)

(Adam)
So, after the election,

Kennedy needed to make good
on his promise

to be tough on Communism.

He sent trained expats
to invade Cuba

and overthrow
the Castro regime,

but they were completely
outnumbered by Cuban troops.

(men shouting)

And the operation, known
as the Bay of Pigs invasion,

failed miserably.

(men shouting)

(laughs)
I bet this is the single worst thing

that will ever happen to
Kennedy in his entire life!

(Adam)
The botched invasion

embarrassed the entire
Kennedy administration,

and as a result,
Kennedy felt

he had to appear
tough on Communism.

If it hadn't been for that,
the Cuban Missile Crisis

might never have happened.

I don't want to go to war,
but if we do nothing

about these missiles in Cuba,

I'll seem weaker
than White House coffee!

(grunts)
I got it!

How about
a naval blockade?

We stop any
ship-carrying weapons

from entering Cuban waters.

(announcer)
Yes, the blockade!

What a brilliant
strategic move

by our young, disarmingly
handsome president.

Not really.

The blockade actually
escalated the crisis.

The US had no legal right
to do it,

so it was technically
an act of war.

A blockade!
Kennedy is nuttier

than squirrel
with mouthful of nuts!

In fact, Khrushchev
wanted nothing more

than to de-escalate
and end the conflict.

Fine.

I will observe
Jack's little blockade.

But tell USA we will take
missiles out of Cuba

when they take missiles
out of Turkey.

Khrushchev
is reasonable man!

Hah!

We can't do that.
If the public finds out

I gave into this totally
reasonable request,

they'll think
I'm a little softy baby boy.

You're right, Jack.

Let's nuke the
hell out of 'em.

Whoa, whoa.
I will not go down in history

as the man
who ended the world.

Now, let's take
a potty break.

Bobby, there's only
one way out of this mess.

We have to give in,
but secretly.

After your tinkle,
here's what I want you to do.

I want you to take...
(whispering)

(Adam)
JFK's brother Robert Kennedy

brokered a secret deal
with the Soviets,

and it would be years
before anyone found out.

We will take our
missiles out of Turkey,

but you guys
have to pinky swear

never to tell
anyone.

Oh, but we're gonna
tell the public

that we kicked
your ass. Cool?

Okay, bye-ee!

(announcer)
This is crazy.

JFK made a secret deal
with the Soviets?

Why didn't I ever
hear about this?

Because Kennedy
had his very own historian

in the White House.

His name was
Arthur Schlesinger Jr.,

and he took down the story
exactly as Kennedy wanted it.

So, you see, Artie, I said,
now you listen here, Ruskies.

We will never give in!

And it worked.

Oh, you showed those
Reds who's boss, Jack!

Boy, I love the truth.

(Adam)
The public was so fascinated by the Kennedy White House

that the books became
instant bestsellers,

making Schlesinger's version

the standard history
of the crisis.

It wasn't until secret records
were declassified in the 1990s

that we learned the truth.

Kennedy actually
escalated the conflict

in an effort to save face
and only saved the day

by reluctantly
giving in to Khrushchev.

(announcer)
Fine, he gave in.

But he still resolved
the crisis, which...

I mean, that's still a win,
right?

Not entirely, because
the official version of events

established a powerful myth
in American diplomacy

that confronting aggression
in an uncompromising way

will deter future aggression.

But that approach was no help
with countries like Vietnam,

Libya, Panama, Iraq, Yugoslavia,

Iraq part 2, or North Korea.

(announcer)
Wow. You're right.

I just wanted
to believe that Kennedy

was nothing but courageous.
Uh-huh.

(announcer)
And sexy. Uh-huh.

(announcer)
And probably ripped. Ehh.

(announcer)
I mean, he really filled out a suit.

Well, it takes courage
to know when to give in.

And hey, if you want courage,
I got courage.

What if I were to tell you that
in the midst of the Cold War,

there was a Republican senator

who stood up to the nastiest
Red-baiter of the era?

(announcer)
I'd say you're wrong, because I would have heard of him.

Well, stick around
and I'll tell you all about her.

(announcer)
Really patting yourself on the back about that one, aren't you?

Uh-huh.

(crash)
Wuh-oh!

(announcer)
No, you messed up Jack's ed face, you monster!

(announcer)
All right, fancy boy.

I'm ready.
You promised heroes.

Let's see what you got.

Today's story
is about a brave politician

whose name you don't know,
but you definitely should,

and she's today's
unsung badass of history.

Margaret Chase Smith never
set out to be a politician,

but she was married

to a Republican congressman
from Maine when...

(groans)

(thud)

(crowd reacting)

For years, Congress
observed an unwritten rule

called The Widow's Mandate.

If a congressman died,

his wife would serve out
the rest of his term

and then step aside
at the next election.

Okay, Margaret, just
keep this seat warm

while we wait for a
qualified, capable person.

One with a penis.

Yeah, screw that.

I'm getting to work!

(thudding)

Hey, this isn't half bad.

I think I'll run again.

(gasps)

Margaret didn't just run,
she won.

In fact, the Republican
from Maine was so popular

that she was reelected
to Congress three more times,

and then in 1948,
she ran for Senate

and beat her opponent
by over 40 percentage points.

Thank you, Maine,
and keep cheering!

I've got quite
a few encores coming!

(announcer)
Wow.

A woman senator in 1948?

Hey, that's even rarer
than me enjoying your company.

The point is,
she was a pioneer,

and Republicans could never
take her vote for granted.

I don't think you
understand, Margaret,

likely because of
your smaller female brain,

but Republicans are
voting against this bill.

I need to do
my own research first!

Ow!

(announcer)
Very impressive.

(Adam)
And that's nothing

compared to what she did next.

Around the same time,
one of the craziest,

most vindictive anti-Communists
of the Cold War, Joe McCarthy,

was elected as a Republican
senator from Wisconsin.

He used his powerful position
to haul government officials

in front of Congress and accuse
them of Communist sympathies.

You're a diplomat
for the State Department,

yet you have traveled
to Communist China!

How do you explain that?

Well, I...
The State Department

sent me there because
I'm a diplomat?

Likely story.
You're fired! Blacklisted!

And I'm eating your lunch
out of the shared fridge.

Hmmph!

He had over 30,000 books
he deemed subversive

removed from
American libraries abroad.

White whale?

More like a red whale!

He even attempted to ruin
the careers of Army officers

by accusing them of having
dinner with Communists.

Oh, you'd rather have dinner
with a Commie than me?

Let me tell you something.

I am a delightful
dinner guest,

no matter what
your buddy Karl Marx says!

(announcer)
Holy Crow!

He went after the Army?

(Adam)
Yep. And that's why everyone in Washington

was terrified of him.

They knew he'd destroy
anyone he could.

Oh, man, I don't want Joe
to come after me, too.

I wonder if he's free
for dinner on Friday.

Though Smith was fiercely
anti-Communist,

she was also
a woman of principle,

and she didn't believe in
McCarthy's witch hunt,

so she did something that none
of her male colleagues,

Republican or Democrat,
would do.

She stood up to the biggest
bully in the Senate.

The right to criticize,

the right to hold
unpopular beliefs,

the right to protest,

the right
of independent thought.

The exercise of these rights

should not cost one single
American citizen his reputation

or his right to a livelihood!

She called this speech
"A Declaration of Conscience."

Why you...

Of all the...

How dare you?

Looks like Joe's
the one turning red now.

You'll pay for this,
Smith!

I'll... I'll fund
your primary opponent

and make sure you never
set foot in D.C. again!

(Adam)
Although McCarthy tried his best to get rid of her,

it made no difference.

She crushed her primary opponent
83 to 17%.

Take that, Joe!

Margaret Chase Smith served
in the Senate until 1972,

all the while
voting her conscience.

She voted with Republicans
in support of the Vietnam War

and with Democrats on Civil
Rights and the space program.

In 1964, she even
made a run for the presidency.

(announcer)
Wow. I'd call that courageous.

Yeah, me too.

Which is why it's weird
so few of us know her name.

But aren't you glad
you know about her now?

(announcer)
You know, I'd like to say yes,

but that would
only encourage you,

so I'll just move on
to my next story.

The fall of the Berlin Wall.

Oh, like how it came down

because one German bureaucrat
made a dumb mistake?

That's one of my favorites.

What page is it on?
Let me help.

(announcer)
Uh, it's towards the back.

Oh, okay.

(announcer)
Ha! Got him!

(Adam)
Oh, joke's on you!

I love being
trapped in books!

(announcer)
The Berlin Wall.

96 miles of concrete and rebar
between freedom and tyranny.

Dark and light.

In June of 1987,

Ronald Reagan traveled to Berlin
with a singular focus.

End Communism
once and for all.

He stood before the wall

and boldly called out Soviet
Premiere Gorbachev by name,

issuing that
now famous challenge...

Mr. Gorbachev,
tear down this wall!

That was the beginning
of the end for the Berlin Wall.

Gonna... stop you...
right there.

Reagan actually did very little
to bring down the Berlin Wall.

(announcer)
Come on, hairspray.

Everybody saw that speech.

Yeah, but almost
nothing happened

as a result of that speech.

It was pretty much business
as usual for the next two years.

Well, our number-one
enemy says we need to

tear down Berlin Wall.

Get my axe, Dmitry.

I better do what
he says right away.

That was Soviet sarcasm.

You can tell because I said
something I did not mean.

(announcer)
Yeah, but the wall came down eventually.

It just took time for Reagan's
words to, you know, sink in.

Nope. In reality,
the wall finally came down

because of
geopolitical instability,

the brave work
of East German dissidents,

and because
one German bureaucrat

made a stupid mistake.

But first, let me
give you a little context.

(shakes can and sprays)
(humming)

By the late 1980s,

unrest and corruption
throughout the Eastern Bloc

were making it
harder and harder

for Communist countries
to stay in power.

So, uh,
I'm gonna give this

whole society
as we know it thing

another, I don't know,
six months?

(Adam)
In East Germany, the government doubled down on repression

in an attempt
to maintain control.

But that just made people
want to leave even more,

especially those
who had skills

that might
be rewarded elsewhere.

I'm a graphic designer, but
all I do is design pamphlets

with tips on how to
spy on your friends.

I'm going to have to
report you for saying that.

Hey, that's one of my tips.

Uh-oh, my tips work!

As pressure from the East German
people continued to grow,

the authorities
tried to make it seem

like they were relaxing travel
restrictions, but in reality,

they were just making those
restrictions more confusing.

Let's see.

Swap paragraph 56
mit subsection B.

Type some random
German legalese.

Sneak in the name
of my dog

a few times, and done.

Whoa!
(crash)

(Adam)
On November 9th, 1989,

the international press
gathered

to hear about the changes
to the travel restrictions.

(announcer)
Wait. So this press conference wasn't about the wall?

(Adam)
It wasn't supposed to be about the wall

until this guy made a mistake
that made it all about the wall.

His name, G�nter Schabowski.

(announcer)
Wow. That is a little on the nose

for a German guy's name,
don't you think?

Hey, I don't write history,

I just summarize it
and try to add jokes.

(reporters shouting)
I have question!

Mr. Schabowski!
Mr. Schabowski!

Has there been a change
to the travel policy?

(Adam)
The problem was, G�nter hadn't read the new policy beforehand

and it was way too confusing
to learn in just one glance.

So, he started to wing it.

Yeah, um, so, um,
pretty much, people come...

Uh, immigrate,
kind of whenever.

Um, kind of not so...
Sort of, I think.

And then one reporter asked the
most important question of all.

Will the wall come down?

And G�nter bailed
without even answering it.

Okay, no more conference.

G�nter raus!

Later in the day,

Schabowski did a private
interview with Tom Brokaw

and continued to be so vague

that Brokaw was forced
to fill in the gaps.

So, the wall is coming down?

I'm not saying that.

But I'm not
not saying that, either.

I mean, what are walls
even, really, hmm?

Maybe this is all a dream.

Mm-hmm.

(Adam)
Brokaw's word carried a lot of weight,

so the press
ran with the story.

When the German people
saw the news,

they thought the wall
was coming down

and decided to take matters
into their own hands.

Why wait?
I got a crowbar.

Let's take this
thing down today!

(people shouting)

Some climbed the wall
while others brought

whatever tools they could
find to bring it down.

(announcer)
Incredible.

But how did they get
past the guards?

There was so much confusion
that when the guards

called their superiors
for clarification,

they got no answer.

Hmm, it went
straight to voicemail.

Well, I, too, have
an out-of-office reply.

Freedom!

(Adam)
Over the next 72 hours,

as many as 3 million people
went through.

David Hasselhoff
even performed.

(announcer)
Wait, so you're telling me that David Hasselhoff

potentially had as much to do

with the wall coming down
as Reagan did?

Yep. It was in large part
G�nter Schabowski's mistake,

but at the end of the day,
it was the fed-up German people

who brought the wall down,
literally.

(announcer)
Well, this is getting old.

All my information was,
once again, wrong.

Mr. Conover,
tear up this book!

No!
There's no need for that.

All you have to do is... Oh!

(mic feedback)

Ugh, man, you know,
I'm not even mad.

How can you be mad
at talent like that?

There we go, all fixed.
Ah!

You can tell
that's JFK, right?

(announcer)
Yes, fine, whatever.

Show's over, Adam.

I'm throwing this book away.

Everything in it is wrong.

It is useless.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Not at all.

We just need to update it.

(announcer)
What does that mean?

Well, we think of history
as static and unchanging

because it's in the past.

But that's not true at all.

The study of history is
as dynamic and ever-changing

as any other field
of human knowledge.

In the last few decades,
historians have made

tremendous progress
refining our understanding

of what really happened
during the Cold War,

and if you keep abreast
of that new knowledge

rather than just telling
the same old stories,

your understanding of history
will be that much greater.

(announcer)
Yeah, I guess this book is a little dusty.

Well, thanks for the lessons.

Looks like our time is up.

Wait, but I haven't
even told you

about how one of the first
things the East Germans did

when they got to the west
was buy crates full of bananas!

(announcer)
Oh, sorry.

Credits are rolling.
Gotta go.

See, because they couldn't
get them over there,

they went crazy for 'em!

I mean,
how does that even work?

You can't even eat a crate
of bananas before they go bad.

Were they making
banana bread or what?

There are so many questions!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0