All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s02e18 The First Factsgiving.eng

Welcome back to
another exciting journey

into the pages of our past.

Today we visit
the Native Americans

and I'll be sharing a story
that no one will argue

or find fault with.

Okay?

Anyone?

Adam Conover, perhaps?

Speak now or forever shut up!

Good.

Now on with my show.

For thousands of years
these simple people

lived in harmony with nature.

That is until the arrival
of the Plymouth Pilgrims

who brought civilization
to this wild land,

starting with the first
Thanksgiving in 1621.

Uh, that's not quite...

Dag gummit! No!

I'm finishing my intro.

After a long journey
across the Atlantic,

the Pilgrims settled
a harsh wilderness.

There they met the friendly
Native Americans

who, with the help of
the English-speaking Squanto,

taught them to plant corn.

We are friends.

And friends,
this is corn.

In thanks, the Pilgrims invited

the Native Americans
to a feast,

one that we still celebrate
to this day.

Actually, that's not how
any of this went down.

Aarrrrhhhh!

You have a problem
with how I'm telling the story

of the first Thanksgiving?

Not one problem.
Many problems.

In fact, your entire approach
to Native American history

is totally wrong.

That's a big friggin' statement.

With big friggin' facts
to back it up.

I'm Adam Conover and this is
"Reanimated History."

??

??

*ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING*
Season 02 Episode 18 Title: "The First Fact Giving

Okay, you talking corn husk.

Everyone knows the story
of the first Thanksgiving.

The Pilgrims came to
the New World on the Mayflower

seeking religious freedom
and they broke bread

with the friendly
Native Americans.

It's sweet and it's simple.

And that's why we force adorable
grade-schoolers

to reenact it every year.

And almost none of it
is true.

First of all, you have
the dinner guests all wrong.

Oh, are you saying the guests

weren't Native Americans?

They weren't generic
Native Americans,

they were members
of a specific group,

the Wampanoag,
and a majority of the people

on the Mayflower
weren't Pilgrims.

Only a third of the passengers

were seeking religious
tolerance.

The rest came
for economic opportunity.

I'm here
for the cash, baby.

Gonna buy a solid gold
buckle for my hat.

Well, who doesn't love cash?

Cash rules the world.

Heretics.

Huh, did not know that.

Well, whatever the reason,
the industrious settlers came

to an empty wilderness and built
the town of Plymouth

with their bare hands.

Far from it!

The settlers actually built
Plymouth on top

of an abandoned
Patuxet village

that had been wiped out
by disease.

Wait, what?

As a result, most of the
work had been done for them.

Patuxet already had cleared
fields, fresh water,

and pre-built homes.

We are super unprepared
for this whole settling thing,

so we really need a place
that's, uh, move-in ready.

This abandoned village
is priced to sell,

and that price is zero.

Eh, Pilgrims can't
be choosers.

They took over
a dead tribe's village?

That's disturbing.

Yeah, and they also
ate corn and beans

the Patuxet people
had buried years earlier.

Jackpot!

Geez, Pilgrims
really liked their corn.

Not even gonna
boil it first, huh?

Hmm, well,
they had to survive.

They had no choice, right?

But they did
have a choice

of whether or not
they dug up graves.

And according to the settlers'
own journals,

that's exactly
what they did.

Francis, are you seriously
writing this down?

Keep this shit
a secret, man!

Hey!
Are those bowls?

Okay, that is... awful.

But the settlers weren't
all bad, right?

They befriended Squanto!
That's heartwarming.

- Corn!
- Corn!

Sorry.
While it's true that Squanto...

Whose real name was Tisquantum...
Helped the settlers,

his story is less heartwarming
and more heartbreaking.

In 1614, Tisquantum was
kidnapped and brought to Europe

to be sold into slavery.

It took him years,
but he eventually escaped.

He then crisscrossed
the Atlantic,

picking up English
along the way,

before finally
making it back home.

Finally the nightmare
is over.

I'm so happy
to be back home in Patuxet.

Wait. Patuxet?

Isn't that the same
village that...

No!

Alone and without his people,

Tisquantum was captured
by the Wampanoag

who put him to use
as a translator.

Some English just showed up

and we need you
to negotiate an alliance,

so they'll help us
kill our enemies.

So Tisquantum was forced to go
to his former village

and strike a deal
between the two groups.

The Chief says we will trade
you corn and corn-know-how

if you will help them
fight the Narragansett.

Fresh corn that's not buried
in the ground?!

Count us in.

Hey, boys,
we got corn!

Corn!

So, after we murder
your enemies,

wanna have a little
feast or something?

Sure, whatever.

Wait, that's what
led to the first Thanksgiving?

The Pilgrims traded
their military might

for some farming tips
from the Wampanoag?

Yup!

Ugh, I hope you're happy, Adam.

You just ruined a 400-year-old
national holiday.

Actually, Thanksgiving has
only been a national holiday

for 155 years!

It wasn't until the woman who
wrote "Mary Had A Little Lamb"

started sending letters
to Abraham Lincoln

that Thanksgiving became...

That's enough!

I was wrong, okay?

Isn't history a lot more
complicated

and troublesome
than you thought?

On that we can agree.

Well, after all this awfulness,
I should tell a happy story.

One of true love.

The story of Pocahontas,
which is a...

Horrifying tale of abuse
and exploitation.

So you're gonna
just keep interrupting me to...

Tell you the truth?
Yup.

I'm very fun at parties.

The story of
Pocahontas and John Smith

is one many of us know
from childhood.

A real-life American
"Romeo and Juliet."

Back in the early 17th century,

Pocahontas was the mischievous
daughter of a powerful chief.

She was meant to marry
a warrior named Kocoum...

...but instead
she cast off tradition

and chose the Englishman
John Smith...

a charming adventurer

who had arrived
with the Jamestown settlers.

After they fell in love,

Pocahontas saved
John Smith's life

from the wrath of her father.

Get away from my daughter,
you European scum!

Father, no!

Don't harm
this sweet man.

I'm very into him!

Her heroic act of devotion

is one we remember to this day.

Sure do!

But we remember it all wrong.

Oh, look, you're a raccoon now.

Hooray.

We prefer to be called
Trash Pandas.

And the real story
of Pocahontas

is way darker
than the animated movie.

Let's start at the top.

While it's true
that Pocahontas

was the daughter
of a powerful chief,

she would never have been
romantically involved

with John Smith.

In this New World,
I will find

not only adventure,
but also love!

'Cause when John Smith arrived
in Jamestown in 1607,

Pocahontas was only
ten years old.

Maybe love is, ah,
deeper in the woods.

And Pocahontas never saved
John Smith's life,

'cause no one
was trying to kill him.

Smith either
made the whole thing up

or misunderstood
a religious ceremony

welcoming him to the tribe.

Welcome, friend.

Ah! The violent
native seeks

to crush me
in his bear-like grip!

What? No.

Man, this guy is dense.

But the biggest mistake
is that John Smith

wasn't the hero
of this story.

Frankly, he and the British
were total jerks.

When the Jamestown
settlers first arrived,

Chief Powhatan welcomed them

and gave them
badly needed supplies.

That is, until the autumn
of 1608

when a particularly bad harvest
meant the Powhatan people

didn't have
any more to give.

My apologies.
We barely have enough

to get our own people
through the winter.

But the British
reaction to this was, uh...

pretty violent.

Merry Christmas.

I can't believe
I tried to hug you.

The British threatened
and harassed them so much

that Chief Powhatan ended up
moving the entire village

further from Jamestown
just so they'd be left alone.

Ugh, these guys
are the worst.

Let's get out of here!

Even if I was an adult,
I wouldn't marry that jerk.

Pocahontas ended up
marrying the warrior Kocoum,

who she actually liked
quite a bit.

You know what I like
most about you?

You didn't violently
threaten my people.

Meanwhile, back in Jamestown,

John Smith,
the intrepid explorer,

was lighting his pipe...

...and accidentally
blew himself up with gunpowder

and had to return to England
to recover.

What a maroon!

So that's the end of the story?
Weird.

Nope! From there, things only
got worse for Pocahontas.

I should've guessed.

After John Smith's departure,

Pocahontas was kidnapped
by another British settler

who was also feuding
with her father.

You feud with us,
we steal your kids.

You know what?
I'm gonna say it...

these people are assholes.

While in captivity, Pocahontas
converted to Christianity,

learned English, and married
a man named John Rolfe.

From the second I saw you

ripped from your family
and cultural context,

I knew you were the one.

I vow to love you
always.

And I vow to make the best of
the worst possible situation.

That's the British spirit.

Then Pocahontas, John
Rolfe, and their newborn son

went to England
on a publicity trip

meant to stir up more investment
for Jamestown.

Come one, come all
to look at John Rolfe

and his beautiful
native wife!

Wait, wait, wait,
they used a kidnapped woman

as a marketing tool?!

That's terrible.

Yes. It was.

And, unfortunately,
after this visit to London,

Pocahontas died of disease
at the age of 21.

She'd never see her home
or her people again.

How in the world
did we get a sweet love story

from such a sad tale?

Well, for that, you can thank

that old exploding sleazebag,
John Smith.

Because in 1612,
he wrote a bestselling account

of his adventures that falsely
depicted Pocahontas as grown up,

beautiful, and into him.

"And after Pocahontas
saved my life,

"her beautiful adult body
embraced me.

"'You're such a hero,
you'd never

blow yourself up with
gunpowder, ' she exclaimed."

This dude also
claimed in another book

that Pocahontas and 30 other
women in her tribe

attacked him with a dance
and demanded sexual favors.

"And then things started
to get really hot.

Oh, yeah, everybody wanted
a piece of John Smith."

Ugh, what a creep!

Creepily influential.

Smith's account
became the basis

for centuries
of mythologizing.

And it was those myths
that made their way

into the animated movie
350 years later.

Thirty women?

Sexual favors?

I smell a G-rated
children's film!

This false,
romanticized version

became the story of Pocahontas
most of us know today,

even though it's painted

with all the creative
liberties of the wind.

Anyone else hot?

I can't believe I was retelling

that lamewad's crappy narrative.

Adam, allow me
to redeem myself.

For our final story, we'll talk
about what the Americas

were like before
the Europeans even arrived.

Were you gonna repeat
that old story

about how the Americas were
wild, empty, and uncivilized?

Because that's totally wrong.

Let's get you out of there,
little guy.

y, you know
what, help me out here.

Leave him in there.

Before Europeans arrived,

the New World was an empty
and fertile land.

The small groups
of Native Americans there

lived simply and only ate
what nature provided.

They took apples from the trees,
fish from the streams,

and buffalo from
the, uh, bushes, I suppose?

But all that changed

when Europeans brought
civilization to the Americas.

?

Oh, wow, we have a lot
of ground to cover here, whew.

Luckily, I have my most active
ruining outfit on.

Ugh, all your
outfits are ruining outfits.

I can handle this, Adam.

Sorry, but you are
super wrong.

Super wrong?

How am I already super wrong?

Where to start?

First off, even the way

you're using the term
"Native American"

is a vast oversimplification.

There were hundreds
of tribes

speaking over
a thousand languages

spread across the American
continents

before European arrival.

For example, the Algonquian
from the Eastern Woodlands

and the Taos from the Southwest
had vastly different lifestyles.

They were as different
as the Vikings and the French.

My life is nothing like theirs.

So there's very
little you can say

that applies to all Native
Americans as a single group.

Except that there
weren't very many of them, right?

Oh, no! There were.

Before European arrival,

there were between
50 and 100 million people

living in the Americas.

That's insane.

The population of Europe
in the 15th century

was only like 70 million.

Exactly!

Some experts say
there were actually

more people in the Americas
than Europe.

That many people were
just wandering around the woods?

Nope! Because that's another
big misconception.

Lots of Native American groups

actually lived
in organized settlements.

This is a Secotan village,

a tribe that lived
in the outer banks

of what's now North Carolina.

Wow, this place is lively!

Yeah, we live
in permanent homes.

We farm large fields as a group.

We save food in storehouses
for winter

and trade extensively
with our neighbors.

We're running
a civilization here.

What, did you think
we were just

running around the woods
in our underwear?

No...
of course not.

And some tribes
like the Iroquois

even had complex
political organizations.

Vote Hiawatha
come autumn!

Hey, you, sir, would you
like some information

on the great work
Hiawatha is doing for...

This image we have of small
bands of nomadic people

is totally wrong.

You're right,
this isn't what I pictured,

but it still feels,
I don't know,

not as civilized
as Europe?

Because it's not a city?
Right.

Well, then let's go
to a city.

Onward to Cahokia!

Cha-Who-kia?

Cahokia!

A city once located
in North America

near what is now
St. Louis.

At its height
around 1100 A.D.,

upwards of 30,000 people
lived there.

It rivaled London and Paris
in population.

Yah, London is cool.
Paris is sweet.

But have you been
to Cahokia?

Ha!
That city is crazy, man.

The city was so
massive, it even had suburbs!

And they built massive
earthworks.

The biggest, Monks Mound,

was larger than
the Great Pyramid at Giza!

Monks Mound
is way underrated.

Giza is such
a tourist trap, pssh.

Imagine the sheer
number of people

and level of organization
it must have taken

to build
such massive structures.

That's incredible!

But why have I never heard
of this before?

Why didn't the European settlers

document how crazy populated
the continent was?

Simple.

These civilizations were
wiped out by disease

before most
of the settlers arrived.

When explorers first started
coming to the Americas

in the late 15th century,

they encountered shores
that were packed with people.

My God, this continent
is full to the brim!

And they also
spread infectious disease.

Sorry!

From smallpox to
measles to influenza.

Epidemic after epidemic
hit the continents

and the native people had
no immunity to any of them.

It's been estimated that
in the 16th century,

90% of the Native Americans
died of diseases.

So, by the time
the larger wave of settlers

arrived a century or so later,

many saw a landscape

that had been effectively
cleared of people.

Huh, not a lot
of Native Americans around.

Well, they must live
in small,

nomadic groups
in the wilderness.

Time to dig up some graves!

That's wrong!

Just a few years before,
there were tons of people here!

Yeah, but the
settlers didn't know that.

So the tales and letters
they wrote home

told of an empty continent
ripe for the picking.

"Dearest Mother, this land is
virtually uninhabited.

"God has given an entire
continent to white Europeans.

"Oh, also, in your next care
package, can you send...

everything?
We need everything."

The settler's account created
the persistent myth

of an empty,
wild pre-Columbian America.

But it wasn't true.

Before the arrival
of Europeans,

this was actually
a bustling continent

of tens of millions of people

and hundreds
of complex societies.

Disease changed it all.

My God!

I'm so flabbergasted,
I don't even know

if I'm using the word
"flabbergasted" right.

All that culture lost.

All those people ignored
by a false history.

It's terrible.

I'm terrible
for perpetuating it.

Krypton.S01E03.The.Rankless.Initiative.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP5.1.x264-SiGMA

You can correct
that mistake by...

No. I've heard enough.

I don't deserve to narrate
this show.

Wait, are you really leaving?

Hello?!

I was about to tell you
why you've been

making these mistakes
and how you might correct them!

Ah, man, even disembodied voices
try to run away from me.

Narrator? Narrator?
Hello?

We're back from commercial!

Don't you want to finish up
the show?

No.

Aw, why not?
What's wrong?

What do I even show or say?

I've been so wrong
about everything.

Yeah, but that's because
you made the same mistake

so many of us
have made before you.

When we tell stories
about Native American history,

we often do so through
a European lens...

Stories based
on misinformed settlers

or a romanticized account
written by a horny explorer.

"'So you native women want me
to marry you all at once?

"'Well, who is John Smith

"to keep John Smith
all to himself?'

John Smith exclaimed."

John Smith, you sexy fox.

If we truly want
to know the past,

what we need to do
is give more weight

to the Native American
perspective.

We need to tell the story
through their lens.

If you look at more
recent scholarship...

and native oral
traditions...

you can get
a more accurate picture

of what native peoples' lives
were like in the Americas.

And it really wouldn't hurt

if you renamed
your Washington football team.

I mean, come on.

And if you do that, you'll help
right a huge wrong

that's discounted
the contributions and legacies

of hundreds of societies
and millions of people.

That... sounds good.

I'll try, Adam.
Thank you.

Ooh!
Well, if you liked that,

I have even more facts
we couldn't get into earlier!

Like, did you know that
John Smith's second-in-command

is the guy who ended up
kidnapping Tisquantum?

Ooh...

Small New World, huh?

Yeah, that's enough for today.

I'm pretty burnt out.
I'll see you next time.

Oh, man,
I'm never gonna meet

someone who has
my factual endurance.

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