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1
00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:11,110
Bowling.
2
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,612
One of the world's
oldest sports.
3
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,480
Artifacts date bowling
back to ancient Egypt
4
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:20,285
and the Roman empire
over 5,000 years ago.
5
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:21,620
Or as my mom would say,
6
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:24,156
"about the same age
as the earth."
7
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:30,290
Modern rules
were established in 1895
8
00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:31,697
in New York City,
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00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,400
and have since evolved
into what is widely regarded
10
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,569
as the highest form
of competition among man.
11
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,739
You got one competitor,
ten pins,
12
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,776
and a polyurethane ball.
13
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:45,744
Some play for fun,
14
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,147
others compete for glory.
15
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:52,251
I bowl
because it's who I am.
16
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,860
I'm Emily baardsson
and you're watching...
17
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:01,260
Ah, jeepers.
18
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,417
Here in roseau county,
19
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:02,287
we do a big bowling event
every year at my alley.
20
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,289
Actually,
it's not my alley.
21
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,226
Uh, it was my uncle Harley's,
22
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:10,562
uh, but he's dead now.
23
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,832
I run it,
well, I guess it is my alley.
24
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:17,202
Anyway, we call it the, uh,
wait for it,
25
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,604
the roseau bowl.
26
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,572
You know,
'cause the football game.
27
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,908
Anyway, it really is a big event
around here every year.
28
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,710
This year
we're gonna reopen
29
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,445
the open-age,
open-gender brackets
to figure out
30
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,213
who is the absolutely
best bowler.
31
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,648
It's a question
that's on everybody's mind,
32
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,316
and we just
have a right to know.
33
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,385
So that's what
we're gonna do, and plus,
34
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,854
it should get me
a whole bunch of extra moolah
from concession sales
35
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,690
'cause last time
we did the open-age,
open-gender bracket,
36
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,394
concession sales
went through the roof.
37
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,898
I mean, you're not making a
bunch of money on shoe rentals.
38
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:50,302
You're not.
If we can avoid a post-tourney
controversy this time,
39
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:54,473
we may make
the open-age, open-gender
bracket a regular thing.
40
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,279
Friggin' fountain drink.
41
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:05,184
That was the first episode
of my video blog,
42
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:10,222
which was, jeez, wow,
it was six years ago now.
43
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:13,392
So, yeah,
got a bunch of comments
about the title.
44
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:16,261
Holy buckets.
I had no idea people were gonna
take it like that.
45
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,965
So I quickly changed it
to "Emily's turkeys"
46
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,334
for the next episode.
You know, because of the whole
47
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,835
three strikes in a row thing?
48
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,637
You're looking at
"Emily's turkeys."
49
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,340
After getting a bunch of
inappropriate nipple comments,
50
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,943
I switched it to "Emily xxx,"
'cause I figured
51
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,611
it's the same thing as
bowling a Turkey,
52
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,712
except not dirty.
53
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,849
What the frick
was I thinking?
54
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,252
To be fair,
that video got a lot
of views,
55
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,888
but I don't think
it's what the people were
expecting, you know?
56
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,957
So after that,
i made the final decision
57
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,259
to call it
"rollin' with Emily,"
58
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:50,229
and, uh, that's what
my video blog's been
called ever since.
59
00:03:58,871 --> 00:03:59,938
Oh, yeah.
60
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,842
I suppose living legend
61
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,979
would be an appropriate way
to refer to Gunnar solberg.
62
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:10,749
No, no, after you.
63
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,951
Jeez Louise, go already.
64
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,954
I mean,
how many people can say
they've dominated
65
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,390
ten out of the last
12 roseau bowls?
66
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,891
Gunnar can say that.
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00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,460
He says it all the time.
68
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,280
Ten for 12, baby.
Ten of 12.
69
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,564
Ten of the last 12.
Last seven straight.
70
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,532
Ten for 12? Literally.
71
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:29,701
I'll learn you
something else,
72
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,403
about five years ago,
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00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,405
they did an open bracket.
74
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,942
Not only did I dominate
my cousin Emily
75
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,845
so hard that
she quit competing,
76
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:43,715
they closed
the open bracket forever,
77
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:47,419
till like the end of time.
78
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:50,550
I mean, until now.
79
00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:51,923
I guess that's what you get
for going to college
80
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,393
thinking you're better than
everybody else.
81
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,962
You ain't better than
Gunnar solberg...
82
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,498
Fart face!
83
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,401
She'll know what
I'm talking about.
84
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,903
I can do a close up
on "fart face"
if you guys need it.
85
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:09,374
- Nah.
- Like... all right.
86
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,754
Hi, I'm Barry Williams.
87
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,757
I work here at
the warroad bowling alley.
88
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,659
Um, mostly I do
my working in--
89
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,661
uh, frickin' face is itchy--
90
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,698
uh, mostly work in,
uh, concessions,
91
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,400
but when my cash drawer
comes out on point
92
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,903
for three days in a row,
93
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,838
Alan lets me
hit up shoe duty.
94
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,607
So it's pretty, um,
95
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,609
you know,
it's whatever,
you know?
96
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,780
It's pretty cool.
97
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:55,530
I retired from
competitive bowling
98
00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:58,690
about five years ago,
after the last open tournament.
99
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,426
It, uh,
it wasn't because of
Gunnar beating me.
100
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,496
Or, uh, you know,
him rubbing it in my face
real bad afterwards,
101
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,465
or, you know,
102
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,701
because of what happened
to my dad.
103
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,603
I mean, yeah, sure,
he was a real jerk
104
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,605
and, uh, he made me feel
real lousy about it,
105
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,140
but that's not why I quit.
106
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,775
You know, I just got--
107
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,111
I got too much on
my plate now, you know?
108
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,446
Mmm.
109
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:25,784
I mean, I just
got too much to do,
you know?
110
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,754
Oh, I'm super excited for
the tournament this year,
111
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,822
but I try to compete
to be a bowling guy,
112
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,557
I'm not a bowler.
113
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,894
My dream, actually,
is to try to be a singer.
114
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,896
You know, like,
uh, Justin bieber.
115
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,865
Um, but if you guys wanted,
116
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,733
I could probably do
a quick fast singing
117
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,602
for you
to hear me do that.
118
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,840
I've been running
my video blog which,
119
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,843
you know,
gets literally dozens
of hits every week.
120
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,545
And, um,
121
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,880
I've been training
my favorite aunt--
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00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,480
ooh. Friggin' bump.
123
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,418
I've been, uh, training
my favorite aunt Donna
124
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,420
to be a bowler,
which is, uh,
125
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,588
which is where
we're heading right now,
126
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,570
and I'm teaching fifth grade
right here in warroad.
127
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,195
You know,
I'd like to see
Gunnar get in
128
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,763
the physical peak condition
necessary to compete
129
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,310
with that kind
of workload.
130
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,633
No siree Bob.
He couldn't do it.
131
00:07:17,690 --> 00:07:19,204
So that's why
i friggin' retired.
132
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,709
Yeah, I know Emily
has a fancy job,
133
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,711
but she's such a idiot.
134
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,214
I get this
whole basement
to myself.
135
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,490
Rent free. Boom!
136
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:32,918
And then I'll blow it up.
137
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,860
I do still get to the lanes
quite a bit.
138
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:36,855
Uh, actually, I, uh,
139
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,724
took my fifth graders
bowling last week,
140
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,728
and, uh, oh,
i gotta tell ya,
jeez Louise,
141
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,310
one of my students,
who I shall not name,
142
00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:47,732
Jared h.,
143
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,569
somehow managed to bowl
in the single digits.
144
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,477
He had bumpers
and everything.
145
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,480
I mean, I didn't even know
that was possible.
146
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,114
He scored a seven!
147
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,922
It is times like that
it is real tough to stay
professional, you know?
148
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,694
- I mean, friggin' seven.
- And plus,
149
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,950
when I win the roseau bowl,
150
00:08:17,970 --> 00:08:19,898
I get like $3,000
in cash and gift cards.
151
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,534
So who's the dummy now?
152
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,136
It's Emily.
153
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,538
And I'll learn you
something else,
154
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,772
Gary down at
the bowling alley
155
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,975
lets me bowl for free
whenever I want.
156
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,510
I'm sorry. Who's Gary?
157
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,745
You know Gary.
158
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,470
The weird dude that works at
the bowling alley.
159
00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:38,717
Oh, are you referring
to Barry?
160
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,285
Could be.
161
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,188
He's the one
with dong broom on his lip
162
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,923
and the toadstool haircut.
163
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,626
I think he might be a little,
derpy derp or something.
164
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,761
You know?
That friggin' guy!
165
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,630
Gunnar's pretty much
one of my best friends.
166
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:54,666
I mean, it's kind of one of
the perks of working here
167
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,268
and at the movie theater,
168
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:58,637
uh, where we have
two screens now.
169
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,272
Um, and, uh--
170
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:02,574
because I get to meet
all the, like, the really,
171
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,676
the popular guys
when they come in and,
172
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,946
but I would,
I'd probably say Gunnar's
the biggest, like, star
173
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,814
that I'm best friends with.
174
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,850
I think he works
at the movie theater, too,
175
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:14,319
because I went to go see
Jackie chan's "first strike"
176
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,321
because I thought
it was a bowling movie,
177
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,189
and I was way off,
178
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:21,126
but it was still
a pretty good movie.
179
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:25,196
It was actually
a really good movie.
180
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:28,333
Like, super bad-ass movie
if you haven't see it.
181
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,868
But, um...
182
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,840
I'm not quite sure
where I was going
with that, um...
183
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:39,711
It was a good movie.
184
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,646
You guys should, um,
185
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,716
you should check it out.
It's a pretty good movie.
186
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,693
-You got this. Five more.
-I can't.
187
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,661
Hey, don't you use
that filthy word around me.
188
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:02,701
Believe it or not,
i used to be quite the bowler.
State champ in high school.
189
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,700
Now I don't mean
to toot my own horn about
that or nothing,
190
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,938
but, you know, toot-toot!
191
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,940
Oh, hon,
don't act like an idiot.
192
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,809
You don't want
people to think
you're an idiot.
193
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,100
'Cause he's not an idiot.
194
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,278
But ever since
the carpal tunnel,
195
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,980
I haven't been able to bowl.
196
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:17,820
So I spend my free time
training this little lady.
197
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:18,750
- Aw, hon.
- How, uh,
198
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,285
-how'd you guys meet?
-Ooh.
199
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,200
It's a pretty funny story,
actually.
200
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:23,922
Hey, why don't you tell him,
sweetheart?
201
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,725
Oh, about how we're cousins
or about where we first met?
202
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,393
Oh, talk about
how we worked together
203
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,261
at Christian brothers
hockey sticks.
204
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,163
-Yeah, but, i--
-we're not cousins.
205
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,399
Well, I think the cousin thing
is a lot more interesting.
206
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,101
Yeah, I definitely want to hear
the cousin thing.
207
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,370
-See, hon, I told ya.
-Okay, first off,
208
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:41,106
we're not blood cousins.
It's through marriage.
209
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:44,175
And, uh, second, I feel like
in a town this size,
210
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,711
pretty much
everyone's related,
so, you know?
211
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:50,480
Hey, what the
are you laughing about? Huh?
212
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,384
You know,
love has no DNA.
213
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:56,388
So if two cousins fall in love
and want to marry each other,
214
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,657
-then so be it, okay?
-Okay, but again,
215
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:02,127
I just wanna clarify
that we are not blood cousins.
216
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,663
Okay, we were
already in our thirties
and married
217
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,164
when my mom married her dad.
218
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,899
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
219
00:11:09,101 --> 00:11:11,803
Oh, jeez.
220
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,105
Oh, I guess
that makes us siblings.
221
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,974
Whew. Ski-u-mah.
222
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,976
Ah, who gives a?
223
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,678
You know,
my parents are first cousins,
224
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,746
and we all turned out fine.
225
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,916
Well, your brother.
226
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,786
-What?
-I'm just saying.
227
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,888
He's awfully rude.
228
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,223
Well, yeah,
my brother tells rude jokes
229
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,458
-and they're dirty.
-Yeah.
230
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,193
But they're funny as hell.
231
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,430
They're pretty funny,
but they're real dirty.
232
00:11:38,432 --> 00:11:39,698
Tell the one
about the hot dog.
233
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,866
Okay.
234
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,935
So, uh,
235
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:47,380
uh, one guy is eating
a hot dog
236
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,707
and the other guy says,
237
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,443
"hey, how's that hot dog?"
238
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,144
And then the first guy
takes it
239
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,480
and sticks it in his butt
and says,
240
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,215
"you tell me."
241
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,751
And then
the second guy says, uh,
242
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,753
"whew. Could use
a little more ketchup."
243
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:04,890
You see?
244
00:12:04,910 --> 00:12:05,790
-'Cause it could
use ketchup.
-Yeah.
245
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,959
'Cause it
tastes like.
246
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:12,464
You got this,
five, four, three,
two, one.
247
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,199
Nice work. All right.
248
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,367
-Hiya.
-Hey, Emily.
249
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,336
-Oh.
-How's it going?
250
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,871
She's working up
quite a sweat.
251
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,372
-Whew, yeah, look at that.
-Yeah, right?
252
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,740
Whew.
Get some water, huh?
253
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:24,242
Yeah, little trooper.
Oh, I'll get some.
254
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,777
She's got it all, eh?
255
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,178
Brains,
beauty, athleticism,
256
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,413
willpower, and she's got
the greatest--
257
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,381
are you
talking about me?
258
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,250
What the
are you saying about me?
259
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,419
-Huh?
-Oh, nothing.
260
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,788
-What did you say?
-Whoo.
261
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,790
-Huh?
-She's--
262
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,225
don't talk about me
behind my back.
263
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,360
She's got it
going on right now.
264
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,262
-Don't talk about me
behind my back.
-Okay, I won't, I won't.
265
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,397
-Huh?
-Oh.
266
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,990
-Are you being
naughty right now?
-No, cripes, I'm not.
267
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,801
Ah, I think you need
to get a spanking.
268
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,136
Honey, no.
269
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,470
Okay, uh, let's train.
270
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,340
-Huh?
-Ahem! Come on, Donna.
271
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,208
-All right, back at it.
-Let's do this.
272
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,543
She gets tired
doing those weights,
273
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,146
but when it comes
to the other stuff,
274
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:04,182
there ain't no stopping her.
275
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:07,510
-One more, come on.
-No, I can't.
276
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:10,455
-You can do this.
-Ugh.
277
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,190
-I'm done.
-Ah, come on.
278
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,925
-Donna? Donna? Donna?
-I'm done.
279
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,260
-This isn't gonna happen.
-Donna, look at me.
280
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,528
-Look at me.
-No.
281
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:19,998
Look at me.
You can do this.
282
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,101
Yes, I believe in ya.
Jeff believes in ya.
283
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,469
-Sure do.
-Not now, Jeff.
284
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,105
-Okie dokie.
-Ya gotta believe in yourself.
285
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,807
Dig deep, Donna.
286
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,409
Come on, let's do it.
Come on! One more.
287
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,579
Ready? Come on.
288
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,281
Do it.
289
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,816
Do it.
290
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,350
Ugh!
291
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,524
-Ugh!
-Yeah!
292
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,526
Whoo!
293
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,228
-Whoo!
-Thanks, guys.
Thanks, guys.
294
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,300
-You did it, babe.
-You did it.
295
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,531
I started to lose faith,
296
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,533
but then I thought
about your cute buns.
297
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,350
-Okay.
-Ah, jeez.
298
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:08,313
Here's a little something
to put a tickle in your taint.
299
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,140
Gunnar's rolled
three perfect games
300
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,950
in the last three years.
301
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,318
Let's see
if he can go ahead
302
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,186
and do one of those again
for ya today.
303
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,591
I'm gonna learn you
some bowling.
304
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,125
Boom!
305
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,260
no perfect game,
but, uh,
306
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,395
238 ain't nothing
to scoff at.
307
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,364
Ugh.
308
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,000
Hey, Barry,
why don't you stop
staring at us
309
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,300
and score us
some soft pretzels?
310
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,671
He's so weird.
311
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:10,740
I got some
press to do tomorrow,
for this tournament.
312
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,760
You know,
it's a life of an athlete.
313
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:13,945
You gotta do the p.R.
314
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,114
Local news thing?
315
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:20,118
No, Emily's,
uh, video on a.O.L.
316
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,487
Yeah, she's got
a video show on there.
317
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,322
Jeez Louise.
318
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,250
Look at the ass
on that hockey mom.
319
00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:28,226
Whoa.
320
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:33,310
You gotta get the people out
no matter what it takes.
321
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:36,340
I'm trying to get paid.
Sweet cheddar cheese, baby.
322
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:39,537
Over the line!
323
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:43,410
If Emily lets you,
you should come watch,
324
00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:46,440
because I have a lot in store
for that interview.
325
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,512
You're gonna wanna be there.
326
00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:52,250
You guys are gonna
love bjorn.
327
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:55,119
Oh, look, there he is.
328
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,688
-Hey, sis, how goes it?
-Oh, it goes, you know?
329
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,890
-You okay?
-I'm fine.
330
00:15:58,910 --> 00:15:59,424
-Good to hear.
-You betcha.
331
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,259
So do you wanna
go straight to the alley?
332
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,494
Or you think we got time to
stop by Doug's sandwich shop
333
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,960
and pick up a couple
of quick subs?
334
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:06,965
Well, let's see.
Your practice is at 3:30, yeah?
335
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,600
-All right.
I'd say we got time.
-Oh, good.
336
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,302
I'm a starvin' Marvin
right about now.
337
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,271
-Ooh, wow.
-You know, if you buy
338
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,390
two foot-long subs from Doug's
with all the fixin's,
339
00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:16,374
you get a free
fountain drink.
340
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,209
-No kiddin'.
-No kiddin'.
341
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,211
I heard it
on the radio there.
Two-foot long subs
342
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,547
with all the fixin's,
free fountain drink.
343
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,549
Well, jeez, they leave us
no choice, do they?
344
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,510
You're telling me.
345
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:30,540
Em's my baby sister.
Now I know what you're saying.
346
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,557
-"But you look so young."
-Ah, jeez.
347
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,425
No? Okay. Anywho,
348
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,761
we been carpooling ever
since she started teaching.
349
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,297
Mm-hmm. Well, you know,
we're both teachers,
350
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,000
but bjorn coaches
the bowling team.
351
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,535
We got a great team
this year.
352
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,771
-Mm-hmm.
-Like I always say,
353
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,406
"strength in numbers."
354
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,708
We got nearly eight kids
going out for a squad.
355
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,544
Now, come on,
you're gonna have a great team
'cause you're the coach.
356
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,413
Now don't get it twisted.
357
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,515
Em here got
all the talent
in the family.
358
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,350
I mean,
i know how to coach bowling,
359
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,153
but I can't
pick up a 5-8-10 split
to save my life.
360
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,155
Em here can do it
in her sleep.
361
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,656
He's just being modest.
362
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,658
Well, you know what
Woody Allen says?
363
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,194
-Hmm?
-"Those who can't do, teach.
364
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,331
And those who can't teach,
teach gym."
365
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,738
Oh, man.
366
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,775
-Bjorn's a gym teacher.
-I teach gym.
367
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:43,494
ah, shoot!
Shoot! Shoot!
368
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,664
Would ya look at that,
for fudge sake!
369
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,666
-That was good.
-What're you talking about?
That was awful.
370
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,369
-What're you patronizing me?
-No, it was good.
371
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:54,720
You just need to adjust
about a half step to your left.
372
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,275
Try taking it two boards over.
You got it.
373
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,776
You're lucky you're so hot,
you.
374
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,845
-Oh, stop it.
-Well, ya are.
375
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,714
-Okay.
-You're my hot piece of meat.
376
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:07,151
-Please.
-Come one. Come on.
377
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,653
No, you're catching
the fire department here.
378
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,254
All right, fine.
379
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,390
-But when we get home.
-Okay.
380
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,438
-hey.
-Oh, how'd you do that?
381
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,507
I didn't do it.
You did.
382
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,742
-You're amazing sometimes.
-I know you are,
383
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,444
but what am I?
384
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,446
-My hot piece of meat.
-Oh, okay, all right.
385
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,148
-It's what you are.
-Okay, I know, I know.
386
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,150
I'm serious about
when we get home.
387
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,652
Yeah, okay,
just no hair pulling
this time, okay?
388
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,654
-It hurts.
-Okay.
389
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,490
-All right.
-I'll be easy on you.
390
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,493
-Yeah, so you say that now.
-I am gonna eat you up, though.
391
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,795
I know, I know.
I'm scared.
392
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,230
All right,
get back up on that Lane.
393
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,631
Oh, yeah,
we know Gunnar.
394
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,801
He's a second cousin
twice removed
395
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,270
or something like that.
396
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,872
He's not close related
that's all I know.
397
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:02,607
Ah, not this again.
398
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,509
I mean,
I'm not really sure
how to put this,
399
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,844
but you know how we all
got that one relative
400
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:11,349
that's just, uh,
well, not as pleasant?
401
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,818
And after what he did
to Emily's father, you know?
402
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,187
- He's an.
- He-- oh.
403
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,189
The guy's an , Jeff.
You can say it.
404
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,825
- He's an.
- I'm not gonna.
405
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,294
Say it.
406
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,296
Just say it.
It feels good to say
the truth.
407
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:28,332
-Okay, okay.
-Say it.
408
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,368
He's an.
409
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,937
There you go.
See, now doesn't that
feel better?
410
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,872
Now my stomach hurts.
411
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,543
You shouldn't have
had that grilled cheese.
412
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,645
I couldn't help it.
413
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:44,248
It looked so good.
It was piping hot.
414
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,317
But it's also
'cause of what I just said.
415
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:49,487
Yep, I'm ready
when you're ready.
416
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,355
I want you to be
my cheerleader.
417
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,357
You better believe it.
That's what I was born to do.
418
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,262
Okay, here we go.
419
00:19:58,264 --> 00:19:59,597
All right,
all right, all right.
420
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,533
Here we go,
go, go, go, yeah!
421
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,536
-Oh!
-Still just one.
422
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,872
Hey, that's closer
than last time, you know?
423
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,574
-I know, you're right.
-Yep, you're doing great.
424
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,443
-I should be happy.
-Yeah, you should be.
425
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,445
You're incredible.
426
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,781
-She's incredible.
-What'd you say?
427
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,516
I said you're incredible.
428
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,885
Emily's been great with her,
just a real good coach.
429
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,321
Super patient.
430
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,423
She couldn't
be here today 'cause she's
preparing her video show
431
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,291
on the YouTube tomorrow.
432
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,960
Boy, oh, boy.
433
00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:30,661
You'll see a real difference
in Donna's game
434
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,997
when Emily's around.
435
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:36,000
Well, in the meantime though,
we're making do.
436
00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:48,479
So why did you agree
to have him on?
437
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,815
Publicity, you know?
438
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,984
Like, when Gunnar's on
we get the views,
439
00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:54,752
so just make it perfect.
440
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,287
Yeah, I'm with Kenny.
441
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,755
Gunnar's a total douche, babe.
442
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,690
Don't call me babe.
443
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,392
I'm no one's babe.
444
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,561
Emily always gets like this
when Gunnar's around.
445
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:06,430
He really
got under her skin.
446
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,965
Dude totally friggin' sucks.
447
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,568
We're all on your side, Emily.
448
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,437
There's only one way
to describe the way he treated
you after the tournament.
449
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:14,772
Uncool.
450
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,441
Totally uncalled for.
451
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,578
That's what I'm screaming.
The dude's a friggin' dick.
452
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,447
I choked in the third game.
I did.
453
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,682
And, uh,
454
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:28,190
afterward, he got all up
in my bubble,
455
00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:30,755
you know,
shouting real loud,
456
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,890
you know, and then he started
doing that mooning thing
457
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,592
where you share
your bare naked bottom,
458
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:35,960
wiggling it back and forth.
459
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:41,632
And then he farted...
460
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,668
While his pants were down.
461
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,536
And, uh,
462
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:48,406
I don't know
if maybe he pooped
a little bit,
463
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:53,344
because the smell was...
464
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,746
Real bad, you know,
and it got up in my nose,
465
00:21:55,748 --> 00:22:00,451
and with like
no filter or nothing.
466
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:02,653
And, uh--
467
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:06,657
and, uh,
then my dad stepped in.
468
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,460
And, um,
469
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:12,697
anyway, so, you know,
it made all the papers,
of course,
470
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:15,433
and, uh,
there was one headline
that read, uh,
471
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:19,700
"'choking on farts,'
starring Emily baardsson."
472
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,606
So, yeah,
I'm not in the best mood
when he's around.
473
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,775
But, you know, I, uh--
474
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,510
I gotta get those views.
475
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:29,780
Got to get those views.
476
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,950
Hey, em, uh,
yeah, maybe after this,
477
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,618
you know, if you needed
to wind down a bit,
478
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:36,620
take the edge off,
479
00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:39,423
you know,
we could go get some drinks?
Just you, just me.
480
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:42,426
Papa Nick's buying!
481
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:45,429
-Yeah, yeah, I'd like that.
-Right, all right, great.
482
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:47,498
But, you know,
like, as friends, yeah?
483
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:51,369
Yeah, friends,
more than friends,
future couple.
484
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,871
-You know, either way.
-Nick, come on.
485
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,873
You know I'm not into guys.
486
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,875
Never have been.
Never will be.
487
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,578
There I said it.
488
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:03,547
Not all lesbians look like
al franken, you know.
489
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:10,154
It's, uh--
it's a joke I like to tell.
490
00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,525
Nick really
has to let that one go.
491
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:16,127
I mean,
i know he's into her
and everything,
492
00:23:16,129 --> 00:23:21,866
but... he's barking up
the wrong tree.
493
00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:25,350
I can't get enough of her.
She's, seriously, like,
494
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,405
the omega babe
of the century.
495
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,407
You know,
she's the end all
to be all babes.
496
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,876
She is the mayor
of babe city U.S.A.,
497
00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:34,512
and I am voting for her
every year.
498
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:36,814
But, yeah, I just gotta
respect her, though,
499
00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:38,883
you know, 'cause she's--
she's super cool,
500
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:42,153
and, uh, she's a great friend,
and so friendship it is.
501
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:51,162
What kinda question is that?
502
00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:52,997
Of course
Gunnar plans to win.
503
00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:55,166
Seems that's all
he ever does really.
504
00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:59,703
Win. Me. Champion.
Greatest ever.
505
00:23:59,705 --> 00:24:02,673
These are words I've become
to be known ab-- about.
506
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:04,842
They get used
about me a bunch.
507
00:24:04,844 --> 00:24:06,644
I mean,
it's no surprise.
508
00:24:06,646 --> 00:24:08,646
I've won ten out of
the last 12 roseau bowls,
509
00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,648
including the last
seven straight.
510
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,149
-Now...
-Including, also--
511
00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:15,119
also including
the 2010 roseau bowl.
512
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,857
Which was the last time
they had the open bracket.
513
00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:22,193
You know that they
closed it down?
514
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,962
Because I beat you
so bad, right?
515
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,530
That's not why
they closed it.
516
00:24:26,532 --> 00:24:28,232
Yeah, it is.
You remember that?
517
00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:30,768
Remember I put my butt
in your face and I farted?
518
00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:32,770
Remember when I farted
in your face?
519
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:34,710
Yeah! You know, what? Yeah!
520
00:24:34,730 --> 00:24:35,773
Yeah, I remember,
you stupid idiot!
521
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,107
Jeez, who do you think
you are, huh?
522
00:24:37,109 --> 00:49:14,216
You know if you--
523
00:24:37,109 --> 00:24:40,644
if your balls were in the gutter
half as much as your mind,
524
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,246
-you'd be bowling zeros.
-That's right.
525
00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:44,181
I am that guy.
526
00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:47,852
I'm also the guy calling you out
for this year's roseau bowl.
527
00:24:47,854 --> 00:24:50,721
That's right.
You versus me, toots,
528
00:24:50,723 --> 00:24:55,593
on the hardwood.
529
00:25:00,265 --> 00:25:01,765
Gunnar.
530
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,905
You know, I'm, uh,
531
00:25:07,907 --> 00:25:10,400
I'm retired.
532
00:25:10,420 --> 00:25:11,976
And, uh,
i gotta lot on my plate.
533
00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:13,978
You know, I got a job,
534
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:17,848
and I, uh,
i got my aunt Donna
who's bowling.
535
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,850
And, I, you know,
i couldn't ever bowl
against her.
536
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,552
-Huh.
-And, I, and I got,
537
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:24,221
I got book clubs
on Tuesdays.
538
00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:26,757
-And I got tons of shows...
-Horse hockey!
539
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:29,760
-Building up on my dvr.
-In its purest form.
540
00:25:29,762 --> 00:25:31,629
Absolute horse hockey!
541
00:25:31,631 --> 00:25:33,631
You don't have too much
on your plate.
542
00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:37,167
And Donna's a moron.
You're a chicken.
543
00:25:37,169 --> 00:25:42,172
Duck, duck, gray duck,
you're a chicken.
544
00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:47,745
You tore my family apart!
545
00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:49,747
And I want
nothing to do with you
546
00:25:49,749 --> 00:25:51,615
and your stupid challenge!
547
00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:03,327
And that's all the time
we have for today.
548
00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:05,195
So, um,
549
00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:08,198
please tune in next week
when we discuss the importance
550
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,701
of different
size finger holes...
551
00:26:10,703 --> 00:26:13,203
Finger holes?
552
00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:15,205
Did you hear what she said?
553
00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:17,207
And, uh,
I'm Emily baardsson
and, uh...
554
00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:19,243
Oh, I can't believe
you just said that.
555
00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:21,779
-This is how I roll.
-Finger holes!
556
00:26:21,781 --> 00:26:23,948
- Gunnar!
- I can't believe it.
557
00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:25,816
-Gunnar, get out!
-Where are we going?
558
00:26:25,818 --> 00:26:27,351
Seriously, Gunnar,
get outta here.
559
00:26:27,353 --> 00:26:30,354
You guys want a selfie
or something before I leave?
560
00:26:30,356 --> 00:26:33,570
Jeez.
Thanks for having me, Emily.
561
00:26:33,590 --> 00:26:36,160
I don't know,
you know, he's--
562
00:26:36,162 --> 00:26:38,862
I just got all rattled
and I, I was,
563
00:26:38,864 --> 00:26:42,366
-was I too mean?
-No.
564
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:44,368
I mean,
i got real upset,
565
00:26:44,370 --> 00:26:46,700
man, I cannot stand that guy.
566
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,606
-You all right?
-Yeah, I'll be fine, thanks.
567
00:26:48,608 --> 00:26:50,107
Good. You really
nailed him, though,
568
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:51,942
with that
balls in that gutter line.
569
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:52,943
Huh?
570
00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:58,916
Oh, jeez,
no, I meant, like--
aw, dang.
571
00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:00,718
Oh, I know I'm,
like, uh, aw, jeez.
572
00:27:12,897 --> 00:27:13,931
-Yes!
-Whoo!
573
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:15,633
There you go, Donna.
574
00:27:15,635 --> 00:27:16,967
You know,
you've got that power,
575
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,669
and it is all about
that follow-through.
576
00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:20,400
It felt real good.
577
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:21,338
-It looked real good.
-Yeah.
578
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:23,707
You're like
a sniper out there.
579
00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:25,242
Okay, so for this
next time, though,
580
00:27:25,244 --> 00:27:27,211
I'm gonna have you take a
step and a half to your right.
581
00:27:27,213 --> 00:27:28,412
Mm-hmm.
582
00:27:28,414 --> 00:27:29,847
Ease up on that spin
just a touch.
583
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:30,948
-Okay.
-Okay?
584
00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:33,117
-Mm-hmm.
-You got this.
585
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,219
-Here she goes.
-Heart's pounding.
586
00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:40,991
-Whoo!
-Oh, man!
587
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:42,693
Yes! That was unbelievable.
588
00:27:42,695 --> 00:27:44,862
-Yeah!
-You two are good together.
589
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:46,964
Oh, yeah, we are.
It's all her, though.
590
00:27:46,966 --> 00:27:48,699
-Yeah.
-You know, uh,
591
00:27:48,701 --> 00:27:50,340
I saw that
interview with Gunnar.
592
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,360
Did you now?
593
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,370
Well, I'm sorry
you had to see that.
594
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:55,720
Well, you wanna know
what I think?
595
00:27:55,740 --> 00:27:56,774
Maybe not.
596
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:58,342
You know, maybe we just
sweep this one under the rug?
597
00:27:58,344 --> 00:28:00,444
Well, I think
you should take him down.
598
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:02,713
I wouldn't be mad.
599
00:28:02,715 --> 00:28:04,214
You're the best bowler I know.
600
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:06,316
Come on, now,
you know I can't do that.
601
00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,318
No, no,
i don't know that.
602
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,955
I know you'd beat me,
that much I know.
603
00:28:11,957 --> 00:28:13,357
After everything
that he's put you through,
604
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:14,925
you're the only one
who can shut him up,
605
00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:17,227
and somebody
needs to shut him up.
606
00:28:17,229 --> 00:28:19,463
You know,
i know they do,
607
00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:21,799
and I'm training the person
that's gonna do it.
608
00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:24,435
Okay, you know I truly,
truly believe that.
609
00:28:24,437 --> 00:28:26,103
Just to be clear,
you two are talking about...
610
00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:27,971
Yes, I'm talking
about Donna, Jeff.
611
00:28:27,973 --> 00:28:29,473
Yeah, Jeff, who'd you think
she was talking about?
612
00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:32,476
-She's training me.
-Yeah.
613
00:28:32,478 --> 00:28:34,945
-Doesn't that make sense?
-You're the one.
614
00:28:34,947 --> 00:28:37,915
Sometimes you can be
a real dummy, you know that?
615
00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:39,717
You know, if you weren't
such a steaming
616
00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:42,953
hot piece of yum-yum,
i don't know what I'd do.
617
00:28:42,955 --> 00:28:44,388
Look at you.
618
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,924
Ooh!
It's like Hercules.
619
00:28:46,926 --> 00:28:48,859
What? We did some
groceries today.
620
00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:49,993
-Yeah.
-Yes, you did.
621
00:28:49,995 --> 00:28:51,361
-Let me see those buns.
-Okay.
622
00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:54,798
Of course I'm gonna
win it this year,
623
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,867
unless some
freak accident happens.
624
00:28:56,869 --> 00:29:00,738
I mean, my biggest competition
right now is Donna.
625
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:03,273
You heard me. Donna!
626
00:29:03,275 --> 00:29:06,777
Friggin' Donna!
Who the heck is Donna?
627
00:29:08,379 --> 00:29:11,482
I mean, I'm what
the bowling community
628
00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:13,951
refers to as a cranker.
629
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:16,920
C-a-r, no.
C-r-a-n,
630
00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:22,590
yeah, c-r-a-n,
c-r-a-n-k-e-r.
631
00:29:22,610 --> 00:29:23,460
Cranker. Right?
632
00:29:23,462 --> 00:29:24,962
Ain't too many people
in a bowling alley
633
00:29:24,964 --> 00:29:27,931
that can do
what it is that I can do.
634
00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:31,235
What I do is I come
with a high backswing,
635
00:29:31,237 --> 00:29:32,936
I square my shoulders,
636
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:34,805
and then
i put a lot of spin
on the ball,
637
00:29:34,807 --> 00:29:36,373
and then I just let 'er rip.
638
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:39,760
I get as close
to the line as possible
639
00:29:39,780 --> 00:29:40,811
and then I just release.
640
00:29:40,813 --> 00:29:43,814
You know,
it's a plant and pull.
641
00:29:43,816 --> 00:29:45,382
So, plant and then pull.
642
00:29:45,384 --> 00:29:47,117
Far as I'm concerned,
643
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,820
that's the best way to get
a big hook on your ball.
644
00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:53,991
You know, I mean,
of course you know.
645
00:29:53,993 --> 00:29:55,893
Unless you're
a friggin' idiot.
646
00:29:57,262 --> 00:29:59,930
Bowling is like life to me.
Frame by frame,
647
00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:01,431
no apologies.
648
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:05,435
Gunnar does what Gunnar does,
and he never looks back.
649
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:08,438
Emily can blame me all she wants
for what happened,
650
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,809
but she's the one that needs
to look in the mirror.
651
00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:13,811
You know, as far as
I'm concerned,
652
00:30:13,813 --> 00:30:15,279
if she didn't choke,
653
00:30:15,281 --> 00:30:17,470
everybody would be
alive and well
654
00:30:17,490 --> 00:30:20,500
singing "Kumbaya"
and.
655
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,452
But she choked
at the end of the game,
656
00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:24,388
and I just let her
know about it.
657
00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:26,390
And that's my fault?
658
00:30:26,392 --> 00:30:28,910
That makes me the bad guy?
659
00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:29,493
I don't think so.
660
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:31,361
And I'll learn you
something else,
661
00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:32,896
America don't think so either.
662
00:30:32,898 --> 00:30:34,198
Boom!
663
00:30:52,150 --> 00:30:54,985
Okay, you know,
not bad, not bad.
664
00:30:54,987 --> 00:30:56,854
What am I gonna
tell ya though?
665
00:30:56,856 --> 00:30:58,989
Uh, that I didn't
follow through.
666
00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:00,490
Exactly.
667
00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,559
You know,
bowling is like life.
668
00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:05,229
You gotta follow through.
669
00:31:05,231 --> 00:31:06,530
Lose or lose,
670
00:31:06,532 --> 00:31:07,598
Follow through.
671
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,660
Okay, I know, I know.
672
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,367
Two weeks to go,
you know.
673
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,236
We gotta get this
every single time.
674
00:31:12,238 --> 00:31:14,238
Okay, you got it.
675
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,639
Things are really
heating up here.
676
00:31:15,641 --> 00:31:17,341
Can I tell ya,
677
00:31:17,343 --> 00:31:19,643
we need Emily now
more than ever.
678
00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:22,450
Ever since I got a promotion
at Christian brothers,
679
00:31:22,470 --> 00:31:25,582
I just don't have
nearly the time needed.
680
00:31:25,584 --> 00:31:27,885
But I'd say we're in
pretty good hands.
681
00:31:27,887 --> 00:31:30,187
-Yes! Whoo!
-Nailed it!
682
00:31:30,189 --> 00:31:33,223
Yes, you did. Do it.
683
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:36,930
Do I think she can win?
684
00:31:36,950 --> 00:31:37,661
No telling, really,
i guess.
685
00:31:37,663 --> 00:31:40,197
Uh, but she's doing
really good, you know?
686
00:31:40,199 --> 00:31:43,200
Bowling the best
she ever has.
687
00:31:43,202 --> 00:31:45,535
Is it enough to beat Gunnar?
688
00:31:45,537 --> 00:31:48,672
I don't know.
Your guess is as good as mine.
689
00:31:48,674 --> 00:31:51,208
But here's one thing
i will say,
690
00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,477
nothing's gonna stop her
from trying.
691
00:31:53,479 --> 00:31:55,112
You know,
she's gonna get out there,
692
00:31:55,114 --> 00:31:56,513
and she's gonna do her best.
693
00:31:56,515 --> 00:31:59,216
That much I can guarantee.
694
00:31:59,218 --> 00:32:02,920
- Aah!
- Are you okay?
695
00:32:02,922 --> 00:32:04,154
My back.
696
00:32:04,156 --> 00:32:07,240
I think
it's my latissimus dorsi!
697
00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:09,459
She's speaking gibberish.
698
00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:12,620
It's okay, Donna.
Just breathe, okay?
699
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,398
-It's gonna be okay.
-No, it's not.
700
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,567
Last time this happened,
i couldn't bowl for a month.
701
00:32:17,569 --> 00:32:19,303
-Oh, I think it's torn.
-Donna, Donna.
702
00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:22,272
-I think it's torn.
-It's gonna be okay.
703
00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:26,109
No, I'm not gonna be okay.
704
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:28,946
This town needs you, Emily.
705
00:32:28,948 --> 00:32:31,548
Your family needs you.
706
00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:37,220
I need you to bowl for me.
707
00:32:43,394 --> 00:32:45,620
You really think she's gonna
announce it on air?
708
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:46,496
Dude, you never know.
709
00:32:46,498 --> 00:32:50,330
She could be
a total wildcard at times.
710
00:32:50,350 --> 00:32:51,702
No, no, it's gotta be
about the tournament.
711
00:32:51,704 --> 00:32:54,504
So we've been told Emily
has a pretty big announcement
712
00:32:54,506 --> 00:32:56,440
-to make on her show today.
-I think she's gonna be
713
00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:58,141
announcing that she's
entering the tournament.
714
00:32:58,143 --> 00:33:02,379
Kenny's probably right,
but, man, fingers crossed.
715
00:33:02,381 --> 00:33:05,449
If she's announcing that
she's gonna try dudes today,
716
00:33:05,451 --> 00:33:08,385
pretty good chance
that my long hair bumps me
to the front of the line.
717
00:33:08,387 --> 00:33:10,253
Dude, I'm just saying
if it's gonna be anybody,
718
00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:13,123
-it's probably gonna me.
-What would be you?
719
00:33:13,125 --> 00:33:15,993
Uh, we hear
you got some news.
720
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:18,161
-Huh?
-The show.
721
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,310
We hear you got
a big announcement to make.
722
00:33:21,330 --> 00:33:24,501
Oh, yeah, big time.
Get ready...
723
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:28,380
For me to enter the roseau bowl
tournament this year.
724
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,473
You say you're not scared?
725
00:33:29,475 --> 00:33:33,176
Well, I got 288 reasons
for you to be scared,
726
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:35,512
you frickin' little baby.
727
00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:38,148
That's what I bowled
yesterday and, uh,
728
00:33:38,150 --> 00:33:41,151
and those were also
the reasons.
729
00:33:41,153 --> 00:33:43,220
Well, I got the best friggin'
coach in Minnesota,
730
00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:47,624
and I'm coming
to whoop your behind,
pardon my French.
731
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:51,194
I'm Emily baardsson,
and this is how I roll.
732
00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,733
Is 288 a good score?
733
00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:02,139
Sure, it's darn good.
734
00:34:02,141 --> 00:34:04,740
But you know what
that means, right?
735
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:05,609
It means
she choked in the end.
736
00:34:05,611 --> 00:34:07,310
Last frame.
737
00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:10,313
When it comes down to the wire,
she's gonna choke.
738
00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:23,760
she always does.
739
00:34:23,762 --> 00:34:25,695
I don't know the exact
science behind it,
740
00:34:25,697 --> 00:34:28,565
but it had something to do
with a woman competing.
741
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:32,102
Now I'm gonna choose my words
real careful here.
742
00:34:32,104 --> 00:34:33,603
It's just like--
743
00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:36,440
like their reproductive parts
or something remind them
744
00:34:36,442 --> 00:34:39,142
that if they ever
want to have babies
745
00:34:39,144 --> 00:34:41,111
their body
won't even let them win.
746
00:34:41,113 --> 00:34:44,347
Like, again,
i don't know the exact
science behind it,
747
00:34:44,349 --> 00:34:47,350
but it was something
i read online once on a.O.L.,
748
00:34:47,352 --> 00:34:50,220
and it was in a chat room.
749
00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:03,500
you know,
you never know, though.
750
00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:06,503
I mean, you can't believe
everything you read online.
751
00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:08,839
Plus, how do I know
she wasn't one of those freaks
752
00:35:08,841 --> 00:35:11,641
born with girl
and boy parts?
753
00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:15,345
Then all the science goes
right down the drain.
754
00:35:15,347 --> 00:35:17,347
Everybody knows that.
755
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:19,683
So Gunnar
just has to train
his ass off,
756
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:21,284
and that's what Gunnar does.
757
00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:26,556
Oh, yeah, that's much better.
758
00:35:26,558 --> 00:35:28,258
Yeah, you know,
i don't see the point of this.
759
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:30,861
Uh, to strengthen your
backswing, doy!
760
00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:32,529
Hey, don't doy me.
761
00:35:32,531 --> 00:35:34,464
Okay, follow-through
is the most important thing,
762
00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:35,866
so I don't know why we're
working the friggin' backswing
763
00:35:35,868 --> 00:35:37,501
when we should be working on
follow-through.
764
00:35:37,503 --> 00:35:40,370
Jeepers, em.
No need to get all worked up.
765
00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:41,671
You just need to have
a well-rounded game.
766
00:35:41,673 --> 00:35:43,607
Yeah, I know.
767
00:35:43,609 --> 00:35:45,208
You think you can
torque the ball enough
768
00:35:45,210 --> 00:35:46,543
to take down a 5-7 split,
769
00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:48,245
or heaven forbid, a 7-10,
770
00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:51,214
with your dinky backswing?
771
00:35:51,216 --> 00:35:52,649
Jeez.
772
00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:55,519
"Jeez" is right.
No siree Bob, you can't.
773
00:35:55,521 --> 00:35:58,822
Now we don't have much time,
and we need to get you there.
774
00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:00,824
-Okay.
-Okay.
775
00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:02,926
- Eye of the tiger.
- Strike.
776
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,533
Torque it!
Torque it! Torque it!
777
00:36:09,535 --> 00:36:12,402
Strike, strike, strike,
strike, strike!
778
00:36:14,372 --> 00:36:16,673
Strike, strike, strike,
strike, strike!
779
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,615
Torque it!
Torque it! Torque it!
780
00:36:25,617 --> 00:36:27,350
93, 94, 95...
781
00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:29,686
You're doing great.
782
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:32,389
96, 97, 98, 99, 100!
783
00:36:32,391 --> 00:36:33,823
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
784
00:36:33,825 --> 00:36:35,759
Let's take it to the lanes!
785
00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:38,929
Yes, let's take it
to the lanes, also, too.
786
00:36:38,931 --> 00:36:40,463
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
787
00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:41,631
-Strike!
-Strike!
788
00:36:47,638 --> 00:36:49,339
-Whooshka!
-Order a tater tot hot dish,
789
00:36:49,341 --> 00:36:51,208
'cause she just
smashed the potatoes.
790
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:53,243
Those pins
don't stand a chance.
791
00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:56,279
Whoo!
792
00:37:04,622 --> 00:37:05,956
-Oh!
-Oh!
793
00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,290
-One more, one more.
-One more.
794
00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:08,325
Okay.
795
00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:17,367
Whoo!
796
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,541
Now are you ready
to take on Gunnar?
797
00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:26,610
Ready as I'll ever be, yes.
798
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,351
Whoo!
799
00:37:36,354 --> 00:37:38,521
This isn't just one of those
Hollywood movies
800
00:37:38,523 --> 00:37:41,858
where a girl
is just going after a man.
801
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:43,827
Unless you count the man
on the top of the trophy,
802
00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:46,763
which I guess
i kinda am going after.
803
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:48,865
Dang. Eh.
804
00:37:57,410 --> 00:37:58,575
Whoo!
805
00:37:58,577 --> 00:38:00,443
There are times
in a person's life
806
00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:02,450
where they can't lose,
807
00:38:02,470 --> 00:38:03,813
and that's me right now.
808
00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:04,948
I can't lose.
809
00:38:07,510 --> 00:38:09,653
Unless someone bowls
a higher score than me,
810
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:12,756
and then I would lose.
811
00:38:12,758 --> 00:38:16,860
But I feel real good
about that not happening.
812
00:38:16,862 --> 00:38:18,995
Probably, to me.
813
00:38:18,997 --> 00:38:21,498
Wow. Powerful stuff, em.
814
00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:28,710
Oh, yeah, I heard all right,
you betcha.
815
00:38:28,730 --> 00:38:30,730
Yeah, Emily coming back
could not be better
816
00:38:30,750 --> 00:38:31,775
for a whole slew
of reasons.
817
00:38:31,777 --> 00:38:33,410
I mean, she will bring
818
00:38:33,412 --> 00:38:35,110
literally dozens
of fans with her,
819
00:38:35,130 --> 00:38:36,579
and more people to feed
820
00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:38,810
just equals
more concession money.
821
00:38:38,830 --> 00:38:39,516
That's just
an old-fashioned
blend of math
822
00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:41,985
and common sense
right there.
823
00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:44,688
Barry,
you're five minutes late.
824
00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:45,989
But crap,
I'm 25 minutes early.
825
00:38:48,559 --> 00:38:51,270
I gotcha.
Just testing ya.
826
00:38:51,290 --> 00:38:53,730
Nah, I'm a fun boss.
827
00:38:53,732 --> 00:38:55,865
But, seriously,
we like to joke around
about here.
828
00:38:55,867 --> 00:38:57,767
So, yeah. Hey, Adam.
829
00:38:57,769 --> 00:38:59,690
Hey, you coming to
the roseau bowl this year?
830
00:38:59,710 --> 00:39:00,970
-You betcha.
-See?
831
00:39:00,972 --> 00:39:03,873
Adam hasn't been
to a roseau bowl in
three, four years.
832
00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:08,511
So not only will Emily
bring more fans with her,
833
00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:10,780
I just hope
she can get redemption
834
00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,616
from what happened
last time.
835
00:39:13,618 --> 00:39:18,688
What happened
to my cousin, her dad,
836
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:21,558
it's inexcusable.
It makes me sick.
837
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,893
- Did she tell ya about that?
- About the fart?
838
00:39:23,895 --> 00:39:26,960
Oh, no siree.
No, Gunnar--
839
00:39:26,980 --> 00:39:27,997
Gunnar, he took it
much further.
840
00:39:30,835 --> 00:39:34,671
It got ugly,
that's all I can say.
841
00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:36,973
I'll leave her to tell ya
the rest about that.
842
00:39:38,776 --> 00:39:40,710
Barry! Quit sleeping
on the job!
843
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,412
I'm not. Frickin' eyes
are wide open.
844
00:39:42,414 --> 00:39:44,147
I was putting my lunch
in the friggin' thing.
845
00:39:44,149 --> 00:39:45,915
-I'm just testing ya.
-Freakin' blueberries and--
846
00:39:45,917 --> 00:39:48,510
every stinkin' time.
Every stinkin' time.
847
00:39:55,826 --> 00:39:57,160
Warming up, baby.
848
00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:58,928
Gotta have those
game day rituals.
849
00:39:58,930 --> 00:40:00,897
How many do you have?
850
00:40:03,467 --> 00:40:04,968
How long are you guys
gonna be here?
851
00:40:04,970 --> 00:40:07,103
Because I got a friggin'
crapload of 'em.
852
00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:18,648
No, I don't anything
real special to prepare.
853
00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:21,151
I'm just grading some
papers right here,
854
00:40:21,153 --> 00:40:23,190
and I'll probably
call Donna in a bit,
855
00:40:23,210 --> 00:40:24,754
see how she's doing.
856
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,856
Honestly, it's really
just a normal day for me
857
00:40:26,858 --> 00:40:28,958
before I head on down
to the alley.
858
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,950
So you don't have any
superstitions or anything?
859
00:40:32,970 --> 00:40:33,730
Oh, gag me with a spoon.
860
00:40:44,208 --> 00:40:49,780
48, 49, 50.
861
00:40:55,586 --> 00:40:58,922
All part of the process
of being great,
862
00:40:58,924 --> 00:41:01,925
you gotta get the sugar
out of the cereal,
863
00:41:01,927 --> 00:41:04,627
but if you let it digest,
864
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:07,497
you get all
the bad carbs, too.
865
00:41:07,499 --> 00:41:08,665
A little secret
i came up with
866
00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:10,900
to get the best
of both worlds.
867
00:41:28,953 --> 00:41:30,253
50...
868
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,559
I know I have
what it takes to win.
869
00:41:36,561 --> 00:41:39,262
I've prepared
the way I need to win.
870
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:40,897
Superstitions?
871
00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:43,320
They're really just
another form of fear.
872
00:41:43,340 --> 00:41:47,203
That's a interesting way
to look at it.
873
00:41:47,205 --> 00:41:49,906
The way I see it,
if I win,
874
00:41:49,908 --> 00:41:51,908
it's 'cause
i was the best that day.
875
00:41:51,910 --> 00:41:54,744
If I lose,
it's 'cause I wasn't
good enough.
876
00:41:54,746 --> 00:41:57,614
This is the most important part
of the morning ritual.
877
00:41:57,616 --> 00:42:00,884
I gotta put
my underwear on inside out.
878
00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:02,519
Well, why's that?
879
00:42:02,521 --> 00:42:04,587
Uh, 12 years ago,
880
00:42:04,589 --> 00:42:06,256
I was on day three
of my underwear
881
00:42:06,258 --> 00:42:08,258
the day of the competition.
882
00:42:08,260 --> 00:42:10,727
Obviously,
you don't wanna smell,
883
00:42:10,729 --> 00:42:13,290
so I put them on inside out
884
00:42:13,310 --> 00:42:15,231
to squeeze one more day
out of the deal.
885
00:42:15,233 --> 00:42:18,535
That was the first time
i took home the gold.
886
00:42:18,537 --> 00:42:20,103
Ever since then,
887
00:42:20,105 --> 00:42:21,838
even if I've only
worn them one day
888
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,706
or none days,
889
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:27,644
I still turn them on inside out
the day of the tournament.
890
00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:29,746
I forgot to two times,
891
00:42:29,748 --> 00:42:32,810
and those are the two years
i got second.
892
00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:37,200
Coincidence?
No. Fact.
893
00:42:37,220 --> 00:42:39,756
You think you need to do that
to beat Emily as well?
894
00:42:39,758 --> 00:42:43,293
Ha! So funny
i forget to laugh.
895
00:42:43,295 --> 00:42:45,194
You know what?
You're right.
896
00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:47,564
I'm gonna put 'em on regular
just to prove a point.
897
00:42:49,633 --> 00:42:53,636
Eh, I probably better just
put 'em on inside out.
898
00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:57,106
I mean, I'm coming up
on day seven now.
899
00:42:57,108 --> 00:42:59,275
It has nothing
to do with Emily.
900
00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:00,977
You know, it's not gonna make
a lick of difference
901
00:43:00,979 --> 00:43:02,912
if I put on
some magical t-shirt,
902
00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:06,716
if I put
my underpants inside out,
that's just fear.
903
00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:09,218
So you know about Gunnar?
904
00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:11,120
Huh?
905
00:43:11,122 --> 00:43:12,956
Gunnar puts his
underwear inside out
906
00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:14,691
the day of the tournament.
907
00:43:14,693 --> 00:43:15,758
No.
908
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:18,995
No.
909
00:43:20,297 --> 00:43:21,764
No.
910
00:43:25,736 --> 00:43:27,337
Get outta town.
911
00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,109
No, no, no, no. No!
912
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:36,245
This is happening.
Gunnar versus Emily.
913
00:43:36,247 --> 00:43:38,381
The epic showdown
that'll make
914
00:43:38,383 --> 00:43:41,818
the federation-klingon
war of 2372
915
00:43:41,820 --> 00:43:45,321
look like the vrash slaughter
by the people of pasik.
916
00:43:45,323 --> 00:43:48,858
That's right.
Gunnar's got this.
917
00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:50,360
Me and Gunnar,
918
00:43:50,362 --> 00:43:52,862
we're gonna be the stars
of the show.
919
00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:55,640
Why you?
920
00:43:55,660 --> 00:43:56,766
Oh, you didn't--
you didn't hear?
921
00:43:56,768 --> 00:44:00,637
Um, they chose--
they chose me to be the guy
922
00:44:00,639 --> 00:44:05,141
who sings
the usa national anthem
for the bowling thing.
923
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:08,211
So, uh,
924
00:44:08,213 --> 00:44:12,181
if you guys wanted,
i could probably give you
a little sneak pre--
925
00:44:23,427 --> 00:44:24,661
Emily?
926
00:44:25,929 --> 00:44:28,398
Em?
927
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,340
Hey, em,
it's Nick.
928
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,302
Long hair don't care.
929
00:44:33,304 --> 00:44:35,710
Back hair don't care.
930
00:44:35,730 --> 00:44:37,730
Time to go
to the tournament, em.
931
00:44:37,750 --> 00:44:38,775
Time to bowl some strikes,
932
00:44:38,777 --> 00:44:40,777
get some spares.
933
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:47,150
Emily, are you all right?
934
00:44:47,152 --> 00:44:50,720
Heck no. No, I'm--
I'm sick, you know?
935
00:44:50,722 --> 00:44:52,955
I'm sicker than a dog
in an ice fishing hole.
936
00:44:52,957 --> 00:44:56,250
Yeah, hey, em,
the tournament's today.
937
00:44:56,270 --> 00:44:58,394
The big tournament.
938
00:44:58,396 --> 00:45:00,463
Did you forget
that it's today?
939
00:45:00,465 --> 00:45:03,166
-The roseau bowl?
-I know, Nick, I know.
940
00:45:03,168 --> 00:45:05,201
Okay.
941
00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:06,469
I'm, uh, you know,
942
00:45:06,471 --> 00:45:10,106
I can have bjorn
bowl in my place.
943
00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:12,341
I don't--
i don't think that's such--
944
00:45:12,343 --> 00:45:14,770
such a really good idea, em.
945
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,482
-I've got nothing else.
-Psych out, em.
946
00:45:19,484 --> 00:45:21,751
You've got you.
947
00:45:21,753 --> 00:45:24,721
Come on, I mean,
you're amazing at everything.
948
00:45:24,723 --> 00:45:27,990
And that's why I'm so thankful
for our friendship.
949
00:45:27,992 --> 00:45:29,759
And, I mean, I know
950
00:45:29,761 --> 00:45:31,894
that there's never gonna be
anything more than that,
951
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:34,230
and that's totally okay.
952
00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:36,199
You can't help
but be into babes.
953
00:45:36,201 --> 00:45:38,201
So what,
you're into babes.
954
00:45:38,203 --> 00:45:39,736
You know,
i can't blame you,
955
00:45:39,738 --> 00:45:41,504
because I'm totally
into babes.
956
00:45:41,506 --> 00:45:44,841
Babes are literally my most
favorite thing in the world.
957
00:45:44,843 --> 00:45:46,409
It's, like,
why I do anything.
958
00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:48,770
Why do I go outside?
959
00:45:48,790 --> 00:45:49,879
Uh, I don't know.
Hopefully I see a babe.
960
00:45:49,881 --> 00:45:52,415
You know,
it's like my life's motto.
961
00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:54,951
-A babe a day...
-Feeds the boner buffet.
962
00:45:54,953 --> 00:45:56,285
I know.
I helped you write that.
963
00:45:56,287 --> 00:45:58,387
But what're you
trying to say?
964
00:45:58,389 --> 00:46:01,824
I'm trying to say
that I really just love
being your friend,
965
00:46:01,826 --> 00:46:04,427
and I know you can do this.
966
00:46:04,429 --> 00:46:07,497
Whether you're sick or not,
em, I believe in you.
967
00:46:07,499 --> 00:46:09,650
-That's sweet.
-Frick yeah, it's sweet.
968
00:46:09,670 --> 00:46:11,330
I'm a frickin' sweet guy.
969
00:46:11,350 --> 00:46:13,903
You know, hey,
you remember your most
viewed vlog, right?
970
00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:15,772
Oh, jeez,
yeah, of course.
971
00:46:15,774 --> 00:46:17,974
Yeah, well, you were sick
when you were doing that, too.
972
00:46:17,976 --> 00:46:19,976
Yeah, okay, but, you know,
how does that relate?
973
00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:21,978
Well, that's the episode
that you talked about
974
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:23,980
the art of
the follow-through.
975
00:46:23,982 --> 00:46:27,517
Not just in bowling,
but in real life, too.
976
00:46:27,519 --> 00:46:29,919
You know, you've always known
how to get exactly what you want
977
00:46:29,921 --> 00:46:31,921
by just following through.
978
00:46:31,923 --> 00:46:34,190
That's why, what,
a million people or so
979
00:46:34,192 --> 00:46:36,559
have watched that episode
when like most
980
00:46:36,561 --> 00:46:38,895
have barely
gotten a hundred.
981
00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:40,530
Okay, Nick,
that's not why all those people
982
00:46:40,532 --> 00:46:43,499
-watched that video.
-Oh, really?
983
00:46:43,501 --> 00:46:46,435
Yeah, that's the episode
where my boob popped out
for nearly a minute.
984
00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:48,571
-That's right, 54 seconds.
-You know, I didn't even know
985
00:46:48,573 --> 00:46:50,373
my boob popped out until
i saw that video had over
986
00:46:50,375 --> 00:46:52,375
-a hundred thousand views.
-Yeah, the video got so big
987
00:46:52,377 --> 00:46:54,477
because know how
to follow through.
988
00:46:54,479 --> 00:46:56,479
I mean, it's like,
no matter how sick you get
989
00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:58,347
or how long your titty
hangs out of your shirt,
990
00:46:58,349 --> 00:47:00,216
you just keep going.
991
00:47:00,218 --> 00:47:01,984
You know,
you're so dedicated.
992
00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:05,955
Look, em, it's like,
know matter what you decide,
993
00:47:05,957 --> 00:47:08,457
I'm always gonna be
in your corner, all right?
994
00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:11,861
I appreciate it.
995
00:47:11,863 --> 00:47:14,831
Um, but i--
you know, I...
996
00:47:16,433 --> 00:47:18,534
I just don't think
i can do it.
997
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:20,903
Em, I know you can do it.
998
00:47:20,905 --> 00:47:22,405
I hope you change your mind.
999
00:47:28,979 --> 00:47:30,413
All right, get outta here.
1000
00:47:30,415 --> 00:47:31,547
Okay.
1001
00:47:49,466 --> 00:47:51,167
Hey there, Barry.
1002
00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:54,503
Cash drawer come out on point
three days in a row?
1003
00:47:56,274 --> 00:47:58,541
Ah, jeez. Hello?
1004
00:47:58,543 --> 00:48:02,478
This illness really
hit you quickly.
1005
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,448
Yeah. I, uh,
1006
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,317
I suppose it did.
1007
00:48:08,319 --> 00:48:09,619
I guess we should
probably get going
1008
00:48:09,621 --> 00:48:11,870
so we don't catch anything.
1009
00:48:14,240 --> 00:48:16,325
No, you'll--
1010
00:48:16,327 --> 00:48:17,894
you'll be fine.
1011
00:48:20,300 --> 00:48:22,365
Ugh. I just got a call
from Nick.
1012
00:48:22,367 --> 00:48:25,635
He says
I'm supposed to bowl
in em's place.
1013
00:48:25,637 --> 00:48:28,370
Gosh, she's sick or something?
I don't know.
1014
00:48:28,390 --> 00:48:30,606
Must be some kinda doofus
taking crazy pills
1015
00:48:30,608 --> 00:48:32,909
to think I can bowl
in a tournament like that.
1016
00:48:32,911 --> 00:48:35,111
We got people coming in
from friggin' anoka
1017
00:48:35,113 --> 00:48:37,980
and friggin' Blaine
and friggin' coon rapids.
1018
00:48:37,982 --> 00:48:39,382
I was just thinkin'
about my dad.
1019
00:48:41,518 --> 00:48:43,452
Where is he now?
1020
00:48:47,357 --> 00:48:50,192
-Dead.
-Oh.
1021
00:48:50,194 --> 00:48:52,228
I'm so sorry.
1022
00:48:56,990 --> 00:49:00,269
You know, Gunnar was just
pushing and pushing...
1023
00:49:00,271 --> 00:49:02,104
And the mooning
and the farting...
1024
00:49:05,275 --> 00:49:07,543
You know, as if I didn't
already feel bad enough
1025
00:49:07,545 --> 00:49:09,545
about losing, you know?
1026
00:49:09,547 --> 00:49:12,181
He had to go and make it
infinity times worse.
1027
00:49:16,353 --> 00:49:19,422
And, uh--
1028
00:49:19,424 --> 00:49:21,290
and, uh,
my dad stepped in.
1029
00:49:24,728 --> 00:49:27,430
But, uh,
1030
00:49:27,432 --> 00:49:30,266
I think he musta got
overheated or something...
1031
00:49:33,300 --> 00:49:35,972
And, uh--
1032
00:49:35,974 --> 00:49:38,740
you know, in his heart
because...
1033
00:49:42,579 --> 00:49:44,347
He had a heart attack.
1034
00:49:47,584 --> 00:49:48,718
And he...
1035
00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:53,622
He died.
1036
00:50:02,566 --> 00:50:04,233
I'm sorry.
1037
00:50:09,706 --> 00:50:13,542
He was by best friend
in the world,
1038
00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,745
and it's my fault
that he died.
1039
00:50:18,482 --> 00:50:20,649
Bro!
1040
00:50:20,651 --> 00:50:22,118
Your bowler's
not here yet.
1041
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:23,586
-Yeah.
-Where's Emily?
1042
00:50:23,588 --> 00:50:26,122
I'm talking about you.
We got bad news, bro.
1043
00:50:26,124 --> 00:50:27,456
Well, yeah,
you're telling me.
1044
00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:29,658
There's literally,
i don't know,
1045
00:50:29,660 --> 00:50:31,660
tens of people here
to see the big showdown.
1046
00:50:31,662 --> 00:50:33,262
Yeah, that's the thing.
1047
00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:34,497
There's not gonna be
a big showdown, man.
1048
00:50:34,499 --> 00:50:36,665
Emily's sick.
1049
00:50:36,667 --> 00:50:38,534
No kidding?
1050
00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:40,690
Yeah, man,
dead serious, bro.
1051
00:50:40,710 --> 00:50:42,738
Oh, jeez.
1052
00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:44,340
-Oh, jeez.
-Yeah. Oh, jeez, is right.
1053
00:50:44,342 --> 00:50:46,175
I just hope she's okay.
1054
00:50:46,177 --> 00:50:48,611
Yeah, I just hope these people
stick around long enough...
1055
00:50:51,181 --> 00:50:53,682
For nothing.
1056
00:50:53,684 --> 00:50:56,452
I frigging stocked concessions
plum full for this.
1057
00:50:59,189 --> 00:51:00,489
Well, scram!
1058
00:51:13,371 --> 00:51:15,704
Attention, everyone.
1059
00:51:15,706 --> 00:51:17,706
Emily will not be making it
to the tournament.
1060
00:51:20,780 --> 00:51:23,412
Look, be sure to ease
your sorrows, um,
1061
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:26,820
with an ice cold fountain drink
or a nice hot "pretzable",
1062
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,584
available at the, um,
1063
00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:31,720
right over there
at the concession stand.
1064
00:51:31,722 --> 00:51:35,910
Look, this news is sure sour,
so get something sweet,
1065
00:51:35,930 --> 00:51:36,826
like a candy bar
or maybe some Taffy.
1066
00:51:36,828 --> 00:51:38,461
You can also
upgrade any meal
1067
00:51:38,463 --> 00:51:40,796
with an order of nice
hot seasoned fries.
1068
00:51:45,735 --> 00:51:48,404
Anywho, we're gonna
go ahead and get started
with the tournament.
1069
00:51:48,406 --> 00:51:49,872
Let's, uh,
1070
00:51:49,874 --> 00:51:53,375
have Barry Williams here
to sing the national anthem.
1071
00:52:02,820 --> 00:52:06,255
hey, em, I hear
you're feeling real junky.
1072
00:52:06,257 --> 00:52:09,592
Yeah, yeah,
you know, I, uh,
1073
00:52:09,594 --> 00:52:12,461
got a real bad sinus infection
in my lower abdomen,
1074
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:15,631
and, uh, it's real bad,
you know?
1075
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,633
You ain't sick, are ya?
1076
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:21,604
I mean, those tissues aren't
from blowing your nose.
1077
00:52:30,614 --> 00:52:32,481
What happened to dad
wasn't your fault.
1078
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:34,550
-I know, but i--
-plus, let's not pretend
1079
00:52:34,552 --> 00:52:36,552
he was exactly
the picture of health.
1080
00:52:36,554 --> 00:52:38,521
Well, a three-time
schnitzel-eating champion
never is.
1081
00:52:38,523 --> 00:52:41,590
No. Look, em,
1082
00:52:41,592 --> 00:52:44,460
dad would want you to bowl.
1083
00:52:44,462 --> 00:52:46,562
So what'd you say?
1084
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:53,602
And we are underway, fans.
1085
00:52:53,604 --> 00:52:56,305
I am Alan Johnson,
owner of this beautiful
establishment,
1086
00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:59,642
and alongside me as always,
the gorgeous vocal minority
1087
00:52:59,644 --> 00:53:02,578
and my brother
from another mother, Johnny.
1088
00:53:02,580 --> 00:53:04,914
Yeah, see, our dad couldn't
keep it in his pants.
1089
00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:07,683
Looks like today's the day
there's gonna be a bowling game.
1090
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:09,318
Excellent color there, Johnny.
1091
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,819
Might I add, the suit
looks amazing on you,
1092
00:53:10,821 --> 00:53:12,888
as it has the last
seven days in a row.
1093
00:53:12,890 --> 00:53:15,257
Well, you don't make a trip
all the way to mall of America
1094
00:53:15,259 --> 00:53:16,892
-just for cargo shorts.
-You certainly don't.
1095
00:53:16,894 --> 00:53:18,661
Let's get down to the floor.
1096
00:53:25,635 --> 00:53:27,403
And a perfect strike
for Gunnar.
1097
00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:30,639
Two more of those, and he is
out of the competition.
1098
00:53:30,641 --> 00:53:33,242
-No, that's a Turkey.
-I'm not actually doing
meat right now.
1099
00:53:33,244 --> 00:53:35,444
-I'm kind of on a cleanse.
-Well, it's working.
1100
00:53:35,446 --> 00:53:38,380
-You look fantastic.
-My bowels feel amazing.
1101
00:53:40,350 --> 00:53:42,284
-Hey! Hey, Emily's here.
-What?
1102
00:53:42,286 --> 00:53:45,387
No. No.
Can you believe Emily
showed up?
1103
00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:48,557
Absolutely,
I'm looking right at her.
1104
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:51,227
-Sorry I'm late.
-A little too late really.
1105
00:53:51,229 --> 00:53:53,362
-Ooh. Right-o.
-Shut up, Johnny.
1106
00:53:53,364 --> 00:53:54,763
Sorry.
We already started.
1107
00:53:54,765 --> 00:53:56,232
-I'm really not sorry.
-It's true.
1108
00:53:56,234 --> 00:53:58,300
We actually
did start already.
1109
00:53:58,302 --> 00:54:00,302
-Well, has everyone
bowled yet?
-Just me, toots.
1110
00:54:00,304 --> 00:54:01,837
Strike.
1111
00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,272
The rules state
that as long as
1112
00:54:03,274 --> 00:54:05,474
no bowler has bowled
two frames,
1113
00:54:05,476 --> 00:54:08,244
new competitors
are permitted to join
the competition
1114
00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:09,912
with the majority vote
of all bowlers
1115
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,714
and permission
from the commissioner.
1116
00:54:11,716 --> 00:54:13,515
-Let me see that.
-No, that's not the rule book.
1117
00:54:13,517 --> 00:54:15,170
It's, uh, "sisterhood
of the traveling pants."
1118
00:54:15,190 --> 00:54:18,554
-No spoilers.
-You know I've got no problem.
1119
00:54:18,556 --> 00:54:20,723
Thirsty for a showdown?
Hurry up and quench that thirst
1120
00:54:20,725 --> 00:54:21,991
right now with
a ice cold fountain drink
1121
00:54:21,993 --> 00:54:24,260
available at
the concession stand.
1122
00:54:24,262 --> 00:54:26,262
This is ridiculous!
I'm trying to have
a tournament here!
1123
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:27,930
The only thing
that's ridiculous
is the savings
1124
00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:30,633
when you buy
a jumbo cheese pretzel
or nachos
1125
00:54:30,635 --> 00:54:32,968
available right now
at the concession stand.
1126
00:54:32,970 --> 00:54:35,337
What's the matter, Gunnar?
You look scared.
1127
00:54:35,339 --> 00:54:37,740
I mean, I would be, too,
if I were you.
1128
00:54:37,742 --> 00:54:41,310
-I'm not afraid of nothing.
-So you are afraid of something.
1129
00:54:41,312 --> 00:54:43,312
No. I just said
"I'm not afraid of nothing."
1130
00:54:43,314 --> 00:54:44,680
You just used
a double-negative,
1131
00:54:44,682 --> 00:54:46,348
thus turning it
into a positive,
1132
00:54:46,350 --> 00:54:48,550
which translates to
"i am scared of something."
1133
00:54:48,552 --> 00:54:51,553
So you are scared of something.
We wanna know what it is.
1134
00:54:51,555 --> 00:54:53,322
Yeah, you know,
he's not wrong.
1135
00:54:53,324 --> 00:54:54,957
It's bees, isn't it?
I'm scared of bees, too.
1136
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:56,825
I'm not even
allergic or anything.
1137
00:54:56,827 --> 00:54:58,994
-I just hate getting stung.
-Getting stung is the worst.
1138
00:54:58,996 --> 00:55:01,300
Right? And the swelling
and the itching--
1139
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:02,731
-all right!
Get the vote already!
-You heard the man.
1140
00:55:02,733 --> 00:55:05,670
All bowlers in favor of Emily
joining the competition
1141
00:55:05,690 --> 00:55:07,636
-just say "aye."
-Aye.
1142
00:55:07,638 --> 00:55:09,972
-Aye.
-No!
1143
00:55:09,974 --> 00:55:12,675
An overwhelming majority.
Let's get started, folks.
1144
00:55:12,677 --> 00:55:14,710
Fine, but be prepared
to be dominated.
1145
00:55:14,712 --> 00:55:17,313
I'm not taking it
easy on nobody.
1146
00:55:17,315 --> 00:55:19,982
So he is taking it easy
on somebody.
1147
00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:21,850
Stay tuned
to find out whom.
1148
00:55:21,852 --> 00:55:24,853
Shut up, Johnny.
Start speaking American.
1149
00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:26,622
You're gonna get it, Emily!
1150
00:55:34,965 --> 00:55:36,498
ski-u-mah!
1151
00:55:55,553 --> 00:55:58,721
Gunnar and Emily have really
run away with it.
1152
00:55:58,723 --> 00:56:01,423
Ninth frame,
Gunnar leads by seven pins.
1153
00:56:01,425 --> 00:56:03,792
-Emily needs a miracle here.
-She certainly does.
1154
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:05,728
Either that or to pick up
1155
00:56:05,730 --> 00:56:08,397
eight more points than Gunnar
on the next two boxes.
1156
00:56:08,399 --> 00:56:11,100
-I believe that would
do the trick as well.
-It absolutely would.
1157
00:56:11,102 --> 00:56:13,535
It absolutely would.
Let's get right back into it.
1158
00:56:18,409 --> 00:56:20,909
oh! Friggin' no!
1159
00:56:20,911 --> 00:56:23,512
-Gunnar does not
like the looks of that.
-Is it possible
1160
00:56:23,514 --> 00:56:24,847
there was something
strategic
1161
00:56:24,849 --> 00:56:26,815
about leaving those
two pins there?
1162
00:56:26,817 --> 00:56:28,417
Perhaps he's planning
for a future move,
1163
00:56:28,419 --> 00:56:29,752
and this is a setup.
1164
00:56:29,754 --> 00:56:31,720
Anything along those lines
possible at all?
1165
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,922
-Absolutely not.
-Right-o.
1166
00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:35,791
Here comes Emily,
her chances, although grim,
1167
00:56:35,793 --> 00:56:38,127
not quite eliminated
from the game mathematically.
1168
00:56:38,129 --> 00:56:39,962
I was actually
in Emily's math class.
1169
00:56:39,964 --> 00:56:41,163
And though not quite
half a tard,
1170
00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:43,799
certainly no
straight-a student.
1171
00:56:53,430 --> 00:56:54,877
shoot.
Emily just barely misses
1172
00:56:54,879 --> 00:56:56,712
-that strike.
-Mmm, perhaps
1173
00:56:56,714 --> 00:56:59,581
if she'd taken it just
a bee's dick to the left,
1174
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:01,450
she would've picked up
that last pin.
1175
00:57:01,452 --> 00:57:03,185
That would be
a higher score.
1176
00:57:03,187 --> 00:57:05,888
Great job
with your numbers,
Johnny.
1177
00:57:05,890 --> 00:57:07,589
Here comes Gunnar
to open up the tenth frame.
1178
00:57:14,980 --> 00:57:16,832
-He scores!
-Like a tater tot hot dish,
1179
00:57:16,834 --> 00:57:20,202
-that is yummy.
-Smells like victory.
1180
00:57:20,204 --> 00:57:23,172
No, you smell bad,
and I'm being serious.
1181
00:57:23,174 --> 00:57:25,707
Maybe I beefed.
Deal with it.
1182
00:57:25,709 --> 00:57:27,576
Whoo!
1183
00:57:27,578 --> 00:57:29,545
Friggin' gross.
1184
00:57:36,860 --> 00:57:38,954
another strike.
Unbelievable.
1185
00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:41,890
I have not seen
dance moves like that
1186
00:57:41,910 --> 00:57:43,592
since the last time
our dad got remarried...
1187
00:57:43,594 --> 00:57:45,160
-Again.
-That is spot on.
1188
00:57:45,162 --> 00:57:46,862
Gunnar looks to put
the final nail in the coffin
1189
00:57:56,730 --> 00:57:57,940
Closed out the game
with a Turkey.
1190
00:57:57,942 --> 00:58:00,108
Emily will take
an easy second place,
1191
00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:02,644
but it's no longer possible
for her to win game one.
1192
00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:05,814
-Yes, she would need a miracle.
-No, she literally can't win.
1193
00:58:05,816 --> 00:58:07,490
Exactly.
1194
00:58:22,799 --> 00:58:25,667
I didn't know
you were gonna make it
so easy for me.
1195
00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:28,504
Oh, yeah? Well,
I'm all warmed up now.
1196
00:58:28,506 --> 00:58:31,773
So you're going downtown,
buster brown.
1197
00:58:31,775 --> 00:58:34,743
Hah! You keep bowling
like a can of rotten lutefisk,
1198
00:58:34,745 --> 00:58:36,745
the only thing
going down is you
1199
00:58:36,747 --> 00:58:38,547
-into the trash can.
-Yeah?
1200
00:58:38,549 --> 00:58:41,216
Well, at least I don't
smell like rotten lutefisk.
1201
00:58:41,218 --> 00:58:43,218
You're always eatin' it,
1202
00:58:43,220 --> 00:58:45,220
when it's rotten,
probably.
1203
00:58:45,222 --> 00:58:48,230
Ooh, shots fired.
1204
00:59:21,992 --> 00:59:23,992
all right,
this is it, em.
1205
00:59:23,994 --> 00:59:25,661
I believe in ya.
1206
00:59:27,196 --> 00:59:29,197
I don't--
1207
00:59:29,199 --> 00:59:31,733
I don't think
i can beat him.
1208
00:59:31,735 --> 00:59:33,100
There's nobody
on this planet
1209
00:59:33,300 --> 00:59:35,137
I believe in
more than you,
1210
00:59:35,139 --> 00:59:37,205
and I met
Leonard nimoy once.
1211
00:59:37,207 --> 00:59:38,874
And if he were
to show up to this thing,
1212
00:59:38,876 --> 00:59:41,430
I'd still
believe in you more.
1213
00:59:41,450 --> 00:59:42,811
I mean, it'd be close,
but, uh,
1214
00:59:42,813 --> 00:59:44,120
you'd take the cake.
1215
00:59:44,140 --> 00:59:46,214
Leonard nimoy's dead.
1216
00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:48,584
-What?
-Yeah.
1217
00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:52,220
Well then,
some other star that
has what it takes
1218
00:59:52,222 --> 00:59:54,356
to pull through
when the odds are against 'em,
1219
00:59:54,358 --> 00:59:56,124
like, uh, Whitney Houston.
1220
00:59:56,126 --> 00:59:58,327
What I'm tryin' to say is
you have it in ya.
1221
00:59:58,329 --> 01:00:00,195
You always have.
1222
01:00:00,197 --> 01:00:02,631
And just like
miss Houston herself,
1223
01:00:02,633 --> 01:00:05,167
you will
continue to succeed
for years to come.
1224
01:00:05,169 --> 01:00:08,300
Bobby brown
can't keep you down.
1225
01:00:08,500 --> 01:00:09,871
It's time to get some.
1226
01:00:12,676 --> 01:00:15,770
and we are back,
round two of three.
1227
01:00:15,790 --> 01:00:18,800
If Gunnar wins this one,
it's all over.
1228
01:00:27,658 --> 01:00:30,993
fair dinkum!
That was an absolute Pearl.
1229
01:00:36,734 --> 01:00:38,900
to pick up his game before
he lets this one slip away.
1230
01:00:38,902 --> 01:00:41,903
-He is bowling
like a real dick.
-I can hear you.
1231
01:01:09,990 --> 01:01:11,990
wow. That's two in a row
for Emily.
1232
01:01:11,101 --> 01:01:13,101
She is perfect so far.
1233
01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:15,270
Imagine what Emily's score
might be if she continues
1234
01:01:15,272 --> 01:01:17,739
this perfect streak
all the way through.
1235
01:01:17,741 --> 01:01:19,775
-300
-close to what
i would assume,
1236
01:01:19,777 --> 01:01:22,770
but there's no way of
knowing for sure.
1237
01:01:27,351 --> 01:01:29,451
and another strike for Emily.
1238
01:01:29,453 --> 01:01:32,821
-Halfway through,
and she's still perfect.
-It is safe to say
1239
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:34,823
that Emily
is the Serena Williams
1240
01:01:34,825 --> 01:01:36,792
of awkward
white people sports.
1241
01:01:36,794 --> 01:01:39,227
She certainly is,
and she is phenomenal.
1242
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,149
Emily's got this one
in the bag.
1243
01:02:01,151 --> 01:02:03,180
We are going
to a third, folks.
1244
01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:05,187
Whoo! Nice!
1245
01:02:05,189 --> 01:02:07,756
I knew you could do it.
I knew you could do it.
1246
01:02:07,758 --> 01:02:09,758
You know,
I'm starting to believe in me
like you believe in me.
1247
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:11,590
You should.
I mean, you're amazing.
1248
01:02:11,610 --> 01:02:13,929
-All luck, all luck.
-All luck?
1249
01:02:13,931 --> 01:02:15,397
Hah! My butt.
1250
01:02:15,399 --> 01:02:17,265
You want me to go
"Batman forever" on your ass?
1251
01:02:17,267 --> 01:02:19,401
-Hey! Hey! Hey!
-Make your face
look like seal?
1252
01:02:19,403 --> 01:02:21,803
-You're about to get
a kiss from a rose.
-That is not cool.
1253
01:02:21,805 --> 01:02:23,171
Seal's skin is like that
from a disease.
1254
01:02:23,173 --> 01:02:24,806
Pretty sure
it's from a shark attack.
1255
01:02:24,808 --> 01:02:26,475
That's where
he got his nickname "seal."
1256
01:02:26,477 --> 01:02:29,845
-Uh, seal has lupus.
-Then how can he walk?
1257
01:02:29,847 --> 01:02:31,513
He get better doctors
than president Roosevelt?
1258
01:02:31,515 --> 01:02:35,283
-Uh, f.D.R. Had polio.
-Yeah? You have polio,
1259
01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:38,787
and I'm a shark about to attack,
and you're nothing but a seal
1260
01:02:38,789 --> 01:02:40,956
-without all
the killer slow jams.
-You know what?
1261
01:02:40,958 --> 01:02:43,580
-You're a friggin' idiot.
-I might be an idiot,
1262
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:45,227
but at least I'm not gonna
choke in the last game.
1263
01:02:45,229 --> 01:02:48,430
You done it before,
you'll do it again.
Everybody knows it.
1264
01:02:48,432 --> 01:02:51,133
Then you'll have to go away
and hide for another five years.
1265
01:02:52,870 --> 01:02:55,837
Also, I'm not an idiot.
1266
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:56,310
three frames into round three,
and Gunnar is sitting perfect.
1267
01:03:56,330 --> 01:03:57,599
Meanwhile,
Emily seems to have
1268
01:03:57,601 --> 01:04:00,101
lost her steam from round two
with two spares
1269
01:04:00,103 --> 01:04:01,469
and failing
to close out a third.
1270
01:04:07,977 --> 01:04:10,979
How goes it, em?
1271
01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:13,982
-It's fine. You?
-Ah, pretty good.
1272
01:04:13,984 --> 01:04:15,483
Uh, it's a little colder
than I'd like,
1273
01:04:15,485 --> 01:04:16,952
but that Minnesota for ya.
1274
01:04:16,954 --> 01:04:19,540
Ahem.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
1275
01:04:20,957 --> 01:04:22,290
Is there
something you wanted?
1276
01:04:22,292 --> 01:04:23,992
Yeah, I, uh,
1277
01:04:23,994 --> 01:04:26,962
I just want to talk to you
about all this.
1278
01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:28,897
-Yeah.
-Look.
1279
01:04:28,899 --> 01:04:30,432
You're the best bowler
I've ever seen,
1280
01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:33,201
on and off the lanes.
1281
01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:36,370
-Thanks.
-No, I mean it, em.
1282
01:04:36,390 --> 01:04:38,390
You can do this,
all right?
1283
01:04:38,410 --> 01:04:40,542
You just need to remember
who you're doing it for.
1284
01:04:40,544 --> 01:04:42,544
Yeah.
1285
01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:44,145
Okay, yeah, pops.
1286
01:04:44,147 --> 01:04:46,348
-Yeah.
-No.
1287
01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:48,490
You need to do this for you.
1288
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:50,385
Your whole life,
all you do is give.
1289
01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:52,320
You wasted your time
with Donna,
1290
01:04:52,322 --> 01:04:55,624
and god bless her heart,
she friggin' stinks.
1291
01:04:55,626 --> 01:04:58,460
So screw Gunnar
and screw the other bowlers.
1292
01:04:58,462 --> 01:05:00,128
This is for you,
1293
01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:02,330
because that's what dad
would want.
1294
01:05:02,332 --> 01:05:04,499
Okay?
1295
01:05:04,501 --> 01:05:06,968
-Yeah.
-All right.
1296
01:05:06,970 --> 01:05:08,970
Go get him.
1297
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:51,346
I have never seen
anything like this.
1298
01:05:51,348 --> 01:05:54,716
-She is a woman on a mission.
-Speaking of missions,
1299
01:05:54,718 --> 01:05:56,217
if you're on the way back
from the bathroom,
1300
01:05:56,219 --> 01:05:57,485
stop at
the concession stand
1301
01:05:57,487 --> 01:05:59,521
for the new kosher
Polish corn dogs.
1302
01:05:59,523 --> 01:06:01,122
They're delicious.
1303
01:06:07,230 --> 01:06:09,230
Gunnar seems to be feeling
the pressure.
1304
01:06:09,232 --> 01:06:12,100
He seems to have lost focus.
1305
01:06:12,102 --> 01:06:14,102
Is that a thing
that's important in bowling?
I imagine it is.
1306
01:06:14,104 --> 01:06:16,438
It most definitely is,
Johnny, yeah.
1307
01:06:23,380 --> 01:06:25,800
And another strike
for Emily.
1308
01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:27,415
We are witnessing
roseau bowl history.
1309
01:06:27,417 --> 01:06:28,750
That sounds more grandiose
1310
01:06:28,752 --> 01:06:32,530
than I assume it is
in real life.
1311
01:06:37,361 --> 01:06:39,594
-That is how you bowl!
-That is how you bowl!
1312
01:06:39,596 --> 01:06:41,229
She's unstoppable.
A slow start,
1313
01:06:41,231 --> 01:06:43,198
but has bowled perfect
since that third frame.
1314
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,533
Well, there's only
one little box thing left
1315
01:06:45,535 --> 01:06:48,690
and their scores
are pretty close,
is that fair to say?
1316
01:06:48,710 --> 01:06:50,710
Yes, Johnny,
they are all tied up.
1317
01:06:50,730 --> 01:06:51,606
That sounds really close.
1318
01:06:51,608 --> 01:06:54,209
Is it ever.
Gunnar will bowl first.
1319
01:07:18,602 --> 01:07:21,469
He does look
disappointed though.
1320
01:07:21,471 --> 01:07:24,472
Probably wishes
he'd hit all the pins
on that last one.
1321
01:07:24,474 --> 01:07:25,807
That's my best guess anyway.
1322
01:07:25,809 --> 01:07:27,675
Nothing escapes
my brother Johnny.
1323
01:07:27,677 --> 01:07:29,377
Here comes Emily.
1324
01:07:45,328 --> 01:07:47,662
you little beauty.
1325
01:07:47,664 --> 01:07:50,632
Check out Emily.
Hoo-hoo, wow!
1326
01:07:50,634 --> 01:07:52,167
One down, two to go.
1327
01:07:59,142 --> 01:08:00,608
I don't believe this.
1328
01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:08,516
are you having fun?
1329
01:08:10,753 --> 01:08:12,870
Yeah.
1330
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,290
-For dad.
-All right, you got this.
1331
01:08:35,811 --> 01:08:38,613
yeah!
1332
01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:40,548
She has done it.
1333
01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:43,251
She has won
the open bracket
championship
1334
01:08:43,253 --> 01:08:46,588
and redemption
for her father,
my cousin.
1335
01:08:46,590 --> 01:08:48,389
Stop by
the concession stand
to celebrate
1336
01:08:48,391 --> 01:08:51,693
with a licorice rope
or an ice cold fountain drink.
1337
01:08:51,695 --> 01:08:54,229
They're not on sale.
We just have plenty available.
1338
01:08:54,231 --> 01:08:57,665
And it is all over,
i hope, anyway.
1339
01:08:57,667 --> 01:08:59,200
I've got some where to be.
1340
01:09:01,638 --> 01:09:03,571
yeah, Emily!
1341
01:09:07,776 --> 01:09:09,277
You did it.
1342
01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:12,447
-Whoo! Yeah!
-Whoo!
1343
01:09:12,449 --> 01:09:15,316
You friggin' cheated!
1344
01:09:15,318 --> 01:09:17,886
You cheated.
Everybody knows that.
1345
01:09:17,888 --> 01:09:21,789
-I won that fair and square.
-Okay, whatever, Gunnar.
Have a nice day.
1346
01:09:21,791 --> 01:09:23,691
Nine out of ten times
i catch you cheating.
1347
01:09:23,693 --> 01:09:27,228
-You're a friggin' cheater.
-Celebration subs for everyone.
1348
01:09:27,230 --> 01:09:28,596
-I love subs.
-Whoo!
1349
01:09:28,598 --> 01:09:29,864
-Whoo!
-Strike!
1350
01:09:42,878 --> 01:09:45,580
oh, jeez,
has it felt good.
1351
01:09:45,582 --> 01:09:47,315
The publicity from winning
the roseau bowl
1352
01:09:47,317 --> 01:09:49,317
has been overwhelming.
1353
01:09:49,319 --> 01:09:52,820
I mean, I had nearly
six strangers send me
congrats flowers.
1354
01:09:52,822 --> 01:09:55,356
So, yeah, pretty nuts.
1355
01:09:55,358 --> 01:09:58,726
And, oh, jeez.
It didn't stop there either,
no siree.
1356
01:09:58,728 --> 01:10:02,197
My video blog has taken off
like nobody's business.
1357
01:10:02,199 --> 01:10:03,531
It's paying the bill now,
you know?
1358
01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:06,534
So I got to quit
my teaching job.
1359
01:10:06,536 --> 01:10:08,303
And now I have
so much free time
to train Donna
1360
01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:11,372
to win next year's
roseau bowl.
1361
01:10:11,374 --> 01:10:14,375
And bjorn
has been training me
1362
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:17,412
to win this year's
national championship.
1363
01:10:17,414 --> 01:10:20,748
Bomb dropped.
1364
01:10:20,750 --> 01:10:22,684
Six months, huh?
1365
01:10:22,686 --> 01:10:25,553
Seems longer behind bars.
1366
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,889
You went to jail?
1367
01:10:27,891 --> 01:10:31,726
Yeah, the night
of the tournament,
i got drunk.
1368
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:33,595
I don't mean like
a couple drinks too many
1369
01:10:33,597 --> 01:10:35,597
I shouldn't drive
my truck home drunk.
1370
01:10:35,599 --> 01:10:36,931
I mean, like,
1371
01:10:36,933 --> 01:10:39,300
blacked out,
wake up outside
1372
01:10:39,302 --> 01:10:40,969
with a goat chained
around your leg
1373
01:10:40,971 --> 01:10:43,972
and a toilet cake
in your shirt pocket
kinda drunk.
1374
01:10:43,974 --> 01:10:46,507
In my case, instead of
waking up outside,
1375
01:10:46,509 --> 01:10:48,509
I woke up
in the drunk tank.
1376
01:10:48,511 --> 01:10:51,379
And instead of a toilet cake
in my shirt pocket,
1377
01:10:51,381 --> 01:10:53,514
I just didn't have
any pants on.
1378
01:10:53,516 --> 01:10:56,384
And, uh, the goat?
1379
01:10:56,386 --> 01:10:58,519
No, that happened.
1380
01:10:58,521 --> 01:11:01,856
Anywho, I always heard
that when you're in jail
1381
01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:04,259
you gotta beat up
the biggest guy in there
1382
01:11:04,261 --> 01:11:07,495
so you don't become
a prison.
1383
01:11:07,497 --> 01:11:10,665
I coulda sworn
she was a guy,
1384
01:11:10,667 --> 01:11:14,200
you know, coming from
a costume party or something.
1385
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:17,872
Apparently,
that police uniform
was very real,
1386
01:11:17,874 --> 01:11:22,430
and so was her night stick,
her pepper spray, her taser,
1387
01:11:22,450 --> 01:11:23,845
her k-9 unit.
1388
01:11:26,415 --> 01:11:27,915
After I healed up,
1389
01:11:27,917 --> 01:11:30,585
I got five months
for assault on an officer.
1390
01:11:30,587 --> 01:11:32,287
Which is kinda bull ,
1391
01:11:32,289 --> 01:11:34,689
because even though
i threw the first punch,
1392
01:11:34,691 --> 01:11:36,591
it didn't even land.
1393
01:11:36,593 --> 01:11:38,726
Oh, boy, were we excited
for Emily to win.
1394
01:11:38,728 --> 01:11:41,529
And, uh, we've been keeping
pretty busy since then, too.
1395
01:11:41,531 --> 01:11:46,434
I found a bird outside,
and it was almost dead.
1396
01:11:46,436 --> 01:11:47,735
I nursed it back to health.
1397
01:11:47,737 --> 01:11:49,604
Kept it in the house
for a week.
1398
01:11:49,606 --> 01:11:51,439
-Yep.
-And then I let it go.
1399
01:11:51,441 --> 01:11:53,308
And that's what you gotta do.
You gotta let them fly.
1400
01:11:53,310 --> 01:11:54,909
-Yeah, yeah.
-Not gonna keep him
for a pet,
1401
01:11:54,911 --> 01:11:56,544
but I nursed it
back to health.
1402
01:11:56,546 --> 01:11:58,790
You did,
and then you shooed it out
with a broom.
1403
01:11:58,810 --> 01:12:00,448
Yeah, and then I shooed.
I said, "shoo! Shoo!
1404
01:12:00,450 --> 01:12:02,517
-Go on now, go!"
-Didn't want to leave
1405
01:12:02,519 --> 01:12:04,886
-'cause it loved her so much.
-Yeah. See that now?
1406
01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:06,654
-They'll bond with me.
-Absolutely.
1407
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:09,570
She used that tough love,
got herself a broom,
1408
01:12:09,590 --> 01:12:10,491
shooed that bird
outta the house.
1409
01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:12,930
You gotta push
the bird outta the nest.
1410
01:12:12,950 --> 01:12:13,895
-That's what they say.
-Absolutely.
1411
01:12:13,897 --> 01:12:16,397
So we're thinking about
adopting, you know?
1412
01:12:16,399 --> 01:12:19,734
You guys were clearly
in for a pretty big treat
1413
01:12:19,736 --> 01:12:21,336
when you got to hear me
1414
01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:26,341
sing the usa anthem
at the bowling alley.
1415
01:12:26,343 --> 01:12:30,745
But, like, sure,
there were some freakin' jerks
1416
01:12:30,747 --> 01:12:34,349
just like saying
stupid crap on YouTube.
1417
01:12:34,351 --> 01:12:36,351
Like, whatever.
1418
01:12:36,353 --> 01:12:38,353
I'm just gonna
keep living fancy,
1419
01:12:38,355 --> 01:12:44,125
'cause I got some real hype
behind me from that, too.
1420
01:12:44,127 --> 01:12:48,996
I got to sing the usa anthem
at the St. Paul saints game.
1421
01:12:48,998 --> 01:12:52,367
So would
a freakin' cheeseknob
get to do that,
1422
01:12:52,369 --> 01:12:54,502
mister @cmchfx?
1423
01:12:56,872 --> 01:12:59,400
Probably not.
1424
01:12:59,420 --> 01:13:01,743
Um, if you guys wanted,
1425
01:13:01,745 --> 01:13:03,745
I could probably
get you a tape
1426
01:13:03,747 --> 01:13:06,147
of me doing
that singing thing
1427
01:13:06,149 --> 01:13:08,683
for you to use
inside your movie.
1428
01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:10,151
Nah, we're good.
1429
01:13:14,220 --> 01:13:15,556
On a bright note,
1430
01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:17,892
I became very spiritual
in prison.
1431
01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:20,628
I realized that I had
a lot of anger issues
1432
01:13:20,630 --> 01:13:22,290
that I needed to work on,
1433
01:13:22,310 --> 01:13:25,166
and the word of Buddha
really spoke to me.
1434
01:13:25,168 --> 01:13:26,567
It's helping me become
a better person
1435
01:13:26,569 --> 01:13:29,300
on and off the lanes.
1436
01:13:29,500 --> 01:13:31,706
Gunney, tater tot
hot dish is ready.
1437
01:13:31,708 --> 01:13:33,408
Come get supper.
1438
01:13:33,410 --> 01:13:36,778
I told you!
I wanted lutefisk
and lefse.
1439
01:13:36,780 --> 01:13:38,946
How hard
can it be
1440
01:13:38,948 --> 01:13:41,482
to open up a can
of lutefisk
1441
01:13:41,484 --> 01:13:43,651
and wrap up some
lefse?
1442
01:13:47,756 --> 01:13:49,757
That woman.
1443
01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:52,627
This is what I deal with.
1444
01:13:52,629 --> 01:13:54,862
This is my life.
1445
01:13:54,864 --> 01:13:57,865
Most of my videos
are getting hundreds of
thousands of views.
1446
01:13:57,867 --> 01:14:01,350
Some are even up
in the millions.
1447
01:14:01,370 --> 01:14:02,804
Unfortunately,
the same old video
1448
01:14:02,806 --> 01:14:05,440
still holds
my personal record.
1449
01:14:05,442 --> 01:14:10,878
Yeah, the booby slip clip
took off like wildfire.
1450
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:14,182
Okay, I want you to get
a real good look in here, okay?
1451
01:14:14,184 --> 01:14:16,818
See how I'm holding
nothing back here?
1452
01:14:16,820 --> 01:14:20,655
That is how you...
1453
01:14:20,657 --> 01:14:22,824
Follow through with style.
1454
01:14:22,826 --> 01:14:24,892
I mean, sure like
someone might be walking by
1455
01:14:24,894 --> 01:14:26,527
and they're gonna see
and be like,
1456
01:14:26,529 --> 01:14:28,863
"what the friggin' heck
is she doing?"
1457
01:14:28,865 --> 01:14:31,866
And I want you to look them
in the eye and you say,
1458
01:14:31,868 --> 01:14:33,768
"I'm showing the world
what I got."
1459
01:14:33,770 --> 01:14:37,939
And what I got is a real...
1460
01:14:37,941 --> 01:14:39,173
Juicy follow-through."
1461
01:14:41,176 --> 01:14:44,679
Show the world what you got.
Don't hold nothing back.
1462
01:14:44,681 --> 01:14:49,517
I'm Emily baardsson
and this is how I roll.
1463
01:14:49,519 --> 01:14:51,919
Whoo. Freakin' jeez.
1464
01:14:51,921 --> 01:14:54,856
This thing is heavy.
1465
01:14:54,858 --> 01:14:56,524
Friggin' lip's wet.
1466
01:15:10,873 --> 01:15:13,875
Whoo! I am bowling like
a real doofus out there today.
1467
01:15:13,877 --> 01:15:16,210
Oh, come on, sis.
You just need to tweak
things a bit.
1468
01:15:16,212 --> 01:15:19,146
I know,
I'm just doing a little
self-defecating humor.
1469
01:15:19,148 --> 01:15:21,148
Did you say
"self-defecating"?
1470
01:15:21,150 --> 01:15:23,150
Yeah. You know,
it's like when you're
making jokes,
1471
01:15:23,152 --> 01:15:24,952
but you're also kind of
crappin' on yourself.
1472
01:15:24,954 --> 01:15:26,754
Oh, nice.
1473
01:15:29,558 --> 01:15:31,225
I knew I needed
to be a bowler
1474
01:15:31,227 --> 01:15:32,927
when me and
my best friend chambers
1475
01:15:32,929 --> 01:15:34,562
were throwing rocks
at each other
1476
01:15:34,564 --> 01:15:35,963
and I threw this rock
1477
01:15:35,965 --> 01:15:37,698
and it hit him
right in the forehead.
1478
01:15:37,700 --> 01:15:39,300
He was like really mad.
1479
01:15:39,302 --> 01:15:41,168
So I was like
running away from him,
but he caught me
1480
01:15:41,170 --> 01:15:43,704
and he tripped me,
like, really hard,
1481
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:47,800
and I slammed my head into
the pavement three times.
1482
01:15:47,100 --> 01:15:49,100
And that's when I knew.
1483
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:51,245
I get up from that,
and I knew I needed
to be a bowler.
1484
01:15:53,148 --> 01:15:55,149
It's not terrible.
She could still
pick up a spare.
1485
01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:59,554
-Jeez Louise!
-You're a monster.
1486
01:16:01,690 --> 01:16:04,250
I like taking pictures of people
who have kitchen tables,
1487
01:16:04,270 --> 01:16:05,560
but they have,
like, different chairs
1488
01:16:05,562 --> 01:16:07,228
that didn't
come with the table.
1489
01:16:07,230 --> 01:16:08,996
Yeah, he finds it
real interesting.
1490
01:16:08,998 --> 01:16:11,320
Yeah, so whenever we go to
some friend's house
1491
01:16:11,340 --> 01:16:12,800
and they have a kitchen table,
1492
01:16:12,802 --> 01:16:15,360
but it's clear those chairs
aren't matching--
1493
01:16:15,380 --> 01:16:16,637
-where'd you get them?
-Where'd you get those?
1494
01:16:16,639 --> 01:16:19,173
What happened
to the regular chairs?
1495
01:16:19,175 --> 01:16:21,420
Did they break
and then you couldn't
get 'em fixed or something?
1496
01:16:21,440 --> 01:16:23,440
And there's usually
a heck of a story there,
1497
01:16:23,460 --> 01:16:25,120
and I'll write that story down
and I'll put it in the book.
1498
01:16:25,140 --> 01:16:26,280
Right now it's just like--
1499
01:16:26,282 --> 01:16:28,149
it was an empty photo album.
1500
01:16:28,151 --> 01:16:29,717
I'm just filling up
a photo album,
1501
01:16:29,719 --> 01:16:30,985
then I just kinda
write little notes
1502
01:16:30,987 --> 01:16:32,987
about where
the chairs came from.
1503
01:16:32,989 --> 01:16:34,989
So it's not like
a real book or nothing.
1504
01:16:34,991 --> 01:16:37,910
How full is the photo album
at this point?
1505
01:16:37,930 --> 01:16:38,593
Six or seven tables.
1506
01:16:38,595 --> 01:16:40,361
Six or seven tables,
a bunch of chairs.
1507
01:16:40,363 --> 01:16:41,896
So it's getting there.
1508
01:16:44,320 --> 01:16:45,366
There's a doctor
they have on the air
1509
01:16:45,368 --> 01:16:48,369
Saturday mornings
on am 630.
1510
01:16:48,371 --> 01:16:50,237
Ask him if it's normal
for people
1511
01:16:50,239 --> 01:16:53,240
to only have sex
in the dark.
1512
01:16:53,242 --> 01:16:55,743
I don't think
he's that kind of doctor.
1513
01:16:55,745 --> 01:16:57,745
They're all
that kind of doctor.
1514
01:16:57,747 --> 01:17:01,182
It's human nature, Jeff.
1515
01:17:01,184 --> 01:17:03,384
I have needs, you know?
1516
01:17:03,386 --> 01:17:05,119
You need to have
the lights on?
1517
01:17:07,956 --> 01:17:10,291
Why don't you stop over
at the concession stand,
1518
01:17:10,293 --> 01:17:12,293
get a licorice rope,
corn dogs,
1519
01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:14,295
or an ice cold fountain drink.
We've got the pretzels,
1520
01:17:14,297 --> 01:17:16,664
open-face sandwiches,
and personal pizzas.
1521
01:17:16,666 --> 01:17:18,265
Feel free to grab
whatever you like.
1522
01:17:18,267 --> 01:17:19,867
We really
stocked up this year.
1523
01:17:19,869 --> 01:17:21,268
They are not on sale
or free,
1524
01:17:21,270 --> 01:17:23,370
we just have
plenty available.
1525
01:17:24,806 --> 01:17:27,775
Fair dinkum!
That was an absolute Pearl.
1526
01:17:27,777 --> 01:17:29,777
That was a rip snorter.
1527
01:17:29,779 --> 01:17:33,347
That was absolutely bonzo.
That was a belter.
1528
01:17:33,349 --> 01:17:37,718
You little beauty!
Check out Emily.
1529
01:17:37,720 --> 01:17:40,988
Wow! An absolute ball tearer
from Emily.
1530
01:17:43,158 --> 01:17:44,659
Don't say anything
to Emily,
1531
01:17:44,661 --> 01:17:47,395
but I'd eat that Booty
like groceries.
1532
01:17:47,397 --> 01:17:49,997
Jeez Louise,
real inappropriate,
Nicholas.
1533
01:17:52,300 --> 01:17:54,101
I think she heard me.
1534
01:17:59,274 --> 01:18:00,808
-Hey, Gary.
-Hey, Gunnar.
1535
01:18:00,810 --> 01:18:02,376
I'll be bowling
for free today, right?
1536
01:18:02,378 --> 01:18:05,146
Okay, um, my name's, uh--
1537
01:18:05,148 --> 01:18:06,781
I'm bar-- I'm bar--
1538
01:18:08,450 --> 01:18:12,687
did you guys, uh,
see that?
1539
01:18:12,689 --> 01:18:17,910
We're just, like--
we're just hanging out for
a minute or whatever.
1540
01:18:17,930 --> 01:18:18,225
It's pretty cool.
107816
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