All language subtitles for Midsomer Murders S13E08 Fit for Murder

-19.

20.

21.

Yeah.

22.

Yeah.

MIRANDA: Phoebe!

-23.

-Loving it, boss.

MIRANDA: Phoebe!

-Phoebe, I know you're up there.

-Ah, bloody woman!

I'll kill her.

I swear, I'll bloody kill her.

-Go home, Miranda.

You're only making things worse.

-Miranda, you're trespassing.

-Oh, go away, you stupid man.

-Please leave.

You're disturbing the guests.

-Touch her again, I'm going
to give such a hammering.

-Get off my property
now, both of you!

Ha!

-Come on, let's get you home.

One of these days,
Lukey boy, you're

going to push me too far.

Oh yeah, you want some, do you?

Hey!

Hey, come on!

Come on!

Oh, go on then, walk away.

Walk away!

-Madness.

Checking in for a detox, and
you're inhaling cheeseburgers.

KITTY POTTINGER: Let's talk
about the four bottles of wine

you necked last night, shall we?

-It was three, actually.

MAN: Go on, go on.

No, no, that's fine.

No, go on.

-Leave it.

-Oh my god.

-Are-- are you-- are you
all right, Mrs. Pottinger?

-Thought you were going to
do something about those two!

-Go home.

Take your filthy
money and go home.

-I am, Mrs. Pottinger.

Don't you worry.

I am.

-Come upstairs.

-Not bad.

What have you been up to?

-Oh, nothing much.

-Come here.

Look.

WOMAN: Nightmare woman.

MAN: Hm.

Well, I reckon nightmare woman's
in for a bit of a surprise.

-Your tranquility is ours.

What does that mean?

-We're about to have a
de-stressing weekend.

It isn't going to work
if you keep complaining.

-I do not need de-stressing.

Oh my--

-Watch out!

SHEPHERD: Get back here.

Get back here!

Go on!

Go on, go on!

-Whoa!

-Careful.

-Would you watch
where you're going?

-Likewise.

-Go away.

There's nothing for you here.

They'll steal your money
and ruin your health.

Just go away before
it's too late.

JOYCE: What was that about?

-I do not know, but I'm
feeling calmer already.

-You'll be fine, Mrs. Pottinger.

-It's all right, Mrs. Pottinger.

There aren't any sheep here.

-Since when were you
allergic to sheep, anyway?

-Charming.

-Can I have a little
something to calm my nerves?

-I recommend a gentle
massage followed by a nap.

-She's going to live.

I'm off to play golf.

Pick you up Monday, dearest.

-We are terribly
sorry, Mrs. Pottinger.

It won't happen again.

-It had better not.

Oh.

My heart.

It's going like a train.

-That is down to Carter
Smith, your chum, Miranda.

-I'll talk to Luke.

-New arrivals.

-Last chance, Phoebe.

Sort her out, or I will.

-Good afternoon.

Welcome to Swaveley.

-Boss!

Boss!

Can I have a word, boss?

-I walked into a door.

-Perfect.

-Something I heard in the pub.

-Wonderful.

-This is pure gold,
boss, straight

from the horse's mouth.

-Oh go on, then.

Amaze me.

-It's about Miranda.

-We had a bit of a problem
with some escaped sheep.

-Yes, we noticed.

-One of the delights
of country life.

-But the room is lovely.

-Good, good.

Well, um, once you've settled
in, um, you'll see Dr. Danby.

He's our resident doctor.

He'll help you plan
your treatment schedule.

Any problems, anything
you need, just-- just ask.

-Thank you.
-Thanks.

We're so looking forward to it.

-Good, good.

-Pressure point massage
with Himalayan herbs.

Sounds good.

What's wrong with your arm?

-Massages.

Himalayan herbs.

It's not my thing really, Joyce.

-I know you're worried
about the police medical.

-I am not worried about
my police medical.

-Yes, you are.

I can tell.

I thought coming
here would help.

-Well, it doesn't.

-Look, here's the deal.

We stay here tonight, have
one treatment tomorrow,

and if you still don't like
it, then we can go home.

Deal?

-Deal.

-What do you want to
do on your birthday?

-My birthday is ages away.

-It's the week after next.

-I don't want to do
anything on my birthday.

Something's bugging you.

-Nothing is bugging me, Joyce.

I feel fine.

Never better.

-Sheep!

Come on, there's only one way
they could have got in there.

Ah, speak of the devil.

-Hello, Phoebe.

All right?

-No, not all right.

Very much not all
right, thanks to you.

-The sheep, Carter.

-The sheep in the
garden of contemplation.

-We used to call it
the kitchen garden.

We used to grow vegetables
there, remember?

-Well, it's been lovely
chatting to you ladies,

but I'm afraid I must leave you.

-Oh, going home to
the wife and kids?

-Yeah, as it happens.

Toodle pip.

-Never mind sheep.

What about this?

A letter from some
lawyer telling me I

have no right of
access to my own house.

-That was Luke's
doing, not mine.

-Don't pass the buck.

-But what do you expect
when you're intent on trying

to sabotage everything
I'm doing here.

-Oh, don't make it
sound as if you're

embarking on some
noble enterprise.

It was paradise here until
you mucked it up, you

and what's his name.

-Luke, his name's Luke.

-Trying to force me
out of my own home.

-Nobody's trying to force
you out of your home.

-Your husband is.

I just want some peace
so that I can write.

-Oh, the famous novel, 30
years and still not finished.

Why?

Because it doesn't
exist, Miranda.

It's a fantasy.

-You're my oldest
friend, Phoebe.

-So listen to me, then.

You're right.

Luke does want you out
of here, and so far,

I've managed to rein him in.

But if you don't
stop the interfering

and the childish
pranks, well-- and keep

Carter Smith off the premises.

He frightened Kitty Pottinger
half to death with those sheep.

-We don't want her
dropping dead, do we?

Not until Luke's got hold
of her money, anyway.

-So, you've, um, got a
police medical coming up?

-Yes, next week.

-The word is they're
looking to shed

a few senior officers,
early retirement, so on.

Um, you wouldn't consider--

No, no.

I'm in perfect health.

I haven't seen my GP
for-- oh, for years.

-Huh.

Glad to hear it.

Though, um, your blood
pressure's a little high.

-Well, just a tad, nothing to
get unduly concerned about.

But if they were looking
for a reason to retire you,

you could take medication
to bring it down, but, um,

they're bound to ask you--

-If you're on any
medication, yeah.

-Exactly.

-I'd see your GP about
it in the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I'm putting you
on a meat free, low salt diet

and, um, no alcohol, of course.

-Yeah.

-Get yourself a massage.

Eat, sleep, relax.

You'll probably sail
through the medical.

Is there anything else I can
help you with, Mr. Barnaby?

-Yeah.

Um, I keep getting these,
um, twinges in my arms

and in my legs.

They seem to, um, move around.

-Twinges.

-Yeah.

MAN: So if there's anything you
need, don't hesitate to ask.

MAN: Ah, Mrs. Fox.

You look absolutely delightful.

WOMAN: Hey.

-It's tofu casserole.

Bags of protein and
absolutely no cholesterol.

MAN: Excuse me.

-Ah.

New arrivals, right?

I'm Kenny.

Got you on the tofu, I see?

Word to the wise.

Get thee down the
crickets, says my son.

Pub in the village,
real ale on tap.

Best steak and chips
this side of Calais.

-That, Kenny, sounds very good.

-I'm in trouble.

-Hm.

I should have been playing golf
but my chum's put his back out.

Boss thought she'd got
rid of me for the weekend.

-Hm.

KITTY POTTINGER: What's
he been telling you?

You're supposed to
be talking to me.

-About my birthday.

-There's something,
um, I want to tell you.

KITTY POTTINGER: You're
such a clumsy oaf.

Unbelievable.

MAN: Mr. Pottinger, it's fine.

Don't worry.

It-- it's absolutely all sorted
out and it's absolutely fine.

KITTY POTTINGER: Oh, Kenny!

Just-- just get out of my sight.

Get out of my sight.

MAN: It's all right.

MAN: Please, please.

MAN: Let me do that.

MAN: Um, Mr.--

-Oh, tranquility.

Where did that come from, Kenny?

-I assumed you brought it.

-Oh, you are such a liar!

-Oh, have a drink
for crying out loud.

-Oh.

Well, I suppose I could
start my detox tomorrow.

-That's the spirit.

My darling.

-Hide the bottle.

Quick, hide the bottle!

Quick!

Hide it!

-Oh.

Hello.

-You're going to be
late for your treatment.

I'm going in the
flotation chamber.

Always wanted to
try one of those.

And you're having the hot
volcanic stone massage.

-Oh god.

No going home until
you've tried it.

-The water's only 10 inches
deep and it's salinated

so you'll have no
trouble floating.

This is to support your head.

Now, we usually suggest an
hour to get maximum benefit,

and we like to keep
the lighting very low.

I could turn it up a
little if you like.

-No, dark as possible for me.

No distractions.

-Thank you.

-Oh my god!

-Help!

Help!

Help!

-First, I'll apply a thin layer
of scented oil to your back.

Then I'll arrange the
heated stones in line

with your chakras.

-Your chakras.

Your energy centers.

-Look-- um, sorry,
what's your name again?

-Cloud.

-Cloud.

There's nothing
personal in this,

but I think I'll give
the-- the hot stones

a miss this time around.

-Um, please don't go.

If you do, I'll have to mark
this session as incomplete.

-Well, it means
I won't get paid.

You could just, you
know, sit and chill.

-Oh, I've got whale songs.

-Oh no, no thank you.

-I could read your aura.

-I-- I can read auras.

Not everybody's, just some.

Yours is very confused.

It's probably because your
chakras are imbalanced.

-Yes.

-The crown chakra is the
center of spiritual energy.

Yours is totally blocked.

-You've got a
birthday coming up.

-This is really
soon, like in a week?

This birthday's really
stressing you out.

-I am not stressed.

-It's something to
do with your father.

-Oh, Mr. Barnaby, sorry, sorry.

Something terrible's happened.

-Yes.

Are you all right?

-Yes.

For a moment, though, I
thought that something

had happened to you.

-I'm fine.

And now, I'm going to go
and have a long, hot bath.

-OK, the deceased's
name is Kitty Pottinger,

staying here with
her husband, Kenneth.

He's nowhere to be found
and their car's gone.

-From the condition of the skin,
I'd say she'd been in the water

six or seven hours.

Water's 10 inches deep, heavily
salinated, still deep enough

to drown in.

-So are we saying
it's suspicious?

-Well, the question is, was
she dead before immersion?

There's no obvious
signs of struggle.

I'll know more when
I've opened her up, Tom.

Tom?

-Ah, yeah.

Well, I suppose I'd
better get changed.

-No hurry.

Strictly speaking,
as you're off duty,

I'm the senior investigating
officer, aren't I?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose you are.

-Yeah, I'm not serious, sir.

-No, but it-- it is serious,
Jones, very serious.

It's a big responsibility, that.

-Empty bottle of vodka.

Mobile.

There's a text on the mobile.

I can't take it anymore.

You're on your own now, bitch.

Kenneth.

Received at 2:46 AM.

Nice.

Lots of women's clothes.

No men's.

Only one case.

-There's no sign
of a bloke in here.

Oh, hang on.

-10 milligram Temazepam, empty.

Kitty Pottinger's
name on the label.

So what's next?

-Well, you're the SIO.

Your call.

-Right.

Well, I'll talk
to the owners, see

if they lock that flotation
place up at night.

Maybe you could talk
to the resident doc,

see if he prescribed these.

-Yes, sir.

-Good.

Good.

-Should have gone for that one.

Take 10 minutes.

Practice that serve, yeah?

-I really can't
discuss this, you know.

-Oh, yes you can, Dr. Danby.

I'm here as a policeman
now, not a guest.

-Well, the Pottingers
were both fond

of a drink, Kenny in particular.

They used to come here
to detox, but Kenny'd

crack after a day
or two and go down

to the pub in the local village.

-We found an empty
bottle of Temazepam

with Kitty Pottinger's
name on it.

-Not prescribed by
me, I might add.

No, no.

You must speak to
her GP about that.

Kenny was the serious drinker.

Kitty's tastes were more
pharmaceutical-- painkillers,

sleeping pills, so on.

I did try and talk to her about
it on more than one occasion.

Oh, well done, Mrs. Fox.

That really was first rate.

They're very well off, you know.

Made his money in
property, I believe.

In fact, there was talk of
Kitty investing in this place.

-Dr. Danby, I-- I think I've
tweaked my hamstring again.

-Ah well.

Duty calls.

Mrs. Fox.

BARNABY: Joyce!

-Mm-hm.

-Joyce.

You all right?

-Yes, I'm fine.

-Because if you're
not, you know,

we can always pack
up and go home.

-Nice try, Tom,
but I'm undeterred.

I'm going to have the
marine mud wrap next.

-Well, if you're sure.

-I'm sure.

Do you want to hear the gossip?

According to Florence, the
girl who works in the flotation

room, the Archbolds are broke.

This place is within
days of closing.

-Kenny and Kitty Pottinger.

Witnesses saw them have a set to
in the dining room last night.

-Yes, me included.

And I heard a car leaving
in the middle of the night.

That, presumably, was
Kenneth Pottinger, 2:30 AM.

If you care to write
that down, Jones?

-Yeah.

That was 10 minutes before
he dumped her by text.

-They're famous
for their fights,

apparently, particularly
after a few drinks.

-So Kenneth Pottinger gets
back from the pub drunk.

They argue over dinner, go back
to their room, hit the vodka.

Fight gets worse.

He storms off.

She finishes off her pills--

-And heads off to
the flotation room.

It was her favorite
thing, apparently.

Oh.

There's Luke Archbold.

I haven't spoken to him yet.

Can you have a
word with him, sir?

I'm still trying
to get everyone's

movements from last night.

-Of course.

Um, if I were SIO, Jones, I'd be
looking for Kenneth Pottinger.

-I'm on it, sir.

-He wasn't going to take it
anymore, for what it was worth.

-Well-- well come on.

I want this cleared
up by lunchtime.

-Mr. Archbold--

-Tell me, how do a flock of
sheep get in here by accident?

-I--

-Well, they don't.

They were put here.

Sabotage.

-Can I tall to you about
the Pottingers, please?

-The flotation center was
locked at 8:00 PM sharp.

Guests are warned in
no uncertain terms

about using facilities
unsupervised, sir.

So if you're thinking of
throwing the old Health

and Safety at me, you've got--

-Health and Safety is not
my concern, Mr. Archbold.

How and why Kitty
Pottinger died is.

Y-- y-- you're not-- you're
not saying she was murdered,

are you?

Please, please, for god's sake,
don't go spreading that around.

That's the last thing we need.

-Got any idea where Kenny
Pottinger might have gone?

-One of his golfing
buddies probably.

That's where he usually
goes on these occasions.

-Oh, he's walked out
on her before, has he?

-God yeah, but
he's normally back

the next day with his
tail between his legs.

He-- Kenny can't cross the road
without Kitty holding his hand.

Oh crap.

That's all we need.

Hey!

Hey!

Oi!

Hang on!

Look!

Look.

I've told you before, you are
not allowed on the property.

-He's on my property.

-Actually, he's
not, as I believe

my solicitor has informed you.

You have no right of way here.

-So how am I supposed to get
in and out of my own house?

-Not my problem.

And you-- you should be aware
that this man is a police

officer, and I am going to make
an official complaint to him

regarding your persistent
trespassing, not

to mention the
sheep infestation.

-That's a long word, Lukey boy.

-Which I will be able to prove.

It's down to you.

-And how are you
going to do that?

Check the sheep for
my fingerprints?

They're on everything
else around here,

aren't they, Miranda?

Hey!

Get off!

Get off me!

Get off!

-You're my witness, Barnaby.

He assaulted me.

I-- I insist you
arrest him immediately!

-Walk away, Mr. Archbold.
Walk away.

-Assault and battery.

I'm going to make a complaint.

-Clock's ticking, Archbold.

You're finished here.

-Luke Archbold has found
some loophole in the deeds

whereby I can't use the
drive of my own house.

-Oh, so that's the reason for
the bad feeling between you,

is it?

-Tip of the iceberg, my friend.

-Phoebe inherited the
manor 30 years ago.

It was the family home.

She loved the place,
but she was broke

and she couldn't
afford to live here.

I had money in those days,
so I bought the red house,

which meant she could stay on.

I never thought
about rights of way.

We were friends.

Why would we?

-Everything changed when
she met Luke Archbold.

It was his idea to turn
this place into a circus.

-And what is your role
in all this, um, Mr.

-Oh, I mow the lawn,
help with the shopping.

Mainly, I read.

-Carter works for me.

He used to work for Phoebe, too.

Luke put an end to that.

-Like asking
questions, don't you?

-Well, sir, you may not
have heard, but, um,

a guest died at the
manor last night.

-Kitty Pottinger.

-How awful.

-No wonder Lukey
boy's in a bad mood.

Another gravy train missed.

-That's enough, Carter.

What happened?

-We don't know yet.

-So did, um, did
either of you see

or hear anything last night?

-Not me.

I live in the village.

-No, I was working.

Then I'm oblivious
to everything.

-What sort of work would
that be, Ms. Bedford?

-I'm a writer.

-Ms. Bedford is writing a novel.

It's her life's work.

30 years, in fact.

-30 years.

Must be a long novel.

-But that level of dedication
is a rare and beautiful thing

these days, wouldn't you say?

Well, it is to me.

What do I know?

I mow the lawn.

-Oh, I think there's
a lot more to you

than that, sir, including your
temper which, if I may say so,

you should curb.

I won't even ask about
the, um, sheep infestation.

DS JONES: So I just need to
check where everyone was.

OK.

So let's start at 8:00 PM.

Oh, hang on.

Sir!

Sir!

Cloud?

I'm sorry to disturb you.

Give me a minute?

-I was just thinking
about Kitty Pottinger.

It's so sad.

She was such a lovely lady.

-Oh yes.

I read her aura the
first time she came here.

I could see it so clearly.

-Hm.

Cloud, when you were
reading my aura,

you said something
about my father.

-I can't talk about that now.

There's too much negative
energy flying around.

Tomorrow, OK?

-Ah.

It's still locked.

Hello?

Hello?

It's been closed all day.

Joyce, it's about my birthday.

I've been trying to
tell you something,

but it's so difficult
finding a quiet moment

in a place like this.

-I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No complaints.

I'm sorry.

Joyce, this is all
about my father.

It may sound strange,
but bear with me, please.

-You're not supposed
to be in here, sir.

-Hello, Tom.

Are you disturbing Mrs. Fox?

-Oh, I'm so terribly sorry.

-I can book you a
session if you want.

-No, no, um--

-I'm so sorry.

-I'll speak to you later.

I'm sorry.

-Good morning to you, sir.

Good morning to you.

-You have the look, sir, of
an escapee from the manor spa.

-Yes.

Well, that's exactly what I am.

-Then I advise a pint
of , 5.1 AVV,

and it'll bring down a
soya bean at 200 yards.

-Oh, that sounds perfect.

-And if you're peckish,
we do a re-tox menu.

-Oh, thank you.

-Well--

-Don't mind me.

My day off.

You only.

Live once.

-Good man.

-Let me in for god's sake.

If Luke sees me
here, he'll kill me.

-I'm worried, Miranda.

I'm worried about the situation.

That's good.

-All right.

I'm frightened.

I'm-- I'm frightened that
Carter's going to do something.

-Come on.

Carter's got a temper.

He's violent, for god's sake.

He attacked Luke earlier today.

-No.

Luke attacked Carter.

-And Carter beat up Julian
outside the Cricketer's.

-They were drunk.

It was handbags at 20 paces.

-Carter threatened to kill Luke.

-Oh, nonsense.

-I was there.

I heard him.

Carter's clever.

He only lets you
see one side of him.

You don't know what
he's really like.

-Funny.

I could say exactly the
same thing about Luke.

-I with Magnus was still alive.

-So do I, Phoebes.

-Haven't called me
that in changes.

-Maybe we could--

-No, it doesn't matter.

I'm just being silly.

I-- I think I'd better go.

-Now, Magnus, Phoebe's first
husband, he was a nice fellow,

he was.

This was before
your time, Julian,

before they turned
the manor into a spa.

Magnus w-- would
you do another, sir?

-Hm.

-Magnus worked in the city,
worked too hard, I reckon,

because he dropped dead--
what

Not long after that, Luke
Archbold came on the scene,

caught Phoebe on the rebound.

-Ah.

Caught her money on
the rebound, you mean.

-Ah, maybe.

-Ah.

Afternoon, Carter.

The usual?

-Please, Clarkey.

-Funny smell in here
all of a sudden.

-Now then, you two.

Anymore aggravation,
I'm barring both of you.

-That's all right, Clark.

I'm going outside.

Bring my pint out, would you?

-Righto.

-I'm off anyway.

-Thanks, Julian.

-Very nice.

-They had a bit of a set to in
the car park the other night.

He's a good bloke, Carter, but
oh, he's got a temper on him.

-Lovely day.

-Shh.

You're not supposed
to talk here.

Sorry.

Surely not.

-You've been to that pub.

-I have been making inquiries.

-And having lunch.

You've had steak and chips.

-Sorry.

-Meditating.

Try it.

Close your eyes.

Concentrate on your breathing
and try to empty your mind.

-Shh.

-20.

26.

27.

28.

29.

-Barnaby.

On my way.

-Something terrible
just happened again.

-Oh god.

-When I woke up this morning,
and he-- he still wasn't there.

-Oh no, thank you.

Florence is looking after me.

-We can talk later.

-I'll be back in one second.

Wait!

It's probably nothing
important, but--

-No, no.

Go on.

-Mrs. Archbold told me that
she-- well, she was worried

that Carter Smith
was going to-- to do

something to Mr. Archbold.

She went to see Ms. Bedford
yesterday to talk about it.

I don't know what
happened, but she

was really upset afterwards.

Just thought I ought to
tell you because, well,

she probably won't.

-That's good.

That's right.

Right that you should tell me.

Thank you.

-I've contacted
the manufacturers.

They're sending someone down
who knows about these things

so we can see whether it's
been tampered with or not.

I've got to talk to,
um, Mr. Universe.

He runs the gym.

Do you want to come?

-They're going to
blame me, aren't they?

-Because I'm supposed to
look after the equipment.

I told Mr. A, you should
get a proper person

to look after it now
Carter's not working here.

-Yeah.

He used to do the maintenance.

He's good with stuff like that.

I'm not a technology person.

I'm a people person.

That's what a trainer
needs, people skills.

They'll close this place
down now, won't they?

Did Mrs. Archbold say anything
about closing it down?

-No, Julian.

No, she didn't.

-If they do, I'll have
to go back to New Eaton.

-Julian, excuse me.

Oh.

-Nice.

-Might have done.

-We were arguing
about loony Miranda.

-About her and her famous book.

I made a joke.

That's all.

-Well, Julian, I'm going to
have to talk to you again.

-Oh, don't worry.

I'm not going back to New
Eaton, not until I have to.

-Didn't you say Carter had a
go at Luke Archbold yesterday?

-Yes.

He flies off the
handle all too easily,

and he's threatened
Luke Archbold before.

-There's the dispute over
the right of way, sir.

It wouldn't be the first time
we've seen someone murdered

over one of those, and
Carter knows his way

around the equipment in the gym.

-Look, I think
there's more to this

than a dispute over
a right of way.

-Well, I'm interested
in the fight

over Miranda Bedford's book.

-But what's that got
to do with anything?

-Any sign of Kenny
Pottinger yet?

-No.

He goes off on these
benders, comes back

a couple of days later with
his tail between his legs.

-Hey, have you
sorted out everyone's

movements for that night?

-Um, not quite.

-Well, it's difficult.

-Because--

-Because we're going
to need exactly

the same thing for
last night, aren't we?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-You're the SIO, Jones.

Right.

-Sure you're going
to be all right?

I'll catch you later, then.

Take care.

-What's the matter
with Mrs. Fox?

-She's upset about Luke
Archbold, obviously.

-Because she's obviously got
a bit of a thing about him.

-Oh.

-I thought policemen were
supposed to be observant.

-Well, I've got other
things on my mind, Joyce.

JOYCE: I guess our stay is over.

-Oh yes.

Sorry, Joyce.

-No, I'm the one that's sorry.

I bring you away for a
de-stressing weekend,

and people start
dropping like flies.

I'll go and pack.

Oh, Tom?

Mrs. Fox said you were talking
to her about your father.

You know, when you
thought she was me.

What was that about?

-Oh, it was, um, it was
nothing, nothing much.

Um, look, I'll tell
you about it later.

-I'm not going to put
on a show of mock grief

because I couldn't
stand the man.

I'm sorry for Phoebe, though.

-No idea.

Not his keeper.

Despite what everybody says, my
relationship with Carter Smith

is strictly platonic.

That means we're
just good friends.

-Yes.

I know what it means.

-We talk about books.

-Of course.

-Oh, happy times, by
the look of things.

-Yes, they were.

-We used to, yes.

Until Luke came on the scene.

Then everything changed.

-Ah, yes.

Phoebe married Luke
Archbold and you--

you took up with Carter Smith.

-I did not take up with him.

I employed him.

Anyway, the two events
are completely unrelated.

-What exactly is
it that you want?

-Phoebe Archbold came to
see you yesterday afternoon,

didn't she?

-Yes, sir.

-Did she talk about
Carter threatening Luke?

-That's all such nonsense.

I heard Carter Smith
yesterday say to Luke,

your days are numbered.

-He meant here at the manor.

They're broke.

Didn't you know?

The spa is a failure.

-Oh.

Well, you see, that's a cause
for celebration, isn't it?

I mean, now you can
get on with your book

without any interruptions.

-My god.

You don't think that
Carter and I had anything

to do with Luke's death, do you?

-There are no post or
ante mortem injuries.

There was foam in the
airways, the lungs

were over inflated and full
of liquid, all of which

would indicate
death by drowning.

The lab report shows she'd
ingested a considerable amount

of alcohol and benzodiazepine.

-I'm saying, Tom, I cannot at
this point tell you whether

her death was accidental or not.

-Crush asphyxia due to chest
compression by the look of it.

I can't be absolutely
certain until I've finished.

And even then, with
injuries like this,

it's hard to be definitive.

-Well, that's very useful.

Thank you, George.

-Don't mention it.

-Sir, report on the
empty vodka bottle.

-Tell me.

-No prints, not even a smudge.

It's been thoroughly
cleaned, inside as well.

-Same with the glasses.

-Enlighten us, Benjamin.

-It was rinsed
out so we wouldn't

find traces of Temazepam.

Kitty Pottinger was
drinking vodka spiked

with her own
medication, which makes

Kenny Pottinger prime suspect.

He had the means, the
opportunity, and the motive.

Well, sir?

-Cheer up, Tom.

Looks like you might
have a murder after all.

-Oh yes.

Tom wants me out of here
before I become a suspect.

-I don't know.

Maybe it's me, but he
doesn't seem himself.

-Well, I think he is worried
about the police medical,

not that he'd ever admit it.

And then of course,
there's this place.

-Yeah.

It's a tricky case.

Lots of unanswered questions.

-Oh, I'm not talking
about the body count.

I'm talking about all
this new age stuff.

-Oh.

-He can't be doing with it.

-Yeah.

-If you want to see
something clearly,

you should look in the
opposite direction.

It's a zen thing.

-Ah.

Of course it is.

-Shh!

There are dark
spots on your aura.

You're very troubled.

It's got to do with your father.

You've got a birthday coming up.

You'll be the same age as
your father when he died.

Yes, this is it.

Your father died
on his birthday,

and you're afraid that
you'll die on yours.

-There's water.

-No.

It's gone.

-No, wait.

You said something about water.

What was that?

-You'll have to go.

We're supposed to be packing.

Mrs. Archbold is
closing the spa.

Are you going to
give me some money?

Sir?

Sir?

Enlighten me.

-It's a compression
plate and it's

missing from the
training machine.

It's vital, apparently.

Are you all right?

Look a bit peaky.

-I'm absolutely fine.

Anything else?

-Yes.

The receptionist tells me
there's a set of keys missing.

Keys to where?

-The whole place, everything,
including the gym.

How about we turn over
Carter Smith's place,

see what we find?

Miranda Bedford's too,
while we're at it.

-Yeah right, right.

-I'll apply for the
search warrants, then.

-Yeah, obviously.

-Right.

-Um, no.

Um, Jones, um, Kenny
Pottinger's car.

-Um, look for it round here.

-Yes.

A, um, two mile radius.

I heard a car, but
Kenny Pottinger

wasn't necessarily driving it.

I think someone wants us to
believe that he fled the scene.

Then there's the, um, the
text message signed "Kenneth."

-Everyone calls him Kenny.

-Yeah.

Whoever drove the car
sent the text message.

-You're thinking it
was someone from here.

-I'm thinking all
kinds of things.

-I'm sorry.

-No.

No, it's all right.

Come in.

How are you?

-Oh.

Well, I-- I feel like I'm in
a bit of a dream, I suppose.

A very bad dream.

And, on top of it all,
we've had to tell the staff

that we're closing, that they
didn't have their jobs anymore,

and they've all
been so wonderful.

This used to be
the kitchen garden.

Miranda and I spent a
lot of time in here.

My first husband, Magnus,
worked away on business a lot.

I brought up the children.

Miranda wrote or
talked about writing,

and we worked in here together.

It was the happiest
time of my life.

-Ah.

Hello, Cully.

What a lovely surprise.

-He said without
much conviction.

-Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's been a hard day.

-Oh.

-Yeah, just a, um,
couple of things

I wanted to check with you.

-Oh.

Excuse us, ladies.

Oh, we'll get the search
warrants tomorrow.

-Well, the night
Kitty Pottinger died,

not everyone's account tallies.

Like Julian, the gym guy.

He was seen hanging around
the red house at 10:00 PM,

but he says he was
with Luke Archbold.

-The Natasha Fox woman
says she was in the room,

but a member of staff
brought her tea and said--

-Go and double check.

-Yeah, well I can't double
check with Luke Archbold

because he's brown bread.

-Oh, Jones, I can't do
everything for you, can I?

Any sign of Kenny Pottinger?

-No.

Not as yet.

-Working on it, sir.

-Ah.

-We were just planning your
surprise birthday party, dad.

-Joke.

-Ah.

-Have a glass of wine.

-Oh.

Oh yes.

Yes, please.

Oh, it's going very well indeed.

Excellent.

Couldn't be better.

Cheers, love.

-It's the police.

-Am I ever going
to get any peace?

-Knob-handed as well.

It's pathetic.

-Don't lose it, Carter.

-Detective Sergeant,
Jones, Causton CID.

I have a warrant to
search the premises.

-What exactly are
you hoping to find?

-This is a murder
inquiry, Ms. Bedford.

-I suppose I have no
choice in the matter.

-No, you don't.

-I'd love to stay and
watch the fun, Barnaby,

but you know how it is.

Things to do, people to see.

-Mr. Smith!

-Carter, don't!

-Mr. Smith, I need to
look inside your vehicle

before you go.

Please, I said I need to look.

Shall we?

-Oh, so the book
really does exist.

-Of course.

-Beautiful handwriting.

Hillary.

She the

-She's the protagonist, yes.

-As a matter of fact, she
goes to prison for murder,

but she's innocent, of course.

-Of course.

-Oh, oh, Ah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah?

-Sir!

Compression plate identical
to the one missing

from the machine that
killed Luke Archbold.

-Right.

So I sabotaged the
equipment, then

hid the incriminating
evidence in my truck.

Criminal mastermind.

That's me.

-Carter.

-Aha!

A large bunch of keys.

Tanning studio.

Fitness suite.

Looks like these
belong to the manor.

-Of course I don't.

-I do.

They were mine.

I, um, I handed them back
to Luke when he sacked me.

-Well unfortunately he won't be
able to confirm that, will he?

-A crude attempt to
incriminate us, obviously.

-Well, we'll discuss it
at the station, shall we?

Carter Smith,
Miranda Bedford, I'm

arresting you both
on suspicion--

-Wait.

Mr. Smith, that fight you had
with Julian outside the pub.

-That fight was all about
Miranda's book, wasn't it?

-Something like that.

-Julian claimed that
that book did not exist.

Am I right?

-No.

Hang on, hang on.

Mr. Smith.

-My memory's, um, a bit hazy.

I'd had a few drinks, hadn't I?

-And he would never, ever
discuss my work with anyone,

would you, Carter?

-Mr. Smith, if you do
not corporate with us,

I'll have you in and out of
Causton nick on so many charges

your head will spin-- assaulting
a police officer, trespass,

and yes sir, first
degree murder.

-All right, all right, yes.

-Yes, I told Julian
that I'd read the book.

-And I told him it
was almost finished.

And I told him where
Miranda kept the manuscript.

-Oh, Carter.

-I'm so sorry, but he
got to me, didn't he?

The great lump can't
even spell his own name.

What right has he got
to have a go at you?

-We're finished here.

Thank you.

-Please, I-- I-- I--
I'm so-- I'm so sorry.

-They've got to be
in the frame, sir.

Kitty Pottinger and
Luke Archbold are dead.

They've got what they want.

The spa is finished.

Phoebe won't push this
right of way business, and--

-And they leave vital
bits of evidence

lying around for us to pick up.

How very thoughtful.

-Murderers panic.

They do stupid things in
the heat of the moment.

How many terms
have we seen that?

-Jones, Kitty Pottinger,
Luke Archbold's murders

were premeditated,
carefully planned.

Heat of the moment
didn't come into it.

-What was that stuff
about Mrs. Bedford's book?

-Jones!

-Right.

Thank you.

Well, you were right
about one thing.

Kenny Pottinger's car.

They found it in a wood a
couple of miles from here.

-It's unlocked.

-Keys in the
ignition, and mobile.

-Open the boot.

-Oh golf.

Of course.

-Kenny was supposed to
playing golf over the weekend.

It fell through last moment.

So whoever spiked the
vodka thought that Kitty

was going to be
there on her own.

-Jones, you mentioned
some discrepancies

in the witness statements.

-Yeah.

-Natasha Fox said
she was in her room,

but there was no answer
when room service called.

Um, she always
has, um, what's it?

Um, chamomile tea last thing.

-No.

Julian, the gym guy.

He said he was with
Luke Archbold at 10 PM,

but Angela Danby saw him hanging
around Miranda Bedford's place.

-Danby.
One of the therapists.

Hippy dippy.

Calls herself Cloud.

-Danby.

Danby.

Isn't that the
name of the doctor?

-Yeah.

She's is daughter.

-Oh, for crying out loud.

-Nothing.

You go and talk to Natasha Fox.

See if she's lying.

I'll go and speak
to Julian Woodley.

Angela Danby.

-Hello, Julian.

-Mrs. Fox, a word.

-Julian, this is
a murder inquiry.

Let me tell you something.

If you lie to me, that makes
you an accessory to murder.

-If you weren't in your room
that night, where were you?

Or perhaps a more
formal interview

might jog your memory.

-I was with Luke.

-Yes.

My husband.

-My ex-husband.

He left me for Phoebe
when my money ran out,

but he was coming back to me.

I was the one he
really cared about.

-Hold on.

-Carter told me about
loony Miranda's book,

how it was almost finished,
thousands of pages all

handwritten, and how she
keeps it in this old safe.

So I told Mr. A, and-- well,
he wanted me to steal it.

He offered me a grand, but I
wasn't going to do it, I swear.

I would never have
stolen anything.

I was just being helpful.

-Excuse me.

Barnaby.

She what?

-Luke's ex.

Yeah, the night
Kitty died, they were

cavorting in one of
the vacant rooms.

But when she left, she saw
something very interesting.

She saw Phoebe.

-OK, listen.

This is what we're going to do.

-What exactly is it
you're looking for?

-I just wanted a last
look before we leave.

-Yes.

We're finished here.

As of today, we'll be
running the investigation

from Causton Police Station.

-You can start moving
everyone out now, Jones.

-Yes sir.

Goodbye.

-Mrs. Archbold, did
your husband tell you

about, um, Miranda
Bedford's book?

-That he was
planning to steal it.

-This door has been locked for
a couple of days, isn't it?

-Yes.

Luke said there's a
problem with the sunbed.

-I don't suppose you've
got a key, have you?

-Not on me.

What were you saying
about Miranda's book?

-Oh nothing.

It's, um, something I heard.

Probably nonsense.

-Sounds like it.

-Well, thank you, Mrs.
Archbold, for your help.

Um, would you
excuse me a minute?

I've got a phone call.

-Of course, yes.

I-- I'll be in the
office if you need me.

-Please, help me!

-Quiet.

-No, no.

Wait!

No!

Please, please.

It's all
right, Mr. Pottinger.

You're safe now.

You're safe.

-I didn't hit him
hard enough, did I?

-Once Kitty Pottinger had
a controlling interest

in the manor, I knew
I'd be out sooner

or later, Miranda as well.

The thought of that woman
ruling the roost in my house,

and she would have ruled.

-Yes.

I used to upon the flotation
chamber for her at all hours.

VIP treatment for her
ladyship and so on.

One night, she was so out
of it on booze and pills

she could barely walk,
and I thought, all

I have to do is hold
your head under the water

for a minute or two.

When Luke told me she was
going to invest in the spa,

I remembered that night.

-But you needed
Kenny out of the way.

-Yes, but then his
golfing weekend came up.

Perfect.

I dissolved Kitty's
Temazepam in the vodka

and I left it in their room.

I knew she wouldn't
be able to resist.

-Hello.

PHOEBE ARCHBOLD: Then I
realized that Kenny hadn't gone.

I hurried back to the
room to retrieve the vodka

but it was too late.

They'd already opened it.

-Oh.

Hello.

-Oh.

Um, just-- just, um, wondering
if there's anything you need.

-Oh, I might fancy
a float later.

-Oh yes.
Yes, of course.

Yes.

PHOEBE ARCHBOLD: She said that
she might give me a call later.

Sure enough, she did.

-Put this under your head.

-Oh, that's nice.

-I love it.

Now, all right, Mrs. Pottinger?

-There was no sign of Kenny.

I thought that it
might still work.

-Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

-So I had to improvise.

-Mr. Pottinger, you're
disturbing the guests.

-You're all wet.

-Oh.

-It's nice.

You know, I've always had a
little bit of a thing for you.

-Well, that's
lovely, but not here.

-Oh.

Well.

-Well.

This will be a first.

-Oh no, no, no, no.

Wait.

Just let me do something.

Get these wet things off.

-Why, you're full of
surprises you are, aren't you?

-Now, I had to finish Kitty off.

PHOEBE ARCHBOLD: I was going
back to deal with Kenny when I

remembered the
damn vodka bottle.

I had to get that cleaned up.

BARNABY: But you'd been
seen by Natasha Fox.

-Yes, the ex-wife.

How perfect is that?

-And when you went back
to the tanning studio,

Kenny Pottinger
wasn't there, was he?

PHOEBE ARCHBOLD:
No, so I panicked.

I drove Kenny's car to the wood.

I sent Kitty a
text to her mobile,

but everything was unraveling.

I had to find Kenny.

-Who was wandering
the grounds, severely

concussed, full of
booze and pills.

-I got a torch and
went looking for him.

He was by the pump house.

I-- I-- I couldn't find a pulse.

I thought he was dead.

He's a big man.

It took me an age
to get him inside.

-And when Luke told you he was
planning to steal Miranda's

manuscript to destroy
her life's work

and so finally be rid of her.

-Oh my god, yes.

Well, that's when I realized
that Luke had to go, too.

I was in the gym one day when
Carter explained to Luke how

the machine might go wrong if
it wasn't properly maintained.

That's when I got the idea.

-And it was easy to
plant the evidence.

-Too easy.

-It's funny, I could say exactly
the same thing about Luke.

PHOEBE ARCHBOLD: I
hoped you'd think Carter

had left the keys
at the red house.

I-- I didn't mean
to involve Miranda.

I wish Magnus was still alive.

-So do I, Phoebes.

-When Luke told me that
Miranda's book actually

existed, I felt so
guilty for doubting her.

I wanted to look after her.

Do you understand?

That's what I'd
always done when we

were happy, when
everyone was happy.

-I'm so, so sorry.

I should have had more faith,
but when Luke said that he was

going to steal the manuscript--

-It wouldn't have
mattered if he had.

Carter gets any new pages
photocopied every day.

-Of course.

And I finished it a year ago.

I've just been tweaking
bits since then.

The book's been sold,
Phoebes, for pots of money.

-But Carter told
Julian that he--

-Carter tends to dramatize.

He reads too much.

-I just wanted everything to
go back to how it was before.

-It will.

However long it
takes, I'll be here.

-Us.

-I've got a loose end to tie up.

-Toodle pip.

-Hello, Angela.

-The spa's closed.

We're not doing any
more treatments.

-Oh, what a shame.

-Yes, it is.

-No.

I mean a shame for
you and your father.

It's quite a double act you've
got going there, isn't it?

-I don't know what you mean.

-Hm.

Do you not?

Well, the clients
sign into this place,

they're given the once over by
your father when they're, um,

vulnerable, and they tell
him things they probably

wouldn't even tell their own GP.

I know I did.

And that, Ms. Danby, is how
you knew about my father.

-Sit down.

Sit down.

-Oh.

Just--

-He died on his birthday.

-Yeah, well-- yes,
I told your father.

-Shh.

Near water.

A river.

No-- no, a lake.

A big lake.

It was a beautiful, sunny day.

He was on his own when he died.

You weren't there.

Nobody was there.

You didn't tell my
father that, did you?

-No.

-Joyce, do you remember
the day my father died?

-Course I do.

-And he'd asked me to
go fishing with him.

It was something we always
did together on his birthday

when I was a kid.

And then all those years
later, he asked me again.

But we'd had one
of our arguments,

and I was annoyed with him.

I was angry, and
I said no, and you

and I went off to have lunch.

-You think that if you'd
gone with him that day--

-I could have done
something, yeah.

I think about that a lot.

-Tom, your father died
of a massive stroke.

You couldn't have done anything.

-Well, you can say
that, but I feel guilty.

I really do.

And I'm very sad because
the last words I ever

said to my father, they
were not affectionate.

And then I got this-- this
idea here stuck in my head.

-The idea that I would
die when I got to his age.

-And sure enough,
a few weeks ago I

started feeling these aches,
these pains, headaches,

god knows what.

-Why on earth
didn't you tell me?

-Because, Joyce,
it's ridiculous.

It is ridiculous, it's
irrational, it's neurotic.

-So you're human just
like the rest of us.

-Yeah.

It would seem so.

-Should I have a medical
team on standby tomorrow?

-Your birthday.

-Oh.

Nope, you should not.

My twinges have gone
and I'm feeling fine.

-Must have helped passing
that police medical.

-Yeah.

BARNABY: Dad?

JOYCE: Tom, look.

-Oh.

God moves in mysterious ways.

-Whoa!

Champagne.

And he passed his medical, too.

-Look, I-- I'd like to propose a
few toasts of my own, if I may.

Hey.

And I'd like to
start-- start with Ben.

-Oh, this has got
to be a wind up.

-No, I'd like to thank you for
your loyalty and your patience,

particularly over
the last few weeks

when I have not been the
easiest man to work with.

-He-- he did say "weeks."

-And to George, for his
humor and his expertise.

We've met a lot of interesting
people over the years,

haven't we, George?

-Yeah, and most of them dead.

-And, of course,
here's to cousin John,

newly transferred to Midsomer.

I do hope the resident can curb
their murderous inclinations

while he's here.

-I doubt it.

-And finally, Joyce and Cully.

I'd like to thank you for your
unfailing love and support,

despite late night phone calls--

-Uneaten meals.

-Interrupted holiday.

-Don't spoil it.

Here's to you all.

-Cheers.

-If you, um, don't
know my saying so,

Tom, that sounded rather
like a farewell speech.

-Well, there you go.

You see, George, um, I was going
on to say that, um, that Joyce

and I were going a long holiday.

But I-- well, we've
decided that that holiday

will be indefinite.

-Well that, Detective
Sergeant, means

that I am not coming back.

I am retiring.

-Well--

-Something happened
recently, something that

made me take a
long, hard look at--

CULLY: Inspector Barnaby?

Yeah.

Dad, it's for you.

-Um, no.

I don't think it is.

I think that's for the
other Inspector Barnaby.

-Did you--

-No, I didn't.

-Barnaby speaking.

OK.

On my way.

Um, sorry to break up the party,
Tom, but the vicar at Badger's

Drift has been found
hanging from a bell rope.

Sergeant, will you
show me the way?

Make sure I don't get lost.

-Yes, sir.

Yeah.

-Good man.

Good man.

Stephens.

-Oh, jackets.

Yeah.

-Sir.

-Well, they'll probably be
needing me as well, then.

Take it easy, old man.

-This is weird.

-It is.

I'm going to have
my cake and eat it.