All language subtitles for 1 - The Wolvercote Tongue

(Distant bells)

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(Car horns)

GUlDE: This street's caIIed St GiIes

and there's been a fair here every September
since the MiddIe Ages.

The whoIe road is bIocked for days.

AMERlCAN: How do people get around?
- They waIk.

Give us a break, Sheila. My feet are killing me.

I shouId have Iiked Ionger

at Waddesdon myself, wouldn't you, Phil?

What? You gotta be kidding. All those
beautiful chairs and nobody sitting down.

Oh, you're getting old.

Straight ahead is the Martyrs MemoriaI

where the great Protestant martyrs Cranmer,
Ridley and Latimer were burned by Bloody Mary.

That's where the tour starts tomorrow.

WeII, here we are at the hoteI,
Iadies and gentIemen.

There's a porters'strike at the moment,

so I'd be gratefuI
if you couId carry your own Iuggage in.

Anyone with difficuIty, I wiII heIp.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes, thank you.

Oh, my dear!

Glad to get out of that one.

Come on, Laura.

- Everything all right?
- Be right with you.

- Come on. They're all waiting on us.
- Oh, they can wait.

- Eddie, come on, help me outta here.
- Why? You're not helpless.

Oh, Sheila, they've put me on the street and Phil

has a quiet room at the back.
Can you get them to change us round?

l really can't sleep if l'm on a street.
l did tell you that in Cambridge.

Well, if it's all right with you, Mr Aldrich.

Listen, honey, in our church back home,
little Janet here is a deaconess.

So, whatever she says is OK with me.

This hotel is unbelievable.

Ah, come on, Laura. Best foot forward.

l haven't got a best foot. Not any more.

- Room number 1 56, Mr Poindexter.
- Thank you.

SHElLA: Lynn! Lynn!

No messages for me?

No, Mrs WiIIiams.

Thank you, Mr Poindexter.
l hope you enjoy your stay.

Oh, l intend to. Thank you.

Oh, Sheila!

Sheila, you did remember
to tell them l'm a vegan?

l did, yes.

And they do understand the difference here
between vegan and vegetarian,

because at that last place...

This is one of the best hotels in England,
Mrs Roscoe.

Ooh!

- What's next on the agenda?
- Nothing until 6:30, thank God.

- See you guys later.
- Yeah, OK.

At last!

- You had to travel with so much, didn't you?
- Oh, come on!

All right.

- Just give me a little room, will you?
- All right, all right.

- All safe and sound?
- Everything, including me.

Got a few moments? We should talk.

- ls something the matter, Theo?
- l'm afraid so, yes.

- What's the matter?
- l'm afraid l can't meet you this evening.

Why not?

l can't see you again at all.

I'm sorry.

- Where have you two been?
- Looking at Oxford.

On your own?

This isn't New York
and we didn't figure on getting mugged.

- But without a guide?
- l know my way around.

SHlRLEY: Poor Janet.

She can't even go to the bathroom
if it's not part of the programme!

You know Janet.

Howard? Open up, I'm here.

l'll see you later for the briefing.

Laura?

Laura, l'm back.

Come on, honey. Open up.

Are you asleep?

Laura!

MORSE: The Trojans.

One seat.

Yes, onIy one.

Circle.

Best you've got.

No, l don't use plastic. l'll send you a cheque.

- There's no time to cIear your cheque.
- What?!

(Phone rings)

Hang on a moment.

What do you mean, there isn't time?

Laura? Laura?

Laura?

MORSE: Morse.

M-O-R-S-E.

- Can I send you a reservation bookIet?
- No, thank you.

Never, never interrupt me
when l'm booking my seat for the opera, Lewis.

- Sorry, sir.
- l might get Madame Butterfly instead of Berlioz.

l might get Handel, for God's sake!

Now, what's the problem?

- lnspector Morse?
- That's right.

We can't possibly be held responsible.

Guests are warned under no circumstances
to leave valuables in their rooms.

But she didn't leave them, did she?

Didn't leave the room. She still hasn't.

Well, l suppose not,
not technically speaking, but...

l've never actually had anything like this
happen to me before.

Are they going to cancel the tour?

l don't know. l haven't spoken to
the organiser yet. l couldn't find her.

LEWlS: What time was that, Mr Brown?

Ah, sir.

Ah, excuse me.

- What's the story?
- Heart attack, massive coronary.

Thank you, Doctor.
l was speaking to my sergeant.

l'd like to go. l've got a dinner.

Well, l haven't. l'm on duty and no-one leaves
until l've spoken to my sergeant.

- And who are you?
- Morse.

Ah, Morse. ln that case, l'll wait, of course.

But it was still a massive coronary.

Well?

- Bloke went for a walk...
- Excuse me.

..came back, found her dead...

..and somebody had nicked the jewels.

Before she died or after?

- Did she die on the bed there?
- On the floor, actually.

- And you moved her?
- Yes!

Well, then, you've got
some explaining to do, Doctor.

Did no-one ever tell you
about murder in the furtherance of theft?

Yes, but this wasn't murder.
lt was a massive...

..coronary brought on

by the shock and horror of finding
a man in her room nicking her jewellery.

Which means that man, or woman,
could be responsible for her death.

And that could be murder, couldn't it, Lewis?

Wouldn't it be manslaughter, sir?

Possibly.

Very possibly.

Either way, it's a very serious crime.

And the doctor here apparently authorised
the moving of the victim's body,

thereby destroying vital evidence,

just because he had to go to dinner
and he wanted to get on home.

- Look, for God's sake!
- Criminal negligence, wouldn't you say, Lewis?

Look...no-one said anything to me about theft
till after that man had spoken...

Oh, that's all right, then, isn't it?

lt's a pity about the evidence, but er...

..if no-one told you,
then...sorry you've been troubled, Doctor.

Enjoy your evening.

Lewis, get onto Max. Tell him l want to see him.

- Look, lnspector...
- Good evening, Doctor!

He'll be prescribing himself
Tuinal and Rennies all night after that.

lt's true, he didn't know about the theft.
None of us did.

- Mr Poindexter didn't notice for ten minutes.
- Who?

(Door opens)

- l'll deal with this, Eddie.
- OK.

There's nothing
you couId have done about it, Eddie,

not even if you'd been here.

Eddie...

That's Mr Poindexter. He and er...

He and Shirley... That's my wife. They decided
to go for a walk around Oxford together.

Excuse me.

And er...Laura's feet were killing her
and so were mine.

When they got back, Laura was just lying
thereand the Wolvercote Tongue was gone.

MORSE: The what?

The Wolvercote Tongue - it's part of a jewel
in the Ashmolean Museum here in Oxford.

- lt's very old. lt's Anglo-Saxon.
- Wolvercote?

They found it in the Thames
at a place called Wolvercote.

That's North Oxford.
My wife's got an auntie at Wolvercote.

Thank you, Lewis.

lt's some kind of a buckle,
but the tongue is missing.

lt's very elaborate. lt's gold and silver and...

Laura's first husband was quite a coIIector.

He got it a Iong time ago and Laura...
she was going to give it to the museum

to get the two pieces back together again.

You know the Wolvercote Buckle, Lewis.

lt's one of the gems of the Ashmolean.

No, sir. l've never been in the place.

Oh, yes, it's very fine. lt's very fine.

So, this Tongue - it must be worth a lot of money.

- Oh, l guess so.
- Do you know how much, sir?

No, l don't. Laura liked to be mysterious
about how rich she was.

Anything else missing, apart from the Tongue?

l don't know. Shirley might. Um...

Laura had her travelling pearls with her, l guess.

Sorry?

The pearls she carried to wear in the evening,
but they weren't worth very much.

Any idea who her contact was at the museum?

Yes, his name's Kemp, Doctor Theodore Kemp,
and he's waiting for us downstairs right now.

SHElLA: Now, are we aII here?
Have we aII got drinks?

No, Mrs Roscoe, you haven't got a drink.

l don't drink, Sheila.
You'd think she'd know that by now.

Well, l do, l'm afraid.

l'll have another G&T, please.

Anyone seen the Browns and the Poindexters?

JANET: Oh, they're aIways Iate.

Well, while we're waiting,
l'd like to introduce Dr Theodore Kemp

of the AshmoIean, who'II be taking you
round the museum tomorrow afternoon.

And he'll be talking to you this evening
after our Elizabethan dinner.

And Cedric Downes

of St Thomas' CoIIege, who'II be Ieading you
round the coIIeges tomorrow morning.

l hope there won't be too much walking.
Some of us here are suffering with fallen arches

from this trip aIready.

Now, what is too much? We don't have
travelators at Oxford yet, l'm afraid.

lt's only a couple of hours in the morning,
Mr Aldrich,

then a good rest
before the museum in the afternoon.

ActuaIIy, tomorrow's a reIativeIy easy day
compared to the day after-

Blenheim Palace, then Stratford-on-Avon.

l thought it was Stratford-upon-Avon.

Well, yes, it is, of course, but...

And we'll be sitting down there in the theatre.

Fast asleep, if the last production l saw
is anything to go by.

l don't think we'll wait. Cedric, would you...?

Thank you, Sheila.

Before l begin, l wonder
if anyone's interested in modern architecture.

Oxford isn't aII medievaI, you know.

We have some fine examples
of contemporary design.

St Catherine's College, for instance,
by the Danish architect Arne Johansen.

KEMP: Jacobsen, Cedric.

What?

Jacobsen. You said Johansen.

- Did l?
GROUP: Yes, you did.

Yes, you did.

l'm terribly sorry. l meant Jacobsen, of course.

All these Danes!
You never meet one called Hamlet, do you?

- WeII, if anyone is interested...
- Mrs Williams?

Could l have a word?

LEWlS: I'm very sorry, sir,
but Chief Inspector Morse asked for you.

Right, I'II teII him, sir.

Dr Swain has been our doctor for some time.
We've never had any complaints about him.

- Well, sir, that's the Chief lnspector for you.
- What is?

Do you mind if we use your office?

Lewis, this is Mrs Williams,
the group's organiser.

- l'm so sorry about all this...
- lf you wouldn't mind.

- Right. l'll er...
- Thanks.

Sit down. Sit down.

MORSE: You Iook as if you couId do with a drink.

lt's the shock. l...

Anything that Iooks Iike drink round here, Lewis?

- He's got everything, sir.
- What wouId you Iike?

- G&T would be fine.
- A gin and tonic

for the Iady.

How many in your group, Mrs Williams?

Twelve.

That's not very many, is it?

Well, it's rather a special tour for the...
lt's quite expensive.

The whole idea is to be rather exclusive.

Ah.

And the rich do so hate answering questions
about themselves. Have you found that?

l don't know. They don't mind asking them.

l'm afraid l'm going to have to ask everyone
where he or she was

between 4:1 5, when Mr Poindexter left his wife
and went for his walk with Mrs Brown,

and 5:1 5, which is approximately

- when they returned.
SHElLA: I'm sure they won't mind that.

Thanks.

Anything for you, sir?

No, thank you, Lewis. Not on duty.

WouId you Iike to go about your enquiries?

Oh, and ask Dr Kemp
if he'II come here and see me, wiII you?

Another?

l'm sorry. l...

Nothing to be sorry about.

And where were you between those times?

l'm sorry. Sorry.

Look, if this is all too much for you...

(Pours drink)

Had you got to like Mrs Poindexter?

No, it's not Mrs Poindexter. She was...
She was very difficult.

Not that I'm not sorry.

No, it...

lt's something else.

Ask Dr Kemp. He'll explain.

Sheila, l...

COUPLE: Hello! Yoo-hoo!

Drink?

No, no. Better keep a clear head.

- Really, sir? What for?
- This news. lt's...

- lt's...
- You knew the lady well?

No, no. We'd never met.
We'd corresponded, of course.

No, what l meant was...

lt's taken me 1 5 years to get
the Wolvercote Tongue to Oxford, lnspector.

l've even set up a special display, and now...

You want to show me?

- May l phone my wife? She'll be expecting me.
- Mm.

WeII, I thought

it was very peculiar.

l mean, Mr Poindexter and Mrs Brown
going out together.

- Why's that, madam?
- Well...l'd rather not say.

But you have said now, haven't you?

And you are sure
you saw them coming back at 5:1 5?

Oh, positive. l looked at the clock.

The group was due to meet again, you see,

and l thought they'd only just have time
to be down again for the briefing.

l thought the whole thing most extraordinary.

MORSE: By the way, sir, what were you doing
between 4:1 5 and 5:1 5?

You were with Mrs Williams, l understand.

- Yes.
- What were you doing?

l really don't see
what bearing it has on this, you know.

May l be the judge of that, sir?

- Very well. l was ending our affair.
- l see.

l doubt it, and l very much doubt if it has
anything to do with the Wolvercote Tongue.

l'm a married man, lnspector.
My wife and l...

- l try not to do anything to hurt her.
- So other women get hurt instead.

Sometimes.

Here you are.

MORSE: So that's the buckIe,
and Mrs Poindexter had the tongue.

They fitted together like that.

They were to be united
for the first time in eIeven hundred years.

- Weren't they found together, then?
- No, no.

A smaII boy stubbed his foot
against the buckIe in 1 873

swimming in a pooI
beIow the WoIvercote Bridge.

It caused quite a fuss at the time.
WeII, as you can see,

it's an exceptional object.
lt was claimed as treasure-trove.

That word ''treasure'', lnspector,
it brings out the worst in people.

Treasure hunters began to appear.
One of them found the Tongue,

kept it, sold it to a London dealer,
who in turn sold it to an American collector,

who lent it to an exhibition
in Philadelphia in 1 922,

which was the first
any of us over here heard about it.

But even then, the connection with the buckle
wasn't made until the 1 970s.

- Who did that?
- Me.

l had this done for the show that never was.

She was going to leave it to the museum,

Mrs Poindexter.

l've got it in writing.
Whether she put it in her will or not...

What's it worth?

On the legitimate market? lmpossible to say.

Nothing like this has come up for 50 years.
A quarter of a million, half.

- More, perhaps.
- And as stolen property?

Nothing. Everybody knows it's stolen.

What about these mad coIIectors, these...

drug dealers in Bolivia, that sort of thing?

l don't think they're very interested
in Anglo-Saxon jewellery.

Who is, then?

l can't think.

Was anything else stolen?

Her travelling pearls.

Well, it's obviously a common thief.

He'll get a couple of hundred pounds
for the pearls

and when he finds out from the papers
what he's got,

he'II...

l'm sorry, sir.
Thieves almost never give things back.

No, they just throw them away, don't they?

Perhaps if we're lucky,
in another eleven hundred years

someone will discover
the Wolvercote Tongue all over again.

All right if l go home now?

l thought you were with the group.

l am, but my wife...

- Yes, yes. l've got time.
- Time for what?

To go there and come back
before l have to make myself cheerful

in front of these bloody geriatric Americans.

lf you don't like it, why do you do it?

l shan't again. l only did it to help someone.

Why the bloody hell Morse has to drag me out
to confirm a perfectly ordinary heart attack...

- l think he thought perhaps it wasn't ordinary.
- He thought wrong, as usual.

Ah, Morse. Not enough to do?

- What?
- Setting up as pathologist, l hear.

- l wanted a second opinion.
- There's only one possible opinion.

She had a massive coronary.
She was dead in two seconds flat.

- Fell on her face. You can see the bruises.
- Where?

Where?

Here, here,

and here.

l mean, where was she lying when she fell?

Just...about here, sir.

Yes.

Banged into the bedpost.

Here's a nice little scrape of skin.

Look.

Could she have had the heart attack
after she fell?

- l couldn't say.
- Come on, Max.

Not possibly.

- Could she have been pushed?
- She could have been.

And an angel of God could have stepped
out of the wardrobe and called her home.

That is not for me to say. You're the detective.

All l can say is, she died of natural causes.

(Knock at door)

Good evening, dear.

Come back later on.

Something funny.

The death and the theft.

There must be a connection somewhere.

lf only we knew exactly when.

Sometime between 4:1 5 and 5:1 5.
l thought you'd established that.

You couldn't be a little more precise for me?

Out of the question.

Now, if you've finally decided
it wasn't a decapitation or dismemberment...

Where are you off to? High table somewhere?

Area Health Authority annual dinner.

Dr Swain will be there.
l'll give him your compliments, shall l?

- Good night, Lewis.
- Good night.

Try not to let Morse drink so much.

It's rotting his powers of reason.

Did you find out where everyone was?

Yeah, they've all got alibis, more or less.

They were either in their rooms or having tea.

Oh, they all seemed to know
about this Tongue thing.

Mrs Poindexter was always showing it to people,

apparentIy.

- So it definitely was hers, then, and not his?
- Seems Iike it.

And who inherits? Who gets the insurance?

If it was insured.

- It was insured, I'm certain. I don't recaII which...
SHlRLEY: Is it reaIIy necessary

- to ask all these questions, lnspector?
- Shirley.

He'sjust doing hisjob.

MORSE: Thank you, sir.

Just one more question.
Who stands to benefit from the insurance

now your wife is dead?

Is it you, sir?

l don't know. Well, l guess so.

I...I don't have that information here.

All right. Thank you very much.

JOHN DOWLAND: Flow My Tears

Flow my tears, fall from your spring...

No, l was at Jesus, one of the less fashionable
colleges. Welsh, you know.

- Founded 1 57 1.
- l thought Jesus was at Cambridge.

No, no, he went to Bethlehem Tech!

ls that the English sense of humour?

Where else would he go to do carpentry?

l don't see anything funny in blasphemy.

Besides, they didn't have colleges
in Palestine in those days.

(Laughter)

My noble lords, is there a Master
Cedric Downes attendant on this festal board?

Yes, what? Me. Why?

A messenger awaits without, my lord.

- You're wanted on the phone.
- Really? You have a phone in all this farrago?

Sure they have, fella,
but you gotta speak in blank verse

or the caIIer hangs up.

None but my winsome wife knows where l am.

Fair Sheila of the brimming glass,

wilt thou forgive my absence
while l speak with her?

Go ahead.

Go ahead. Say hello for me.

A glass of that Chardonnay
would be perfect, dear.

Hello.

Oh, Cedric, hello. Hello. Yes, it's Theo here.

Look, my dear fellow, l'm terribly sorry
to do this to you at such short notice,

but Marion's really not feeling at all well
and l shall have to stay with her.

You could... Could you explain to Sheila?

- And...yes...
- (Woman giggles)

Would you mind awfully
filling in for me after dinner?

(Wine uncorked and poured)

- Oh, really, Theo. l'm not just your dogsbody.
- No, of course, of course.

l know you aren't, but l really have no choice.
l'll make it up to you another time, l promise.

SheiIa'II understand -
if she isn't too far gone, that is.

- Too late. She's well away.
- She is? Oh, dear. WeII, there you are.

No, it's you l'm asking the favour of, Cedric,
not her.

But l won't know what to say.

l know about architecture,
not your art historical waffle.

Well, all right. l suppose so.

Thank you so very much, Cedric.

And could you...could you possibly tell Sheila

that l'll see her tomorrow afternoon
as per schedule?

l am awfully sorry about this. No, really, l am.

Yes. Thank you.

Thank you so very much.

Where's that Chardonnay?

Going upstairs with me!

(Giggles)

You'll have to explain, Sheila.

l'm an architectural historian,
not a museum keeper.

You'll be fine. Stop panicking.

Do l understand Dr Kemp
is not going to be speaking after dinner?

l'm afraid not, Mrs Roscoe.

His wife's ill, as usual.

- But he's on the programme to speak.
- l know, but...

Some of us only picked this tour, Sheila,

because we were told
we were going to have lectures from experts.

PHlL: Janet, knock it off. The man's wife's sick.
SHElLA: Where are you going?

l'll just pop home to get my notes.
One doesn't want to let the group down.

- l'll be as quick as l can.
- What about your syIIabub?

There you go.

Thanks.

Mm.

- Well kept.
- So it should be at that price.

lt's worse than London.

- You know what, Lewis?
- No, what?

lf only we knew which came first -
the death or the theft.

l don't see what difference it makes,
not if she died of natural causes.

What if it made a difference to the thief?

Don't follow you.

Mrs Poindexter...
she's going to leave this Tongue to the museum.

Mr Poindexter...

Did you believe him?

Well, seemed a bit bewildered.
lt's only natural.

Have you ever met a rich man that didn't know
the name of his insurance company?

ln a crisis, it's the first thing they think of.

Yeah, but it wasn't his, this Tongue thing.
lt was hers.

Even so.

Come on, Lewis.
We're going back to the scene of the crime.

Hey, l've hardly started!

- Any luck?
- No, sir. Just the chambermaid.

- Perhaps she did it, then.
LEWlS: No, sir. She had the afternoon off.

She was at an aerobics cIass down Jericho.

- Do you notice anything, Lewis?
- What sort of thing?

Anything.

Well, everything's been tidied up.

Wait a minute.

Her shoes. How did they get there?

- Mrs Brown. She took these off.
- What are you talking about?

Mrs Brown took these off Mrs Poindexter
when they laid her on the bed.

But Mrs Poindexter
was complaining about her feet.

What's the first thing a woman with sore feet
does when she comes home?

Kicks off her shoes, right?

So if you ask me, she could have died
the moment she walked through that door.

Yes. Poindexter...

Where is Poindexter?

- He took a taxi.
- When?

8:30.

- Did he say where he was going?
- Not to me.

Don't taxis usually want to know?

- Yes, but he doesn't seem to have told them.
- Which firm?

Radio Taxis.

- Get onto them right away.
- Has something happened?

Oh, not much, no. Only theft, murder
and now, quite possibly, suicide.

You found it all right, then?

Fiona!

MORSE: The Wolvercote Buckle,
the Wolvercote Bridge - it all adds up.

LEWlS: To what, though?
- l don't know.

Of course, it could have been a blind.

What?

Well, if this thing's so valuable
and he can't sell it here, maybe he wants to try

- and smuggIe it abroad.
- Very ingenious.

Since when has Wolvercote had an airport?

Maybe he had a car there already waiting.

Maybe he's on his way to Heathrow right now.

(Brakes squeal)

Get onto HQ.
Tell 'em to issue an all-ports warning.

Message from DCl Morse.

He wants you to issue an all-ports warning
for Edward Poindexter.

(Radio crackles)

Poindexter.

Yeah. He's an American,

about 5' 1 1"...

6' 1 ''.

Maybe 6' 1 ''.

Eyes green, grey hair, aged...

about 60. Light-blue suit, fawn raincoat.

Elias Ashmole,
for who the museum is named,

was a distinguished antiquarian, an astrologer,
and a great collector of curiosities.

- He lived from...
- Oh, God!

..1 61 7 to 1 692.

The basis of his collection
was the collection of John Tradescant,

who was gardener to Charles l,

like his father before him.

That is, John Tradescant's father
was the gardener,

not, of course, EIias AshmoIe.

(Laughs) Don't worry.
I'II get the hang of this in a minute.

(Geese calling)

MORSE: Amazing to think, isn't it?
LEWlS: What?

PeopIe crossing the river here.

Hundreds and hundreds of years...
weII, thousands, probabIy.

They've got to cross somewhere.

My wife's auntie lives just along there.

l wish l could see the connection,

between the theft and the death.

There's something missing, Lewis.

Edward Poindexter? He's missing.

Something else.

You reckon there's anything more
we can do tonight?

- No, sir.
- We'll be fresher in the morning.

You'd better get on home.

l'm...l'm working all night tonight, sir.

The wife's decorating.

Well, shouldn't you be helping her?

l did my back in last time, painting the ceiling.

l'd just as soon do the overtime
and get a professional in.

Well...

- Excuse me, Officer.
- Just hang on a minute, will you?

lt's not that late yet, madam.

I expect he's stiII on his way home.

But he's never late,
or l wouldn't be ringing you, Officer.

He's always home when he says he'll be.
Earlier, usually.

He was dining somewhere, then giving
a brief Iecture, then coming straight home.

To a group of American tourists
staying at the Randolph.

l can't. Please don't ask me why. l just can't.

Her name's Williams. Sheila Williams.

I can't.

If you couIdjust ring her for me,
ask if anything's happened.

(Woman screams)

Ah, Morse.

Now you're a pathologist, l expect you'd like
to give your opinion before you see the corpse.

Poindexter, you say his name was?

Suicide by drowning.

Back to school for you, l'm afraid.
Wrong on both counts.

- What?
- Go and see for yourself.

- Max!
- No, no, no. You're the expert.

Oh, God.

What?

What's the matter?

Why the bloody hell
did you say it was Poindexter?

l'm sorry, sir. l just assumed.

When they said they'd found a man in the river...

A man? That's not a man.
That's Dr Theodore Kemp.

- How long was he in the water?
- Oh, l couldn't possibly say.

- Roughly?
- Not more than six hours.

Oh, for God's sake!
lt's less than six hours since I saw him.

Well, there you are.

You know better than me...as usual.

- Any witnesses?
- To what?

To your meeting with the victim?

- None that l know of.
- Then you'd better arrest yourself.

You work on the principle that the last person
to see someone alive killed him.

Oh, by the way, Swain is going to report you
to the Chief Constable.

Good morning.

l did tell you we none of us knew about the theft
till Poindexter noticed.

Yeah, where the hell is Poindexter?

Want me to put the all-ports warning out again?

Oh, l don't know.

There aren't any planes this time of night,
are there?

No idea.

Bloody hell.

Anyone in a river,

- he drifts, doesn't he?
- Suppose so.

And if he was dumped, it has to be upstream.

Wolvercote.

Wrong river.
This isn't the Thames, it's the Cherwell.

There's such a thing as the boot of a car, Lewis.

Yes, what if he arranged to meet Kemp...

..on the bridge at Wolvercote,
the place where the buckle was found...?

- Who?
- Poindexter, of course.

Yes, he arranges to meet him at a certain time,

comes up behind him,

hits him with the jack of a car,
puts him in the boot,

drives him to the Cherwell.

Why go to all that trouble? lf he's by the Thames,
why not chuck him in the Thames?

lt's less suspicious.
He knows we'll trace the taxi.

Wouldn't Kemp think that was a bit odd?

Him being so interested in where the buckle
was found a couple of hours after his wife's died.

Not if they were in it together.

ln what?

- An insurance fiddle?
- No, no, no.

These people aren't interested
in a measly quarter of a million insurance.

Poindexter's not going to murder his wife...
All right, all right.

l know they all say natural causes,
but l don't believe that.

Not now, not any more, not after this.

No. No, if they were involved...

There must be a connection. There must be.

Oh, for God's sake, Lewis!

- Be of some use for once!
- Why was Dr Kemp naked?

To make identification of the corpse
more difficult.

Gain time.

l think you'd better go
and break the news to Mrs Kemp.

Me?

Why me?

- What are you going to do?
- l'm going to break the news to his ex-mistress.

Where does Mrs Williams live?

- Did you find out?
- Cutteslowe. 1 1 ...

Markham Avenue.

- That's upstream of here.
- Yes, sir.

She did have a motive, didn't she?

You think a woman could have done that to him?

Hell hath no fury, Lewis.

Why?

MORSE: We don't know. We were wondering
if you might be abIe to heIp us.

This afternoon, you er...

You had a row, l gather.

God, if anyone was going to kiII themseIves
after that, it was me, not him.

Look, l'm sorry. l can't take this in.
ls Theodore really...?

l'm afraid so, yes.

l'm sorry to ask you at a time like this,
Mrs Williams.

My name is SheiIa.

Just...just what did pass
between you two this afternoon, Sheila?

- Only my life.
- What?

Oh, you wouldn't understand.

You're married, l'm sure,
with a lovely wife and two lovely children.

- As a matter of fact, l'm a bachelor.
- Oh, well,

it's aII right for men.

l was married once.

That's why

- I've got aII this.
- Very nice.

Oh, yes, he had impeccable taste.

That's why he left me for someone else.
They all do.

There was someone else, then, with Dr Kemp?

Always.

Who was that?

His wife.

He was always rushing off home
to his bloody wife.

AII right!

AII right, I'm coming.

Police, Mrs Kemp.

For heaven's sake,

didn't they tell you l was a cripple?

Police! No wonder there's so much crime about.

Well, have you found him yet?
Don't just stand there. Come in, come in.

He rang in the middIe of dinner,
wanting to speak to Cedric.

- What time wouId that have been?
- 8:1 5, 8:00.

I don't know.
I'd had one or two G&Ts by that time.

Or shouId I say Gs &T?

Oh...

Gs &T, definitely.

l suppose you think l'm a very wicked woman.

l wouldn't go that far.

l do drink too much.

So do l.

But, then, what's too much? Cheers.

My husband skidded on the bypass.
My side of the car went into the Iorry.

l have to be put to bed.

Yes, it's very dangerous, that bypass.

Not for the driver, on this occasion.
He walked away without a scratch.

Sometimes I wish he'djust kiIIed me
and had done with it.

l'm sure he does. He can't get rid of me
the way he could a normal wife.

And he has to stay with me
when he'd rather be out having fun.

What time did he get back this evening?

7:30-ish. Made my supper.
Oh, he's very good about it. Can't complain.

- Not aIIowed to compIain. CrippIes aren't.
- And then he went off to this dinner?

That's where he said he was going.

Said he'd be back around 1 1 .
Where he actually went...

- And you've no idea where it might have been?
- Not if it wasn't to Sheila bloody Williams.

What he ever saw
in that oversexed, pathetic alcoholic...

SHElLA: I don't know if I'm in shock

- or I've got a hangover.
- lt's a bit of both, l expect.

You've reaIIy no idea
why Dr Kemp might want to kiII himseIf?

Theo? No.

He's...

He's everything to live for.

No. There's been moments
when l've wanted to kill him, but...

Oh?

But more his wife.

Ah.

You see...

l've been slightly misleading you.

Sheila...

Dr Kemp didn't kill himself. He was murdered.

Any idea who eIse, beside yourseIf,
might want him dead?

He was so upset about the Wolvercote Tongue.
He's been waiting years to see it.

Why didn't he go and see it in America?

There's aII these cheap fIights.

l wouldn't let him.
l'm not going to stay here on my own,

not after what he's done to me.

l wasn't very nice about it.

You don't suppose...?
He wouldn't have...

Look.

There's something you ought...

There's something I ought to teII you.

Oh, my God, he's dead.

(Crying) Theo!

Theo!

l'm sorry. l'd better get back.

l've got to...

You know, l've got...l've got to find out who...

Yes, yes, of course.

You really thought l might have killed him?

l didn't know.

You shouIdn't Iisten to what peopIe say
when they're drunk, Inspector.

l've never been suspected of murder before.

Thank you for being so polite about it.

Oh.

Well...

What's your name?

lf l'm going to help you with your enquiries,
l can't keep calling you lnspector.

Morse. lt's just...

Just Morse.

lt might be as well
not to say anything to the group in the morning,

not until we're a bit further forward.

God, you hear of travellers' tales! What are
this lot going to say when they get home?

Good night. l'll...

l'll see myself out.

Morse. What have you got for me?

Sergeant Lewis wants to see you right away.

Right. Tell him to meet me at home.

MORSE: Yes, keep the aII-ports warning.

Yes, my responsibiIity.

(Chimes)

The man's a psychopath.

He's kiIIed twice in ten hours.

(Morse hangs up)

- Oh, for God's sake, Lewis.
- Sorry, sir.

You know, we never got to talk properly
to Mr Poindexter before he disappeared, did we?

No, he was in shock, supposedly.

Well, that's just it. Who supposed it?

What?

Mr and Mrs Brown, wasn't it?

Mrs Brown says she went for a walk with him.

Mr Brown says
he was taking a nap in the next-door room

while Mrs Poindexter was dropping dead
and this Tongue was getting itself stolen.

Mr and Mrs Brown.

They're the ones saying that Poindexter
was too upset to answer questions.

Go on, this is interesting.

Well, that's it, really.

They couId have been in on it with Poindexter.
That's what I was thinking.

Yes, so Iet's think a bit further.

Mr Poindexter and Mrs Brown go for a waIk,

Ieaving Mrs Poindexter and Mr Brown asIeep.

Yeah, that's what l said.

Together, Lewis.

What?

Yes, that's it.

Laura Poindexter
was having an affair with Howard Brown.

It's a crime passionneI, Lewis.

Eddie comes back after his walk,
catches them together.

She hadn't taken her shoes off.

Anyway, peopIe that age?

They say sex can be very good for the over-65s.

- Oh, do they?
- Hope for us aII.

Especially if we didn't get much before 65.

You've got sex on the brain.

''lt is when he thinks he's past love,
it is then he meets his last love.''

- Pardon?
- Love's Old Sweet Song, Lewis.

It comes into it somewhere, I know it does.

And a woman dies,

an artwork goes missing,

a man goes missing,
an art expert is murdered...

It must aII fit together. It must do.

Wake up, Lewis.

I want a watch
on Mr and Mrs Brown this morning.

And l want it eagle-eyed.

(Chatter)

To the brat pack.

(Champagne cork pops)

l didn't say anything last night,

as l didn't want to be a nuisance
and spoil other people's enjoyment.

But you probably noticed,
l didn't touch my syllabub.

- Oh, but it was delicious.
- lt was made with animal fat. l could taste it.

- Luckily, it was my very first spoonful.
- She has a fantastic palate.

But it's wasted on a teetotaller.

Well, l'm awfully sorry.
l did give the firmest instructions. There's Cedric.

- Will you excuse me a moment?
- The group should come before the guide.

l shall be writing a letter to the tour company
when l get home.

You do that, Mrs Roscoe.
l'm sure it'll be much more satisfactory

- than complaining to me.
- l'm not complaining to you.

l'm complaining about you.

Jolly good!

God, that woman!
l'd like to add her to the list of Oxford Martyrs.

Are you all right? You look terrible.

Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Just what l wanted to hear.

Actually, l feel at death's door. l'll tell you later.

Oh, l think they're all here now.
You cope with them. l can't.

Hi. Good morning. Any news?

About Eddie.

Right, Iadies and gentIemen.
It's a IoveIy morning and we've got a Iot to see.

This way.

CEDRlC: The Martyrs MemoriaI,

which was designed
by that great Victorian architect GiIbert Scott,

exampIes of whose work we shaII be Iooking at,
weII, aII over Oxford this morning.

The memoriaI commemorates
the burning to death

of Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury,

Nicholas Ridley, Bishop of London,
and Hugh Latimer, Bishop of er...

- Worcester!
- (Traffic noise)

..of Worcester. Thank you, Mrs Roscoe.

These three celebrated clerics

were, of course, Protestants

who declined to recant their religious beliefs

when required to do so by er...

..weII, Iet's say by Queen Mary,

popuIarIy known as BIoody Mary,

who was, of course, Catholic, and married to...

PhiIip II

of Spain.

Quite so.

l didn't know any of you were so interested

in the religious controversies of the 1 6th century,

but if you are, the fact remains that the memorial
is not the actual site of the burnings

which took pIacejust around the corner

in Broad Street, where there is a brass plaque
which we shall inspect in a moment.

How can people do such things?

l don't know. l have to go back to the hotel.

- What's the matter?
- Stomach cramps. See you later.

- Are you sure you're all right?
- lt's only the ulcer acting up again.

Don't you worry about me.

Latimer turned to RidIey
just as the fIame was put to the...

Pyre!

And said, "Be of good comfort,

Master Ridley, and play the man.

We shall this day light such a torch,

by God's grace, in EngIand,

as l trust shall never be put out.''

- What did he say?
- He said torch. He meant candle.

Latimer said,
''We shall this day light such a candle,''

Mr Downes.

As well as the main blow, which killed him,
there was this other lighter superficial one.

Left a long scratch on the back of his shoulder.

- What was it?
- Oh, an instrument.

BIunt?

Quite sharp.

Look.

What instrument, Max?

l couldn't possibly say.

Could that have been done
if he'd been wearing a shirt?

Ah.

A not unintelligent question.

No.

- I don't think it couId.
- Then he was naked when he was killed.

- l wouldn't go that far.
- Why not?

The wound only extends
as far as the lower scapula.

He couId have been wearing
an off-the-shouIder toga.

Pinned together by the Wolvercote Tongue.

- If onIy we knew where that was.
-Well, it wasn't on his person.

Max, you didn't!

You wouIdn't.

He didn't swallow it, either.

He didn't swallow anything after tea.
He died before he dined.

Want to see?

(Laughs)

POLlCE RADlO: X-ray to Chief Inspector Morse.

Morse. Yes?

Sergeant Lewis has foIIowed Howard Brown
to Didcot RaiIway Museum.

- Where?
-The RaiIway Museum at Didcot.

Good God!

Yawning again, Lewis.
l'll have you up in front of the Superintendent.

Ah, you're here.

- What's he doing?
- Playing trains.

- Has he talked to anyone?
- Engine drivers.

- How long's he been here?
- About three quarters of an hour.

Well, l'm not standing around all morning
taking numbers. Come on.

Excuse me, sir. Do you mind if l have a word?

CEDRlC: The quadrangle was built in 1 683...

JANET: Don't you think
you should go and see Howard?

SHlRLEY: Oh, no. His ulcer's always playing up.

..the mound. Nobody's quite sure what that is.

But like everything else in New College,
it's extremely old.

SHlRLEY: Then why do they call it new,
Ceedric...er, Cedric?

Because it's old, honey.
Haven't you learned anything yet, Shirley?

The official name is the St Mary's College
of Winchester in Oxford,

but there was already a St Mary's College
when it was founded in 1 379,

so it has always just been known as New.

What happened to the other St Mary's?

l'm sorry. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

l know it as well as l know my own name.
l don't know what's the matter with me today.

Oriel College. We just went there.

Of course. Thank you, Mrs Roscoe.
Where would we be without you?

- Now, if you'd all like to follow me...
- l'm going to write to the tour company.

Will you and Howard sign the letter?
lf we all sign, maybe we could get a refund.

lt's not a crime not to like medieval architecture.

l'm an engineer. Always worked with machinery.

MORSE: Why did you slip away from the group

like that?

lt wasn't the group, it was my wife.

Shirley thinks it's childish, me liking trains,
but l still like them.

So, when we're on vacation,

I get stomach cramps and I skip the architecture

and take myseIf off
to the IocaI industriaI museum.

Tell me everything you know
about Edward Poindexter.

Where is he? ls he OK?

l was rather hoping you'd tell me.
You're friends, aren't you?

We're in the same line of business. Well...

- Well, what?
- What do you want to know all this for?

Dr Kemp is dead, Mr Brown.

- He was brutally murdered last night.
- Oh, my God!

Shortly after your friend disappeared,
with or without the Wolvercote Tongue.

You can't suspect Eddie.
Eddie wouldn't have...

Perhaps for a start, you'd like to tell me
just who owns what in the Poindexter family.

Laura owns everything. Well, she...

Eddie had a small business.
Agricultural machinery. He went bust.

Laura was a rich widow.
He and her husband had been old friends.

He married her. That's all there is to it.

So he stands to benefit by his wife's death?

Well, not really.
Laura has everything tied up in trusts.

There's one for Eddie,
but he only gets an income. There's no capital.

All the rest goes to Laura's children
under her first husband's will,

except what's in her checking account, l guess.

Eddie may get that, but...
it would only be petty cash.

What about the Wolvercote Tongue?

Laura was leaving that
to the Ashmolean Museum.

Does your friend Eddie know much
about old jewellery, and such?

He took an interest. He and Laura
added to the collection now and then.

So he'd know the dealers
and how to dispose of this Tongue?

Yeah, l'd guess so.

- IIIegaIIy?
- Oh, no. Not Eddie. Not Eddie.

He'd get a bit more than petty cash for it,
I dare say.

WeII, thank you, Mr Brown.
You've been very heIpfuI. Can we give you a Iift?

Thanks, but there's a train in 30 minutes
that will just get me back in time for lunch.

Yes, yes, beautiful things.
Pity they're obsolete.

And don't disappear again
without telling us, will you?

Motive, Lewis. At last we've got a motive.

CAR STEREO: BERLlOZ: Les Troyens

For theft, not murder.

Well, Kemp knew about the theft.
He must have done.

God, he wanted that Tongue so badly, Lewis.

Must have been a heII of a fight
before he ended up in the river.

With no clothes on.

Yes.

Yes, where are his clothes, Lewis?

Where the heII are Kemp's cIothes?

Better ask...the last person that saw him alive.

Or heard him.

Yes, we never really talked
to Mr Cedric Downes, did we, Lewis?

Lewis!

Bloody hell!

(Turns volume up)

Eddie!

Eddie!

Eddie!

Eddie!

Eddie!

Eddie!

(Turns music off)

- Where are we?
- Oxford, Lewis. The place where we work.

- Some of us.
- l must have been asleep.

Oh, really? Didn't notice any difference.

It's that music of yours.
I don't know. It puts me right out.

That music, Lewis, was BerIioz.

- Where are we?
- Cedric Downes's house.

- (Lewis yawns)
- Lewis!

- Yes?
- Good morning, madam.

ls Mr Downes in? Mr Cedric Downes.

Oh, good Lord. He's not here, l'm afraid.

He's showing some Americans round Oxford.

Ah, of course.

l'm sorry. Can l be of any help? l'm Mrs Downes.

Perhaps you can, madam. May we come in?

Yes. Yes, of course. This way.

Mind that thing.
lt's bitten me twice this morning already.

Sorry. Come on in here.

l'm...l'm just on my way to London.
l've got to change some curtains.

You really can't trust anyone these days.
l asked for French pleats, but they...

Sorry. Sorry, do sit down.

l'd offer you coffee
but the taxi will be here in a moment.

Cedric usually takes me to the station.
l've never learned to drive.

Well, what's the point in Oxford?
The parking's so horrendous.

l'm sorry. You know that, don't you?

Sorry.

lt's routine, really. We just need to know
exactly what happened last night.

- You see, your husband was...
- lt's so awful about Theo. l couldn't believe it

when Cedric rang to teII me.

I mean...ghastIy.

His poor wife.

He rang your husband
in the middle of dinner, l understand.

Yes. Yes, Cedric came rushing back
to get his notes.

l was having a salad.
l wasn't expecting him at all.

He just grabbed the notes and rushed out again.

- And then?
- Then what?

What time did he come home again,
Mrs Downes?

Oh...eleven.

Quarter to. l don't know. Sorry.

l was watching some rubbish on TV.

When I was a student I had a decent brain,
but nowadays...

(Knock at window)

Oh. Er...just a minute.

Well, he's early. He can wait.

As a matter of fact, l think that's all, thank you.
Unless you've got any questions, Lewis?

What's French pleats?

Like that. The way they're gathered at the top.

Only, my wife wants some new curtains,
and l was wondering...

Yes, l'm sure Mrs Downes is very

interested, Lewis, but another time, perhaps.

She has got a train to catch.

- Do you know when you'll be back?
- Five o'clock. Why?

Shall l ask him to meet you?
You know what taxis are like then.

Thanks, but my husband's coming to collect me.

- Thank you. Goodbye.
- Goodbye, madam.

Nice woman, that.

Got a lot of life to her.
Do you know what l mean?

- Yes, and you're a married man.
- That's not what l mean.

You've got a one-track mind.

Yes. l want to know who murdered Kemp.

Where's the Cherwell from here?

Do you think this was the launching place?

- For what?
- Theodore Kemp,

into eternity.

- lnto the river, anyway.
- Well, he didn't live far away.

Nor do the Downes.

Downes couldn't have done it.

He didn't have time. He was talking all evening.

Well, except for maybe about half an hour.

Perhaps it was Mrs Downes, then.

Oh, you can't think that, surely.

l don't think, Lewis.

l deduce.

l only ever deduce.

There you are, Shirley.
l've been looking for you all over.

- Are you OK?
- l'm fine. The pain only lasted ten minutes.

- Where were you?
- Everywhere. lt was just great.

- You won't forget the letter, Shirley.
- How were the spires today? Dreamy?

l really do think, Sheila...

l envy you so much, Mrs Roscoe.
l haven't had a thought for years.

Oh, Cedric. How that woman has lived this long
without getting murdered, l'll never...

Everybody, everybody. Listen, listen.

While we've got a moment
without our so-called leader and guide,

l've got a letter of complaint l want you all to sign.
This tour is completely ridiculous.

Drinking again?

Yes.

And so would you.

Cedric...

Theo's dead.

He died last night.
l'm sorry, l'm not supposed to tell anyone, but...

Cedric, he was murdered.

That's not possible.

Who...? Why...?

Here, come with me.

Of course, you know
who has the best motive, don't you?

Your friend Mrs Williams.

No, she couldn't have done it.
She was with the group all evening.

lt was Poindexter. Has to be.

l still can't make out why Kemp was naked.

All right, then. Why are people naked?

To wash.

Yes, yes, yes, but what else?

What else do people take their clothes off for?

Sunbathing.

Come on, Lewis. You are the married man.

Well, you don't take off all your clothes to do that.
Not necessarily.

A lot of people do, l'm told.

So let's suppose...

Just let's suppose that Dr Theodore Kemp
was making love to a lady.

Since we know that lady couldn't be his wife
because of the car crash...

Yes.

Yes, the husband, or whoever,
comes in, catches them,

hits him with whatever's to hand,

kills him.

Got to get rid of the corpse.

You can't dress the corpse.
Difficult to dress a corpse. We know that.

- Especially for a woman.
- What?

Well, you said a husband.
What about a jealous woman?

Sheila Williams could not have done it, Lewis.
She was at that restaurant.

What we've got to do is to find out
who Dr Kemp's new bit of the other was.

The only person to ask that is the widow.

She knew all about this hanky-panky, didn't she?

Probably gone to relatives.

Damn!

Look through the window.

And what do you think you're doing, may l ask?

Mrs Kemp, are you awake?

You've got visitors.

Mrs Kemp?

Get Max here right away.

l don't care, Janet. l wasn't there.

l am not going to criticise someone
when l haven't heard him lecture.

Well, l won't press it.
l expect you're still upset about Laura.

Ladies and gentlemen,
if l might have your attention.

l have some bad news.
Dr Kemp has been taken ill.

What does it say?

- Couldn't bear to live without him.
- So unoriginal, suicides.

- lt definitely was suicide?
- l can't say until l've done the autopsy.

- Would you dare to hazard a guess?
- Certainly not. lt wouldn't be professional.

- lt looks like suicide.
- You can't believe everything you read.

Max!

You're looking wan, Morse. Very wan.

l hope you're not letting
all these deaths prey on your mind.

- l didn't get any sleep last night, that's all.
- Join the club.

Look, l'm just about to question her
and l find her dead.

- ls there any chance she might possibly...
- Oh, there's always a chance.

What percentage?

Three corpses in 20 hours.

- Are they paying me overtime?
- Pax, Max.

l should say, roughly one chance in ten million
it wasn't suicide.

She's probably taken enough to kill an elephant.

Thanks, Max.

Afternoon, Nurse.

JANET: Did we see the Meissen, PhiI?

We didn't see the Meissen.

We saw quite enough for me. Come on.

Thanks a lot, Sheila.

You filled in yourself.

There was no-one else. When l stop drinking,
l'm quite a capable woman.

- l can believe that.
- Thank you.

l'm sorry to ask you this, Sheila,
but Mrs Kemp told Sergeant Lewis

that, well, she very much disliked you.

She's one of those women
that always tell the truth.

To people's faces, too.
She did to me the only time l met her.

Yes, but if...if she was paralysed...

Oh, she didn't mind him having affairs, she said.

lt was the women he had them with
she couldn't stand,

especially if they were tiresome like me,

and wanted too much of his time and got drunk
and rang him up when he was busy and...

l'm sure Mrs Kemp will tell you
that l'm a very difficult woman.

And she wouldn't be too far wrong.
Why don't you ask her?

l can't. She killed herself this afternoon.

Poor woman.

She loved him as much as l did.

Do you know of anyone else who loved him?

Was there a third woman in his life?

He said not.

- He swore it.
- And you believed him.

Mmm.

All right.

Thank you.

(Exchanges of admiration)

l want one!

- l want one.
- You want one of those? You gotta be kidding!

Well, if you've all had a good look,
perhaps we should move on to the Greek vases.

Ah!

There's Aunt Cissy's cottage.
lt's hardly changed at all.

- lnspector.
- Mr Brown. You got home on time, then?

Not only that. l saw Eddie.

At Didcot. He was heading for London on a train.

- When?
- About 1 1 :35.

- Why the hell didn't you tell me?
- You weren't in your office.

But l got it. l got it right there.

Yeah, all right. Thanks.

Yeah. l'll tell him.

(Sighs) No joy.

No sign of Poindexter
or anyone like him anywhere.

Oh, Max rang. lt was suicide all right.

lf only we could get the connection.

Maybe there isn't one. Cup of tea?

There's something nagging me.

Something today

wasn't...wasn't right.

l don't know, Lewis.

Maybe we'd better go home.

I'm too tired to think.

l don't want to go home.
l'll just get nagged about the decorating.

That's it, Lewis. You've done it.

Done what?

MORSE: All the windows were curtained.

There were curtains everywhere.
And newish ones, too.

That wouldn't make any difference,
not to my wife.

Anyway, we never looked round the back.

- Operator?
- Can I heIp you?

l'd like to reverse the charge on a call to Oxford.
Mr Cedric Downes.

- What's your name, pIease?
- What? No, l'm sorry. l'm his wife - Mrs Downes.

The number is Oxford 21 298.

Thank you.

(Ringing tone)

(Phone ringing)

Well, that's all curtained.

And that's all curtained.

- What was in the case?
- Dr Kemp's clothes.

And his car's gone.

Good afternoon, sir.
Chief Inspector Morse.

Oxford ClD. You met my sergeant last evening.

Yes, of course.

ls it about Theo Kemp? Sheila Williams told me.

- AwfuI business. AwfuI.
- When was this? l told her not to tell anyone.

Lunch time. Why weren't we supposed to
know?l'm... l was a colleague.

Meeting your wife, are you?

Yes, l was. She doesn't seem to be on the train.
How on earth did you know?

We saw your wife this morning.
She said you'd be here.

Here l am. How can l help you?

Did Dr Kemp say anything to you last night
when he rang you at the dinner?

- Any hint he might be upset about anything?
- He was upset about the stoIenjeweI.

No, all he said to me was his wife wasn't well.
Would l fill in for him?

There was no hint of suicide, then?

Not the slightest. lt...it was suicide, then?

You think someone
might have wished to murder him?

- No, good heavens.
- Excuse me, sir.

What time did you say
Mrs Williams told you about Dr Kemp's death?

- When l got back to the hotel after the tour.
- What time was that?

Oh, twenty to one. Why?

Yes, thank you, Lewis. l was just coming to that.

We saw your wife at noon, sir.

She said you'd already told her
that Kemp was dead.

- lf you didn't know till twenty to one...
- There must be some mistake.

l got the time wrong.
Perhaps we got there earlier.

Well, we can soon find that out, can't we, Lewis?

- Good God!
- Wait!

LEWlS: Stop him! Stop him!

Oh, father. Be careful.

What?

Which one are you going to arrest, sir?

FlONA: l told him it was wrong.

Honestly, we were coming straight to see you
the moment we got back.

POlNDEXTER: She's telling the truth.

She has a real English conscience,
like her mother.

We were coming right back to see you.

MORSE: You mean to tell me you took
the Wolvercote Tongue to give to your daughter?

POlNDEXTER: No, threw it back into the river.

- What?!
- Right into the Thames where it belonged.

POlNDEXTER: I know I'm not going
to come out of this very weII, but...

What the heII! I didn't Iove Laura.
And she wouIdn't even pretend she Ioved me.

l was just another one of her possessions.

- The only person l loved was Fiona's mother.
- Yes, all right. We'll get to that later.

Why did you take the Tongue?

Laura had a heart condition. We both knew
that what did happen could happen at any time.

This was going to be our last big trip
to rejoin the tongue to the buckle.

We got to the hotel, we went up to the room.

l was shutting the door
and then when l turned around,

l knew there was no point
in calling an ambulance.

And there l was
with the jewel case right in my hand.

Well, l knew it didn't make
a dime's worth of difference to Laura, so...

Look, l'd better tell you
right from the beginning, OK?

The reason why...There were two reasons
why we came on this trip.

First of all, Laura told me l had to,
and the second reason was because l wanted to.

l wanted to see my only child
for the first time in my life.

This really is true?

Oh, yes. l didn't know anything about it myself
until six months ago.

And then he wrote to me out of the blue.

l could never do anything for her.
First of all, Heather wouldn't let me.

And twenty years ago, l...

Yes, yes, Mr Brown told me. You went bust.

And suddenly there l was
with half a million dollars' worth of insurance.

Well, what would you have done?

- l think l'd have sent for an ambulance.
- Oh, goddamn it, lnspector!

lf you don't understand temptation,
what kind of a policeman are you?

- All right to touch?
- Yes, OK.

- What does he say?
- Accident.

Where have you got him?

CEDRIC: It was an accident.

Ask my wife. She'II teII you.

It was aII her fauIt, anyway.

Are you telling me...

Theodore Kemp
was the worst philanderer in Oxford.

He was tired of Sheila Williams.

Well, one would tire of her, wouldn't one?

I'm sure he thought
it was terribIy cIever to ring me up

and make sure I'd be out of the house
for a coupIe of hours at Ieast.

Only he did himself in, didn't he?

l needed my notes.

So l caught them red-handed.

Hit him with a coat hanger.

It was the first thing to hand.

Then he tried to stand up, defend himseIf,
stumbIed on the sheets, feII.

There was the most frightfuI sound
as his head hit the corner of the chimney.

Actually, it was most...

lt was very unpleasant.

(Knock at door)

Would you excuse me for a moment?

Does one have a choice in my position?

Shut the door.

- Bloody hell.
- She wouIdn't have kiIIed herseIf,

would she?

She was all full of life this morning.

Timetable, Lewis.

- What?
- Trains to and from London.

He did it. He killed her.

No, he can't have done. He was here in Oxford.

Oh, no, he wasn't. Look at this.

Mr Poindexter

and his daughter arrived in Oxford
ten minutes after Mrs Downes was due, right?

- Uh-huh.
- They caught the train at Reading.

lf Mrs Downes had missed her train,

she could have caught this one here,
connected with theirs,

got into Oxford bareIy ten minutes
after she was due.

So what?

Lewis...Lewis, if you were meeting your wife,

and she wasn't on the train,
what's the first thing you'd do?

- Look at a timetable.
- No, you wouIdn't.

Because you'd know she wasn't coming
on that or any other train.

In fact, the onIy way she'd go on a train again
is in a coffin.

So you'd turn away, just like Mr Cedric
bloody Downes did into our waiting arms.

lf he knew she was dead,
why would he be waiting for her at all?

Because he was on the first train himself,

you fooI.

He turned away when he saw us
to make it look as if he were waiting for her.

The bastard!

- Did you search him?
- Yeah.

Did you happen to find a left-luggage disc

- in his possession?
- Yes. Yeah, he did.

Bring it to me in the interview room.

Why didn't you send for an ambulance
when Kemp had his accident?

l didn't want the whole world
to know l was a cuckold, lnspector.

Of course, l'd suspected for some time
that my wife...

She's a lot...a lot younger than me.
She was my pupil, actually.

She's a very bright girl.

How anyone as bright as that
could fall for a bastard like Kemp...

Of course, l had to rush back to the restaurant

and deliver Kemp's lecture.

l took the car so as not to be late.

l drove home and we put the body
of that odious...

We put Kemp's body

in the back of the car.

And dumped it in the river.

- Yes.
- And your wife?

- She helped me, of course.
- No, I mean, what did you do with her?

Did you forgive her?

These things are very difficult, lnspector.

l don't...l don't have any experience.

She's a very beautiful woman

- to me.
- And so you killed her?

What? What do you mean?

Come on! Did you think we'd fall for that?

l don't know what...

Has something happened to her?
l don't understand.

- ls Lucy dead?
- Oh, yes, Mr Downes.

Dead as can be.

(Door opens)

- ls this what you wanted, sir?
- Thank you, Lewis.

Now, are you going to save us a lot of time
and trouble, Mr Downes, and confess,

or are you going to be a burden
on the taxpayer?

This, as you know,
is a disc for a Ieft-Iuggage Iocker.

Your wife gave it to you after she deposited
a suitcase containing Kemp's things in London,

- didn't she?
- l was in Oxford all afternoon.

I've had the Iocker opened, Mr Downes.

lt contained the suitcase my colleague and l
saw your wife take away this morning.

Now, if you can expIain how you've come by
this disc without going to London,

then we'd both be very interested to hear.

(Voice cracking) l loved her.

l've never loved anyone in the world
except Lucy.

When l saw her with Kemp,

l knew l had to kill her.

l couldn't go on loving her.

Now l can love her for ever.

You do understand,

don't you?

Love's Old Sweet Song

SHElLA: Where did you meet her, Eddie?

Brize Norton, JuIy 4th 1949.
I was in the air force.

We had a party at the base
and Heather came aIong.

I just had to take one Iook.

She Iooked a Iot Iike Fiona does here.

FlONA: I hope not. I'm nearIy 40!

And I keep thinking of you as four or five.

At first, Heather wrote me letters
and sent me photographs.

She kept in touch.
And then one day l got a letter

which said that she thought
we ought to forget about each other,

that l ought to forget about both of them.

She was married, had a couple of other kids,

and Fiona here thought of Bert Nicholson
as being her real father.

Well, it was easier to say than to do.

l didn't have any other children.

So l just hung in there.
And now l can die happy.

What a pity Laura couldn't.

Oh, Sheila, l've been onto the tour company,

and they've arranged to transfer Phil and me
tomorrow morning to another group.

l thought you'd be pleased.

l am. My God, l am. Cheers!

Now just a darn minute, Janet.

l didn't say anything about changing tours.

But we agreed to holiday together, Phil,
and l'm changing.

Well, l'm not. l like this tour.

Can l buy you folks a drink?

- Phil!
- So long, Janet. l'll see you in Cleveland.

MORSE: God. PeopIe's Iives, Lewis!

People's lives.

And loves.

Yes, it was love's old sweet song all the time.

LEWlS: What a case!

That wasn't a case, Lewis. lt was two.

And you were right. There was no connection.

Yeah, there was. Cedric Downes.
He's connected with everything.

Not with the death of Mrs Poindexter.
Not with the theft of the jewel.

I was sure there was a connection
between them

and Dr Kemp's death.

There had to be.

And then there bloody wasn't.

LEWlS: They've got it.

l think l'll just pop down and see Aunt Cissy.

Well, you don't want us
to do my back in again, do you?

You do what you like, Lewis.

l'm going to stay
and look at the water for a while.

You? Water?

lf anyone wants me, they'll find me looking at fish
through the bottom of a beer glass.

- l'll see you, then.
- See you.

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