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[TELEPHONE RINGS]
4
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,767
[ON ANSWERING MACHINE]
Uh, hello.
5
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:32,467
Uh, this is Cheech.
Uh, I'm not here right now.
6
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,208
Well, I'm here,
but I'm not here.
7
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,645
See, I'm on my way
to Amsterdam, man.
8
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:40,214
We got invited
to a Burt Reynolds and
Dolly Parton film festival.
9
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,216
So, I'm gonna be
over in Amsterdam
for a little while.
10
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,956
So, like, if you need me
or anything,
11
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,046
you know, like,
when you hear the beep,
12
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,439
well, you know, just,
like, leave a message, okay?
13
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:51,486
Oh, P.S., if this is Donna...
14
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,314
[KISSING]
15
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,316
You can put that
wherever you need it, baby.
16
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,795
Check you later.
Oh, and like that.
17
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,233
[BEEPS]
18
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:00,538
CHONG: Hey, man,
where are you?
19
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,410
I'm at the airport.
20
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,194
Hey, the plane's
getting ready to leave
without us!
21
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,587
Come on!
22
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:06,805
[DIAL TONE]
23
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:34,094
Man, this is the first airport
I haven't been searched in.
24
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,661
Who's gonna
smuggle something
into Amsterdam, man?
25
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,795
WOMAN: Hello.
26
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,493
Hello. Oh, hi.
Thank you very...
27
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:43,886
Oh! Thank you.
28
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,235
[CROWD CHEERING]
29
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,850
[IN DUTCH ACCENT]
Hello, Mr. Burt Reynolds. Hi. How are you?
30
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:55,680
On behalf of the Amsterdam
International Film Festival,
31
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:58,118
a hearty welcome
to Amsterdam,
Mr. Burt Reynolds.
32
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:01,947
And I hope you will have
a very happy and lucky time.
33
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,819
Do you know
if Miss Dolly Parton
was on the plane?
34
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,212
What?
35
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,605
If Dolly Parton
was in the plane?
36
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,912
No, I didn't see Dolly Parton.
Was she on the plane?
37
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,044
Oh, you...
I have seen movies of you.
38
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,177
In the movies
you are much taller than
you are in real life.
39
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,048
May I say...
40
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,833
May I say "Burt" to you,
Mr. Reynolds?
41
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,965
Thank you very much.
What?
42
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:23,621
May... Maybe I say "Mr. Burt"
or "Mr. Reynolds,"
43
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:26,407
or maybe I say "Burt"
or something like that.
44
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:29,410
May I say "Burt" to you,
Mr. Reynolds?
45
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,673
Hey, man,
I'm not Burt Reynolds, man.
46
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,849
You are not Burt...
You are not Burt Reynolds?
47
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,156
No. I'm Cheech, man.
This is Chong.
48
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,810
We're Cheech and Chong, man.
Hey, turn around. Show him.
49
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,161
Yeah, Cheech and Chong.
See, right there, man.
Cheech and Chong.
50
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,205
We came for
the movie festival.
51
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,424
You are...
52
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,777
You are here on
the end of the list.
You see.
53
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,648
Mr. Cheech and Chong.
54
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,824
Listen, man,
we gotta get out of here.
Where's the car?
55
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,826
There is a car
waiting outside
56
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,438
for Mrs. Dolly Parton
and for Mr. Burt Reynolds,
57
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,266
but you can have the van,
if you want.
58
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,572
Okay. Great.
Thanks a lot, man. Bye.
59
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:02,747
Thank you.
Bye-bye, everybody.
60
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,922
[ALL CHEERING]
61
00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:12,322
Oh, please,
no more autographs.
No more pictures.
62
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,106
Thank you! Thank you!
It's lovely to be here.
63
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,369
Take me to a dike.
64
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:16,457
Thank you. Thank you.
65
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,849
There you go.
66
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,157
I got a writer's
cramp, man.
67
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,986
Thanks anyway.
68
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,162
Hey, man, I think I'm gonna
have to finally do it.
69
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,729
Do what, man?
70
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,948
Put scars
all over my face, man.
71
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,385
I'm getting
too handsome, man.
72
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,865
This guy thinks
I'm Burt Reynolds.
73
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,825
I gotta give
the other actors a chance.
74
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,740
Well, I don't think
you have to go to
all that trouble, man.
75
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,133
No? No.
76
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,005
I think all you
have to do is grow
another big zit
77
00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,920
like the one
you got right there.
78
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,530
Where? Yeah.
79
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:47,792
I got one on my nose?
80
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,446
Yeah. A big yellow one.
81
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,969
Shit. Is it big?
82
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,494
Yeah. Looks like
another nose, man.
83
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,799
Oh, man.
84
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,627
And if you really
want to look ugly,
85
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:59,282
just leave
the booger hanging off
your mustache there.
86
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,979
There? Is it off?
87
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:02,633
Yeah,
and if you really want... Oh, man, shut up!
88
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:10,293
Oh, you are sitting here.
89
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:12,904
Because...
90
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,256
These were the places
supposed to be
91
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,780
for Dolly Parton
and Burt Reynolds,
you know.
92
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,129
Dolly Parton's
supposed to be
sitting here?
93
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,870
Yeah.
94
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:24,786
Let me clear off a place
for her to sit down.
95
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:27,571
I asked people to put you
in the van, you know.
96
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,226
Yeah.
97
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,881
They just told us
to sit here, man.
98
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,623
Oh, they didn't understand.
99
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:40,454
Well, you're sure
that Burt Reynolds
was not in the plane?
100
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:43,370
He wasn't with us, man.
We flew first-class.
101
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,024
Maybe he was sitting back
with the peasants, you know.
102
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,549
You flew first-class?
103
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,464
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for
the tickets, man.
104
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,988
Now, there's
a little bit
of problem.
105
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:55,512
You didn't get
the telegram?
106
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:58,733
What telegram? He said,
"Come over here and party."
107
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,474
Yeah. You was on the list,
108
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,258
but there are a little bit
financial problems.
109
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,956
You know Mr. Patrick?
110
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,612
Yeah. He's the dude that
phoned us up and sent us
the tickets, man.
111
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,701
Oh, yeah.
He's a good dude.
Met him at a party.
112
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,312
Yeah.
113
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,052
He's all right.
He's a heavy fan of ours.
114
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,881
Yeah.
115
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:20,407
He told us, man, he says,
"Come on to Amsterdam
and let's party."
116
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:23,018
So we've been
studying up on
partying, man.
117
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:24,498
We got it down
pretty good.
118
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:25,847
Yeah. We're ready.
We're ready, man.
119
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,979
To be quite honest,
120
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:31,853
I asked him to
send you a telegram
to cancel this trip
121
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,551
because we have a little bit
of financial problems, too.
122
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,423
Oh, yeah?
123
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,470
The Mr. Patrick,
he left with all my money,
124
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,603
and also my car,
125
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:45,954
so certainly he
will be come back
one of these days.
126
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,261
Yeah, he'll come back.
127
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,873
Hey, we'll help you out.
We'll do a show for you, man.
128
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,832
Hey, man,
we haven't worked
in four years, come on.
129
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,226
That's okay, man.
I remember all
the bits, man.
130
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,793
Hey, where's
the windmills, man?
131
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,969
Windmills.
Maybe you can see
one on your left.
132
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,363
Where's the chocolate?
133
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,539
You haven't been
before in Holland?
134
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,018
No, man.
135
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,716
What are you
doing in America?
136
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,501
Are you in radio shows
or something like that?
137
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,850
You haven't heard
of Cheech & Chong?
138
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,330
No.
139
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,463
Where you been,
under a rock?
140
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,639
We make movies, man.
141
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,815
I have a wonderful
movie theater.
142
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,425
Oh, yeah?
143
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,732
And we're having
a press conference,
144
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,212
and I want to introduce
Dolly Parton
and Burt Reynolds
145
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:30,781
and that people from Holland,
the newsenkrumpten.
146
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,653
The newspapers, you know.
147
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,655
Where's the parties
going to be, man?
148
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,570
Is that one
of the parties?
149
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:39,224
Because Patrick said
that Sylvia Kristel's
going to be at the party.
150
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,052
Maybe. Maybe...
151
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,532
So you're
a Hollander.
152
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:45,230
Yeah. I'm a Hollander, yeah.
153
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,668
But there are
a few parties,
154
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,713
but I have to cancel
a little bit of the parties
155
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,106
because
the financial problems.
156
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,803
Maybe we can
have one party.
157
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,675
Do you know
where we can score
some hash, man?
158
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:56,372
What do you mean? Hash.
159
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,679
I've got that address
of that doper cafe, man.
160
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,507
Oh, okay. Great.
161
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:03,205
We have a lot of
cafes in Amsterdam.
162
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:04,685
The only thing
about jet lag, man,
163
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,164
is you got to smoke
a lot of dope,
164
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,601
and it comes out even.
165
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,863
[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]
166
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,095
Get ready for them.
Burt Reynolds
167
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,925
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
168
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,366
MAN: Mr. Burt,
welcome in Holland!
169
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,456
Mr. Burt!
170
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,109
[CROWD CLAMORING]
171
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:49,512
CHEECH: Thank you very much.
172
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,392
Mr. Dolly, Mr. Burt.
173
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,438
Please, follow me.
174
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,268
This is our very,
very best,
175
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:09,489
the Saskia van
Uylenburgh suite,
Rembrandt's former wife.
176
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:10,620
The best we have.
177
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:16,191
And here we are in
our very, very best.
178
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,236
Amsterdam at your feet.
179
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,411
[CRASHING] And the Venice
of the north...
180
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,762
Sorry.
181
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,285
The RAI building
for the big fairs,
182
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,287
Rijksmuseum,
183
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:29,813
Vincent Van Gogh Museum,
184
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,381
and the museum
of the history
of Amsterdam.
185
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,950
You got a lot of nice
sights around here, man.
186
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,734
Oh, many, Mr. Burt. Many.
187
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:38,692
CHEECH: Hey, I'm hip.
188
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,650
The Royal Palace.
189
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:41,738
Oh, yeah.
190
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,698
The Stedelijk museum.
191
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,178
Xaviera Hollander's house
at the other side.
192
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:48,963
Mr. Burt,
193
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,402
I'm so fond of
having you here.
194
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:54,838
Oh.
195
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,492
I'm your biggest fan,
Mr. Burt.
196
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,667
Oh, thanks.
197
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,364
You can believe it.
198
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,541
Mr. Burt,
I am your biggest fan.
199
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,631
I've seen all your pictures.
All your pictures.
200
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,807
Except one, the last one.
I haven't seen the last one.
201
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,199
Neither have I.
202
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,637
Excuse me, Mr. Burt,
you got any Dutch money?
203
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,726
Oh, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
204
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,467
No, Mr. Dolly.
You don't have to pay.
205
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,775
Oh, yeah.
It's free, man. Yes!
206
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:20,603
No, no!
207
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,521
I'm sorry, no.
It's not free.
208
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,957
You have to sign for it.
209
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:28,655
Oh.
210
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,395
Mr. Jan...
211
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,832
Hoderfree.
212
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,312
Mr. Jan Hoderfree.
213
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:37,577
Mr. Jan Hoderfree,
he arranged
everything for you.
214
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,143
You just order and sign.
215
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:41,537
Oh, okay.
I can get that.
216
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,669
Just sign. Oh, great.
217
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,453
Oh, Mr. Burt,
218
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:47,717
how is Raquel Welch
in reality, flesh to flesh?
219
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,892
She's gonna
last forever, man.
220
00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,067
Oh, really?
221
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,722
Yeah. She's heavy.
222
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:55,986
Mr. Burt, when there's
anything you need...
223
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,205
Oh, yeah?
224
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,860
I mean anything.
225
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,078
Anything?
226
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,514
Anything!
227
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,212
Oh, yeah?
228
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,737
Mr. Burt,
we have some ivory statues,
oriental statues...
229
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,826
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
230
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,438
From gorgeous delight
in the basement...
231
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,136
Oh, yeah?
232
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:18,705
With tiny fingers
who work you up
slowly, slowly,
233
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,750
to a level,
to an excitement
you've never had before...
234
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,273
[WOMAN SPEAKING DUTCH]
235
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,884
You just sign, huh?
236
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,015
I'm so sorry.
I have to take him.
237
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,845
1,001 delights,
Mr. Burt.
238
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,326
Anything you wish.
239
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,199
Mr. Burt. Mr. Dolly.
240
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:40,030
Enjoy your stayment
in Amsterdam, in Holland.
241
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,036
And you just sign.
Anything.
242
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,516
Amsterdamski, man.
243
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:48,343
[LAUGHS]
244
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,432
All right.
245
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,476
Your luggage.
246
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,000
Thank you.
247
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,394
Hey, man, just sign for it.
248
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:57,874
Sign? Sign for it.
249
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:05,882
And for you.
250
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,278
Could you give me
one for the doorman?
251
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,583
Oh, of course.
252
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,631
Thank you.
253
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,242
Good-byen.
254
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:20,941
[SIGHS]
255
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,030
We made it, man.
256
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,814
I wonder where
the toiletski is.
257
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,387
[HUMMING]
258
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,220
Wow!
259
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,483
Hey, man, you ought to see
the size of this bathtub.
260
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:44,094
We could have
a couple friends in, man.
261
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,835
Still got that
little outboard motor?
262
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,838
Wow, look at this!
263
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:49,970
Hey, man, what is this?
264
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,754
Hey!
265
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:54,017
Hey, man! Help!
266
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:57,325
What are you doing, man?
267
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,282
Hey, man...
268
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:00,676
Help! Hey!
269
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,817
CHEECH: Hello, room service?
270
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,645
Hi. This is Mr. Burt
up in the Suzie Q suite, man.
271
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,823
Mr. Burt.
272
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:20,304
You know,
Burt and Dolly.
273
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,742
Yeah, that Raquel Welch.
Yeah. She's something.
274
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,352
No, they're real.
They're real, man.
275
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,528
Hey, listen, man,
you know that caviar
you sent up today?
276
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,097
Hey, man,
it smells fishy.
277
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,403
Yeah, and it all
turned black.
278
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:35,189
Somebody must've
left it out all night
or something, man.
279
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:38,018
So can you send up
some of that other caviar?
280
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:41,021
Yeah, send up
some of that Belgian.
281
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:45,025
Yeah. I don't know.
A pound.
282
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,417
No, no.
Make it five pounds.
283
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,594
Whatever you got, man.
284
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,814
Yeah. Send it right up, man.
We're really hungry.
285
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,033
Okay, donkey smell.
286
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,340
Oh, all right.
They came.
287
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,951
Hey, that's
the new series, man.
288
00:12:58,647 --> 00:12:59,822
All right.
289
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,045
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADSET]
290
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,662
You know, I'm beginning
to feel sort of bored.
291
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,969
Let's go see the town.
Come on.
292
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,013
What?
293
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,875
Amsterdam.
294
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,878
Look at these buds, man.
295
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,054
Look at this.
296
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,449
They're real.
297
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,103
WOMAN: Hello.
298
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,582
Hi. Hi. How are you?
299
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,846
Would you like
to eat something? Oh, yeah, please.
300
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,804
Special today
is Indica.
301
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,284
Oh, great.
302
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:11,372
Would you like
some weed tea?
303
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,852
Some tea?
304
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,114
Yeah, herb tea. I'd love some tea.
305
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,595
Oh, wow.
Look what they got, man.
306
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:22,644
Wow! "Fresh buds in
season with melon."
307
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:23,993
Lookie here,
filet-o-cola.
308
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,868
Here's my favorite,
seed soup.
309
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,131
I think I'll have some.
I wonder if they got
pepper with that.
310
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,524
Uh...
311
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,353
I want to start
with a tossed
California bud salad
312
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:37,615
and then a Shake shake.
313
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,706
And what's
Fungus Mungus?
314
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:44,057
Well, never mind.
Bring it to me anyway.
315
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:47,408
For my main course,
I want a Bogart Special
316
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:50,585
with everything,
including the mold.
317
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,717
Then I'll try
the Temple Ball Surprise,
too, okay?
318
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,591
Pig out, man.
319
00:14:56,634 --> 00:15:01,030
I'll have the cream of
hash and barley soup
320
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,641
and the fresh buds. What...
Are they in season?
321
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,295
Yeah, okay.
322
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:08,559
And, oh, for dessert,
I'll have the space yogurt
323
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,387
with chopped cola nuts.
324
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,215
Thank you very much.
325
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:13,434
Put the rush on it.
326
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,132
Ah, yes!
327
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,918
♪I get delirious
328
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,180
♪Whenever you're near
329
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,531
♪Lose all self-control
330
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:24,924
♪Baby, just can't steer
331
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,363
♪My wheels get
locked in place
332
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,974
♪Get a stupid look on my face
333
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,194
♪When it comes to makin'
a pass, pretty mamma
334
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,717
♪I just can't win a race
335
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,459
♪'Cause I get delirious
336
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,463
♪Delirious
337
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,598
♪Delirious
338
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:52,952
♪I get delirious
339
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:56,433
♪When you hold my hand
340
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:59,306
♪Body gets so weak
I can hardly stand
341
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,527
♪My temperature's runnin' hot
342
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,182
♪Baby, you got to stop
343
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,489
♪'Cause if you don't,
I'm gonna explode
344
00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:10,230
♪And, girl, I got a lot
345
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,493
♪I get delirious
346
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:17,672
♪I'm delirious, yeah
347
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:18,890
♪All right
348
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:21,806
♪I'm delirious
349
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,330
♪Yeah, yeah
350
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,723
♪Yeah, yeah, yeah
351
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:26,637
♪Delirious
352
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,205
♪Yeah
353
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,512
♪Delirious
354
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:35,907
You feel anything?
355
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,039
♪Delirious
356
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:41,130
Hey, I'm still hungry, man.
357
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:42,784
Want to order another one?
358
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,744
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
359
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,746
HOST: Try to explain
why people are not...
360
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,314
People are not...
361
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:52,750
Come on,
and you sit there.
362
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:56,232
Yeah, okay.
Sit down. Sit down.
363
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,415
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
364
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,082
You have any aspirin, man?
365
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,823
I've got a half a lude.
366
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,564
Just slip it to me, man.
367
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,131
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
368
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,493
Try to be as
nice as possible.
369
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,278
I have to leave now
because I have to
make phone calls
370
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:45,238
for the airplane
of Miss Parton and Mr. Burt.
371
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,500
But I'll be right back.
372
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,851
MAN: Mr. Cheek and Mr. Wrong.
373
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,461
Mr. Cheek and Mr. Joke.
374
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,028
I don't understand something.
375
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,464
I'm waiting here
half an hour...
376
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:56,510
We overslept.
377
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,600
We underslept.
378
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,210
Who the hell are you?
379
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,256
Cheech & Chong.
380
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:06,607
Uh, Cheech like "peach,"
and Chong like "dong."
381
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,348
MAN: Which kind of
films are we gonna get
382
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:09,610
in the festival?
Can you explain me?
383
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:12,352
Why don't you take this
for a while, okay?
384
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,570
I'm going to take
a little nap.
385
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,268
CHEECH: Yeah, okay.
386
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:18,009
Do you know when
Reynolds and Parton
are coming here?
387
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,316
Uh, yeah.
388
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,884
Dolly Parton's coming
and Burt Reynolds
389
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:27,367
and Paul Newman,
and Jimi Hendrix is coming.
390
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:30,370
Uh, E.T.,
E.T.'s coming.
391
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,023
He's a personal
friend of mine.
392
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,764
Who are you?
393
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,636
CHEECH: Cheech & Chong!
394
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,246
We're really big
in the States, man.
395
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,508
We're really big
in the States, man.
396
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,336
[TRUMPET FANFARE PLAYING]
397
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:42,643
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
398
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,003
MAN: Bravo!
399
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,795
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
400
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,932
I'm really proud to...
401
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:14,240
May I introduce
the most famous
world actors,
402
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,938
Mr. Cheech and Mr. Chong.
403
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,331
[ALL CHEERING]
404
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,171
Yes, you may begin
your questions now.
405
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:35,435
Yes. Thank you very much,
Mr. Cheech, Mr. Chong,
406
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,088
for coming to
the Netherlands.
407
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,352
We are awfully thrilled
that we can see you now
in the flesh,
408
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,441
that we can say hello
to you in person.
409
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:44,400
But nevertheless,
our first question,
that's to say my question is,
410
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:47,708
why did you organize
your first film festival
in Amsterdam?
411
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:48,578
Um...
412
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,015
Because.
413
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,289
Mr. Cheech and Mr. Chong,
414
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,509
uh, we are very pleased to
have you here, and I love you.
415
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:11,862
I mean,
I love all your films.
416
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,822
I have seen them all,
except the latest one,
417
00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:17,390
because there was
a line outside
about three miles,
418
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,827
so I couldn't get tickets.
419
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:22,482
The Cheech shall
arrange tickets for you.
420
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:23,831
Oh, thank you,
thank you!
421
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,136
[ALL CLAMORING]
422
00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:30,359
MAN: Mr. Cheech. Yes.
423
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:35,495
We all know you made
that scar to give
all the actors a chance,
424
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:39,325
but you are even more
handsome with the scar
on your face!
425
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,152
It's great.
426
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:42,502
What can I do?
What can I do?
427
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:45,461
I try.
428
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:46,810
MAN: We love you!
You're great.
429
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,294
I owe it all
to my director.
430
00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,297
I owe it all
to my director.
431
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,523
CHEECH: Hey! Hey, come on,
wake up, man. It's over.
432
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:06,221
Let's go. Let's go get
some breakfast, man.
I'm hungry.
433
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,918
Why are you telling
all those things? What?
434
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:10,443
You know,
I asked you to be nice.
435
00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:13,576
There were a lot
of important newspapermen
from Holland here all over.
436
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:16,536
And did you tell
about Paul Newman?
437
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:20,104
Who invited E.T.?
Who invited E.T.?
438
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:21,715
CHEECH: You think
they still have caviar?
439
00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:27,503
[CHONG SIGHS]
440
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,900
Here you are. Thank you.
441
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:34,554
Hey, wait,
I know exactly
what I want.
442
00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:36,164
You want to order now?
443
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:38,340
Yeah. I want a big plate
of huevos rancheros
444
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,516
with rice and beans
and hot tortillas,
445
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,171
and a little shot of tequila,
and a Dos Equis.
446
00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:45,129
I don't understand.
447
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:46,348
Well, what have you got?
448
00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:49,133
I'll have coffee
and toast.
449
00:21:49,177 --> 00:21:51,222
Yes. Make that two coffee
and toast.
450
00:21:52,223 --> 00:21:54,791
Coffee and toast.
451
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:56,837
I'd like
a machaca burrito, man.
452
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,839
You want some mussels?
453
00:21:58,882 --> 00:22:00,362
No. Just coffee and toast
will be all right.
454
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:02,364
You sure? Yeah.
455
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:04,845
That's all? Okay. Thanks a lot.
456
00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:06,977
So, let's get thinking
about a show, man.
457
00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:09,458
Yeah. We should seriously
start thinking about it.
458
00:22:11,199 --> 00:22:12,331
Let's do a bit
about parties.
459
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,334
Something we know, man.
460
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,640
No, hey, man,
we promised
that dude a show.
461
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:19,120
We should start thinking
about something.
462
00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:21,296
Yeah.
463
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,603
Well, what do
you want to do?
464
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,909
Well, you know, like,
something about movies,
television.
465
00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:28,912
Oh! Duh!
466
00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,740
I was working on a bit.
I forgot to tell you.
467
00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:33,003
We do a takeoff
on E.T.,okay?
468
00:22:33,047 --> 00:22:35,571
Except it's like
a Chicano version, right?
469
00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:38,226
It's called
E.T.: Eddie Torres,
The Extra Testicle.
470
00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:41,838
Do you like it?
It's about this horny guy
471
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:43,971
from East Outer Space,
you know,
472
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:46,626
and he lands on Earth
in a low-rider
flying saucer, man,
473
00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:49,106
and he pulls up on
this chick's lawn,
and she hides in the closet,
474
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:50,891
because her parents are out
for the weekend, yeah?
475
00:22:50,934 --> 00:22:52,588
And he chases her
all around the house
476
00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,285
going,
"Beep beep beep beep beep."
477
00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:56,592
Yeah. How are we going to
do that on stage, though?
478
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:59,378
It's good.
I got a costume, man.
Here, check it out, man.
479
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:02,337
Watch this.
I had a guy make it up
down the street.
480
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:05,775
E.T.: Eddie Torres,
The Extra Testicle!
481
00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:09,257
Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, it's great.
482
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,433
Check this out for
special effects, man.
483
00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,000
Let's go all the way.
Big-budget, huh?
484
00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:16,395
You like this?
485
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,266
When the chick comes around,
he chases her
all around the house.
486
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:19,180
[MAKES BEEPING NOISE]
487
00:23:20,790 --> 00:23:23,619
[MAKING BEEPING NOISE]
488
00:23:32,193 --> 00:23:33,499
Guess she doesn't
speak Spanish, huh?
489
00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:36,980
[CAMERA WHIRRING]
490
00:23:48,688 --> 00:23:50,254
[MAKING BEEPING NOISE]
491
00:23:54,171 --> 00:23:55,085
Oh!
492
00:24:04,965 --> 00:24:06,096
WOMAN: Don't touch me!
493
00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:15,541
Hey, man, get out of here.
Come on, man.
494
00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:16,890
I got something going on.
495
00:24:16,933 --> 00:24:18,195
Just be cool,
and leave me alone, man.
496
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:22,635
Get out of here, man.
I ain't bullshitting with you.
497
00:24:22,678 --> 00:24:24,680
Now, get out.
Leave me alone.
498
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,557
[CHEECH MAKING BEEPING NOISE]
499
00:24:37,214 --> 00:24:38,215
Something wrong?
500
00:24:40,609 --> 00:24:41,958
The door's locked.
501
00:24:42,002 --> 00:24:42,872
Oh.
502
00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:44,874
I'll help you.
503
00:24:49,662 --> 00:24:50,750
[CAMERA WHIRRING]
504
00:24:55,232 --> 00:24:56,538
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
505
00:25:20,344 --> 00:25:21,824
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
506
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:25,698
Hey, man,
I ain't bullshitting.
507
00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:27,134
Get the fuck
out of here, man.
508
00:25:27,177 --> 00:25:28,222
You're gonna
blow the whole...
Shit!
509
00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:29,745
We're going to
get in trouble.
510
00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:34,271
Come on, man. Get...
511
00:25:45,413 --> 00:25:46,240
[BANGING]
512
00:25:47,937 --> 00:25:49,460
Hey.
513
00:25:49,504 --> 00:25:51,767
[BANGING ON DOOR] Hey, man.
Open the door.
514
00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:53,552
Hey, man. The thing is stuck.
Open the door!
515
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:55,684
Hey, man, open the door!
516
00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:57,556
[CAMERA WHIRRING]
517
00:25:58,382 --> 00:25:59,775
Hey, man!
518
00:26:02,473 --> 00:26:04,519
Hey, man.
Get the fuck out
of here, will you?
519
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:05,825
Asshole!
520
00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:06,782
[CHUCKLES]
521
00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:09,350
[YELLING]
522
00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:12,832
[MAKING BEEPING NOISE]
523
00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:40,686
[MAKES RAPID BEEPING NOISE]
524
00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:46,517
[IMITATES TARZAN YELLING]
525
00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:03,534
[EXCLAIMS]
526
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:06,755
[GROANS]
527
00:27:08,757 --> 00:27:10,672
Hey, I'm okay.
528
00:27:10,716 --> 00:27:12,935
Don't send the ransom.
I'm all right.
529
00:27:12,979 --> 00:27:14,154
I made it.
530
00:27:36,698 --> 00:27:39,658
No more. No more.
531
00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:45,098
No! No! No!
532
00:27:45,141 --> 00:27:46,360
No! Take him!
Take him!
533
00:27:46,926 --> 00:27:48,318
No!
534
00:28:23,266 --> 00:28:24,093
[SIGHS]
535
00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:27,836
[SIZZLING]
536
00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:49,423
Wow, man.
537
00:28:49,466 --> 00:28:50,729
Hey, let's go eat.
538
00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,034
Eat? Yeah.
539
00:28:52,078 --> 00:28:53,427
Let's eat at the club.
540
00:28:53,470 --> 00:28:54,733
Okay. Well,
where's the club?
541
00:28:56,517 --> 00:28:58,171
This way. This way. Where? This way?
542
00:28:58,214 --> 00:28:59,650
This way. Follow me.
543
00:28:59,694 --> 00:29:00,913
All right.
544
00:29:05,265 --> 00:29:07,441
♪...you don't have no problem
545
00:29:07,484 --> 00:29:10,183
♪People on the river
are so eager to give
546
00:29:10,226 --> 00:29:12,533
♪Big wheels keep on turnin'
547
00:29:12,576 --> 00:29:15,579
♪Proud Mary keeps on burnin'
548
00:29:15,623 --> 00:29:17,451
♪And we're rollin', rollin'
549
00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:19,322
♪Rollin', rollin'...
550
00:29:19,366 --> 00:29:21,150
Hey, donkey smell.
551
00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:25,720
Hey, this is great
Dutch entertainment, huh?
552
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,548
Czechoslovakian band
and American singers.
553
00:29:27,591 --> 00:29:29,289
[LAUGHS]
554
00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:32,248
Yes? What would you
like to drink?
555
00:29:32,292 --> 00:29:34,120
Oh, yes. Yes, yes!
556
00:29:34,163 --> 00:29:36,775
Champagne. Champagne?
557
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:38,994
Yeah, champagnen.
And bringen it heren
and put it on the tablen.
558
00:29:40,822 --> 00:29:42,737
Hey, this is it.
559
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:45,609
Hey, this looks
just like the place
we started in, man.
560
00:29:45,653 --> 00:29:47,002
Yeah. Looks a lot
like it, huh?
561
00:29:52,094 --> 00:29:53,530
Hey, man, want a cigar? No.
562
00:29:53,574 --> 00:29:55,054
These are Cuban, man.
563
00:29:55,097 --> 00:29:57,186
You can only get them here.
They're heavy, man.
564
00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:59,188
♪Rollin',
rollin' on the river... ♪
565
00:30:03,627 --> 00:30:04,585
Garcia.
566
00:30:05,716 --> 00:30:07,893
Hey, man. Huh? What?
567
00:30:07,936 --> 00:30:11,635
I'd like to do
our act here, man.
568
00:30:11,679 --> 00:30:15,117
I'd like to do an act
with that cigar girl,
an unnatural act, man.
569
00:30:15,161 --> 00:30:16,205
[ALL APPLAUDING]
570
00:30:17,119 --> 00:30:19,469
Hey, bravo, bravo!
571
00:30:22,124 --> 00:30:23,734
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
572
00:30:23,778 --> 00:30:27,608
[THANKING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES]
573
00:30:27,651 --> 00:30:29,523
As you've heard,
we are Top Flight,
574
00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:31,612
your unique
American singing group.
575
00:30:31,655 --> 00:30:34,136
If you want to see more,
hang around until
show number two,
576
00:30:34,180 --> 00:30:37,009
when we will be coming back
with much more entertainment
your way.
577
00:30:37,052 --> 00:30:39,576
Right now
the Piccadilly Nightclub
proudly presents,
578
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:41,622
all the way from America,
another unique feature,
579
00:30:41,665 --> 00:30:43,015
Red Dick!
580
00:30:43,058 --> 00:30:44,320
[ECHOING] Red Dick!
581
00:30:44,364 --> 00:30:45,539
[ALL APPLAUDING]
582
00:30:53,068 --> 00:30:55,201
[LAUGHING]
583
00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:56,289
[IN SOUTHERN U.S. ACCENT]
Thank you very much.
584
00:30:56,332 --> 00:30:57,377
Thank you for the clap.
585
00:30:59,292 --> 00:31:01,294
Thanks for the introduction,
586
00:31:01,337 --> 00:31:03,905
except the only thing,
my name's Red Nick,
not Red Dick.
587
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:07,822
That guy must have been
peeking in the dressing room.
588
00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:11,957
Thank you very much.
589
00:31:12,566 --> 00:31:13,741
Oh, shit.
590
00:31:15,612 --> 00:31:18,398
I'm used to singing
in the streets, you know,
591
00:31:18,441 --> 00:31:21,662
and this is the first time
I've ever been up here
on stage.
592
00:31:21,705 --> 00:31:24,491
Goddamn. I'm so nervous,
593
00:31:24,534 --> 00:31:27,233
you couldn't get a pin
up my ass with a jackhammer,
man, I swear to God.
594
00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:30,279
Thank y'all.
595
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:34,718
Oh, here's a joke for you.
596
00:31:34,762 --> 00:31:37,808
You know why cowboys have,
like, shit in their mustaches?
597
00:31:39,636 --> 00:31:41,987
♪Oh, lookin' for love
in all the wrong places
598
00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:42,988
♪Lookin' for love
599
00:31:46,034 --> 00:31:48,471
Oh, thank you very much.
Thank y'all.
600
00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:51,344
All right.
601
00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:55,000
[STAMMERS] I'd like
to sing you a song now.
602
00:31:55,043 --> 00:31:58,090
It's called
First Time I Seen Her.
603
00:31:58,133 --> 00:31:59,918
It's an original song.
I wrote it myself.
604
00:32:03,878 --> 00:32:05,140
Thank you very much.
605
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:16,064
♪Well, first time I seen her
606
00:32:16,108 --> 00:32:17,544
♪Sittin' on a hill
607
00:32:17,587 --> 00:32:19,894
♪Wavin' her tits
at Buffalo Bill
608
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,983
♪Gonna tie my pecker
to a tree, to a tree
609
00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:23,419
♪Gonna tie my pecker
to a tree
610
00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:24,768
♪Oh, second time I seen her
611
00:32:24,812 --> 00:32:26,161
♪Sittin' on a log
612
00:32:26,205 --> 00:32:27,946
♪Tryin' to get it on
with an old bullfrog
613
00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,773
♪Gonna tie my pecker
to a tree, to a tree
614
00:32:29,817 --> 00:32:31,558
♪Gonna tie my pecker
to a tree ♪
615
00:32:31,601 --> 00:32:33,864
Thank you very much.
616
00:32:33,908 --> 00:32:35,475
Thank you very much
for the clap.
617
00:32:39,392 --> 00:32:41,002
Thank you.
618
00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:43,439
Oh, at this time,
it gives me great pressure
619
00:32:43,483 --> 00:32:45,267
to introduce
an old buddy of mine.
620
00:32:45,311 --> 00:32:47,269
He's an old blues singer
621
00:32:47,313 --> 00:32:49,402
that's been stringing
and singing with me
down at Dam Square,
622
00:32:49,445 --> 00:32:50,969
you know, and everything.
623
00:32:51,012 --> 00:32:53,101
We've been making
a lot of money together.
624
00:32:53,145 --> 00:32:55,321
He's the world's oldest
blues singer, man.
625
00:32:55,364 --> 00:32:58,063
This guy's so old,
he farts dust, man,
you know.
626
00:32:58,106 --> 00:33:01,240
I swear to God.
And he's really funky,
he's the father of the blues.
627
00:33:01,283 --> 00:33:03,459
So, let's have a big,
warm how-do-you-do
628
00:33:03,503 --> 00:33:06,680
for none other than
Blind Melon Chitlins!
629
00:33:06,723 --> 00:33:08,812
Come on!
Let's hear it for him!
630
00:33:08,856 --> 00:33:10,814
Blind Melon Chitlins!
Come on!
631
00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:12,207
Come on!
Blind Melon Chitlins!
632
00:33:16,429 --> 00:33:17,952
Blind Melon Chitlins!
633
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,127
Oh, this guy's hot!
634
00:33:20,781 --> 00:33:23,218
Blind Melon Chitlins.
635
00:33:23,262 --> 00:33:24,698
Blindest singer in the world.
636
00:33:25,829 --> 00:33:27,962
Here you go. Here you go.
637
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,225
Just sit right down there.
638
00:33:30,269 --> 00:33:33,663
Blind Melon Chitlins. Sit...
639
00:33:33,707 --> 00:33:36,275
No, no.
Get over here.
There you go.
640
00:33:36,318 --> 00:33:37,145
Just sit downski.
641
00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:41,541
All right.
Blind Melon Chitlins.
642
00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:45,327
Okay. There you go.
643
00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:50,680
All right.
Look, he can't see y'all
out there, you know,
644
00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:52,682
because he's blind,
but he ain't deaf,
and he can hear you.
645
00:33:52,726 --> 00:33:54,293
So let's have
another big hand for him.
646
00:33:54,336 --> 00:33:55,816
Blind Melon Chitlins.
Come on.
647
00:34:00,429 --> 00:34:01,561
Blind Melon Chitlins.
648
00:34:02,562 --> 00:34:03,780
[ALL LAUGHING]
649
00:34:06,348 --> 00:34:07,306
[TAPPING FOOT]
650
00:34:17,664 --> 00:34:19,274
[MAKES FARTING NOISE]
651
00:34:22,364 --> 00:34:23,191
[MAKES FARTING NOISE]
652
00:34:26,368 --> 00:34:27,456
[ALL LAUGHING]
653
00:34:35,377 --> 00:34:36,639
Blind Melon Chitlins.
654
00:34:43,255 --> 00:34:45,213
[MUMBLES]
655
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:56,311
[SNIFFS]
656
00:35:01,447 --> 00:35:03,449
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
657
00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:04,798
Right now, right now.
658
00:35:06,147 --> 00:35:08,236
My name is
Blind Melon Chitlins.
659
00:35:10,847 --> 00:35:13,546
I'm a legend.
660
00:35:13,589 --> 00:35:17,550
I'm 156 years old.
661
00:35:17,593 --> 00:35:21,031
That's right.
I'm 156 years old,
662
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,512
and I can still get it up.
663
00:35:24,557 --> 00:35:25,688
[LAUGHS]
664
00:35:28,430 --> 00:35:30,215
Just can't get it in.
665
00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:32,260
[ALL LAUGHING]
666
00:35:32,304 --> 00:35:34,088
That cracks me up.
That cracks me up.
667
00:35:36,438 --> 00:35:39,746
Ladies and gentlemen,
I want to get down
with y'all right now
668
00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:41,878
and sing a little tune
I wrote one day
669
00:35:41,922 --> 00:35:44,620
when I was
beating my old lady.
670
00:35:44,664 --> 00:35:48,668
A little thing called
Goin' Downtown,
Gonna See My Girl.
671
00:35:48,711 --> 00:35:51,061
Yeah.
Goes something like this here.
672
00:35:51,105 --> 00:35:52,367
One, two...
673
00:35:59,635 --> 00:36:00,593
[HARMONICA SQUEAKS]
674
00:36:19,568 --> 00:36:22,397
♪Goin' downtown,
gonna see my girl
675
00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:24,573
[PLAYS ONE NOTE]
676
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,576
Y'all can dance
if you want to.
677
00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:33,278
♪Yeah, goin' downtown,
gonna see my girl, yeah
678
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:36,150
[PLAYS NOTE]
679
00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:42,722
♪Gonna put one leg
over my shoulder
680
00:36:42,765 --> 00:36:45,768
♪Then two legs
over my shoulder
681
00:36:45,812 --> 00:36:47,161
♪Then...
682
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,294
[MUMBLES]
683
00:36:52,732 --> 00:36:54,429
Yeah, I'm gonna
dance a little bit now.
684
00:36:55,169 --> 00:36:56,170
All right.
685
00:36:58,172 --> 00:37:00,261
♪Gonna put one leg
over my shoulder ♪
686
00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:02,394
Yeah. All right.
687
00:37:02,437 --> 00:37:04,700
[CRASHING] Blind Melon Chitlins!
Let's have a big hand for him!
688
00:37:04,744 --> 00:37:05,832
[GLASS BREAKING]
689
00:37:10,793 --> 00:37:13,666
It's a good thing
these places are
open 24 hours, huh?
690
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:17,147
Man, everything in this town
is open 24 hours.
691
00:37:17,191 --> 00:37:19,367
I kept waiting for
that bar to close, man.
It never closed.
692
00:37:19,411 --> 00:37:21,891
I love Amsterdam.
693
00:37:21,935 --> 00:37:24,154
Really, man.
I can't take much more
of this partying, man.
694
00:37:24,198 --> 00:37:25,460
I'm wasted.
695
00:37:27,027 --> 00:37:28,507
Hope they got
a masseuse here, man.
696
00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:30,552
I need my back
worked on.
697
00:37:30,596 --> 00:37:31,771
I need my front
worked on, too.
698
00:37:45,567 --> 00:37:46,568
[DOOR SQUEAKS]
699
00:37:49,528 --> 00:37:50,572
Cheech? Huh?
700
00:37:52,139 --> 00:37:54,184
I can't see shit
without my glasses, man.
701
00:37:54,228 --> 00:37:55,969
Come and sit
next to me, man.
702
00:37:56,012 --> 00:37:57,710
Hey, I thought up
another bit.
703
00:37:57,753 --> 00:38:00,234
Oh, yeah? Queer Wars.
704
00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:02,236
Yeah. That would be great. Remember Queer Wars,man?
705
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,544
Yeah, yeah. Remember
Fags in Outer Space?
706
00:38:05,587 --> 00:38:06,632
What do you think? Yeah. That would be good.
707
00:38:06,675 --> 00:38:08,764
Remember how it went?
708
00:38:08,808 --> 00:38:11,419
Like, these two
faggots getting ready
to go to a party. Remember?
709
00:38:11,463 --> 00:38:13,160
Yeah. That's gonna
be a good bit.
710
00:38:13,203 --> 00:38:15,858
Queer Wars.Yeah.
711
00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:17,817
[IN EFFEMINATE VOICE]
What shall I wear
to the party tonight?
712
00:38:17,860 --> 00:38:19,645
[IN EFFEMINATE VOICE]
Oh, wear something exciting.
713
00:38:19,688 --> 00:38:22,691
Oh, I know.
I'm going to go
Peter Allen.
714
00:38:25,607 --> 00:38:27,217
I don't think so.
715
00:38:27,261 --> 00:38:28,523
Yeah.
I don't think so either.
716
00:38:28,567 --> 00:38:30,003
I'm so sick of
Carmen Miranda.
717
00:38:31,004 --> 00:38:31,831
Oh!
718
00:38:32,397 --> 00:38:33,876
Tonight...
719
00:38:36,096 --> 00:38:37,837
I go butch.
720
00:38:39,273 --> 00:38:40,056
[SIGHS]
721
00:38:40,970 --> 00:38:42,232
Too Jackson 5.
722
00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:44,539
Too Jackson 5.
723
00:38:45,801 --> 00:38:47,542
Yes, you're right. But...
724
00:38:48,761 --> 00:38:50,980
How about Liza?
725
00:38:53,026 --> 00:38:54,941
[MOTOR HUMMING]
726
00:38:54,984 --> 00:38:57,596
♪Start spreading the ludes
727
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,251
♪I'm crashin' today
728
00:39:03,123 --> 00:39:04,472
I don't think so.
729
00:39:05,473 --> 00:39:07,780
Yes, you're right.
730
00:39:07,823 --> 00:39:10,130
I'm so bored
with everything.
731
00:39:10,173 --> 00:39:11,653
We have to buy
some new clothes.
732
00:39:24,971 --> 00:39:27,190
That's my cape.
Take it off.
733
00:39:27,234 --> 00:39:28,496
I'm just trying it on.
734
00:39:28,540 --> 00:39:30,846
Take it off right now. No.
735
00:39:30,890 --> 00:39:33,196
Take it off. I'm going to wear it tonight.
736
00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:35,634
You always wear my clothes
and get stains all over them.
737
00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:36,983
I want to wear it tonight.
738
00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:38,376
I'm gonna wear it. I'm wearing it.
739
00:39:38,419 --> 00:39:39,942
That is my cape.
740
00:39:39,986 --> 00:39:41,379
I know it's your cape!
741
00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:42,902
Well, then, take it off.
742
00:39:42,945 --> 00:39:44,207
Have a shit fit,
why don't you?
743
00:39:44,251 --> 00:39:45,687
Well, take it off.
744
00:39:45,731 --> 00:39:48,255
If I don't wear the cape,
I'm not going.
745
00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:49,604
Well, then don't go.
746
00:39:50,257 --> 00:39:51,345
I won't go.
747
00:39:54,696 --> 00:39:56,611
Oh, my God,
there's plenty
of things to wear.
748
00:39:56,655 --> 00:39:57,830
You don't have to
always wear my clothes.
749
00:39:57,873 --> 00:40:00,441
I said,
I'm not going.
750
00:40:00,485 --> 00:40:02,878
Dougie, we have to go.
We're Imperial Guards.
751
00:40:02,922 --> 00:40:04,663
I don't have
to go anywhere.
752
00:40:04,706 --> 00:40:06,708
I'm not going.
753
00:40:06,752 --> 00:40:08,841
All right, then, don't go.
I'll go by myself.
754
00:40:08,884 --> 00:40:11,191
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
755
00:40:11,234 --> 00:40:12,932
Hmm. I wonder
who's going to be there.
756
00:40:14,586 --> 00:40:16,631
You know damn well
who's going to be there.
757
00:40:16,675 --> 00:40:17,980
Han Solo.
758
00:40:18,024 --> 00:40:19,460
Mmm-hmm.
759
00:40:19,504 --> 00:40:23,029
Hands so low
you can hardly see
what they're doing.
760
00:40:23,072 --> 00:40:25,510
I'm just gonna stay home
and pig out on chocolate.
761
00:40:25,553 --> 00:40:26,772
[WHIMPERING]
762
00:40:26,815 --> 00:40:27,990
Oh, Dougie.
763
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:32,952
Oh, Doug, cheer up.
764
00:40:32,995 --> 00:40:35,215
What's the matter?
Are you getting
your period again?
765
00:40:35,258 --> 00:40:37,347
That's a joke!
766
00:40:37,391 --> 00:40:39,306
I'm just getting so old!
767
00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:41,090
Oh, you are not.
768
00:40:41,134 --> 00:40:43,789
I am. You can see
all my wrinkles.
769
00:40:43,832 --> 00:40:46,531
Then let's just stay home
and watch cartoons.
770
00:40:46,574 --> 00:40:48,184
Come on,
I'll make some popcorn,
make you feel better.
771
00:40:48,924 --> 00:40:50,056
There.
772
00:40:57,672 --> 00:40:59,848
That's not cartoons.
773
00:40:59,892 --> 00:41:01,676
Let's just watch it
and see what it is.
774
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:02,851
Are we on?
775
00:41:03,417 --> 00:41:04,592
Oh.
776
00:41:04,636 --> 00:41:06,289
Orale.
777
00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:08,204
And, like,
welcome to Con Talk.
778
00:41:10,032 --> 00:41:12,992
Like, I'm your host,
Sleepy Gonzales,
779
00:41:13,035 --> 00:41:16,822
and we're going to
rap it down to you
today, man,
780
00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:18,867
to, like, all you
little vatos locos
out there, man,
781
00:41:18,911 --> 00:41:20,695
as, like, how to
stay out of the slam
782
00:41:20,739 --> 00:41:22,915
and shit like that,
you know.
783
00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:26,005
Like, I did time in,
like, Folsom
784
00:41:26,048 --> 00:41:28,964
and Soledad and Chino,
you know.
785
00:41:29,008 --> 00:41:31,880
And this is
my guest here, man.
786
00:41:31,924 --> 00:41:34,230
Hey, this dude's
famous, man,
you know.
787
00:41:34,274 --> 00:41:36,929
His name is Joe
"The Hole" Cole.
788
00:41:36,972 --> 00:41:40,062
He did 40 years in Q, man,
in Quentin, you know,
789
00:41:40,106 --> 00:41:41,803
and 20 years
in the hole.
790
00:41:43,065 --> 00:41:44,589
Hey, Joe.
791
00:41:44,632 --> 00:41:46,765
Hey, welcome
to the show, man.
Here's a cookie.
792
00:41:46,808 --> 00:41:48,070
You don't owe me
nothing, man.
793
00:41:48,114 --> 00:41:49,289
And I don't owe
you nothing.
794
00:41:49,332 --> 00:41:50,159
Thanks, Speedy.
795
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:53,772
Uh, Sleepy, man.
796
00:41:53,815 --> 00:41:59,517
Hey, so, like,
the topic for today is,
like, gun control.
797
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,996
All right? Okay.
798
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,650
All right, like,
I'm against...
799
00:42:02,694 --> 00:42:04,260
No, I'm for gun control.
800
00:42:04,304 --> 00:42:07,046
What am I for?
I'm for gun control.
801
00:42:07,089 --> 00:42:10,266
Okay. You know, like,
guns can fuck you up.
802
00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:13,182
You know, like, knives,
803
00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:14,923
well, they can
fuck you up, too,
you know?
804
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:16,621
Just like,
check it out,
you know.
805
00:42:16,664 --> 00:42:20,102
Like, I got stabbed, like,
13 times in this arm, man.
806
00:42:20,146 --> 00:42:23,018
You know, and like,
in this arm, I got...
807
00:42:23,062 --> 00:42:24,629
Oh, I can't
roll up that sleeve.
808
00:42:24,672 --> 00:42:28,023
Um, so, like... But I'm
still living, you know?
809
00:42:28,067 --> 00:42:30,286
And so...
But check this out,
you know.
810
00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:32,288
I got shot on the side
of the head there, man.
811
00:42:32,332 --> 00:42:33,942
You know,
the bullet went in there,
812
00:42:33,986 --> 00:42:35,814
and, like,
it's still in there,
you know,
813
00:42:35,857 --> 00:42:38,773
and that's
why I talk slow.
814
00:42:40,035 --> 00:42:42,255
Has nothing to do
with dope, you know.
815
00:42:42,298 --> 00:42:45,867
And so, like,
now Joe's going to
rap it down to you.
816
00:42:47,347 --> 00:42:50,829
Okay, man.
817
00:42:50,872 --> 00:42:53,875
Well, first of all, Speedy,
I want to say,
like most vatos,
818
00:42:53,919 --> 00:42:55,094
you're full of shit.
819
00:42:57,923 --> 00:42:59,446
You were full of shit
in the joint,
820
00:42:59,489 --> 00:43:00,969
and you're even
more full of shit now.
821
00:43:01,013 --> 00:43:01,883
Hey, man,
822
00:43:03,798 --> 00:43:05,800
guys like me need guns.
823
00:43:05,844 --> 00:43:08,020
Yeah, I know.
You need guns, man.
824
00:43:08,063 --> 00:43:09,804
That's how I make
my living, with guns.
825
00:43:09,848 --> 00:43:12,720
I rob banks.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
826
00:43:12,764 --> 00:43:15,941
Can you see me walking
into a bank with a knife,
saying, "Stick 'em up"? Huh?
827
00:43:15,984 --> 00:43:17,595
[CHUCKLING]
That would be a trip, huh?
828
00:43:19,292 --> 00:43:22,730
Besides, man,
guns don't kill people.
829
00:43:22,774 --> 00:43:25,080
Cops kill people.
830
00:43:25,124 --> 00:43:26,604
Hey, yeah, right on.
I hear you there.
831
00:43:26,647 --> 00:43:28,606
All right. Okay.
832
00:43:28,649 --> 00:43:31,521
The thing is, too, man,
like, you gotta be an idiot
833
00:43:31,565 --> 00:43:32,740
not to know
how to handle a gun.
834
00:43:32,784 --> 00:43:34,699
You know what I mean?
835
00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:36,657
I mean, first thing you do,
you make sure
the weapon is not...
836
00:43:36,701 --> 00:43:37,527
[GUN FIRES]
837
00:43:39,573 --> 00:43:40,356
[COUGHS]
838
00:43:41,183 --> 00:43:42,010
[GASPS]
839
00:43:48,277 --> 00:43:49,539
Oh, wow, man.
840
00:43:54,980 --> 00:43:56,242
Let it go, man.
841
00:43:58,374 --> 00:44:01,029
Like, that's all the time
we got today on Con Talk.
842
00:44:01,073 --> 00:44:02,988
Join us next week
843
00:44:03,031 --> 00:44:06,644
when, like, the topic will be
how to score dope in prison.
844
00:44:06,687 --> 00:44:08,733
Or how not to
go to prison,
845
00:44:08,776 --> 00:44:10,604
'cause you gotta score
dope or something.
846
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:12,519
Hey, man,
have some coffee.
847
00:44:12,562 --> 00:44:14,129
Here, homeboy,
come on.
848
00:44:15,565 --> 00:44:16,915
[COUGHS]
849
00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:18,003
You all right?
850
00:44:18,830 --> 00:44:19,831
[CLINKING]
851
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:22,181
Oh, wow, man.
852
00:44:22,877 --> 00:44:24,487
Hey.
853
00:44:24,531 --> 00:44:27,055
Hey, you're lucky
it came out.
854
00:44:27,099 --> 00:44:28,666
Hey, mine's still
in there, man.
855
00:44:29,536 --> 00:44:31,930
Hey, far out.
856
00:44:31,973 --> 00:44:34,367
So, like,
see you next week,
you know?
857
00:44:34,410 --> 00:44:35,411
And, uh...
858
00:44:36,369 --> 00:44:37,631
And like that.
859
00:44:40,286 --> 00:44:42,070
You know
what we haven't
done yet, man?
860
00:44:42,114 --> 00:44:43,985
What? A bit on dope.
861
00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:47,249
Oh, yeah.
862
00:44:47,293 --> 00:44:48,424
You know what
we need to do?
863
00:44:49,556 --> 00:44:51,906
A takeoff
on a telethon.
864
00:44:51,950 --> 00:44:53,342
You know,
like Jerry Lewis does,
865
00:44:53,386 --> 00:44:54,430
you know,
raise money for kids.
866
00:44:54,474 --> 00:44:55,736
Oh, yeah.
867
00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:57,956
Yeah. Wow.
868
00:44:57,999 --> 00:44:59,958
I know.
We'll call it
Dope-a-Thon.
869
00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:01,220
Yeah, yeah.
870
00:45:01,263 --> 00:45:02,700
Yeah.
871
00:45:02,743 --> 00:45:05,050
We have guest hosts. Yeah?
872
00:45:05,093 --> 00:45:09,576
You now,
and we raise money
for dopers that
873
00:45:09,619 --> 00:45:11,752
lost their crops. Oh, yeah.
874
00:45:11,796 --> 00:45:14,450
You like that? Yeah, I love it.
Oh, my God.
875
00:45:15,147 --> 00:45:16,191
I like it.
876
00:45:16,235 --> 00:45:17,410
Oh.
877
00:45:17,453 --> 00:45:19,368
Yeah. Dope-a-Thon.
878
00:45:19,412 --> 00:45:20,630
[MUSIC PLAYING]
879
00:45:29,117 --> 00:45:30,858
Hey!
880
00:45:30,902 --> 00:45:33,513
Welcome to Dope-a-Thon '82.
881
00:45:33,556 --> 00:45:35,428
Ow!
882
00:45:35,471 --> 00:45:37,647
And I'm your host,
Tristan The Night Away.
883
00:45:37,691 --> 00:45:39,345
Ow!
884
00:45:39,388 --> 00:45:42,261
And we're going to be here
for 36 straight hours
885
00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:45,960
to try to raise money
for the dope victims
all over the world.
886
00:45:46,004 --> 00:45:48,267
And now, to introduce
and to tell you
887
00:45:48,310 --> 00:45:50,878
what this Dope-a-Thon '82
is all about,
888
00:45:50,922 --> 00:45:54,534
let's have a big, warm hand
for people out there President
Ashley Roach Clip!
889
00:45:54,577 --> 00:45:57,102
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
890
00:45:58,103 --> 00:45:59,495
Welcome, Ashley.
891
00:45:59,539 --> 00:46:01,323
Hey, man. Ow! Ow!
892
00:46:01,367 --> 00:46:03,586
Ashley, can you explain
to our folks out there
893
00:46:03,630 --> 00:46:05,284
what this whole dope-a-thon
is all about? Ow!
894
00:46:06,676 --> 00:46:09,810
Okay, man.
Like, we're here
895
00:46:09,854 --> 00:46:14,423
because the government's
been burning our crops,
you know.
896
00:46:14,467 --> 00:46:17,949
And they're
causing a dope famine
all over the world.
897
00:46:17,992 --> 00:46:19,341
♪All over the world
898
00:46:19,385 --> 00:46:20,995
Ow!
899
00:46:21,039 --> 00:46:23,868
Here's one of the victims
of the burning, man.
900
00:46:23,911 --> 00:46:25,826
Oh, isn't he cute?
901
00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:28,568
That's a pretty
sick sight, man.
902
00:46:28,611 --> 00:46:31,701
And so what we want to do,
we want to raise money
903
00:46:31,745 --> 00:46:34,530
so we can buy some tanks
and antiaircraft guns,
you know.
904
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:37,011
Good idea.
905
00:46:37,055 --> 00:46:40,885
'Cause we gotta stop...
We gotta stop this before
it gets out of hand, man,
906
00:46:40,928 --> 00:46:42,974
because there's
a lot of people
in this world
907
00:46:43,017 --> 00:46:45,846
that depend on us
for their supply of drugs.
908
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,761
Ow!
909
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,807
You know, like,
this world would
probably fall apart
910
00:46:49,850 --> 00:46:51,896
if it wasn't for
farmers like us
911
00:46:51,939 --> 00:46:54,115
that take time
to grow this shit.
912
00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:55,943
You know what I mean?
913
00:46:55,987 --> 00:46:59,294
That's right.
So, that's why we need
your money, so send it in.
914
00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:01,340
All right.
Ashley, where are you from?
915
00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:03,037
I'm from Ann Arbor,
Michigan, man.
916
00:47:03,081 --> 00:47:06,084
Ann Arbor. Ow!
917
00:47:06,127 --> 00:47:07,737
Yeah, I was there
during the '60s,
918
00:47:07,781 --> 00:47:09,696
when the universe
meant something.
919
00:47:09,739 --> 00:47:12,090
All right. So, hi, guys,
out there in Ann Arbor.
920
00:47:12,133 --> 00:47:13,831
Now we're gonna show you
a little film
921
00:47:13,874 --> 00:47:15,658
we got sent over,
the studio sent over.
922
00:47:15,702 --> 00:47:17,791
It's their first trailer
for their brand new season.
923
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,227
It's going to
come on next week.
924
00:47:19,271 --> 00:47:20,750
It's called
The Harder They Don't Come.
925
00:47:20,794 --> 00:47:22,665
Ow! Roll the film!
926
00:47:25,451 --> 00:47:26,713
Dope!
927
00:47:27,148 --> 00:47:28,410
Dope!
928
00:47:29,890 --> 00:47:31,587
You got to come.
You got to have dope,
929
00:47:31,631 --> 00:47:33,676
hashish, drugs.
Come on. Hashish.
930
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:35,330
Lebanese.
931
00:47:35,374 --> 00:47:36,854
Home-grown Nigerian.
932
00:47:38,290 --> 00:47:39,682
Moroccan.
933
00:47:41,162 --> 00:47:41,859
Dope.
934
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,296
Hey, sister.
935
00:47:44,339 --> 00:47:45,906
Lebanese, Moroccan hashish.
936
00:47:45,950 --> 00:47:48,561
Nigerian. Home-grown.
Come on, sister.
937
00:47:48,604 --> 00:47:50,084
I give you some,
special price.
938
00:47:50,955 --> 00:47:51,999
Dope!
939
00:47:53,566 --> 00:47:56,090
Dope!
940
00:47:58,310 --> 00:48:01,226
♪Concert come,
nobody buy dope
941
00:48:01,269 --> 00:48:02,705
♪Dope
942
00:48:02,749 --> 00:48:04,142
♪He say "dope,"
he say "dope"
943
00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:06,884
♪He say "dope,"
he say "dope"
944
00:48:06,927 --> 00:48:09,408
♪Concert come,
nobody buy dope
945
00:48:11,671 --> 00:48:14,500
♪Got Moroccan,
Lebanese, Afghani, too ♪
946
00:48:14,543 --> 00:48:16,067
Hey, brother!
947
00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:17,633
Hey, you want to buy
some smoke from me?
948
00:48:17,677 --> 00:48:19,157
I make you special price.
949
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:21,202
Moroccan, Lebanese,
Afghani, huh?
950
00:48:21,246 --> 00:48:22,856
Nigerian, home-grown.
951
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,597
Uh, no, no,
fella, you know...
952
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:27,252
I wandered in here
by mistake.
953
00:48:27,295 --> 00:48:29,036
I was just
looking for a drink,
954
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,256
and Christ almighty,
I sure wandered
in the wrong place.
955
00:48:31,299 --> 00:48:33,345
No, you don't want drink.
You want happy smoke.
956
00:48:33,388 --> 00:48:34,781
You got to enjoy music,
brother.
957
00:48:34,824 --> 00:48:36,174
You call that music?
958
00:48:36,217 --> 00:48:38,263
Yeah. Good music.
959
00:48:38,306 --> 00:48:40,787
Christ almighty,
it sounds like goddamn
jungle warfare out there.
960
00:48:40,830 --> 00:48:43,181
Oh, no, that's good
reggae, brother.
961
00:48:43,224 --> 00:48:45,052
I don't know
what the hell
you call it,
962
00:48:45,096 --> 00:48:46,619
but it sounds
like a bunch of
jungle music to me.
963
00:48:46,662 --> 00:48:48,664
Oh, where you from? I'm from Canada.
964
00:48:48,708 --> 00:48:50,101
Canada!
965
00:48:50,144 --> 00:48:53,234
Oh, Canada!
Sergeant Preston, huh?
966
00:48:53,278 --> 00:48:56,890
♪O, cannabis, O, cannabis
967
00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:59,893
I make you special
Canada price, okay?
968
00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:02,983
You buy from me
Nigerian, Moroccan,
Lebanese home-grown, huh?
969
00:49:03,027 --> 00:49:05,290
No. I'm not interested
in souvenirs. Thanks anyway.
970
00:49:05,333 --> 00:49:07,901
No, I'm not selling
souvenirs, brother.
971
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:10,295
I selling good happy smoke
for good happy music.
972
00:49:10,338 --> 00:49:11,905
No. Not interested.
973
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,689
How you going to
enjoy good music
974
00:49:13,733 --> 00:49:15,387
without good marijuana,
huh, brother?
975
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,738
Say what?
976
00:49:18,781 --> 00:49:22,437
How you going to
enjoy good music
without good marijuana?
977
00:49:22,481 --> 00:49:24,874
Well, let me
get this straight.
978
00:49:24,918 --> 00:49:27,138
You're standing out here
selling marijuana?
979
00:49:27,181 --> 00:49:30,228
Now you got it, brother.
Yeah! What...
980
00:49:30,271 --> 00:49:32,708
All right. Put 'em up.
981
00:49:32,752 --> 00:49:34,754
Brother,
you don't have
to rip me off.
982
00:49:34,797 --> 00:49:37,017
Police. You with the police?
983
00:49:37,061 --> 00:49:39,324
That's right. Hey! I love you, brother!
984
00:49:39,367 --> 00:49:40,542
What the hell
are you doing?
985
00:49:40,586 --> 00:49:42,718
I have all your
albums, huh?
986
00:49:42,762 --> 00:49:44,894
♪Don't stand
so close to me ♪
987
00:49:44,938 --> 00:49:47,027
Hey! You goddamn hophead.
988
00:49:49,029 --> 00:49:51,031
Narcotics!
Now get over here.
989
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,209
Take off that...
What the hell?
990
00:49:56,906 --> 00:49:58,256
Hey, man.
I'm American, man.
991
00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:02,042
Shit, man.
I'm from Detroit.
992
00:50:02,086 --> 00:50:03,609
Get over here! Hey, man. I'm...
993
00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:06,655
Shut up, punk!
994
00:50:06,699 --> 00:50:09,267
Shit, man, hey,
man, I'm over here
in the army, man.
995
00:50:09,310 --> 00:50:11,356
These motherfuckers
don't pay shit, man.
996
00:50:11,399 --> 00:50:14,141
Shit, my old lady
made me do this, man.
997
00:50:14,185 --> 00:50:17,492
She put a gun up to my head.
She made me do this, man.
998
00:50:17,536 --> 00:50:20,452
You ever try to argue
with a Dutch bitch?
999
00:50:20,495 --> 00:50:22,976
First of all,
you got to look
up to them, man.
1000
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:24,630
She's been pedaling
a bicycle all day.
1001
00:50:24,673 --> 00:50:26,675
You know she could
kick your ass, man.
1002
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:28,242
All I'm doing is selling
harmless smoke, man,
1003
00:50:28,286 --> 00:50:29,330
just harmless smoke.
1004
00:50:30,288 --> 00:50:32,290
Harmless smoke? Yeah.
1005
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:34,292
Yeah, that looks
like harmless smoke,
doesn't it?
1006
00:50:35,597 --> 00:50:38,078
Oh, man.
I'm a diabetic, man.
1007
00:50:38,122 --> 00:50:40,689
That's just saccharin, man.
You can throw it away.
1008
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:46,652
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Oh, motherfucker, what you...
1009
00:50:48,088 --> 00:50:49,220
Fuck.
1010
00:50:51,700 --> 00:50:54,051
Okay, man.
You got all my dope, man.
Give me a break.
1011
00:50:54,094 --> 00:50:55,139
You want a break?
1012
00:50:55,182 --> 00:50:56,140
Yeah. Come on.
1013
00:50:57,706 --> 00:50:58,794
Go ahead.
Make a run for it.
1014
00:50:59,708 --> 00:51:00,883
I'll give you three.
1015
00:51:00,927 --> 00:51:02,537
One, two... Hey, man.
1016
00:51:02,581 --> 00:51:04,496
[GUN CLICKS]
1017
00:51:04,539 --> 00:51:07,020
Christ, this thing
doesn't usually misfire
like that.
1018
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:08,674
Hey, come on, man.
1019
00:51:08,717 --> 00:51:10,589
Probably hit an empty chamber.
Let's try that again. Ready?
1020
00:51:10,632 --> 00:51:11,938
Come on, man.
Come on, man!
1021
00:51:11,981 --> 00:51:13,244
One, two, three. Please, man!
1022
00:51:15,159 --> 00:51:16,812
What's the matter, punk?
1023
00:51:16,856 --> 00:51:18,423
Come on. Take that gun away
from my head.
1024
00:51:18,466 --> 00:51:20,077
Shut up, punk!
1025
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,122
I just got
a penicillin shot, man.
1026
00:51:23,776 --> 00:51:25,734
Oh, you're a real
smart-ass, aren't you?
1027
00:51:25,778 --> 00:51:28,389
No, man,
just a sore-ass, man.
That hurts.
1028
00:51:28,433 --> 00:51:29,738
Turn around, sore-ass.
1029
00:51:29,782 --> 00:51:31,305
Hey... I said, turn around!
1030
00:51:33,916 --> 00:51:36,267
Oh, you're really cute,
aren't you?
1031
00:51:36,310 --> 00:51:38,356
Hey, come on, man.
Give me a break.
Let me go, man.
1032
00:51:38,399 --> 00:51:40,009
I told you, get going.
Come on! Run!
1033
00:51:40,053 --> 00:51:41,794
Come on.
Take that gun away, man.
1034
00:51:41,837 --> 00:51:43,883
Got no balls, huh, punk?
Huh? No balls?
1035
00:51:45,754 --> 00:51:47,016
No balls, punk?
1036
00:51:47,060 --> 00:51:48,279
Hey, come on, man!
1037
00:51:49,671 --> 00:51:51,064
You got a big mouth,
you know that?
1038
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,544
Yes, sir.
1039
00:51:52,587 --> 00:51:55,068
Yeah. "Yes, sir."
Turn around.
1040
00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:56,983
On your knees,
bigmouth.
1041
00:51:57,026 --> 00:51:59,551
Hey! I said, on your knees,
bigmouth. Move!
1042
00:52:00,639 --> 00:52:01,596
Yes, sir.
1043
00:52:02,902 --> 00:52:04,033
Now, come on over here.
1044
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,340
Get over here.
1045
00:52:10,344 --> 00:52:11,867
Now, you know what
I want you to do, don't you?
1046
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:15,654
Oh, fuck that, man!
1047
00:52:15,697 --> 00:52:16,916
Shut up, punk.
1048
00:52:22,617 --> 00:52:24,010
I want you to start praying.
1049
00:52:25,229 --> 00:52:26,491
Pray!
1050
00:52:27,100 --> 00:52:29,711
Oh, Lord!
1051
00:52:29,755 --> 00:52:32,540
Oh, thanks for this meal
we're about to receive for...
1052
00:52:35,064 --> 00:52:36,457
On your feet, punk.
1053
00:52:36,501 --> 00:52:38,285
Hey, come on, man.
1054
00:52:38,329 --> 00:52:40,418
Making fun of God?I wasn't making fun of God.
1055
00:52:40,461 --> 00:52:43,334
You think God's funny, punk?
1056
00:52:43,377 --> 00:52:44,683
You son of a bitch,
don't you ever...
1057
00:52:44,726 --> 00:52:46,293
All right!
1058
00:52:46,337 --> 00:52:47,816
[LAUGHS]
1059
00:52:52,081 --> 00:52:53,039
All right.
1060
00:52:54,214 --> 00:52:56,521
Oh, yeah.
1061
00:52:56,564 --> 00:52:59,437
All right.
Give me the gun. Come on.
1062
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:00,307
Give me the gun.
1063
00:53:02,570 --> 00:53:04,224
Look, you're in enough
trouble already, son.
1064
00:53:04,268 --> 00:53:05,878
Don't make it worse.
All right?
1065
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,097
Now, listen.
1066
00:53:10,099 --> 00:53:12,319
You're high on drugs.
I can see that.
1067
00:53:12,363 --> 00:53:15,496
Now, listen, son.
Don't make it worse.
1068
00:53:15,540 --> 00:53:19,457
Tell you what,
you give me the gun,
I'll let you go.
1069
00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:21,720
Hey, don't do that.
Come on, don't do that.
That's got a hair trigger!
1070
00:53:23,678 --> 00:53:25,463
It could go off at any time.
1071
00:53:25,506 --> 00:53:26,855
Look, I got a wife and kid.
Okay?
1072
00:53:26,899 --> 00:53:28,683
How would you like
a new asshole, too, man?
1073
00:53:28,727 --> 00:53:29,945
[CHUCKLING]
Huh?
1074
00:53:29,989 --> 00:53:32,557
No. Don't do that, please.
1075
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,951
Hey, look,
I'm not even a cop, okay?
1076
00:53:35,995 --> 00:53:38,215
I'm a security guard
at Woolworths.
1077
00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:39,781
I'm on vacation,
for Christ's sake.
1078
00:53:39,825 --> 00:53:41,348
I got a wife and kids. Boom-boom!
1079
00:53:41,392 --> 00:53:42,784
Don't do that!
Don't do that!
1080
00:53:43,698 --> 00:53:44,917
Please?
1081
00:53:46,266 --> 00:53:48,225
Hey, look,
I like you people.
1082
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:50,879
Honest to God,
I really do.
1083
00:53:50,923 --> 00:53:52,968
Hey, man,
get down on
your knees.
1084
00:53:53,012 --> 00:53:54,143
All right. On your knees.
1085
00:53:54,187 --> 00:53:56,407
Yes, sir.
1086
00:53:56,450 --> 00:53:58,496
Now, you know what
I want you to do, don't you?
1087
00:53:58,539 --> 00:53:59,975
[CHUCKLES]
1088
00:54:01,368 --> 00:54:02,717
And it ain't praying, cop.
1089
00:54:03,675 --> 00:54:04,719
[ZIPPER UNZIPS]
1090
00:54:08,419 --> 00:54:09,985
No, on the king.
1091
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,077
Ow! We're back! All right.
1092
00:54:15,121 --> 00:54:17,471
Dope-a-Thon '82.
It is still rolling!
1093
00:54:17,515 --> 00:54:19,343
Keep that phone line hot.
1094
00:54:19,386 --> 00:54:20,996
We need your money
and your pledges, okay?
1095
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,085
Ow!
1096
00:54:23,129 --> 00:54:25,436
Okay. We have a very
special guest dropping by
the studio now,
1097
00:54:25,479 --> 00:54:27,264
who's going to come out
and say hi to you.
1098
00:54:27,307 --> 00:54:30,484
Let's have a big,
warm welcome for
three-time U.S. Open
1099
00:54:30,528 --> 00:54:32,225
international
masturbation champion.
1100
00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:33,966
Here he is, Harry Palms!
1101
00:54:34,009 --> 00:54:35,794
Ow! Ow!
1102
00:54:36,795 --> 00:54:38,187
Harry Palms!
1103
00:54:38,231 --> 00:54:40,538
Let's have a big
warm welcome for him.
1104
00:54:40,581 --> 00:54:42,279
Harry, I'm glad to
have you on the show.
1105
00:54:42,322 --> 00:54:43,976
Hey, fantastic!
1106
00:54:44,019 --> 00:54:45,325
Hey, nice of you
to come by.
1107
00:54:45,369 --> 00:54:47,719
Ow! Ow!
1108
00:54:47,762 --> 00:54:50,461
Ow! Ow! Ow!
1109
00:54:50,504 --> 00:54:52,637
Well, that's quite a grip
you have there, Harry.
1110
00:54:53,594 --> 00:54:55,553
Fantastic.
1111
00:54:55,596 --> 00:54:57,250
You're a graduate of
St. Agnes all-boys
Catholic high school,
1112
00:54:57,294 --> 00:54:58,730
isn't that right? Yeah, yeah.
1113
00:54:58,773 --> 00:55:01,559
Fantastic.
And you've just come
back from Russia
1114
00:55:01,602 --> 00:55:04,562
where you competed
in the giant jerk,
the world championships,
1115
00:55:04,605 --> 00:55:08,130
and you came in first
and third this year.
1116
00:55:08,174 --> 00:55:11,308
Fantastic! Whoo!
Get a hold of
yourself, Harry.
1117
00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:12,526
We're on TV.
1118
00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:14,485
Ow!
1119
00:55:14,528 --> 00:55:17,357
Yeah. Good for the skin.
1120
00:55:17,401 --> 00:55:20,578
So anyways... Ow!
1121
00:55:20,621 --> 00:55:22,928
Harry, you've been
an innovator in the field
of thumpology.
1122
00:55:22,971 --> 00:55:26,627
You've done such things
as introduce Speed Shifting,
1123
00:55:26,671 --> 00:55:28,760
Around the Hump,
the White Knuckler,
1124
00:55:28,803 --> 00:55:30,762
Over-the-Shoulder
Boulder Holder,
1125
00:55:30,805 --> 00:55:32,677
and this year you introduced
a brand new hold. What is it?
1126
00:55:32,720 --> 00:55:34,374
Ow!
1127
00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:36,985
This year I just grab it
in both hands, you know,
1128
00:55:37,029 --> 00:55:38,944
and beat it
against my forehead.
1129
00:55:38,987 --> 00:55:41,599
Fantastic!
That's using your head.
1130
00:55:41,642 --> 00:55:43,470
Ow!
1131
00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:45,864
Okay, well,
where do you go
from here?
1132
00:55:45,907 --> 00:55:49,476
Uh, well, back to
the hotel room to practice.
1133
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:53,132
Always practicing, huh?
What's your next competition?
1134
00:55:53,175 --> 00:55:58,267
Well, next is,
I go to Hong Kong for
the Fist of Fury Tournament.
1135
00:55:58,311 --> 00:56:00,531
Well, good luck,
'cause we know you'll be
in there pulling for us.
1136
00:56:00,574 --> 00:56:02,663
All right!
Harry Palms! Ow!
1137
00:56:02,707 --> 00:56:03,925
Let's hear it for him! Ow!
1138
00:56:07,102 --> 00:56:09,888
CHONG: Hey, man, you know
what bit we haven't done
for years, man?
1139
00:56:09,931 --> 00:56:13,457
Remember Bruno Hakalugi,
the Italian wrestler?
1140
00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:17,069
Remember we used to do it
where Bruno meets
the Invisible Man?
1141
00:56:17,112 --> 00:56:20,464
Well, why don't we do it
where you play
the samurai warrior, man?
1142
00:56:20,507 --> 00:56:23,380
I'll be Bruno Hakalugi,
and we'll do
the wrestling bit.
1143
00:56:25,164 --> 00:56:26,774
Yeah, man,
I used to love that bit.
1144
00:56:26,818 --> 00:56:29,516
[GONG SOUNDS]
1145
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,518
[ON PA] Good evening,
wrestling fans,
1146
00:56:31,562 --> 00:56:35,261
and welcome to
Championship Wrestling!
1147
00:56:35,304 --> 00:56:38,351
I'm your host, Jerry Dunphy,
and with me tonight
1148
00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:42,094
is three-time
world heavyweight champion,
Iron Mike McGraw!
1149
00:56:42,137 --> 00:56:43,922
Welcome to the show,
Iron Mike.
1150
00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,707
Thank you very much, Jerry.
Thank you.
1151
00:56:46,751 --> 00:56:48,840
We have an excellent card
on tap for you tonight,
1152
00:56:48,883 --> 00:56:50,450
ladies and gentlemen,
1153
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:53,322
featuring the Italian champion
Bruno Hakalugi
1154
00:56:53,366 --> 00:56:57,588
and his tag-team partner,
Japanese Ichi Scratchi.
1155
00:56:57,631 --> 00:57:00,112
How do the boys
look to you tonight,
Iron Mike?
1156
00:57:00,155 --> 00:57:02,549
Well, the Italian
looks pretty good.
Pretty good.
1157
00:57:02,593 --> 00:57:04,769
A little greasy,
but pretty good.
1158
00:57:04,812 --> 00:57:07,075
The Jap looks good.
They both look good.
1159
00:57:07,119 --> 00:57:09,295
And their opponent tonight
is none other than
1160
00:57:09,338 --> 00:57:12,254
the world-famous champion
from nowhere,
1161
00:57:12,298 --> 00:57:13,734
the Invisible Man!
1162
00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:18,130
What do you think
of the Invisible Man,
Iron Mike?
1163
00:57:18,173 --> 00:57:20,393
Well, I haven't seen
too much of him lately.
1164
00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:22,134
In fact, no one has.
1165
00:57:22,177 --> 00:57:24,005
He's invisible, you see.
1166
00:57:24,049 --> 00:57:26,704
But it's going to
be a good match,
1167
00:57:26,747 --> 00:57:29,184
and I think it's going
to be a good match.
1168
00:57:29,228 --> 00:57:31,926
Well,
this tag-team championship
of Hakalugi and Ichi Scratchi
1169
00:57:31,970 --> 00:57:33,841
is certainly showing him
no respect.
1170
00:57:33,885 --> 00:57:37,105
They're not showing him
any respect at all,
1171
00:57:37,149 --> 00:57:40,195
but I don't think
the Invisible Man
is too scared of them either.
1172
00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:42,850
It looks like
they're deciding
1173
00:57:42,894 --> 00:57:45,810
who is going to go
in the ring first here.
1174
00:57:45,853 --> 00:57:49,683
Yeah, they're deciding
who's going to go
in the ring first.
1175
00:57:49,727 --> 00:57:51,642
That's right, Iron Mike.
1176
00:57:51,685 --> 00:57:53,600
They're having
quite a discussion now.
1177
00:57:53,644 --> 00:57:55,559
I can't understand
what they're saying.
1178
00:57:55,602 --> 00:57:57,299
Well,
the Invisible Man is ready.
1179
00:57:57,343 --> 00:57:58,257
[SPEAKING MOCK JAPANESE]
1180
00:58:00,738 --> 00:58:02,261
I think it's going
to be the Italian.
1181
00:58:04,785 --> 00:58:06,091
No, it's going to be
the Japanese.
1182
00:58:06,134 --> 00:58:07,527
[BELL RINGS] No, maybe it's the Italian!
1183
00:58:07,571 --> 00:58:10,443
And there goes the bell.
Here we go.
1184
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:13,272
Okay, folks, remember,
tonight's bout is
a no-holds-barred,
1185
00:58:13,315 --> 00:58:17,581
Texas rules, no referee,
and no paycheck
for the loser.
1186
00:58:17,624 --> 00:58:20,105
He's looking around
and he gets hit with
a shot out of nowhere.
1187
00:58:20,148 --> 00:58:23,761
And another shot
out of nowhere,
and he's down already!
1188
00:58:23,804 --> 00:58:26,546
It's going to be
quite a match, huh,
Iron Mike?
1189
00:58:26,590 --> 00:58:28,940
It looks like
the Italian's in trouble.
1190
00:58:28,983 --> 00:58:30,985
Yes. He's got him
in a hammerlock now.
1191
00:58:31,029 --> 00:58:32,073
[GRUNTS]
1192
00:58:39,777 --> 00:58:40,908
[GROANS]
1193
00:58:50,004 --> 00:58:52,311
And now he's
tagged the Japanese!
1194
00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:53,791
And Ichi Scratchi
into the ring.
1195
00:58:54,618 --> 00:58:56,228
[GRUNTS]
1196
00:58:56,271 --> 00:58:57,969
He's looking around.
1197
00:58:58,012 --> 00:58:59,187
Looking for a sneak attack.
1198
00:59:00,624 --> 00:59:04,323
[SPEAKING MOCK JAPANESE]
1199
00:59:04,366 --> 00:59:06,238
And he's got a rim shot!
1200
00:59:06,281 --> 00:59:07,935
Took one right in the rim.
1201
00:59:07,979 --> 00:59:10,068
Another rim shot!
1202
00:59:10,111 --> 00:59:12,026
That's illegal,
but there's no referee,
so it doesn't matter.
1203
00:59:12,070 --> 00:59:13,071
That's right.
1204
00:59:26,693 --> 00:59:28,216
[INVISIBLE MAN GROANS]
1205
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:30,044
He bit him. He bit him.
That's a good hold.
1206
00:59:30,088 --> 00:59:31,829
That's a good wrestling hold.
Biting is allowed.
1207
00:59:31,872 --> 00:59:33,308
Oh! Another rim shot.
1208
00:59:37,922 --> 00:59:38,792
[PUNCHING]
1209
00:59:46,191 --> 00:59:48,889
Here comes Bruno Hakalugi
into the center of the ring.
1210
00:59:48,933 --> 00:59:50,499
What is he doing?
1211
00:59:50,543 --> 00:59:52,197
He's probably
digging for crabs.
1212
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,852
No. He's eating garlic!
1213
00:59:54,895 --> 00:59:57,071
He's going to give him
the garlic blow job!
1214
00:59:59,073 --> 01:00:02,337
Oh, the Japanese is down!
1215
01:00:02,381 --> 01:00:04,688
And now he's got
the Invisible Man
in a knee drop.
1216
01:00:14,001 --> 01:00:16,134
Oh, into the corner!
1217
01:00:16,177 --> 01:00:18,527
You know that hurts,
you could hear it
all the way over here!
1218
01:00:18,571 --> 01:00:20,573
That's pretty tough
on the back there.
1219
01:00:20,617 --> 01:00:23,402
That's right, Iron Mike.
1220
01:00:23,445 --> 01:00:25,099
Oh, now. Oh, oh, oh.
Look at that one.
1221
01:00:26,753 --> 01:00:28,059
He's got him in the Got-Ya!
1222
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,062
He's got his
hands full now!
1223
01:00:32,237 --> 01:00:33,455
He's really stretching.
1224
01:00:35,414 --> 01:00:37,242
Oh, and he slipped out!
1225
01:00:37,285 --> 01:00:39,418
Must have been the grease
on his hands.
1226
01:00:39,461 --> 01:00:41,028
There's a lot of
slack in him now.
1227
01:00:41,072 --> 01:00:42,682
And he gives him
another stretch.
1228
01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:44,641
And another stretch!
1229
01:00:44,684 --> 01:00:47,600
And now over his shoulder
for the Volga Boatman!
1230
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,863
There he goes
marching to Moscow!
1231
01:00:49,907 --> 01:00:52,605
♪Dum, dum,
dum, dum, dum
1232
01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:54,433
♪Dum, dum,
dum, dum ♪
1233
01:00:59,090 --> 01:01:02,310
Ichi Scratchi's up
and he's down now!
1234
01:01:02,354 --> 01:01:04,965
Didn't see where
he was going, huh,
Iron Mike?
1235
01:01:05,009 --> 01:01:07,098
You can't see
invisible balls.
1236
01:01:07,141 --> 01:01:08,229
That's right.
1237
01:01:11,276 --> 01:01:12,669
[EXCLAIMS]
1238
01:01:24,158 --> 01:01:25,246
[GRUNTING]
1239
01:01:30,121 --> 01:01:31,426
He's got him
in the Bass-Man!
1240
01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:37,215
That's not an orthodox
wrestling hold, by the way.
1241
01:01:37,258 --> 01:01:39,217
Here we go
into Double Dutch!
1242
01:01:42,046 --> 01:01:43,917
Listen to them hit
the ground there.
1243
01:01:48,182 --> 01:01:49,749
Well, I'd say
the Invisible Man's
1244
01:01:49,793 --> 01:01:51,664
in a lot of
trouble right now.
1245
01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:54,406
Right now he looks
pretty tied up.
1246
01:01:54,449 --> 01:01:55,886
He'll get out of it,
I bet you.
1247
01:01:56,843 --> 01:01:58,453
Oh!
1248
01:01:58,497 --> 01:02:00,891
There goes Hakalugi!
1249
01:02:00,934 --> 01:02:03,154
Uh-uh. He's going to make
a four-corner run!
1250
01:02:04,982 --> 01:02:07,549
That really hurts,
let me tell you.
1251
01:02:07,593 --> 01:02:09,334
I remember that
happened to me once.
1252
01:02:12,685 --> 01:02:14,556
And there goes Hakalugi.
1253
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:16,994
And Hakalugi is down!
Oh, my gosh!
1254
01:02:17,037 --> 01:02:18,517
And there goes
Ichi Scratchi!
1255
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,345
He's down.
And the Invisible Man wins!
1256
01:02:20,388 --> 01:02:22,303
Those balls are
pretty dangerous
1257
01:02:22,347 --> 01:02:23,652
when they're
flapping around like that.
You understand?
1258
01:02:23,696 --> 01:02:24,871
[EXCLAIMS]
1259
01:02:24,915 --> 01:02:25,654
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1260
01:02:45,457 --> 01:02:47,372
CHONG: Hey, Cheech.
1261
01:02:47,415 --> 01:02:50,070
Hey, how can you
stay in there
that long, man?
1262
01:02:50,114 --> 01:02:52,203
Hey, you know one bit
we got to do?
1263
01:02:52,246 --> 01:02:54,814
Alice Bowie
at a sex club.
1264
01:02:54,858 --> 01:02:57,948
♪Amsterdam,
I like it in Amsterdam
1265
01:02:57,991 --> 01:03:02,300
♪I'm so glad
we came to Amsterdam
1266
01:03:02,343 --> 01:03:05,433
♪Amsterdam, they smoke hash
in the street
1267
01:03:05,477 --> 01:03:07,827
♪And they ride
bicycles all over
1268
01:03:07,871 --> 01:03:09,960
♪And they got everything
that's cool in here
1269
01:03:10,003 --> 01:03:12,963
♪They got a lot of
dikes in Amsterdam
1270
01:03:13,006 --> 01:03:15,530
♪And they got
the shit all over
1271
01:03:15,574 --> 01:03:18,838
♪I'm so glad
we came to Amsterdam
1272
01:03:18,882 --> 01:03:22,450
♪Even though they don't know
who we are in Amsterdam
1273
01:03:22,494 --> 01:03:25,149
♪I like Amsterdam
1274
01:03:25,192 --> 01:03:27,629
♪I like it better
than America
1275
01:03:27,673 --> 01:03:30,023
♪Even though they don't know
1276
01:03:30,067 --> 01:03:33,244
♪They never seen our movies
here in Amsterdam ♪
1277
01:03:33,287 --> 01:03:36,769
I am absolutely ruined,
you know?
1278
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,685
[STAMMERS]
I just got a phone call that
1279
01:03:39,728 --> 01:03:42,993
Mr. Burt Reynolds
is definitely not coming.
1280
01:03:43,036 --> 01:03:44,342
You scared the shit
out of me, man.
1281
01:03:44,385 --> 01:03:46,213
Because he is in Florida,
1282
01:03:46,257 --> 01:03:47,867
and Ms. Dolly Parton
is in the hospital,
you know.
1283
01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:50,087
Oh, wow!
1284
01:03:50,130 --> 01:03:51,610
They're not coming?
1285
01:03:51,653 --> 01:03:52,741
For definite?
For sure?
1286
01:03:53,655 --> 01:03:55,527
They phoned me.
1287
01:03:55,570 --> 01:03:58,356
Oh, that's too bad.
Oh, that's okay.
1288
01:03:58,399 --> 01:04:00,097
Who needs Burt Reynolds, man?
1289
01:04:01,968 --> 01:04:03,448
Hey, man, we're here.
1290
01:04:03,491 --> 01:04:05,711
What have you got
to worry about, man?
1291
01:04:05,754 --> 01:04:07,017
We're going to do
a great show, man.
1292
01:04:07,060 --> 01:04:08,322
It will be all right.
1293
01:04:08,366 --> 01:04:10,020
Don't worry
about nothing.
1294
01:04:10,063 --> 01:04:12,761
You don't need Burt Reynolds
or Dolly Parton.
1295
01:04:12,805 --> 01:04:15,852
I lost my reputation.
I have no money.
1296
01:04:15,895 --> 01:04:18,158
Who needs material
possessions, man?
1297
01:04:18,202 --> 01:04:20,857
Hey, man,
real tears.
1298
01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:23,772
Real tears. Oh, hey, man, come on.
Take it easy.
1299
01:04:23,816 --> 01:04:24,991
Hey, man.
Dry your eyes, man.
1300
01:04:25,035 --> 01:04:26,123
I hate to see
a grown man cry.
1301
01:04:26,166 --> 01:04:27,341
Here, there you go.
1302
01:04:27,385 --> 01:04:29,909
Come on,
take it easy, man.
1303
01:04:29,953 --> 01:04:31,780
Don't worry
about money, man.
1304
01:04:31,824 --> 01:04:34,566
It'll make you grow old
before your time, man.
1305
01:04:34,609 --> 01:04:37,003
I can't go around
in Amsterdam.
1306
01:04:37,047 --> 01:04:38,657
You got nothing to
worry about, man.
1307
01:04:38,700 --> 01:04:40,615
We're going to
do a great show
for you, man.
1308
01:04:40,659 --> 01:04:42,704
People are going to be
screaming and cheering.
1309
01:04:42,748 --> 01:04:43,880
It'll be all right, man.
1310
01:04:45,316 --> 01:04:47,013
All right.
1311
01:04:47,057 --> 01:04:48,885
Hey, stop him, man!
He's going to jump!
1312
01:04:48,928 --> 01:04:50,887
Stop him!
I got to reload!
1313
01:04:50,930 --> 01:04:53,715
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, come on.
1314
01:04:53,759 --> 01:04:55,456
Come on. Come on.
Let go. Let go.
1315
01:04:56,805 --> 01:04:58,068
Come on, man.
1316
01:05:00,244 --> 01:05:02,246
Okay. Let him go!
1317
01:05:02,289 --> 01:05:04,509
Hey, come on. Let go!
1318
01:05:04,552 --> 01:05:06,206
Hey, man,
look how far down it is.
1319
01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:07,816
[YELLS]
1320
01:05:09,557 --> 01:05:10,950
[IMITATES CRASHING SOUND]
1321
01:05:10,994 --> 01:05:12,909
You don't want
to jump, man.
Come on.
1322
01:05:12,952 --> 01:05:14,693
Come on, man,
you'll end up spaghetti.
1323
01:05:14,736 --> 01:05:16,216
They'll just have
to scrape you off
1324
01:05:16,260 --> 01:05:18,001
the driveway there, man.
Come on.
1325
01:05:18,044 --> 01:05:20,438
It's all right, man.
You got nothing
to worry about.
1326
01:05:20,481 --> 01:05:24,094
My son is nine, you know,
and my daughter is only...
1327
01:05:24,137 --> 01:05:26,052
They'll be all right, man.
1328
01:05:26,096 --> 01:05:27,924
Tell you what,
Steven Spielberg's a personal
friend of mine, man.
1329
01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:29,708
I'll give him a call today,
1330
01:05:29,751 --> 01:05:32,232
we have lunch at I Love Sushi
in Malibu all the time, man.
1331
01:05:32,276 --> 01:05:33,886
I don't believe you do.
1332
01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:35,757
I'll give him a call.
We'll have E.T. over here.
1333
01:05:35,801 --> 01:05:37,281
You'll be a big success, man.
Don't worry about nothing.
1334
01:05:37,324 --> 01:05:38,717
It's gonna be cool.
1335
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:40,458
Hey, look.
Have a watch, man.
1336
01:05:40,501 --> 01:05:42,025
That looks good
on you, man.
1337
01:05:42,068 --> 01:05:43,417
Stick your arm out.
Here, look at that.
1338
01:05:43,461 --> 01:05:46,203
All right, man.
That looks slick.
1339
01:05:46,246 --> 01:05:48,074
You mean,
you want to
give me a watch?
1340
01:05:48,118 --> 01:05:49,989
Yeah, you can have it.
Here's one for
your old lady, too.
1341
01:05:50,033 --> 01:05:51,599
That's a nice lady's watch.
She likes that?
1342
01:05:51,643 --> 01:05:52,861
And that's
for my wife?
1343
01:05:52,905 --> 01:05:54,907
[STAMMERS]
1344
01:05:54,951 --> 01:05:56,082
Hey, don't worry
about nothing.
1345
01:05:56,126 --> 01:05:57,170
I really appreciate it.
1346
01:05:57,214 --> 01:05:58,693
Thank you.
1347
01:05:58,737 --> 01:06:00,217
Don't worry
about nothing, man.
1348
01:06:00,260 --> 01:06:02,088
Just show up there
at the theater, man.
1349
01:06:02,132 --> 01:06:04,569
You're gonna see something
you never saw before, man.
1350
01:06:04,612 --> 01:06:07,398
It'll be great, man, come on.
Don't worry about nothing.
1351
01:06:07,441 --> 01:06:11,315
Yeah, but, you know,
I have to think
of my reputation.
1352
01:06:11,358 --> 01:06:13,273
Hey, don't worry
about your reputation, man.
1353
01:06:13,317 --> 01:06:14,971
It'll be cool
in Amsterdam here.
1354
01:06:15,014 --> 01:06:16,798
Thank you very much
for the watches.
1355
01:06:16,842 --> 01:06:19,192
Don't worry about it, man.
Everything will be cool.
1356
01:06:19,236 --> 01:06:21,803
Just go home and relax, man.
1357
01:06:21,847 --> 01:06:24,023
Take a half a lude
or something.
1358
01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:26,243
All right, be cool.
We'll see you at the theater.
1359
01:06:26,286 --> 01:06:27,505
Thank you. All right.
1360
01:06:28,158 --> 01:06:30,029
♪Amsterdam
1361
01:06:30,073 --> 01:06:32,336
♪This guy's gonna lose
his ass in Amsterdam ♪
1362
01:06:33,815 --> 01:06:35,948
Oh, that's
a good-looking watch, man.
1363
01:06:35,992 --> 01:06:37,254
Hey, thanks a lot, brother.
1364
01:06:38,559 --> 01:06:40,213
All right!
Look at that sucker.
1365
01:06:43,086 --> 01:06:45,218
Hey, man,
you think this is too much
with this outfit, man?
1366
01:06:47,525 --> 01:06:49,570
[CROWD MURMURING]
1367
01:06:49,614 --> 01:06:51,616
MAN ON PA:
Ladies and gentlemen,
1368
01:06:51,659 --> 01:06:53,922
will you please welcome
Burt Reynolds
and Dolly Parton!
1369
01:07:04,933 --> 01:07:05,934
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
1370
01:07:09,329 --> 01:07:10,504
Uh, I think
there's been a mistake.
1371
01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:16,554
Thank you.
1372
01:07:16,597 --> 01:07:19,600
Uh, we're not, uh,
Burt and Dolly, man.
1373
01:07:19,644 --> 01:07:22,821
Like, we're, uh,
Cheech & Chong, you know.
1374
01:07:22,864 --> 01:07:25,824
Like, we're going to do a show
for you anyway, and...
1375
01:07:25,867 --> 01:07:26,825
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
1376
01:07:26,868 --> 01:07:28,435
And, uh...
1377
01:07:28,479 --> 01:07:32,483
So we want to start off
with a dude, man,
1378
01:07:32,526 --> 01:07:34,615
that had his arm blown off
during the war by a bomb.
1379
01:07:36,182 --> 01:07:38,315
He's real sensitive
about it, too,
1380
01:07:38,358 --> 01:07:40,317
you know, man, you know,
like, about his arm.
1381
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:43,363
So let's really give him
a nice hand, okay?
1382
01:07:43,407 --> 01:07:45,800
Let's hear it
for Limey Bitters!
1383
01:07:45,844 --> 01:07:48,281
Come on out here, man!
1384
01:07:48,325 --> 01:07:49,848
Come on out here, man.
1385
01:07:57,290 --> 01:07:58,944
Yeah, see his arm, man?
1386
01:08:07,170 --> 01:08:10,477
Well, thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
1387
01:08:10,521 --> 01:08:13,567
It gives me great pleasure
to be here tonight,
1388
01:08:13,611 --> 01:08:17,745
and I'd like to perform
for you all an unnatural act.
1389
01:08:17,789 --> 01:08:20,226
Hello. Hey, hello.
1390
01:08:20,270 --> 01:08:23,534
Hey, listen, man,
turn those mikes down.
1391
01:08:23,577 --> 01:08:25,623
Yeah.
Can't you hear them, man?
They're feeding back.
1392
01:08:25,666 --> 01:08:29,409
Turn them down,
and listen, don't black out.
1393
01:08:29,453 --> 01:08:33,500
No, don't black out
until we tell you to, man.
1394
01:08:33,544 --> 01:08:35,807
Don't mess with anything.
Just leave it as they are.
1395
01:08:37,330 --> 01:08:39,637
[STAMMERS]
Don't tell all those...
1396
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:42,901
There are a lot of
important people.
1397
01:08:42,944 --> 01:08:45,121
They even expect that
the Queen is coming
every moment,
1398
01:08:45,164 --> 01:08:46,731
all the people
from secret service.
1399
01:08:46,774 --> 01:08:48,994
Don't use the word
"bums," you know,
1400
01:08:49,037 --> 01:08:51,344
and don't use
those languages.
1401
01:08:51,388 --> 01:08:52,606
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1402
01:08:52,650 --> 01:08:55,305
Thank you.
1403
01:08:55,348 --> 01:08:58,395
Now, I know what
a lot of you people
out there think.
1404
01:08:58,438 --> 01:09:00,179
A lot of you people out there
think, "Well..."
1405
01:09:01,485 --> 01:09:04,096
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1406
01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,706
"Just what kind of
act could this be?"
1407
01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:12,409
Well, let me tell you,
ladies and gentlemen,
1408
01:09:13,714 --> 01:09:16,456
that the act of which I speak
1409
01:09:17,501 --> 01:09:18,458
is that I
1410
01:09:20,243 --> 01:09:22,419
am the only person
in the world
1411
01:09:22,462 --> 01:09:25,161
what can play this here
trumpet out his nose.
1412
01:09:27,075 --> 01:09:30,470
That's right.
And not only that,
1413
01:09:30,514 --> 01:09:33,734
I will make this here trumpet
sound like a slide trombone.
1414
01:09:35,388 --> 01:09:37,782
All right.
Thank you very much.
1415
01:09:37,825 --> 01:09:41,525
Now, I would like
to play a tune called
1416
01:09:42,613 --> 01:09:45,268
Nobody Knows About Me Cares,
1417
01:09:45,311 --> 01:09:47,357
And Nobody Cares
About Me Nose
1418
01:09:48,271 --> 01:09:49,446
Rag.
1419
01:09:50,229 --> 01:09:53,363
Out me nose.
1420
01:09:53,406 --> 01:09:56,496
Or proboscis.
Thank you very much.
1421
01:09:56,540 --> 01:09:57,410
[CLEARS THROAT]
Here we go.
1422
01:10:03,808 --> 01:10:04,765
[BLOWS NOSE]
1423
01:10:08,378 --> 01:10:10,031
Had a bit of
a greenie stuck there.
1424
01:10:11,511 --> 01:10:12,773
All right. Here we go.
1425
01:10:13,774 --> 01:10:14,775
[CLEARS THROAT]
1426
01:10:16,081 --> 01:10:17,300
[IMITATING TROMBONE PLAYING]
1427
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:27,353
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
1428
01:10:33,490 --> 01:10:34,926
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
1429
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:49,157
[GASPS]
1430
01:10:51,203 --> 01:10:52,248
[GASPS]
1431
01:10:53,858 --> 01:10:54,989
[GASPS]
1432
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:58,471
[GASPS]
1433
01:10:58,515 --> 01:11:00,604
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen!
1434
01:11:00,647 --> 01:11:02,040
Let's hear it
for Limey Bitters! Thank you very much.
1435
01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:04,564
This is a great town.
1436
01:11:06,697 --> 01:11:08,220
Lot of people think
we come here
just for the drugs,
1437
01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:09,439
but that's true.
1438
01:11:09,482 --> 01:11:10,527
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1439
01:11:14,574 --> 01:11:16,446
Hey, this theater's nice.
1440
01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:19,057
I don't think they want you
to smoke here, so light up.
1441
01:11:19,100 --> 01:11:20,363
Ladies and gentlemen,
the astronaut.
1442
01:11:29,241 --> 01:11:32,113
[THEME FROM
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY PLAYING]
1443
01:11:59,663 --> 01:12:00,577
[ENGINES IGNITE]
1444
01:12:04,668 --> 01:12:06,757
MAN: Eight, seven,
1445
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,802
six, five,
1446
01:12:09,673 --> 01:12:11,936
four, three,
1447
01:12:11,979 --> 01:12:14,286
two, one,
1448
01:12:14,895 --> 01:12:16,375
zero.
1449
01:12:16,419 --> 01:12:17,811
[ENGINES ROAR]
1450
01:12:37,004 --> 01:12:38,441
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1451
01:12:45,099 --> 01:12:46,449
[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
1452
01:12:48,407 --> 01:12:50,061
CHEECH:
Donkey smell. Donkey smell.
1453
01:12:50,104 --> 01:12:52,106
Donkey herring.
1454
01:12:52,150 --> 01:12:54,587
Uh, right now,
we'd like to take you
to Vondelpark.
1455
01:12:56,023 --> 01:12:58,983
[SHUSHING]
1456
01:12:59,026 --> 01:13:01,202
Oh, dear,
look at all these
goddamn pigeons.
1457
01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:07,861
Come on. Here, chick,
chick, chick, chick, chick.
1458
01:13:07,905 --> 01:13:09,689
Come here.
I got some popcorn for you.
1459
01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:11,778
There you go.
1460
01:13:13,824 --> 01:13:15,782
Oh, dear,
look at that little guy.
1461
01:13:42,940 --> 01:13:46,204
Hey, I don't want
to get personal or anything,
1462
01:13:46,247 --> 01:13:48,467
but did you shit your pants?
1463
01:13:50,861 --> 01:13:52,689
What?
1464
01:13:52,732 --> 01:13:53,994
I said,
did you shit your pants?
1465
01:13:58,564 --> 01:14:01,611
Yeah, I shit my pants, man.
1466
01:14:01,654 --> 01:14:03,700
Why the hell
don't you go home
1467
01:14:03,743 --> 01:14:05,528
and change them,
for Christ's sake?
1468
01:14:05,571 --> 01:14:07,486
Hell, I ain't done yet, man.
1469
01:14:08,966 --> 01:14:10,054
I still got another week.
1470
01:14:12,012 --> 01:14:14,711
Hey, man, I like you.
You're cool, man.
1471
01:14:14,754 --> 01:14:16,713
Take your
goddamn hands off me!
1472
01:14:16,756 --> 01:14:18,584
[MUMBLING MOCKINGLY]
1473
01:14:21,152 --> 01:14:22,501
Was that old-man talk, man?
1474
01:14:26,157 --> 01:14:28,289
You know, you should have
a lot more respect for me
than that,
1475
01:14:28,333 --> 01:14:30,553
you know that?
1476
01:14:30,596 --> 01:14:32,598
Christ, for all you know,
I could be your daddy.
1477
01:14:33,730 --> 01:14:34,861
[LAUGHING]
Shit!
1478
01:14:37,473 --> 01:14:39,736
You could be my daddy?
1479
01:14:39,779 --> 01:14:41,825
Sure. I used to
fuck buffaloes.
1480
01:14:41,868 --> 01:14:43,261
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1481
01:14:55,795 --> 01:14:59,277
And by jeez, I'll tell you,
you look just like your mama,
too. You know that?
1482
01:15:04,761 --> 01:15:07,198
Man, don't say nothing
about my mama, man.
1483
01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:12,769
Hey, you want to play games,
funny bunny?
1484
01:15:12,812 --> 01:15:13,900
Hey, old man,
you into games?
1485
01:15:13,944 --> 01:15:15,467
You want to play games?
1486
01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:17,774
How about race car driver?
1487
01:15:17,817 --> 01:15:19,558
[IMITATING CAR ENGINE] By Jesus!
1488
01:15:19,602 --> 01:15:22,387
You take off, by jeez,
or I'll kick you in the balls.
1489
01:15:25,477 --> 01:15:27,697
You're going to kick me
in the balls, man?
1490
01:15:30,047 --> 01:15:31,048
Hey, go ahead, man.
Come on. Come on.
1491
01:15:32,615 --> 01:15:34,747
Come on. Free shot, man!
Come on.
1492
01:15:39,796 --> 01:15:42,625
Boy, you sure as hell
don't give a guy much
of a target, do you?
1493
01:15:49,588 --> 01:15:52,025
That does it, man.
Now I'm going to kill you!
1494
01:15:52,069 --> 01:15:54,332
By Jesus, now you take off,
you son of a bitch.
1495
01:15:54,375 --> 01:15:56,203
You think I'm scared of you?
1496
01:15:56,247 --> 01:15:57,770
Hey, come on.
I'm gonna hit you
with the chair.
1497
01:16:00,643 --> 01:16:01,992
Oh, God!
1498
01:16:10,957 --> 01:16:13,177
Hey, what you doing, man?
Come on. Let's go. Come on.
1499
01:16:14,091 --> 01:16:15,309
Hey, one hand.
1500
01:16:17,964 --> 01:16:19,792
Hey, I'm going to
take your wallet, man.
1501
01:16:22,447 --> 01:16:23,840
Hey, come on, man. Let's go.
1502
01:16:27,452 --> 01:16:28,496
Hey!
1503
01:16:31,499 --> 01:16:32,413
Hey.
1504
01:16:34,111 --> 01:16:35,678
Hey, quit fucking around, man.
1505
01:16:39,377 --> 01:16:40,204
Boo!
1506
01:16:42,902 --> 01:16:43,816
Hey, dude.
1507
01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:53,260
Okay, I'm sorry, man.
1508
01:16:55,872 --> 01:16:57,177
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
1509
01:17:00,267 --> 01:17:01,660
Hey, man, what are you doing?
1510
01:17:03,444 --> 01:17:04,881
I didn't even touch you, man.
1511
01:17:04,924 --> 01:17:06,056
I didn't even touch him!
1512
01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:10,408
Hey, I was only
playing with you, man.
1513
01:17:13,367 --> 01:17:15,065
Hey, man, I'm on parole, man.
1514
01:17:17,023 --> 01:17:18,024
Shit.
1515
01:17:21,288 --> 01:17:22,420
Hey, come on, man.
1516
01:17:23,943 --> 01:17:25,597
Hey, I said I was sorry.
1517
01:17:27,381 --> 01:17:28,600
Hey, dude.
1518
01:17:30,341 --> 01:17:31,559
Hey, old dude.
1519
01:17:33,779 --> 01:17:35,912
Oh, shit. Goddamn, man.
1520
01:17:37,783 --> 01:17:40,003
Fuck, man. Hey, I'm sorry.
1521
01:17:40,046 --> 01:17:41,308
[CRYING]
Goddamn, I'm sorry, man.
1522
01:17:45,443 --> 01:17:48,141
Scared the shit
out of you that time,
didn't I, you little fuck?
1523
01:18:05,028 --> 01:18:07,770
Hey, Margaret,
where the hell are you,
now, for Christ's sake?
1524
01:18:11,164 --> 01:18:13,253
Come on out of
that goddamn toilet
1525
01:18:13,297 --> 01:18:15,560
and get over here,
for Christ's sake.
1526
01:18:15,603 --> 01:18:17,605
Come on.
We're going to see
a real live sex act,
1527
01:18:19,259 --> 01:18:22,349
right on
the goddamn stage here.
1528
01:18:22,393 --> 01:18:24,482
Christ, I never
seen a live sex act
1529
01:18:24,525 --> 01:18:26,223
for about 12 years,
for Christ's sake.
1530
01:18:28,007 --> 01:18:31,402
And it cost me
a bundle that time, too.
1531
01:18:31,445 --> 01:18:34,492
Margaret,
what the hell you doing
in that toilet, scuba diving?
1532
01:18:37,060 --> 01:18:39,410
Come on out here,
for Christ's sake.
1533
01:18:39,453 --> 01:18:41,325
Come on, now. Come on.
1534
01:18:41,368 --> 01:18:42,500
You might learn
something here.
1535
01:18:42,543 --> 01:18:44,502
Come on out here, Margaret.
1536
01:18:44,545 --> 01:18:46,504
Come on,
never mind those assholes.
1537
01:18:46,547 --> 01:18:48,114
Come on. It's okay.
1538
01:18:51,509 --> 01:18:53,859
Where the hell you been?
You don't want to watch this?
1539
01:18:53,903 --> 01:18:55,948
Come on, now, Margaret.
Sit down.
1540
01:18:55,992 --> 01:18:59,604
Look, I took that
goddamn boat tour,
didn't I?
1541
01:18:59,647 --> 01:19:02,302
Christ, if I see another
goddamn windmill, I'll puke.
1542
01:19:03,869 --> 01:19:05,436
Now, come on.
1543
01:19:05,479 --> 01:19:07,873
We're going to see
a live goddamn sex act.
1544
01:19:07,917 --> 01:19:11,616
Just sit your ass
down here and shut up,
for Christ's sake.
1545
01:19:11,659 --> 01:19:14,184
Christ almighty,
we've been here
12 goddamn days,
1546
01:19:14,227 --> 01:19:17,578
and this is the first bit
of excitement I've had, now.
1547
01:19:17,622 --> 01:19:20,059
Come on. Let's get this...
What's the matter with you?
1548
01:19:20,103 --> 01:19:21,800
There's nothing on
that goddamn seat.
1549
01:19:27,893 --> 01:19:29,286
What the hell
is that, anyway?
1550
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,593
Feels like Silly Putty,
don't it?
1551
01:19:36,075 --> 01:19:38,512
Must be some kid
jacking around
in the balcony.
1552
01:19:38,556 --> 01:19:41,037
Here, come on, sit down,
for Christ's sake, Margaret.
1553
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:42,603
Hey, let's get
this show on the road.
1554
01:19:42,647 --> 01:19:44,562
What the hell
you waiting for?
1555
01:19:44,605 --> 01:19:45,998
It's a live goddamn sex act.
1556
01:19:47,957 --> 01:19:49,610
Oh, Christ,
I hope that's not the star.
1557
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:54,224
Holy Jesus.
She's so goddamn old,
1558
01:19:54,267 --> 01:19:56,530
she's got stretch marks
on her mouth,
for Christ's sake.
1559
01:20:00,752 --> 01:20:03,189
Hey! She looks like
your goddamn sister Ethel.
1560
01:20:05,713 --> 01:20:07,193
That is goddamn Ethel!
1561
01:20:08,325 --> 01:20:09,848
Hey, Ethel, over here!
1562
01:20:12,068 --> 01:20:15,332
She's trying to ignore us,
for Christ's sake.
1563
01:20:15,375 --> 01:20:17,203
Oh, she's taking off
her clothes.
1564
01:20:18,596 --> 01:20:19,902
Nope, that ain't Ethel.
1565
01:20:25,429 --> 01:20:26,734
I don't think it's Ethel.
1566
01:20:29,563 --> 01:20:32,349
Holy Christ, lady.
Put it back on. Christ.
1567
01:20:32,392 --> 01:20:34,351
You're going to scare someone
with that body.
1568
01:20:36,222 --> 01:20:38,921
Look at her tits,
for Christ's sake.
1569
01:20:38,964 --> 01:20:40,879
Look like oranges
in a pair of socks.
1570
01:20:44,100 --> 01:20:46,058
Look out! You're going
to trip on them, lady.
1571
01:20:48,582 --> 01:20:50,715
Christ almighty.
1572
01:20:50,758 --> 01:20:53,849
Why doesn't she
take off her panties?
1573
01:20:53,892 --> 01:20:55,589
Oh, she's got them off.
Oh, Christ.
1574
01:21:00,856 --> 01:21:03,510
What the hell kind
of haircut is that,
for Christ's sake?
1575
01:21:05,034 --> 01:21:06,862
Looks like
someone's initials there.
1576
01:21:09,516 --> 01:21:10,996
Christ almighty.
1577
01:21:12,780 --> 01:21:14,782
Oh, Christ,
now she's showing it to us.
1578
01:21:14,826 --> 01:21:18,438
Oh, for Christ's sake.
1579
01:21:18,482 --> 01:21:22,616
Christ, I don't want to
see it that close, lady,
for Christ's sake.
1580
01:21:22,660 --> 01:21:25,837
Looks like the Holland
Tunnel there, don't it?
1581
01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:28,187
Look, it's doing impressions,
Margaret! Look at that!
1582
01:21:30,581 --> 01:21:33,410
Margaret, look,
there's a deviled egg
sandwich right there.
1583
01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:40,112
That's goddamn funny,
Margaret.
1584
01:21:40,156 --> 01:21:43,376
Come here. Sit down.
Sit down, Margaret.
1585
01:21:43,420 --> 01:21:45,683
What the hell
is she going to do with
that Coke bottle, now?
1586
01:21:47,598 --> 01:21:48,816
Holy Jesus.
1587
01:21:52,777 --> 01:21:54,735
You don't suppose she's got
an opener up there, do you?
1588
01:22:00,916 --> 01:22:02,743
Hey, the goddamn
bottle disappeared!
1589
01:22:05,224 --> 01:22:06,573
No deposit, I guess, huh?
1590
01:22:10,751 --> 01:22:14,668
There it is!
Look at that pop
out of there.
1591
01:22:14,712 --> 01:22:18,498
She shot that bottle
clear across the room,
for Christ's sake.
1592
01:22:18,542 --> 01:22:19,978
And it's open!
Margaret, look!
1593
01:22:22,720 --> 01:22:25,070
My God, it's goddamn
Houdini up there.
1594
01:22:28,204 --> 01:22:29,988
What's she going to do
with those grapes now?
1595
01:22:31,424 --> 01:22:33,339
No, she... Holy Jesus.
1596
01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:39,606
She's stuffing them...
1597
01:22:39,650 --> 01:22:40,868
Oh, for Christ's sake, lady.
1598
01:22:43,523 --> 01:22:45,438
Why don't you get a purse
or something?
1599
01:22:47,701 --> 01:22:50,226
Goddamn pack rat.
Look at that.
1600
01:22:50,269 --> 01:22:51,749
Are you saving
them for later?
1601
01:22:51,792 --> 01:22:54,273
What the hell are
you doing, lady?
1602
01:22:54,317 --> 01:22:56,580
How is she going to
get them out of there,
for Christ's sake?
1603
01:22:56,623 --> 01:22:58,321
I'm waiting to see...
Oh, here they come!
1604
01:23:00,453 --> 01:23:03,195
Margaret, a goddamn jackpot.
Look at...
1605
01:23:04,762 --> 01:23:06,546
Margaret, look at that!
1606
01:23:08,157 --> 01:23:10,202
Oh, no, she's eating them.
Oh, jeez.
1607
01:23:11,812 --> 01:23:15,120
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, jeez.
1608
01:23:17,079 --> 01:23:18,950
Hey, if you're
that hungry, lady,
1609
01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,822
I'll buy you
a hamburger
for Christ's...
1610
01:23:21,866 --> 01:23:23,911
What's the matter?
You getting sick?
1611
01:23:23,955 --> 01:23:25,783
You okay?
You getting sick?
1612
01:23:25,826 --> 01:23:27,350
Here, put your head
between your legs.
1613
01:23:28,916 --> 01:23:30,396
Christ, that might
make you sicker.
1614
01:23:30,440 --> 01:23:32,355
Sit up here, Margaret.
1615
01:23:32,398 --> 01:23:34,400
Come on. Sit down,
for Christ's sake.
1616
01:23:36,837 --> 01:23:38,622
Don't look.
If it's going to make
you sick, don't look.
1617
01:23:38,665 --> 01:23:40,189
I'll tell you
when to look.
1618
01:23:40,232 --> 01:23:43,279
Hey, Margaret, look.
1619
01:23:43,322 --> 01:23:45,237
Margaret, look.
They brought in
a goddamn dog.
1620
01:23:47,979 --> 01:23:51,504
Look at the size of
that son of a bitch.
1621
01:23:51,548 --> 01:23:53,898
I bet that's the dog
that's been shitting
all over Amsterdam.
1622
01:23:53,941 --> 01:23:55,160
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1623
01:23:56,379 --> 01:23:58,250
Holy Jesus.
1624
01:24:02,341 --> 01:24:04,169
Ladies and gentlemen,
1625
01:24:04,213 --> 01:24:06,911
we'd like to present to you
the dogs, Ralph and Herbie.
1626
01:24:06,954 --> 01:24:08,217
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1627
01:24:19,402 --> 01:24:20,664
[GROWLS]
1628
01:24:25,234 --> 01:24:26,365
[SNARLING]
1629
01:24:33,546 --> 01:24:34,460
[YELPING]
1630
01:24:42,599 --> 01:24:43,469
[BARKS]
1631
01:24:46,037 --> 01:24:47,604
Herbie!
1632
01:24:47,647 --> 01:24:49,214
Hey! Hey! How the hell are you?
1633
01:24:59,224 --> 01:25:01,139
Hey, you're looking
good, man.
1634
01:25:02,488 --> 01:25:04,751
I hardly recognized you.
1635
01:25:04,795 --> 01:25:07,972
Yeah, I got
a new haircut, man.
It's a punk cut.
1636
01:25:08,015 --> 01:25:09,539
Look at that,
it's red and orange
and green and yellow.
1637
01:25:09,582 --> 01:25:10,844
I like that.
1638
01:25:10,888 --> 01:25:12,455
And brown in the center.
1639
01:25:16,459 --> 01:25:18,113
Where you been?
1640
01:25:18,156 --> 01:25:19,897
I haven't seen you
for so long, man!
1641
01:25:19,940 --> 01:25:22,073
Oh, my human's been
keeping me locked up, man.
1642
01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:24,031
Oh, really?
1643
01:25:24,075 --> 01:25:26,033
Yeah, he went off
on vacation, man,
to, uh, London.
1644
01:25:26,077 --> 01:25:27,861
Yeah? He left me in the room
for two weeks.
1645
01:25:27,905 --> 01:25:29,341
Oh, no.
1646
01:25:29,385 --> 01:25:30,908
That's okay.
I shit in his earphones.
1647
01:25:33,345 --> 01:25:34,868
I ate all his stash, too.
1648
01:25:36,435 --> 01:25:37,523
Hey. What?
1649
01:25:37,567 --> 01:25:38,698
Want to chase some cats?
1650
01:25:38,742 --> 01:25:41,397
Cats?
1651
01:25:41,440 --> 01:25:42,746
Yeah, I could use
a little pussy about now.
1652
01:25:44,661 --> 01:25:46,576
Oh, smell that.
1653
01:25:46,619 --> 01:25:47,881
What?
1654
01:25:49,709 --> 01:25:51,276
[EXCLAIMS]
1655
01:25:51,320 --> 01:25:52,886
Oh, it's Fifi.
1656
01:25:56,629 --> 01:26:01,939
Oh, God.
She gets me so horny,
I could pole-vault.
1657
01:26:01,982 --> 01:26:04,159
God, I don't know,
every time I smell her,
man, I go nuts.
1658
01:26:04,202 --> 01:26:05,595
Hey, no! Hey!
1659
01:26:05,638 --> 01:26:07,074
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
1660
01:26:09,120 --> 01:26:10,034
Hey!
1661
01:26:12,645 --> 01:26:13,777
Knock it off, Ralph!
1662
01:26:15,866 --> 01:26:18,564
I'm sorry. I don't know
what got into me.
1663
01:26:18,608 --> 01:26:20,175
Yeah, well,
I know what got into me!
1664
01:26:25,223 --> 01:26:26,790
Just stay in front of me.
1665
01:26:26,833 --> 01:26:28,922
Go ahead. Get me back. Get out of here.
1666
01:26:32,143 --> 01:26:34,972
Christ, you been
locked up too long,
haven't you?
1667
01:26:35,015 --> 01:26:37,148
Let's go chase
some Fifi, man.
Come on.
1668
01:26:37,192 --> 01:26:38,367
I'm horny.
1669
01:26:39,846 --> 01:26:41,718
No. I got to go poop.
1670
01:26:41,761 --> 01:26:43,720
What? Right now?
1671
01:26:43,763 --> 01:26:45,417
Well, you hit a nerve
or something, man.
1672
01:26:48,159 --> 01:26:51,031
Oh, well, shit,
well, let's pick out
a good spot for it.
1673
01:26:51,075 --> 01:26:52,468
Oh, God, I can't wait.
1674
01:26:52,511 --> 01:26:54,252
Well, just do it
right here.
1675
01:26:54,296 --> 01:26:56,472
Yeah. But we're in the middle
of the restaurant, man.
1676
01:26:56,515 --> 01:26:59,039
Even better!
1677
01:26:59,083 --> 01:27:00,911
Hey, go.
I'll watch out
for the waiter.
1678
01:27:29,940 --> 01:27:31,681
Hey, Herbie,
here it comes!
1679
01:27:33,639 --> 01:27:35,380
It's going to be
a big one!
1680
01:27:38,035 --> 01:27:39,689
Open wide!
1681
01:27:42,213 --> 01:27:44,302
Oh, God!
Look at the size
of that mother!
1682
01:27:45,477 --> 01:27:47,914
Did I do that?
1683
01:27:47,958 --> 01:27:49,655
God, what do you
want to name it, man?
1684
01:27:49,699 --> 01:27:51,614
Hey, it's still smoking!
1685
01:27:51,657 --> 01:27:54,573
Oh, I love
where you put it, too.
1686
01:27:54,617 --> 01:27:56,096
Yeah.
1687
01:27:56,140 --> 01:27:57,924
As soon as
the waiter comes out,
1688
01:27:57,968 --> 01:27:59,274
he's going to
skid all the way
to the kitchen!
1689
01:28:00,536 --> 01:28:02,886
Thank you very much.
1690
01:28:02,929 --> 01:28:05,192
It's been a pleasure,
a pleasure playing for you.
1691
01:28:05,236 --> 01:28:06,542
Thank you very much.
1692
01:28:06,585 --> 01:28:08,239
ANNOUNCER: Cheech & Chong!
1693
01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:09,632
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
1694
01:28:30,000 --> 01:28:32,872
♪Still smokin'
1695
01:28:32,916 --> 01:28:35,658
♪Still tokin'
1696
01:28:35,701 --> 01:28:37,573
♪Hazel died at 65
1697
01:28:37,616 --> 01:28:38,617
♪Don't know
why I'm still alive
1698
01:28:38,661 --> 01:28:40,358
♪Smokin', still smokin'
1699
01:28:41,620 --> 01:28:44,144
♪Still smokin'
1700
01:28:44,188 --> 01:28:47,017
♪Still tokin'
1701
01:28:47,060 --> 01:28:48,497
♪Haven't got a dime
1702
01:28:48,540 --> 01:28:50,107
♪Havin' fun and feelin' fine
1703
01:28:50,150 --> 01:28:52,065
♪And smokin', still smokin'
1704
01:28:58,637 --> 01:29:01,205
♪Still smokin'
1705
01:29:01,248 --> 01:29:04,426
♪Still smokin'
1706
01:29:04,469 --> 01:29:06,950
♪Spendin' all my time
in an unemployment line
1707
01:29:06,993 --> 01:29:09,561
♪And smokin', still smokin'
1708
01:29:09,605 --> 01:29:12,695
♪Still smokin'
1709
01:29:12,738 --> 01:29:15,306
♪I'm even jokin'
1710
01:29:15,350 --> 01:29:16,916
♪Haven't got a job
1711
01:29:16,960 --> 01:29:18,309
♪Thank you, Jesus,
thank you, God
1712
01:29:18,353 --> 01:29:20,093
♪And smokin', I'm smokin'
1713
01:29:29,973 --> 01:29:32,236
♪The doctor and my brother
and my mother and my father
1714
01:29:32,279 --> 01:29:35,021
♪All tell me to quit
1715
01:29:35,065 --> 01:29:36,545
♪Quit!
1716
01:29:36,588 --> 01:29:38,242
♪But even though they love me
1717
01:29:38,285 --> 01:29:39,765
♪And they shove me
and they bug me
1718
01:29:39,809 --> 01:29:40,940
♪I can't go for this
1719
01:29:40,984 --> 01:29:42,028
[COUGHING]
1720
01:29:42,072 --> 01:29:42,855
Oh, shit.
1721
01:29:44,901 --> 01:29:47,251
♪Still smokin'
1722
01:29:48,295 --> 01:29:51,037
♪I'm still smokin'
1723
01:29:51,081 --> 01:29:53,649
♪It's the only way
I can make it through the day
1724
01:29:53,692 --> 01:29:56,652
♪It's smokin', still smokin'
1725
01:29:56,695 --> 01:29:59,611
♪Still smokin'
1726
01:29:59,655 --> 01:30:01,700
♪You know I'm smokin'
1727
01:30:01,744 --> 01:30:03,528
♪Writin' songs, drinkin' wine
1728
01:30:03,572 --> 01:30:05,138
♪Gettin' high
and feelin' fine
1729
01:30:05,182 --> 01:30:06,662
♪And smokin', still smokin'
1730
01:30:10,448 --> 01:30:12,450
♪Still smokin'
1731
01:30:16,541 --> 01:30:18,064
♪Hey, I'm still smokin'
1732
01:30:22,199 --> 01:30:24,375
♪I'm still smokin'
1733
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,290
[LAUGHING]
1734
01:30:26,943 --> 01:30:28,423
[COUGHING]
1735
01:30:30,207 --> 01:30:31,295
Hey, who's got a smoke?
116397
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