Original subtitles

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1 - Welcome to my humble abode. - Wow. Really nice.

- Come in. - Cool. Thank you.

We have leftovers if you're hungry.

Ooh, some hash browns. Nice.

- Oh, fuck! - Oh, my God.

- I thought that was my uncle for a second. - You must have a hot uncle.

Um, I'm Will.

I'm Maddie. Hi.

Um...

- Let's go to my room. - Yeah.

Nice room.

Is this... Is this okay? Should we keep doing this?

It's fine. I closed the door.

Do I have formal consent to engage

in sexual fornications with you?

- It's fine. Thank you. - Great. Thank you.

Hey! I thought you were gonna watch the finale with me.

Oh, my God. Come watch.

I'm kind of in the middle of something important.

Oh, my God. Riley is texting about it right now.

- Okay. - Uh, why don't you guys just watch it?

- It's fine. It's totally cool. - No! Come on.

- I'll come back another time. - You'll spoil it. Stop, Riley.

- What the fuck? You were supposed to wait. - I'm sorry.

- That's such a cute bra. - Thank you.

- Your boobs look amazing. - Really?

Yeah. I got your favorite kind.

- Mmm. Mmm. - The coconut oil, it tastes like butter.

- Is the rest of the season... - Bye.

- Bye. Nice meeting you. - Bye. You too.

- It was nice to meet you. - Yeah. Enjoy.

- Love your shirt. - Thank you. Have a good one.

- Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com -

Okay. So what exactly is gonna happen here?

I've never been to a divorce party.

One of the moms in Frances's baby group had one, like, three years ago,

and we all had to give an impromptu speech

- to lift up the woman who got divorced. - Jesus Christ.

- I hate public speaking. - I know. Me too.

That's why I came up with something this time.

What? You didn't tell me I was supposed to write something.

It's okay. I'm gonna pretend I'd, like, make it up on the spot.

I'm gonna say, like, you know,

"Throughout our lifetime,

we will be lost and found, lost and found hundreds of times.

But it's just a moment and it'll pass,

and what's important is that we're all there for each other."

Yeah. That's suitable for Christine

and her New Age California hippie green juice bullshit.

- Right? - Yeah.

- You have crystals. - Yeah. There's no downside.

Ladies. Ladi...

- Oh, hi! Just in time. - Hi.

- Hey. - Everybody have a seat.

Um, first of all, I want to thank everybody for being here

and coming to help support Christine

through this very challenging chapter of her life.

And we're going to do a support circle right now

where we say uplifting and nurturing things to Christine.

Who'd like to get us started?

Katie, how about you?

- Me first? - Yeah.

Um, okay.

Uh. Yeah, of course.

Christine, I...

Throughout your lifetime, you're gonna be lost and found...

hundreds of times.

Lost and found.

We all will be.

This is... This is just a moment that will pass.

But what is important is that we are all here for each other.

Oh, my God.

That was a beautiful way to get us started, Katie.

- Thank you. - Katie, come here.

- That was so special. - It was, uh, from the heart.

I'm sorry.

Sylvia, you want to go next?

- Mm-hmm. - It's a hard act to follow.

Oh, thanks.

My parents got divorced,

and it was the best thing that ever happened to my dad.

He just flourished.

He joined a yachting club, and he wrote a memoir.

He opened a restaurant at one point.

He-He climbed Mount Kilimanjaro.

And h-he just... He lived till 85, and he lived life to the fullest.

And so will you, Christine.

"So will you."

- Thank you. - How inspiring is that?

And what happened to your mom?

She's a disaster.

That was terrible.

She didn't... She didn't recover.

Um, but she's alive.

Yeah. If you can... If you can call it that.

I have always loved Sylvia's spiciness.

But she ate a speech.

Well, we've been married a very long time.

She is full of surprises. Keeps life interesting.

Sylvia is clearly going through some sort of midlife crisis.

You know, with work and the mommy track, blah, blah, blah.

Better eating a speech than getting a back tattoo

or Eat, Pray, Love'ing.

So, I have a plan.

I called Kirk Friedkin over at Tobey because I heard they're expanding

their M&A department.

And it turns out they are hiring.

- I would just say... - Yeah?

... that, whatever you do to get involved

in her work life, you keep it casual.

Yeah. I'm just trying to help.

I'm just saying that sometimes you can

be kind of intense about these things.

What do you mean?

Your hands are literally in fists right now.

My wife ate my boss's speech like a dog.

Of course I am stressed.

Yes, Charlie. And if you want to help Sylvia,

give her Kirk's card and let her do with it

- what she wants to do with it. - Yeah.

Just be chill.

Try to pretend to be chill.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I can do that 100%.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- But maybe don't be 100%. - Hmm?

- Maybe be 30%. - Mm-hmm.

Maybe just, "Hey, babe, here's the card. I gotta go chill."

- Do you see what I'm doing there? - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Give her the card and then step back, like a chill guy.

Totally agree.

Ooh! Quiznos for lunch.

Yes! Yes!

Okay, Frances, can we set the table, please?

Mm-hmm.

- Hi! Hi. - Oh, hi!

Hey. Hey, why aren't there any dino nuggets left?

What's the point of having a shopping

list if no one puts anything on it?

Oh, I'm sorry. I finished them.

You ate those things? They're disgusting.

They're made from, like, chickens' beaks.

They're made from chickens' beaks?

No, no. I'm... I'm just kidding.

Why do you give them to the kids?

Because they just eat them and I'm too tired to argue.

Hi.

So, uh, vis-à-vis

what we were discussing the other day at the partners retreat,

I have something for you.

Yes. What's this? "Kirk Friedkin" of

"Tobey, Friedkin, Kwong and Zelman."

- What's this? - Kirk Friedkin. He's a guy I know.

Who's Kirk Friedkin? What are you guys talking about?

- He is a lawyer. - Yes. I gathered that from context.

Okay. So I was talking to him today,

and he mentioned they're expanding their M&A department.

And he said to give him a call.

Oh. I didn't ask you to do that.

Oh, no. I know. I-I-I know Kirk. We go way back.

Okay. Well, I'm not your charity case.

What's a charity case?

That's not what's going on. I'm doing him a favor, not you.

Oh. Does he know that I haven't practiced for 13 years?

- He does. - What's a charity case?

Does he know I can only work between the hours of 9:00 and 2:00?

- Yes. He was cool with that. - What's a charity case?

Does he know that I am a terrible lawyer?

- I kept that part under wraps. - What's a charity case?

It's when you do someone a favor because you pity them.

Frances, please can you set the table?

- I'm doing it! - I'm sorry, are you mad about this?

Mad? No, no. I'm grateful.

- That's nice of him. I'm surprised. - Why are you being weird?

I'm not being weird. I'm just listening to Dad.

So when should I call him? In a week or something?

- No, call him now. - Yeah, now.

- I'll call him now. It's a good time. - Okay. Well, call him whenever.

You have his card now, so whatever you want to do,

that is... That's swell. Hi.

Hi, this is Sylvia Greeves. I was just referring... No.

Hi. This is Sylvia Greeves.

I was just calling in regards to... myself.

Mr. Friedkin. Sylvia Greeves. Yes, attorney at law.

When have I ever said that? When has anyone...

Has anyone ever said that?

You can do this. So...

- Yo. - What's up, dawg? You free?

Who announces that they're moving in together on Instagram?

How fucking lame is that, right?

- It's tacky. - Oh. It's thirsty is what it is.

Like, who fucking cares?

Ooh, you moved in together. Congratu-fucking-lations.

You post about it? You fucking post about it?

- On the grid? - On the grid!

- On the grid! - Put that shit on your stories.

- I know. You don't go grid. - Right?

- You don't go grid with that. - No.

That... That, not for the grid.

Why don't you post on your grid shit

that actually people give a fuck about?

Engagement. Graduation. Baby.

- Old dog birthday. - Right?

That I wanna see.

- Death. The big... - Give me...

- Tell me your grandma died. - The big ones!

- Activism. - You're at a march!

- Pink hats! - Post if you're storming the Capitol.

Then we can arrest you and probably not charge you.

- That's what I wanna see. - That's the good stuff.

Moving in with someone, not an accomplishment.

- Not an accomplishment. - You've done nothing.

- The toothbrushes. - Two toothbrushes in a cup?

- That's lame. - Who fucking cares about that?

Such a reach.

Or unless if she's moving into a new house,

which I would wanna see just 'cause Audrey's got such good taste.

- You know? - Hey.

Why?

Thought you would catch it.

You know I'm not good at sport.

How are you, buddy?

I just feel like she did that, like, to me, you know?

Like, she knows I'm active on social media.

You know what could help?

If I threw you a divorce party. Could be really fun.

- What is that? Is that a thing? - It's a thing. I've been to a few.

I just went... I literally just went to one.

It's a bunch of friends getting together

and helping you feel better and find closure.

I'm trying to think of a sarcastic thing to say about that, but hon...

it sounds quite nice.

It sounds like I cou... I could maybe use that.

Right? I'll organize it.

You don't have to worry about it. It'll be fun.

I... I just don't wanna be, like, dwelling on the past, you know?

I want it to be...

I'm very future-oriented right now. I want it to be about the future.

To the future.

Okay. Not, like, a future with robots

and spaceships and shit like that. Like the immediate future, okay?

Affirmative.

Don't show up dressed like a robot.

I'll take care of it.

I'll organize a really good party

with all your weird friends.

Why is the Plasma bike in the bathroom?

Why is the anything in the anywhere?

Wow! Jessipa poops so much for someone her size.

- Oh, you look nice. - Oh, thank you.

Ow!

This house is too small.

Yeah. Has anything come on the market this week?

Nothing we can afford.

Is the, uh...

Yeah, yeah. The nursing home's still available,

but Will said that construction would be really long and expensive.

Yeah.

He knows a bit about it. You know, he's renovated a lot of bars.

Yeah. No, I know. I just feel like

that's a decision you and I should make,

not you and Will.

Yeah, noted.

- So, how'd it go with Kirk? - Who?

Kirk Friedkin, the lawyer friend you were gonna call.

Yeah. Oh. That Kirk Friedkin.

You said you were gonna call him.

Hmm?

- Kirk. You were gonna call him. - Yes. I know. I'm on to it.

- You didn't call him. - Well, I...

You just gave me his number, so I'm... I'm going to.

Just give me a minute. I'm... I'm working on it.

You're working on making a call?

Babe, why are you hassling me about this?

I asked you if you called the person. It's... Whatever.

- And I will. - Okay.

Where are you going again tonight?

Uh, it's, uh, Will's divorce party.

Yeah. He's really going through it.

You know that Audrey's already moved in with her new boyfriend?

I can't imagine.

- Yeah. - Wow.

- So tacky. - Well, have fun.

- All right. - Bye.

- Do you wanna... Okay. - Ye...

- Bye. - Bye.

- Yo. So, what are we doing here again? - We're celebrating me.

So, it's like a birthday party but not on your birthday?

It's a divorce party.

That's not a thing. But I do like partying.

- Hey. - Hi.

What's, uh... What's going on?

What? Oh. I just, uh... I just saw one

of the moms from school at the valet.

You owe her money or something?

No, I just... I owe her a phone call and I just...

I can't be bothered to deal.

Wassup?

Thanks for the invite, Omar.

Big Willy, congrats on the divorce.

The bottle of Cristal is on me tonight. You're welcome.

You're gonna get one bottle for the whole table?

Yes, and I'm paying. You're welcome.

Who are these guys?

Oh, these guys?

My frat bros. You're gonna love 'em.

Hamza, speak.

Why the fuck did you invite him, man?

I didn't want it to be awkward at work tomorrow.

Sylvia. I thought that was you, but I... I didn't see Charlie.

Oh.

Did you get my message about the music lesson?

I did. I did get your message.

I will call you back. I'm so sorry.

- I think our table's ready. - Oh, okay. Cool.

Bye.

Okay.

Um, just while we have a minute before we get too wasted,

- how about another round of toasts? - Hey!

I'll start.

Will, throughout your lifetime, you're gonna be lost hundreds of times,

hundreds of times.

And you're lost right now. But we're all here for you.

To being lost.

Whoo! To being lost. Whoo!

I'm not gonna lie, Sylvia. He's at the lowest point of his life,

and you tell him it's going to happen

a hundred more times. Little tough.

I'm saying it's gonna happen to all of us.

- That's what I meant. It's part of life. - Yeah.

- We all get lost. - Yeah.

- I like that, Sylvia. - Thank you, Omar.

Right, because somebody came into his life

and kind of fucked it up for a little bit.

And luckily, he doesn't have to deal

with her fake-ass bullshit no more.

Why don't we set a few ground rules for the evening?

Like, uh, we don't all need to be talking shit about my ex-wife.

So, you know, nothing... nothing too negative.

Or if it helps you to get something off your chest,

maybe go for it because that's why we're here.

He might have a point. Should we go around the table

and everyone says the five things they hate about her the most?

I don't know if women-bashing is in the spirit of the evening.

Don't look at it as women-bashing.

Look at it like we're talking shit about

somebody who happens to be a woman.

She also happens to be my sister.

And that's why I am Team Sylvia.

Yes. What?

- Look... - Okay. Looking forward to the future.

Will, I think you should ask that girl out on a date.

Ooh.

- Which one? - Hmm. Whichever.

- Yeah. We're all the same. - I didn't say that.

But for the purpose of this moment, they are.

- All right. - Yeah!

- Yeah, Will. - Big Will!

Will! Will! Will! Will! Will! Will!

Yeah!

- That's a legend right there. - Yeah, man.

Think he's having fun?

Yeah. He's having a great time. Why are you tripping?

I'm not. I-I organized this whole thing. I just... I don't know.

After you disappeared on him for five fucking years.

Buddy, you don't know the whole story of that.

- Can we go for a coffee sometime? - Oh, here he is. Here he is.

How'd it go?

Good news. She said, "I'm married,

and even if I wasn't, you're not my type."

Oh!

Ooh. Thank you.

- Hello. - Can I interest anyone in a dessert?

Oh, maybe.

- I actually already bought dessert. - Oh! Oh, damn.

Actually, we might need a few

more minutes with the menu. Thank you.

Oh. Okay.

Pass that to Sylvia.

You're not gonna do that at the table, are you?

I'm not married to the venue.

What's the problem? You used to love doing a little cocaine.

Once upon a time, I loved cocaine.

- Hey! Hi! - Hey.

Are you guys having a good time?

Have you tried the broccolini yet? It's great.

- It is so good. - Oh.

- I'm, like, putting butter on everything. - I know! Me too.

It's all about an empire waist.

- Am I right? - Yes! Yeah!

- That's so true. Have fun. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You just became a completely different person. That was weird.

Look, I don't make up the rules.

- I don't make up how society works. - Then break out of your box.

- Do a little nose candy. - Please don't say that.

- Some Bolivian marching powder. - Don't say that either.

- Why not? Just dance with the white lady. - No. I don't...

- Travel down the white line highway? - Okay. Do you really wanna do that?

Just trying to have fun.

Well, I don't know.

- Change of venue. Let's fucking bail. - Yes! I love it. Where should we go?

I'm thinking we should go somewhere a little more festive.

Ah, I know. Like an escape room.

I'm thinking more classy.

Piano bar?

He's talking about a strip club, just so you know.

Oh. Really?

I don't know though. It seems a little too on the nose?

- I mean, maybe it's a little cliché. - No?

- Yeah, totally. - I don't want to ruin the night by maybe

- getting a weird vibe at the strip club. - Yeah. Let's not ruin the vibe.

Like, I feel like we're gonna have fun wherever we go,

even if it's a strip club.

I for sure wanna keep hanging out.

If we go to another spot and you guys

want to go to an all-nude strip club,

I don't want to be the guy who's like,

"Let's not go to an all-nude strip club."

- So, it's unanimous? Strip club! - Strip club!

We're going to the strip club.

- There's a song. - Okay.

- If there's a song, you can't stop him. - I get it. I...

This might be, I think, the greatest night I've ever had.

- Bro, let's go, dawg. - Whoo!

Let's fucking get the fuck out of this bitch, bro.

Hey. We need you to be the tiebreaker.

Upscale or a little more down and dirty?

Oh, whichever you prefer.

No. Come on. We want your opinion. You organized this whole night.

You decide.

I'm happy that I could be of help,

but I think I'm gonna sit this part of the evening out.

- But you guys go. You go have fun. - No, come on.

I... I'm not gonna come, buddy.

- Don't spoil it. Come on. - What? I'm...

You guys should go. I just personally don't...

I don't feel like going to a strip club with a bunch of guys

who really want to go to a strip club.

- There it is. - What? This is your night.

And if you and your middle-aged friends wanna go...

- Yeah. - ... and be entertained by girls

barely older than my daughter, then you should do it.

Don't make it sound gross. This is about camaraderie.

Camaraderie was available in the restaurant.

Why do you care if I'm there? Why is that important? Go.

- Have fun with your man friends. - I care 'cause you're talking to me

like I'm a loser.

Oh, okay. Well, then, yeah. Let's go. Let's go see some tits.

Don't do that, okay?

I don't want you to come if you don't want to come.

- What do you want from me? - I want you to want to go to the strip club.

In a million years, that will never happen.

- You used to like going to the strip club. - I was pretending to like that.

You know that. It was when I was 20.

I was trying to be cool and ironic.

I can't stand those places. They're depressing.

I'm middle-aged now, and I don't have to pretend anymore.

Well, I feel quite judged right now.

I'm not judging you. I'm really not.

Go and have fun with your friends. You have my blessing.

- Go forth to the strip club. - I will go forth.

- Good. - I'm gonna have a fucking blast.

- I can't wait to hear about it. - You will be a distant memory.

Just do your thing.

You have to come.

It will be so sad and pathetic...

if I am a divorced man at a strip club with a bunch of frat guys.

If you're there, it's fun and ironic.

Please make this a fun and ironic night.

Please come. I'm begging you.

You have to come. You have to come.

Close your eyes. Read a fucking book.

I don't care. You have to be there.

I wanted this dinner to be about your future. About the next chapter.

- I'm not gonna... - Fuck the future! I don't want the future.

The future is bad.

- You don't know what it holds. - Oh, I know what it holds.

For me, the future is baldness, testicular cancer and then I die.

Testicular cancer is really a young man's illness.

It's not something that you should be concerned...

Now I want it!

Come on. Can't we just have fun like we used to have?

I'm having fun. I'm having a different kind of fun.

I'm having fun with my family, throwing parties for the kids.

Throwing work parties for Charlie. I have...

Fun has changed for me. It has evolved into something else.

Your fun has evolved into something called "not fun."

That's what your fun is.

Look, when do you... That's all for other people.

When do you get to have fun?

It's very rewarding watching the people you love have fun.

- That is not true. - It felt... I felt that as I said it.

It felt very pathetic. That's your reward?

- We won't go to the strip club. - Okay.

- Just don't go home. - Okay.

- Please hang out, okay? - All right. Well...

What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do for fun?

I have one idea.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah! - Whoo!

Whoo!

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's back. - She's back. She's back.

She's back. She's back.

She's back. She's back.

- Oh, robot's back. - She is back.

- Hit your robot. - She is back.

Yo, did they...

Yo, did they have CK back in the day?

- What's CK? - Cocaine and ketamine.

Well, mostly ketamine with a little bump of cocaine

- to make it fun for parties. - Oh, God, dude.

What? What... What's ketamine? I don't know what that is.

You do know what it is. Special K. All the rave kids did it in college.

- What? I didn't sign up to do a rave drug. - Yeah. I know.

Chill out. Take it easy.

You know, the cocaine is way more intense than the Special K.

Yeah, the K is nothing. It's just, like, a mild horse tranquilizer.

It's a horse tranquilizer?

- Sylvia, damn! - Chill out!

- No, it's okay. - What?

If this is for horses, does that mean that they snort it too?

- If it's laced with carrots. - That's funny.

We gotta get it outta me. I'm much smaller than a horse.

They use it on small animals too.

I had a gerbil that was prescribed it.

I gotta pump my stomach. Take me to the hospital?

Take me to the hospital! They can pump my stomach.

No. No.

- No! Stop it! Don't do that. - Sylvia, relax.

It can't... It doesn't work like that. It's already in the brain.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

It's the police. It's the police.

- Shut up. Shut up. - It's the police.

Hi, guys.

- Oh, my God. Fuck, man. - Fucking Omar.

What are y'all up to in here?

- Omar, close the door, motherfucker. - Go away.

- Am I'm gonna die? - You're not gonna die.

- Am I'm gonna get arrested? - You're not gonna get arrested.

Want me to take you home?

No. I don't wanna go home to the kids and Charlie on ketamine.

Honestly, we don't even know what's gonna happen.

It really affects everyone very differently.

Some people, it hits really hard. Other people, they barely feel it.

Mm-hmm.

- Oh. - Oh.

There she goes.

Well, okay. Uh...

I think she feels it.

I know I look relaxed. Well, I'm not relaxed at all.

Shame on you.

I'm very angry.

Hmm.

Livid at you.

- We should get her outta here. - I'm not happy about this.

No, you don't seem happy.

You look it.

We should keep her moving.

Not a good situation.

Nope. Let's, um...

Very angry.

- All right. No. - No?

- Can't believe this. - Yep.

- I'm furious about this situation. - S... Yep.

- I'm good. I'm fine. - Yeah, yeah. You're good.

Oh. Sylvia. Sylvia. Hey.

I meant to ask you, are you gonna sign Maeve up for peewee soccer?

What?

Are you gonna sign the girls for... for peewee soccer?

- Yes. - Yes.

Great. Great.

Which day are you thinking? Mondays or Wednesdays?

Hmm. Yes.

Okay. I kno...

Oh! Oh, my God.

- Sorry. Oh, dear. - Wednesdays. That means Wednesdays.

- All right. Are you okay? - Yep.

- She's okay. - We'll clean this up for you.

- We'll get you a little Gatorade. - Get home safe.

You're doing great. There we go.

- You're crushing it. - Hmm.

- Hanging a left. Hanging a left. - Mmm.

- On the straightaway. Get you some water. - Hmm.

- Some what? - Some water.

- Wine? - No. Water.

- We like wine. - I know we like wine.

- Ooh, ramen. - Yo, Sylvia's a rager.

Hey, I don't wanna hear a fucking word out of you.

- This whole thing is your fault. - You asked for drugs.

And then I brought drugs because you

asked for drugs and this is my fault?

If you present someone with a little baggie of white powder

and it is not cocaine, it is on you to disclose that, okay?

That's drug etiquette. This is your fault.

"Oh, white powder. It must be cocaine.

I'm Will, and I'm a stockbroker from the 1980s."

You coming to the booty club with me or not?

- No. - Bro, let's go.

It's operation booty club.

- Dude, let's go. Let's get. - Booty time.

- Come on, booty time! - Booty time.

Sylvia.

Oh, God! What are you doing? What happened?

Just... Let's go. Come on.

I got it. I got the wine. Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, no. Okay.

- Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. - What the fuck?

Oh, be careful.

Uh, this woman ha-has epilepsy. Everything's fine. She's fine.

Her vitamins are in the car. I'm gonna get her out.

I'm calling the cops.

She is a lawyer, and she will sue you

for discrimination against epileptics.

Oh, yeah, right. She's a lawyer.

She's a very brilliant lawyer, okay?

Get her out!

Okay. We're good.

You have a lovely shop.

Mm-hmm.

Hey. There she is.

Oh, what... How long have I been asleep?

Couple of hours.

I can't believe that we used to, like, take drugs all the time

and then get up in the morning and take more drugs.

We were... You know, we were something.

- We were strong. - We were legendary.

Oh, my God.

Look, I'm really sorry.

You know, you... You're a normal, functional adult, my friend.

I'm a stunted loser with stunted loser friends

who do stunted loser things.

- You know? - Please.

You want to hear something... really stunted?

I would love to if it makes me feel better. Yes.

- It will. - Great.

Charlie had to set up a job interview for me

because I couldn't figure out how to get one by myself.

That's pretty good. Feeling better.

It's pathetic.

That's not even the worst part. You know what is?

Is that... I'm so insecure and have such low self-esteem

that I can't even place the call. I literally can't place the call.

I can't even help myself crawl out of this hole I'm in.

If you can crawl out of a K-hole, you can crawl out of any hole.

Mahatma Gandhi said that on his deathbed...

and they were like, "Really? Those are your last words?"

And he was like, "Don't worry.

This will, uh... You'll be glad I said this."

He was very smart.

He was a smart guy.

I'm just so terrified of making a decision and revealing

what a loser I am.

You are not a loser, okay?

No, not at all. You threw an amazing divorce party.

- Oh, shut up. - You did. I had such a good time.

I liked cleaning up after you.

Convincing that lady not to press charges.

- So scary. Very hostile. - She took that very personally.

But, you know, I didn't think of, uh,

my ex-wife for four or five hours.

I can't even remember the last time that happened.

So, I guess this is me just trying to say thank you.

Aw. No worries, buddy. No worries.

You know what? Fuck it.

I'm so sick of Charlie just harassing me, and it's time to move on.

What are you doing? Are you doing it?

Are you... Are you calling the lawyer?

Yeah. I'm just gonna get it done. He should be lucky to hear from me.

- I was top of my class at law school. - It's two o'clock in the morning right now.

- Hello. - Oh, no.

- Hello? - What am I doing? What?

- Why are you doing it? Did it go through? - I didn't think about that. Oh, my God.

- He's calling me back. - He's calling you back?

Get rid of it. Get rid of it. What do you do? What do you do?

- Oh, no. Oh, no. - Oh, fuck. Oh, no.

- It went to voice mail. - Okay.

- No message. - Okay.

He's calling again.

- He's calling again. Oh, no. - I can hear it.

Oh, no.

This guy wants to know who called him at 2:00 in the morning.

You're gonna have to get a new phone number.

- Oh, my God. - You can't call him from this phone again.

I have to change my number.

But he's calling back.

That means that he's very interested in, uh, whoever called him...

which I would take as a good thing.

Seriously though, thank you for tonight.

I can't even remember that much of it.

- I can. I got pictures. - Oh.

- Look at this. Look at us here. - That's a terrible photo of me.

- No, it's a great photo. - Can you delete that?

- It's already been posted. - That's terrible.

- Do I look really good right now? - You look very good.

- Right? Pretty. Together. - You look incredible. You... You don't...

You don't look like you've been, uh, in a tornado.

Having the time of your life.

Wow.

Cheers.

To the future.

- To the future. - Need oil.

_

Hey, I had fun the other night.

Let me know if I can, uh, take you out to dinner sometime.

Yeah. Dinner is one of my favorite meals.

Uh...

Are you surprised I responded at this hour?

No. No. Not at all.

Uh, 'cause you were probably waiting up for my message.

Are you surprised I got in touch?

No, because I'm great.

I'm surprised you know how to operate social media.

Well, I am full of surprises.

I fully doubt that.

- Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com -