Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,214 --> 00:00:05,836
Hey, baby,
you like my skirt?
2
00:00:05,836 --> 00:00:08,008
Ooh, I love it!
It is you!
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,970
The color is just fabulous.
4
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:11,472
Oh, you like
the color?
Yeah.
5
00:00:11,472 --> 00:00:13,013
Red looks good on me.
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,556
Yes, it does.
Ha!
7
00:00:15,556 --> 00:00:17,688
I'm not even wearing red,
michael!
8
00:00:17,688 --> 00:00:19,600
Come on,
you didn't even look.
9
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,193
I don't have to,
and I'm gonna tell you why.
10
00:00:22,193 --> 00:00:25,446
Because you are so beautiful
that anything you put on
11
00:00:25,446 --> 00:00:28,149
Is magically transformed
into a work of art.
12
00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:30,241
Oh, stop it.
You don't care!
13
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,992
I do care.
Ow, that hurt.
14
00:00:31,992 --> 00:00:33,154
I care deeply.
15
00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:34,205
Liar!
16
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:38,209
Hey, look who's here.
17
00:00:38,209 --> 00:00:40,040
Rachel,
how are you doing?
18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,832
You don't care!
19
00:00:41,832 --> 00:00:44,625
Of course I care, sweetie.
20
00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,217
Don't patronize me!
21
00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:49,170
No, I really do care.
I want to know what's going on.
22
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:51,722
My grandmother's sick.
Do want to hear about that?!
23
00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:56,807
Well, i-i don't want you to have
to talk about difficult things.
24
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,269
See, told you you didn't care.
25
00:00:58,269 --> 00:01:00,601
But of course I do, sugar.
26
00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,943
Sugar?!
There's nothing sweet about me!
27
00:01:02,943 --> 00:01:04,685
You're just a phony!
28
00:01:04,685 --> 00:01:07,238
I'm not a phony.
Look, I'm being very sincere.
29
00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:09,450
This is my sincere face.
30
00:01:10,781 --> 00:01:15,996
Now, go ahead and tell me
about your dear, sick granny.
31
00:01:15,996 --> 00:01:17,158
She's got the flu.
32
00:01:17,158 --> 00:01:19,620
Mnh, mnh, mnh.
33
00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:23,003
Well, that's not so bad.
34
00:01:23,003 --> 00:01:25,756
It is when you've already got
emphysema, osteoporosis,
35
00:01:25,756 --> 00:01:27,168
And a broken hip!
36
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,632
One sneeze and she could
blow herself apart!
37
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:34,135
You're right.
There's nothing sweet about you.
38
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:35,386
Told ya.
39
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:37,348
Hey, you guys,
what you up to?
40
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:39,270
We're going to my room
to play dolls.
41
00:01:39,270 --> 00:01:42,102
Have fun, and when franklin
comes, I'll send him right up.
42
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,145
Don't.
Today I'm playing with rachel.
43
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,227
Okay.
Hi, rachel.
44
00:01:46,227 --> 00:01:48,189
All right.
45
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,691
Hi, guys.
Bye, guys.
46
00:01:50,691 --> 00:01:52,443
Hey, hey,
where you off to?
47
00:01:52,443 --> 00:01:54,285
[ Sighs ]
you don't care!
48
00:01:54,285 --> 00:01:56,197
What is wrong with the women
in this house?
49
00:01:56,197 --> 00:01:57,538
Of course I care!
50
00:01:57,538 --> 00:01:59,200
Now, tell me
where you're going.
51
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,332
The mall.
I don't care about that.
52
00:02:01,332 --> 00:02:02,873
Michael!
53
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,665
You gonna hang out
with some friends?
54
00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:07,087
This agency's having
a modeling search there,
55
00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:08,669
And I thought
I'd go audition.
56
00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:09,920
Ah...
57
00:02:14,715 --> 00:02:16,096
No.
58
00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:18,679
Why are you
"ah, no'ing" me?
59
00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:21,852
Because I'm not letting you go
to some modeling competition.
60
00:02:21,852 --> 00:02:24,185
Why?!
Those agencies
don't care about you.
61
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,976
They look at you
as a piece of meat.
62
00:02:25,976 --> 00:02:28,229
As long as you live in my house,
you can't do it.
63
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,150
But you look very nice
in that outfit.
64
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,534
Argh!
Michael, michael,
michael, michael.
65
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:34,695
What?
66
00:02:34,695 --> 00:02:36,777
Michael, why do you treat her
like that?
67
00:02:36,777 --> 00:02:38,369
Because I care.
68
00:02:38,369 --> 00:02:40,371
Sweetie, she is almost --
69
00:02:40,371 --> 00:02:42,162
Don't patronize me.
70
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,546
What are you talking about,
sugar?
71
00:02:45,546 --> 00:02:48,749
Look, she is almost an adult,
michael.
72
00:02:48,749 --> 00:02:51,922
It's time for her
to start making decisions
about her future.
73
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,594
And besides,
she is very pretty.
74
00:02:53,594 --> 00:02:57,007
I know.
She gets it from me, duh!
75
00:02:57,007 --> 00:02:59,800
Modeling might be
a great career for her.
76
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,803
Jay, it's
a seductive lifestyle, okay?
77
00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:05,356
The girl is not smart enough
to handle the temptation
78
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:07,268
That comes with it --
she's naive.
79
00:03:07,268 --> 00:03:10,070
I have faith in her,
and I say she should go.
80
00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:12,112
Well, I say she shouldn't.
I forbid it...
81
00:03:12,112 --> 00:03:13,274
Sugar.
82
00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:15,195
Ugh!
83
00:03:17,908 --> 00:03:20,321
Mmm! Mmm!
84
00:03:20,321 --> 00:03:23,203
Whoa, that looks good!
What is it?
85
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,246
My sandwich.
So where's mine?
86
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,458
You know what?
It's scattered all around.
87
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,920
The bread is here.
Lunch meat is in the fridge.
88
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,294
Pickles on the counter.
Silverware in the drawer.
Knock yourself out.
89
00:03:33,294 --> 00:03:35,095
I got to make it myself?
90
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:36,717
Yep!
91
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,469
So this is
about claire, fine.
92
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,761
You know what?
I'll make it myself, jay.
93
00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:43,304
This is gonna be
the best sandwich ever made
94
00:03:43,304 --> 00:03:44,725
In the history of sandwiches.
95
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,268
You're gonna be jealous of it.
You know why?
96
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,610
Because poets will write odes
to my sandwich.
97
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:52,273
"Salami or bologna,
98
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,814
That is the question."
99
00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:57,157
Italians will write operas
about this sandwich.
100
00:03:57,157 --> 00:03:58,409
♪ He's got a sandwich ♪
101
00:03:58,409 --> 00:04:00,411
♪ What's that?
A sandwich ♪
102
00:04:00,411 --> 00:04:02,032
♪ Oh, oh,
s-a-andwich! ♪
103
00:04:02,032 --> 00:04:05,366
There's gonna be fireworks
and a movie deal.
104
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:08,208
Sidney poitier is gonna play me
as a lunch meat.
105
00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:10,291
Hi, dad.
What do you want?
106
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,833
You don't care!
You're right.
107
00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,255
I'm gonna make you care because
I know something
108
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,468
That you'd want to know,
but you don't know.
109
00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:19,380
Now do you care?
No.
110
00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:21,932
Well, what if I told you
that a certain someone
111
00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:25,145
Was going to a certain someplace
to do a certain something
112
00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:26,597
That another certain someone
113
00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:29,350
Forbade the first certain
someone from doing, huh?
114
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:31,231
You mean claire's going
to the mall
115
00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:33,484
Despite the fact
that I forbid her not to go?
116
00:04:33,484 --> 00:04:35,446
Wow, that's creepy, dad!
117
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:38,489
You got that "beautiful mind"
thing working right now.
118
00:04:38,489 --> 00:04:39,820
Hmm, what?
119
00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:41,161
Ow!
120
00:04:44,495 --> 00:04:46,907
Michael, michael, michael,
where are you going?!
121
00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:49,169
To the mall to drag that girl
back here.
122
00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:51,171
Michael, don't get
too crazy about this.
123
00:04:51,171 --> 00:04:54,415
I'm not getting too crazy.
I'm getting crazy enough.
124
00:04:54,415 --> 00:04:56,377
[ Sighs ]
125
00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:03,344
[ French accent ]
okay, number 1,726, please.
126
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:07,017
Yes, show me your walk.
127
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:08,729
Enough, enough.
128
00:05:08,729 --> 00:05:10,351
No.
Very nice walk.
129
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:13,734
Now take it out of the building,
all the way to your car.
130
00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:15,526
Go on.
131
00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:19,650
Okay, number 1,727, please.
132
00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,782
That's me! That's me!
That's me! That's me!
133
00:05:21,782 --> 00:05:23,744
Okay, me, now, calm down.
134
00:05:23,744 --> 00:05:25,496
Your age?
17.
135
00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:27,708
Your best years
are behind you.
136
00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:30,791
Okay, now, do you eat?
Of course.
137
00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:32,373
You're going to have
to stop that.
138
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,716
Do you drink?
Do you smoke?
No!
139
00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:37,548
You're going to have
to start that.
140
00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:38,759
[ Laughs ]
141
00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:40,511
So, now, show me your walk.
142
00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:41,882
Okay.
143
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:50,100
Oy!
[ Laughs ]
144
00:05:52,272 --> 00:05:54,525
Ohh!
Ohh!
145
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,482
Hey, what do you think,
you're a floor model?
146
00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:04,364
Daddy, I can't believe
you actually came here!
147
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,448
Yeah, I was thinking the same
thing about you, claire.
148
00:06:07,448 --> 00:06:08,909
Is this your father?
149
00:06:08,909 --> 00:06:10,621
Unfortunately.
150
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,663
I'm vaneska.
Nice to meet you.
151
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,205
I was just auditioning
your daughter.
152
00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:17,588
Look, I know your angle,
miss one-name, okay?
153
00:06:17,588 --> 00:06:18,759
You fill these kids' heads
154
00:06:18,759 --> 00:06:21,592
With promises of fame and glory
because they're naive,
155
00:06:21,592 --> 00:06:24,264
And they don't know that
they're being duped by a sham.
156
00:06:24,264 --> 00:06:26,677
You have beautiful hands.
157
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,098
Hey, you know what?
158
00:06:28,098 --> 00:06:30,350
Don't change the subject
because I know --
159
00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:31,432
Really?
160
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,813
May i?
161
00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:34,224
Sure.
162
00:06:34,224 --> 00:06:35,896
[ Gasps ]
oh, oh!
163
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,478
Look at the knuckles.
Oh!
164
00:06:37,478 --> 00:06:39,399
Comes across, five of them.
Oh!
165
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,281
Your hands are perfect!
166
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,944
Oh, come on,
I don't know about perfect.
167
00:06:43,944 --> 00:06:47,488
I mean, they're nice,
certainly for a guy especially.
168
00:06:47,488 --> 00:06:50,491
But, I mean, perfect?
That's a powerful word.
169
00:06:50,491 --> 00:06:53,534
I only use that to describe the
aerodynamic shape of my head.
170
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:54,915
[ Both laugh ]
171
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,707
I mean,
I do take care of them,
172
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,919
Lots of lotions
and creams and such.
173
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,751
I can tell.
I can tell.
174
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:04,344
Listen, have you ever considered
being a hand model?
175
00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:05,966
A and what model?
176
00:07:05,966 --> 00:07:07,347
A hand model,
177
00:07:07,347 --> 00:07:10,140
A model that exclusively
features their hands.
178
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,052
No, come on!
Yeah!
179
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:15,105
You know that presenting
products in advertisement
180
00:07:15,105 --> 00:07:16,607
Can be very lucrative.
181
00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,559
Well,
I never thought of that,
182
00:07:18,559 --> 00:07:21,942
Although presenting things
comes quite natural for me.
183
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,363
[ Both laugh ]
184
00:07:23,363 --> 00:07:24,735
Look at you!
185
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:28,489
You know, you hold that can
just like a professional.
186
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,330
Oh, stop it.
187
00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:32,623
Hello.
I'm standing here.
188
00:07:32,623 --> 00:07:34,374
Talk to the hand.
189
00:07:34,374 --> 00:07:36,667
You know,
190
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,540
I think that I can get work
for you right away.
191
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,380
Me?!
192
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:43,003
No, your father.
No, your father.
193
00:07:44,585 --> 00:07:49,510
I'm going to call you
because you are so natural.
194
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:51,301
Why, thank you!
You do that.
195
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:52,643
See that one?
196
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:55,145
It's so beautiful, really,
the way you do things.
197
00:07:55,145 --> 00:07:56,517
Graceful!
198
00:08:01,692 --> 00:08:03,313
Wait, so let me
understand this.
199
00:08:03,313 --> 00:08:04,985
You get to model,
and I don't?
200
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:05,946
That's right.
201
00:08:05,946 --> 00:08:07,447
Why?!
202
00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:10,821
Because I didn't disobey
my father.
203
00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:12,663
Now, let's go home.
204
00:08:12,663 --> 00:08:15,075
That way.
Argh!
205
00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:21,381
Watch out.
Hands coming through.
206
00:08:21,381 --> 00:08:23,123
Nice.
Whoop, there you go.
207
00:08:23,123 --> 00:08:24,715
Whoop, there you go.
208
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,550
It's bewildering.
209
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,012
Kady acts
as if I don't exist.
210
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:35,265
All she wants to do is
spend her days with "rachel."
211
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,768
Sometimes women just like
to congregate together
212
00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,099
And just talk.
213
00:08:39,099 --> 00:08:40,941
About what?
About nothing.
214
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:43,193
But they talk about nothing
from every angle.
215
00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:45,816
Do they ever realize
that it's nothing?
216
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:46,947
Nope.
217
00:08:46,947 --> 00:08:49,069
Look, let me tell you
about women.
218
00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:50,280
I'm all ears.
219
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,452
Oh, don't say that
about yourself.
220
00:08:52,452 --> 00:08:55,285
True, they are a little big,
but you're not all ears.
221
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,918
Thanks, junior,
and you're not all head.
222
00:08:57,918 --> 00:08:59,419
Really?!
223
00:08:59,419 --> 00:09:00,621
Yes, you are.
224
00:09:00,621 --> 00:09:03,333
Now, as you were saying?
225
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:04,424
As I was saying,
226
00:09:04,424 --> 00:09:06,717
Sometimes women like
to be around other women
227
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,589
So they can all be sensitive
together.
228
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:09,970
Interesting.
229
00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:12,843
Like a blind man in the desert
stumbling upon a water hole,
230
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,095
You seem to have stumbled
across a good point
231
00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:17,017
In the barren
wasteland you call a mind.
232
00:09:17,017 --> 00:09:18,849
Thank you.
233
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:21,311
Perhaps I should get
more in touch
234
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,683
With my feminine side.
235
00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:24,985
Hmm...
Hmm...
236
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,448
Hey, you two.
237
00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:29,449
How'd it go?
238
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:30,741
Argh!
239
00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:31,822
Uh-oh.
240
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:32,993
What did you do?
241
00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:34,494
I didn't do nothing.
242
00:09:34,494 --> 00:09:35,906
I walked into the mall,
243
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:37,828
And I had models,
scouts all over me, jay.
244
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:41,541
Michael, see, I told you
claire is a beautiful girl!
245
00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:44,464
Claire?
Plain, old claire?
246
00:09:44,464 --> 00:09:45,706
I'm sorry.
News flash --
247
00:09:45,706 --> 00:09:48,629
Claire is not the beauty
in this family.
248
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,672
These are the beauties
in the family, jay.
249
00:09:51,672 --> 00:09:53,423
What are you
talking about?
250
00:09:53,423 --> 00:09:55,555
Come on, look at them, jay.
251
00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:56,767
You know these hands.
252
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,809
They've touched you before,
253
00:09:58,809 --> 00:10:01,561
But have you ever really took
the time to notice them, huh?
254
00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:04,184
Feel the perfect palm, huh?
[ Laughs ]
255
00:10:04,184 --> 00:10:06,106
Look at the dexterity
of the digits.
256
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,779
These are fabulous fingers.
Stop!
257
00:10:08,779 --> 00:10:09,990
[ Laughs ]
258
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:11,571
Don't touch the hand.
259
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:13,734
She doesn't know.
She don't know.
260
00:10:13,734 --> 00:10:15,535
What are you --
261
00:10:15,535 --> 00:10:17,497
These hands are my doorway
to riches --
262
00:10:17,497 --> 00:10:19,539
Watch the hands --
263
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:22,292
And fame.
264
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:24,584
Can you please get
to the point?
265
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:27,547
The point,
which she also liked,
266
00:10:27,547 --> 00:10:28,749
Is simple.
267
00:10:28,749 --> 00:10:30,460
Your husband,
michael richard kyle,
268
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,802
Is going to be a hand model.
269
00:10:31,802 --> 00:10:34,014
I just got a call from my agent
on my way here.
270
00:10:34,014 --> 00:10:35,966
I shoot my first commercial
next week.
271
00:10:35,966 --> 00:10:37,467
[ Laughs ]
isn't that great?!
272
00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:38,889
Oh, that's great, honey.
273
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,140
[ Laughing ]
274
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:49,569
Dad, could you pass
the potatoes, please?
275
00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:52,362
Are you trying to sabotage
my hands?
276
00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:54,364
No, I'm trying
to eat potatoes.
277
00:10:54,364 --> 00:10:55,535
You can get them yourself
278
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:57,698
With those ugly
monkey paws of yours.
279
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,039
Hey, is that a blister?
280
00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:00,410
Where?!
Right there!
281
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,202
Ha! Got ya!
282
00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:03,583
No, your hand!
283
00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,665
You're right.
Kady, will you help your daddy?
284
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,877
Ow!
Thank you.
285
00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:09,129
That's not fair!
286
00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:10,460
I think your hands are ugly.
287
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:13,503
That's because you're a silly,
little girl with no taste.
288
00:11:13,503 --> 00:11:15,846
I'll have you know these hands
are soon to be seen
289
00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:17,467
On advertisements
around the world.
290
00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:20,100
Well, I hope
you're modeling gloves
291
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,142
Because those hands are creepy.
292
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:23,473
Why don't you go home and see
293
00:11:23,473 --> 00:11:25,726
If your grandma sneezed
and blew her hip off?
294
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,438
You're a mean man.
295
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:32,482
And you're a hand hater.
296
00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:33,814
Kady, I'll be upstairs.
297
00:11:33,814 --> 00:11:36,116
It's that way.
298
00:11:36,116 --> 00:11:38,488
I hate this!
You're such a hypocrite!
299
00:11:38,488 --> 00:11:39,950
Don't be jealous, okay?
300
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,162
Jealousy is not
an attractive emotion.
301
00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:43,373
Argh!
302
00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:47,087
What's wrong with her?
303
00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:51,922
Michael, of all the absurd
things that you have ever done,
304
00:11:51,922 --> 00:11:53,543
This has got to be
the dumbest!
305
00:11:53,543 --> 00:11:55,045
Dumb?
306
00:11:55,045 --> 00:11:57,137
I'm about to shoot
my first commercial.
307
00:11:57,137 --> 00:11:59,259
This can be big things
for us --
308
00:11:59,259 --> 00:12:01,551
A house on the beach,
private jets.
309
00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,473
The sky...is the limit.
310
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,265
Michael!
311
00:12:07,687 --> 00:12:11,151
Being a hand model doesn't pay
enough to buy a private jet!
312
00:12:11,151 --> 00:12:13,984
Tell that to the thing
on "the addams family."
313
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:17,737
He's got three homes
and a boat just for doing this.
314
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,569
I mean, besides,
315
00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:22,122
These hands are just
a gateway...
316
00:12:22,122 --> 00:12:24,074
To this!
317
00:12:24,074 --> 00:12:25,826
Once they get a look
at this kisser,
318
00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:27,998
They're gonna want
the rest of the package.
319
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,329
Come on.
Support me.
320
00:12:29,329 --> 00:12:30,710
Cut my meat for me.
321
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:32,632
Cut your own meat!
322
00:12:32,632 --> 00:12:35,585
You're just jealous because
I have perfectly formed hands,
323
00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:38,378
And you got stuck
with those five little sausages
324
00:12:38,378 --> 00:12:39,759
On a piece of ham.
325
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,642
You know what?
What?
326
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:44,384
You keep it up here,
327
00:12:44,384 --> 00:12:48,308
And you're gonna get to know
your fingers really well!
328
00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:56,106
Thanks for playing
with me today, kady.
329
00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:57,948
No problem.
Rachel was busy.
330
00:12:57,948 --> 00:13:00,610
Ah, rachel,
should we talk about her?
331
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,072
I don't think so.
332
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,204
Would you like
to watch soap operas
333
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:06,496
Or perhaps
this olsen twins movie I got?
334
00:13:06,496 --> 00:13:07,868
Not really.
335
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:10,710
Then how about we just thumb
through this bride's magazine
336
00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:12,752
Till we cry?
337
00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:14,084
No.
338
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,546
Oh, look, oprah's on,
339
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,418
And I think she has
barbra streisand!
340
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:21,091
You know how I love me
some babs!
341
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:24,384
♪ Papa ♪
342
00:13:24,384 --> 00:13:25,685
Forget oprah.
343
00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:27,097
Let's just color.
344
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,268
Excellent.
345
00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:31,021
Let's color rainbows
and butterflies and unicorns
346
00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:33,233
And then talk
about how much we like horses
347
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:35,355
And who's
the cutest member of 'nsync.
348
00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:37,277
Franklin, are you gay?
349
00:13:37,277 --> 00:13:38,528
Of course not!
350
00:13:38,528 --> 00:13:40,240
I'm all man,
through and through!
351
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,282
Then why are you acting
like a girl?
352
00:13:42,282 --> 00:13:45,705
Because I'm trying to get more
in touch with my feminine side,
353
00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:47,287
So I don't lose you
to rachel.
354
00:13:47,287 --> 00:13:49,159
You're not gonna lose me
to rachel.
355
00:13:49,159 --> 00:13:50,951
I just like spending
some time with her
356
00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:52,212
And some with you.
357
00:13:52,212 --> 00:13:54,124
Well, lately
it seems to be lopsided.
358
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,957
I think rachel's plotting
to take you away from me.
359
00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:58,418
If you have a problem
with her,
360
00:13:58,418 --> 00:14:00,260
Why don't you
take it up with her?
361
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:03,173
An excellent suggestion.
362
00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:05,305
Indeed I will.
363
00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:08,348
[ Laughs evilly ]
364
00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:12,852
Man:
just step over here.
365
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,184
Over here?
Great.
366
00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:16,236
Then what you do
is you extend your hands
367
00:14:16,236 --> 00:14:18,278
In front of the black velvet
like this, okay?
368
00:14:18,278 --> 00:14:21,321
Then you turn them over once
or twice after I say action.
369
00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:22,442
Simple.
Excellent.
370
00:14:22,442 --> 00:14:25,115
Easy as pie.
Okay, great.
371
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,286
And --
372
00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:28,698
Could I have a second
just to get into character?
373
00:14:28,698 --> 00:14:31,371
Sure.
Thank you.
374
00:14:36,046 --> 00:14:38,338
Aah!
375
00:14:38,338 --> 00:14:40,260
Okay, the hands
are ready now, sir.
376
00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:41,551
Excellent.
377
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:43,213
And action!
378
00:14:43,213 --> 00:14:45,805
Shh!
379
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:48,718
Shh...ha!
380
00:14:48,718 --> 00:14:52,562
Shh...ha!
381
00:14:52,562 --> 00:14:54,224
Shh! Shh!
382
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:55,855
Shh! Shh!
383
00:14:58,608 --> 00:14:59,609
Cut!
384
00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:01,231
How was that?
385
00:15:01,231 --> 00:15:02,862
Well, you, uh,
386
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:05,525
You inadvertently let you head
drop into the frame.
387
00:15:05,525 --> 00:15:06,826
Oh, you saw that?
388
00:15:06,826 --> 00:15:08,198
Yeah, we did, okay?
389
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:10,160
We just need the hands.
Let's try again.
390
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,082
I can do that.
Great.
391
00:15:13,743 --> 00:15:15,375
And --
392
00:15:23,593 --> 00:15:25,635
Okay, the hands
are ready, sir.
393
00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:28,218
All good?
They're all warmed up.
394
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:29,849
And action!
395
00:15:29,849 --> 00:15:33,353
[ Imitating bombs dropping ]
396
00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:41,401
Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle.
397
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:43,443
[ Whistles ]
398
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:46,826
Cut!
399
00:15:46,826 --> 00:15:48,528
Cut, mr. Kyle.
400
00:15:48,528 --> 00:15:49,869
Mr. Kyle?
401
00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:52,282
Yes, mr. Spielberg.
402
00:15:52,282 --> 00:15:55,125
That's a little j-- oops!
403
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,496
Uh, couldn't help but notice
404
00:15:56,496 --> 00:15:58,628
That we saw the face again,
remember?
405
00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:00,290
I just need to see the hands.
406
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,841
I'm throwing
the face in for free.
407
00:16:01,841 --> 00:16:03,633
We'll pay you extra
to keep it out.
408
00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:07,467
Well, i-i-i thought maybe
the public, you know,
409
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,510
The fans are gonna want to know
the man behind the hands,
410
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:13,143
So I figured I'd just throw
that in there free.
411
00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,685
Okay, you want to put your face
in the shot?
412
00:16:15,685 --> 00:16:17,357
I'd love to.
You would?
413
00:16:17,357 --> 00:16:20,690
Then put your face in the shot
as much as you like.
414
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:23,313
Now that's a director.
Spoken like a true director!
415
00:16:23,313 --> 00:16:24,654
Excellent, thank you!
416
00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:27,947
John landis has nothing
on you, man!
417
00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:29,949
Good.
418
00:16:29,949 --> 00:16:31,531
And action!
419
00:16:31,531 --> 00:16:33,953
[ Imitating wind blowing ]
420
00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:46,126
Put the feet in there, too.
421
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,183
You wanted to see me,
schroeder?
422
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:56,226
Oh, a hilarious spin on my
penchant for piano playing
423
00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:58,308
By comparing me
to a fictional character
424
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,849
In the "peanuts" universe.
425
00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:02,021
Boy, I never grow tired
of that one.
426
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,563
What do you want?
427
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:06,146
Well, it seems
that you and I find ourselves
428
00:17:06,146 --> 00:17:07,527
Vying for kady's attention,
429
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,909
So I thought we'd meet
on neutral ground
430
00:17:09,909 --> 00:17:12,412
And see if we can't find
an equitable solution.
431
00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:14,324
Look, kady and I
are friends.
432
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:17,207
I can't help it
if she'd rather hang out with me
433
00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:19,499
Than a piano-playing geek
like you!
434
00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:22,422
She only hangs out with you
because you're available!
435
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,756
Now, how much would it take
for you to become,
436
00:17:26,756 --> 00:17:29,129
Shall we say...
437
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:31,511
Unavailable?
438
00:17:31,511 --> 00:17:33,093
Are you trying to bribe me?
439
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,344
Ew, ew!
440
00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:35,885
"Bribe" is such an ugly word.
441
00:17:35,885 --> 00:17:40,520
I prefer to use the term
"incentivise."
442
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,891
Well, it's not gonna work.
443
00:17:41,891 --> 00:17:43,233
Kady is my best friend,
444
00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:46,065
And no amount of money
in this world will change that.
445
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,777
Oh, really?
446
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,070
Inside this piggy bank,
447
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,323
You'll find stock certificates
for a company
448
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:56,496
That in one week will announce
that they have patented a device
449
00:17:56,496 --> 00:17:59,539
That can power automobiles
using water instead of gasoline.
450
00:17:59,539 --> 00:18:02,792
When that occurs, you'll be able
to retire by the age of nine,
451
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:05,165
And all you have to do is
stay away from kady.
452
00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:06,966
Done!
453
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:13,553
I don't know, vaneska.
454
00:18:13,553 --> 00:18:15,555
I don't know
if I'm gonna let you handle
455
00:18:15,555 --> 00:18:17,517
The right hand just yet.
456
00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:20,059
Yeah, I want to see what you do
with the lefty first.
457
00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:21,481
All right, dear.
458
00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:23,062
Yes, yes.
Ciao.
459
00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:27,687
Michael, who was that?
460
00:18:27,687 --> 00:18:29,729
That was vaneska,
my left-hand model agent.
461
00:18:29,729 --> 00:18:31,321
You got to play hardball
462
00:18:31,321 --> 00:18:33,403
If you're gonna get
the best jobs.
463
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,784
I have to go in the kitchen
464
00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:37,787
And put a little more milk
in my gloves.
465
00:18:37,787 --> 00:18:40,790
Call me
when my commercial comes on.
466
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:43,002
Who are you
talking to?
467
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,004
Oh, look,
mr. Kyle's commercial!
468
00:18:45,004 --> 00:18:46,706
[ Gasps ]
469
00:18:46,706 --> 00:18:48,838
It's on?!
Turn up the sound!
470
00:18:48,838 --> 00:18:50,750
Turn up the sound!
It's on!
471
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:54,844
Man on television:
do you have girly hands?
Because this man does.
472
00:18:54,844 --> 00:18:56,966
Do women laugh at you
473
00:18:56,966 --> 00:19:00,350
Because of your
"fairy princess" hands?
474
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:03,973
Why continue to suffer
like this loser?
475
00:19:03,973 --> 00:19:05,185
Try "man hands."
476
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,856
It's the abrasive cream
477
00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:09,529
That gives you the calluses
of a full day's work
478
00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:10,940
Without the labor.
479
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,363
Why have hands like this pansy,
480
00:19:13,363 --> 00:19:16,866
When you can have hands
like a "mansy"?
481
00:19:16,866 --> 00:19:18,077
"Man hands"...
482
00:19:18,077 --> 00:19:20,830
Available wherever
manly products are sold.
483
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:24,244
Dad's got girly hands!
484
00:19:24,244 --> 00:19:27,287
T-t-this is an outrage!
I've been misrepresented!
485
00:19:27,287 --> 00:19:29,709
I've been hoodwinked
and bamboozled!
486
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:32,462
[ Sobbing ]
487
00:19:36,256 --> 00:19:38,758
Hey, how was your shower,
petunia?
488
00:19:38,758 --> 00:19:40,179
Oh, it was, you know --
489
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,352
Did you just call me
"petunia"?
490
00:19:42,352 --> 00:19:45,895
No, michael, I would never
say that, penelope.
491
00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:48,398
All right, you know what?
Laugh it up, jay!
492
00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:52,191
That's a good one!
493
00:19:54,524 --> 00:19:55,865
See how funny it is?
494
00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:57,196
Michael, I'm sorry.
495
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,988
Now, I know you're embarrassed,
496
00:19:58,988 --> 00:20:01,241
But actually I'm very glad
that this happened.
497
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,493
Why -- I was hard to deal with
as a hand model?
498
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:06,165
Look, you are a brilliant,
wonderful man --
499
00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:08,538
The love of my life.
I know.
500
00:20:08,538 --> 00:20:11,751
But you are not perfect,
michael richard kyle.
501
00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:14,173
You forget
that you make mistakes,
502
00:20:14,173 --> 00:20:16,336
And you gotta start letting
your children make them, too.
503
00:20:16,336 --> 00:20:18,338
This is about claire
and her modeling?
504
00:20:18,338 --> 00:20:20,009
I know your career...
505
00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:21,471
Didn't come off...
506
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,603
The way
that you would've liked it to.
507
00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:27,056
[ Laughs ]
but wait.
508
00:20:27,056 --> 00:20:30,850
You have no idea
what could happen to claire.
509
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,522
Yeah, and that's
what scares me.
510
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,654
I know that, baby,
and I love you for that.
511
00:20:34,654 --> 00:20:36,025
Believe me.
512
00:20:36,025 --> 00:20:38,117
But it's time to let claire
explore the things
513
00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:40,029
That she's interested in,
michael.
514
00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:42,822
You can't control her forever,
daddy.
515
00:20:42,822 --> 00:20:44,163
I guess you're right.
516
00:20:44,163 --> 00:20:48,167
Modeling might be the best thing
that ever happened to that girl.
517
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,039
You can't predict the future.
518
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:52,081
That's not true.
519
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:54,374
I can predict
where these little, girly hands
520
00:20:54,374 --> 00:20:56,296
Are gonna end up
in about two minutes.
521
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:57,717
Oh, really?
522
00:20:57,717 --> 00:21:00,840
Well, why don't you
whisper it to me?
523
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,514
Ooh, I guess you can predict
the future after all,
524
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:07,056
Bald-stradamus.
525
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:12,101
Careful.
Watch the dermis.
526
00:21:12,101 --> 00:21:13,563
Sorry, daddy.
527
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:14,774
Okay.
528
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,317
Mmm!
529
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:20,320
[ Chewing loudly ]
37163
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof