Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,084 --> 00:00:04,175
Jay, will you come on?
2
00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:06,837
Maxwell's not gonna hold
the concert for us.
3
00:00:06,837 --> 00:00:08,799
All right, all right,
I'm coming.
4
00:00:08,799 --> 00:00:09,890
I'm almost ready.
5
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,393
You're not even dressed?
What were you doing?
6
00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:14,635
I'm getting ready
to get ready, baby.
7
00:00:14,635 --> 00:00:15,636
It's a process.
8
00:00:15,636 --> 00:00:16,847
What's the process?
9
00:00:16,847 --> 00:00:19,940
Listen, first, I got to take
my shower,
10
00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:23,144
Put on my body butter,
let that marinate.
11
00:00:23,144 --> 00:00:26,197
Then I gotta do my makeup,
choose my hair,
12
00:00:26,197 --> 00:00:29,410
And that completes
the first phase, okay?
13
00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:31,912
Now, it takes time to be this
beautiful, baby.
14
00:00:31,912 --> 00:00:34,745
Well, I will settle for
just plain old gorgeous
15
00:00:34,745 --> 00:00:37,118
If it'll get us out of here
any quicker.
16
00:00:37,118 --> 00:00:37,998
Come on. Let's go.
17
00:00:37,998 --> 00:00:40,000
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
18
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,332
Which dress should I wear?
19
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:43,874
I like that one.
I could do things with this one.
20
00:00:43,874 --> 00:00:45,506
I could hike it up
in the back.
21
00:00:45,506 --> 00:00:46,507
Yeah, that's nice.
22
00:00:46,507 --> 00:00:48,048
Okay, good.
I'll be right back.
23
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,090
[ Sighs ]
24
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,091
Gosh!
25
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:53,844
[ Knock on door ]
26
00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:54,885
Who is it?
27
00:00:54,885 --> 00:00:56,097
Hello?! Hello?!
28
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,938
Hello, mr. Kyle.
29
00:00:57,938 --> 00:00:59,480
Hey! Frankinpants.
30
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:04,024
Is my beautiful lotus blossom
ready to be swept away
31
00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:05,986
For a captivating evening?
32
00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:07,988
Her chariot awaits her.
33
00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:11,242
Actually, it's just my dad
sitting in the car.
34
00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:12,323
[ Chuckling ]
35
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:15,156
So you ready for this
pajama-jama-ready?
36
00:01:15,156 --> 00:01:17,118
Yep, it's the anniversary
37
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,790
Of mozart beginning
"the requiem mass."
38
00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:21,081
Wow. Time flies.
39
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,504
I just took my decorations
down just a month ago.
40
00:01:23,504 --> 00:01:25,206
So, what are you gonna do
there?
41
00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:29,470
Well, first we're gonna play
"name that concerto."
42
00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:30,761
Oh, party.
43
00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:34,014
And then I was thinking
we'd play a round
44
00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:37,638
Of "what opera did that aria
come from?"
45
00:01:37,638 --> 00:01:39,850
Oh, you are the wild man.
46
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,932
Yeah, yeah.
[ Meows ]
47
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,438
And then I thought to wrap up
the evening,
48
00:01:47,438 --> 00:01:52,112
We'd play a crazy game
of "bach, bach, beethoven."
49
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,654
Sounds like a real shindig,
50
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:55,946
But we need to go over
the rules first.
51
00:01:55,946 --> 00:02:00,120
Ah, yes,
the famous kyle rules.
52
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,543
Let me recite them to you.
53
00:02:02,543 --> 00:02:07,087
In fact, I've taken the liberty
to put them to music.
54
00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:08,589
Oh, have you?
55
00:02:08,589 --> 00:02:11,011
♪ No staying up past 9:00 ♪
56
00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:13,133
♪ No touching her behind ♪
57
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,217
♪ No kissing in the dark ♪
58
00:02:17,848 --> 00:02:20,431
♪ No touching her behind ♪
59
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:21,722
Yeah.
60
00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:24,685
Kady, come on down.
Franklin's waiting on you.
61
00:02:24,685 --> 00:02:25,896
Do you need help?
62
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,478
No, I've got it.
Whoa!
63
00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:28,979
Are you okay, baby?
64
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:30,481
Franklin: are you okay?
65
00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:33,113
I'm okay. The bag
just broke my fall.
66
00:02:33,113 --> 00:02:34,195
Are you sure?
67
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,986
Positive.
I'm fine.
68
00:02:35,986 --> 00:02:38,449
Good, because that was funny
the way you fell.
69
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:39,910
You should have seen it.
70
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,992
It's like boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.
71
00:02:41,992 --> 00:02:43,043
Do you need help?
72
00:02:43,043 --> 00:02:44,745
I'm fine.
I got it myself.
73
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:46,337
Boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom.
74
00:02:48,499 --> 00:02:51,051
Anyhoo...
Anyhoo...
75
00:02:51,051 --> 00:02:52,052
Allow me.
76
00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:54,094
You guys run along
and have fun.
77
00:02:54,094 --> 00:02:55,886
And remember the rules.
78
00:02:55,886 --> 00:02:58,349
Both:
♪ no staying up past 9:00 ♪
79
00:02:58,349 --> 00:03:01,352
♪ No touching her behind ♪
80
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:03,264
♪ No kissing in the dark ♪
81
00:03:03,264 --> 00:03:05,516
♪ No touching her behind ♪
82
00:03:05,516 --> 00:03:06,727
Very good.
83
00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:10,481
Oh, I hate my life.
I hate my school.
84
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:11,772
I hate my class.
85
00:03:11,772 --> 00:03:14,154
The kids are all fractionalized
into little groups,
86
00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:16,116
And I don't fit into
any of them.
87
00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:17,528
It's like I don't exist.
88
00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:20,871
Huh?
You talking to me?
89
00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:23,784
Yeah, dad.
[ Sighs ]
90
00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:25,326
Look, baby,
what's the matter?
91
00:03:25,326 --> 00:03:26,957
Everyone's formed
into cliques,
92
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,959
And I'm not sure which one
I fit into.
93
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,131
Well, don't try to fit
into a clique.
94
00:03:31,131 --> 00:03:32,673
Why don't you create
your own?
95
00:03:32,673 --> 00:03:34,044
If you develop your own style,
96
00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:36,547
Then the right people will
gravitate toward you.
97
00:03:36,547 --> 00:03:38,098
Who -- the losers?
98
00:03:38,098 --> 00:03:40,801
School's not like it was back
in the olden days, dad.
99
00:03:40,801 --> 00:03:43,764
When I was your age, I went
through the same thing.
100
00:03:43,764 --> 00:03:45,806
Then I realized,
"you know what?
101
00:03:45,806 --> 00:03:47,147
"I take me wherever I go.
102
00:03:47,147 --> 00:03:50,060
So wherever I was at,
that's where the party was."
103
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,982
The party's wherever I'm at.
104
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,944
That's cool.
Thanks, dad.
105
00:03:53,944 --> 00:03:54,985
You're welcome.
106
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,156
Okay.
107
00:03:56,156 --> 00:03:58,198
Finally, we're ready.
Can we go now?
108
00:03:58,198 --> 00:03:59,199
How late are we?
109
00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:00,661
Don't worry about that.
110
00:04:00,661 --> 00:04:03,123
I got one of my secret
shortcuts.
111
00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:05,286
Uh-oh.
Good night, claire.
112
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,707
Ooh, I like that.
113
00:04:06,707 --> 00:04:09,129
Oohh, I'm gonna tear
that up.
114
00:04:09,129 --> 00:04:11,792
♪ We'll be staying up
past 9:00 ♪
115
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,334
♪ I'll be touching
your behind ♪
116
00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,756
♪ There'll be kissing
in the dark ♪
117
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,878
♪ I'll be touching
your behind ♪
118
00:04:17,878 --> 00:04:21,302
Oh, my god.
They didn't recite the rules.
119
00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:28,769
The most amazing thing
happened --
120
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,602
Mom and dad left
and didn't recite the rules.
121
00:04:31,602 --> 00:04:34,735
He didn't say, "no friends,
no fire, no freedom, no fun"?
122
00:04:34,735 --> 00:04:35,896
Nope.
Wow.
123
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,948
So, technically,
we're ruleless.
124
00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:40,280
We're completely
and totally free.
125
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,862
And dad gave me this speech
126
00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:43,904
About the party's
wherever I'm at.
127
00:04:43,904 --> 00:04:44,995
And tonight, I'm here!
128
00:04:44,995 --> 00:04:46,407
[ Giggles ]
129
00:04:46,407 --> 00:04:49,790
Claire, I'm living in a garage
because I violated the rules.
130
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,833
All I did was get my girlfriend
pregnant in dad's bed.
131
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,375
I mean, that's just one spot.
132
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:57,087
You're talking about
messing up the whole house?
133
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:59,840
I won't have any part of it.
But what I will do --
134
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,883
I'm gonna break rule 7,
subsection "b."
135
00:05:02,883 --> 00:05:05,636
I'm gonna go put cheese
on a peach.
136
00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:07,598
Now, who's coming with me?
137
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,849
I don't know.
138
00:05:08,849 --> 00:05:12,603
Both of you guys are a little
bit too risqué for me.
139
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,815
Come on, tony.
It'll be wild.
140
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,738
Dairy and citrus
mixed together.
141
00:05:17,738 --> 00:05:19,570
We'll call it a cheach,
142
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:23,744
As in, "boy, I could sure go
for a nice cold cheach."
143
00:05:23,744 --> 00:05:25,906
Look, just because you're about
to have a baby
144
00:05:25,906 --> 00:05:27,948
Doesn't mean that the rest of us
can't have fun.
145
00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:29,580
What's more fun
than a cheach?
146
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:30,791
A chong?
147
00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:32,212
Ah ha ha.
148
00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,878
Somebody stop me.
149
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,221
That's funny.
150
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:43,674
Come on, junior, just lighten up
and have a good time.
151
00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:45,806
I just don't like it.
So count me out.
152
00:05:45,806 --> 00:05:48,098
Yeah, I don't like it
either, claire.
153
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,890
You know partying's a sin.
154
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,813
I don't want any part of any
party unless it's a jesus jam.
155
00:05:52,813 --> 00:05:54,314
Now, that would be fun.
156
00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:55,566
You don't have to come.
157
00:05:55,566 --> 00:05:58,739
There'll be other guys
to take my mind of off you.
158
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,784
[ Grunts ] gosh!
Fine, I'm in!
159
00:06:03,784 --> 00:06:05,746
But only on one condition.
160
00:06:05,746 --> 00:06:06,747
What?
161
00:06:06,747 --> 00:06:07,908
I supervise.
162
00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:10,541
I'll be the soldier
of decency.
163
00:06:14,755 --> 00:06:15,836
Uh-oh.
164
00:06:15,836 --> 00:06:16,837
What?
165
00:06:16,837 --> 00:06:17,998
Oh, my god.
166
00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:19,379
What?
167
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,712
I forgot to recite the rules
to claire and junior.
168
00:06:21,712 --> 00:06:23,764
Oh, babe, come on.
They know the rules.
169
00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:25,676
They've heard it
a million times.
170
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,558
They're old enough
to remember them.
171
00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:30,310
Don't worry about them.
We got bigger problems.
172
00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:32,062
Like what?
Like we're lost.
173
00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:34,435
We're not -- why you always say
we're lost?
174
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:36,727
We're not lost?
No.
175
00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:37,938
We're not lost?
We're not lost?
176
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:39,229
We on a dirt road,
michael.
177
00:06:39,229 --> 00:06:41,652
Do you think maxwell
is performing on a dirt road?
178
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:44,194
Do you think he's standing out
in the middle of that field
179
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:45,656
Singing to a herd
of cows?
180
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,737
That's what you think?
181
00:06:46,737 --> 00:06:49,199
If you would have gotten
dressed on time,
182
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:52,082
Then I wouldn't have had to take
the secret shortcut.
183
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:55,415
Whatever. I got to look good
for my maxwell, okay?
184
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,667
That you do.
185
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:57,838
Thank you.
186
00:06:57,838 --> 00:06:58,839
Mmm.
187
00:06:58,839 --> 00:06:59,960
Stop, michael.
188
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,383
That's how we got lost
in the first place. God.
189
00:07:03,383 --> 00:07:06,386
I know, but I just want to
pull over
190
00:07:06,386 --> 00:07:08,889
And take
a different route.
191
00:07:08,889 --> 00:07:09,810
Stop it.
192
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:12,813
Take the back road.
Whoahoho.
193
00:07:12,813 --> 00:07:14,014
Stop.
194
00:07:14,014 --> 00:07:15,686
What?
195
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:18,108
I'm just trying to take my mind
off the kids.
196
00:07:18,108 --> 00:07:20,020
How, by making another one?
No.
197
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,772
It relaxes me.
You know what?
198
00:07:21,772 --> 00:07:24,775
Maybe I should call the kids
and recite the rules.
199
00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,737
That way --
oh, man, no service.
200
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,619
Of course there's no service,
baby.
201
00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:30,911
We're in "texas chainsaw
massacre" country.
202
00:07:30,911 --> 00:07:33,413
They don't even know how
to spell "phone" out here.
203
00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:35,836
All right, all right.
I know where we are.
204
00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:37,498
Look, there's the moon.
See?
205
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:38,709
That means it's north.
206
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,672
We'll just follow that until
we hit the little dipper.
207
00:07:41,672 --> 00:07:43,544
Then I'll just ride
the handle.
208
00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:46,797
You don't want the big dipper
'cause that'll get you lost.
209
00:07:46,797 --> 00:07:48,759
You want to get to
the little dipper.
210
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:52,012
You take that to the end,
you make a hard left at jupiter,
211
00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:54,434
Jump on that milky way,
and pscchhhhooo!
212
00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:56,476
Be right in there
to maxwellville.
213
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,938
Oh, jay, I'm telling you,
214
00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,940
These kids are up
to something. I feel it.
215
00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:01,812
There's a disturbance
in the force.
216
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:04,444
Baby, listen, if it'll
make you feel any better,
217
00:08:04,444 --> 00:08:07,447
Tony was supposed to come over
and study with claire, right?
218
00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:10,320
You know nothing bad is gonna
happen as long as tony's there.
219
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,873
All: go, tony!
It's your birthday!
220
00:08:12,873 --> 00:08:15,455
Go, tony!
It's your birthday!
221
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,828
Go, tony!
It's your birthday!
222
00:08:17,828 --> 00:08:20,500
Go, tony!
It's your birthday!
223
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,962
Go, tony!
It's your birthday!
224
00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:24,084
No, it's not my birthday
till next week,
225
00:08:24,084 --> 00:08:25,425
But thanks anyway, guys.
226
00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:26,506
Whoo!
227
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,888
Yeah! Yeah!
228
00:08:27,888 --> 00:08:32,222
Man, I never felt this brave
in my entire life.
229
00:08:32,222 --> 00:08:35,806
God, you know,
claire, I love you.
230
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:36,897
I really, really do.
231
00:08:36,897 --> 00:08:39,940
You know, I love you --
I love you this much, okay?
232
00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:41,141
No. You know what?
233
00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:43,403
I love you from here
all the way --
234
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:45,906
Excuse me, sorry,
excuse me, sorry --
235
00:08:45,906 --> 00:08:47,568
All the way over here.
236
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,950
That's how much I love you,
claire.
237
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:50,991
That's a lot.
238
00:08:50,991 --> 00:08:52,743
What have you been drinking?
239
00:08:52,743 --> 00:08:54,865
Ah, just a little
fruit punch.
240
00:08:57,207 --> 00:08:58,328
[ Sniffs ]
241
00:08:58,328 --> 00:09:00,160
This punch has been spiked.
242
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,872
There's liquor in this.
243
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:07,547
Oh, no.
The devil's nectar.
244
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,969
[ Laughing ]
245
00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:13,513
Who put liquor
in the punch bowl?
246
00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:14,845
All: I did.
247
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:15,936
All right.
248
00:09:15,936 --> 00:09:19,349
Well, I'm gonna get
some more.
249
00:09:19,349 --> 00:09:21,852
Oops.
I spilled it.
250
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,023
And guess what?
251
00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:25,896
We're gonna go butt wild
up in this piece.
252
00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:26,777
A'ight?
253
00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:29,690
No, tony, you don't need
any more to drink.
254
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:31,692
Come on, claire.
It's a party.
255
00:09:31,692 --> 00:09:32,993
Jeez, lighten up.
256
00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:35,495
Hey, party over here!
257
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,962
Do you hear that?
What?
258
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:44,124
No. Listen.
Do you hear that?
259
00:09:44,124 --> 00:09:45,205
What?
260
00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:46,667
Do you hear it?
261
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:48,298
I don't hear nothing.
262
00:09:48,298 --> 00:09:50,881
Exactly.
It's not my maxwell.
263
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,673
All I hear is crickets.
264
00:09:52,673 --> 00:09:55,015
Maybe that's
the opening act.
265
00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:56,516
Get it?
The crickets.
266
00:09:56,516 --> 00:09:58,679
"Coming to the stage,
the crickets."
267
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,391
[ Chuckling ]
268
00:10:01,391 --> 00:10:03,563
Anyhoo...
269
00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:06,026
Look, when did you lose
your sense of humor?
270
00:10:06,026 --> 00:10:07,898
Halfway between
that crop circle over there
271
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:08,899
And the last one.
272
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,150
This isn't all my fault.
273
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,032
You need to take
responsibility.
274
00:10:12,032 --> 00:10:15,075
How is us being lost
my fault?
275
00:10:15,075 --> 00:10:17,367
Wait, we are not lost.
276
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,739
We're not lost?
No.
277
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:19,790
We're not lost?
278
00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:21,291
There's the little dipper.
279
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:23,003
Forget the little dipper.
280
00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:24,004
I'm not lost.
281
00:10:24,004 --> 00:10:26,296
Then you tell me what it is.
282
00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:27,627
I'm on my way.
283
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,879
Oh, my goodness.
284
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,752
I'm in transition unarrived.
How about that?
285
00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,924
Well, I'm about
to be unconscious
286
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,096
Smelling these cow pies
in the field.
287
00:10:36,096 --> 00:10:39,059
Maybe next time we should take
separate cars.
288
00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:41,141
That way,
I can be there on time,
289
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,474
And you can make the grand
entrance three hours late
290
00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:45,856
Like you always do.
291
00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:49,069
You know what? It is a privilege
for you to wait for me.
292
00:10:49,069 --> 00:10:50,110
Come again?
293
00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:51,271
Yeah, I said it.
294
00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,943
It is a privilege!
295
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,825
Well, explain that one.
296
00:10:54,825 --> 00:10:58,198
I am your wife, the mother
of your children.
297
00:10:58,198 --> 00:11:01,782
If it takes me a couple
of extra minutes to get ready
298
00:11:01,782 --> 00:11:05,706
And repair the damage
that you have done to my body
299
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,919
Bearing those
children of yours,
300
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:11,882
Then so be it,
michael richard kyle!
301
00:11:11,882 --> 00:11:17,597
So you're just gonna throw out
the birth card, huh?
302
00:11:17,597 --> 00:11:19,639
What about me, jay?
Huh?
303
00:11:19,639 --> 00:11:22,933
What about the six weeks
that I got to wait
304
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,356
After the birth of each child
while you "heal up"
305
00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:29,940
So that you could perform your
wifely duties, huh?
306
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:35,075
What about the pain and the ache
that I feel in my loins
307
00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:39,079
While you wait for the hundred
or so "stitches"
308
00:11:39,079 --> 00:11:40,911
To dissolve, huh?
309
00:11:40,911 --> 00:11:44,414
Don't you tell me
about sacrifice, jay.
310
00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:47,788
Don't just gloss over
my sacrifices.
311
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,004
I guess you want to go h--
312
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,005
Take me home!
313
00:11:57,597 --> 00:11:59,930
Do you realize that half
the kids are drinking?
314
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:01,301
It's not that bad, is it?
315
00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:04,184
Whoo! Whoo!
Uh! Uh!
316
00:12:04,184 --> 00:12:06,516
Whoo! Whoo!
Uh! Uh!
317
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:08,438
I don't want anything to do
with the party
318
00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:10,480
Because dad is gonna throw
the after-party.
319
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,442
I'm just telling you
that this is big trouble.
320
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:13,523
Rules or no rules.
321
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,116
What?
322
00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:18,278
Claire, I know what
I got to do.
323
00:12:18,278 --> 00:12:22,162
Yeah, you gotta drink some
coffee and sleep this off
324
00:12:22,162 --> 00:12:23,784
Before you go home.
325
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:24,865
No, no, no, no.
326
00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:27,868
Not until I fulfill
my lifelong dream.
327
00:12:27,868 --> 00:12:29,289
And what's that?
328
00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:31,581
I'm gonna run down
the street naked.
329
00:12:31,581 --> 00:12:34,044
No, I don't think
that's a good idea, tony.
330
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,545
I'm gonna do it anyway.
331
00:12:35,545 --> 00:12:37,507
It doesn't matter
what you say.
332
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,678
You can't stop me.
333
00:12:38,678 --> 00:12:41,221
Okay, fine, go ahead.
Make a fool of yourself.
334
00:12:41,221 --> 00:12:43,013
I'm free! Whee!
335
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,015
Hey, who wants to get naked
336
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,187
And run down the street
with me?
337
00:12:47,187 --> 00:12:49,269
Come on, just the guys.
338
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,690
Come on, just you!
339
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:53,313
Come on, you got my back,
right, dog?
340
00:12:53,313 --> 00:12:54,444
Ah, whatever.
341
00:12:58,989 --> 00:13:00,400
I'm sorry.
342
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,452
I'm sorry, too.
343
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:05,956
Stop.
344
00:13:05,956 --> 00:13:08,618
We're almost home.
345
00:13:08,618 --> 00:13:10,540
I know. I'm glad we're going
home early.
346
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,582
I can actually get rid of this
sneaky suspicion
347
00:13:12,582 --> 00:13:13,673
I have in my head.
348
00:13:13,673 --> 00:13:15,085
Wouldn't it be funny
349
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:18,298
If we came home and the kids
were having a house party?
350
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,050
You know how they do that
in the movies?
351
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,421
Yeah.
352
00:13:21,421 --> 00:13:24,634
I didn't recite the rules,
but those kids aren't crazy.
353
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:26,056
Is that tony?
354
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:26,927
Where?
355
00:13:26,927 --> 00:13:29,980
This naked boy running
towards us.
356
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,101
Pull over.
357
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,273
Tony!
358
00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:35,735
Ohh! Hi,
mr. And mrs. Kyle.
359
00:13:35,735 --> 00:13:38,488
It's a beautiful night,
huh?
360
00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:40,530
Yeah, I see there's
a full moon out.
361
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:41,942
Ha ha!
362
00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:43,653
Oh, my god.
He smells like a distillery.
363
00:13:43,653 --> 00:13:44,865
Tony, have you been
drinking?
364
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,446
You guys are good.
365
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:50,911
What gave it away, the fact I'm
running naked down the street?
366
00:13:50,911 --> 00:13:53,753
That was a small clue,
tony, yes.
367
00:13:53,753 --> 00:13:55,585
Ha ha ha!
I get it!
368
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,671
It's little!
369
00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:03,423
Boy, where are your clothes?!
370
00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:05,886
They're back at your house
in your yard.
371
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,928
At my house?
Is claire there?
372
00:14:07,928 --> 00:14:10,520
Yeah, there's a bunch
of people there.
373
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,893
What is going on
over there?!
374
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:18,068
♪ There's a party goin' on
right there ♪
375
00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:19,149
♪ It's a celebration ♪
376
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:21,191
♪ To last throughout
the years ♪
377
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,823
Jay, hang on.
I got to go kill a teenager.
378
00:14:23,823 --> 00:14:28,288
♪ So bring your good times
and your laughter, too ♪
379
00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:31,871
♪ You and you and you ♪
380
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,543
Yes!
381
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:47,507
Boy, what is going
on here?
382
00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:49,889
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
383
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:54,014
Why are all these cars parked
outside of our house?
384
00:14:54,014 --> 00:14:55,936
Mnh-mnh.
385
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:59,940
What the hell is this stuff
on your face?
386
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,281
All right!
387
00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:03,403
It's cheach residue.
388
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,404
What?
389
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,326
I've been eating peaches
and cheese.
390
00:15:06,326 --> 00:15:07,527
There, I said it.
391
00:15:07,527 --> 00:15:09,199
Didn't I cheach you
better than that?
392
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,531
You're not supposed to mix dairy
and citrus.
393
00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:13,954
I know, dad, but you didn't
recite the rules,
394
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,455
So I went a little crazy.
395
00:15:15,455 --> 00:15:18,298
I tried every peach and cheese
combination there is.
396
00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:20,840
I tried peach and american,
peach and swiss,
397
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,002
Peach and cheddar,
398
00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:24,424
Peach and blue cheese,
which I called the bleach,
399
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,716
Peach and gouda,
which I called the pouda,
400
00:15:26,716 --> 00:15:28,928
Peach and brie,
peach and muenster,
401
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,971
Cottage cheach,
cream cheach,
402
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:33,103
Jack cheach,
and nacho cheach.
403
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:35,105
But now my stomach's upset.
404
00:15:35,105 --> 00:15:38,728
The peach wants to come out,
but the cheese won't let it.
405
00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:41,231
That's what you get
for eating citrus and dairy.
406
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,863
I know, dad, and I'll never
break the rules again.
407
00:15:43,863 --> 00:15:46,156
Oh, by the way,
claire's having a party,
408
00:15:46,156 --> 00:15:47,947
Which I had nothing
to do with.
409
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:52,072
You better run.
Go! Go! Save yourself!
410
00:15:52,072 --> 00:15:55,575
Boy, you just cut
the cheach.
411
00:15:55,835 --> 00:15:58,288
Baby, I can taste it.
412
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,790
It's in my clothes.
413
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,173
Look at what this girl --
here she comes.
414
00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:20,650
Aah!
415
00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:23,733
What the hell
is going on here, huh?
416
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,156
Surprise!
Happy anniversary!
417
00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:27,867
This party's for you.
418
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,659
Not our anniversary.
419
00:16:29,659 --> 00:16:31,321
Oh, well, of course not.
420
00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:33,573
It wouldn't have been a surprise
421
00:16:33,573 --> 00:16:35,915
If I had done it on your actual
anniversary.
422
00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,207
No.
423
00:16:37,207 --> 00:16:39,999
Junior's eating peaches
and cheese in the garage.
424
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,122
There are teenagers
drinking alcohol
425
00:16:42,122 --> 00:16:43,123
In my house!
426
00:16:43,123 --> 00:16:44,384
I know, but I didn't drink.
427
00:16:44,384 --> 00:16:47,047
And I didn't give them
anything to drink.
428
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,219
This is just how some
of these kids party.
429
00:16:49,219 --> 00:16:51,261
These are the kids
you want to impress?
430
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:54,804
Yeah. I mean, sort of.
431
00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:57,016
You're about to become a legend
amongst your peers.
432
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,479
I'm about to show them a party
they'll never forget.
433
00:16:59,479 --> 00:17:01,061
I'm gonna bring out
the big guns.
434
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,693
[ Franklin singing in german ]
435
00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:20,620
All right. What opera
was that aria from?
436
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:22,082
[ Vomits ]
437
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:27,087
Correct. Give that woman
more peaches and cheese.
438
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:30,170
Okay, everyone gather around.
439
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:36,226
It's time for "bach, bach,
beethoven"!
440
00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:38,017
[ All groan ]
441
00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:39,809
It was the best party ever.
442
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,942
Thank you for taking time out
of your little shindig
443
00:17:42,942 --> 00:17:44,023
To help us out, huh?
444
00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:46,736
Go ahead and play your little
"bach, bach, beethoven."
445
00:17:48,238 --> 00:17:50,950
Bach...
446
00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:53,863
Bach...
447
00:17:53,863 --> 00:17:55,995
Bach...
448
00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:57,367
Beethoven!
449
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,870
Come on, you guys.
You're supposed to chase me.
450
00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:08,758
Hey. That's cheating.
451
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:15,515
Well, I'm glad they got home
safely, and I'm very sorry.
452
00:18:15,515 --> 00:18:17,307
Bye-bye.
453
00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:21,771
Well, there's no chance
I'll ever be popular now.
454
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:22,812
Good.
455
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:24,984
Did you have to call
all their parents?
456
00:18:24,984 --> 00:18:26,816
Yes, claire.
They were drinking.
457
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:27,937
You made us responsible.
458
00:18:27,937 --> 00:18:29,899
You've let us down
in every possible way.
459
00:18:29,899 --> 00:18:32,071
We don't even know who you are
anymore.
460
00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:33,943
You showed no respect to me,
to your mother,
461
00:18:33,943 --> 00:18:35,285
Or even to yourself.
462
00:18:35,285 --> 00:18:37,237
Probably because you don't know
what respect is.
463
00:18:37,237 --> 00:18:39,038
I'm so disappointed
in you.
464
00:18:39,038 --> 00:18:41,621
I wasn't trying
to disappoint you, dad.
465
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,204
Technically, you didn't recite
the rules --
466
00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,415
Save it, save it.
467
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,248
I'm not even gonna let you try
to justify this.
468
00:18:48,248 --> 00:18:50,210
[ Sighs ] you're right.
469
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:53,633
Whatever my punishment is,
I accept it.
470
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,965
Ah, yes, your punishment.
471
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:59,138
Your mother and I
have discussed it.
472
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:03,022
Seeing as we are so hurt
and disappointed
473
00:19:03,022 --> 00:19:06,316
By your blatant deceit
and disrespect,
474
00:19:06,316 --> 00:19:08,768
We've come up with a doozy.
475
00:19:08,768 --> 00:19:09,769
Oh, yeah.
476
00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:11,441
Oh, god.
477
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,902
Just kill me.
478
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:15,985
No, that would be too easy,
and then I'd end up in prison.
479
00:19:15,985 --> 00:19:18,448
I wouldn't do good in prison.
You know why?
480
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,869
I'm too pretty for that.
481
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:25,205
Anyway, your punishment,
young lady, is...
482
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:27,917
[ Imitating drum roll ]
483
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,340
You're not punished at all.
484
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:31,341
What?
485
00:19:31,341 --> 00:19:33,052
That's right.
That's right.
486
00:19:33,052 --> 00:19:34,003
That's not fair.
487
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:36,466
Hey, you keep sassing,
young lady,
488
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,558
And I'll unpunish you some more.
489
00:19:38,558 --> 00:19:40,390
In fact, I'll start
rewarding you.
490
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:41,561
But --
491
00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:43,683
Give her $20.
Give her $20.
492
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,356
Claire, just be --
just zip it.
493
00:19:46,356 --> 00:19:50,860
Be quiet, claire!
Just...
494
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:52,902
This is some kind of trick,
right?
495
00:19:52,902 --> 00:19:56,075
No. We've decided to show you
a little respect.
496
00:19:56,075 --> 00:19:58,868
Hopefully, we're gonna assume
that you've learned your lesson.
497
00:19:58,868 --> 00:20:00,620
Oh, dad, I so --
498
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:01,621
Here's $20!
499
00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:02,992
Claire!
500
00:20:02,992 --> 00:20:06,496
You go buy yourself
something nice with that!
501
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:07,877
With $40?
502
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:11,000
Okay. Here, take it all.
Take it all, here.
503
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,672
Hey, what you --
oh.
504
00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:15,385
I'm just trying to show her
a lesson.
505
00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:19,969
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
506
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,100
Here.
507
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:27,977
Anyway, we don't want to hear
words from you no more.
508
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,769
Just actions, claire.
509
00:20:29,769 --> 00:20:31,851
I feel terrible.
510
00:20:31,851 --> 00:20:34,564
Good. Mission accomplished.
511
00:20:34,564 --> 00:20:36,816
Now, you take you
wherever you go.
512
00:20:36,816 --> 00:20:39,569
I want you to take you upstairs
and go to bed.
513
00:20:39,569 --> 00:20:41,571
Here. Don't forget
your money.
514
00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:44,073
It's guilt money.
I don't want it.
515
00:20:44,073 --> 00:20:48,368
Michael, what
are we gonna do?
516
00:20:48,368 --> 00:20:50,039
[ Sighs ]
517
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:53,212
I don't know about you,
but I'm gonna go...
518
00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:55,465
♪ Drink some punch with wine ♪
519
00:20:55,465 --> 00:20:58,378
♪ And touch on my behind ♪
520
00:20:58,378 --> 00:21:01,721
♪ And kiss it in the dark ♪
521
00:21:01,721 --> 00:21:04,093
♪ And touch on my behind ♪
522
00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:09,018
I don't have a watch.
That's what I was thinking.
523
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,811
I was gonna look at my watch,
but there's no watch.
524
00:21:11,811 --> 00:21:15,355
Do you think --
we'll do one without it.
525
00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:17,276
And action!
526
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,658
[ Sighs ]
527
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,038
We should do the watch.
37104
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof