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1
00:00:03,544 --> 00:00:05,586
I hope junior's gonna be
all right.
2
00:00:05,586 --> 00:00:07,758
Of course he's gonna be.
He's a kyle.
3
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,551
I remember the day I had to tell
your parents you were pregnant.
4
00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:12,763
I just had to be
straight about it,
5
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,975
Just let the chips fall
where they may.
6
00:00:14,975 --> 00:00:17,398
I was a man.
You know what I'm saying?
7
00:00:17,398 --> 00:00:20,441
That was the toughest
long-distance call I ever made.
8
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,065
Hey, mom. Hey, dad.
9
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,566
Hey, how'd it go?
10
00:00:25,566 --> 00:00:28,028
Mr. Scott chased me out
of their apartment.
11
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,202
If it hadn't been for vanessa
becoming a human shield,
12
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:33,364
I wouldn't have made it
out alive.
13
00:00:33,364 --> 00:00:34,955
He threatened you?
14
00:00:34,955 --> 00:00:37,158
Is "come here so I can squash
your watermelon-sized head"
15
00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:38,709
Considered a threat?
16
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,121
Hell yeah.
17
00:00:40,121 --> 00:00:41,922
What else did the tough guy
have to say?
18
00:00:41,922 --> 00:00:45,216
I really can't repeat it.
Let's just say things got ugly.
19
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,668
Yeah, well, they're about to
get uglier,
20
00:00:47,668 --> 00:00:49,590
Because I am not gonna
stand by
21
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:51,972
And let some grown man
threaten my son.
22
00:00:51,972 --> 00:00:53,674
You're the fruit of my loins.
23
00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:56,517
That's good, 'cause he's on his
way over here.
24
00:00:56,517 --> 00:01:00,020
Well, I better loosen up right
now for a couple of these,
25
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:01,482
So I don't pull nothing.
26
00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:03,854
Michael, just calm down,
all right?
27
00:01:03,854 --> 00:01:06,447
No, I'll calm down when he's
laying on the ground
28
00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,949
With the blood trickling out the
side of his face.
29
00:01:08,949 --> 00:01:09,990
Michael!
30
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:11,862
Don't you "michael"
me, woman.
31
00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:14,455
This is a matter of honor,
all right?
32
00:01:14,455 --> 00:01:17,368
That cat don't know who he's
messing with.
33
00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,960
I'm about to open up a can
of whup-ass
34
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,502
With some extra pow in it.
35
00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:22,793
That's right, dad.
36
00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:24,505
This is what I'm gonna do.
37
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:26,667
First, I'm gonna keep him
out there with the jab.
38
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,629
Throw it, dad!
Go, go, go!
39
00:01:28,629 --> 00:01:31,592
And then, if he rush me, I'll
back up and do the flurry.
40
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,134
Speed, speed, speed!
41
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:36,977
Then, if he get unruly about it,
I drop into my jujitsu bag.
42
00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,349
Whoo!
43
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:41,392
And I pull out
the monkey knuckle.
44
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:42,853
Ha!
45
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:43,934
Hyah!
46
00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:45,276
Hyah!
47
00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:46,987
Umm! Aah!
48
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,570
What is the monkey knuckle?
49
00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:52,693
You can't stop the monkey.
It comes from different angles.
50
00:01:52,693 --> 00:01:53,944
Ow! Ow!
51
00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:54,905
You get up...
52
00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:56,116
You see that?
53
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,038
Yeah, he's in trouble.
54
00:01:58,038 --> 00:02:00,000
That monkey knuckle
dangerous.
55
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,332
[ Doorbell rings ]
56
00:02:01,332 --> 00:02:03,003
Okay, this must be him.
57
00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:05,876
Y'all stand back and give him
room to fall.
58
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,919
I'm about to go right into the
monkey knuckle.
59
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:12,923
Haaaaa!
60
00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:15,216
I'm vanessa's father,
calvin.
61
00:02:15,216 --> 00:02:17,258
How you doing?
62
00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:18,969
What's wrong with your hands?
63
00:02:18,969 --> 00:02:21,562
Oh, nothing.
Just a little rheumatism.
64
00:02:21,562 --> 00:02:24,024
I had on a bad glove
last night.
65
00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:27,528
If I didn't know any better, I'd
say that's a monkey knuckle.
66
00:02:27,528 --> 00:02:30,030
It is, and my dad has something
he wants to say to you.
67
00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:31,692
I sure do.
68
00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:33,774
I want to say welcome
to the kyle home.
69
00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:37,278
Oh ho! That's some grip you got
there, calvin.
70
00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:39,200
Yeah, I grew up
in the country.
71
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,082
I've been twisting heads off of
chickens since I was 3.
72
00:02:42,082 --> 00:02:44,745
Well, they probably
deserved it.
73
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:48,709
Yeah, sometime I twist the heads
off of cows, too.
74
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:51,252
Well, you can't have chicken
every night.
75
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,345
Hello. Hi.
76
00:02:54,345 --> 00:02:55,556
I'm jay.
77
00:02:55,556 --> 00:02:57,137
Oh, hi.
78
00:02:57,137 --> 00:03:00,391
I'm vanessa's mother,
jasmine.
79
00:03:00,391 --> 00:03:01,762
Nice to meet you.
80
00:03:01,762 --> 00:03:05,436
Ooh, your house
is so beautiful!
81
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:06,977
It looks so expensive.
82
00:03:06,977 --> 00:03:08,188
Thanks.
83
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,189
Cal!
84
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,311
Look!
85
00:03:10,311 --> 00:03:11,902
Look!
86
00:03:11,902 --> 00:03:14,405
Junior, I'm so sorry my dad
reacted the way he did.
87
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:15,986
I'm so embarrassed.
88
00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:18,078
It's not your fault,
vanessa,
89
00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:19,530
But my dad is really teed off.
90
00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:22,453
I think you better leave, 'cause
it's about to get ugly.
91
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:23,914
Is that a fact?
92
00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:26,126
Yep, I told my dad what
you said,
93
00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,128
And he gonna reach into
his bag --
94
00:03:28,128 --> 00:03:30,831
And pull out just a big old
welcome sign.
95
00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,092
[ Laughs ]
96
00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:33,464
Michael...
97
00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:35,135
Jay, he -- the boy is wrong.
98
00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:36,967
He's out of line.
99
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,260
I mean, mr. Calvin has every
right to be upset.
100
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,843
I mean, just the thought of
looking at you makes me sick.
101
00:03:42,843 --> 00:03:45,396
I ought to backhand you with the
monkey knuckle right now.
102
00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:47,017
But -- ow!
103
00:03:47,017 --> 00:03:49,980
But I thought you said you was
gonna open up a can of whup--
104
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,812
A can of what?
105
00:03:51,812 --> 00:03:54,194
A can of beer.
Would you like that?
106
00:03:54,194 --> 00:03:56,026
Beer makes me violent,
107
00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:59,660
And when I feel violent, I get
the sweats.
108
00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:02,453
Daddy -- daddy, please.
109
00:04:02,453 --> 00:04:06,917
Daddy, please, look, why don't
we go somewhere
110
00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:12,212
And talk this out in a nice,
reasonable environment --
111
00:04:12,212 --> 00:04:14,965
Somewhere safe, in front of a
lot of witnesses,
112
00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:16,717
And just sit down and talk?
113
00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:18,048
Well, we could do that.
114
00:04:18,048 --> 00:04:19,930
We could go to
a restaurant.
115
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:22,092
That might be nice,
cal-cal.
116
00:04:22,092 --> 00:04:23,474
[ Laughs ]
117
00:04:23,474 --> 00:04:25,145
All right.
118
00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:27,518
What do you say we go to
chateau lemarque?
119
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,189
We'll meet you at 8:00.
120
00:04:29,189 --> 00:04:31,482
Well, that's a pretty high-end
restaurant.
121
00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:33,654
Oh, don't worry about it.
122
00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:35,986
[ Laughs ]
you're with us.
123
00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:38,068
Come on, vanessa.
Let's go.
124
00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:40,661
I'll call you later,
junior.
125
00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:43,073
Well, uh, nice to meet you.
126
00:04:43,073 --> 00:04:46,617
It sure was really nice
meeting you guys.
127
00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:48,499
Take care.
128
00:04:48,499 --> 00:04:49,830
Okay.
129
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:51,792
Bye!
130
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,679
What? What?
131
00:04:58,679 --> 00:05:01,131
What is all the looks about?
132
00:05:06,977 --> 00:05:10,060
[ Laughing ] well, it certainly
is hard to believe
133
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,272
That we're all gonna be
grandparents.
134
00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:15,065
Jay and I are still trying to
digest that.
135
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,987
How do you feel about that,
calvin?
136
00:05:16,987 --> 00:05:18,529
I'm mad as hell!
137
00:05:18,529 --> 00:05:21,742
Okay, one "mad as hell."
Got that.
138
00:05:21,742 --> 00:05:23,364
And, jasmine, you?
139
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:25,285
I'm mad as hell, too!
140
00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:28,659
But after I saw calvin get
to sweating
141
00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:32,413
And flipping cars over and
pulling trees out of the ground,
142
00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:35,666
I said, "hey, no sense
in both of us getting that mad."
143
00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:38,759
And to tell you the truth, after
meeting you folks
144
00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:42,302
And seeing your beautiful house
and all them nice things,
145
00:05:42,302 --> 00:05:44,425
I know junior
come from good stock.
146
00:05:44,425 --> 00:05:47,428
I think he gonna make our
vanessa a great husband.
147
00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:48,429
Husband?
148
00:05:48,429 --> 00:05:51,311
Yeah, that's the way it's
supposed to go, huh?
149
00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:52,933
And I drink to that.
150
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:56,356
I think it's a little too soon
to be talking about marriage.
151
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,318
I think they need to know each
other a little better.
152
00:05:58,318 --> 00:06:00,240
What else do they need to know?
153
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,403
She's pregnant.
They're getting married, right?
154
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,154
Yes, right.
155
00:06:06,246 --> 00:06:09,490
Michael, don't let this guy
push us around.
156
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:11,752
Jay, nobody pushes me
around, okay?
157
00:06:11,752 --> 00:06:13,624
I'm just playing a
role here.
158
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,205
Of what -- punk?
159
00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:16,497
Look, just trust me.
160
00:06:16,497 --> 00:06:18,338
I'm gonna handle this.
161
00:06:18,338 --> 00:06:19,299
Yes, baby, go.
162
00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:21,301
Listen here, uh, calvin --
163
00:06:21,301 --> 00:06:24,054
Let me tell you where I come out
on top of all this.
164
00:06:24,054 --> 00:06:26,717
Come over here and tell me where
you come out in all this.
165
00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:30,270
Um...well, I was kind of
hoping, sort of,
166
00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:35,395
That maybe, you know, junior
could go to school a little bit,
167
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:39,399
You know, at night,
if that's okay with you.
168
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,821
Don't get angry, calvin.
169
00:06:40,821 --> 00:06:43,323
You know you can't afford
that third strike.
170
00:06:43,323 --> 00:06:44,905
Oh, that's right.
171
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,528
Well, look, vanessa's gonna
go to school.
172
00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:49,289
You see, our
daughter's smart.
173
00:06:49,289 --> 00:06:51,622
She got a full scholarship
to remington.
174
00:06:51,622 --> 00:06:54,034
I just assume that your boy
will go to work
175
00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:56,036
And support his new wife
and child.
176
00:06:56,036 --> 00:06:57,588
I hope I ain't wrong.
177
00:06:57,588 --> 00:06:59,500
No -- you be wrong?
178
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,842
How could you be -- ow.
179
00:07:01,842 --> 00:07:04,174
How could you be wrong?
180
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,216
In fact, junior's gonna come
work for me
181
00:07:06,216 --> 00:07:07,678
At my trucking company.
182
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,680
Oh, you own
a trucking company?
183
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,851
Yeah.
184
00:07:10,851 --> 00:07:13,313
How many trucks?
185
00:07:13,313 --> 00:07:14,475
30, 32.
186
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,106
32 Trucks?!
187
00:07:16,106 --> 00:07:18,899
Ooh, lord, you all must be
making over six figures.
188
00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:20,400
Okay, you know what?
189
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,903
We're not here to talk
about michael's job.
190
00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:26,026
We're here to talk about the
kids and what they want to do.
191
00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:28,328
Kids don't always know
what's best,
192
00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:30,410
And that's why they
got parents.
193
00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:31,281
I concur.
194
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,284
You concur, jay?
195
00:07:34,284 --> 00:07:35,455
Please concur.
196
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,337
She concurs.
197
00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:40,290
I'm glad we're on
the same page, mike.
198
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,712
[ Laughs ]
199
00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:44,384
Well, you know, great minds
think alike, calvin.
200
00:07:44,384 --> 00:07:45,716
May I call you cal?
201
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:46,797
No.
202
00:07:46,797 --> 00:07:48,428
Calvin's a beautiful name.
203
00:07:48,428 --> 00:07:50,430
I don't see why any idiot
would shorten it.
204
00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:51,722
My wife calls me cal.
205
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,263
I meant male idiot.
206
00:07:53,263 --> 00:07:54,975
My daddy calls me cal, too.
207
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,557
Well, family's different.
208
00:07:56,557 --> 00:07:59,229
You know, they have that
familiarity thing.
209
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,942
My best first-grade teacher
called me cal.
210
00:08:01,942 --> 00:08:03,273
Oh, well...
211
00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:08,949
In other words, only I shouldn't
call you cal.
212
00:08:08,949 --> 00:08:10,030
Yeah.
213
00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,411
I can live with that.
214
00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:13,113
Don't be offended, michael.
215
00:08:13,113 --> 00:08:15,826
Calvin's like that with
everybody he don't like.
216
00:08:15,826 --> 00:08:18,168
He don't know how to be
subtle like me.
217
00:08:18,168 --> 00:08:20,541
Waiter, where the
drinks at?!
218
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,002
And the check.
219
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,754
You'll have to excuse me.
220
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:27,217
I need to go find
the little girl's room.
221
00:08:28,338 --> 00:08:32,052
Well, calvin, I really want to
thank you for this lovely meal.
222
00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:33,634
Well, you're welcome.
223
00:08:33,634 --> 00:08:35,225
Oh, look at the time.
224
00:08:35,225 --> 00:08:37,347
[ Laughs ]
I need to make a phone call.
225
00:08:37,347 --> 00:08:39,099
Use my cellphone.
226
00:08:39,099 --> 00:08:41,401
No, no, that's okay.
It's a business call.
227
00:08:41,401 --> 00:08:44,945
You know a brother needs
his privacy.
228
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:47,197
Michael!
229
00:08:47,197 --> 00:08:49,409
Uh, here you are, sir.
230
00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:53,784
Oh, my god!
231
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,956
You think I should leave
a tip or something?
232
00:08:55,956 --> 00:08:57,537
No, michael, no.
233
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:01,001
They're the ones who invited us
to this fancy-smancy restaurant.
234
00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:03,423
They ordered the caviar
and the lobster
235
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:05,375
And two $800 bottles of wine.
236
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:06,546
Let them pay for it.
237
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,128
Shall I take this, sir?
238
00:09:08,128 --> 00:09:11,051
I think the other gentleman's
gonna be picking up the check.
239
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,093
Oh, you mean the one
push-starting
240
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:14,595
The 1976 lime-green maverick?
241
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,726
[ Tires screech ]
242
00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:18,018
[ Clutch pops ]
243
00:09:18,018 --> 00:09:20,310
[ Engine turns over ]
244
00:09:23,774 --> 00:09:25,606
Can you believe it,
michael?
245
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,398
That shady man looked you
right in the eye,
246
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:31,692
Said, "you're welcome," and then
stiffed us with the check.
247
00:09:31,692 --> 00:09:34,404
Business call, michael?
He doesn't even work.
248
00:09:34,404 --> 00:09:36,406
They took us for a ride,
michael.
249
00:09:36,406 --> 00:09:39,039
We got hustled.
They're a couple of con artists.
250
00:09:39,039 --> 00:09:41,832
I'm sure there's a reasonable
explanation for this, jay.
251
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,754
Let me tell you something,
michael.
252
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:46,296
I want you to go over
there and get our money back.
253
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:49,049
And if he doesn't, I want you to
shake it out of him!
254
00:09:49,049 --> 00:09:50,801
Jay, come on,
let's not get crazy.
255
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:52,592
I don't want to resort
to violence.
256
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,845
What happened to
the jujitsu?
257
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,217
Where's the monkey knuckle,
michael?
258
00:09:57,217 --> 00:09:59,219
What happened to
the monkey knuckle?
259
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,220
What's that?
260
00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:01,431
Jay --
261
00:10:01,431 --> 00:10:03,063
Where's that?
262
00:10:03,063 --> 00:10:05,565
You just don't go from
zero to monkey knuckle.
263
00:10:05,565 --> 00:10:07,728
It's dangerous for
everybody.
264
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,441
You got to take little
monkey steps,
265
00:10:11,441 --> 00:10:14,655
And you creep up, and you go,
"hi, would you like a banana?"
266
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,697
Like that.
267
00:10:16,697 --> 00:10:18,288
I'm telling you, michael,
268
00:10:18,288 --> 00:10:20,200
Something's not right about
those two.
269
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,292
Don't you think it's a
little strange
270
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:25,005
That calvin slipped and
"accidentally" fell
271
00:10:25,005 --> 00:10:26,707
On all three of his jobs
272
00:10:26,707 --> 00:10:28,709
And he's collecting
disability checks?
273
00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:30,300
Well, you know what?
274
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,093
He's a big guy, and maybe he's
got weak ankles.
275
00:10:33,093 --> 00:10:36,306
Big guys like that, they only
work out the upper half.
276
00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:39,309
They don't have strong lower
body, you know?
277
00:10:39,309 --> 00:10:42,182
That thick chest probably throws
his equilibrium off.
278
00:10:42,182 --> 00:10:44,314
What's with all these
inappropriate questions
279
00:10:44,314 --> 00:10:46,356
About whether our house is paid
for or not?
280
00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:48,939
Okay, I admit that it is a
little strange,
281
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,321
But our son did impregnate
their daughter,
282
00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:54,034
So they are entitled to ask a
few questions.
283
00:10:54,034 --> 00:10:56,536
Well, I'm entitled to ask
some questions, too.
284
00:10:56,536 --> 00:10:58,949
Like is scamming a family
business?
285
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,241
How many times has their
daughter run
286
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,623
This whole "I'm pregnant"
routine?
287
00:11:03,623 --> 00:11:06,086
Maybe they go all over the
country, michael,
288
00:11:06,086 --> 00:11:09,339
Looking for naive, big-headed
boys and rip off their families.
289
00:11:09,339 --> 00:11:11,752
Look, calm down, jay, okay?
290
00:11:11,752 --> 00:11:13,213
Just calm down.
291
00:11:13,213 --> 00:11:15,295
The bottom line is when the
baby gets here,
292
00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:17,387
We're gonna have to learn to
get along,
293
00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:19,009
Whether we like it or not.
294
00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:22,062
You know, maybe you should get
a brown jacket
295
00:11:22,062 --> 00:11:24,474
To match that yellow belly
of yours.
296
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:27,397
You know what?
You are so wrong about me, jay.
297
00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:29,309
I am not scared of calvin.
298
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:32,813
And just to prove it, I'm gonna
invite the scotts over,
299
00:11:32,813 --> 00:11:36,076
And I'm gonna lay down
the law, mike kyle style.
300
00:11:39,619 --> 00:11:41,281
You talking to me?
301
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:43,283
You talk --
you talking to me, cal?
302
00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:44,624
Yeah, I said it -- cal.
303
00:11:44,624 --> 00:11:46,326
I'll say it again -- cal.
304
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:48,208
C-a-l -- cal.
305
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,751
Calgary, california.
306
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,924
How about
califragilisticexpialidoofus?
307
00:11:53,924 --> 00:11:55,635
I ain't scared of you.
308
00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:57,097
Hey, mr. Kyle.
309
00:11:57,097 --> 00:11:59,259
Franklin, what's wrong with you,
sneaking up on me?
310
00:11:59,259 --> 00:12:01,431
You almost got
the monkey knuckle.
311
00:12:01,431 --> 00:12:03,804
The monkey knuckle?
What's the monkey knuckle?
312
00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:07,347
Didn't you watch jackie chan in
"baboon on the moon" --
313
00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:09,269
When he came out
the crater...
314
00:12:09,269 --> 00:12:11,111
[ Hooting ]
315
00:12:11,111 --> 00:12:14,234
...came up around this way
like that?
316
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,408
Are you anticipating
an altercation?
317
00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:21,701
Yeah, franklin, I may have to do
a little damage.
318
00:12:21,701 --> 00:12:25,535
I hope it's not the guy who
ripped up our deciduous oak tree
319
00:12:25,535 --> 00:12:28,999
And flipped our car, leaving a
big puddle of sweat.
320
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,332
Yeah, that would be him.
321
00:12:34,334 --> 00:12:35,876
You're not scared?
322
00:12:35,876 --> 00:12:37,928
Scared?
Come on, franklin.
323
00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:41,471
Why would I be scared of a 7'9",
365-pound linebacker
324
00:12:41,471 --> 00:12:45,265
That eats lobster without taking
it out of the shell?
325
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,308
I've been in your shoes
before, mr. Kyle...
326
00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:51,101
And they're really big
and stinky.
327
00:12:51,101 --> 00:12:54,104
[ Laughs ]
328
00:12:55,565 --> 00:12:58,488
Anyhow...
329
00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:01,111
I just so happen to have a lot
of experience
330
00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:02,782
Dealing with bullies.
331
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,404
What do you do?
332
00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:08,959
I run, but that's because I'm a
child, and I have no dignity.
333
00:13:08,959 --> 00:13:11,171
But you, on the other hand --
334
00:13:11,171 --> 00:13:13,914
You have people who look
up to you,
335
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:17,797
So, unfortunately, you're just
gonna have to face this monster,
336
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,800
Who will probably crush you like
a little baby beetle.
337
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,512
But not to worry --
338
00:13:22,512 --> 00:13:25,595
You have your superscary
monkey knuckle.
339
00:13:28,768 --> 00:13:31,351
You're not making this any
easier, franklin.
340
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:33,313
Yes, but I'm about to.
341
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,355
The fact of the matter is
342
00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:37,988
Throughout history,
there have been many occasions
343
00:13:37,988 --> 00:13:41,321
Where the underdog triumphs over
the seemingly unbeatable foe.
344
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,652
Name two.
345
00:13:42,652 --> 00:13:44,364
David and goliath.
346
00:13:44,364 --> 00:13:46,156
That's it.
347
00:13:46,156 --> 00:13:49,209
I'll just hit him in the head
with a rock.
348
00:13:49,209 --> 00:13:50,710
Of course!
349
00:13:50,710 --> 00:13:53,373
However...
350
00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:55,415
However what?
351
00:14:01,261 --> 00:14:02,762
You good?
352
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:04,094
Aaahhh!
353
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,926
Okay, baby, they're here.
They're here.
354
00:14:05,926 --> 00:14:08,228
Lay down the law.
You can do it.
355
00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:10,140
I'm david.
Tell me I'm david.
356
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,471
You're david.
357
00:14:11,471 --> 00:14:13,023
I got the rock right here.
358
00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:14,935
He's not coming in
this house
359
00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:17,107
Unless he give us our
money back.
360
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,399
I'm just gonna look him in
the eye.
361
00:14:19,399 --> 00:14:22,822
Calvin, I want --
my, my, my.
362
00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,985
That blood you have there
on your shirt?
363
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:27,487
Yeah, I just killed
a wolf.
364
00:14:27,487 --> 00:14:28,989
He killed a wolf.
365
00:14:28,989 --> 00:14:31,081
Did it bite you?
366
00:14:31,081 --> 00:14:32,082
I bit it.
367
00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:34,754
He bit it.
368
00:14:34,754 --> 00:14:37,757
I was changing a flat tire, and
he attacked me.
369
00:14:37,757 --> 00:14:41,131
Apparently, I had a ham sandwich
in my back pocket --
370
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,632
One thing led to another.
371
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:46,056
Say, jay, where your drinking
glasses at?
372
00:14:46,056 --> 00:14:48,008
Cabinet above the sink.
373
00:14:48,008 --> 00:14:50,810
Is that the wine
from last night?
374
00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:52,472
It's the same bottle,
375
00:14:52,472 --> 00:14:54,604
But I filled it with a different
kind of wine.
376
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:56,106
Can I use your bathroom?
377
00:14:56,106 --> 00:14:59,109
I got to get this wolf taste
out of my mouth.
378
00:14:59,109 --> 00:15:00,230
Upstairs.
379
00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:04,784
Huh?
380
00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:07,077
It's right upstairs to
the left.
381
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,749
That was unbelievable!
382
00:15:19,749 --> 00:15:23,043
He broke the rug, jay, and he
killed a wolf.
383
00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:26,136
It could have been
an entire flock.
384
00:15:26,136 --> 00:15:26,926
Pack.
385
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,308
Good idea.
386
00:15:28,308 --> 00:15:30,350
Let's get our stuff and get
out of here
387
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:32,642
Before the green mile
come back downstairs.
388
00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:36,606
Ooh, girl, I just can't get over
how beautiful your house is.
389
00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:38,898
Ooh, and I like your taste
in art.
390
00:15:38,898 --> 00:15:40,440
Is that an original?
391
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,941
That's a limited edition.
392
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,363
It's limited?
393
00:15:43,363 --> 00:15:46,066
Oh, those are really hard
to find.
394
00:15:46,066 --> 00:15:50,950
Oh, man, this ought to get that
wolf smell off of me.
395
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,333
That is my
expensive perfume.
396
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:54,834
Let me see that.
397
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:58,128
When did channel 5 start making
a perfume?
398
00:15:58,128 --> 00:16:00,080
Could you -- thank you.
399
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,133
We have a lot of things we need
to discuss today.
400
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:05,925
You're damn right, so let's get
right down to business.
401
00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:08,008
I have here a list of things
we're gonna need
402
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,549
Before the baby comes.
403
00:16:09,549 --> 00:16:12,352
Number one, a bigger house.
404
00:16:12,352 --> 00:16:13,723
A bigger house?
405
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,186
There's no place to put the baby
where we live now,
406
00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:17,977
Except on the balcony.
407
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:18,938
[ Both laugh ]
408
00:16:18,938 --> 00:16:20,480
What is she talking about?
409
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,022
What else is on this list?
410
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,024
Well, obviously, we're gonna
need new furniture,
411
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,316
Big-screen tv,
and a stereo system.
412
00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:28,948
And don't forget your
motorcycle, honey,
413
00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:30,990
With the sidecar, you know,
for the baby.
414
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,163
What do you need a
motorcycle for?
415
00:16:33,163 --> 00:16:36,246
So I can go back and forth and
pick up my disability check.
416
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,747
Duh!
417
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:41,291
None of the things you're asking
for are for the baby.
418
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,882
Duh!
419
00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:45,425
I know it seem that way.
It do.
420
00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:48,338
I'll be the first one
to admit that.
421
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:52,592
But it's only because the baby
gonna be living with us.
422
00:16:52,592 --> 00:16:57,057
So when do we take care of the
needs of the baby?
423
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,018
Well, I thought
you'd never ask.
424
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,690
Tell her, cal.
425
00:17:00,690 --> 00:17:03,353
No, you tell her.
I got my motorcycle already.
426
00:17:03,353 --> 00:17:06,025
Well, okay, the baby's
direct needs
427
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,149
Will be taken care of at
the baby shower,
428
00:17:09,149 --> 00:17:12,152
Which, by the way, is gonna work
real nice in this room here.
429
00:17:12,152 --> 00:17:14,074
Let me tell y'all
something, okay?
430
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:16,156
No, we got to hear
them out.
431
00:17:16,156 --> 00:17:18,208
I just thought of a couple of
other things
432
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:20,500
That they're probably gonna need
for the baby.
433
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,581
You did?
434
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:24,003
Yeah, like a brand-new
wardrobe.
435
00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:27,046
You don't want to make a bad
impression on your grandchild.
436
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,049
You got wolf blood all over you.
You don't want to scare the kid.
437
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,591
We hadn't thought of that.
438
00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:33,593
I did. I just didn't want
to sound greedy.
439
00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:35,935
How could you be greedy?
440
00:17:35,935 --> 00:17:38,438
You're just asking for what
you deserve.
441
00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:40,059
That's right!
442
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,271
Yeah. Okay.
443
00:17:41,271 --> 00:17:44,354
So, now, I'm supposed to pay for
all this, right,
444
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:48,108
Because it was my son that got
your virginal daughter pregnant.
445
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,819
That's right!
446
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,861
That's what I'm talking about.
447
00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:53,153
Well, sit down.
448
00:17:53,153 --> 00:17:55,115
Let me think about this.
449
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,577
Okay, so...
450
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,579
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
451
00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:05,084
Okay, all done.
452
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,127
The answer is...
453
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,589
Uh...
454
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,051
Uh...
455
00:18:12,051 --> 00:18:13,423
Uh...baby?
456
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:15,595
I'll help you.
Hold on, baby.
457
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,977
Hold on. I'm coming.
I'm coming.
458
00:18:17,977 --> 00:18:19,139
No.
459
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:22,772
Um, what was that?
460
00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:25,725
Baby, he didn't
understand me when I said --
461
00:18:25,725 --> 00:18:27,317
Well, let me try.
462
00:18:27,317 --> 00:18:28,728
Okay.
463
00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:30,069
Uh...
464
00:18:30,069 --> 00:18:32,071
It won't come out.
465
00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:33,653
Uh...
466
00:18:33,653 --> 00:18:35,365
Here, let me help.
467
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:39,118
[ Coughs ] no.
468
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,700
I don't understand.
469
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,912
I think what we're both trying
to say is...
470
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,003
Uh...uh...
471
00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:45,505
Well...
472
00:18:45,505 --> 00:18:47,627
Bring it, bring it,
bring it.
473
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,380
Uh...uh...uh...
474
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,842
No.
475
00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:56,015
I don't think I heard you
correctly.
476
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:58,057
Did you just say...
477
00:18:58,057 --> 00:18:59,599
Uh...uh...
478
00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:04,224
Bring it, bring it,
bring it, cal-cal.
479
00:19:04,224 --> 00:19:06,476
Uh...uh...uh...
480
00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:08,358
No?
481
00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:10,109
That's exactly what I said.
482
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:12,652
Now, you get this here
straight --
483
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,735
It was michael kyle, jr. That
got your daughter pregnant,
484
00:19:15,735 --> 00:19:17,327
Not us, okay?
485
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:20,410
If you want money, you take it
out of his $350 a week.
486
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,042
I wish our little girl would
have never gotten involved
487
00:19:23,042 --> 00:19:24,544
With his hook-headed son.
488
00:19:24,544 --> 00:19:27,627
Hey, let me tell you something
about my hook-headed son.
489
00:19:27,627 --> 00:19:30,750
He's got more character in just
the hook part of his head
490
00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:32,842
Than both of you guys
put together.
491
00:19:32,842 --> 00:19:35,215
And keep your negative comments
to yourself.
492
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,176
I could knock out in
one punch.
493
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,259
Yeah, you could.
494
00:19:39,259 --> 00:19:41,391
I won't refute that.
495
00:19:41,391 --> 00:19:43,353
But let me
tell you something --
496
00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:45,645
You may knock me out the first
time and the second time,
497
00:19:45,645 --> 00:19:48,308
The third, fourth, and fifth,
sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth,
498
00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:50,980
Tenth, eleventh, twelfth --
probably up to 75.
499
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:54,073
But then you're gonna get tired
and have to switch hands.
500
00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:56,155
That'll probably knock
me out, too.
501
00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:58,908
I'll probably just stay out for,
like, a month.
502
00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:00,910
But when I wake up, I'll have
a callus,
503
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:03,953
And the next time you hit me,
you'll hurt your hand,
504
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,125
And then I'm gonna call
the cops,
505
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:08,087
And that's gonna be your
third strike.
506
00:20:08,087 --> 00:20:10,169
Oh! Slow down.
507
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:15,635
We really don't need that
stereo system.
508
00:20:15,635 --> 00:20:18,047
And we could just knock off
the sidecar.
509
00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:20,430
No, we could just knock off this
whole scam.
510
00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:21,971
Now, get out of my house.
511
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,343
Bye-bye.
512
00:20:23,343 --> 00:20:25,475
We'll see you in
the delivery room.
513
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:27,056
We really are good people.
514
00:20:27,056 --> 00:20:29,108
Yeah, I know you're
good people.
515
00:20:29,108 --> 00:20:31,110
You just got to get
to know us.
516
00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:33,192
Yeah, I know.
That's what the wolf said.
517
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,655
Jasmine: I warned you about the
damn motorcycle!
518
00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:38,027
Didn't I tell you
it was over-the-top?
519
00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:39,489
I am so proud of you.
520
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,951
You really stood up
to them, baby.
521
00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:44,824
Now, that's the man
I know and love.
522
00:20:44,824 --> 00:20:46,916
Yeah, that's just a secret
of the monkey knuckle.
523
00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,628
Come on upstairs.
524
00:20:48,628 --> 00:20:50,790
I want to give you
some monkey tail.
525
00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:52,171
[ Laughs ]
526
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,506
Aah!
527
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:57,927
Aah!
528
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,091
Uh...uh...
529
00:21:02,091 --> 00:21:04,644
Bring it, bring it,
bring it, cal.
530
00:21:04,644 --> 00:21:06,976
Bring it, cal-cal.
Bring it.
531
00:21:06,976 --> 00:21:08,017
No?
532
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,560
That's exactly what I --
[ laughs ]
533
00:21:13,853 --> 00:21:15,695
Uh...uh...
534
00:21:15,695 --> 00:21:18,277
Cal-cal,
bring it, cal-cal.
535
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,449
Bring it, cal-cal.
No?
536
00:21:19,449 --> 00:21:20,450
Yes.
537
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,612
That's exact--
[ laughs ]
538
00:21:22,612 --> 00:21:24,404
Bring it, cal-cal!
539
00:21:24,404 --> 00:21:26,075
Uh...
38442
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