Original subtitles

[ GRUNTING ]

NOT INTERESTED IN FOOTBALL, HUH?

HEY, WHAT ABOUT GOLF?

ALL YOU NEED IS 600 MORE TEETH,

AND YOU COULD BE THE NEXT TIGER WOODS.

NO? OKAY, LOOK, BASKETBALL.

LOOK, THIS IS THE WAY SHAQUILLE O'NEAL DOES IT.

TURNS LEFT, THEN HE COMES UP.

BOOM! HANG ON THE RIM, BABY!

HERE, YOU TRY. YOU TRY.

TAKE A SHOT FOR GRANDPA.

JUST TAKE THE BALL AND THEN TAKE THE SHOT.

OH, REJECTED! BABY!

NOT IN MY HOUSE!

HEY, HEY, HEY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WAS TRYING TO SEE WHAT SPORT JUNIOR JR.'S GONNA PLAY.

BABE, HE CAN'T EVEN WALK YET.

HEY, WE GOT TO START EARLY, JAY.

DO YOU KNOW THAT A 17-YEAR-OLD GIRL WON WIMBLEDON?

WHAT'S SO AMAZING ABOUT THAT? SHE'S BEEN PLAYING

IT'S CALLED FETAL TRAINING.

THEY HAVE THEM...

[ IMITATING TENNIS BALL VOLLEYING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

JUNIOR JR.'S ALREADY TWO YEARS BEHIND, BABY.

I KNOW YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH YOUR GRANDSON ALL DAY,

BUT HERE... GOT TO GO TO WORK.

NO, I AM THE BOSS.

AND IF I WANT TO STAY AND PLAY WITH MY GRANDSON,

THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA DO, FIRE ME? [ LAUGHS ]

MOM, YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT KADY.

[ Sarcastically ] OH, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW?!

SHE'S BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR HOURS.

WELL, IS SHE SICK OR SOMETHING?

NO, SHE'S JUST IN THERE DOING HER GIRLY THING AGAIN

AND PUTTING ON MAKEUP AND TRYING OUT NEW HAIRSTYLES.

AS OPPOSED TO YOU,

WHO'S IN THERE ALL THAT TIME PLANNING WORLD PEACE, HUH?

[ LAUGHS ]

I HAVE A JOB. I HAVE SCHOOL.

PEOPLE DEPEND ON ME TO LOOK GOOD.

I'M CLAIRE KYLE.

SHE'S JUST GETTING READY TO GO PLAY IN THE DIRT.

DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT MY BABY.

LOOK AT MY BABY. SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY.

THANK YOU, MOMMY.

SHE SHOULD. IT TOOK HER A WEEK.

DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL.

I JUST HATE YOU 'CAUSE YOU'RE YOU.

I AM TIRED OF YOU TWO FIGHTING OVER THE BATHROOM.

FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE BOTH LIMITED TO 10 MINUTES IN THERE.

Both: 10 MINUTES?!

BUT, DAD, I NEED MORE TIME BECAUSE I'M A BEGINNER.

I NEED MORE TIME, TOO, BECAUSE...

BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY!

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

STOP THE NONSENSE!

10 MINUTES, AND THAT'S IT. END OF DISCUSSION.

ARG ARGH! H!

ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!

NOW THE MEAN AUNTIES ARE GONE, HUH?

LOOK AT HIM, JAY, HUH? HE LOVES HIS GRANDPA.

LOOK AT THOSE EYES. HE'S MAKING GOO-GOO EYES.

HE DOES LOOK CONTENT.

WAIT... PHEW! [ SNIFFS ]

OH, NO, THOSE ARE DOO-DOO EYES. HERE, HOLD HIM A SECOND.

I GOT TO GO GET HIS DIAPER BAG, OKAY?

I WONDER WHERE I PUT THE DIAPER BAG?

IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO TURN UP MISSING.

HEY!

MICHAEL!

[ SIGHS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

GOT A CERTIFIED LETTER HERE FOR ONE MICHAEL KYLE,

BETTER KNOWN AS MIKE LOVE.

WHOA, SESELIS, WHOA.

BOBBY SHAW.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING THOSE TINY SHORTS

WITH COWBOY BOOTS AND SPURS?

HEY, SUCKA MAN,

THIS IS IN MEMORY OF THE PONY EXPRESS,

AND THIS UNIFORM THAT YOU SPEAK OF

IS THE OFFICIAL UNIFORM OF THE COMPANY OF WHICH I REPRESENT...

HORSEY EXPRESS MESSENGERS.

[ WHINNIES ]

DOWN, SESELIS.

SO, YOU SAY YOU HAD SOMETHING FOR ME?

OH, YEAH, YEAH. MATTER OF FACT, I DO.

I HAVE A CERTIFIED, SEALED LETTER,

AND IT FEELS LIKE GOOD NEWS.

SO YOU THINK IT'S GOOD NEWS, HUH?

OH, YEAH. YEAH.

I'M PRETTY INTUITIVE ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING, REALLY,

AND I GOT A FEELING... A PREMONITION, IF YOU WILL...

THAT THIS IS GONNA BE MY LAST WEEK AS A MESSENGER.

OH, REALLY? AND WHY IS THAT?

BECAUSE MY THIRD EYE... AND MOST PEOPLE ONLY HAVE TWO.

YOU PROBABLY SEEN THAT YOURSELF...

MY THIRD EYE, MY SIXTH SENSE,

AND EVERY FIBER OF MY PARANORMAL BEING

IS TELLING ME THAT I... YES, I...

AM GONNA WIN THE LOTTERY.

HOW BIG IS THE JACKPOT?

HUH?

HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, A BUNCH OF THOUSANDS,

AND THEN... MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

AND WITH ANY LUCK,

NOBODY'S GONNA WIN THIS WEEK,

AND NEXT WEEK, IT'S GONNA BE EVEN BIGGER.

SO YOU BOUGHT A LOTTERY TICKET HOPING YOU DIDN'T WIN?

EXACTLY. I BOUGHT LIFE INSURANCE.

I'M HOPING I DON'T FALL OFF OF SESELIS AND DIE.

I MEAN, I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT LOGIC.

I DON'T NEED THE LOTTERY

BECAUSE I'M GONNA INHERIT ALL OF THIS WHEN YOU-KNOW-WHO DIES.

Shh!

OW! WHAT?

LET ME READ THIS LETTER.

"DEAR MR. KYLE,

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SUCCESS OF KYLE TRUCKING."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

"WE REPRESENT THE BOARD STREET-LEVEL EXPRESS."

BLAH, BLAH, BLEE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

"THE BOARD IS INTERESTED IN ACQUIRING KYLE TRUCKING."

YES! I KNEW THERE WAS GOOD...

KNEW THERE WAS GOOD NEWS IN THE AIR!

ME AND SESELIS TRIED TO TELL YOU.

SEE, MY VIBRATORY SENSES WAS ALL ATINGLE WHEN I CAME IN.

YOU PROBABLY SAW ME. I COULDN'T EVEN CONTROL SESELIS.

YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BE A CARRIER OF GOOD NEWS,

SOMETHING LIKE A LEPRECHAUN OR AN ELF OR A STORK

OR A DWARF OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I'M TELLING YOU, THERE'S MAGIC AFOOT.

♪ THERE'S MAGIC AFOOT, THERE'S MAGIC AFOOT ♪

CAN YOU FEEL IT? COME ON, SESELIS!

WE ARE OUT OF HERE. AIN'T GOT TO TAKE THIS.

COULD'VE SAID THANK YOU OR SOMETHING.

I DONE BROUGHT GOOD NEWS AND STUFF FOR YOU.

I... OH!

NO, MICHAEL. NO, YOU CAN'T SELL THE BUSINESS.

IT'S LIKE IT'S ONE OF OUR KIDS OR SOMETHING.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME IF SOMEONE MADE AN OFFER LIKE THAT

TO BUY ONE OF OUR KIDS, YOU WOULDN'T SELL 'EM?

MAYBE JUNIOR, BUT NOT THE BUSINESS.

BABY, I COULD START A WHOLE NEW CAREER.

LIKE WHAT, MICHAEL?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I CAN BE A MALE MODEL.

OR A KARATE TEACHER. KEE-HYAH!

OR A MALE MODEL.

OR A DANCER.

OR A MALE MODEL, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, THEY PAY OVER $500 AN HOUR JUST TO DO THIS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. I'M NOT FINISHED YET.

SEE, I WAS GETTING INTO THE POSE.

YOU GOT TO TURN THE HEAD. IT'S NOT UNTIL I TURN THE HEAD.

$500, JAY.

MICHAEL, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE REALLY GONNA DO.

YOU'RE GONNA HANG AROUND THIS HOUSE,

CLOCKING MY EVERY MOVE, DRIVING ME CRAZY.

AND WHERE'D YOU GET THAT FROM?

FROM THERESA.

WHEN HER HUSBAND RETIRED.D

YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? HE GAINED 200 POUNDS.

HE INSTALLED A PLASMA TV IN THE BATHROOM

ALONG WITH A SNACK-FOOD VENDING MACHINE.

A SNACK-FOOD VEN... THAT'S UNSANITARY.

MAYBE A BEER DISPENSER.

MICHAEL!

YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I DON'T WANT YOU HERE ALL THE TIME.

BABY, WE WON'T BE HERE ALL THE TIME.

CHECK THIS OUT...

WE COULD GO TO THE MOVIES AT 10:00

AND THEN MAKE LOVE AT 11:00.

WON'T WE STILL BE IN THE MOVIES AT 11:00?

THAT'S THE POINT.

LET DENZEL WATCH US FOR A CHANGE.

BABY, WE COULD DO ANYTHING.

WE'D BE FREE... ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, ANYWHERE.

I DON'T KNOW, MICHAEL, I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU THE BEST PART, JAY.

THE BEST PART IS WE GET THE CHANCE TO SPEND

ALL THE TIME WE WANT WITH LITTLE JUNIOR JR.

WE COULD TAKE HIM TO THE PARK. WE COULD TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO.

WE COULD TAKE HIM TO BASEBALL GAMES.

OH, THAT DOES SOUND GOOD.

YES. I GUESS THAT COULD WORK.

OH, OH, HE JUST THREW UP. HERE, HOLD HIM A SECOND.

LET ME GET SOMETHING TO WIPE THAT UP.

THAT'S NASTY.

NOW, WHERE DID I PUT THE PAPER TOWELS?

MICHAEL!

GOOD MORNING, BABY.

OH, GOOD MORNING, MRS. BABY.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BREAKFAST IN BED

TO START OFF THE BEST PART OF OUR LIVES?

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN. LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE.

WE HAVE SOME JUICE, A LITTLE COFFEE, AND A LITTLE...

[ LAUGHS ] YOU ALMOST GOT ME.

I ALSO BROUGHT YOU THE PHONE

SO THAT YOU CAN CALL STREET-LEVEL EXPRESS

AND CLOSE THAT DEAL.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK TOO ANXIOUS, OKAY, TO SELL.

I GOT TO SIT BACK AND TEASE THEM A LITTLE... WATCH.

I'M GONNA DIAL THREE NUMBERS, THEN HANG UP.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I JUST WANT TO SIT HERE, WATCH A LITTLE TV,

AND LET STREET-LEVEL MARINATE

ON BEING IN BUSINESS WITH KYLE TRUCKING.

THEY'RE GONNA MARINATE. THEY'RE GONNA MARINATE.

WE GOT THE MARINATING.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

IN FINANCIAL NEWS THIS MORNING,

STREET-LEVEL EXPRESS STOCK FELL 93%

AFTER REVELATIONS OF ACCOUNTING FRAUD,

TOTALING OVER $20 BILLION.

11 OF 12 BOARD MEMBERS HAVE BEEN ARRESTED AND JAILED.

AAH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THERE'S ONLY ONE BOARD MEMBER LEFT.

I GOT TO CALL HIM AND TRY TO MAKE THIS DEAL.

THE ONE REMAINING BOARD MEMBER

JUMPED OUT OF A STREET-LEVEL EXPRESS CARGO JET

SHORTLY BEFORE IT PLUNGED INTO THE SEA.

UM...

BABE?

BABE, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?

I GOT TO GO TO WORK.

THERE WILL BE OTHER OFFERS,

OTHER OFFERS, DAD.

NO, THERE WON'T!

OH, SURE THERE WILL. THIS IS A GOOD BUSINESS.

IF STREET-LEVEL EXPRESS WANTED IT,

SOMEBODY ELSE IS GONNA WANT IT.

I'M JUST LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.

YEAH, WELL, DON'T!

OKAY, DAD. I HATE TO SEE YOU THIS WAY.

YEAH, WELL, DON'T! I DON'T CARE!

I USED TO BE HAPPY RIGHT HERE AT KYLE TRUCKING

UNTIL I GOT THAT OFFER.

AND NOW THAT I TASTED THE SWEET NECTAR OF POSSIBILITY,

I FEEL STUCK!

WHOA, SESELIS!

WHOO!

WHOA, SESELIS!

DOWN, GIRL.

BOBBY SHAW AT YOUR DOOR, MIKE LOVE.

AS YOU CAN SEE,

♪ I GOT PRIDE IN MY GLIDE ♪

♪ I GOT PEP IN MY STEP

♪ I GOT FUR IN MY SPUR

♪ JUST STOPPED BY ON MY ROUTE ♪

♪ TO SEE HOW YOUR OFFER WORKED OUT ♪

NOT SO GOOD, BOBBY. THEY WENT OUT OF BUSINESS.

OH, MAN, I HATE HEARING THAT.

THIS IS AWFUL THERE.

WHOA, SESELIS, STAY.

STAY, NOW, STAY.

YOU KNOW... NEGATIVITY ALWAYS GETS ME DOWN PERSONALLY.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU THAT.

BUT I GOT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT JUST WORK OUT FOR YOU.

THIS WEEK, YOU COULD PLAY THE POWERBALL WITH ME,

AND THEN THAT WAY WE COULD WIN 'CAUSE I GOT THE GOOD NUMBERS.

COULD YOU...

THE VIEW IS NOT GOOD.

I HAD TO BUY THESE AT A CHILDREN'S STORE.

IN THE SMALL SECTION.

YOU SAY YOU GOT THE GOOD NUMBERS?

YES, SON OF LOVE, THE GOOD NUMBERS.

I'VE BEEN PLAYING THEM FOR 11 YEARS NOW.

SO, IN ALL THESE YEARS,

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE THESE NUMBERS WON?

HUH? NEVER.

SO, HOW COULD THEY BE GOOD NUMBERS IF THEY KEEP LOSING?

STOP QUESTIONING ME, SUCKA MAN!

LOOK, IT'S THE LAW OF AVERAGES. THE MORE THEY LO...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH SESELIS?!

YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BOY.

THAT'S NO RUN-OF-THE-MILL HORSE THERE.

ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, SUCKA MAN AND SUCKA MAN JR.,

IT'S THE LAW OF AVERAGES, OKAY?

EVERY TIME THEY LOSE, THEY ARE CLOSER TO WINNING.

AND RIGHT NOW, THEY'VE BEEN LOSING SO LONG

THAT THEY ARE THIS CLOSE TO WINNING.

WELL, I UNDERSTAND THAT,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA THROW MY MONEY AWAY ON YOUR PIPE DREAM.

ALL RIGHT, THEN. SUIT YOURSELF.

REMEMBER THIS, THOUGH. REMEMBER THESE TWO WORDS.

IT'S MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, MIKE LOVE... MILLIONS!

OKAY?

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE.

IF YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND,

I'LL BE WHERE I ALWAYS AM AROUND THIS TIME...

HAVING MY LUNCH AT THE HOT DOG STAND

AND FEEDING MY BELOVED STEED, WHO NOBODY SHOULD BE TOUCHING.

TALLYHO, SESELIS!

WATCH THE DOOR, SESELIS, WATCH IT!

COME ON, CLAIRE, TIME'S UP!

YOU'RE SIX SECONDS INTO OVERTIME!

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT IS GOING ON?

CLAIRE'S 10 MINUTES ARE UP,

AND SHE WON'T COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM.

I'M NOT QUITE DONE, MOM.

MY HUSBAND SAID 10 MINUTES, AND IT'S BEEN...

10 MINUTES AND 17 SECONDS AND COUNTING.

18, MISSISSIPPI...

19, MISSISSIPPI... 20, MISSISSIPPI...

GIVE ME THE CLOCK. DONE WITH COUNTING WITH YOU.

MOM, IT TAKES ME LONGER THAN 10 MINUTES TO DO MY HAIR.

YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

BEFORE YOU STARTED COMPLAINING ABOUT KADY.

NOW, OPEN UP THE DOOR.

WHOA!

I CAN'T GO OUT WITH TONY LOOKING LIKE THIS.

[ LAUGHS ] SURE YOU CAN, BABY.

IT'LL BE A GOOD WAY TO FIND OUT IF TONY LIKES YOU.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I LOOK LIKE A FREAK.

YES... NO.

NO, CLAIRE.

NOW, LOOK, LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING, BABY.

NOW, SOMEDAY YOU'LL GET OLD,

AND YOU'LL LOSE YOUR LOOKS, AND THEN WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU TELL ME.

OH, NO, SHE DIDN'T.

YES, SHE DID.

LOOK, CAN I JUST GO BACK TO FIXING MY HAIR?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, LOOK, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE IN THIS.

IF THE TWO OF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT YOUR PROBLEM BY YOURSELVES,

PLEASE BE MY GUEST.

OKAY. I HAVE A COMPROMISE.

LET'S HEAR IT.

CLAIRE COULD GO OUT WEARING HALF A HAT.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

WHAT IF I LET YOU USE MY LIP GLOSS FOR AN EXTRA 10 MINUTES?

FIVE. DEAL.

LOVELY. CARRY ON.

YOU'VE GOT FOUR MINUTES AND 59 SECONDS AND COUNTING!

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHO IS BOBBY SHAW. IT?

JUST TELL HIM I'M NOT HERE.

MY DAD TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THAT HE'S NOT HERE.

HELLO, BOBBY.

HELLO, MIKE LOVE.

HOW YOU DOING THERE, BOBBY?

NOT TOO GOOD, YOUNG LOVE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WELL, AS IT TURNS OUT,

MY INTUITION FAILED ME AS REGARDS TO THE POWERBALL.

YOU DIDN'T WIN?

NO...

I WON TWICE AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA WIN, MIKE LOVE!

LOOK, LOOK.

NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE AS MUCH!

TWICE!

TWICE! WON!

♪ I WON, I WON, I WON, I WON ♪

♪ I WON, I WON, I WON, I WON ♪

I WON... THE LOTTO!

SO, LET ME GET THIS RIGHT. YOU WON?

I WON, YES! NOW WE BOTH SAID IT.

MAN, I AM RICH. I AM RICH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CH!

I SPELL IT R-I-C-H-H-H-H-H-H 'CAUSE I'M RICH.

GOT IT?

WELL, THAT'S GREAT, BOBBY. CONGRATULATIONS.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

THANK YOU, MIKE LOVE.

BUT, GO ON. TELL THE TRUTH NOW.

AREN'T YOU JUST A EENSY-WEENSY, TEENSY-WEENSY,

YELLOW-POLKA-DOT-BIKINI JEALOUS OF ME?

NOT AT ALL. WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS?

WELL, I MEAN, YOU DID HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY

TO PARTICIPATE IN HALF... THAT'S 50%...

OF MY PRIZE-WINNING POWERBALL DUCAT, WHICH YOU DECLINED.

OH, YES.

I OFFERED YOU A RIDE ON MY GOLDEN CHARIOT...

OF GOLDEN GOOD NUMBERS, AND YOU MOCKED IT.

YES, YOU DID. YOU MOCKED IT,

AND YOU REFUSED MY EXTENDED GLOVE OF PEACE

BECAUSE OF YOUR LONG-HELD ANTIPATHY FOR MY PERSONAGE.

I HAVE NO ANTIPATHY FOR YOUR PERSONAGE, BOBBY.

I HAVE NOTHING BUT HAPPY THOUGHTS

AND WELL WISHES FOR YOU.

SINCERELY?

YEAH, TRULY.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT MONEY?

WELL, I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

WHEN I WAS A SMALL CHILD...

I MUST'VE BEEN NO BIGGER THAN THIS RIGHT HERE...

WHEN I WAS A SMALL CHILD,

MY COUSIN, ESMELDA ROSE AND I...

ESMELDA ROSE?

ESMELDA ROSE AND I...

BOBBY, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

PLEASE DON'T INTERRUPT ME IN MY LIFE STORY.

YOU DO WANT TO HEAR THIS. WE WERE PLAYING A GAME.

IT WAS CALLED CARS AND TRUCKS, OKAY?

ESMELDA LIKED THE CARS. ME, I LIKED THE TRUCKS.

I LIKED THE BIG TRUCKS. I LIKED THE SMALL TRUCKS.

I LIKED THE LONG TRUCKS. I LIKED THE SHORT TRUCKS.

I LIKED GARBAGE TRUCKS. I LIKED FIRE TRUCKS.

I LIKED TRUCKS WITH 4 WHEELS, 8 WHEELS, 16 WHEELS.

I LIKED HIPPIES THAT SAID, "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'."

I LIKED EVERYTHING THAT HAD TO DO WITH TRUCKS.

DO YOU GET THE GIST OF MY STORY, MIKE LOVE?

YES, YOU LIKED TRUCKS.

YES, YOU ARE GETTING IT. I LIKE TRUCKS.

AND WHAT BUSINESS ARE YOU IN, MIKE LOVE?

THE TRUCKING BUSINESS.

THE TRUCKING BUSINESS.

AND YOU DO WANT TO SELL SAID BUSINESS, DO YOU NOT?

WELL, YOU WANT TO BUY MY BUSINESS?

LOCK, STOCK, AND BOTH SMOKING BARRELS.

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE TRUCKING BUSINESS, BOBBY.

WHAT'S THERE TO KNOW? I KNOW TWO SIMPLE THINGS...

I LIKE TRUCKS. I GOT BUCKS.

YEAH, SEE, AND IF YOU BUY IT,

YOU CAN HIRE ME TO RUN IT FOR YOU.

NO!

RUN IT WHERE... INTO THE GROUND?

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

THAT'S A FROWN... A SMILE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN.

NOW, TURN AROUND, SIT DOWN.

RIGHT NOW.

IS THERE MORE? CHOW TOW.

OKAY. YOU KNOW, BOBBY,

THROUGH THE YEARS YOU AND I HAVE NEVER REALLY SEEN EYE TO EYE.

IF YOU SINCERELY WANT TO BUY MY BUSINESS,

THEN I SINCERELY WANT TO SELL IT.

I SINCERELY WANT TO BUY IT, MIKE LOVE.

WELL, LET'S SIT DOWN AND HASH OUT A DEAL.

HEY, HAVE YOU HAD LUNCH? NO.

WE COULD HAVE LUNCH AT THE HOT DOG STAND.

WE COULD HAVE A FRANKFURTER AND SOME BUBBLY.

FRANKS AND BUBBLY. YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE I OWN IT! I OWN IT!

COME ON AND SEE WHAT I OWN.

IT'S NICE AND SHINY AND EVERYTHING.

BOBBY SHAW'S TRUCKING. VROOM!

OH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE HERE.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE AT LUNCH.

[ LAUGHS ]

YEAH, I GOT LUNCH RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE.

MATTER OF FACT, YOU'RE RIGHT ON TIME.

WOULD YOU CARE FOR ANY FRANKS AND BUBBLY?

IT'S ALL BEEF. ALL-BEEF FRANKS THERE.

UH... NO, THANKS.

DON'T THEY GIVE YOU GAS?

ON OCCASION, BUT THERE AIN'T NOBODY IN HERE BUT ME.

WELL, I WAS JUST DROPPING OFF YOUR KEYS.

THANKS SO MU...

YOU KNOW... HEY, YOU KNOW, WHILE YOU'RE HERE,

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT COMPANY NAMES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS... POWERBALL SHIPPING?

SOUNDS STRONG AND GAY.

YOU GOT A POINT. I GOT SLOGANS, THOUGH.

AND THE SLOGANS TAKE THE GAYNESS OUT OF IT.

WATCH THIS.

"POWERBALL SHIPPING.

IF WE LOSE YOUR PACKAGE, WE AIN'T SHIPPED."

[ LAUGHS ]

BOBBY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS YOUR COMPANY.

YOU MAKE THE DECISIONS YOU WANT. I'M GOING HOME.

ALL RIGHT. SO LONG.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE YOU, MIKE, LOVE, AND NOW I AM.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET A SMALLER CHAIR

WHERE MY FEET TOUCH THE GROUND.

Y-YOU CAN LEAVE THAT.

NO FAMILY ORALLY NOTHING.E

BABY, I'M IN HEAVEN. I GET UP WHENEVER I WANT.

I HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE.

I STAND ON THE LAWN, WAVE GOODBYE TO THE KIDS,

AND THEN COME BACK AND PLAY WITH MY GRANDSON.

[ Baby talk ] THIS IS PARADISE. I'M IN PARADISE.

YOU ARE REALLY HAPPY, AREN'T YOU, BABY?

[ Normal voice ] OH, I AM SO HAPPY, BABY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE GREAT THING IS?

BOBBY SHAW HOOKED JUNIOR UP WITH A JOB FOR LIFE.

DOING WHAT?

JUNIOR?

Michael: THAT'S THE UNIFORM, BABY.

[ LAUGHS ]

WELL, I'M OFF TO WORK.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, BOY?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW?

UHH!

THANK YOU.

NOW, YOU GO ON TO WORK

AND HAVE AN A-B-C-DELIGHTFUL DAY.

I SURE WILL.

TALLYHO, UBIQUITOUS, SON OF SESELIS.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MAN. I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

[ SMOOCHES ]

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT FROM? UM...

AND WHERE'D YOU GET THAT FROM? THERESA.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT FROM?

[ LAUGHS ]

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT FROM? THERES A.

THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HER WHEN HER HUSBAND RETIRED.

HE GAINED 200 POUNDS. HE INSTALLED A PLASMA...

Man: PLASMA TV...

YES, SHE HAS IT.

YES.