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1
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:05,137
OKAY, THIS IS A BIG DAY.
2
00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:06,878
YOUR MOTHER'S
GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,273
AND SHE'S REALLY STRESSED OUT.
4
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,119
SO I NEED YOU GUYS TO BE
ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR
5
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:12,378
AND HELP ME MAKE THIS DAY
RUN AS SMOOTHLY AS POSSIBLE.
6
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:14,113
DAD, YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
7
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:15,581
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE.
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,962
I DON'T SEE
WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.
9
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,050
I WASN'T NERVOUS WHEN
I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
10
00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:21,954
THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU HAD
EIGHT YEARS TO PREPARE.
11
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,623
[ LAUGHS MOCKINGLY ]
12
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:26,792
NOW, LOOK.
13
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,428
YOUR MOTHER HAS WORKED
REALLY HARD FOR THIS,
14
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,363
AND WE'VE ALL
MADE SACRIFICES.
15
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:32,942
AND TODAY
WE'RE CELEBRATING THAT.
16
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,643
NOW, YOU ALL HAVE
YOUR ASSIGNMENTS, RIGHT?
17
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,445
JUNIOR, DID YOU PICK UP
THAT BEAUTY RECIPE MAKEUP
18
00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:37,669
THAT YOUR MOTHER ASKED FOR?
19
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,004
GOT IT
AND PUT IT IN HER ROOM.
20
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,073
GOOD JOB.
Jay: AAH!
21
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,918
I KNOW THAT SOUND,
AND THAT'S NOT GOOD...
22
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:44,743
ESPECIALLY IF
I'M NOT IN THE ROOM.
23
00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:48,547
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED?
24
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:49,515
THIS!
25
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,250
OH, MY GOD!
26
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,485
I MEAN, OH, MY GOD.
27
00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:55,721
OH, MY GOD.
28
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:58,290
IS IT THAT BAD?
NO... IS IT?
29
00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:00,092
OF COURSE IT IS, MICHAEL!
30
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:02,428
LOOK AT ME!
MY FACE IS A SPLOTCHY MESS!
31
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,064
I LOOK LIKE I SHOULD BE
IN A "THRILLER" VIDEO.
32
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,632
NO, YOU DON'T.
YES, I DO.
33
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,667
NO, YOU DON'T.
YES, I DO.
34
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,502
WELL, DO THIS.
35
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,442
IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME, MICHAEL.
36
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,953
IT'S REALLY NOT A GOOD TIME
FOR ME RIGHT NOW.
37
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,121
I'M JUST TRYING
TO ADD SOME LEVITY.
38
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,513
OKAY, MICHAEL, THIS IS
A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM!
39
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:23,159
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
GRADUATING TODAY!
40
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,716
WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
41
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,820
IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK
THAT QUESTION BECAUSE...
42
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,888
YOU REMEMBER WHEN I ASKED YOU
43
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,734
TO GO PICK UP
MY BEAUTY RECIPE MAKEUP?
44
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,602
BEAUTY RECIPE MAKEUP...
I GOT IT. YOU DIDN'T GET IT?
45
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:34,626
OH, I GOT IT.
46
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,495
OH, I GOT IT.
I WANT YOU TO READ THIS.
47
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,797
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE
"RECIPE" TO YOU?
48
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,299
"REST IN PEACE."
49
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,533
"REST IN PEACE."
50
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,135
"REST IN PEACE," MICHAEL.
51
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:46,371
THAT MAKEUP IS CADAVER MAKEUP.
IT'S FOR CORPSES.
52
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,874
THIS IS DEAD PEOPLE MAKEUP,
MICHAEL!
53
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,409
DEAD PEOPLE...
AND LOOK AT THIS.
54
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,010
THIS IS THE PART
THAT REALLY GETS ME.
55
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,952
IT TAKES ME OUT THE GAME.
OKAY, RIGHT HERE.
56
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:56,949
THIS SAYS "WORMPROOF,
57
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,651
MOSS RESISTANT,
MAGGOT REPELLENT."
58
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,320
"MAGGOT REPELLENT"!
59
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,655
WELL, LOOK,
IN ALL FAIRNESS TO ME, BABY,
60
00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,724
I DIDN'T ACTUALLY
BUY IT MYSELF.
61
00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:07,626
I DELEGATED
THE AUTHORITY TO JUNIOR,
62
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:11,163
AND HE WENT OUT... WHAT?
63
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,664
YOU GAVE JUNIOR THE AUTHORITY
64
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:14,333
OVER SOMETHING
THAT GOES ON MY FACE?
65
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:15,901
[ STAMMERS ] I-I-I...
66
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,036
LOOK AT MY FACE, MICHAEL!
LOOK AT MY FACE.
67
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,005
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK,
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
68
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:21,784
OKAY, I DIDN'T THINK
ANYTHING COULD GO WRONG.
69
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,810
NO, YOU DIDN'T THINK, MICHAEL.
YOU DIDN'T THINK AT ALL!
70
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,712
I WAS DEAD WRONG.
LOOK AT MY FACE!
71
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,515
OH, LORD.
72
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,150
LOOK AT MY...
73
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,919
FACE!
74
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,955
OH, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
75
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:39,558
WELL, CAN YOU DO THIS?
LOOK.
76
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,760
YOU BETTER RUN.
77
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:43,395
AND YOU BETTER RUN FAST!
78
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,497
OW!
79
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,188
Michael:
JUNIOR, GET IN HERE!
80
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,470
WHAT'S GOING ON?
81
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,738
WHAT HAPPENED?
82
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,250
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S GOING ON.
83
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,975
YOUR MOTHER SENT DOWN
A LITTLE GIFT FOR JUNIOR.
84
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:58,554
OH, A GIFT,
AND IT'S NOT EVEN MY GRADUATION.
85
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,222
THAT'S RIGHT.
PICK A HAND, SON.
86
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,857
UH, THE LEFT?
THE LEFT?
87
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,849
OH, GUESS IT MUST
BE THE RIGHT.
88
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:05,528
THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S THE RIGHT.
89
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:06,919
WHAT DID HE DO?
90
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,464
THE BOY BOUGHT HIS MOTHER
DEAD PEOPLE'S MAKEUP.
91
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,122
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
92
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:11,757
WHAT?
93
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,203
BOY, LET'S MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN'T
SCREWED UP ANYTHING ELSE.
94
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,762
DID YOU PICK UP THE CAMERA
AND GET YOUR MOTHER'S GIFT?
95
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,307
YES, I DID
EVERYTHING YOU ASKED, DAD,
96
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:20,933
EXCEPT FOR THOSE TWO THINGS.
97
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,668
THERE WASN'T
ANYTHING ELSE TO DO.
98
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,336
OH, UH,
YEAH, YEAH, THERE WAS.
99
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,772
[ LAUGHING ]
100
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,841
Shh, shh.
101
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,244
BOY, GO GET THE STUFF.
102
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,522
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GET THE STUFF.
103
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,047
GO ON, GO ON.
GO ON, GIRL.
104
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,615
NOT THAT STUFF, BOY.
105
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,483
MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM,
106
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,519
MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM.
107
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,288
CLAIRE, LET'S PUT THIS THING
BACK ON TRACK, ALL RIGHT?
108
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,267
DID YOU PICK UP YOUR MOTHER'S
DRESS FROM THE TAILOR? CHECK.
109
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,124
DID YOU GET THE SHOES?
CHECK.
110
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,626
THE PURSE? THE EARRINGS?
CHECK.
111
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,262
HOW DID YOU PAY FOR IT?
CHECK.
112
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:51,396
[ LAUGHS ]
113
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:52,531
NO?
114
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,466
NO.
115
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,579
GO PICK UP YOUR MOTHER'S CAP
AND GOWN. HERE'S THE RECEIPT.
116
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:57,843
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT A THING, DAD.
117
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,504
OKAY.
118
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,939
[ SIGHS ]
119
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,618
IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO, DADDY?
120
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,186
YES, WHY DON'T YOU GO
IN YOUR MOTHER'S ROOM
121
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,811
AND TELL HER
HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE LOOKS?
122
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,046
OKAY.
123
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,248
MOM, YOU LOOK...
124
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,682
AAH! AAH!
125
00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:13,986
AAAAAAH!
126
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,491
ALL RIGHT, CRAIG.
I HOPE EVERYTHING GOES GOOD.
127
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,560
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
128
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,062
HEY, HOW DID IT GO?
TELL ME IT WENT WELL.
129
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:25,430
IT WENT WELL.
I GOT THE CAMERA.
130
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,666
YEAH, YEAH,
AND I GOT THE GIFT.
131
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,545
FROM THE LOOKS OF YOUR CLOTHES,
THAT'S NOT ALL YOU GOT.
132
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:32,237
PRINTING THAT
RECEIPT UP, BABY.
133
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,506
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
YOU KNOW.
134
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,342
[ LAUGHING ]
135
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,044
OKAY.
136
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,880
PERFECT. THIS IS
EXACTLY THE ONE I ORDERED.
137
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,149
YES, IT IS BETTER
THAN PERFECT, DAD.
138
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,218
SEE, I THOUGHT
A DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED BRACELET
139
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,020
WOULD BE JUST
A TAD TOO PLAIN.
140
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,689
SO I TOOK THE LIBERTY
OF HAVING IT ENGRAVED.
141
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,491
OH, NO.
YOU DIDN'T.
142
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,426
WHY DOES EVERYBODY
ALWAYS SELL ME SHORT?
143
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,795
I CAN DO THINGS.
I DON'T ALWAYS SCREW UP.
144
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,264
I'M AFRAID
TO LOOK AT THIS.
145
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:03,335
DAD, ALL IT SAYS IS
"CONGRATULATIONS, MOM."
146
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,936
OH, WELL...
147
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,539
MY MOTHER IS NOT
GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE.
148
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,142
YOUR MOTHER IS.
MY WIFE IS GRADUATING.
149
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,311
NOT YOUR MAMA?
NOT MY MOTHER.
150
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,746
GUESS I SCREWED UP, HUH?
151
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,815
WELL, I GUESS THE GIFT
WILL HAVE TO BE FROM ME.
152
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,517
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GET HER?
153
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:19,995
OH, I ALREADY
GOT HER SOMETHING.
154
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:21,219
OOH,
THEN I'M OFF THE HOOK.
155
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,961
YES, YOU ARE.
WHICH HAND?
156
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,923
UH... HEY, HEY,
157
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,858
MOVING TOO FAST,
MOVING TOO FAST.
158
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,061
THE LEFT?
159
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,263
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE'S GOING FOR THIS AGAIN.
160
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:34,066
I GUESS
IT MUST BE THE RIGHT.
161
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,634
OW!
162
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,870
HEY, WHAT KIND OF GIFT IS THAT
TO GIVE TO MY MAMA, HUH?!
163
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:42,074
COME ON, VANESSA.
LET'S GO.
164
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,210
HEY, HEY, HEY.
WHERE'S THE CAP AND GOWN?
165
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:47,913
SEE, I'M ONE STEP AHEAD
OF EVERYBODY ELSE.
166
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,225
I KNEW IF I WAS TO BRING THAT
CAP AND GOWN INTO THE HOUSE,
167
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:52,117
THAT SOMEBODY WAS GONNA
SPILL SOMETHING ON IT.
168
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,119
AND BESIDES,
I KNOW MOM SAYS SHE LIKES
169
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,655
WHEN CLOTHES ARE CARESSED BY
THE WIND AND KISSED BY THE SUN.
170
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:58,890
SO I LEFT IT OUTSIDE
ON THE SWING SET,
171
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,559
OUT OF HARM'S WAY.
172
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,993
GREAT.
173
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,730
ALL RIGHT, SOMEBODY AROUND HERE
IS THINKING.
174
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,311
HEY, DAD.
WHAT?
175
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,333
I JUST WANT TO APOLOGIZE
FOR MESSING UP EARLIER.
176
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,969
SO, TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU,
I TOOK THE INITIATIVE
177
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,638
OF TURNING ON THE SPRINKLER
SYSTEM FOR YOU NOW, SO...
178
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:14,740
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
179
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:18,810
HEY, DAD... 3, 2, 1.
180
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,512
[ SPRINKLER TURNS ON ]
181
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,351
WELL, NOW THAT I'M ON A ROLL,
182
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:29,721
I'M GONNA GO GIVE MY MAMA
HER DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED BRACELET.
183
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:33,792
HEY, MAMA!
LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU!
184
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,061
AAH!
185
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,137
[ SIGHS ]
186
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,006
OOH.
187
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:49,585
BABE, YOU WANT TO HEAR
SOMETHING FUNNY?
188
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,042
OH, MY EYE!
OH, MY GOD.
189
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,855
BABY, I'M SORRY.
LET ME SEE.
190
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,746
NO!
STAY AWAY FROM ME!
191
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,314
STAY AWAY FROM ME.
192
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,716
HYAH!
193
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,284
GET AWAY FROM ME.
194
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,586
EVERY TIME YOU COME NEAR ME,
SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS.
195
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,532
FIRST YOU PUT CORPSE CREAM
ALL OVER MY FACE.
196
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,557
NOW YOU PROBABLY GAVE ME
A BLACK EYE.
197
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,569
WHAT'S NEXT? YOU GONNA
THROW ME DOWN THE STAIRS?
198
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,561
SHAKE ME?
YOU GONNA SHAKE ME, IKE?
199
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,430
GONNA ROLL ME
DOWN THE RIVER?
200
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,632
HUH?
201
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:14,933
WHAT YOU GONNA DO, IKE?
202
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,402
YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T
INTENTIONALLY TRY TO HURT YOU.
203
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,770
NO... INTENTIONALLY, NO.
204
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,338
BUT SUBCONSCIOUSLY,
205
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,141
YOU'RE A HIT MAN WITH A CONTRACT
OUT ON ME, BROTHER.
206
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,443
YOU KNOW...
207
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,411
SOMETIMES I WISH
I WOULDN'T HAVE PAID
208
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,424
FOR ALL THOSE PSYCHOLOGY CLASSES
THAT YOU TOOK.
209
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,415
AHA! AHA!
"PAID."
210
00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:33,418
FINALLY YOUR FACE CRACKS OPEN
AND THE LIZARD COMES OUT!
211
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,153
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING...
212
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:37,232
YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
FACES NOW, 'CAUSE THAT...
213
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:39,591
[ STAMMERS ] BOY!
214
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:43,094
NOW, YOU NEVER EVER WANTED ME
TO GO TO COLLEGE, DID YOU?
215
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,763
NO, I DIDN'T.
216
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:46,108
UH-HUH, AND NOW
THAT I'M GRADUATING,
217
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,243
YOU'RE TAKING THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO MAKE A MOCKERY
218
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:49,678
OUT OF ALL THE WORK
THAT I'VE DONE.
219
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,380
THAT IS NOT TRUE.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
220
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,671
I AM PROUD OF YOU.
221
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,606
I'M SUPPORTING YOU,
ALL YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
222
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,074
OH, REALLY?
223
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,844
THEN WHAT'S MY CAP AND GOWN
DOING OUT IN THE SPRINKLERS?
224
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,480
[ Imitating Scooby Doo ]
RUH-ROH.
225
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,850
CLAIRE SAID THAT
IT WAS BEING KISSED BY THE SUN.
226
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,252
UH-HUH.
OH, IT'S ON NOW.
227
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,020
OH, NO, THE GLOVES COME OFF.
228
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,455
THERE IS NO DENYING
229
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,691
THAT YOU'RE TRYING
TO SABOTAGE MY DAY, MICHAEL.
230
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,227
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART
OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
231
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,105
YOU ARE TELLING ME
THAT YOU'RE NOT DOING
232
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:18,974
WHAT I CAN CLEARLY SEE
THAT YOU ARE DOING
233
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,600
WITH THE ONE GOOD EYE
I GOT LEFT!
234
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,344
[ SIGHS ]
235
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,079
WELL?
DON'T WORRY, DAD.
236
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,882
I TOOK CARE OF THE PROBLEM
WITH THE CAP AND GOWN.
237
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,718
I JUST PUT THE GOWN IN THE DRYER
AND THE CAP IN THE MICROWAVE...
238
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:40,919
WITH POPCORN.
239
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,656
DO YOU KNOW
THAT IT'S 100% COTTON?
240
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,392
ALL I KNOW IS IT WAS 100% WET.
THEY'LL BE FINE.
241
00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,338
BESIDES, IF THEY SHRINK
A LITTLE, THEY SHRINK A LITTLE.
242
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,428
AT LEAST IT WILL BE DRY.
243
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,696
OOH! POPCORN.
244
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:52,631
HA HA.
245
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,399
HELLO, ALL.
246
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,101
HELLO, MUMFORD.
HOW'S IT GOING?
247
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,269
STUPENDOUSLY.
248
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,114
I JUST GOT BACK
FROM THE AUDITORIUM,
249
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,073
AND I RESERVED THE BEST
CAMERA POSITION AND SOME SEATS.
250
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:03,475
AND HOW
DID YOU MANAGE THAT?
251
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,477
WELL, I HAVE SOME PULL
252
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,846
AT THE
FRANKLIN ALOYSIUS MUMFORD HALL.
253
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,814
THEY NAMED A HALL AFTER YOU?
254
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,083
NOT JUST THE HALL,
THE WHOLE BUILDING.
255
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,753
I'M TELLING YOU,
THEY LIKE ME A HALL OF A LOT.
256
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:17,422
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
257
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,674
ALL RIGHT,
MY GRANDFATHER PAID FOR IT.
258
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,299
HEY, FRANKLIN.
259
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,767
HELLO, MY LOVE.
260
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:31,269
DON'T YOU LOOK PRETTY
IN YOUR DRESS, KADY?
261
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,305
THAT'S REALLY CUTE.
262
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,217
IT DOESN'T MAKE ME LOOK FAT,
DOES IT?
263
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,242
WELL, ROSEBUD, IN MY EYES,
264
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,444
YOU'RE ALWAYS
THE PARADIGM OF PERFECTION.
265
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,514
BUT THAT DRESS DOES MAKE YOU
SEEM A TRIFLE ELEPHANTINE.
266
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,618
[ CRIES ]
267
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,353
WHAT DID I SAY?
268
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,822
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WHAT DID YOU SAY, FRANKLIN?
269
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,190
EVEN I'M NOT THAT DUMB.
270
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,169
WHEN VANESSA WAS REALLY FAT,
I NEVER TOLD HER SO.
271
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:55,794
YOU THOUGHT I WAS FAT?
272
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:58,330
WELL, GOD,
EVERYBODY SAW THAT.
273
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,365
GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
274
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:01,933
THAT WAS... WHOO!
275
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,636
THAT SCARED ME.
276
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:05,804
GLAD IT CAME OFF.
277
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,872
THAT WASN'T FAT.
278
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,075
THAT WAS THE MASSIVE HEAD
OF YOUR CHILD
279
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,043
THAT DISTORTED MY BODY
AND MADE ME LOOK
280
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:14,264
LIKE I WAS STANDING IN FRONT
OF A FUN-HOUSE MIRROR!
281
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,081
OH, OH, BABY, I'M SORRY.
282
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,749
YOU WASN'T FAT.
283
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,751
I'M SORRY!
284
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,120
WHY DID YOU
SAY THAT TO KADY?
285
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,489
WELL, RELATIONSHIPS ARE BASED
286
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,524
ON LOVE
AND HONEST, OPEN COMMUNICATION.
287
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,860
SHE ASKED ME A QUESTION,
AND I ANSWERED HER TRUTHFULLY.
288
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,372
YOU KNOW WHAT...
YOU MAY BE A GENIUS,
289
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,097
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN.
290
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,566
SEE, THEY CAN
NEVER BE SKINNY ENOUGH.
291
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,901
WELL, HOW DO YOU PROPOSE
I RECTIFY THE SITUATION?
292
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,904
YOU GO UP THERE
AND YOU LIE LIKE A DOG.
293
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:43,041
AND THAT IS WHY YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE ANYTHING NAMED AFTER YOU,
294
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:45,644
BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE YOU
A HALL OF A LOT.
295
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,946
[ LAUGHS ]
296
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:50,782
HEY, BROTHER.
297
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:53,084
I KNOW WHEN MY JOKE BOMBS.
298
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,593
KADY, I'M SORRY.
PLEASE COME OUT AND TALK TO ME.
299
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:04,195
I CAN'T. MY BUTT
WON'T FIT THROUGH THE DOOR.
300
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:07,465
HONEY, I WAS KIDDING.
YOU'RE A SYLPH.
301
00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:09,934
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
ARE YOU CALLING ME A FAT ELF?
302
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,771
NO, A SYLPH MEANS
A SLIM AND GRACEFUL WOMAN.
303
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,006
HOW DO I KNOW
YOU'RE NOT MAKING THAT UP?
304
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,242
BECAUSE, MY LOVE,
I CANNOT LIE.
305
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,444
OH, SO YOU DO THINK
I'M FAT.
306
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:20,912
NO.
307
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,448
YOU'RE NOT FAT, BUT THAT DRESS
JUST DOESN'T DO YOU JUSTICE.
308
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:24,783
REALLY?
309
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:28,019
YES, I MUCH PREFER YOU
IN THAT PINK SUN DRESS...
310
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,488
THE ONE THAT MAKES
YOUR EYES SPARKLE,
311
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:33,191
THE ONE THAT SHOWS OFF
YOUR SVELTE SILHOUETTE,
312
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,427
THE ONE THAT MAKES
MY HEART SKIP A BEAT,
313
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,561
THE ONE THAT MAKES MY...
314
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,029
YOU MEAN THIS ONE?
315
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,864
YEP, YEP,
THAT'S THE ONE.
316
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,366
YOU CALL ME FAT AGAIN,
317
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,601
AND I'LL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY
PERMANENTLY.
318
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,936
YOU GOT IT?
319
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,206
NOW. LET'S GO.
320
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,909
[ SIGHS ]
321
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,444
IS HER EYE BLACK?
322
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,012
NO, IT'S NOT BLACK.
323
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:56,881
IT'S KIND OF LIKE
A REDDY KIND OF YELLOWY,
324
00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:59,484
BLUISHY KIND OF UGLY,
325
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:03,254
ROCKY BALBOEY KIND OF...
326
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:06,424
PUS-Y, UH...
327
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,270
NOT ATTRACTIVE-Y
KIND OF THING.
328
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,694
IT WILL BE FINE, THOUGH.
329
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,339
JUNIOR, DID YOU GET
THE KEYS BACK?
330
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,364
YES, HERE YOU GO, DAD.
WHOA. HA HA.
331
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,034
WHOA.
NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON'T.
332
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,069
THINK FAST.
333
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,538
NOW, BOY, WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO GO AND DO THAT?
334
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,741
WELL, I WAS TRYING
TO IMPRESS YOU, DADDY!
335
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,512
ALL RIGHT,
NOBODY TOUCH ANYTHING.
336
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,257
LET ME GET THE KEYS
OUT OF THE DISPOSAL.
337
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,082
OKAY,
I'LL GET THE LIGHTS.
338
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,717
HEY, OW!
339
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,252
UH-OH.
340
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,054
BOY, OH...
341
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,822
[ SIGHS ]
342
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,891
YOU TRYING
TO IMPRESS ME AGAIN?
343
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,962
THERE GOES THE CAR KEYS.
344
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,196
WE CAN CALL A CAB.
345
00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:47,499
WE CAN'T CALL A CAB.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
346
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,267
YOU KNOW,
IN SOME SORT OF WEIRD WAY,
347
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,513
I FEEL LIKE THIS WHOLE SITUATION
IS MY FAULT.
348
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:54,005
[ LAUGHS ]
NO, IT'S NOT.
349
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,440
COME ON.
WE'LL TAKE MY CAR.
350
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,509
HA HA. I'M CRAZY.
351
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,978
Jay:
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!
352
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,480
OKAY, LOOK. HERE SHE COMES.
LET'S BE SUPPORTIVE.
353
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,048
DON'T LOOK HER IN THE EYE.
354
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,727
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK
AT THE FACE, ALL RIGHT?
355
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:09,654
WE'LL JUST SMILE A LOT,
JUST SMILE AND ENCOURAGE.
356
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,222
HEY, BABY.
357
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:12,690
HEY.
358
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,060
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?
359
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:17,996
[ NERVOUS LAUGHTER ]
360
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,866
Michael:
BOY, YOU KNOW,
361
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,535
MY, MY, MY.
362
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,036
YOU LOOK... YOU LOOK HERE,
363
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,271
LIKE YOU'RE HERE.
364
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,940
OKAY.
365
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:30,608
INCREDIBLE.
SHE LOOKS INCREDIBLE.
366
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:33,611
SO YOU CAN'T SEE WHERE THE SKIN
PEELED OFF MY FACE?
367
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:34,879
WHERE?
368
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,358
WELL,
A COUPLE OF PLACES.
369
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,183
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]
370
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:41,152
SEE, THAT'S IT.
HE SPEAKS FOR ALL OF US.
371
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,987
YEAH.
372
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,633
WHAT ABOUT MY BLACK EYE?
DO YOU SEE THE BLACK EYE?
373
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,067
BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT THE MAKEUP.
374
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,358
WHAT BLACK EYE?
375
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,761
NO...
WELL, A LITTLE BIT.
376
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,196
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS?
377
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,164
IT SAYS, "I FOUGHT
TO GET WHERE I'M AT."
378
00:13:56,001 --> 00:14:00,238
YEAH, YOU JUST,
"HEY, GET BACK, JACK."
379
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,507
SO I DON'T LOOK HORRIBLE,
GUYS, SERIOUSLY?
380
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,844
HOW COULD YOU LOOK HORRIBLE
WITH A BLACK EYE AND YOUR...
381
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,865
YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE
A BLACK EYE.
382
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:11,082
NO, YOU HAVE A, UM, A, UH,
383
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:15,119
A BLACK KIND OF FOCUSED
LOOK IN YOUR EYE.
384
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:18,189
YEAH, IT'S SAYING,
"STAY AWAY FROM ME, JACK."
385
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,160
"I'M A TOUGH COOKIE."
386
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:23,862
I LIKE THAT.
I LIKE THAT.
387
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,330
SO YOU KNOW WHAT?
388
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,108
LET'S GET THE CAP AND GOWN
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
389
00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:28,766
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
390
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,868
YEAH.
391
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,269
AND WOULD YOU STOP IT?
392
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,905
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]
393
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,607
ALL RIGHT, KIDS,
LET'S GO!
394
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,409
AND BABY, I MUST SAY...
395
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:41,713
YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT.
396
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,314
THANK YOU, BABY,
397
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:46,017
'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONE THING
THAT I'M REALLY PROUD OF.
398
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,485
THANK YOU.
399
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:49,354
OH, WAIT,
DID YOU FORGOT SOMETHING?
400
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,256
HERE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
401
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,357
BUT...
402
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:56,027
Man:
...SUSAN M. FRANK...
403
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,996
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I DON'T KNOW.
404
00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,464
I DON'T KNOW.
405
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,233
YOU BETTER GET A DAMN TOP
FOR THAT CAR, JUNIOR.
406
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:04,369
YEAH, AND MAYBE A WINDSHIELD
WOULD HELP, TOO.
407
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,771
LOOK AT ME.
I LOOK LIKE TINA TURNER.
408
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,806
YEAH, RIGHT AFTER IKE
GOT THROUGH WITH HER.
409
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:09,974
BOY, YOU'RE NOT HELPING.
410
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,376
AND LOOK AT MY CAP AND GOWN.
411
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,344
IT LOOKS LIKE
KADY SHOULD BE WEARING THIS.
412
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,365
I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT
WEARING THAT.
413
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,548
BUT IT LOOKS GOOD
ON YOU.
414
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,318
[ Sobbing ]
I HEARD YOU. I HEARD YOU.
415
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,354
HEY, DON'T CRY.
DON'T CRY.
416
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:24,822
LOOK, IF YOU KEEP CRYING,
417
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,534
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A MUDSLIDE ON YOUR FACE.
418
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,670
I CAN'T DO THIS, MICHAEL.
KIDS, GO INSIDE.
419
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:29,961
I CAN'T DO THIS, MICHAEL.
420
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,563
HEY, HEY. LISTEN... WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T DO THIS?
421
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,266
LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY HAIR,
MY MAKEUP, MY FACE.
422
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,369
I'M THE UGLIEST WOMAN IN
FRANKLIN ALOYSIUS MUMFORD HALL.
423
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:39,637
SO WHAT?
424
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:41,673
I MEAN, SO...
425
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,808
WHAT I'M SAYING IS,
426
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:46,210
WITH YOUR BLACK EYE
AND YOUR ZOMBIE FACE
427
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,112
AND YOUR
HAND-GRENADE HAIRSTYLE,
428
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:50,548
YOU ARE STILL
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
429
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:51,983
I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON.
430
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,985
REALLY?
YES.
431
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,653
YOU GOTTA GO IN THERE, JAY.
432
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:57,722
I MEAN, YOU EARNED THIS DAY.
433
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,023
THIS IS YOUR BRASS RING.
434
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,444
YOU GOTTA GO UP THERE
AND GRAB IT.
435
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,093
OH, MICHAEL.
436
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:08,633
Man:
...JANET MARIE KYLE...
437
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,034
I LOVE YOU.
438
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,604
WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO,
GOT TO DO WITH IT?
439
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:17,141
JANET MARIE KYLE.
440
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,677
GET OUT OF MY WAY.
441
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,380
OH!
442
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:23,915
I BROKE MY SHOE.
443
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,217
HEY, THERE SHE GOES.
444
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,220
SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL, HUH?
HEY, THAT'S MY WIFE.
445
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,756
SORRY.
446
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:35,532
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
447
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,027
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
EXCUSE ME.
448
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,997
I KNOW I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO MAKE SPEECHES,
449
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:42,166
BUT THERE'S JUST ONE THING
I NEED TO SAY, OKAY?
450
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,401
HI.
451
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,269
YOU KNOW...
452
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:48,072
I'M JUST ONE OR TWO YEARS OLDER
THAN MOST OF YOU GRADUATES.
453
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,941
[ LAUGHTER ]
454
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,243
NO, IT'S TRUE.
NO, IT'S REALLY... THAT'S FUNNY.
455
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,212
AND, UH...
456
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:58,216
THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FOR ME.
457
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,028
IT'S CHANGED MY LIFE
FOR THE BETTER.
458
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,020
YOU KNOW,
GOING BACK TO SCHOOL...
459
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:05,089
[ Sobbing ] WHEN YOU HAVE
A HUSBAND AND KIDS...
460
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,992
I SAID I WASN'T GONNA DO THIS.
461
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,332
GOING BACK TO SCHOOL WHEN
YOU HAVE A HUSBAND AND KIDS...
462
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:16,434
MIGHT SEEM IMPOSSIBLE,
463
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,470
UNLESS YOU HAVE
MY HUSBAND AND KIDS.
464
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:22,006
I LOVE YOU, MICHAEL.
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
465
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,441
WE LOVE YOU, TOO.
466
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,143
NO, I LOVE YOU.
467
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:26,411
I LOVE YOU MORE.
468
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,479
NO, I LOVE YOU, MICHAEL.
469
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:29,747
I LOVE YOU THIS MANYS.
470
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:33,051
I SAID, "I LOVE YOU"!
OKAY?!
471
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,520
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
472
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,321
THANK YOU. THANK YOU!
473
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:39,257
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
474
00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:45,063
BABY, THIS DEGREE
IS MORE BEAUTIFUL
475
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,899
THAN ANY PAINTING
IN THE WORLD.
476
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,134
MICHAEL, I JUST WANTED TO SAY
477
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,537
I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT YOU MADE ME GO UP THERE.
478
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,315
AND I'M SORRY
THAT I DOUBTED YOUR MOTIVES.
479
00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,908
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I KNOW
YOU WERE UNDER A LOT OF STRESS.
480
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,976
I WAS...
I'LL PROBABLY NEVER BE ABLE
481
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,555
TO LOOK AT
MY GRADUATION PICTURES, THOUGH.
482
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,813
WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE TO.
483
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,925
FRANKLIN SAID WHEN THE CAMERA
TRIED TO FOCUS ON YOU,
484
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,149
THE LENS CRACKED.
485
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,185
SHUT UP.
486
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:09,954
THE BOTTOM LINE IS,
CONGRATULATIONS.
487
00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:11,622
AND I LOVE YOU.
488
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,391
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
489
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,626
YOU KNOW, BABY, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THE WAY I ACTED,
490
00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,361
YOU KNOW,
WHILE YOU WERE IN SCHOOL.
491
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,397
IF I HAD IT
TO DO OVER AGAIN,
492
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:22,066
I WOULD BE
SO MUCH MORE SUPPORTIVE.
493
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,168
I'D BE
YOUR STRENGTH, YOUR ROCK.
494
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,638
I'D BE THE WIND
BENEATH YOUR WINGS.
495
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:30,808
I'D BE THE LIGHT
THAT GUIDED YOUR FOOTSTEP,
496
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:33,411
LIKE IN
THE "BILLIE JEAN" VIDEO.
497
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,880
I'D BE THE HORSE
THAT TOOK YOU
498
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:38,116
FROM CLASS TO CLASS
LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW?
499
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:40,318
"HYAH, HYAH, HYAH, GO.
500
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,987
GO TO CLASS.
HYAH, HYAH."
501
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,923
I AM SO GLAD
YOU FEEL THAT WAY
502
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:48,092
BECAUSE I'M GOING
TO GRADUATE SCHOOL.
503
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:50,628
WAIT... I WAS JUST...
504
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:55,766
YOU GO TO HER
AND YOU LIE LIKE A DOG.
505
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,036
THAT'S WHY YOU'LL NEVER HAVE
ANYTHING NAMED AFTER YOU,
506
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,939
BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE YOU
A HALL OF A LOT.
507
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,575
[ LAUGHS ]
508
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,077
HEY, BROTHER.
509
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,346
I KNOW WHEN I'M DOPE...
510
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:11,849
YOU GO UP THERE
AND YOU LIE LIKE A DOG.
511
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:15,453
AND THAT'S WHY YOU'LL NEVER HAVE
ANYTHING NAMED AFTER YOU,
512
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:18,956
BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE YOU
A HALL OF A LOT.
513
00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:22,160
[ LAUGHS ]
514
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:23,594
HEY, BROTHER.
515
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:27,165
I KNOW
WHEN I'M BOMB... OH!
33914
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