Original subtitles

[ WHISTLING SOFTLY ]

ARE YOU WATCHING ME READ?

YEP. JUST WAITING TILL YOU'RE DONE.

FOR WHAT? YOU KNOW. [ CLICKS TONGUE ]

[ CLICKS TONGUE ] NO, I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I FIGURED WE'D TAKE A COUPLE OF LAPS

AROUND THE BEDROOM, BURN A COUPLE OF CALORIES, YOU KNOW.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ] WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THAT IDEA?

WELL, SINCE YOU'RE READING THIS BOOK ABOUT SEX,

I FIGURE THERE'S NOTHING TO IT BUT TO DO IT,

PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.

OH, DID YOU, NOW, HUH?

MM-HMM. WHAT'S THIS YOU'RE READING?

"TYPHOON SEX." WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

WE GONNA DO IT IN THE SHOWER?

SINCE YOU'RE ASKING, MAYBE WE ARE GONNA DO IT IN THE SHOWER.

WELL, GOOD, I'LL GO RUN THE WATER.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, MAYBE WE'RE GONNA DO IT EVERYWHERE.

I BETTER STRETCH FOR THIS. [ LAUGHS ]

GET THAT... GET THAT WORKING.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK WE ARE GOING TO HAVE

THE MOST INCREDIBLE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE

WE HAVE EVER HAD IN OUR ENTIRE LIVES...

I'LL GO GET THAT OIL. ...IN SIX MONTHS.

IN SIX MONTHS? WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX FOR SIX MONTHS?

YEAH, MY GIRL'S A FREAK!

♪ SIX MONTHS, SIX MONTHS ♪

♪ WE GONNA DO IT FOR SIX MONTHS ♪

NO, NO, NO. ♪ WE GONNA DO IT FOR SIX MONTHS ♪

NOT FOR. ♪ GOT TO TAKE A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SIX MONTHS ♪

MICHAEL. WHAT?

NOT FOR SIX MONTHS, IN SIX MONTHS.

WHAT HAPPENS IN SIX MONTHS? WE HAVE SEX.

AND WHAT DO WE DO IN THE MEANTIME?

OH, THERE'S A LOT THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN THE MEANTIME.

WHEN I SAY WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX FOR SIX MONTHS,

WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE THE KIND OF SEX THAT WE'VE BEEN HAVING.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE NEW AND DIFFERENT KIND OF SEX.

SO, I FINALLY WORE YOU DOWN, HUH?

NO. I'M STILL NOT DOING THAT, OKAY?

IT DON'T HURT.

NO.

I SAID NO. NO, MICHAEL.

I'M TALKING ABOUT HAVING SEX ON A MENTAL LEVEL.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE ENJOYING EVERY BITE OF A MEAL

TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY WITHOUT DIGESTING.

THAT DON'T MAKE NO SENSE.

NO. YOU LEARN TO BE SATISFIED IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

AND AFTER THOSE SIX MONTHS,

WHEN YOU FINALLY HAVE THAT PHYSICAL SEX,

IT'S LIKE A TYPHOON.

[ IMITATING STORM ]

OOH, I FELT THAT. YOU FEEL THAT?

I DON'T NEED A TYPHOON.

I'LL BE HAPPY WITH A DRIZZLE, AN OCCASIONAL SUN SHOWER,

A LITTLE MIST... PSST... LIKE THAT.

I'M REALLY COOL... A LITTLE MIST... PSST.

MICHAEL, IT'S AN ANCIENT PRACTICE

THAT HEIGHTENS YOUR SEXUAL AWARENESS.

WELL, THAT'S WHY IT'S ANCIENT,

'CAUSE PEOPLE GAVE UP ON THAT YEARS AGO.

NO. NO. NO.

PEOPLE BELIEVE IN IT. THEY THINK IT WORKS.

YEAH, I'M SURE IT DOES. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

NOT EATING FOR SIX MONTHS

WOULD MAKE A RAISIN TASTE LIKE STEAK.

BUT IT AIN'T RIGHT.

[ Imitating Scooby Doo ] NO, WE DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, I WANT TO TRY IT.

COME ON, MICHAEL, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.

WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE?

IN MY DRAWERS.

WHERE'S YOUR WILLINGNESS TO EXPERIMENT?

IN MY DRAWERS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? BABY, DO I HAVE A CHOICE?

NO, NOT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

NO. THEN I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE.

THANK YOU, BABY. SEE.

THANK YOU, BABY! THIS IS GONNA BE FANTASTIC!

JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN SIX MONTHS, BABY.

JUST KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE.

HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU THE TYPHOON. [ IMITATES STORM ]

♪ HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN ♪

♪ THE SKIES ARE BRIGHT AND CLEAR AGAIN ♪

[ HUMMING ]

♪ HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN ♪

ISN'T THAT A WONDERFUL SONG?

THIS IS THE DAY THEY WRITE SONGS ABOUT.

YOU'RE SO SWEET. WANT SOME CEREAL?

I DON'T NEED TO EAT. I'M SUSTAINED BY YOUR BEAUTY.

OKAY, MORE CINNAMON TOAST FOR ME.

OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT. I'LL HAVE SOME.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A WONDERFUL IDEA.

HOW ABOUT WE GROW SOMETHING TO SYMBOLIZE OUR LOVE?

THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GROW, A FEW INCHES?

[ LAUGHS ]

SEE THE FACE? SEE THE FACE?

NOT FUNNY.

WELL, I COULDN'T RESIST.

NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GROW, SOME ROSES?

PERHAPS. I HAVE THESE SEEDS.

WHAT ARE THEY? I DON'T KNOW.

I FOUND THEM IN THE STREET. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THEM.

IT'S A MYSTERY LIKE LOVE ITSELF.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S GONNA TURN OUT,

BUT THE JOY IS WATCHING IT DEVELOP

AND DISCOVERING WHAT IT'S GONNA BECOME OVER TIME.

YOU KNOW, I'M SO HAPPY I COULD SING "HAPPY DAYS" AGAIN.

COME ON, LET'S SING IT TOGETHER.

♪ HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

♪ THE SKIES ARE BRIGHT AND CLEAR AGAIN ♪

[ HUMMING ]

♪ HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

ISN'T THIS SENSUAL?

NO!

THIS WOULD BE SENSUAL.

NO, MICHAEL! STOP!

STOP!

JAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS I CAN TAKE.

BABY, WE ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOOK SAYS WE SHOULD DO...

STARE AT EACH OTHER, TOUCH, COMMUNICATE IN A NONSEXUAL WAY.

NOW, CAN'T YOU FEEL YOUR SENSES HEIGHTENING?

YEAH, SOMETHING'S GETTING HIGHER,

HIGHER, HIGHER, HIGHER, HIGHER.

NO, THAT'S A GOOD THING.

THAT'S VERY GOOD, BECAUSE, MICHAEL,

WE ONLY HAVE FIVE MONTHS AND TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE TYPHOON HITS.

BABY, WE DO THIS FOR ONE MORE HOUR... ANOTHER HOUR?

YEAH! THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH.

I JUST KNOW IT. I CAN FEEL IT.

IT'S GONNA BE LIKE "ALIEN"... BREAKTHROUGH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

FINE, MICHAEL, WE'LL STOP FOR NOW.

JAY, THIS IS NOT SEX. THIS IS... THIS IS TEASING.

IT'S FLIRTING. IT'S LIKE HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU'LL GET USED TO IT. IT'LL GROW ON YOU.

I DON'T... [ IMITATES EXPLOSION ]

HEY, DAD, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

OKAY, YOU GOT 60 SECONDS. GO.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S ABOUT VANESSA. 55. WHAT IS IT?

SHE WANTS SEX ALL THE TIME. SHE'S WEARING ME OUT.

AND YOUR COMPLAINT IS?

MY COMPLAINT IS SHE'S A SEX MACHINE, A LOVE BEAST.

SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

WELL, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT... 40...

I HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION FOR YOU.

WHAT IS IT? 35. IT'S ACTUALLY 34.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GIVE HER THIS BOOK

AND YOU'LL BE ON A SIX-MONTH VACATION. 29.

SIX MONTHS, HUH? I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.

Vanessa: OH, JUNIOR!

OH, GOD. WISH ME LUCK, DAD.

I'M GLAD SOMEBODY'S GETTING LUCKY.

UGH.

OH. UGH.

Whew! HERE YOU GO, DAD.

WHAT HAPPENED?

DIDN'T WORK. DAMN, I'M TIRED.

BOY, YOU STILL GOT FIVE SECONDS LEFT TO TALK.

WELL, GREAT. OH, JU-JU!

UGH. I DON'T KNOW WHY I LET YOU TALK ME

INTO HAVING SO MANY DRINKS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU'RE A GROWN-UP.

YOU DRINK WHAT YOU WANT TO DRINK.

YOU ONLY HAD THREE LONG ISLAND ICED TEAS.

I ONLY HAD THREE? I THOUGHT I HAD THREE.

WELL, THREE TIMES THREE.

OH.

COME ON. COME ON, BABY, LET'S GO UPSTAIRS.

OH, MICHAEL, YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN I GET TIPSY.

[ LAUGHS ] I SURE DO.

I GET CRAZY.

YOU SURE DO.

I AM OUT OF CONTROL.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S HOW I WANT IT...

UNCONTROLLED. [ LAUGHS ]

OH! OOH, MICHAEL, DID YOU PLAN THIS?

JUST TELL ME.

MAYBE. [ CHUCKLES ]

YOU SO BAD. [ LAUGHS ]

COME HERE. I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

COME CLOSER. I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.

GOOD PLAN.

I WANT TO GET BUSY.

WAIT, HO, HO, HO, WAIT, WAIT. WHOA, BABY.

WHAT ABOUT THE FIVE MONTHS WE STILL GOT LEFT TILL TYPHOON?

[ IMITATES STORM ]

WHAT? NUH-UNH, NUH-UNH. NO?

NUH-UNH. I WANT YOU NOW, MICHAEL!

[ Crying ] I WANT YOU RIGHT NOW!

OKAY, OKAY. YOU'RE GONNA GET ME NOW.

[ BLUBBERING ]

Shh! OKAY, OKAY.

YOU GONNA GET ME RIGHT NOW.

YEAH. I'LL RACE YOU UPSTAIRS.

HOLD ON.

TAKE THEM SHOES OFF. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU READY? GO.

AAH HA!

BABY? BABY!

HEY, HEY, JAY, COME ON, WAKE UP.

HEY, COME ON, DON'T DO THIS TO ME, JAY.

COME HERE. GET UP HERE.

JAY, I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED

TO GO CRAZY TOGETHER, REMEMBER?

DON'T YOU WANT TO GO CRAZY, HUH? HMM?

I MEAN, I COULD WORK WITH THIS.

A LITTLE FOREPLAY.

[ BABBLING ]

Shh! Shh! Shh.

WE'RE GONNA GET CRAZY. Shh.

DON'T YOU WANT TO GET CRAZY? Shh.

WE GONNA GET CRAZY. MICHAEL, MICHAEL.

WHAT HAPPENED? [ GURGLING ]

WHAT'S THAT? WHAT?

WHAT? WHAT?! MICHAEL, I'M READY TO TH...

OH, NO, NO. NO, NOT YET.

HERE, LET'S GO UPSTAIRS, AND YOU THROW UP, ALL RIGHT?

AND THEN WHEN YOU WIPE YOUR MOUTH, WE GO CRAZY, OKAY?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

YOU HEAR THAT? I HEAR THEM.

THAT'S JUNIOR AND VANESSA.

I HEAR THEM.

BOY, HE QUICK.

YES, HE IS.

WELL, WHY DO I HEAR THAT SO CLEARLY?

BABY, I THINK OUR SENSES ARE HEIGHTENED. LISTEN.

IT'S THE WILSONS.

OOH, HE'S QUICK, TOO.

AND THAT'S THE FITZSIMMONS.

[ GASPS ] AND HE HAS A WOODEN LEG, MICHAEL.

HE SURE DOES.

OH, MY GOSH. THIS IS INSANE, MICHAEL.

I THINK WE CAN HEAR EVERYBODY IN THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD.

WHO THAT? WHO THAT?!

POSSIBLY THE WHOLE WORLD, BABE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S TURN ON THE TV.

WE CAN DROWN SOME OF THIS OUT.

GOOD IDEA. GOOD IDEA. OKAY.

LOOK AT THIS... SEX.

MNH-MNH.

VIOLENT SEX.

MNH-MNH, NO.

CARTOON SEX?

FLUFF.

THAT'S KIND OF INTERESTING, THOUGH.

[ IMITATES WOODY WOODPECKER LAUGH ]

[ SIGHS ] MICHAEL, THERE'S SEX EVERYWHERE.

WOULD YOU JUST TURN TO THE NATURE CHANNEL OR SOMETHING.

Man: DURING THE MATING SEASON, THE WILDEBEEST,

OTHERWISE MONOGAMOUS, TURNS INTO A RAPACIOUS FORNICATOR.

TURN IT OFF.

JAY, BABY, THIS IS KILLING ME.

BABY, YOU JUST GOT TO THINK POSITIVELY, HONEY.

YOU GOT TO THINK ABOUT THE TYPHOON.

COME ON.

LISTEN, THERE'S ONLY FOUR MONTHS LEFT.

IMAGINE WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN FOUR MONTHS.

IN FOUR MONTHS, I'LL BE ABLE TO HEAR

BUGS DOING IT IN CALIFORNIA.

OH, COME ON, HONEY.

THIS IS EXCITING, AND YOU KNOW IT.

NO, IT'S EXCITING TO YOU, JAY.

SEE, WOMEN ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY THAN MEN.

FOR YOU, THIS IS SIX MONTHS OF FOREPLAY.

FOR ME, THIS IS SIX MONTHS OF FOREPLAY!

[ SIGHS ] MICHAEL, COME ON. THINK ABOUT IT.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, AFTER ALL THIS TIME,

WE'RE LUSTING AFTER EACH OTHER LIKE TWO TEENAGERS.

OH, BABY, THE INTENSITY IS BACK. THE PASSION IS BACK.

DON'T... HEY, HEY, DON'T SAY "BACK."

COME ON. YOU CAN HANDLE IT, MICHAEL.

AND DON'T SAY "HANDLE." DON'T SAY "IT."

AND PLEASE DON'T SAY "COME ON."

MICHAEL, BUT YOU...

AND WHATEVER YOU SAY, DON'T SAY "BUT," OKAY?

'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WORKING WITH.

YOU GOT THAT WHOLE J-LO THING GOING ON.

JUST A LOT OF JUNK IN THAT TRUNK.

ALL RIGHT.

16 WEEKS, MICHAEL. IN 16 WEEKS.

THAT'S ALL YOU GOT LEFT.

16 WEEKS.

CAN I... CAN I... CAN I SEE IT?

NO.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

IT IS, ISN'T IT?

AND IT SMELLS GREAT, TOO.

YEAH, IT DOES, DOESN'T IT? IT REMINDS ME OF YOU.

IS IT DILL? I THINK SO.

ARE YOU SAYING I SMELL LIKE A PICKLE?

A SWEET PICKLE, MY DOVE.

WAIT A MINUTE. HERE IT IS.

IT'S AN ARMAROSA SCENTALOSA PLANT. WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A WEED INDIGENOUS TO [Italian accent] SOUTHERN ITALY

[Normal voice] USED BY THE LOCAL POPULATION,

WHICH SOME THINK IS A [Italian accent] LOVE POTION.

WOW.

[ Normal voice ] IT HEIGHTENS THE SENSES, ELEVATES THE MOOD,

AND CAUSES A FEELING OF WELL-BEING.

IT'S A [Italian accent] FEEL-GOOD PLANT.

LET'S GIVE SOME TO MY MOM.

SHE'S COOKING A BIG MEAL FOR MY DAD TONIGHT.

IT'S THEIR "BIG NIGHT" ALONE.

MAMA MIA! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

LET'S DO IT.

ISN'T THIS GREAT?

ISN'T THIS GREAT?

I DON'T KNOW. WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?

BECAUSE.

OH, MY GOSH.

THE BOOK SAYS THAT COOKING CAN BE A SENSUAL EXPERIENCE.

AND WHEN YOU SHARE THAT EXPERIENCE,

IT CAN BECOME AN INTIMATE EXPERIENCE.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

A NONSEXUAL INTIMATE EXPERIENCE.

NOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING.

MICHAEL, THE GOAL IS TO TEASE EACH OTHER

AND TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING AGAIN.

BUT WE FALL SHORT OF ACTUAL CONTACT.

NOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING AGAIN.

MICHAEL, I AM TRYING TO STIMULATE ALL OF YOUR SENSES.

[ French accent ] THAT IS WHY I AM DRESSED THIS WAY.

THAT IS WHY I SMELL THIS WAY.

THAT IS WHY I HAVE SENT THE KIDS AWAY.

I AM SEEKING TO CREATE THE PERFECT CONDITIONS

[Normal voice] TO NOT HAVE SEX.

OKAY, THEN LET'S START COOKING.

YEAH, LET'S START COOKING. WHAT'S ON THE MENU?

AH, LET'S START COOKING. WHAT'S ON THE MENU?

WITH POMEGRANATES AND SPINACH AND, BABY, FOR DESSERT,

CUPCAKES FILLED WITH A CHOCOLATE GANACHE.

WHAT'S GANACHE?

IT'S AN AMAZING ICING WITH CHOCOLATE AND CREAM.

HMM, GANACHE, THAT SOUNDS G-G-GOOD.

SEE, I TOLD YOU YOU'D GET INTO IT.

YEAH. I WISH I COULD GET INTO SOMETHING ELSE,

BUT APPARENTLY THAT'S ALL I'M GETTING INTO.

OKAY, MICHAEL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'D MAKE THIS EASIER ON YOURSELF

IF YOU STOP CONCENTRATING ON SEX AND CONCENTRATE ON COOKING.

ALL RIGHT, FAIR ENOUGH. I WILL ONLY THINK ABOUT COOKING.

THANK YOU. I WILL ON... COOKING.

COOKING. LET'S GO. OKAY, COOKING.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT ALL THE INGREDIENTS?

I THINK I DO.

OKAY. YOU GOT YOUR GUINEA FOWL? CHECK.

YOU HAVE YOUR, UH, RICOTTA CHEESE? CHECK.

YOU HAVE YOUR THYME? OH, YES, BABY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT ALL OF THIS FROM THE KIDS.

THEY GREW IT AND GAVE IT TO ME. ISN'T IT GOOD? SMELLS GOOD.

SMELLS... MMM, WOW, THAT DOES SMELL GOOD.

YEAH. OKAY.

READ THE INSTRUCTIONS.

OKAY. IT SAYS HERE,

"REMOVE... TH-TH-THIGHS

AND B-B-B-BREASTS-S-S-S."

I CAN'T DO THIS. COME ON, MICHAEL.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF SEX?

JUST MOVE, MOVE. OOH, GANACHE, THAT FEELS GOOD.

WOULD YOU...

COME ON. LET ME DO IT.

OKAY. "USING YOUR FINGERS...

MM-HMM.

...GENTLY RUB THE SKIN WITH YOUR RICOTTA.

MM-HMM.

"THEN, WHEN IT'S READY,

GENTLY SLIDE THE BIRD INTO THE OVEN."

NO, SHOVE THAT BIRD INTO THE OVEN.

OKAY, YOU GOT TO GO! BYE!

WHAT? NO, MICHAEL, NO!

I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA DO THIS TOGETHER.

NO. I'LL MAKE IT. I'LL COOK IT.

I DON'T NEED A RECIPE. AND YOU GOT TO GO.

GANACHE, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

GOODBYE.

GANACHE, GET AWAY FROM ME.

OH.

MMM.

WHOO, BABY, THIS IS THE BEST FOOD I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

AIN'T IT GOOD?

MMM. DAMN, I USUALLY DON'T LIKE THAT PART.

YEAH, I KNOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MICHAEL? HMM?

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK IT WAS?

WHAT MADE IT SO GOOD?

I THINK IT WAS THAT THYME.

THE THYME. YEAH, LET ME GET A LITTLE HIT OF THAT.

NO! DON'T I GET A HIT?

DAG, MICHAEL, YOU'RE SO GREEDY.

WAIT, NOTHING UP MY SLEEVE. PRESTO.

[ LAUGHING ]

MAGIC.

WHOO.

OKAY.

WHAT'S WRONG? I FEEL GOOD.

YOU DO? I FEEL ALL LOOSE AND RUBBERY.

ME TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL LIKE?

WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE?

I FEEL LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD IS BUTTERSCOTCH

AND I'M SWIMMING THROUGH IT.

OOH, LOOK OUT, WORLD.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO? WE NEED TO FOCUS.

HOW YOU SPELLING THAT, WITH A "U" OR AN "O"?

I DIDN'T GRADUATE.

BOTH OF THEM 'CAUSE IT'S... [ LAUGHING ]

MAGIC.

HEY, YOU KNOW, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, WAIT.

PSH, PSH.

WE SHOULD GET THE CHOCOLATE GANACHE.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

OKAY, OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE.

OKAY. WHO'S GETTING UP, ME OR YOU?

OKAY, WE'RE BOTH GONNA GET UP.

OKAY, READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.

[ LAUGHS ]

MY UP IS DOWN.

BETTER GO GET THE CHOCOLATE.

OKAY. GET THE CHOCOLATE.

HEY, BABY, YOU GOT YOUR CHOCOLATE?

OH, I GOT MY CHOCOLATE.

YOU GOT YOUR WHIPPED CREAM?

IS THAT SEXY?

YES.

OKAY, WAIT. WHAT?

COME ON NOW, FOCUS AND CONCENTRATE.

ERASE, DELETE.

AND EXHALE. [ COUGHS ]

OKAY. WHAT WE GOT TO DO NOW?

OKAY. OKAY, VERY SERIOUS. WE'RE SERIOUS.

WHAT WE GOT TO DO IS TAKE EVERYTHING OFF THE TABLE,

AND THEN YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND GET ON THE TABLE.

NO, WE GOT TO DO THE RECIPE FIRST.

OKAY. OH, I FORGOT.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH! OH! WHAT?! WHAT?!

YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO?

WHAT, BABY?

WE SHOULD PUT THAT THYME IN.

OHH! YEAH.

LET ME GET A HIT. LET ME GET A HIT.

BABY, BABY, BABY, LET ME GET A HIT.

YOU SO GREEDY. HERE.

MMM.

AH, THAT'S IT. OKAY, PUT IT IN THE CHOCOLATE.

PUT IT IN THE CHOCOLATE! YOU DROPPED IT. WHOOPSIE.

WHOOPSIE.

OOPSIE. WHOO, SEE, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THAT'S SOME BEAUTIFUL THYME.

THAT LOOKED LIKE A GREAT THYME RIGHT THERE.

OH, WHOA, MORE THYME.

OH.

WHOO!

OKAY, OKAY.

OH, YOU DROPPED IT AGAIN. WHOA.

YAY!

LOOK AT HER GET THAT THYME! YAY!

OKAY, COME ON OVER HERE, BABY. COME HERE.

OH, YOU'RE JUST A THYME-GETTING LITTLE HEIFER THERE.

OKAY, STIR IT.

OKAY. HERE. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. STIRRING.

OH, LOOK AT THE SWIRLS!

IT'S SWIRLING.

YOU GOT YOUR SWIRL ON! [ LAUGHS ]

I'M MAGIC.

WAIT! OH, LOOK AT THAT! WHAT, WHAT?

IT LOOKS LIKE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.

YEAH, AT THE BEGINNING.

WHAT?

WITH THE BIG... BANG!

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

OKAY, SERIOUS. FOCUS.

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT I GOT TO DO IS TAKE THE GANACHE

AND DRIZZLE IT OVER THE CUPCAKES.

WHAT CUPCAKES?

YOU GOT THE CUPCAKES.

[ LAUGHS ]

MAGIC.

OKAY, CONCENTRATE, BABY.

OKAY.

COME HERE. COME CLOSER TO ME.

LET'S STIR THIS.

OOH. MICHAEL?

WHAT, BABY?

DO YOU HEAR THE RAIN? I HEAR THE DRIZZLE.

BABY, NO, IT'S POURING. IT'S POURING?

MICHAEL, DO YOU HEAR THE WIND?

OH, BABY, THAT'S...

AAH! AAH! COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK!

DO YOU FEEL IT? I FEEL IT, BABY.

MICHAEL, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK THIS IS?

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS.

I THINK IT'S A... WHISPER IT. WHISPER IT.

Typhoon.

OH, YEAH.

IT'S A TYPHOON.

HOT DAMN.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

WHOA, WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE?

IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN HIT BY A TYPHOON.

IMAGINE! [ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

IT LOOKS LIKE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.

YEAH, IN THE BEGINNING. YEAH.

WHEN THE FIRST BIG BANG. [ LAUGHS ]

IMAGINE.

DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!

THE BIG BANG. HA!

HEY, AIN'T I SEXY?

[ LAUGHS ]