Original subtitles

FREEZE, MUMFORD. BACK AWAY FROM THE COBBLER.

COME ON, DAD, YOU ALWAYS GET THE LAST PIECE.

THAT'S BECAUSE I'M THE ALPHA DOG AROUND HERE.

I'M THE KING OF THIS CASTLE,

AND THAT'S THE ONLY PERK I GET...

THE LAST PIECE OF PEACH COBBLER PIE

AND YOUR MAMA'S RUMP ROAST.

SO, I DARE ANYBODY TO TOUCH THAT.

GO AHEAD, TOUCH IT.

GO AHEAD, FRANKLIN, DON'T LET HIM BULLY YOU.

[ GROWLS ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ BOTH GROWLING ]

WILL YOU GUYS STOP IT?

THERE'S PLENTY MORE.

I'M JUST KIDDING.

IF YOU WANT THIS LAST PIECE OF PECAN PUMPKIN PEASANT PIE,

PEN YOU PEST PECK IT PITH UPON IT.

I DON'T THINK I WANT IT ANYMORE.

IS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

OH, MICHAEL, YOU GUYS ARE BEING SO SILLY,

FIGHTING OVER A PIECE OF COBBLER.

OH, NO, THIS IS NOT JUST COBBLER.

THIS IS THE BEST COBBLER EVER MADE.

YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT 'CAUSE I'M YOUR WIFE.

NO, JAY, I'M SAYING IT BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

THIS IS THE PERFECT COBBLER.

COME ON, MICHAEL.

IT'S GOOD HOME COOKING,

BUT IT'S NOT RESTAURANT QUALITY.

IF THERE'S A RESTAURANT THAT SOLD THIS,

I'D EAT THERE ALL THE TIME. AIN'T THAT RIGHT, KIDS?

I KNOW I WOULD.

IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT.

UH-OH.

WHY YOU SAYING "UH-OH"?

WHY YOU SAY "IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT"?

EVERY TIME YOU SAY "FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT,"

IT ENDS UP COSTING ME MONEY.

WELL, THIS TIME I THINK

IT'S GONNA END UP MAKING YOU SOME MONEY.

I'M OPENING A RESTAURANT!

[ SNIFFING ]

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

COBBLER?

ROAST BEEF?

NO, IT SMELLS LIKE AN ARGUMENT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

COME ON, FRANKLIN.

GIVE ME A MINUTE.

YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME TO WAIT, ARE YOU?

OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON, JAY?

MICHAEL, YOU SAID YOURSELF IF THERE WAS A RESTAURANT

THAT SERVED THIS KIND OF FOOD

YOU WOULD EAT THERE EVERY NIGHT.

I KNOW, BUT THAT WAS JUST FOREPLAY.

DO YOU REALLY THINK I MEAN

ALL THOSE NICE THINGS I SAY TO YOU?

I'M JUST TRYING TO CUT DOWN ON SOME BEGGING TIME

UP IN THE BEDROOM.

MICHAEL, I'M SERIOUS.

LOOK, FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS

I'VE BEEN DOING ALL THIS LEGWORK.

EVERYTHING'S ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF.

JAY, RESTAURANTS HAVE THE HIGHEST RATE OF FAILURE

OF ANY BUSINESSES IN AMERICA.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, MICHAEL...

THAT I'M NOT SAVVY ENOUGH TO START MY OWN BUSINESS?

I WAS A SUCCESSFUL INVESTMENT BANKER,

AND I KNOW A GOOD OPPORTUNITY WHEN I SEE ONE.

YOU CAN TALK.

OKAY.

I'M NOT DOUBTING YOUR ABILITY.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

EVERYTHING THAT YOU ALWAYS SAY.

"I WANT JAY TO STAY AT HOME AND COOK, AND CLEAN,

"AND WAIT AFTER ME HAND AND FOOT,

AND FEED ME COBBLER WHEN I FEEL LIKE HAVING IT."

YOU FORGOT BUTT-NAKED WITH THE LITTLE FEATHER.

LOOK, BABY, THIS IS CRAZY.

FIRST OF ALL, WHEN YOU OPEN UP A RESTAURANT

THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS FIND A GREAT LOCATION.

[ LAUGHS ] DONE.

YOU FOUND A LOCATION.

IT'S DOWNTOWN AND, MICHAEL, IT IS PERFECT!

I LOOKED AT IT.

IT'S SET UP AND READY TO GO.

IT'S TURNKEY OPERATION,

AND THERE'S ONLY ONE OTHER RESTAURANT WITHIN 20 BLOCKS.

LOOK, THIS IS A CHANCE, MICHAEL,

FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING I ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT.

AND WHEN IT'S A SUCCESS, IT'LL BE GREAT FOR EVERYBODY.

BUT, BABY, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN COOK AT THE HOUSE

DON'T MEAN YOU CAN OPEN A RESTAURANT.

WHAT IF I HAD SAID THAT TO YOU 20 YEARS AGO, MICHAEL?

"JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DRIVE A TRUCK

DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN OWN YOUR OWN TRUCKING COMPANY."

THAT'S DIFFERENT.

I HAD SOMETHING BEHIND ME.

WHAT?

YOU.

HMM...

I WONDER WHO THE NEW OWNER

OF THE RESTAURANT ACROSS THE STREET ARE GOING TO BE?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

NOBODY CAN COMPETE WITH US.

THEY COULD HAVE NAKED WOMEN SELLING HOT DOGS

IN BOTH HANDS, AND WE'D STILL WIN.

YOU'RE RIGHT. WE'RE GOOD.

NO, I'M GOOD.

YOU'RE JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

OOH, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DEGRADE ME.

GOOD. SHUT UP!

NOW, GET ON YOUR BIKE

AND PEDAL THIS LUNGFISH CAKE OVER TO MR. WILSON.

WHEN I GET BACK, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BIT

OF YOUR SWEET AND PUNGENT PORK ON THE TABLE?

MAYBE.

IT DEPENDS ON HOW QUICKLY YOU GET BACK.

NOW GO!

[ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE

OR WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT YOU'RE GONNA OPEN,

BUT WE'RE GONNA CRUSH YOU LIKE WE CRUSHED

THOSE NAKED HOT DOG LADIES.

I'M BACK.

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

YOU KNOW WILSON... GAB, GAB, GAB, GAB, GAB.

WELL, THEN, LET'S GET BUSY.

I DON'T WANT TO WORK IN A RESTAURANT.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HELP OUT THE WOMAN THAT LAID ON HER BACK

FOR 36 HOURS IN LABOR WITH NO DRUGS,

ASKING GOD TO PLEASE SPARE HER LIFE

SO SHE CAN BRING YOU INTO THE WORLD, HUH?

MAYBE I SHOULD PUT THAT TAPE IN.

COME ON, NO, DAD!

THAT'S OKAY.

I THOUGHT YOU'D SEE IT MY WAY.

LOOK, IT'S JUST FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS

UNTIL THE BUSINESS GOES BROKE.

THEN OUR LIVES WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL.

BUT WHY DO WE HAVE TO GET INVOLVED?

IT'S A FAMILY BUSINESS, OKAY,

ARE YOU'RE PART OF THE FAMILY UNFORTUNATELY.

BESIDES, IF YOU DON'T DO IT

THEN I GOT TO PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT.

I'M NOT PUTTING ANOTHER PENNY INTO IT

MORE THAN I ALREADY PUT IN.

BUT WHAT IF SHE'S SUCCESSFUL?

[ ALL LAUGH ]

THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S GOOD!

SHE CRAZY.

THANKS FOR ADDING LEVITY TO THIS SITUATION.

SHE HASN'T BEEN IN THE FAMILY LONG.

NO, SHE HASN'T.

THIS IS JUST THE LATEST

IN A LONG SERIES OF JAY'S ATTEMPTS "TO EXPRESS HERSELF."

BUT, DAD, I CAN'T WORK FOR MOM

BECAUSE I WORK FOR YOU.

HMM, PROBLEM.

PROBLEM SOLVED. YOU'RE FIRED.

NOW YOU WORK FOR YOUR MOTHER.

YOU AND CLAIRE ARE GONNA BE THE BUSBOYS.

I DON'T EVEN WASH DISHES HERE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA BE THE HOSTESS/WAITRESS.

AND THING ONE AND THING TWO, THEY'LL WASH THE DISHES.

BUT THAT'S NO FAIR.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE CHILD LABOR LAWS?

FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY "LABOR." LET ME PUT THAT TAPE IN.

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

NO, NO! PLEASE.

DON'T WORRY, THING ONE, I'LL DO ALL THE WORK.

YOU JUST SIT THERE AND BE BEAUTIFUL.

THAT'S EASY.

IF I'M GONNA WORK THERE,

I'M GONNA HAVE TO BRING THE BABY.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

PEOPLE LOVE BABIES.

WE'LL PUT HIM IN THE FRONT WINDOW AND ATTRACT CUSTOMERS.

MAYBE WE CAN GET ONE OF THOSE BIG LOBSTER TANKS

AND JUST FILL IT UP WITH BABIES.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

NO, IT'S NOT!

HEY, IS EVERYBODY EXCITED?!

YEAH!

I GOT 'EM ALL FIRED UP HERE.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT, KIDS?

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

I THINK I NEED TO PUT ON A TAPE.

YEAH! YES! YES!

I'M SO FIRED UP!

IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY, I KNOW YOU'RE LYING,

BUT I'M GONNA PROVE YOU WRONG

BECAUSE ONE DAY THERE WILL BE A "COBBLER" ON EVERY CORNER.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE THE NAME.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH "THE COBBLER"?

NOTHING IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BRING IN OLD SHOES.

[ LAUGHS ]

GET IT?

COBBLER?

SHOEMAKER AND THE ELVES?

READ A FAIRY TALE, PEOPLE.

I THINK WHAT THE KIDS ARE TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT "THE COBBLER" IS A LITTLE TOO SPECIFIC.

YEAH, YOU COOK MORE THAN COBBLER, MOM.

YOU SURE DO.

HOW ABOUT "KYLES' SOOOOOOOOUL KITCHEN"?

MICHAEL, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

"JAY'S SOOOOOOOOUL KITCHEN."

THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.

I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.

Junior: IF WE'RE GONNA BE INVOLVED,

WE'D LIKE OUR NAME ON IT, TOO.

YOU WHAT? SAY WHAT?

WHAT HE SAY?

'CAUSE I... WHAT? WHAT, BOY?

LET ME POINT OUT THE FACT

THAT WE ARE ASKING THE KIDS TO DO THIS FOR NOTHING.

AND LET ME POINT OUT THE FACT

THAT I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR NOTHING FOR YEARS.

I NEVER HAD A SIGN OUTSIDE THIS DOOR WITH MY NAME ON IT.

I NEVER HAD A PLAQUE THAT SAID EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

I NEVER HAD A DAMN THING,

SO YOU CAN TELL THESE KIDS TO SUCK IT UP

AND BE HAPPY THAT THEY WORK FOR ME.

[ SHOUTS ]

YES.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE, GOT GREAT NEWS.

WE'RE GONNA NAME IT "JAY'S SOOOOUL KITCHEN."

YAY.

DO I HAVE TO RE-ENACT THE TAPE?

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

MY MOM'S A GENIUS! MY MAMA'S SMART!

Michael: THERE YOU GO.

WHEN YOUR STOMACH GETS TO TWITCHIN',

COME ON OUT TO JAY'S SOUL KITCHEN.

'CAUSE THE FOOD IS ENRICHIN'.

YEAH, AND IT'S BEWITCHIN'.

YOU CAN GO NOW.

BEWITCHIN', DAD? THAT'S HORRIBLE.

HEY, DON'T CRITICIZE MY SLOGAN UNLESS YOU GOT A BETTER ONE.

I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH A CATCHPHRASE,

SOMETHING LIKE, HERE'S WHERE YUMMY MEETS TUMMY.

OR, I'D WALK A MILE TO GET A KYLE.

HOW ABOUT THIS?

WE'RE ALREADY RICH,

SO WHY THE HECK ARE WE DOING THIS?

LOOK AT THAT.

GET OUT OF HERE.

BABY, HOW YOU DOING OVER HERE?

I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE.

WE'RE DOING SUCH GREAT BUSINESS, BABY.

WE'VE BEEN OPEN FOR 3 HOURS, AND WE ALREADY MADE $200.

IF WE'RE OPEN FOR 12 HOURS, THAT'S $800.

WE CAN OPEN A CHAIN OF THESE STORES!

WE CAN OPEN A CHAIN OF JAY'S SOUL KITCHENS!

AND OPEN ONE IN INDIA... CURRY COBBLER...

AND THAT WOULD BE REALLY...

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. DON'T GET TOO EXCITED.

CURRY COBBLER, I LIKE THAT.

BUT, LISTEN, WE ONLY MADE 200 BUCKS, OKAY?

WE CAN'T REALLY TELL WHAT THE RESTAURANT'S DOING

FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF WEEKS.

GET YOUR NEGATIVITY AWAY FROM ME.

I'M TRYING TO BE REALISTIC HERE.

WHERE'S CLAIRE?

I SENT HER OUT TO PASS OUT FLYERS

SO SHE CAN ATTRACT NEW CUSTOMERS.

HI, DAD, I FOUND A GREAT WAY TO LURE IN BUSINESS.

WHAT, THE FLYERS?

NOPE, EVEN BETTER. WATCH THIS.

OH, BOYS?

WHAT THE?

GIRL, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE HOSTESS, NOT THE HO-STESS.

DAD!

SHE'S A MAîTRE D', NOT A MAîTRE D-CUP.

MICHAEL!

DAD!

LOOK AT ALL THE CUSTOMERS.

HELLO, CUSTOMERS.

YOU GONNA BUY SOMETHING?

THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!

GET OUT!

AND YOU GO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.

THAT DIDN'T WORK.

WHY DON'T YOU WEAR AN OUTFIT LIKE THAT?

WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

IF IT ISN'T THE HOOS.

THE WHO?

YEAH, BOTH OF THEM.

TWO HOOS RIGHT THERE.

DON'T YOU PEOPLE EVER GET SICK OF THAT?

WELL, AT ANY RATE IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

NO, NOT NICE TO MEET YOU.

WHAT YOU TRYING TO DO, PUT US OUT OF BUSINESS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THAT'S OUR RESTAURANT ACROSS THE STREET.

I KNOW, IT'S CHINESE FOOD. THIS IS SOUL FOOD.

THERE'S NO COMPETITION HERE.

LISTEN UP, BALDY, THIS IS OUR BLOCK.

THIS IS A CHINESE FOOD BLOCK.

WHAT'D I TELL YOU ABOUT INTERRUPTING ME?

[ SHOUTING IN CHINESE ]

SORRY, HONEY.

THIS IS A CHINESE FOOD BLOCK.

I VANQUISH ALL OUR ENEMIES.

NOBODY OVERTAKES THE HOOS.

HOWDY, HOOS, MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

YOU DON'T TAKE ORDER.

I GIVE ORDER. GET OUT OF TOWN.

OKAY.

YEAH.

SHUT UP.

I THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO LEARN...

YOU HAVE TILL SUNDOWN TOMORROW.

WHAT IF WE DON'T JUST PACK UP AND LEAVE?

THEN THE SAME THING'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU

THAT HAPPENED TO THE DOUGHNUT SHOP,

THE YOGURT SHOP, THE PRETZEL STORE,

THE FUNNEL CAKE SHOP, THE FONDU SHOP,

THE PIZZA PLACE, THE COFFEEHOUSE,

AND THE NAKED HOT DOG LADIES.

ALL GONE.

ALL FALL BEFORE THE HOUSE OF HOO.

HMM!

♪ HEY, HOO KICKED THOSE DOGS OUT? ♪

♪ HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO ♪

ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

BOY, IT SURE IS QUIET.

BUSINESS HAS SLOWED DOWN A BIT.

I WONDER WHAT WE'RE DOING WRONG.

WE HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE CUSTOMER ALL DAY.

A CUSTOMER!

HEY, HI, CAN WE HELP YOU, SIR?

I'M LOOKING FOR HOO'S CHINESE KITCHEN.

HOO?

I HEAR THEY'RE SELLING SEOUL FOOD.

THAT'S THE CHINESE RESTAURANT ACROSS THE STREET.

WE'RE THE ONLY ONES SELLING SOUL FOOD.

NOT ACCORDING TO THIS FLYER.

HE'S RIGHT. THE HOOS PUT UP A NEW SIGN.

THEY'RE STEALING OUR CUSTOMERS.

AAH!

MICHAEL, TELL ME THAT DOESN'T SAY WHAT I THINK IT SAYS.

"SEOUL FOOD"!

THAT'S FALSE ADVERTISEMENT.

SEOUL IS IN KOREA. THEY'RE CHINESE.

THEY RIPPED OFF OUR SIGN.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MY LOVE?

I WAS LEARNING.

"HE WHO LEARNS BUT DOES NOT THINK IS LOST."

HEY, THAT'S FORTUNE-COOKIE TALK.

SHE'S BEEN EATING WITH THE ENEMY.

AT LEAST THEY HAVE COOKIES.

HOW MUCH COBBLER CAN ONE PERSON EAT?

OH, MY GOD, THEY GOT KADY, BUT SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN WEAK.

AT LEAST WE HAVE FRANKLIN.

THIS IS GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S TIME TO RETALIATE.

Jay: MICHAEL, YOU ARE A GENIUS

GIVING AWAY FREE SAMPLES OF PIE.

LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE.

NOW WE GOT THE UPPER HAND.

WE'LL SHOW THE HOOS WHO'S WHO AROUND HERE.

THAT'S RIGHT!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

IS THAT AN EGG ROLL IN YOUR POCKET,

OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

EGG ROLL.

GO DO SOMETHING.

YOU GOING DOWN, CUE BALL.

MICHAEL, WILL YOU PLEASE WORK FASTER?

STOP WORRYING ABOUT ANNIE HOO.

IF WE KEEP SERVING GOOD FOOD AT A GOOD PRICE,

WE'LL BE FINE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, JAY, WE'RE DOING GREAT, HUH?

WE'RE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH ON THIS BLOCK.

AND IF ANNIE HOO CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT,

SHE BETTER GET UP OUT OF JAY'S SOOOOOUL KITCHEN.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

[ SCREAMS ]

LOOK, A RAT!

THAT'S NOT CHICKEN!

IT'S A RAT!

I'M NOT EATING HERE!

I'M GOING TO THE CHINESE RESTAURANT ACROSS THE STREET,

WHERE IT'S CLEAN!

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HEY, THERE'S NO RAT.

NO? OH, MY MISTAKE.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

OH, BY THE WAY, THE CHICKEN'S VERY GOOD.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD GIVE ME THE RECIPE WHEN YOU CLOSE.

THAT WAS ANNIE HOO!

TELL ME SHE JUST DID NOT DO THAT!

SHE JUST DID IT. THAT WOMAN IS DIABOLICAL.

OH, BOY, NOW THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF, JAY.

OOOOH.

SORRY, NO ROOM IN THE HOUSE.

GOOD. WE'RE NOT GONNA STAY LONG.

JUST CAME HERE TO LAY DOWN THE LAW.

AND SO WE DON'T GET IT WRONG,

I'M GONNA LET HIM SPEAK TO YOU IN CHINESE AND TELL YOU.

TELL HER, FRANKLIN.

[ SPEAKING CHINESE ]

YOU ALL DONE?

YES.

[ SPEAKING CHINESE ]

YOU LITTLE POT STICKER!

WELL, IT'S PLAN "B," MR. KYLE.

YEAH, PLAN "B" IT IS.

I WONDER WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS PLACE

THAT THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT WOULD GIVE YOU AN "F"?!

AN "F"!

YEAH, AND LOOK AT THIS.

THERE'S A FINGER IN HIS FINGER FOOD.

OH, MY GOD, MAYBE THAT'S WHY THEY GAVE IT AN "F," HUH?

IT'S A GOOD THING YOU DIDN'T GET AN "A."

THERE'S BE AN ASS ON YOUR PLATE.

HEY, LOOK, THERE'S SOME SOUL FOOD DOWN THE STREET.

THIS WAY, RIGHT THAT WAY.

THAT'S NOT A REAL FINGER!

I SHOW YOU A REAL FINGER.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

[ LAUGHS ] MY MISTAKE.

OUR MISTAKE. YOU HAVE A NICE DAY.

YOU WANT TO PLAY ROUGH, HUH?

OH, I DO!

SHUT UP, HORNY MAN.

YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE DOG, ALWAYS ON MY LEG LIKE THIS.

GO MAKE SOME DUMPLINGS OR SOMETHING.

I GOT TO THINK OF A NEW PLAN.

WELCOME TO JAY'S SOUL KITCHEN.

BUSINESS IS GOOD, MR. KYLE,

AND NO ONE'S EATING ACROSS THE STREET.

YEP, ALL OF OUR CUSTOMERS ARE BACK.

OF COURSE THEY ARE.

NOW THAT WE'VE SHOWN OUR SUPERIOR STRATEGIC STRENGTH

BY GIVING THEM THE FINGER, WE WILL GROW STRONGER

AS THE HOUSE OF HOO WITHERS ON THE VINE.

BUT...

HUSH!

YEAH!

NOW I'M DONE.

BUT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN ONE THING, DAD.

ANNIE HOO WON'T TAKE THIS LYING DOWN.

Junior: YEAH, DON'T LOOK NOW,

BUT THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

[ GASPS ]

WHAT?

OH, DAMN THAT HOO.

WHAT NOW, MASTER STRATEGIST?

WELL, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEAK TO THEM

IN A LANGUAGE THAT THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.

CHINESE?

NO, SIGN LANGUAGE.

THEY CAN'T MAKE ANY MONEY AT 99 CENTS.

THEY'RE NOT TRYING TO MAKE MONEY.

THEY'RE TRYING TO PUT US OUT OF BUSINESS.

THEY'VE GOT A LINE AROUND THE BLOCK,

AND WE'VE GOT NOBODY.

I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN'T COME TO THIS,

BUT IT'S COME TO THIS.

NO, MICHAEL...

I HAVE TO. I HAVE NO CHOICE, DAMN IT!

YOU MEAN YOU'RE GONNA...

YES!

I GOTTA BRING OUT THE BIG GUMS.

BOY, I HAVE WORKED UP AN APPETITE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

PLEASE, SIR, STOP EATING.

WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF FOOD.

ALMOST, HUH?

THAT MEANS YOU'RE HOLDING BACK.

WHATEVER ELSE YOU GOT BACK THERE,

BRING IT ON.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S WORKING, DAD!

I KNEW CALVIN WAS THE MAN FOR THE JOB.

THERE'S NOT A CRUMB LEFT OVER THERE.

AT THIS RATE, I PREDICT THE ULTIMATE DEMISE

OF THE HOUSE OF HOO WILL BE IN ONE WEEK.

YEAH!

MICHAEL, I DID NOT OPEN A RESTAURANT

TO CLOSE ANOTHER ONE DOWN.

HEY, NEITHER DID I, BUT SHE STARTED IT.

THIS WASN'T MY VISION.

GO OVER THERE AND PUT AN END TO THIS.

BUT THIS IS WAR!

NO, THIS ISN'T WAR!

YES, IT IS!

PLEASE?

NO, THIS IS A BUSINESS.

I DON'T WANT EITHER ONE OF OUR RESTAURANTS

TO CLOSE DOWN, MICHAEL.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY FOR US TO CO-EXIST.

NOW, LOOK, THE SMART MAN THAT I KNOW AND LOVE

WHO HELPED ME REALIZE MY DREAM

EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN IT

IS SMART ENOUGH TO FIND IT.

GO!

YES, MA'AM.

[ BURPS ] OOH!

[ LAUGHS ]

I THINK I'M READY FOR DESSERT.

NO, YOU GOT TO GO.

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT. NO MORE FOOD.

THE SIGN SAYS "ALL YOU CAN EAT,"

AND THAT'S NOT ALL I CAN EAT.

I THINK YOU BETTER GO SHOPPING.

HEY, CALVIN, HOW'S IT GOING?

I'M HUNGRY! THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU WERE BEHIND THIS.

YOU SENT IN AN EATING MACHINE.

HE'S NOT HUMAN.

DO YOU WANT TO CALL A TRUCE,

OR SHOULD I MAKE A RESERVATION FOR THE WEEK?

NO, NO, YOU WIN.

YOU MAKE THE SOUL FOOD.

WE'LL MAKE THE CHINESE FOOD.

NO MORE ALL YOU CAN EAT?

NO MORE.

BUT DON'T COME LOOKING IN HERE FOR FINGERS,

AND KEEP HIM OUT.

DEAL.

DEAL.

YOU'RE A SCARY MAN.

WHERE'S MY FORTUNE COOKIE?

[ SIGHS ] HERE, TAKE IT.

OOH, "GO TO JAY'S SOUL FOOD ACROSS THE STREET."

[ CHUCKLES ] HOPE THEY GOT RIBS.

I WROTE THAT BEFORE WE MADE OUR DEAL.

SO, WE AGREE WE'RE GONNA PEACEFULLY CO-EXIST TOGETHER?

YES, WE CAN BE KIND AND LOVING NEIGHBORS.

THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR EVERYBODY.

BAD NEWS!

AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT OPENED DOWN THE STREET.

YOU GO GET YOUR SCARY MAN, EMPTY HIM OUT,

AND BRING HIM BACK AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

I CAN FIND SOME MORE FINGERS AND A BABY TOE.

GOOD IDEA!

THIS IS THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YES.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE, GOT GREAT NEWS.

WE'RE GONNA NAME IT... [ LAUGHS ]

[ SHOUTS ]

YES, YES.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE, WE HAVE GREAT NEWS.

WE'RE GONNA CALL IT... [ LAUGHS ]

YEP, OUR CUSTOMERS ARE BACK.

OF COURSE THEY ARE

NOW THAT WE'VE SHOWN OUR SUPERIOR STRATEGIC STRENGTH

BY GIVING THEM THE FINGER.

WE WILL GROW STRONGER

WHILE THE HOUSE OF HOO WITHERS UNDER THE VINE.

Man: ON THE VINE.

ON, UNDER... WHAT?

[ LAUGHS ]