Original subtitles

HEY, BEAUTIFUL.

I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A FAMILY NIGHT.

HEY... WHOA, WHOA.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT... I JUST WALKED IN.

CAN I GET A "HELLO, DADDY, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, AS ALWAYS."

CAN I GET SOMETHING?

HELLO, DADDY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

YOU LOOK A'IGHT.

ALL RIGHT, SO, LOOK. LET'S TALK ABOUT FAMILY NIGHT.

OH, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER FAMILY NIGHT, JAY.

WE SEE EACH OTHER TOO MUCH ANYWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M THINKING MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE A NON-FAMILY NIGHT, HUH?

THAT'S WHERE WE ALL PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER

AND GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS.

ACTUALLY, WE SHOULD HAVE A NON-FAMILY YEAR.

WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT?

MICHAEL, WILL YOU PLEASE BE SERIOUS?

I'M BEING SERIOUS.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD THE PHRASE,

"ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER"?

IMAGINE HOW MUCH WE'D LIKE EACH OTHER

IF WE NEVER SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN.

WHATEVER, MICHAEL.

LOOK, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

THIS FRIDAY NIGHT THEY'RE HAVING A KARAOKE CONTEST,

AND IT WOULD BE GREAT IF WE ALL WENT TO...

KARAOKEOS!

AHA!

NOW I SEE YOUR EVIL SCHEME, JAY!

THIS FAMILY NIGHT IS JUST A RUSE FOR JAY,

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS "HAMMY HAMMERTON,"

TO GET BACK ONSTAGE AND IN THE SPOTLIGHT AGAIN.

MICHAEL, MICHAEL, MICHAEL, MICHAEL,

I HAVE A GENUINE DESIRE TO KEEP MY FAMILY TOGETHER.

THIS IS NOT SOME GREEDY PLOY.

HA HA HA HA!

I LAUGH ON YOUR LAPEL.

OKAY, IT IS SOME GREEDY PLOY,

BUT I STILL THINK IT WOULD BE FUN!

AU CONTRAIRE, MON FRèRE.

KARAOKE AND JAY DOES NOT EQUAL FUN.

AND WHY NOT?

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME WE DID KARAOKE?

OH, COME ON, MICHAEL. DON'T THROW THAT BACK AT ME.

THAT LITTLE STINKING HEIFER IN THE FRONT ROW HAD IT COMING,

CHOMPING ON THOSE POTATO CHIPS,

THROWING MY RHYTHM OFF WHILE I'M TRYING TO SING.

MAYBE BECAUSE IT WAS "POTATO CHIP NIGHT"

AT A PLACE CALLED "TATER CHIPS"?

LOOK, JAY, IT'S A BAD IDEA, OKAY?

YOU GET TOO COMPETITIVE WITH THESE THINGS.

NO, BABY, I DON'T. YES, YOU DO.

NO, BABE. THIS IS ABOUT FAMILY NIGHT.

SWEETIE, THIS IS FOR ALL OF US TO ENJOY.

FOR ALL OF US, HUH? THAT'S RIGHT.

OKAY, SO THEN I GUESS YOU WON'T MIND

IF I ENTERED THE CONTEST ALSO, HUH?

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I LAUGH ON YOUR LAPEL!

HA!

AND YOU SPIT ON MY LAPEL, TOO.

LOOK, YOU DON'T THINK I CAN WIN THE PRIZE?

WHILE I AM IN THE CONTEST? YEAH.

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU.

I AM A PROFESSIONAL-LEVEL TYPE SINGER.

OKAY?

NEED I REMIND YOU THAT I WAS IN "THE WIZ" IN HIGH SCHOOL?

WHOO! DON'T LET ME START IT, BOY!

BUT NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU PLAYED THE HOUSE IN "THE WIZ"?

YEAH, BUT I WAS GOOD, MICHAEL.

I WAS... I WAS DAMN GOOD!

I LIKED YOUR BACKYARD, THAT'S FOR SURE.

DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

LOOK, JAY, I COULD BEAT YOU IF I PUT MY MIND TO IT.

YOU COULD...

YEAH, BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT VOCAL TALENT.

THIS IS...

YEAH, YOU GOT A TINY EDGE ON ME THERE,

BUT IT'S ABOUT BEING THE COMPLETE ENTERTAINER.

SEE, IT'S ABOUT STAGE PRESENCE, CHARISMA,

THAT CERTAIN JE NE SAIS... QU-OOH-OHH-AAH!

...IN WHICH I WOULD...

DOMINATE.

OH, WOULD YOU, NOW? YEAH.

OKAY, WELL, IT'S ON THEN.

OH, IT'S ON. OKAY.

I'M NOT GONNA... I'M GONNA SAVE IT FOR...

DON'T HURT... DON'T HURT THAT...

WHOA... BAM! I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE BIT.

YOU ARE THE MOST MAGNIFICENT CREATURE

THAT EVER GRACED THIS EARTH.

AND I WOULD BE HONORED... OVERWHELMED...

IF YOU WOULD AGREE TO SHARE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME

SO WE COULD WALK THROUGH THE SANDS OF TIME TOGETHER.

WILL YOU MARRY ME, MY PRECIOUS?

NO! WHY NOT?

IT'S ILLEGAL IN THIS STATE.

NO, I MEAN, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT PROPOSAL?

OH, IT... IT WAS TOO FLOWERY. IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE ME.

I WOULD NEVER USE WORDS LIKE

"MAGNIFICENT" OR "PRECIOUS" OR "SAND."

LOOK...

I'VE GIVEN YOU THE MOST ROMANTIC PROPOSALS

THAT I CAN THINK OF.

HOW DO YOU WANT TO ASK HER TO MARRY YOU?

WELL, EVER SINCE I MET VANESSA,

I'VE BEEN FANTASIZING ABOUT THE EXACT WAY I WANT TO PROPOSE TO HER.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S HEAR IT.

OKAY. FIRST, I STAND ON A CHAIR.

WAIT A MINUTE.

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE?

NO! THAT SHOWS WEAKNESS!

ME STANDING ON A CHAIR IS SYMBOLIC

OF HOW I CAN LOOK OVER VANESSA AND THE BABY.

OKAY, THAT'S JUST STUPID.

CONTINUE.

OKAY.

THEN I TAKE HER LEFT HAND, AND I LOOK HER STRAIGHT IN HER EYES...

HOW CAN YOU LOOK HER STRAIGHT IN THE EYES

IF YOU'RE STANDING ON A CHAIR?

GOOD POINT. WELL, I'LL JUST GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE.

ACTUALLY, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FORGET THE CHAIR COMPLETELY

AND JUST STAND THERE?

NO! THAT'S NOT ROMANTIC!

OKAY, THAT'S EVEN MORE STUPID.

ALL RIGHT, CONTINUE.

OKAY, NOW IN MY FANTASY,

I UTTER THESE EXACT WORDS TO VANESSA...

VANESSA, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,

AND WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY TOGETHER.

AND FROM THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU,

MY LIFE CHANGED IN THE MOST AMAZING WAY.

I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE MY SOUL MATE,

AND I CANNOT GO ANOTHER DAY

WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO CALL YOU MY WIFE.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

[ Crying ] JUST... JUST SAY THAT!

HI, HONEY. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

ALLERGIES. HEY, BABY! LISTEN!

VANESSA, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,

AND WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY TOGETHER.

OH, YEAH, AND HE REALLY NEEDS TO BE CHANGED RIGHT NOW.

DO YOU SMELL THAT?

OHH! YEAH, OHH!

I MEAN, HOW CAN THAT COME OUT OF SUCH A LITTLE BABY?

ALL RIGHT, HERE. HOLD HIM.

LET ME GO GET HIS DIAPER BAG.

OHH!

MNH-MNH. MNH.

♪ OOH-AHH-OOH ♪

Jay and Vanessa: ♪ BABY LOVE, MY BABY LOVE ♪

♪ I NEED YOU, OH, HOW I NEED YOU ♪

STOP!

I DON'T NEED YOU THAT...

I DON'T NEED YOU THAT BAD, NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WAS SINGING.

YOUR SINGING PART GOES...

♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪

THAT'S ALL YOU DO.

SO I'M JUST BACKUP?

YES, BABY. SO BACK UP, BACKUP.

BACK IT UP.

WHOO! ONCE AGAIN, FROM THE TOP.

♪ OOH-AHH-OOH ♪

♪ BABY LOVE, MY BABY LOVE ♪

♪ I NEED YOU ♪

♪ OH, HOW I NEED YOU ♪

♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪ OOOOHHH!

SOMEBODY'S NOT "OH-OHING" RIGHT.

NOW, UM, I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS...

MY EYES WERE CLOSED OVER THERE,

SO LET'S FIND OUT, SHALL WE?

ONE AT A TIME...

♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪ GREAT!

♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪ PERFECT!

[ Off-key ] ♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪

EE-AAH!

CLAIRE...

UM, YOU... THE KEY IS...

YOU'RE WAY OFF IN THE JUNGLE SOMEWHERE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

I'M SORRY, MOM. I'M JUST NOT A VERY GOOD SINGER.

OH, BABY. BABY.

LISTEN...

APPARENTLY, HONEY, YOU GOT YOUR SINGING ABILITIES FROM DADDY,

AND, LUCKILY, YOU GOT YOUR LOOKS FROM MOMMY.

NOW, WE'RE GONNA TRY SOME VOCAL EXERCISES,

SO MOMMY'S GONNA HELP YOU, OKAY?

MAYBE THAT'LL HELP. SO, REPEAT AFTER ME.

READY?

[ Singing scales ] ♪ MI-MI-MI-MI-MI-MI-MI-MI-MI ♪

GO!

♪ YOU-YOU-YOU- YOU-YOU-YOU... ♪

YOU!

SHH!

UM, MMM, CLAIRE?

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE WHAT WE CALL IN THE BIZ...

"EYE CANDY."

SO, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A PAGE FROM THE BOOK OF MILLI VANILLI,

AND YOU'RE GONNA MOUTH THE WORDS, BUT...

MAKE SURE NO SOUND COMES OUT.

OKAY? LIKE THIS?

OH, BABY! YOU ARE SO T...

YOU LOOK GOOD.

OKAY, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN FROM...

HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?

MICHAEL, THIS IS A PRIVATE REHEARSAL.

NO SNOOPING ALLOWED.

I'M NOT SNOOPING. I'M JUST WALKING THROUGH.

HOW YOU GUYS DOING? HOW'S THE SINGING GOING?

WHATCHA SINGING?

OH, THIS!

AW, SHUCKS. OH, LOOK AT HER GO.

WHOO! THAT'S GOOD.

I LIKE THE CHOREOGRAPHY. WORK IT, GIRL.

Jay: NO, CLAIRE, THAT'S...

WHAT?

SHE'S TALENTED.

LAUGH IT UP. JUST KEEP LAUGHING IT UP.

I'M GONNA KEEP LAUGHING, AND, YOU KNOW WHAT?

FRIDAY NIGHT, THE KARA-JOKEY IS ON YOU!

YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME AND MY GIRLS?

WITH ONE LIP TIED BEHIND MY BACK.

ENJOY YOUR REHEARSAL, LADIES.

HEY, DAD, WHAT'S THE MOOD LIKE?

HOSTILE, JUST THE WAY I WANT IT.

ALL RIGHT, ONCE AGAIN FROM THE TOP.

NO SOUND.

♪ OOH-OOH ♪

♪ BABY LOVE, MY BABY... WHAT ♪

♪ WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ♪

♪ WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? ♪

I WAS JUST WAVING AT JUNIOR.

DURING MY REHEARSAL? NO WONDER DIANA WENT SOLO.

BOY! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

WELL, I HAD SOMETHING THAT I WANTED TO ASK VANESSA.

ON MY TIME?

YEAH, MOM, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

SO IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION THAT'S SO "CRITICAL"

THAT YOU HAVE TO STOP OUR REHEARSAL,

THEN BY ALL MEANS, JUNIOR, GO AHEAD.

YOU GOT TWO SECONDS!

THANK YOU.

VANESSA...

TIME'S UP! LET'S GO.

TAKE THIS CHAIR... WITH YOU!

♪ AIN'♪ AND SHE'S ALWAYS WHEN SHGONE TOO LONG ♪

♪ ANYTIME SHE GOES AWAY ♪

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW ♪

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW ♪

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW ♪

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW ♪

NO...

YOU DON'T KNOW.

THERE'S MORE LYRICS TO IT THAN THAT.

I KNOW.

DAD, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT VANESSA.

EVERY TIME I TRIED TO TALK TO HER,

I KEEP ON GETTING INTERRUPTED.

AND ALL I NEED TO DO IS GET HER TO FOCUS FOR FIVE MINUTES,

BUT IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE

IS CONSPIRING TO KEEP ME FROM DOING THAT.

AND I'M REALLY DEPRESSED, DAD,

AND I JUST NEED SOME GOOD ADVICE.

OKAY, LET ME SAY IT LIKE THIS.

AIN'T NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHE'S GONE.

THERE'S ONLY DARKNESS EVERY DAY.

AIN'T NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHE'S GONE.

AND THIS HOUSE... IT AIN'T NO HOME.

ANYTIME SHE GOES AWAY.

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW ♪

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW ♪

♪ AIN'T NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHE'S GONE ♪

YOU KNOW, WHAT? FRANKLIN!

I WANT TO CHANGE SONGS.

ALL RIGHT.

SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE MORE ENERGY, A LITTLE MORE OOMPH!

WELL, IF YOU WANT OOMPH,

THEN YOU WANT THE GODFATHER OF SOUL... JAMES BROWN.

♪ AAOWW! OH-OH-OH-OH-OH HOT PANTS! ♪

♪ AAOWW! OH-OH-OH HOT PANTS! ♪

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

OH, NO! WHAT?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M 15 MINUTES LATE FOR MY 3:45 CLASS!

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

IF YOU CAN DO IT WHILE I'M GETTING READY.

NOT HOW I PLANNED IT, BUT ALL RIGHT.

VANESSA, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN...

HAVE YOU SEEN MY WHITE SHOES?

BACK THERE.

OKAY. OKAY, OKAY.

OKAY.

VANESSA, YOU ARE...

HAVE YOU SEEN MY BREAST PUMP?

I NEED TO EMPTY BEFORE I GO TO CLASS.

EW. OVER THERE.

THANKS. OKAY.

OKAY, I'M LATE. I'LL PUMP IN THE CAR.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT MORE KYLE-CAKES COMING UP.

THESE PANCAKES ARE SUPERB, MR. KYLE.

THANK YOU. THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS ONIONS.

LISTEN, VANESSA,

I WANTED TO WAIT UNTIL WE WERE ALONE TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT I FIGURED I BETTER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS OPPORTUNITY.

VANESSA, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL...

BOY, IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN OFF MY CHAIR,

I WILL KICK IT FROM UNDERNEATH YOU.

AND THEN BEAT YOU WITH IT.

VANESSA, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY TOGETHER...

♪ GOOD MORNING, LOVED ONES ♪

♪ MY HANDSOME SON IS FINE ♪

♪ HIS LOVELY LADY AND THEIR BABY ♪

♪ LITTLE KADY HAS MY HEA-A-RT ♪

♪ AND HER BOYFRIEND, WHO IS SMA-A-RT ♪

♪ THEN THERE'S CLAIRE, WHO'S SO-O-O-O-O FAIR ♪

♪ AND THAT GUY OVER THERE ♪

♪ WITH NO HA-A-A-A-IR ♪

♪ GOOD MORNING ♪

♪ GOOD MORNING ♪

♪ GOOD MO-O-O-O-OH-OH-OH OH-OH-OH-O-RNING ♪

♪ AH ♪

YOU A'IGHT.

♪ YOU CAN SING ALL YOU LIKE ♪

♪ BUT I'M GONNA BEAT YOU TONIGHT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE BEST THAT THERE IS ♪

♪ EVEN THOUGH... YOU PLAYED THE HOUSE ♪

♪ THE HOUSE, THE HOUSE, THE HO-O-O-O-O-O-USE ♪

HA HA!

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

♪ GOODBYE, SON, IT'S BEEN FUN, NOW ♪

♪ CLEAN YOUR DISH AND YOU GET A KISS AND ♪

♪ DON'T FORGET THE GLASS, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS ♪

GRRRR!

WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?

I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING WRONG WITH JUNIOR?

♪ JUNIOR'S FINE, HE'S JUST CRABBY SOMETIMES ♪

OH, YEAH, SING IT. HEY, CLAIRE, HELP US OUT.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT AWAY?

♪ OOH-AAH-OOH ♪

♪ BABY LOVE ♪

♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪

♪ I NEED YOU, OH, HOW I NEED YOU ♪

♪ OH-OH-OH-OH ♪ ♪ ALL YOU DO IS TREAT ME BAD ♪

♪ BREAK MY HEART AND LEAVE ME SAD ♪

♪ TELL ME, BABY, WHAT... ♪

UH, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP.

♪ TO MAKE YOU STAY ♪ UM, HE... HELLO? HELLO?

MISS, YOU OKAY?

DID YOU FALL OFF THE STAGE? EXCUSE ME?

UM, YEAH, YOU'RE SINGING LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF THE GROUP,

BUT THE GROUP IS ALL UP ON THE STAGE,

SO I THOUGHT, WELL, MAYBE SHE FELL OFF THE STAGE.

I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST SINGING ALONG.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD BOTHER YOU.

WELL, IT DOES.

SO LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, THERE, MARY WILSON.

PRETEND THERE'S AN IMAGINARY LINE

THAT GOES FROM MY LIPS ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD.

NOW, IF YOU'RE BEHIND THAT LINE, YOU'RE BACKUP.

NOW, IF YOU'RE IN FRONT OF THAT LINE...

YOU SHUT UP!

NOW, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!

THAT'S RIGHT.

♪ OOH-AH-OH-OH-OH ♪

♪ BABY LOVE ♪

♪ MY BABY LOVE ♪

♪ I NEED YOU, OH, HOW I NEED YOU ♪

♪ ALL YOU DO IS TREAT ME BAD ♪

♪ TAKE MY HEART AND LEAVE ME SAD ♪

♪ BABY, TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG ♪

♪ TO MAKE YOU STAY AWAY SO LONG ♪

♪ I NEED YOU, NEED YOU ♪

[ High-pitched ] ♪ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! ♪

♪ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! ♪

♪ YEAH! ♪

WHOO!

WHOO! OH, GOD!

I CAN'T DO NO MORE!

YES, I CAN!

♪ WHOO! YEAH! YEAH! ♪

♪ DON'T COME BACK, BOY ♪

♪ YES, YOU DO YES, YOU DO ♪

♪ WHOO! YEAH! ♪

♪ YEAH! YEAH! ♪

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

CLAP FOR YOUR MOTHER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR NEXT?

Man: HOW ABOUT GOODBYE?

HMM, I DON'T KNOW THAT SONG.

NOT THE SONG... YOU SAY GOODBYE.

OKAY, HOW ABOUT A NICE HAND FOR THE LITTLE LADY?

I'M NOT FINISHED YET.

OH, YOU WERE FINISHED AN HOUR AGO. I'M NOT FINISHED!

I'D LIKE TO BRING ON OUR FINAL PERFORMER FOR THE EVENING,

MR. MICHAEL "J.B." KYLE.

[ As James Brown ] I THINK I'M READY TO DO MY THING.

♪ THIS IS A MAN'S WORLD ♪

♪ MAN'S WORLD ♪

♪ BUT IT WOULDN'T BE NOTHIN-N-N-N-N' ♪

♪ WITHOUT A WOMAN ♪

♪ OR A GRILL ♪

[ YELLING INDISTINCTLY ]

[ SINGING INDISTINCTLY ]

♪ TAKE IT DOWN THE ROAD ♪

♪ MAN, MAN, HE DID EVERYTHING ♪

♪ SO HE GO TO THE COMMODE ♪

♪ THIS IS A MAN'S WORLD ♪

[ SCATTERED APPLAUSE ]

♪ WHEN MAN MADE THE ELECTRIC LIGHT ♪

♪ THE ELECTRIC LIGHT, IT'S ELECTRIC ♪

♪ ELECTRIC LIGHT ♪

♪ THIS IS A MAN'S WORLD ♪

♪ THIS IS A MAN'S WORLD ♪

♪ IT'S A MA-A-N'S WORLD ♪

[ APPLAUSE ]

WELL... THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

CASHEW FALLS, CONNECTICUT, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU TO OUR LITTLE MIXIO.

MIXIO!

[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]

WHAT?

[ CONTINUES GIBBERISH ]

WELL, OKAY.

THANK YOU, MR. KYLE, FOR FINALLY CONCLUDING

THIS EVENING'S PERFORMANCES.

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE VOTING.

WAIT, WAIT! THERE'S ONE MORE ENTRY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JUNIOR?

WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO ALL WEEK.

HI, EVERYBODY.

I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY A COUPLE WORDS

TO THE MOST IMPORTANT WOMAN IN MY LIFE...

WHOO! THANK YOU, BABY. HA!

...VANESSA SCOTT.

HA HA HA!

LOOK, VANESSA, I MIGHT NOT BE THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE WORLD,

OR THE MOST HANDSOME GUY, THE TALLEST,

THE RICHEST, OR THE MOST INTERESTING,

AND SAYING "YES" TO ME

MIGHT BE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU MAKE IN YOUR LIFE,

BUT IT WOULD BE A BIGGER MISTAKE NOT TO ASK YOU.

SO...

[ SIGHS ] VANESSA...

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,

AND WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY TOGETHER.

AND FROM THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU,

MY LIFE CHANGED IN THE MOST AMAZING WAY.

I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE MY SOUL MATE,

AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ANOTHER DAY

WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO CALL YOU MY WIFE.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

IN MY MIND, JUNIOR,

YOU'RE THE SMARTEST, THE TALLEST,

THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD.

OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU.

[ APPLAUSE ]

DARN ALLERGIES!

WELL, I THINK IT'S PRETTY CLEAR

THAT WE HAVE A WINNER HERE TONIGHT...

JUNIOR KYLE.

YES!

THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!

THAT'S RIGHT! CELEBRATE, YEAH!

NO, BABY...

BABY!

WHOO-HOO!

WHOO-HOO!

♪ CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON ♪

YEAH, GET OFF THE STAGE. HURRY IT UP. WHOO!

♪ CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON ♪

CONGRATULATIONS!

WHOO!

♪ GOO♪ AH! ♪O-O-OH-OH-OH OH-OH-OH-O-RNING ♪

♪ WELL, YOU CAN SING, I SAID SI-I-I-NG ♪

♪ SI-I-I-NG ALL YOU LIKE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA LOSE, GIRL, TONIGHT ♪

♪ AND I DON'T KNOW THE REST OF THIS SONG ♪