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1
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It has been described as one of
the most vicious presidential races...
2
00:00:22,291 --> 00:00:24,126
...in the history
of American politics...
3
00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:25,628
...and one of the closest.
4
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:29,632
The Republican nominee
Senator Russell P. Kramer of Ohio...
5
00:00:29,799 --> 00:00:33,135
...is practically dead even
in the polls with is bitter rival...
6
00:00:33,603 --> 00:00:36,138
...democratic Governor
Matt Douglas of Indiana.
7
00:00:36,572 --> 00:00:39,642
To say there is no love lost
between these two candidates...
8
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,644
...is a gross understatement.
9
00:00:42,178 --> 00:00:46,649
Yet to night, in spite of their almost
overwhelming distaste for each other...
10
00:00:46,816 --> 00:00:49,151
...one man will have to
salute the other...
11
00:00:49,619 --> 00:00:53,623
...as the next President
of the United States.
12
00:01:17,013 --> 00:01:19,181
Thank you.
13
00:01:19,315 --> 00:01:20,683
Thank you. God bless you.
14
00:01:21,183 --> 00:01:23,686
What was once a dream.
15
00:01:23,853 --> 00:01:25,855
...is now a reality.
16
00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:30,192
I've always said that our dreams
are like our children.
17
00:01:30,359 --> 00:01:34,196
They need our encouragement
and support to grow.
18
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:36,699
They must be nurtured
and sheltered...
19
00:01:36,832 --> 00:01:37,700
...but...
20
00:01:37,867 --> 00:01:39,702
...allowed to run free.
21
00:01:40,203 --> 00:01:44,207
We are here to help your dream
become real, America.
22
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,709
And I'm confident
that we'll be here...
23
00:01:47,479 --> 00:01:51,147
...for a long, long time to come.
24
00:01:59,355 --> 00:02:04,360
And so it appears
the American people have spoken.
25
00:02:04,927 --> 00:02:06,229
A few minutes ago...
26
00:02:06,662 --> 00:02:10,666
...I congratulated Governor Douglas
on his victory.
27
00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:14,737
We fought bravely,
but for us the time has come...
28
00:02:14,871 --> 00:02:15,738
...to stand behind
our new president...
29
00:02:16,239 --> 00:02:19,742
...and put aside any feelings
of ill will...
30
00:02:20,176 --> 00:02:21,244
...rancor...
31
00:02:21,677 --> 00:02:22,745
...hostility...
32
00:02:22,879 --> 00:02:26,749
...and serious doubts about
this man's ability to lead a nation...
33
00:02:27,183 --> 00:02:29,952
...that I hope none of us feels.
34
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,282
A funny thing happened...
35
00:03:00,983 --> 00:03:01,784
...on the way to the office tonight.
36
00:03:01,951 --> 00:03:05,955
I got elected President
of the United States.
37
00:03:15,765 --> 00:03:19,302
A funny thing happened
on the way to the hotel tonight.
38
00:03:19,468 --> 00:03:21,304
Now. The people have spoken.
39
00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:24,307
Maybe we don't agree with them.
40
00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:25,808
Congratulations.
41
00:03:25,975 --> 00:03:27,310
What a night.
42
00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:28,811
It's time, sir.
43
00:03:30,479 --> 00:03:30,980
Well, all right then.
44
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,816
Shall we greet the nation
Mr. Vice President-elect.
45
00:03:33,983 --> 00:03:36,986
I guess, but are we sure it's official?
46
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,924
President Douglas just conceded.
I'd say that's a good sign.
47
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,096
Let's go.
48
00:04:21,731 --> 00:04:23,833
I have always believed that dreams...
49
00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:25,334
...are like children.
50
00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:28,337
They need encouragement
and support to grow.
51
00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:29,338
But ultimately...
52
00:04:29,739 --> 00:04:34,343
...it is perseverance that will turn
a dream into a reality...
53
00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:36,846
...countries into world powers...
54
00:04:37,815 --> 00:04:39,849
...and your own Hiroshi Ashino...
55
00:04:40,016 --> 00:04:44,020
...into Matsamuda's insurance
Underwriter of the Year.
56
00:04:56,265 --> 00:04:57,867
Pleasure. Good. Congrats.
57
00:05:07,877 --> 00:05:09,879
What?!
58
00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:14,550
Jesus Christ!
59
00:05:15,384 --> 00:05:18,888
The thing just grabbed me.
Am I supposed to knock it down ?
60
00:05:19,157 --> 00:05:21,390
-You handled it very well.
-You think so?
61
00:05:21,557 --> 00:05:23,893
Tomorrow there'll be a picture of me...
62
00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:26,896
...dancing with a giant dog
in every newspaper on this planet.
63
00:05:27,063 --> 00:05:28,397
It was a panda, sir.
64
00:05:28,798 --> 00:05:29,899
What's the difference?
65
00:05:30,066 --> 00:05:31,400
Why a Japanese company would--?
66
00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:34,403
I don't care.
Did Jefferson dance with a bear?
67
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,404
Did Lincoln?
68
00:05:35,571 --> 00:05:37,373
Did Reagan foxtrot with a panda?
69
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:38,374
I'll check...
70
00:05:38,541 --> 00:05:43,379
I was President of the United States
I don't dance with animals.
71
00:05:43,512 --> 00:05:44,881
No dancing with animals.
72
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:47,383
-A message from the president.
-Thanks, Jim.
73
00:05:47,717 --> 00:05:48,885
Jim's off today. I'm Bruce.
74
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:50,887
Sorry.
75
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:52,889
You and Jim look alike.
76
00:05:53,089 --> 00:05:55,091
Jim's black sir.
77
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:57,393
I know.
78
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,395
But you're both...
79
00:05:59,829 --> 00:06:01,831
...tall.
80
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:05,234
He's sending me to another funeral.
81
00:06:13,342 --> 00:06:15,444
I can't believe I just did it
with Matt Douglas.
82
00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:17,446
You were the leader
of the free world.
83
00:06:17,613 --> 00:06:20,449
My mother has a commemorative plate
with your face on it.
84
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,952
You haven't said anything
about my book.
85
00:06:23,452 --> 00:06:26,455
The new draft better?
86
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:31,460
I'm your editor. Keep in mind,
I'm supposed to be critical.
87
00:06:31,627 --> 00:06:32,461
It stinks, right?
88
00:06:32,962 --> 00:06:35,464
No, it doesn't-- I would never--
89
00:06:35,965 --> 00:06:38,467
lt is pretty stinky. Sorry.
90
00:06:39,035 --> 00:06:41,971
You spend too much of the book
talking about what you wanted to do...
91
00:06:42,371 --> 00:06:43,472
...not what you did.
92
00:06:43,573 --> 00:06:44,473
I didn't do much.
93
00:06:44,874 --> 00:06:46,876
How's that for honesty?
94
00:06:49,145 --> 00:06:50,479
I believe this is yours.
95
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:51,480
Look, Joanna...
96
00:06:52,081 --> 00:06:53,482
...if the book goes or not...
97
00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:54,984
...I don't care.
98
00:06:55,484 --> 00:06:58,487
I'm writing it, cause
I don't know what else to do.
99
00:06:58,588 --> 00:07:00,990
You've got plenty of options.
100
00:07:01,157 --> 00:07:01,991
Not really.
101
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,493
But I'll never be like Kramer...
102
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:07,496
...running around sucking up
every dime that isn't nailed down.
103
00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:09,498
Jimmy Carter, there's a class act.
104
00:07:09,665 --> 00:07:14,003
He goes around building homes
for poor people with his own hands.
105
00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:15,004
You could do that.
106
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,006
Yeah, maybe in a couple years.
107
00:07:17,607 --> 00:07:19,008
Right now my attitude is...
108
00:07:19,442 --> 00:07:22,445
"They didn't vote for me
let them freeze."
109
00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:29,518
That was too easy.
You're getting soft.
110
00:07:29,685 --> 00:07:32,521
We really wish you wouldn't do that.
You put yourself at risk.
111
00:07:32,922 --> 00:07:34,523
Right. Let me ask you...
112
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:38,027
...in the years ex-presidents
have had Secret Service protection...
113
00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:42,031
...has there ever been even
one assassination attempt?
114
00:07:42,365 --> 00:07:43,032
No, sir.
115
00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:44,534
I find that sad.
116
00:07:44,934 --> 00:07:46,035
The minute you're out
of the office...
117
00:07:46,502 --> 00:07:50,039
...they don't care enough
to kill you anymore.
118
00:07:50,373 --> 00:07:51,541
Before we go in...
119
00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:55,044
...we'd like to know how you got
out of the stall without us seeing.
120
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:57,046
Why don't you guys relax?
121
00:07:59,382 --> 00:08:01,217
Take a night off.
Go rent "In the Line of Fire" again.
122
00:08:11,494 --> 00:08:13,396
We'll be in Air Force One shortly,
President Douglas.
123
00:08:13,563 --> 00:08:17,400
I hate funerals It's awful when
another good Democrat passes on.
124
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:20,403
I believe the deceased
was a Republican.
125
00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:23,739
Then it might not be so bad.
126
00:08:30,012 --> 00:08:31,414
Hello, baby.
127
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:34,584
Daddy's home.
128
00:08:44,594 --> 00:08:47,597
There's the old seat.
129
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:52,101
President Douglas.
130
00:08:53,769 --> 00:08:55,771
President Kramer.
131
00:08:57,273 --> 00:09:00,276
Well, that covers that.
132
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,454
Russell...
133
00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:13,723
...I just have to ask.
134
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,459
When you dance with a panda...
135
00:09:16,726 --> 00:09:18,728
...who leads?
136
00:09:28,137 --> 00:09:31,140
Are you working on your book?
137
00:09:32,308 --> 00:09:34,977
I find writing very gratifying.
I must.
138
00:09:35,545 --> 00:09:37,980
I've written seven books
on my years at the helm.
139
00:09:38,314 --> 00:09:42,318
You've obviously got
a great knack for fiction.
140
00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:47,156
And how is Mrs. Douglas?
141
00:09:47,657 --> 00:09:49,492
We're in the middle of a divorce.
142
00:09:49,825 --> 00:09:50,993
I knew that, didn't I?
143
00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:54,997
I guess life in the White House
put a strain on your marriage.
144
00:09:55,264 --> 00:09:58,501
It was being out of the White House
that Katherine couldn't stand.
145
00:09:58,668 --> 00:09:59,502
That's funny.
146
00:09:59,769 --> 00:10:03,005
It went over well
with the rest of the country.
147
00:10:03,172 --> 00:10:04,507
Want to compare popularity polls?
148
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,509
Let's talk about popularity.
149
00:10:06,842 --> 00:10:10,012
There was only. one assassination
attempt on me. You had three.
150
00:10:10,179 --> 00:10:13,015
Two the woman in Phoenix does
not count! She had a starter pistol!
151
00:10:13,182 --> 00:10:13,516
Stop.
152
00:10:13,983 --> 00:10:15,017
Just stop.
153
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,019
We're here because a man died.
154
00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:20,523
We can attempt some semblance
of civility, can't we?
155
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,692
I know I can.
156
00:10:25,695 --> 00:10:28,531
You're a whore, admit it.
Admit you're a big whore.
157
00:10:28,698 --> 00:10:32,034
Name three women in Dc. you
didn't bang when you were in office.
158
00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:33,536
What am I talking? Name one.
159
00:10:33,936 --> 00:10:36,873
-Screw you.
-Blow me.
160
00:10:39,609 --> 00:10:41,711
When I appointed
General Charles Sherman...
161
00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:43,212
.to the Joint Chiefs...
162
00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:46,215
...I knew he was a man
with a dream.
163
00:10:46,382 --> 00:10:51,387
I have always believed
that dreams are like our children.
164
00:10:52,121 --> 00:10:54,223
Buy a new speech, Russell.
165
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:57,727
That dead general's lucky.
He won't have to hear it again.
166
00:10:58,327 --> 00:11:00,229
Grab me a towel, will you?
167
00:11:00,396 --> 00:11:03,733
I don't like to interrupted
while on the bike. What's going on?
168
00:11:04,133 --> 00:11:06,235
I'm afraid a situation's come up.
169
00:11:06,536 --> 00:11:10,239
The Democrats may have some
damaging information about...
170
00:11:10,406 --> 00:11:11,741
...Olympia...
171
00:11:13,142 --> 00:11:14,243
Olympia?
172
00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:16,245
We've had that buried for years.
173
00:11:16,412 --> 00:11:17,747
I was thinking...
174
00:11:18,147 --> 00:11:21,250
...when all this took place,
Kramer was President.
175
00:11:21,751 --> 00:11:23,753
Possibly we can lay the scandal on him.
176
00:11:25,054 --> 00:11:26,255
He didn't know anything about it.
177
00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:28,758
Could always make it appear he did.
178
00:11:28,858 --> 00:11:32,261
A little fiddling with the records,
some rewriting of history.
179
00:11:32,662 --> 00:11:35,264
I don't know, Carl.
That's tricky stuff.
180
00:11:35,431 --> 00:11:37,767
That'd open a whole new bag of cats.
181
00:11:37,934 --> 00:11:41,270
My honest opinion. lf this matter
isn't taken care of immediately...
182
00:11:41,571 --> 00:11:44,774
...no less than the presidency
is at stake.
183
00:11:45,274 --> 00:11:49,278
Don't worry. I can promise this
is the last you'll hear about it.
184
00:11:49,579 --> 00:11:51,581
Hear about what?
185
00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:58,454
Mrs Sherman told me
Charlie had a favorite song.
186
00:11:59,288 --> 00:12:00,790
One that cheered him up.
187
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:03,292
Please God,
don't let him quote lyrics.
188
00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:06,796
I can't think of anything more
fitting than to share with you...
189
00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:08,297
...the words from that song.
190
00:12:08,698 --> 00:12:10,700
Oh, Christ.
191
00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:13,803
"Muskrat Susie
192
00:12:13,903 --> 00:12:15,304
"Muskrat Sam
193
00:12:15,471 --> 00:12:18,307
"Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat-land
194
00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:20,476
"And they shimmy
195
00:12:23,479 --> 00:12:25,481
"And Sammy's so skinny."
196
00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,892
How are you doing?
197
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,761
Hello, Senator.
198
00:12:39,061 --> 00:12:41,063
Good to see you.
199
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:45,268
Nice to have seen you.
200
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,770
Mr. President, hello.
201
00:12:47,937 --> 00:12:50,273
What a lovely surprise.
202
00:12:50,406 --> 00:12:52,775
And how is my favorite
TV newsperson?
203
00:12:53,175 --> 00:12:54,277
I'm your favorite?
204
00:12:54,777 --> 00:12:56,279
I thought Diane Sawyer was.
205
00:12:56,579 --> 00:12:58,581
She is. How is she?
206
00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:02,785
Rumor has it a major scandal
is about to blow...
207
00:13:02,985 --> 00:13:04,787
...and it may involve you.
208
00:13:04,921 --> 00:13:06,289
No, not me, Kaye.
209
00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:08,291
My nose is clean.
210
00:13:08,457 --> 00:13:12,795
I heard that in your last year
in office you took a very generous...
211
00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:13,796
..."fee"...
212
00:13:13,996 --> 00:13:15,298
...for delivering a defense contract.
213
00:13:15,698 --> 00:13:16,799
I'm just...
214
00:13:16,966 --> 00:13:18,301
...looking for a confirmation.
215
00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:22,605
Are you saying that
I took a kickback.?
216
00:13:24,207 --> 00:13:26,309
Excuse me, got a minute?
217
00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:29,812
Looks like Haney's involved
in this Kramer kickback story.
218
00:13:30,112 --> 00:13:34,116
But a defense contractor's prepared
to say he paid Kramer off.
219
00:13:34,784 --> 00:13:36,319
Then that's that Case closed
220
00:13:36,452 --> 00:13:39,822
No, it's not. Our sources tell us
Haney's shifting the blame.
221
00:13:39,989 --> 00:13:41,824
Word is, it was done over lunch.
222
00:13:42,291 --> 00:13:43,826
-Really?
-Just you and the contractor.
223
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:44,827
Very cozy.
224
00:13:45,061 --> 00:13:46,829
Who is this contractor?
225
00:13:47,196 --> 00:13:48,831
Charlie Reynolds.
226
00:13:49,198 --> 00:13:51,334
Oh, you're kidding.
227
00:13:51,701 --> 00:13:54,337
You know I would tell you
the name of the contractor...
228
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:56,339
...if I was your favorite
TV newsperson.
229
00:13:56,806 --> 00:13:58,341
But since I'm not...
230
00:13:58,708 --> 00:14:00,710
Take care.
231
00:14:03,512 --> 00:14:04,347
Did you hear that?
232
00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:06,849
I did. It's a crock
and we both know it.
233
00:14:07,016 --> 00:14:09,852
It's a kick in the balls.
Sorry, sweetheart.
234
00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:12,855
I'm a politician's wife.
I have a set of my own.
235
00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:16,859
I know you and Charlie were friends
but he's in over his head.
236
00:14:17,226 --> 00:14:19,862
You're going to Washington
for the book convention?
237
00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:22,865
It'd be a great time to talk to him.
238
00:14:23,332 --> 00:14:26,369
I'd like to help you, Joe,
but I'm not getting involved.
239
00:14:26,936 --> 00:14:28,371
lf you do this for us...
240
00:14:28,838 --> 00:14:30,373
...the Party'll be grateful.
241
00:14:30,606 --> 00:14:33,376
We both know you want another crack
at the Oval Office.
242
00:14:33,609 --> 00:14:36,879
I told you I was thinking about
running again. Just thinking.
243
00:14:37,246 --> 00:14:38,881
The Party wouldn't back me.
244
00:14:39,348 --> 00:14:41,350
Besides they wouldn't.
245
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:42,885
-Would they?
-Of course, they would.
246
00:14:43,119 --> 00:14:45,888
I'm the Democratic Chairman.
We need your help.
247
00:14:46,055 --> 00:14:50,893
If you're seriously considering
running again, you'll need ours.
248
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,395
When did this supposedly happen?
249
00:14:52,762 --> 00:14:54,397
It was seven years ago.
250
00:14:54,564 --> 00:14:55,898
I don't understand it.
251
00:14:56,465 --> 00:14:59,902
Why me and why now?
Who'll benefit from framing me?
252
00:15:00,469 --> 00:15:03,472
The President of the United States.
253
00:15:19,655 --> 00:15:20,923
I thought about your offer.
254
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:22,425
Not that I'd run again...
255
00:15:22,992 --> 00:15:27,930
...but you really think
the Party'd back me if I helped out?
256
00:15:28,164 --> 00:15:30,166
It's already been discussed.
257
00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:32,935
Really?
258
00:15:33,302 --> 00:15:37,306
Now that I think of it
there is an extra bonus to this.
259
00:15:39,008 --> 00:15:41,444
I either get the son of a bitch
I hate...
260
00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:41,944
Good to see you.
261
00:15:42,511 --> 00:15:46,515
...or the son of a bitch I really hate.
262
00:15:48,517 --> 00:15:50,519
I'll do it.
263
00:15:55,124 --> 00:15:58,461
Get me the name of that contractor.
You must dig that up.
264
00:15:58,961 --> 00:16:00,963
I'll get right on it.
265
00:16:02,465 --> 00:16:04,967
We agreed the zipper would be
in the up position.
266
00:16:05,468 --> 00:16:08,471
it's part of the deal.
267
00:16:09,372 --> 00:16:12,975
I wonder what they'd pay me
if I tattooed their logo on my ass.
268
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:16,279
-I could ask, sir.
-Just drive the cart!
269
00:16:29,659 --> 00:16:32,495
I've actually thought about
playing professionally.
270
00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:33,996
I don't know about that
271
00:16:34,497 --> 00:16:39,502
I think the ladies' tour likes
their payers to be more masculine.
272
00:16:56,652 --> 00:16:58,654
Hold this.
273
00:17:04,227 --> 00:17:07,029
Thank you, Russ. That's for you.
274
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:10,533
You son of a
275
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,552
I'm so sorry
and I'm so embarrassed.
276
00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:33,055
And I hope this doesn't scare you
away from golf.
277
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,057
Because it's such a great sport.
278
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:38,060
I know your people,
the black people...
279
00:17:38,227 --> 00:17:39,562
...don't enjoy the game.
280
00:17:39,695 --> 00:17:43,065
it's because you can't get into
the nice clubs, the restricted ones.
281
00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:45,568
But blacks are so good
at many sports.
282
00:17:45,768 --> 00:17:50,573
Maybe it's good that we white folk
have a sport you guys aren't so good at.
283
00:17:50,773 --> 00:17:51,574
Mr. Vice President, this way.
284
00:17:52,074 --> 00:17:55,077
-ls there a problem?
-There'll be less of one if you come.
285
00:17:55,244 --> 00:17:55,578
So long.
286
00:17:56,078 --> 00:17:59,081
I'm getting a cramp.
287
00:18:02,251 --> 00:18:06,088
Interesting game.
You're playing pretty tough.
288
00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:08,257
Tough enough to win, I hope.
289
00:18:08,791 --> 00:18:09,592
Maybe.
290
00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:12,728
You never know when
you'll get stuck with a bad lie.
291
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:25,608
Here I come, fighting back
from behind
292
00:18:25,741 --> 00:18:28,110
Too little, too late.
You'll never catch us.
293
00:18:28,277 --> 00:18:31,280
I'm pretty sure
I'll catch one of you.
294
00:18:38,621 --> 00:18:41,591
Excellent work, Caldwell.
I'll be in touch.
295
00:18:41,924 --> 00:18:42,592
What'd he find?
296
00:18:43,025 --> 00:18:47,096
Charlie Reynolds is the frigging guy
who says I took the kickback.
297
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:50,600
Don't say "frigging." If you must use
the F-word, go for the gold.
298
00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:52,101
Why would he say that?
299
00:18:52,535 --> 00:18:54,103
I think he's covering for Haney.
300
00:18:54,303 --> 00:18:57,106
it's Haney's mess
and he's shifting it to me.
301
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,608
I didn't think he was that smart.
302
00:19:00,543 --> 00:19:01,110
He learned from the master.
303
00:19:01,344 --> 00:19:05,114
I met him once. Haney brought him
into the office for lunch.
304
00:19:05,348 --> 00:19:09,118
As I remember, we sat around
talking about golf most of the time.
305
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:12,121
Now Reynolds is getting ready
to release an affidavit saying...
306
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:15,458
...that he was alone with me.
307
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:17,627
Don't do that with the liquor.
308
00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:20,796
it's so...George Bush.
309
00:19:22,865 --> 00:19:23,633
Wait.
310
00:19:24,066 --> 00:19:25,134
Wait a minute.
311
00:19:25,368 --> 00:19:28,137
If the meeting took place
in the Oval Office...
312
00:19:28,371 --> 00:19:33,142
...then there's a record of it
in the log naming everyone present.
313
00:19:33,309 --> 00:19:34,143
This is easy.
314
00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,145
I send Caldwell to the archives...
315
00:19:36,579 --> 00:19:39,148
...and get some hard evidence
I can shove in Reynolds' face.
316
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:40,650
Well done, dear.
317
00:19:40,983 --> 00:19:45,154
Before we check out, do you want me
to steal the little shampoos?
318
00:19:45,388 --> 00:19:49,158
Oh God, Margaret,
come on now. Please.
319
00:19:49,325 --> 00:19:51,327
I already got them.
320
00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:01,604
It's not there?!
321
00:20:01,938 --> 00:20:04,607
I have the appointment log
right in front of me.
322
00:20:04,874 --> 00:20:08,611
I see your name, Charles Reynolds'
name, and at the bottom...
323
00:20:08,911 --> 00:20:12,114
...the word "Olympia" circled in red.
324
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,517
Sir?
325
00:20:19,288 --> 00:20:23,626
Don't be a moron, Charlie! You're
saying you offered me a kickback...
326
00:20:24,126 --> 00:20:24,627
...and I took it?!
327
00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:27,129
That's how I remember it.
328
00:20:27,296 --> 00:20:29,632
As I recall just the two of us
were there.
329
00:20:29,932 --> 00:20:31,634
You were pleased about the deal.
330
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:34,637
Just the two of us?
Are you sure about that?
331
00:20:35,037 --> 00:20:37,139
There's nothing more to discuss.
332
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,643
We have lots to discuss
How's this for openers?
333
00:20:40,743 --> 00:20:44,647
You and your buddies tampering
with documents in the archives?
334
00:20:45,147 --> 00:20:48,150
That'll be hard to explain
when you get subpoenaed.
335
00:20:48,651 --> 00:20:51,654
I'm sorry, sir. I have no idea
what you're talking about.
336
00:20:52,054 --> 00:20:56,058
I'm going to have to stand
by my original statement.
337
00:20:56,325 --> 00:20:59,328
You'll have to stand alone.
338
00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:06,669
-Let's go, Bruce.
-It's Jim.
339
00:21:07,069 --> 00:21:08,671
Yeah, you're black and tall.
340
00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:12,174
Whoopdee-frigging-do.
341
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,181
Mr. Reynolds...
342
00:21:19,582 --> 00:21:20,683
...the president's here.
343
00:21:20,850 --> 00:21:22,184
He just left.
344
00:21:22,351 --> 00:21:24,186
No, another one.
345
00:21:24,353 --> 00:21:26,355
Charlie, old buddy!
346
00:21:26,989 --> 00:21:28,691
How about we take a walk?
347
00:21:28,791 --> 00:21:31,794
Talk about old times.
348
00:21:33,996 --> 00:21:35,197
I assure you...
349
00:21:35,364 --> 00:21:38,701
...the arrangement was made
with President Kramer alone.
350
00:21:38,868 --> 00:21:43,706
We're friends. I want to believe you,
but some people say it wasn't that way.
351
00:21:43,806 --> 00:21:46,209
This is turning into
a huge political bomb.
352
00:21:46,642 --> 00:21:50,713
Not that I mind, because when
it blows, my party's going to be in.
353
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,181
Look...
354
00:21:52,381 --> 00:21:55,218
...Haney, Kramer,
one of them is going down.
355
00:21:55,718 --> 00:21:59,222
Now the Democrats can offer you
immunity if you give us the name.
356
00:21:59,388 --> 00:22:01,224
Now, come on, who took the kickback?
357
00:22:01,724 --> 00:22:02,725
Please tell me it's Kramer.
358
00:22:03,326 --> 00:22:07,330
If it is I'll give you
a big kiss on the lips.
359
00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:13,736
Carl, I'm in a very tough spot here.
360
00:22:13,903 --> 00:22:15,738
I know. There's nothing
to worry about.
361
00:22:16,239 --> 00:22:16,739
Hang tight.
362
00:22:17,039 --> 00:22:21,244
They came to my office yesterday!
They came to my place of business!
363
00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:24,247
Now, look, I know we have a deal...
364
00:22:24,413 --> 00:22:27,250
...but if I knew this would happen
I wouldn't have signed on.
365
00:22:27,650 --> 00:22:31,754
Be calm and know you have the full.
power of the White House behind you.
366
00:22:31,921 --> 00:22:34,924
Okay? I'll be in touch.
367
00:22:36,692 --> 00:22:38,261
Reynolds sounds shaky.
368
00:22:39,262 --> 00:22:43,266
I better get over there
and give our friend moral support.
369
00:22:52,441 --> 00:22:55,278
Okay, folks, please step back.
Form a line
370
00:22:55,778 --> 00:22:57,280
Everyone will get an autograph.
371
00:22:57,446 --> 00:22:59,782
He wrote a cookbook How dare he?
372
00:23:00,082 --> 00:23:02,285
When he was President
he cooked for his guests.
373
00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:03,286
That's not the point.
374
00:23:03,786 --> 00:23:05,788
Did Washington write
about wooden teeth?
375
00:23:06,188 --> 00:23:09,792
"Did Taft write
Thirty Days to a Slimmer Ass"?
376
00:23:09,959 --> 00:23:11,294
It's shameful.
377
00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:12,795
Mr. President?
378
00:23:12,962 --> 00:23:14,964
It's okay, Chet.
379
00:23:16,365 --> 00:23:19,802
Mr. Reynolds would appreciate
your signing this for his daughter.
380
00:23:19,902 --> 00:23:21,304
Who? Charlie?
381
00:23:29,412 --> 00:23:31,414
Be glad to.
382
00:23:32,215 --> 00:23:33,316
There you go.
383
00:23:33,916 --> 00:23:36,919
This'll make him very happy.
384
00:23:38,821 --> 00:23:40,323
President Douglas...
385
00:23:40,623 --> 00:23:42,825
...here's the sandwich you ordered.
386
00:23:42,992 --> 00:23:44,994
Just one moment.
387
00:23:49,232 --> 00:23:51,234
Chet, could you...?
388
00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:54,837
I didn't order a sandwich.
389
00:23:55,171 --> 00:23:55,738
Yes, sir.
390
00:23:56,339 --> 00:23:56,839
Sandwich boy.
391
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:58,341
Come with us
392
00:23:58,741 --> 00:24:01,344
Drop the bag.
Hands behind your back.
393
00:24:01,510 --> 00:24:02,345
What'd I do?
394
00:24:02,511 --> 00:24:03,579
-Don't move
-He said turkey and Swiss!
395
00:24:03,579 --> 00:24:03,846
-Don't move
-He said turkey and Swiss!
396
00:24:04,247 --> 00:24:06,249
-What's in the bag?
-A sandwich.
397
00:24:49,292 --> 00:24:50,359
You made the right choice.
398
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,361
I hope so, Matt.
399
00:24:52,495 --> 00:24:54,497
Get in.
400
00:24:58,568 --> 00:25:00,870
it's my duty to officially
serve you with a subpoena.
401
00:25:01,037 --> 00:25:04,040
Oh, God. Did you have to do that?
402
00:25:04,473 --> 00:25:06,475
I always admired you.
403
00:25:07,677 --> 00:25:09,679
The hell...
404
00:25:10,746 --> 00:25:12,381
My ex-wife.
405
00:25:12,548 --> 00:25:14,383
Damn.
406
00:25:14,550 --> 00:25:18,888
Don't ever get a divorce, Charlie.
I swear, half the time...
407
00:25:19,055 --> 00:25:22,058
...I wish somebody'd
walk up and shoot me.
408
00:25:23,893 --> 00:25:25,394
Oh, my God!
409
00:25:25,561 --> 00:25:28,564
What are you doing?!
410
00:25:29,065 --> 00:25:31,901
What's going on. Douglas?
Oh, my God.
411
00:25:32,268 --> 00:25:33,402
He's dead.
412
00:25:33,569 --> 00:25:35,404
Oh, my God! What the hell?
413
00:25:35,771 --> 00:25:36,906
Don't make a scene.
414
00:25:37,206 --> 00:25:39,408
-What did you do?!
-What did I do?!
415
00:25:39,575 --> 00:25:42,912
You caught me. We got in a fight
about your cookbook so I plugged him.
416
00:25:45,214 --> 00:25:45,414
You got a problem
with my cookbook?
417
00:25:45,715 --> 00:25:48,918
We are two ex-presidents
inches away from a dead man.
418
00:25:49,085 --> 00:25:50,419
Not a good place to be.
419
00:25:50,586 --> 00:25:52,922
What were you doing with Reynolds?
You know about Olympia, don't you?
420
00:25:53,089 --> 00:25:55,925
-I know about the kickback you took.
-I didn't take one!
421
00:25:56,225 --> 00:25:59,428
-What business is it of yours anyway?
-Where can we talk?
422
00:25:59,595 --> 00:26:02,598
I know, follow me.
423
00:26:17,213 --> 00:26:19,649
For the last time,
I'm telling everything I know.
424
00:26:19,916 --> 00:26:22,652
And I don't have the slightest clue
what Olympia is?
425
00:26:23,219 --> 00:26:25,655
Excuse me, Dad.
Did you want a drink?
426
00:26:25,821 --> 00:26:27,156
Fruit juice, honey.
427
00:26:27,723 --> 00:26:29,659
-Vodka tonic
-I'm sure we can swing that.
428
00:26:30,226 --> 00:26:31,160
I never touch alcohol.
429
00:26:31,494 --> 00:26:33,162
Dulls the senses.
430
00:26:33,329 --> 00:26:35,331
You're full of shit.
431
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:37,667
Hi, there.
432
00:26:37,833 --> 00:26:39,168
We're talking big-people talk.
433
00:26:39,335 --> 00:26:40,670
Did you hear that?
434
00:26:40,836 --> 00:26:42,171
Here, here.
435
00:26:42,338 --> 00:26:43,673
Money. For you.
436
00:26:44,373 --> 00:26:44,674
Thanks.
437
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,175
-Don't do that
-Why?
438
00:26:46,342 --> 00:26:49,178
I'm showing him
how you got elected.
439
00:26:49,579 --> 00:26:50,680
Play with me.
440
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:56,285
I can't right now Davy. But, here.
See, take this and run along.
441
00:26:57,587 --> 00:26:58,688
Give me the gun.
442
00:26:58,988 --> 00:27:02,692
You go hide. I'll count from 100
and then come find you. Okay?
443
00:27:03,192 --> 00:27:05,194
Skedaddle. One hundred...
444
00:27:05,361 --> 00:27:07,196
...ninety-nine.....
445
00:27:08,864 --> 00:27:09,365
Okay, where were we?
446
00:27:12,201 --> 00:27:14,203
Maybe you weren't involved
in Charlie's death...
447
00:27:14,337 --> 00:27:16,205
...but you're involved somehow.
448
00:27:16,706 --> 00:27:20,209
I'm involved? What about you?
You were sitting in a dead man's car.
449
00:27:20,610 --> 00:27:22,712
Now you know. I enjoy
spending time with dead men.
450
00:27:23,012 --> 00:27:24,714
-You don't believe me?
-Go ahead and die.
451
00:27:24,881 --> 00:27:25,715
It'll perk me up.
452
00:27:26,115 --> 00:27:27,183
You...
453
00:27:27,383 --> 00:27:29,385
Someone's here for you.
454
00:27:30,887 --> 00:27:33,723
Good afternoon, sirs.
Colonel Paul Tanner, NSA.
455
00:27:33,890 --> 00:27:37,226
President Haney must meet with
the both of you as quickly as possible.
456
00:27:37,393 --> 00:27:39,729
We have transportation
to Camp David.
457
00:27:40,229 --> 00:27:41,731
How'd you find us here?
458
00:27:42,031 --> 00:27:44,734
We know where you are
at all times, sir.
459
00:27:45,334 --> 00:27:48,337
That's our business.
460
00:28:21,938 --> 00:28:22,772
Major...
461
00:28:22,939 --> 00:28:26,275
...is there a problem? The flight
to Camp David isn't this long.
462
00:28:26,676 --> 00:28:28,778
My orders didn't mention Camp David.
463
00:28:28,945 --> 00:28:31,781
We were told we were going
to Camp David to see Haney.
464
00:28:31,948 --> 00:28:35,952
Sir, as far as know,
President Haney's at the White House.
465
00:28:36,786 --> 00:28:37,787
Something's wrong.
466
00:28:37,954 --> 00:28:40,289
-Now what?
-Haney's in Washington.
467
00:28:40,690 --> 00:28:42,792
They are taking us out
in the middle of nowhere.
468
00:28:42,959 --> 00:28:45,294
That duplicitous little turd.
469
00:28:45,461 --> 00:28:47,296
I want to speak to the White House.
470
00:28:47,697 --> 00:28:50,299
I'm sorry. I've been. instructed
to maintain radio silence.
471
00:28:51,234 --> 00:28:52,802
Then put this bird on the ground, now!
472
00:28:53,102 --> 00:28:53,803
That's an order.
473
00:28:54,203 --> 00:28:58,207
Respectfully sir, I can't do that.
My orders are classified.
474
00:28:58,407 --> 00:28:59,809
All right.....
475
00:28:59,976 --> 00:29:03,980
Land this contraption or
I'll blow your head off!
476
00:29:13,422 --> 00:29:17,426
You said you wanted
to maintain radio silence...
477
00:29:17,994 --> 00:29:18,828
What the hell?!
478
00:29:19,328 --> 00:29:22,331
Don't shoot a gun in a confined area!
You want to deafen us.
479
00:29:23,332 --> 00:29:24,333
Just get out of the chopper.
480
00:29:24,734 --> 00:29:26,836
-Get out of the chopper!
-The crops?
481
00:29:27,236 --> 00:29:30,239
Get out!
482
00:29:37,747 --> 00:29:39,348
What we do now?
483
00:29:39,515 --> 00:29:42,351
It's our butts if we let them
out of sight.
484
00:29:42,752 --> 00:29:46,856
lf I have to get a hearing aid
after this, I'm sending you the bill.
485
00:29:47,356 --> 00:29:51,360
if I have to listen to you bitch,
I'll beat you to death with my shoe!
486
00:29:51,761 --> 00:29:54,864
Now what the hell are they doing?
Get out of here!
487
00:29:55,364 --> 00:29:57,366
Go on, get going! Shoo! Shoo!
488
00:29:57,867 --> 00:29:59,368
They're not leaving.
489
00:29:59,535 --> 00:30:00,870
Maybe if you make a scary face.....
490
00:30:01,270 --> 00:30:02,872
Wait a minute, Einstein.
491
00:30:03,039 --> 00:30:06,375
We never had to leave the chopper!
You've got their gun!
492
00:30:06,943 --> 00:30:08,878
We could've made them
take us back to Washington.
493
00:30:09,045 --> 00:30:10,379
Now you figure that out!
494
00:30:10,546 --> 00:30:13,382
As usual, a Republican comes up
with a plan while the Democrat...
495
00:30:13,883 --> 00:30:15,384
...wanders in the woods.
496
00:30:15,785 --> 00:30:17,386
Flag them down.
497
00:30:17,687 --> 00:30:18,888
Come on down.
498
00:30:19,288 --> 00:30:20,389
Bring it down.
499
00:30:20,690 --> 00:30:23,693
Bring...it...down!
500
00:30:43,212 --> 00:30:45,214
They're down.
501
00:30:59,528 --> 00:31:03,933
I don't believe this it's madness.
You know what gives me the red ass?
502
00:31:04,233 --> 00:31:04,934
The red ass?
503
00:31:05,334 --> 00:31:06,936
Haney's behind all this.
504
00:31:07,336 --> 00:31:09,939
Damn it, he's not going to get
away with it. We'll go public.
505
00:31:10,540 --> 00:31:11,941
I'll call Kaye Griffin.
506
00:31:12,108 --> 00:31:15,945
We'll go on TV and tell them about
Reynolds, murder and the explosion.
507
00:31:16,345 --> 00:31:19,448
Are you crazy?
We can't go public without evidence.
508
00:31:19,949 --> 00:31:20,950
We'll look like couple of morons.
509
00:31:21,450 --> 00:31:22,451
The people will believe us!
510
00:31:22,885 --> 00:31:23,452
Why?
511
00:31:23,619 --> 00:31:25,621
Because we're presidents.
512
00:31:27,456 --> 00:31:30,960
They won't believe us.
What are we supposed to do?
513
00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:33,062
I don't know.
514
00:31:36,632 --> 00:31:37,466
Call Douglas's and Kramer's families.
515
00:31:37,633 --> 00:31:39,969
Tell them the presidents're called
on an emergency summit.
516
00:31:40,136 --> 00:31:42,471
They will not be reachable and
we have no further information.
517
00:31:42,872 --> 00:31:43,973
Unless you find them in the wreckage...
518
00:31:44,207 --> 00:31:46,976
...they're still out there with
about a three-hour head start.
519
00:31:47,376 --> 00:31:49,478
Put up the checkpoints for
ten miles around the crash site.
520
00:31:49,812 --> 00:31:52,815
I want this resolved tonight.
521
00:32:00,289 --> 00:32:04,293
I'm hungry. Give me one of those
Tootsie Rolls you've got.
522
00:32:05,294 --> 00:32:07,296
Wait a minute.
523
00:32:08,497 --> 00:32:09,999
Here's half. You owe me.
524
00:32:10,166 --> 00:32:11,500
I owe you?
525
00:32:11,601 --> 00:32:15,605
What, a penny? Man, you are
one cheap son of a bitch.
526
00:32:20,676 --> 00:32:23,012
I am one cheap son of a bitch.
527
00:32:23,179 --> 00:32:25,514
That's what'll save our backsides!
528
00:32:25,681 --> 00:32:30,019
I had the White House kitchen staff
track every meal.
529
00:32:30,186 --> 00:32:33,522
They have a record of
everything served, and to whom.
530
00:32:33,689 --> 00:32:35,024
You're cheaper than I thought.
531
00:32:35,191 --> 00:32:36,525
Stow it, sailor!
532
00:32:36,626 --> 00:32:40,029
The log will prove Haney was
at that lunch with Reynolds.
533
00:32:40,196 --> 00:32:44,534
And it's not in the National Archives,
it's in my presidential library in Ohio.
534
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:48,538
So I just call the library and have
them fax the records to key people.
535
00:32:48,638 --> 00:32:50,039
No, you can't call.
536
00:32:50,206 --> 00:32:53,543
Somebody wants us dead, when they
find we're not, they'll look for us.
537
00:32:54,043 --> 00:32:56,045
They'll be tapping phones.
538
00:32:56,212 --> 00:32:58,047
Our home phones, office phones.....
539
00:32:58,548 --> 00:33:01,050
How'll we contact the library?
540
00:33:01,350 --> 00:33:04,053
it's a nice night to walk to Ohio.
541
00:33:04,654 --> 00:33:07,056
-We don't know what state we're in.
-Come on, Grandpa.
542
00:33:07,557 --> 00:33:08,558
What'd you say?
543
00:33:08,658 --> 00:33:10,560
You heard me.
544
00:33:10,726 --> 00:33:13,729
Try to keep up with me, buster.
545
00:33:20,970 --> 00:33:22,972
Joe Hollis?
546
00:33:23,239 --> 00:33:25,241
Thank you.
547
00:33:29,378 --> 00:33:31,380
Hello, Joe.
548
00:33:32,481 --> 00:33:35,585
What an unexpected and
blood-curdling surprise.
549
00:33:35,751 --> 00:33:38,588
Just know how to make a girl
get all gooey inside.
550
00:33:39,188 --> 00:33:41,591
-What've you heard about the scandal?
-Not a word.
551
00:33:41,991 --> 00:33:44,093
Excuse me, my salad's getting cold.
552
00:33:44,594 --> 00:33:47,096
Kramer's office cancelled
all of his appointments.
553
00:33:47,263 --> 00:33:48,097
He's disappeared.
554
00:33:48,598 --> 00:33:51,601
I have a tough time keeping track
of the Democrats--
555
00:33:51,701 --> 00:33:53,102
Douglas disappeared too.
556
00:33:53,269 --> 00:33:55,104
What a coincidence.
557
00:33:55,605 --> 00:33:59,108
If I hear so much as one word,
you'll be the first to know.
558
00:33:59,508 --> 00:34:01,611
Come on, what's going on here?
559
00:34:01,777 --> 00:34:05,781
Is it possible Kramer and Douglas
are in on this together?
560
00:34:07,016 --> 00:34:10,019
Over their dead bodies.
561
00:34:34,043 --> 00:34:36,045
How's it going?
562
00:34:49,959 --> 00:34:51,727
Are you them?
563
00:34:51,894 --> 00:34:53,229
Are you the real guys?
564
00:34:53,396 --> 00:34:54,730
Yeah, we are.
565
00:34:55,064 --> 00:34:56,732
Oh, man!
566
00:34:57,066 --> 00:34:58,734
I think you're awesome.
567
00:34:58,901 --> 00:35:00,236
No fair peeking.
568
00:35:00,670 --> 00:35:02,238
Sorry about that.
569
00:35:02,572 --> 00:35:04,240
I'm just kidding.
570
00:35:04,407 --> 00:35:09,412
I think you're doing a great job too.
571
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,282
It's an honor.
572
00:35:15,084 --> 00:35:16,752
No. I can't shake right now.
573
00:35:16,919 --> 00:35:18,921
I have to keep my hands
on the first penis.
574
00:35:21,924 --> 00:35:24,760
No problem.
575
00:35:25,294 --> 00:35:28,297
it's a pleasure to meet ya!
576
00:35:36,706 --> 00:35:38,274
The first...
577
00:35:38,441 --> 00:35:39,275
...penis?
578
00:35:39,609 --> 00:35:42,612
I think that's what I'll call it
from now on.
579
00:35:44,013 --> 00:35:46,015
What do you think, Blinky?
580
00:35:51,821 --> 00:35:52,788
What's the deal?
581
00:35:53,022 --> 00:35:54,790
Bobby didn't say anything
about presidents.
582
00:35:54,957 --> 00:35:56,292
Figured I was working alone.
583
00:35:56,459 --> 00:35:58,294
It don't matter none.
584
00:35:58,461 --> 00:35:59,795
What's your name?
585
00:36:00,029 --> 00:36:00,796
Matt Douglas.
586
00:36:01,030 --> 00:36:02,798
No, stupid. I know you're
supposed to look like.
587
00:36:03,032 --> 00:36:04,800
What are your real names?
588
00:36:04,967 --> 00:36:06,802
Tom and...
589
00:36:07,136 --> 00:36:09,138
This is Blinky.
590
00:36:09,839 --> 00:36:11,307
Tom and Blinky.
591
00:36:11,474 --> 00:36:12,308
I'm Francis.
592
00:36:12,542 --> 00:36:13,309
Let's get one thing straight.
593
00:36:13,743 --> 00:36:18,748
No sharing tips. it's every man
for himself until we get to Cleveland.
594
00:36:19,348 --> 00:36:21,350
Now let's rock and roll...
595
00:36:22,051 --> 00:36:22,818
We'll be right there.
596
00:36:23,352 --> 00:36:23,819
Cleveland?
597
00:36:24,353 --> 00:36:26,322
We're out of the woods, Blinky.
598
00:36:26,756 --> 00:36:28,724
You dirty son of a--
599
00:36:38,167 --> 00:36:40,169
Hey, everybody.
600
00:36:41,671 --> 00:36:44,674
Thank you very much.
601
00:36:49,512 --> 00:36:52,515
This is going to be fun.
602
00:37:00,022 --> 00:37:01,857
It's spooky.
He really looks like him.
603
00:37:02,191 --> 00:37:03,359
His nose is bigger.
604
00:37:03,526 --> 00:37:05,861
Have you ever met the real
President Kramer?
605
00:37:06,295 --> 00:37:09,365
Actually, I have. A great American.
606
00:37:09,699 --> 00:37:10,867
Give me a break.
607
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,369
"Our dreams are like children.
They need to be nurtured.
608
00:37:13,903 --> 00:37:14,871
"They need to be supported."
609
00:37:15,204 --> 00:37:16,873
"They need to eat vegetables."
610
00:37:17,373 --> 00:37:18,374
Prick.
611
00:37:19,408 --> 00:37:22,378
This is so weird. I shouldn't
tell you this, but two years ago...
612
00:37:22,812 --> 00:37:26,883
...I had a thing with the real Douglas,
at a Fourth of July do.
613
00:37:27,049 --> 00:37:28,885
And we did it.
614
00:37:29,051 --> 00:37:30,386
How about that.
615
00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:32,388
Stick a fork in him, he's done.
616
00:37:32,555 --> 00:37:34,390
He was a president.
He had his four years.
617
00:37:34,624 --> 00:37:36,392
We don't need
another crappy book.
618
00:37:36,726 --> 00:37:37,894
I thought he was a good president.
619
00:37:38,427 --> 00:37:41,397
All these old guys want to stay
in the game, but they don't have it.
620
00:37:41,564 --> 00:37:44,567
Lie down, you're dead
and you don't know it.
621
00:37:46,235 --> 00:37:46,903
Did you see that?
622
00:37:47,236 --> 00:37:47,904
A muscle spasm.
623
00:37:48,237 --> 00:37:51,240
I've been getting them lately.
I'm terribly sorry.
624
00:37:51,574 --> 00:37:52,408
There it goes again.
625
00:37:52,575 --> 00:37:54,911
It just seems that--
It's very embarrassing.
626
00:37:55,077 --> 00:37:56,412
I better take my medication.
627
00:37:56,946 --> 00:37:59,916
I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how was he? Any good?
628
00:38:00,149 --> 00:38:02,418
It was a lot like his presidency.
629
00:38:02,652 --> 00:38:06,656
There was a lot of talk leading
up to it, then he didn't do much.
630
00:38:08,090 --> 00:38:09,926
Excuse me.
631
00:38:10,092 --> 00:38:11,928
Douglas, this thing stops in Akron...
632
00:38:12,461 --> 00:38:14,931
...which isn't far from Cuyahoga Falls,
where my library is.
633
00:38:15,364 --> 00:38:16,933
What's it doing there?
Weren't you born in Cleveland?
634
00:38:17,266 --> 00:38:20,436
Yeah, but Cleveland wouldn't cut me
a decent deal on property taxes.
635
00:38:20,970 --> 00:38:22,438
Moving that house was a bitch.
636
00:38:22,972 --> 00:38:26,943
But the financial benefits
have been fantastic.
637
00:38:34,850 --> 00:38:37,853
I don't think we'll make it
to Akron
638
00:38:38,554 --> 00:38:42,058
Let's start at the front
and move back.
639
00:38:42,558 --> 00:38:46,562
Meet us at the next station.
That's where we'll pull them off.
640
00:39:31,007 --> 00:39:33,009
Oh, great.
641
00:39:33,276 --> 00:39:35,278
The end of the line.
642
00:39:46,289 --> 00:39:48,624
My God! How will we do this?
643
00:39:48,791 --> 00:39:50,626
Simple. Jump, tuck, and roll.
644
00:39:51,193 --> 00:39:54,630
It's all hay and grass out there.
It's the "amber waves of grain...'
645
00:39:54,797 --> 00:39:55,131
I can't.
646
00:39:55,531 --> 00:39:56,132
You can.
647
00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:58,134
-I can't!
-You can do it!
648
00:39:58,301 --> 00:39:59,635
-I can't
-Close your eyes.
649
00:39:59,802 --> 00:40:01,637
-We'll jump together.
-Don't give me that.
650
00:40:01,938 --> 00:40:03,639
-I can't do this!
-CIose them!
651
00:40:03,973 --> 00:40:04,640
Count!
652
00:40:04,774 --> 00:40:05,641
One!
653
00:40:06,142 --> 00:40:08,144
Two!
654
00:40:09,445 --> 00:40:11,447
God, that felt good.
655
00:40:13,316 --> 00:40:16,319
One, two, three.
656
00:40:37,740 --> 00:40:39,742
Jesus.
657
00:40:43,512 --> 00:40:45,514
Where are you?
658
00:40:46,015 --> 00:40:48,017
Damn it!
659
00:40:49,018 --> 00:40:51,087
Stop yelling, you dick.
660
00:40:51,254 --> 00:40:52,588
Where are you?
661
00:40:52,922 --> 00:40:54,924
I'm over here.
662
00:41:03,132 --> 00:41:04,600
Nice "amber waves."
663
00:41:04,767 --> 00:41:08,104
I got a chunk of
"purple mountain majesty" up my ass.
664
00:41:08,271 --> 00:41:09,105
Here.
665
00:41:09,438 --> 00:41:11,607
Just don't. Just don't help me.
666
00:41:11,774 --> 00:41:13,609
I don't need you helping me.
667
00:41:13,776 --> 00:41:15,111
That's fine by me.
668
00:41:15,278 --> 00:41:17,280
Let's go.
669
00:41:18,648 --> 00:41:20,650
Do you smell food?
670
00:41:34,797 --> 00:41:37,133
I'm out of money.
Lend me five bucks for a burger.
671
00:41:37,366 --> 00:41:39,635
-What kind of burger?
-The one with bacon.
672
00:41:39,802 --> 00:41:41,804
it's $1.99.
673
00:41:43,573 --> 00:41:46,142
You want $5 to buy
a $1.99 hamburger?
674
00:41:46,375 --> 00:41:49,378
And you wonder why
the Democrats are in trouble.
675
00:41:55,318 --> 00:41:57,320
We got company.
676
00:42:05,695 --> 00:42:09,165
Do you know who those two guys are?
They're presidents.
677
00:42:09,332 --> 00:42:11,167
Cool.
678
00:42:11,701 --> 00:42:14,704
Presidents of what?
679
00:42:16,339 --> 00:42:17,173
Cleveland, Ohio.
680
00:42:17,607 --> 00:42:18,674
I hope this works.
681
00:42:19,008 --> 00:42:20,176
We have no other choice.
682
00:42:20,710 --> 00:42:23,179
Hi. I'm Matt Douglas.
This is President Kramer.
683
00:42:23,512 --> 00:42:24,180
How do you do?
684
00:42:24,513 --> 00:42:27,183
I'm sure it's a bit overwhelming
for you to meet us like this.
685
00:42:27,717 --> 00:42:30,186
We're on a fact-finding mission for
the Interstate Commerce Commission.
686
00:42:30,353 --> 00:42:33,356
Headed for Ohio?
687
00:42:35,224 --> 00:42:38,194
We have to ride with you so
we can gain a personal perspective...
688
00:42:38,527 --> 00:42:41,197
...on the transportation capabilities
of our interstate system.
689
00:42:41,731 --> 00:42:44,700
Nobody rides for free.
Cost you 50 bucks.
690
00:42:44,867 --> 00:42:46,702
We don't have any cash.
691
00:42:47,236 --> 00:42:48,204
I'll take your watch.
692
00:42:48,437 --> 00:42:50,206
You must be joking.
693
00:42:50,373 --> 00:42:54,377
That's a Constellation.
It was given to me by Gorbachev.
694
00:43:03,753 --> 00:43:06,222
This really steams my clams.
695
00:43:06,389 --> 00:43:09,725
There are two watches like that
in the entire world.
696
00:43:09,959 --> 00:43:13,229
Reagan has one, and now Shamu,
the killer hick, has the other.
697
00:43:13,563 --> 00:43:16,232
Shut up. We don't want
to piss her off.
698
00:43:16,399 --> 00:43:17,733
These burritos, really great.
699
00:43:18,167 --> 00:43:20,736
Better you're eating them.
I'm dieting.
700
00:43:20,903 --> 00:43:22,738
Really? You don't need to.
701
00:43:23,072 --> 00:43:25,241
What's wrong with you?
I'm obese.
702
00:43:25,575 --> 00:43:26,742
I don't think you are.
703
00:43:26,976 --> 00:43:29,245
You must be one of those rare gals...
704
00:43:29,412 --> 00:43:32,748
...who look good carrying an extra
one-, two hundred pounds.
705
00:43:32,982 --> 00:43:35,751
What are you saying? I'm a fat pig.
706
00:43:35,918 --> 00:43:39,922
You Washington boys don't know
the truth when it bites you in the butt.
707
00:43:40,423 --> 00:43:43,459
Nice job not pissing her off.
708
00:43:45,027 --> 00:43:47,363
So, what are we hauling?
709
00:43:47,863 --> 00:43:50,867
Nothing exciting. Farm equipment.
710
00:43:57,540 --> 00:43:59,542
I must pull over.
711
00:44:01,777 --> 00:44:04,380
Not to worry anybody, but you
might want to make a run for it.
712
00:44:04,981 --> 00:44:06,983
What the hell...?
713
00:44:09,552 --> 00:44:11,387
Come on, come on, come on.
714
00:44:14,156 --> 00:44:14,891
Halt. Stop where you are.
715
00:44:15,558 --> 00:44:18,394
Immigration and Naturalization Service.
716
00:44:18,561 --> 00:44:20,563
What?
717
00:44:25,968 --> 00:44:28,404
Farm equipment! I knew that
damn broad was trouble.
718
00:44:28,738 --> 00:44:32,742
All I care is that chopper's not for us.
719
00:44:36,746 --> 00:44:38,414
That chopper's for us.
720
00:44:38,581 --> 00:44:39,415
This is INS One-One.
721
00:44:39,649 --> 00:44:43,419
You are interfering with an official
operation. Vacate the area.
722
00:44:43,586 --> 00:44:46,422
We are in the middle of a highly
classified NSA operation.
723
00:44:46,989 --> 00:44:48,424
You are ordered to leave the area.
724
00:44:48,858 --> 00:44:53,863
I will not abort my mission without
verification of your authority.
725
00:44:55,031 --> 00:44:58,034
Verification acknowledged.
Have a nice night.
726
00:45:00,836 --> 00:45:02,838
Se�ores...
727
00:45:03,105 --> 00:45:05,107
...down here!
728
00:45:24,527 --> 00:45:26,462
-What do you have?
-Nothing over here!
729
00:45:26,896 --> 00:45:29,899
Let's face it, Douglas.
We're dead.
730
00:45:30,132 --> 00:45:31,968
They not kill you, Se�or.
They send you back.
731
00:45:32,134 --> 00:45:33,970
You wait one month
then you try again.
732
00:45:34,070 --> 00:45:36,973
I try four times already.
I love this country.
733
00:45:37,073 --> 00:45:39,242
Do me a favor. Put "el socko" in it.
734
00:45:39,242 --> 00:45:41,277
Don't mind him. He's just cranky...
735
00:45:41,277 --> 00:45:44,213
...'cause he has a tiny penis.
736
00:45:44,580 --> 00:45:45,882
What's your name?
737
00:45:45,882 --> 00:45:50,920
Ernesto. What's yours?
738
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:51,487
Russell with the tiny penis?
739
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:52,622
Bingo.
740
00:45:52,822 --> 00:45:54,490
Are you talking about me?
741
00:45:54,657 --> 00:45:56,659
Are you cold?
742
00:45:57,293 --> 00:45:58,995
Here. Take this.
743
00:45:59,161 --> 00:46:01,497
-No, no, it's okay.
-Take it.
744
00:46:01,597 --> 00:46:04,600
I could be dead soon. I won't need it.
745
00:46:13,175 --> 00:46:15,011
Now you take this.
746
00:46:15,311 --> 00:46:17,013
-No, don't worry about it.
-Take it.
747
00:46:17,313 --> 00:46:19,015
You give to me now, I give to you.
748
00:46:19,115 --> 00:46:22,018
it's helped me get to my new home.
749
00:46:22,418 --> 00:46:25,421
Maybe this'll help you get
where you have to go.
750
00:46:26,656 --> 00:46:27,189
Thanks.
751
00:46:30,426 --> 00:46:32,428
Damn it.
752
00:46:33,529 --> 00:46:36,532
They're coming.
753
00:46:37,633 --> 00:46:39,535
-You're crazy.
-It is true!
754
00:46:39,835 --> 00:46:41,837
Everyone in this country has a gun.
755
00:46:48,644 --> 00:46:50,646
There he goes!
756
00:46:58,454 --> 00:47:00,056
My coat. They think he's me.
757
00:47:00,556 --> 00:47:03,559
He's not, so he'll be okay.
Let's get out of here.
758
00:47:03,726 --> 00:47:06,128
Oh, hey, by the way...
759
00:47:06,128 --> 00:47:09,999
I speak Spanish fluently...
760
00:47:41,430 --> 00:47:42,932
Let's talk.
761
00:47:43,099 --> 00:47:44,934
-Why?
-I'm bored.
762
00:47:45,101 --> 00:47:45,935
I have nothing to say.
763
00:47:46,435 --> 00:47:48,938
I have nothing to say to you
We can still talk
764
00:47:49,906 --> 00:47:53,342
My parents proved that conclusively.
765
00:47:53,609 --> 00:47:55,444
What do you miss most
about the office?
766
00:47:55,611 --> 00:47:58,614
I don't miss anything.
I don't live in the past.
767
00:48:00,349 --> 00:48:01,450
What about Rita?
768
00:48:01,617 --> 00:48:05,454
God, I do miss Rita. Greatest cook
the White House ever had.
769
00:48:05,621 --> 00:48:09,458
The only cook the White House ever had.
She started with Washington.
770
00:48:09,625 --> 00:48:12,962
When I couldn�t sleep, I'd go
downstairs and she'd make a dessert
771
00:48:13,262 --> 00:48:16,465
It was cream puff with
raspberry sauce and, I don't know.....
772
00:48:17,733 --> 00:48:17,967
Did you ever had one of her pizzas?
773
00:48:18,568 --> 00:48:21,571
It was like a wet dream
with a crust.
774
00:48:22,638 --> 00:48:24,473
A wet dream?
775
00:48:24,574 --> 00:48:27,977
I don't need to hear Russell Kramer
saying the words, "wet dream."
776
00:48:28,277 --> 00:48:29,979
I'll wake up screaming every night.
777
00:48:30,379 --> 00:48:32,481
-There's nothing wrong with wet dreams.
-Stop.
778
00:48:32,648 --> 00:48:33,983
I had a few as a kid.
779
00:48:34,150 --> 00:48:37,153
I'll look for the exhibit
in your library.
780
00:48:39,655 --> 00:48:41,490
Okay. I got one.
781
00:48:41,591 --> 00:48:45,494
When you were in the White House,
who were you most excited to meet?
782
00:48:45,995 --> 00:48:46,996
Nelson Mandela
783
00:48:47,163 --> 00:48:49,498
-I'm not a reporter.
-Ella Fitzgerald.
784
00:48:49,665 --> 00:48:52,501
Mandela was a great man,
but he couldn't sing.
785
00:48:52,668 --> 00:48:55,671
Joe DiMaggio. That was a thrill.
786
00:49:01,010 --> 00:49:03,012
What?
787
00:49:04,013 --> 00:49:06,015
Eighty million.
788
00:49:07,116 --> 00:49:12,121
That's how many people
voted against me last time out.
789
00:49:14,023 --> 00:49:15,524
That's how many people didn't...
790
00:49:16,092 --> 00:49:19,028
...trust me, didn't...
791
00:49:19,195 --> 00:49:21,030
...like me...
792
00:49:21,163 --> 00:49:22,531
...didn't.....
793
00:49:23,032 --> 00:49:25,034
Who knows?
794
00:49:29,539 --> 00:49:33,543
I stayed in bed for a week and a half
after they voted me out.
795
00:49:38,147 --> 00:49:41,050
Let's stop talking.
We're about to bond. I'll vomit
796
00:49:41,551 --> 00:49:42,552
Go to hell.
797
00:49:42,718 --> 00:49:44,720
Now that's better.
798
00:49:45,988 --> 00:49:47,990
What time you got?
799
00:49:48,691 --> 00:49:50,693
Screw you.
800
00:49:52,495 --> 00:49:54,497
Hold it, hold it.
801
00:49:54,897 --> 00:49:56,899
I think I hear people.
802
00:50:05,975 --> 00:50:10,246
Wayne, slow down. That bacon
doesn't have wings... it won't fly away.
803
00:50:10,413 --> 00:50:13,416
I want to get back on the road.
804
00:50:14,317 --> 00:50:16,752
Sweet Jesus.
805
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:18,754
Good morning.
806
00:50:18,988 --> 00:50:21,257
It's wonderful to see
an American family out...
807
00:50:21,657 --> 00:50:23,759
...enjoying the splendor of our land.
808
00:50:24,193 --> 00:50:25,261
President Kramer?
809
00:50:25,428 --> 00:50:28,264
Yes, ma'am.
I'm so pleased to meet you. Sit down.
810
00:50:28,598 --> 00:50:30,766
That's all. You can put it at ease.
811
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,270
I'm on a fact-finding mission from
the Department of the interior.
812
00:50:34,503 --> 00:50:38,774
Are the rest areas conveniently
located and well maintained?
813
00:50:39,342 --> 00:50:41,344
Oh, yes, sir.
814
00:50:41,944 --> 00:50:42,778
'Morning.
815
00:50:43,012 --> 00:50:44,280
President Douglas.
816
00:50:44,447 --> 00:50:47,283
it's been a delight speaking to you.
817
00:50:47,450 --> 00:50:49,785
Don't forget, these woods
are your heritage.
818
00:50:50,219 --> 00:50:51,787
Enjoy them and protect them.
819
00:50:52,221 --> 00:50:53,789
They deserve our respect.
820
00:50:53,956 --> 00:50:55,291
These trees are like our children.
821
00:50:55,725 --> 00:50:58,728
Get in the damn car!
822
00:51:10,973 --> 00:51:13,309
We're just south of Galax, Virginia.
823
00:51:14,710 --> 00:51:16,312
In a few miles we hit 77.
824
00:51:16,479 --> 00:51:19,315
That takes us directly into Ohio.
We're fine.
825
00:51:19,482 --> 00:51:20,816
Unless we run into trouble.
826
00:51:21,150 --> 00:51:24,153
Which I predict we won't.
827
00:51:38,501 --> 00:51:40,836
If you told us how important
the mission was...
828
00:51:41,070 --> 00:51:43,339
...we'd have loaned you
the car straight out.
829
00:51:43,906 --> 00:51:47,843
Again, we apologize, but those boys
from the Department of the Interior...
830
00:51:48,010 --> 00:51:49,345
...can be very secretive.
831
00:51:49,579 --> 00:51:52,848
We're just happy you're headed
for Cleveland.
832
00:51:53,082 --> 00:51:54,850
We're happy to do our part.
833
00:51:55,184 --> 00:51:57,353
Another out-of-state license plate.
834
00:51:57,687 --> 00:51:59,355
We're hoping to spot all 50 states.
835
00:51:59,789 --> 00:52:00,856
We're getting there.
836
00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:03,359
Can anyone make that one out?
837
00:52:03,526 --> 00:52:05,528
Looks like a "U."
838
00:52:06,195 --> 00:52:07,863
Utah!
839
00:52:08,097 --> 00:52:10,366
That's a U.S. government plate.
840
00:52:10,533 --> 00:52:13,536
Guy looks like a cop.
841
00:52:16,706 --> 00:52:18,774
Hey, good buddy!
God bless America!
842
00:52:18,774 --> 00:52:19,876
Hey, good buddy!
God bless America!
843
00:52:20,309 --> 00:52:22,378
Keep on trucking!
844
00:52:22,545 --> 00:52:24,547
Wave, Kevin!
845
00:52:25,815 --> 00:52:28,384
He wasn't too friendly now,
was he?
846
00:52:28,551 --> 00:52:31,554
Mom, the Presidents are squishing me!
847
00:52:32,054 --> 00:52:34,056
Isn't this fun?
848
00:52:48,638 --> 00:52:51,908
We're never getting to Ohio.
Not the way this guy drives.
849
00:52:52,074 --> 00:52:54,911
Every 500 feet they stop to take
another damn picture.
850
00:52:55,077 --> 00:52:56,412
The Donner Party moved faster.
851
00:52:56,746 --> 00:52:59,749
Shut up. I'm trying to sleep.
852
00:53:01,083 --> 00:53:04,420
Oh, my God he's squeezing
my breast again.
853
00:53:04,754 --> 00:53:06,923
This time, pretend not to enjoy it.
854
00:53:07,356 --> 00:53:10,359
Shut your cakehole, Douglas.
855
00:53:19,769 --> 00:53:24,440
We'd have been fine outside in the tent,
but thanks for sharing the beds.
856
00:53:24,607 --> 00:53:27,443
It means a lot.
857
00:53:27,610 --> 00:53:30,613
You know, we voted for you.
858
00:53:33,683 --> 00:53:35,952
I'm sorry about that, sir.
859
00:53:36,385 --> 00:53:37,453
We're Republicans.
860
00:53:37,787 --> 00:53:39,956
At least you can admit it.
861
00:53:40,189 --> 00:53:43,459
That's the first step
towards recovery.
862
00:53:44,060 --> 00:53:47,029
I'm hot.
863
00:53:57,473 --> 00:53:59,308
How much longer to Cleveland?
864
00:53:59,809 --> 00:54:02,812
I may have to call the department,
tell them when to expect us.
865
00:54:03,312 --> 00:54:05,314
About eight to ten hours.
866
00:54:05,481 --> 00:54:07,316
After we drop you off...
867
00:54:07,817 --> 00:54:10,820
...I might take the family up
to see Mount Rushmore.
868
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,322
One of America's greatest
natural wonders, son.
869
00:54:13,923 --> 00:54:16,325
Not really.
It's not a natural wonder
870
00:54:16,492 --> 00:54:19,829
A man by the name of
Gutzon Borglum carved it.
871
00:54:19,996 --> 00:54:21,998
Someone carved it?
872
00:54:22,832 --> 00:54:24,834
That ruins the whole thing.
873
00:54:26,502 --> 00:54:27,837
Diaper Patrol, Matt.
874
00:54:28,137 --> 00:54:30,339
We'll need those Pampers again.
875
00:54:30,506 --> 00:54:32,341
Oh, boy.....
876
00:54:32,508 --> 00:54:33,342
Is he healthy?
877
00:54:33,509 --> 00:54:35,344
Who's on Mount Rushmore?
878
00:54:35,945 --> 00:54:38,848
There's Abe Lincoln.
He chopped down the cherry tree.
879
00:54:39,015 --> 00:54:41,350
There's Franklin Theodore Roosevelt.
880
00:54:41,517 --> 00:54:44,353
He kilt him a bear
when he was only three.
881
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,856
You got to be kidding, right?
882
00:54:47,023 --> 00:54:50,359
Lincoln's mixed up with Washington.
Roosevelt, with Davy Crockett.
883
00:54:50,660 --> 00:54:53,362
Do you have any idea
what you're talking about?
884
00:54:53,663 --> 00:54:56,365
No disrespect, sir,
but you're in my car.
885
00:54:56,933 --> 00:54:57,867
You're in my country.
886
00:54:58,167 --> 00:54:59,869
Our country.
Get your facts straight.
887
00:55:00,269 --> 00:55:02,872
How do you expect your son
to respect history?
888
00:55:03,039 --> 00:55:05,374
That kind of ignorance is dangerous.
889
00:55:05,975 --> 00:55:09,879
-What about our nation right now?
-Wayne, don't.
890
00:55:10,046 --> 00:55:12,348
The country's falling apart.
People are losing their homes.
891
00:55:12,782 --> 00:55:14,850
They can't find work.
892
00:55:14,984 --> 00:55:17,853
You're talking about ignorance.
You're the ignorant ones. Both of ya.
893
00:55:18,020 --> 00:55:19,855
You've ignored
the voice of the people.
894
00:55:20,389 --> 00:55:21,357
The voice of the people.
895
00:55:21,891 --> 00:55:23,359
There is no such thing.
896
00:55:23,693 --> 00:55:26,862
You got 240 million voices
all yelling for something different.
897
00:55:27,029 --> 00:55:30,366
The only thing you all agree on
is you don't want higher taxes.
898
00:55:30,533 --> 00:55:32,535
The voice of the people.
My fanny.
899
00:55:33,903 --> 00:55:35,905
Pull over, Wayne.
900
00:55:41,544 --> 00:55:45,548
Kevin, run, throw this
in the trash for Mama, okay?
901
00:55:46,716 --> 00:55:49,719
There we go.
902
00:55:52,555 --> 00:55:54,557
Please get out of our car.
903
00:55:56,559 --> 00:55:59,562
Listen, I'm sorry.....
904
00:56:03,266 --> 00:56:03,599
We invited you into our home...
905
00:56:04,834 --> 00:56:06,402
...not our car.
906
00:56:06,736 --> 00:56:08,738
Our home.
907
00:56:10,540 --> 00:56:16,546
We lost our jobs because of
your budget cuts, President Kramer.
908
00:56:17,079 --> 00:56:19,081
And we lost our home...
909
00:56:19,615 --> 00:56:20,917
...because of your...
910
00:56:21,450 --> 00:56:22,919
...economic downturn...
911
00:56:23,252 --> 00:56:24,921
...President Douglas.
912
00:56:25,454 --> 00:56:28,424
All we have now
is the slim chance of a job...
913
00:56:28,624 --> 00:56:31,627
...at my uncle's factory in Cleveland.
914
00:56:32,261 --> 00:56:35,264
So I will ask you once again.....
915
00:56:35,565 --> 00:56:36,933
Please...
916
00:56:37,133 --> 00:56:40,136
...get out of our car.
917
00:56:57,220 --> 00:56:58,321
Joe, it's me.
918
00:56:58,621 --> 00:57:00,823
Where are you?
What's going on?
919
00:57:01,324 --> 00:57:01,824
I'm with Kramer.
920
00:57:02,091 --> 00:57:02,825
Are you kidding me?
921
00:57:03,326 --> 00:57:06,329
Haney had Charlie Reynolds killed,
now they're trying to kill us.
922
00:57:06,596 --> 00:57:07,330
What? Haney?
923
00:57:07,663 --> 00:57:10,333
I'm pretty sure.
He sent Marine One for us.
924
00:57:10,433 --> 00:57:11,834
We escaped before it blew up.
925
00:57:12,001 --> 00:57:12,835
My God.
926
00:57:12,935 --> 00:57:16,339
I didn't want to call anyone,
but you're the only person I trust.
927
00:57:16,505 --> 00:57:19,342
Listen, get in touch
with the CIA contacts.
928
00:57:19,442 --> 00:57:21,844
See if they can find out
what this is about.
929
00:57:22,345 --> 00:57:23,346
Keep out of sight.
930
00:57:23,846 --> 00:57:24,847
It's okay.
931
00:57:25,014 --> 00:57:30,019
I haven't seen any NSA today
so I'm guessing we lost them.
932
00:57:41,530 --> 00:57:43,366
They're moving north.
933
00:57:43,666 --> 00:57:45,368
What a coincidence
934
00:57:45,868 --> 00:57:47,870
So are we.
935
00:58:03,986 --> 00:58:06,989
Oh, baby.
936
00:58:10,893 --> 00:58:11,394
Excuse me.
937
00:58:11,894 --> 00:58:13,896
How much is that piece of pie?
938
00:58:14,063 --> 00:58:15,064
$1.50.
939
00:58:18,901 --> 00:58:20,403
Never mind.
940
00:58:20,803 --> 00:58:22,805
But thank you.
941
00:58:28,411 --> 00:58:29,412
Here you go.
942
00:58:29,579 --> 00:58:30,580
It's on the house.
943
00:58:31,314 --> 00:58:32,915
I'm sorry I couldn't do that.
944
00:58:33,082 --> 00:58:36,085
I said it was on the house, old man.
945
00:58:36,586 --> 00:58:39,589
Old man?!
946
00:58:50,433 --> 00:58:52,435
Old man.
947
00:58:54,737 --> 00:58:56,439
Okay, let's go.
948
00:58:56,606 --> 00:58:56,939
What's wrong?
949
00:58:57,540 --> 00:59:00,943
I just want to get out of here.
I'm calling my wife.
950
00:59:01,344 --> 00:59:02,945
I don't give a damn
if the phone is tapped.
951
00:59:03,246 --> 00:59:08,251
Do what you want, but when the NSA
shows up, we'll know who gave us away.
952
00:59:28,571 --> 00:59:30,573
Good morning.
953
00:59:31,641 --> 00:59:32,475
Oh, my!
954
00:59:32,975 --> 00:59:34,977
Oh, my! is this for real?
955
00:59:35,478 --> 00:59:36,479
Is this a joke or what?
956
00:59:36,779 --> 00:59:39,482
-No, it's really us.
-No! Get out of here!
957
00:59:39,782 --> 00:59:40,483
Get out!
958
00:59:40,650 --> 00:59:42,985
What's wrong? Oh, my God!
959
00:59:43,486 --> 00:59:45,488
-President Douglas!
-And President Kramer!
960
00:59:45,788 --> 00:59:48,491
On our shift!
961
00:59:48,791 --> 00:59:50,993
We'd like to rent a car.
962
00:59:51,093 --> 00:59:54,497
We only have two cars left
because of the livestock auction.
963
00:59:54,797 --> 00:59:56,799
Would you like a Hyundai or a Lexus?
964
01:00:00,169 --> 01:00:03,005
-Stupid' stupid, stupid.
-Oh, I'm sorry!
965
01:00:03,172 --> 01:00:04,507
Miss Airhead at your service.
966
01:00:04,674 --> 01:00:08,678
Now we'll need to see
some identification, please.
967
01:00:27,830 --> 01:00:28,531
Well?
968
01:00:28,698 --> 01:00:32,034
What? I haven't driven myself
since my first year in the House.
969
01:00:32,635 --> 01:00:35,638
Give me a second.
970
01:00:48,451 --> 01:00:51,454
There, like riding a bike.
971
01:01:07,904 --> 01:01:11,974
Will you stop whistling please?
I'm trying to sleep over here.
972
01:01:12,208 --> 01:01:14,477
Sleeping too much
is a sign of depression.
973
01:01:14,644 --> 01:01:17,480
Keep whistling and I'll put
a depression in your skull.
974
01:01:17,847 --> 01:01:20,483
We've. got eight hours
before we get to the library.
975
01:01:20,650 --> 01:01:21,484
I'm trying to stay alert.
976
01:01:21,851 --> 01:01:22,485
I hate that song.
977
01:01:23,052 --> 01:01:25,988
-So do I
-I made up words to the damn thing.
978
01:01:26,055 --> 01:01:30,493
I made up words to "Hail to the Chief."
I sing them to myself when I hear it.
979
01:01:30,726 --> 01:01:31,994
I made up words too.
980
01:01:32,361 --> 01:01:33,996
-Let me hear yours.
-You go first.
981
01:01:34,363 --> 01:01:37,366
No, you do yours,
then I'll sing mine.
982
01:01:39,235 --> 01:01:42,004
"Hail to the Chief, he's the chief
and he needs hailing.
983
01:01:42,572 --> 01:01:46,576
"He is the Chief, so everybody
hail like crazy."
984
01:01:47,176 --> 01:01:50,179
That's more or less how it...
985
01:01:51,247 --> 01:01:54,016
Let's hear your version, Gershwin.
986
01:01:54,250 --> 01:01:56,018
"No?" I sang mine.
987
01:01:56,385 --> 01:01:58,387
You're an idiot.
988
01:02:09,765 --> 01:02:13,035
CNN's set up near the park.
Maybe you should put this on.
989
01:02:13,202 --> 01:02:15,037
Not so fast, Carl.
Slow down.
990
01:02:15,204 --> 01:02:18,040
I don't like people running faster
than I do. It makes me look poky.
991
01:02:18,407 --> 01:02:19,041
Sorry.
992
01:02:19,208 --> 01:02:21,043
Lakers? I thought
we were sold in Los Angeles.
993
01:02:21,544 --> 01:02:23,546
You cut back on disaster relief.
994
01:02:23,713 --> 01:02:25,548
Too fast again.
995
01:02:25,748 --> 01:02:29,752
I don't want to wear this
I'm a Houston fan
996
01:02:30,319 --> 01:02:32,321
Hey, a hat.
997
01:02:35,324 --> 01:02:36,559
Kaye Griffin called today.
998
01:02:36,959 --> 01:02:39,562
She's ready to report that Douglas
and Kramer have disappeared...
999
01:02:40,062 --> 01:02:42,565
...and are working to expose a cover-up.
1000
01:02:42,832 --> 01:02:44,066
I'll look into it.
1001
01:02:44,233 --> 01:02:48,237
You better. I want those idiots
found before they dig any deeper.
1002
01:03:01,284 --> 01:03:02,685
What are you doing?
1003
01:03:02,952 --> 01:03:04,687
I needed a cup of coffee.
1004
01:03:05,021 --> 01:03:06,689
Good. Did you get me one?
1005
01:03:07,156 --> 01:03:08,691
You cheap bastard.
1006
01:03:08,958 --> 01:03:10,693
I only had 50 cents.
1007
01:03:10,860 --> 01:03:11,694
Give me a sip.
1008
01:03:11,861 --> 01:03:16,198
Yeah, I'm about to share coffee with
the Washington love machine. No dice.
1009
01:03:16,465 --> 01:03:19,202
You could spit in a petri dish
and start a whole civilization.
1010
01:03:19,368 --> 01:03:22,371
-Here, want to lick the lid?
-Screw, you.
1011
01:03:22,872 --> 01:03:25,875
Give me that.
1012
01:03:27,877 --> 01:03:29,212
Decaf, you pussy.
1013
01:03:29,545 --> 01:03:32,548
I must go find a john.
1014
01:03:49,398 --> 01:03:49,732
Agent Wilkerson.
1015
01:03:50,333 --> 01:03:52,735
We have a reason to believe
your life is in danger.
1016
01:03:53,002 --> 01:03:56,005
We must transfer you out of the area.
1017
01:03:57,406 --> 01:03:59,242
"Aye, Macarena!"
1018
01:03:59,742 --> 01:04:02,245
If you could just step out
of the car--
1019
01:04:02,578 --> 01:04:04,580
Jesus!
1020
01:04:11,087 --> 01:04:11,754
Hurry up!
1021
01:04:11,921 --> 01:04:12,755
Get in!
1022
01:04:13,022 --> 01:04:14,257
Did we get collision coverage?
1023
01:04:14,423 --> 01:04:16,425
-Why?
-Nothing.
1024
01:04:19,228 --> 01:04:21,230
-Look out!
-Hold on!
1025
01:04:42,118 --> 01:04:43,286
Get it out.
1026
01:04:43,452 --> 01:04:44,787
I'm trying.
1027
01:04:44,954 --> 01:04:47,957
I can't see! Get it out!
1028
01:05:01,037 --> 01:05:02,038
Go!
1029
01:05:13,649 --> 01:05:16,652
-Nice going, Mario.
-Shut up.
1030
01:05:20,489 --> 01:05:21,490
That way!
1031
01:05:24,727 --> 01:05:27,730
Oh, not good.
1032
01:05:29,732 --> 01:05:31,734
Come on, let's go.
1033
01:05:36,906 --> 01:05:39,909
-Now what?
-Just blend in
1034
01:05:49,752 --> 01:05:50,586
How are you?
1035
01:05:50,987 --> 01:05:51,587
President Kramer?
1036
01:05:52,088 --> 01:05:54,090
President Douglas?
1037
01:05:54,257 --> 01:05:55,091
This is amazing.
1038
01:05:55,591 --> 01:05:58,594
We march in these all the time
1039
01:06:22,718 --> 01:06:23,619
My Lord and Taylor!
1040
01:06:25,021 --> 01:06:25,121
What are you doing?
1041
01:06:25,321 --> 01:06:26,122
Are you coming out?
1042
01:06:26,622 --> 01:06:28,624
No, no. I've always
supported gay rights.
1043
01:06:28,991 --> 01:06:31,994
I'm not coming out. He is.
1044
01:06:34,063 --> 01:06:35,131
Closet case. Sad
1045
01:06:36,332 --> 01:06:37,500
You talking about me?
1046
01:06:39,502 --> 01:06:40,169
Don't hide who you really are.
Be brave Here.
1047
01:06:40,169 --> 01:06:42,638
Don't hide who you really are.
Be brave. Here
1048
01:06:43,005 --> 01:06:44,640
it's a freedom-ring necklace.
1049
01:06:44,807 --> 01:06:46,809
Wear it with pride.
1050
01:06:48,010 --> 01:06:50,012
Come here
1051
01:06:51,314 --> 01:06:52,148
What's wrong?
1052
01:06:52,381 --> 01:06:53,649
I don't think you can help.
1053
01:06:53,883 --> 01:06:57,887
Unless you and your ruby slippers
can get us to Cuyahoga Falls.
1054
01:06:58,321 --> 01:07:01,324
I have some friends who might help.
1055
01:07:33,556 --> 01:07:37,727
After that bike ride, I'm changing
my position on an important issue.
1056
01:07:37,894 --> 01:07:41,731
I think the military can definitely
use some of those gals.
1057
01:07:41,898 --> 01:07:44,734
Now is this impressive or what?
1058
01:07:44,867 --> 01:07:47,236
Research room is down that way.
1059
01:07:47,403 --> 01:07:50,406
Wait a minute.
1060
01:07:51,874 --> 01:07:54,877
Oh, my. Oh, my.
1061
01:07:55,778 --> 01:07:58,781
How about this?
1062
01:08:02,919 --> 01:08:05,254
Oh, you got to be kidding.
1063
01:08:05,588 --> 01:08:09,258
Our dreams are like our children.
1064
01:08:09,592 --> 01:08:13,262
Don't you fall into the trap.
Democrats are full of crap.
1065
01:08:13,396 --> 01:08:16,265
Anything you really like,
I can get it for you at cost.
1066
01:08:16,432 --> 01:08:18,768
I feel dirty.
1067
01:08:18,935 --> 01:08:20,269
Have you found it yet?
1068
01:08:20,469 --> 01:08:22,772
Working on it.
You never got this.
1069
01:08:23,105 --> 01:08:24,774
I was Time's Man of the Year.
1070
01:08:25,107 --> 01:08:25,775
So was Hitler.
1071
01:08:26,108 --> 01:08:28,110
Not twice.
1072
01:08:29,111 --> 01:08:30,279
Here it is.
1073
01:08:30,479 --> 01:08:33,282
"Chef's log: October 14th,
lunch, Oval Office...
1074
01:08:33,416 --> 01:08:35,284
"...President Kramer
and Charles Reynolds.
1075
01:08:35,818 --> 01:08:40,823
"Ham-and-cheese omelettes.
$6.95 each." What...?
1076
01:08:43,125 --> 01:08:44,794
Where's Haney?
1077
01:08:45,127 --> 01:08:47,129
He isn't here.
1078
01:08:48,631 --> 01:08:52,635
They must've fixed this book too.
They knew we were coming.
1079
01:08:53,202 --> 01:08:54,303
Where's your gun?
1080
01:08:54,470 --> 01:08:55,304
I have it.
1081
01:08:55,705 --> 01:08:57,707
In my coat.
1082
01:08:58,941 --> 01:09:00,943
Get that light.
1083
01:09:21,530 --> 01:09:23,366
Great job, Douglas. Oh, God, it's Ben.
1084
01:09:24,967 --> 01:09:25,835
Hurry up with the ice.
1085
01:09:26,369 --> 01:09:28,838
Excuse me! I don't know my way
... around Kramer World.
1086
01:09:29,238 --> 01:09:32,341
Lucky for you we came along
when we did. You were in a bad way.
1087
01:09:32,742 --> 01:09:36,345
I can't say I recall that ever
happening before...
1088
01:09:36,512 --> 01:09:40,349
...a book just falling off
a shelf like that.
1089
01:09:40,683 --> 01:09:44,353
Is there any way someone
could have broken in here?
1090
01:09:44,554 --> 01:09:46,355
No, sir. Not on my shift.
1091
01:09:46,756 --> 01:09:50,359
I just remembered. A young lady
gave me an envelope for you.
1092
01:09:50,893 --> 01:09:51,861
Told me to be sure you got it.
1093
01:09:52,194 --> 01:09:56,198
She said she was a friend
from Washington.
1094
01:09:56,532 --> 01:09:57,867
What is this?
1095
01:09:58,000 --> 01:10:01,370
"Dear Mr. President:
My name is Kathleen Taylor.
1096
01:10:01,537 --> 01:10:05,374
"I'm Charles Reynolds' secretary.
1097
01:10:05,708 --> 01:10:08,878
"Mr. Reynolds has disappeared.
I don't know who to turn to.
1098
01:10:09,011 --> 01:10:12,882
"The last people he spoke with
were you, President Douglas...
1099
01:10:13,015 --> 01:10:15,384
...and Carl Witnaur."
1100
01:10:15,518 --> 01:10:17,887
Haney's chief of staff.
That son of a bitch.
1101
01:10:18,221 --> 01:10:20,389
He lives outside of D.C.
in Chevy Chase.
1102
01:10:20,790 --> 01:10:22,892
I was there recently for a dinner.
1103
01:10:23,092 --> 01:10:25,895
My God, did he put on a spread!
Those little chicken livers wrapped...
1104
01:10:26,229 --> 01:10:30,399
...with bacon on tooth picks--
And the dip for the broccoli.....
1105
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:31,901
Could you focus, please!
1106
01:10:32,435 --> 01:10:34,403
I'm sorry. Look, if we left.....
1107
01:10:34,937 --> 01:10:37,907
If we left now, we could
get there by early morning.
1108
01:10:38,074 --> 01:10:39,909
We need to borrow your car, okay?
1109
01:10:40,309 --> 01:10:41,410
Do I have a choice?
1110
01:10:41,611 --> 01:10:43,613
Then it's okay.
1111
01:11:11,173 --> 01:11:12,174
Honey, you're hurting me.
1112
01:11:12,508 --> 01:11:13,676
Better her than me, Carl.
1113
01:11:14,176 --> 01:11:18,180
This is Douglas. I'm with Kramer
and a gun's pressed to your head.
1114
01:11:18,347 --> 01:11:21,350
Well, I'm assuming that's your head.
1115
01:11:24,820 --> 01:11:26,689
This is unbelievable.
1116
01:11:26,822 --> 01:11:27,690
How dare you?
1117
01:11:28,124 --> 01:11:30,192
Witnaur, we'll ask this just once.
1118
01:11:30,493 --> 01:11:32,695
What is Olympia and who is behind it?
1119
01:11:33,129 --> 01:11:35,131
I don't know what you talking about.
1120
01:11:52,215 --> 01:11:53,216
I'm glad to see you.
1121
01:11:53,516 --> 01:11:59,222
it's good to see you too, Joe.
We could use a little help out here.
1122
01:11:59,522 --> 01:12:00,723
Wait a minute.
1123
01:12:01,157 --> 01:12:06,162
Is that President Kramer holding
a gun on a naked guy in a blindfold?
1124
01:12:08,064 --> 01:12:11,067
Come on in.
1125
01:12:13,903 --> 01:12:16,739
Carl, my ClA buddies were clueless
about what you're up to...
1126
01:12:17,073 --> 01:12:19,242
...but they gave me something for this.
1127
01:12:19,742 --> 01:12:20,743
So, my boy...
1128
01:12:20,977 --> 01:12:23,746
...hope this goes well,
it's all new to me.
1129
01:12:24,046 --> 01:12:27,750
I'm not even sure
about the dosage but...
1130
01:12:27,984 --> 01:12:29,752
...what do you say we wing it?
1131
01:12:30,052 --> 01:12:31,754
You don't scare me.
1132
01:12:32,054 --> 01:12:32,755
I'm not trying to.
1133
01:12:33,189 --> 01:12:34,257
We don't want to see this.
1134
01:12:34,490 --> 01:12:36,492
Right. Enjoy the ride.
1135
01:12:50,106 --> 01:12:51,274
Damn vein.
1136
01:12:51,440 --> 01:12:53,276
it's wanting to jump around.
1137
01:12:53,409 --> 01:12:55,278
There it is, you bugger.
1138
01:12:55,578 --> 01:12:57,280
There it is.
1139
01:12:57,413 --> 01:12:58,781
I'll talk.
1140
01:12:59,282 --> 01:13:02,285
I'll talk... I like to talk.
1141
01:13:03,586 --> 01:13:05,588
it's amazing.
1142
01:13:05,922 --> 01:13:09,792
Haney needed to spin-dry the kickback
money. That's how Olympia came in.
1143
01:13:10,293 --> 01:13:11,794
It was a front company.
1144
01:13:12,295 --> 01:13:14,297
I never ordered anyone to kill you.
1145
01:13:14,730 --> 01:13:17,733
But you ordered the cover-up.
1146
01:13:17,934 --> 01:13:21,304
The appointment log
at the National Archives...
1147
01:13:21,537 --> 01:13:24,307
...the book in your library.....
1148
01:13:24,740 --> 01:13:26,309
All that was done at my request.
1149
01:13:26,542 --> 01:13:27,810
What about Charlie Reynolds?
1150
01:13:28,244 --> 01:13:29,312
Were you in charge to take care of him?
1151
01:13:29,445 --> 01:13:32,448
No, I never ordered anyone to kill him.
1152
01:13:35,251 --> 01:13:37,253
Who said he was dead?
1153
01:13:37,620 --> 01:13:39,322
Look, Tanner.
1154
01:13:39,555 --> 01:13:42,325
I'm telling you, it was Tanner.
This guy is out of control.
1155
01:13:42,491 --> 01:13:43,826
That's a lot of bull!
1156
01:13:44,260 --> 01:13:47,330
You're saying a rogue agent
turned hitman in your ranks?
1157
01:13:47,830 --> 01:13:49,332
I don't believe it.
1158
01:13:49,832 --> 01:13:52,335
You had Tanner put us on that chopper
and you pushed the button!
1159
01:13:52,835 --> 01:13:54,837
Chopper?
1160
01:13:55,271 --> 01:13:57,206
What chopper?
1161
01:14:00,910 --> 01:14:04,747
Looks like Tanner's been getting
his orders from Haney.
1162
01:14:05,181 --> 01:14:07,250
-What do we do?
-You got a few options.
1163
01:14:07,416 --> 01:14:10,753
You can go to the White House
and tell Haney what you know.
1164
01:14:10,820 --> 01:14:14,257
To get to him you must go
through Tanner, who'll kill you.
1165
01:14:14,624 --> 01:14:18,261
-What's the other one?
-You got a confession on tape.
1166
01:14:18,327 --> 01:14:19,762
Go to the press.
1167
01:14:20,129 --> 01:14:25,134
I'll call Kaye and by noon Washington
will be up to its knees in Olympia.
1168
01:14:26,936 --> 01:14:28,938
Call her?
1169
01:14:31,140 --> 01:14:34,143
You're doing the smart thing.
1170
01:14:35,011 --> 01:14:36,279
Damn!
1171
01:14:36,646 --> 01:14:37,280
Damn!
1172
01:14:37,647 --> 01:14:38,281
What?
1173
01:14:38,447 --> 01:14:42,285
If we go public,
there'll be another cover-up.
1174
01:14:42,518 --> 01:14:45,788
Witnaur might pay a price but
the big fish's going to get away.
1175
01:14:46,222 --> 01:14:48,291
Are we willing to let that happen?
1176
01:14:48,357 --> 01:14:50,359
We've done enough already.
1177
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,296
No, I made a career of doing enough.
1178
01:14:53,863 --> 01:14:56,299
I always did just enough
not to piss anybody off...
1179
01:14:56,732 --> 01:14:58,301
...'cause a pissed-off person
won't vote for you.
1180
01:14:58,734 --> 01:15:00,303
it's a part of the game.
1181
01:15:00,670 --> 01:15:03,806
Tell that to Wayne and Jenny
and their kids living in their car.
1182
01:15:04,173 --> 01:15:05,808
"I'm sorry things are tough.
1183
01:15:06,042 --> 01:15:08,811
"I've been playing the game."
I can't play it anymore.
1184
01:15:08,911 --> 01:15:11,314
-I'm going to see Haney.
-Hold on, Rambo.
1185
01:15:11,480 --> 01:15:13,816
Joe said you can't get past Tanner.
1186
01:15:13,883 --> 01:15:14,817
I don't care. I'm going.
1187
01:15:15,051 --> 01:15:17,053
You're a damn fool.
1188
01:15:21,490 --> 01:15:23,492
You're probably right.
1189
01:15:23,993 --> 01:15:28,331
But you know something, somewhere
out there there's another fool.
1190
01:15:28,764 --> 01:15:33,769
Some idealist sucker
who still believes in us.
1191
01:15:34,570 --> 01:15:39,342
After all the scandals and
the party politics and all the bull...
1192
01:15:39,508 --> 01:15:43,846
...someone out there believes we care
and will do what we promise.
1193
01:15:44,080 --> 01:15:47,350
And that's what I'm doing now.
I'm doing what I promised.
1194
01:15:47,783 --> 01:15:49,852
Preserve, protect and defend.
1195
01:15:50,086 --> 01:15:51,354
Because if we lose that...
1196
01:15:51,921 --> 01:15:56,359
...idealistic, gloriously
deluded fool out there, hey...
1197
01:15:56,525 --> 01:15:58,527
...it's all over.
1198
01:16:00,096 --> 01:16:02,865
Thank God you never spoke
like this during our debates.
1199
01:16:03,299 --> 01:16:06,302
My margin of loss
would've been staggering.
1200
01:16:09,038 --> 01:16:10,039
All right.
1201
01:16:10,740 --> 01:16:11,874
Let's do it.
1202
01:16:12,241 --> 01:16:12,875
You sure?
1203
01:16:13,109 --> 01:16:17,880
If I can ride 300 miles at top speed
holding onto a lesbian's midsection...
1204
01:16:17,947 --> 01:16:18,881
...I can handle Tanner.
1205
01:16:19,248 --> 01:16:21,384
If we do get to Haney.
1206
01:16:21,751 --> 01:16:23,386
...how do we know he'll cooperate?
1207
01:16:23,619 --> 01:16:27,390
I'm bringing Witnaur with us.
Learn from the master.
1208
01:16:27,757 --> 01:16:28,758
Gentlemen...
1209
01:16:29,125 --> 01:16:30,893
...Kaye's on her way over.
1210
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:35,932
Change of plans. Mr. Kramer and
Mr. Douglas are going to Washington.
1211
01:16:44,941 --> 01:16:48,945
Kramer and Douglas broke into
Witnaur's house and kidnapped him.
1212
01:16:49,145 --> 01:16:50,513
We're just now hearing about it?
1213
01:16:50,947 --> 01:16:53,015
His lady called the White House.
1214
01:16:53,149 --> 01:16:54,517
-They thought it was a prank.
-Enough.
1215
01:16:55,017 --> 01:16:58,521
We better button up the White House.
If they get to the president...
1216
01:16:58,654 --> 01:17:00,656
...the game's over.
1217
01:17:11,968 --> 01:17:12,535
'Morning, Rita.
1218
01:17:13,035 --> 01:17:13,536
How're you?
1219
01:17:14,036 --> 01:17:17,039
I'd be doing better if I had
your blueberry muffins.
1220
01:17:17,206 --> 01:17:21,043
Soon as I tend to the president,
I'll see what I can do.
1221
01:17:21,210 --> 01:17:22,044
What's back there?
1222
01:17:22,478 --> 01:17:26,048
Picked up a lot of fresh produce
at the farmer's market.
1223
01:17:26,482 --> 01:17:28,484
Have a pick if you like.
1224
01:17:29,485 --> 01:17:32,054
That's okay, Rita.
You have a good one.
1225
01:17:32,221 --> 01:17:32,688
Thanks.
1226
01:17:40,296 --> 01:17:42,064
"Have a pick if you like"?
1227
01:17:42,365 --> 01:17:45,067
-You're lucky I didn't have a stroke.
-Wasn't that little risky?
1228
01:17:47,003 --> 01:17:47,069
Mr. Presidents, please hush up.
1229
01:17:47,303 --> 01:17:50,306
If you're in my car, you're produce.
1230
01:17:53,309 --> 01:17:55,077
Mr. President...
1231
01:17:55,311 --> 01:17:57,313
...we're ready' sir.
1232
01:17:58,214 --> 01:18:02,084
The ceremony honoring the Dutch
resistance during World War II?
1233
01:18:02,385 --> 01:18:06,589
Highlight of my day. Who cares
about the damn Dutch anyway?
1234
01:18:06,722 --> 01:18:09,091
Vice President Mathews is going?
1235
01:18:09,225 --> 01:18:11,594
Let's avoid a possible
embarrassment, okay?
1236
01:18:11,827 --> 01:18:16,599
Remind him these people are from
the Netherlands, not nether regions.
1237
01:18:16,899 --> 01:18:18,601
Oh, and...
1238
01:18:18,834 --> 01:18:20,102
...have we heard from Witnaur?
1239
01:18:20,536 --> 01:18:21,604
No, Mr. President.
1240
01:18:21,904 --> 01:18:23,906
Thank you.
1241
01:18:26,609 --> 01:18:28,611
Gather around everyone.
The tour's about to begin.
1242
01:18:28,844 --> 01:18:29,612
Come on in.
1243
01:18:30,046 --> 01:18:31,113
Come in, you in the back.
1244
01:18:31,614 --> 01:18:33,115
We can't go that way.
1245
01:18:33,549 --> 01:18:35,618
A million people come to
the White House every year.
1246
01:18:36,118 --> 01:18:39,622
Better smile, they'll know
we're here in ten seconds.
1247
01:18:40,122 --> 01:18:42,124
Come on.
1248
01:18:43,259 --> 01:18:45,127
Are you ready for the tour?
1249
01:18:45,261 --> 01:18:47,630
-What are you doing?!
-It's the only way we'll get to Haney.
1250
01:18:48,064 --> 01:18:49,131
Mr. President...
1251
01:18:49,265 --> 01:18:50,633
...and Mr. President.
1252
01:18:50,800 --> 01:18:53,636
The tour guides are the hardest
working people in the White House.
1253
01:18:53,970 --> 01:18:55,638
As a way of saying "Thank you"...
1254
01:18:55,805 --> 01:18:58,641
...President Kramer and I
lead your tour ourselves.
1255
01:18:58,808 --> 01:18:59,642
We'll what?
1256
01:19:00,076 --> 01:19:01,644
You get the Oval Office.....
1257
01:19:06,082 --> 01:19:06,148
Who knows this place better than us?
1258
01:19:06,315 --> 01:19:08,317
Let's go. Gather around.
1259
01:19:08,818 --> 01:19:10,653
Follow your presidents.
1260
01:19:11,087 --> 01:19:15,091
Come along.
This is going to be fun for you.
1261
01:19:20,162 --> 01:19:21,664
...they're in.
1262
01:19:21,831 --> 01:19:23,165
-How?
-They used the tour.
1263
01:19:23,466 --> 01:19:24,667
This is the Green Room.
1264
01:19:24,901 --> 01:19:25,668
-It's a room
-it's green.
1265
01:19:26,102 --> 01:19:26,669
Hence the name.
1266
01:19:26,903 --> 01:19:27,670
-Any questions?
-Not me.
1267
01:19:28,104 --> 01:19:29,672
Okay, shall we?
1268
01:19:30,172 --> 01:19:31,173
That's it?
1269
01:19:31,307 --> 01:19:32,675
Go, go, go.
1270
01:19:32,808 --> 01:19:34,677
We grab them as soon as we can.
1271
01:19:34,911 --> 01:19:36,679
Lots of people have seen them.
1272
01:19:36,913 --> 01:19:39,682
They met here to take the chopper
to the ceremonies...
1273
01:19:40,016 --> 01:19:43,019
...where the president
was to meet them later.
1274
01:19:45,354 --> 01:19:49,191
The crash site is still secure
We just adjust the time of the crash.
1275
01:19:49,492 --> 01:19:50,192
It could work.
1276
01:19:50,426 --> 01:19:53,429
I'll stay near Hayne.
As soon as you get them, call me.
1277
01:19:55,197 --> 01:19:57,700
Occasionally we. use this
as a shortcut to the Oval Office.
1278
01:19:57,833 --> 01:20:02,838
Let's pick up the pace.
The older folks are dragging us down.
1279
01:20:07,810 --> 01:20:10,379
There's no way they can
get out of the building.
1280
01:20:10,613 --> 01:20:12,882
We've sealed off the West Wing.
1281
01:20:13,316 --> 01:20:15,318
Guest quarters.
1282
01:20:26,329 --> 01:20:27,396
Unlock the door.
1283
01:20:27,563 --> 01:20:27,897
Come on.
1284
01:20:28,397 --> 01:20:29,899
That desk belonged to Jefferson.
1285
01:20:30,132 --> 01:20:32,902
The Declaration of Independence
could have been written on it.
1286
01:20:33,035 --> 01:20:35,905
Tom isn't here to help me
pick it up, so move your ass!
1287
01:20:36,339 --> 01:20:38,407
Mr. Presidents, please!
1288
01:20:38,641 --> 01:20:41,911
When we think of the Netherlands,
no doubt we have images of...
1289
01:20:42,345 --> 01:20:45,915
...a tranquil land dotted
with picturesque windmills.
1290
01:20:46,349 --> 01:20:49,919
Good. Secure the room,
but do not move in until I get there.
1291
01:20:50,353 --> 01:20:53,356
And Wilkerson, call the press.
1292
01:20:57,360 --> 01:20:59,929
I found Haney. He's on the South Lawn.
1293
01:21:00,363 --> 01:21:01,430
I don't like this.
1294
01:21:01,998 --> 01:21:05,434
They've pinned us here for 15 minutes.
What're they doing?
1295
01:21:05,601 --> 01:21:07,603
Preparing for our funeral.
1296
01:21:08,070 --> 01:21:10,439
The report just came in
from the White House.
1297
01:21:10,706 --> 01:21:14,443
The helicopter went down
over the Blue Ridge mountains.
1298
01:21:14,610 --> 01:21:17,947
President Kramer and President Douglas
were reportedly on board.
1299
01:21:18,214 --> 01:21:21,217
Search teams are speeding to the area.
1300
01:21:28,391 --> 01:21:31,394
Phone's dead.
1301
01:21:31,794 --> 01:21:32,962
What are you doing?
1302
01:21:33,229 --> 01:21:37,967
During my years here, a butler told me
about a secret door in this room
1303
01:21:38,134 --> 01:21:42,972
The "Kennedy Door" he called it.
I think it was just a story.
1304
01:21:43,239 --> 01:21:45,241
It's here
1305
01:21:45,808 --> 01:21:47,810
I almost forgot.
1306
01:21:52,748 --> 01:21:53,983
What are you looking at?
1307
01:21:54,450 --> 01:21:57,987
You been down to the farmer's
market lately? it's brutal.
1308
01:21:58,554 --> 01:22:01,991
I used this thing for a couple of
midnight rendezvous.
1309
01:22:02,325 --> 01:22:03,993
I'll never forget this one girl--
1310
01:22:04,427 --> 01:22:05,995
She was a stewardess.
1311
01:22:06,262 --> 01:22:06,996
I don't need to know.
1312
01:22:07,563 --> 01:22:08,998
She was also a contortionist.
1313
01:22:09,432 --> 01:22:09,999
Go on.
1314
01:22:10,266 --> 01:22:11,500
She-- Later.
1315
01:22:11,767 --> 01:22:14,770
Right now, we must
get to that ceremony.
1316
01:22:16,572 --> 01:22:20,009
If we can get ourselves seen
on TV everyone will know...
1317
01:22:20,142 --> 01:22:22,011
...we're not dead in the mountains...
1318
01:22:22,578 --> 01:22:25,581
...and tanner is out of business.
1319
01:22:26,682 --> 01:22:28,684
Break it.
1320
01:22:39,195 --> 01:22:41,197
Where the hell are they?
1321
01:22:42,798 --> 01:22:43,532
Hurry up.
1322
01:22:44,100 --> 01:22:50,106
Be glad I'm not Gerry Ford. We would
be lying at the bottom of the stairs.
1323
01:22:52,308 --> 01:22:56,045
It's been a while, but I think
the way out is down to the left.
1324
01:22:56,212 --> 01:22:58,548
God, this whole thing is crazy.
1325
01:22:58,681 --> 01:23:02,552
I can't figure how a twisted psycho
like Tanner end up in the NSA.
1326
01:23:03,119 --> 01:23:07,123
I know. Why isn't he
in the postal service where he belongs?
1327
01:23:08,324 --> 01:23:09,058
Great.
1328
01:23:09,225 --> 01:23:10,560
"down and to the left."
1329
01:23:10,893 --> 01:23:14,564
Oh, cork it.
It's not the end of the world.
1330
01:23:14,697 --> 01:23:16,065
Hello, sirs.
1331
01:23:16,499 --> 01:23:20,503
No need for concern
it's only me, the twisted psycho.
1332
01:23:20,903 --> 01:23:22,572
We won't have a long chat.
1333
01:23:22,905 --> 01:23:26,576
I don't think I can stand to listen
to you for another second.
1334
01:23:26,742 --> 01:23:27,577
I'll just kill you.
1335
01:23:29,011 --> 01:23:30,580
Who goes first?
1336
01:23:31,147 --> 01:23:34,150
The old man, or the ladies' man?
1337
01:23:39,255 --> 01:23:40,590
Nice work, Russell.
1338
01:23:41,023 --> 01:23:43,025
Thank you.
1339
01:23:43,859 --> 01:23:46,929
I must change my shorts now.
1340
01:23:53,436 --> 01:23:56,439
Pennsylvania Avenue's almost clear.
1341
01:23:59,442 --> 01:24:00,776
Here we are.
1342
01:24:00,943 --> 01:24:03,779
Watch it, watch it.
1343
01:24:04,013 --> 01:24:07,283
It's the North Lawn. We're on
the other side of where we want to be.
1344
01:24:07,450 --> 01:24:08,284
Good going.
1345
01:24:08,718 --> 01:24:11,721
I didn't build the damn tunnel
1346
01:24:13,956 --> 01:24:15,791
-Now what?
-Who am I, fucking MacGyver?
1347
01:24:16,225 --> 01:24:17,793
I make this up as I go along.
1348
01:24:18,361 --> 01:24:20,363
Over there!
1349
01:24:24,867 --> 01:24:27,870
Hang on!
1350
01:24:30,139 --> 01:24:30,806
Hold it! Stop right there!
1351
01:24:31,374 --> 01:24:34,310
Get off the horse!
1352
01:24:34,744 --> 01:24:36,812
We can't get cars through the block.
1353
01:24:37,046 --> 01:24:40,049
Run after them, I'll cut them off.
1354
01:24:46,489 --> 01:24:51,494
When this is over, let's come back
and look for my balls.
1355
01:24:53,996 --> 01:24:55,998
Mr. Presidents, stop!
1356
01:24:58,167 --> 01:25:01,837
Marksmen, intruders, North Lawn.
This is Tanner going to intercept.
1357
01:25:02,271 --> 01:25:03,339
Shoot to kill!
1358
01:25:03,573 --> 01:25:06,576
We're moving into position now.
1359
01:25:17,186 --> 01:25:18,854
Wait, hold your fire.
1360
01:25:19,422 --> 01:25:20,856
That's Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
1361
01:25:21,023 --> 01:25:21,857
That's impossible!
1362
01:25:22,091 --> 01:25:23,359
The presidents are dead!
1363
01:25:23,793 --> 01:25:25,795
Shoot them!
1364
01:25:27,530 --> 01:25:30,366
Repositioning to the south.
1365
01:25:30,533 --> 01:25:35,538
These people, bound by love of country,
risked their lives
1366
01:25:36,038 --> 01:25:38,040
Open the gate!
1367
01:25:41,444 --> 01:25:42,378
Nice horsey.
1368
01:25:42,845 --> 01:25:44,881
Oh, God!
1369
01:25:45,481 --> 01:25:47,483
On your command, sir.
1370
01:25:53,289 --> 01:25:54,557
I gave you a direct order! Shoot!
1371
01:25:55,391 --> 01:25:56,726
Lieutenant Fleming...
1372
01:25:56,893 --> 01:25:59,896
...request...permission to shoot.
1373
01:26:02,899 --> 01:26:04,233
Duck!
1374
01:26:04,667 --> 01:26:06,669
It was a struggle for democracy.
1375
01:26:08,070 --> 01:26:09,238
For truth
1376
01:26:09,405 --> 01:26:12,408
We must fire, sir!
1377
01:26:15,578 --> 01:26:18,581
It was a struggle
between life and death.
1378
01:26:27,890 --> 01:26:29,892
Those are the presidents.
1379
01:26:37,033 --> 01:26:39,769
In conclusion, I'd like to say that...
1380
01:26:39,835 --> 01:26:42,271
...it is our pleasure to welcome...
1381
01:26:42,438 --> 01:26:45,441
...these Dutch resistance fighters
here--
1382
01:26:48,945 --> 01:26:51,781
Would somebody go collect Blinky?
1383
01:26:52,615 --> 01:26:54,283
Let him come ahead.
1384
01:26:54,450 --> 01:26:56,285
What a surprise!
1385
01:26:56,419 --> 01:27:00,423
Ladies gentlemen
President Matthew Douglas.
1386
01:27:02,558 --> 01:27:04,293
Thank you. Thank you.
1387
01:27:04,427 --> 01:27:05,795
We have to talk...
1388
01:27:05,928 --> 01:27:07,863
...now.
1389
01:27:10,967 --> 01:27:13,703
Haney had to spin-dry
the kickback money.
1390
01:27:14,203 --> 01:27:15,204
That's how Olympia came in.
1391
01:27:15,705 --> 01:27:16,706
Russell, please.
1392
01:27:16,873 --> 01:27:17,707
There must be a way around this.
1393
01:27:18,207 --> 01:27:19,709
I'll give you anything you want.
1394
01:27:19,876 --> 01:27:20,710
I have money.
1395
01:27:20,877 --> 01:27:25,214
Pardon? Are you honestly saying that
Russell P. Kramer can be bought?
1396
01:27:25,781 --> 01:27:26,215
Shut up.
1397
01:27:26,782 --> 01:27:29,719
Why resign? I know nothing about
Reynold's death or the crash.
1398
01:27:30,286 --> 01:27:32,722
Okay, all right.
I admit I used the office.
1399
01:27:32,889 --> 01:27:35,224
But how is that different
from what you're doing?
1400
01:27:35,491 --> 01:27:36,726
You made money from this office.
1401
01:27:37,226 --> 01:27:38,227
Two things.
1402
01:27:38,628 --> 01:27:41,230
One... I never did anything illegal.
1403
01:27:41,631 --> 01:27:43,232
Big difference. Two...
1404
01:27:43,499 --> 01:27:44,734
I never did it for money.
1405
01:27:45,134 --> 01:27:47,737
-Come on! Sure you did!
-No, no, you just don't get it.
1406
01:27:48,237 --> 01:27:52,742
My books, personal appearances, I do
them so people still know I'm here.
1407
01:27:53,142 --> 01:27:55,144
So they don't forget me.
1408
01:27:57,413 --> 01:28:01,250
And so I can get
just a little taste of...
1409
01:28:01,751 --> 01:28:04,754
...what it's like to be...
1410
01:28:06,923 --> 01:28:09,926
...what I was.
1411
01:28:13,162 --> 01:28:14,764
This office has done a lot for me!
1412
01:28:15,097 --> 01:28:18,100
Now I'll do something for it...
get you out!
1413
01:28:20,336 --> 01:28:23,773
Excuse me, sirs. I'm Agent Kopeck,
in charge of the White House detail.
1414
01:28:24,273 --> 01:28:26,275
This is Officer Ralph Fleming.
1415
01:28:26,676 --> 01:28:27,777
He stopped Colonel Tanner.
1416
01:28:28,277 --> 01:28:29,779
Thank you Ralph.
1417
01:28:29,946 --> 01:28:30,780
You saved our lives.
1418
01:28:30,947 --> 01:28:32,281
it's an honor to meet you, son.
1419
01:28:32,682 --> 01:28:34,283
Actually, we've met before...
1420
01:28:34,450 --> 01:28:36,285
We have? Where?
1421
01:28:36,452 --> 01:28:39,455
Somewhere... "over the rainbow."
1422
01:28:55,304 --> 01:28:56,839
And so...
1423
01:28:57,006 --> 01:28:58,841
...it is with a heavy heart...
1424
01:28:59,308 --> 01:29:02,311
...and ironically, a weak heart...
1425
01:29:03,379 --> 01:29:04,847
...that I resign...
1426
01:29:05,214 --> 01:29:07,850
...from the office of
President of the United States.
1427
01:29:08,384 --> 01:29:09,852
Poor President Haney.
1428
01:29:10,086 --> 01:29:12,855
Don't you worry, Rita.
He'll be just fine.
1429
01:29:13,389 --> 01:29:15,858
You haven't lost your touch.
1430
01:29:16,325 --> 01:29:18,361
I miss you too.
1431
01:29:18,527 --> 01:29:23,366
I was finally getting used to him.
Now I must start all over again.
1432
01:29:23,833 --> 01:29:26,836
President Matthews.
1433
01:29:28,104 --> 01:29:31,374
Who would have ever thought of that.?
1434
01:29:31,607 --> 01:29:33,376
President Matthews.
1435
01:29:33,543 --> 01:29:38,381
There's only one way that moron
was ever going to become...
1436
01:29:38,548 --> 01:29:38,881
...president.
1437
01:29:39,415 --> 01:29:41,384
Either Haney would be assassinated...
1438
01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,753
...or he'd have to...
1439
01:29:45,621 --> 01:29:46,889
...resign.
1440
01:29:47,256 --> 01:29:50,893
I'm convinced that
it's for the nation's good...
1441
01:29:51,060 --> 01:29:53,896
...that I step aside.
1442
01:29:54,430 --> 01:29:55,898
Two more minutes.
1443
01:29:56,065 --> 01:29:57,400
Thank you. I'll be ready.
1444
01:29:57,867 --> 01:30:00,403
We need to talk, and right now.
1445
01:30:00,570 --> 01:30:02,905
Will you excuse us a minute?
1446
01:30:03,272 --> 01:30:03,906
What's up?
1447
01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:06,909
-We figured it out.
-You'll never get away with it.
1448
01:30:07,143 --> 01:30:10,413
I already did. Chief Justice Rehnquist
just swore me in.
1449
01:30:10,580 --> 01:30:14,417
I'm about to go on television
and reluctantly accept my charge.
1450
01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:15,918
You sent Tanner to kill us.
1451
01:30:16,385 --> 01:30:18,921
We investigate Olympia, wind up dead,
it gets tied to Haney.
1452
01:30:19,455 --> 01:30:21,424
Either way, he goes down.
1453
01:30:21,657 --> 01:30:22,925
You're right.
1454
01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:25,428
Only a few unfortunate deaths...
1455
01:30:25,795 --> 01:30:27,930
...but they can be blamed on Tanner.
1456
01:30:28,297 --> 01:30:30,433
He won't be a Joint Chief after all.
1457
01:30:30,900 --> 01:30:33,936
How do you explain us being here?
Are we both dead?
1458
01:30:34,403 --> 01:30:36,439
Your chopper definitely went down.
1459
01:30:36,606 --> 01:30:38,941
Thankfully it turned out
you weren't on board.
1460
01:30:39,475 --> 01:30:43,946
Press secretary's already apologized
for any confusion.
1461
01:30:44,347 --> 01:30:44,947
Thirty seconds.
1462
01:30:45,181 --> 01:30:45,948
Thank you.
1463
01:30:46,482 --> 01:30:47,450
Well, gentlemen...
1464
01:30:47,917 --> 01:30:51,921
...if you ask me, this whole thing's
been a real coup.
1465
01:30:52,421 --> 01:30:53,956
Funny thing, isn't it?
1466
01:30:54,123 --> 01:30:56,459
Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
1467
01:30:56,626 --> 01:31:00,630
But nobody knows it was
all just a big facade.
1468
01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:04,834
Who's the idiot now?
1469
01:31:13,976 --> 01:31:15,978
-Good to see you.
-Welcome home, sir.
1470
01:31:20,716 --> 01:31:20,816
I guess that's all she wrote.
1471
01:31:24,320 --> 01:31:27,323
Want to know what
gives me the red ass?
1472
01:31:27,790 --> 01:31:29,625
He damn near got away with it.
1473
01:31:29,892 --> 01:31:32,128
What do you mean "damn near"?
1474
01:31:32,395 --> 01:31:34,130
You got the whole conversation on tape?
1475
01:31:34,497 --> 01:31:36,632
I learned from the master.
1476
01:31:36,999 --> 01:31:41,637
The only problem is if I drop this off
at CNN Matthews gets thrown out...
1477
01:31:41,904 --> 01:31:43,639
...according to the 25th Amendment...
1478
01:31:43,873 --> 01:31:45,641
...the Speaker of the House
will become president.
1479
01:31:45,841 --> 01:31:47,643
God, anybody but him.
1480
01:31:47,810 --> 01:31:48,644
Tell me about it.
1481
01:31:49,011 --> 01:31:52,148
But I guess we have no choice.
We did everything we could.
1482
01:31:52,648 --> 01:31:57,153
I'll go home, kiss my wife, take
a shower and go to bed for a month.
1483
01:31:57,320 --> 01:31:58,654
Sounds good.
1484
01:31:59,222 --> 01:32:01,657
You know something? I must tell you.....
1485
01:32:01,924 --> 01:32:05,661
After going through this whole thing...
1486
01:32:05,728 --> 01:32:07,663
...I�ve realized...
1487
01:32:08,164 --> 01:32:09,165
...I really don't like you.
1488
01:32:09,665 --> 01:32:10,666
No kidding.
1489
01:32:10,867 --> 01:32:13,669
That's not what I wanted to say.
1490
01:32:13,936 --> 01:32:15,938
The thing is...
1491
01:32:16,439 --> 01:32:18,674
...I don't like you.
1492
01:32:18,941 --> 01:32:20,943
But...
1493
01:32:21,377 --> 01:32:23,679
...I think I'm going to...
1494
01:32:23,946 --> 01:32:25,948
...miss you.
1495
01:32:27,850 --> 01:32:30,686
If we hadn't spent 30 years
hating each other's guts...
1496
01:32:30,786 --> 01:32:33,189
...we might have been...
1497
01:32:33,256 --> 01:32:35,258
...friends.
1498
01:32:38,961 --> 01:32:40,696
I think I'll stop there...
1499
01:32:40,863 --> 01:32:44,867
...because I feel the goat cheese
pizza backing up on me.
1500
01:32:51,140 --> 01:32:51,207
You take care of yourself.
1501
01:32:51,374 --> 01:32:52,208
And...
1502
01:32:52,708 --> 01:32:53,709
...don't jump off trains.
1503
01:32:53,910 --> 01:32:55,211
I was pushed.
1504
01:32:55,278 --> 01:32:57,280
Same difference.
1505
01:33:07,590 --> 01:33:11,227
"Hail to the Chief, if you don't
I'll have to kill you.
1506
01:33:11,394 --> 01:33:12,728
"I am the Chief.
1507
01:33:13,129 --> 01:33:16,232
"So you better watch your step,
you bastards."
1508
01:33:16,299 --> 01:33:18,301
We're even.
1509
01:33:31,013 --> 01:33:33,015
I was told what you went through.
1510
01:33:33,616 --> 01:33:35,618
It's amazing.
1511
01:33:36,953 --> 01:33:39,288
Yes, I guess it was.
1512
01:33:39,455 --> 01:33:43,459
Now you can go home to Cleveland
for a well-deserved rest.
1513
01:33:44,327 --> 01:33:47,330
When it comes time for a rest...
1514
01:33:47,964 --> 01:33:50,967
...there's no place like Cleveland.
1515
01:33:52,635 --> 01:33:54,804
This must've been
a difficult experience.
1516
01:33:55,137 --> 01:33:56,305
It was pretty bad.
1517
01:33:56,639 --> 01:33:58,808
But on some level...
1518
01:33:59,275 --> 01:34:00,810
...I enjoyed it.
1519
01:34:01,944 --> 01:34:04,146
It was just nice to do something and...
1520
01:34:04,480 --> 01:34:05,815
...have a goal again.
1521
01:34:06,349 --> 01:34:09,318
I think it was a great service
you did for your country.
1522
01:34:09,552 --> 01:34:12,555
Most people would've given up.
1523
01:34:13,055 --> 01:34:16,826
You and President Kramer
did everything you could.
1524
01:34:17,927 --> 01:34:20,296
I'm proud to be attached to you.
1525
01:34:27,870 --> 01:34:28,838
No, Chet...
1526
01:34:29,372 --> 01:34:31,340
...you're wrong.
1527
01:34:31,674 --> 01:34:34,677
We didn't do everything we could.
1528
01:34:35,177 --> 01:34:37,847
Nine months after he took
the oath of office...
1529
01:34:38,080 --> 01:34:40,850
...former president and
convicted felon Ted Matthews.
1530
01:34:41,017 --> 01:34:45,354
...today began serving his sentence at
a federal prison in Stafford, Virginia.
1531
01:34:45,688 --> 01:34:48,858
But, unlike other political
scandals of the past...
1532
01:34:49,025 --> 01:34:51,861
...this one as spawned
an unusual coupling.
1533
01:34:52,094 --> 01:34:57,099
For that story, we take you
to correspondent Kaye Griffin.
1534
01:34:58,901 --> 01:35:01,871
Two of America's biggest
political rivals are making history.
1535
01:35:02,205 --> 01:35:07,376
Running together as independents are
ex-Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
1536
01:35:07,843 --> 01:35:10,846
I come to this country
with those fellows.
1537
01:35:11,047 --> 01:35:11,380
However...
1538
01:35:11,914 --> 01:35:15,885
...we don't know who will be running
as president and who as vice president.
1539
01:35:16,419 --> 01:35:21,424
I'm not ashamed to say it,
I slept with both those guys.
1540
01:35:23,426 --> 01:35:24,894
My love.
1541
01:35:25,361 --> 01:35:27,396
-Any words of wisdom?
-Of course.
1542
01:35:27,730 --> 01:35:28,898
Don't be a frigging fool.
1543
01:35:29,432 --> 01:35:32,902
Please, if you're going to use
the F-word, go for the gold.
1544
01:35:33,236 --> 01:35:34,403
Excuse us.
1545
01:35:34,871 --> 01:35:37,406
-Ready to face the voting public?
-Let's do it.
1546
01:35:38,708 --> 01:35:39,909
I'll make the announcement.
1547
01:35:40,076 --> 01:35:42,912
You're saying I'm going
to be president...
1548
01:35:43,246 --> 01:35:45,915
...and you vice president, correct?
1549
01:35:46,048 --> 01:35:48,417
After all we did,
you still don't trust me?
1550
01:35:48,885 --> 01:35:49,919
I trust you.
1551
01:35:50,453 --> 01:35:50,920
Thank you.
1552
01:35:51,254 --> 01:35:52,922
Like you me. I'll announce it.
1553
01:35:53,256 --> 01:35:55,424
We agreed that I would do it.
1554
01:35:55,758 --> 01:35:57,426
-Let go, please.
-No I won't.
1555
01:35:57,960 --> 01:36:00,429
I'm not letting go either.
1556
01:36:00,596 --> 01:36:01,430
Move, old man.
1557
01:36:01,931 --> 01:36:04,934
No way, sleazebag.
1558
01:36:05,334 --> 01:36:06,936
Money!
1559
01:36:07,169 --> 01:36:08,938
Did you drop that?
1560
01:36:09,472 --> 01:36:10,940
Yeah, that's mine.
1561
01:36:11,274 --> 01:36:12,441
My fellow Americans...
1562
01:36:13,109 --> 01:36:14,677
You son of a--
114775
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