Original subtitles

There's a work party.

There's a party at work. I'm taking the last train home.

Why didn't you wake me up?

Is Mons awake? Is he up?

What the hell is going on here? Fuck. There's always something.

Mons! You have to come now if you're going to make it to school.

-I don't start until second period. -You have to buy dress shoes today.

I'll wear the shoes I have.

No, you can't wear sneakers with a new suit.

Do you have to shout to each other?

How about being in the same room and talk normally?

-Did you figure it out? -What?

The drain.

I think it's completely clogged. I have to call a plumber.

MORNING MOOD

Sorry.

-Look at this. -Well, look at her.

-It's nice! -Yes.

I can't believe I had to become an adult to get my own.

-It's never too late. -Is Mons looking forward to it?

Mostly to the money, I guess. He doesn't like all the other stuff.

But I have to go.

-I thought we were grabbing a coffee? -No, I have a photo shoot.

-Don't you have ten minutes? -What is it?

-No, not here. -Is there something wrong?

-Come on, say it. -Pål has got himself a lady online.

-It's true. -Is he cheating?

He subscribes to a lady online who sends him pictures and videos.

Pays quite a bit too, as far as I've gathered.

Maybe you need to be more willing. Are you a prude?

-I am willing, all the time. -It's probably not that bad.

-Probably just a horny phase. -You think?

Anyway, I guess it's just normal...

What if it's something really gross that he can't do with me?

-If you know who she is... -Can't you go online and check?

I'd rather hear it from you than watch it myself.

Okay, send me the link and I'll have a look. I have to go.

-Why is the steak so tiny? -It's over 100 grams.

-When fried, it'll be even smaller. -It'll be raw in the picture.

Yeah, but it looks ridiculous. Those rosemary sprigs are huge.

We focus on colour and marbling, and we shouldn't eat a lot of meat.

This is advertising, Synne. We're not talking huge steaks.

-A normal Saturday steak. -Do you eat steak every Saturday?

It's about what the customer wants, and that's my responsibility.

Start over with a larger steak. I need to make a call.

Hey, did you find her?

I've created a profile and logged in.

-I'm looking at it now. -How is she? Is it racy?

Looks like some boob stuff.

-There's no poop or fisting. -Ok?

-But... -What?

-Come on, tell me. -Well, she...

-She's a cat. -A cat? Is it the right profile?

Yeah, it's the one you sent me. I can take a picture.

What a jerk!

There you go.

-Pretty big tits for a cat. -Look, I gotta go.

-But don't tell anyone. -I promise.

How's it going?

-It's grotesque. -Good thing you're not the customer.

I think we should do another one with the other steak.

What is it that you don't get, Susanne?

-Hi, Lene! -Hi, Tom!

Hi, how nice.

Hi. Oh, wow! That's absolutely beautiful!

-Yes. -What delicious looking steaks.

Lovely ingredients. Very good, Lene.

-Hello, sir! -Hi, Jon! How are you?

-Good stuff, isn't it? -I just told Lene,

-perfect job as usual. -Very good.

-See you later. -Congratulations on the acquisition.

Or is it too early to celebrate, perhaps?

Well, that stuff...

-Rumour has it, you know. -It's just rumours.

The most important thing is that you're happy.

I need to make a call. Talk to you later.

Did you two choose these great steaks?

Gorgeous. I love big steaks.

You tend to have small steaks. But when you fry them, they get dry.

But these will not get dry. This one is very big.

And it's wet, too. How did you do that?

-Petrol and wood glue. -Really?

-It makes it shiny. -Good idea.

Why haven't you said anything?

I thought you were busy with the confirmation.

-So you'll let me know on Monday? -No, of course not.

It was a bit thoughtless of me to think it wouldn't leak.

So why haven't you said anything?

What is it?

It's nothing. But can we do this on Monday?

No, you're being weird. Now we need to talk about it.

I'm not weird.

They've set some conditions. About the staff.

Ok. What does this have to do with me?

That's what I thought we could talk about on Monday.

Who they want to keep and not.

No... No... You're kidding, right?

-You're kidding? -No, Lene.

I understand if you don't want me to come in tomorrow.

You're a godfather. I won't let this affect Mons.

Ok.

Hello.

Hi. Can you pop in and get the cake?

I have to go to the dry cleaners, because they have my suit.

FROM KIKKI MEOW

-What was that? -Nothing.

Your dad said he wanted to say a few words to Mons tomorrow on FaceTime.

Forget it. Either he's here, or he can forget about it.

-He's chosen to go on holiday. -Mons might appreciate it.

That's nice.

But you might want to change the music.

It's a confirmation, not a funeral.

Rumors of the new Off-White Air Jordans were confirmed last week.

So I want to talk about how it can affect the market

and what you can get for shoes like these. What is it?

Hi. I picked up your suit. Did you buy shoes?

I'll wear shoes I already have.

Well, the suit is here. And remember to take a shower.

And you should write down your speech.

-I'm not giving a speech. -You are. Everyone's here for you.

-Can you leave? -Yes.

Rumors of the new Off-White Air Jordans...

-You should give it a try. -I'm trying to make an intro!

-And you have to try on the suit. -Thanks, get out.

-New Off-White Air Jordans... -And shower .

Yes! The new Off-White Air Jordans were confirmed last week.

So I want to talk about how it can affect the market

and what you can get for shoes like these.

FROM KIKKI AREN'T THESE GOOD ENOUGH?

Strange that Jon hasn't said anything about the acquisition.

I know he's considered it, but I'm not privy to everything.

A little change should be fun.

You'll probably get new tasks and new customers. You need that.

What do you mean I need it?

Well, just that a bit of change might be fun.

-Not that picture on the cake. -We think it's a nice picture of you.

-But you didn't ask me. -It's just a cake.

-It's not going on the table. -Can you handle this?

Why don't we eat your face and put the cake at the back of the table?

But I have yellow hair on the cake.

-Hi. -Hi.

Can all confirmands come with me, please. Follow me.

-Hi. You look so nice. -You too. Where is Pål?

He's parking at the school.

They've started charging up here, so he walks from the sports ground.

He can't afford it when he spends everything on the cat lady.

-I logged into his profile. -Not here.

The worst part is that they talk. They write long messages.

He said his new pulse watch gives him a rash and chafing.

Then she replies that she'll oil it and massage it.

Didn't you tell him that you know what he's doing?

Send him a boob photo with a cat filter and he'll get it.

Oh my God, 90 kroner for an hour. But we made it and congratulations.

-Nice watch. -Thanks.

No.

-Hi, Lene. -Pål!

-Hi, Mons. -Hello.

-You look good. -Thanks. Can't say the same.

This will be nice.

Through your actions you get to know yourself.

You get to know each other. You get to know the world.

Never mind what others think of you.

Show yourself to the world, dare to stand naked.

You are better than you think.

Be careful with that platter. It's an heirloom.

Any food soon?

Just go and entertain the guests, and there'll be food soon.

Lots of nice presents.

Holly and jolly and give a big hooray

When Mons is very happy Then we are all doing great

Yeah, Mons is very cool and...

As your godfather, I've been able to follow you all these years

and make many great memories with you.

So I have no doubt that you will do well in life,

and that you are now cringing over the horrible version

of that fucking song we just heard.

But there will be a lot of fucking in your future, Mons.

It's going very well. So, let's welcome you to adulthood, Mons.

We wish you the best of luck...

We'd like to propose a toast to our godson.

As you have seen, we have printed Mons' face,

for you all to have. So, if everyone can put Mons to your faces.

For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow

Hooray, hooray, hooray!

For he's a jolly good fellow Which nobody can deny...

-That's it. -I don't have time.

Which one should I choose? More boob? Less boob? Full boob?

Both will work. I have to...

-Hello! -Can you hear me? Hello!

-We can hear you. -Mons? Mons? Lene?

-We're all here now. -Bloody computer.

Dad...

-What are you doing? -We can hear you now.

Dear Mons! You've always been the best of the best.

And here's some advice... Don't do what your mother says!

Dad...

Britt? Britt! Come here!

-Bloody computer. -I can't take it anymore.

I think we'll move on.

-Are you okay? -I'm fine.

Maybe slow down on the wine a bit?

-And then he ate himself to death. -Really?

Yeah, something like that. He ate so much that...

The saturated day It's never the greatest

The best day is a day of thirst

Surely there is purpose In our journey

It's the journey That makes it worth it

The best goal is a night-long break Where the fire is lit and...

Sorry. And the bread is broken in haste

In places where you sleep only Break up, break up

The new day dawns

And finally, our great adventure...

-What are you doing? -Lene?

Don't interfere. You can go home. I mean it. Just go!

-Let's calm down a little. -Calm down? Really?

Massive overreaction.

I'll remember that the next time you whine about Pål and boob ladies.

Almost all of Norway watch porn online. Get over it!

-We have a lot of conditions. -That I had to go? Is that one?

No.

That was my decision.

You do know you're not worth a damn without me?

You do know I'm the reason your shitty company exists?

-I've been cleaning up your mess... -Don't you see I'm a little fed up?

You know what I'm fucking fed up with? I'm fed up with you.

Do you know why? Because you're a sleazy fucking eel.

You're so fake. Look at you.

No wonder you have to live your life alone.

-Then this is quite straightforward. -Yes. I'm quitting.

And not just my job, I'm quitting you, us.

It's over. From now on, you're nothing.

-Are you leaving? -Yes.

No, can't you stay? We've got lots of wine.

-We can stalk that cat lady. -I'm so tired.

-I have to relieve the babysitter. -Are you mad about earlier?

-Absolutely not. -That platter was after my mum.

Of course. Thanks for having us.

-It was a pleasure. -Thank you.

Drive carefully.

-Well, that went great. -Where's Mons?

He's upstairs counting his money.

-What's going on with you and Jon? -We've just ended our collaboration.

So you've lost your job? What about our finances?

I don't want to talk about it right now. We've had such a good time.

-Good night, Mons. -Good night.

Hey, Kikki, my best friend.

Sorry for being such a jerk.

You're so much prettier than that chick.

You've breastfed two babies and have such nice boobs. Great boobs.

I don't understand what Pål is thinking.

But you know what? I've got a surprise for you.

Can't say what it is, but it's hilarious.

You're gonna love it.

YOU'RE GORGEOUS.

Subtitling: Tommy Lund plint.com