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1
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,099
♪ Well, I don't know
Why I came here tonight ♪
2
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,936
♪ Got the feelin'
That somethin' ain't right ♪
3
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:24,190
♪ I'm so scared
In case I fall off my chair ♪
4
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:28,361
♪ And I'm wondering
How I'll get down the stairs ♪
5
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:32,073
♪ And there's clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right ♪
6
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:35,493
♪ Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you ♪
7
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,664
♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪
8
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:43,626
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
9
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,722
Frankie, what are we doing here?
10
00:00:55,972 --> 00:01:00,101
What's it look like? We're taking
fat rips off my new toilet bong.
11
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,771
Yes, but what are we really doing?
12
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,815
JM, this is a classic invention pivot.
13
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:11,279
Did you know that Tesla started
as a robot girlfriend for Elon Musk?
14
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,073
And this has nothing to do
15
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,658
with what happened with Grace
on Shark Tank?
16
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:20,038
I've already forgotten
about Grace's unforgivable betrayal.
17
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,917
I'm a toilet disruptor now.
Get the lighter.
18
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:30,340
Frankie, you are literally setting fire
to the thing that you and Grace made.
19
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,342
Do you want to get fucked up or not?
20
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,095
Let's fire this baby up.
21
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,732
Well, old friend, this is why
you're my new best friend.
22
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:52,195
Hey, don't bogart that toilet. Let me...
23
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,243
I've got the munchies.
24
00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,161
Oh, it's a little quick
to get the munchies.
25
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,038
Well, I was starving before I got here.
26
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,706
I could eat.
27
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,086
Oh, my God. We could go anywhere we want.
28
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,630
Grace would never go out with me
after I smoked.
29
00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,216
She always got real paranoid
when I was high.
30
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,635
What about that place
31
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,847
where they dump the seafood
right on the tables?
32
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,683
Oh, perfect.
It'll make up for all the times
33
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:24,435
Grace wouldn't let me eat chili
off the counter.
34
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,355
But I'm too wasted to drive.
35
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,441
Also, I don't drive.
36
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,284
- Hey.
- Hello.
37
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,787
So, how'd it go on Shark Tank?
38
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:43,871
Not well.
39
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,125
The only offer we got was from Mark Cuban.
40
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,625
You're kidding me.
41
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:51,296
And?
42
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,381
Well, I... I didn't make the deal.
43
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,925
And Frankie may never speak to me again.
44
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,009
Oh.
45
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,303
I'm sorry.
46
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:02,557
I need more than that.
I-I-I need to know this was worth it.
47
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,810
What on Earth did Cuban do to you?
48
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,395
Oh.
49
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,314
- It's complicated.
- Simplify it.
50
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,524
He bought a basketball team.
51
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,152
- Complicate it.
- It was the Mavericks.
52
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,947
And what terrible thing
did he do to you to get them?
53
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,116
He outbid me! Publicly!
54
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,869
- What?
- Yeah.
55
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,581
I can do it myself!
56
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,919
Don't tell me I sold out my best friend
for a basketball team!
57
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,879
No, it's not just that!
58
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,925
He's got more money than me!
59
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,968
Oh, God!
60
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,362
Guess what just got delivered.
61
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:01,491
Your midlife crisis, 30 years late?
62
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,118
Hey, man, this is what you wanted!
63
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,497
I do my thing, you do your thing.
64
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,875
You buy a theater, I buy a new ride.
65
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:16,381
Is this what we're doing now?
Revenge purchases?
66
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:21,052
Yep. I did have to sacrifice
our honeymoon money.
67
00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:26,683
But that's the kind of guy I am now,
bad to the bone!
68
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,435
Okay, but don't be surprised
69
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,814
if you see an ice cream machine
in the cupboard tomorrow!
70
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,067
Yeah, load up!
71
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,861
Put yourself in an early grave!
72
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,532
Oh, wait. You don't have one.
73
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,493
Nailed him.
74
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:50,873
What's a name that makes you think "sexy"
but also "non-toxic"?
75
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,332
Hmm.
76
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,543
Cherry blossom?
77
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,503
- Peony?
- Mm-mm.
78
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:56,796
Armie Hammer?
79
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,301
Uh, Barry is back
from his backwoods emotional journey,
80
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,721
and he is ready to punish you
with his feelings.
81
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,057
Okay, that's my cue. Good luck.
82
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,643
Why? There's not gonna be a fight.
83
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,729
As soon as I tell him
I turned down the job,
84
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:16,316
he'll be back to being
my beautiful beta Barry.
85
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,903
There's my little Eat Pray Lover.
86
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,281
How was Temecula?
87
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,158
Can we have the room, please?
88
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,662
Yeah.
89
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,749
Okay. Before you say anything,
90
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,085
you should know that I turned down
the San Francisco job
91
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,713
because I consider you...
92
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:40,923
above all things.
93
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,800
I think you should take the job.
94
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,137
I mean, you'd be...
you'd be great at it.
95
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,097
This feels like a trap.
96
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,433
No, no, no. It's-It's not.
It's not a trap.
97
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,809
I...
98
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:55,063
Look, I realized something
from my journaling.
99
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,149
This is all my fault.
100
00:05:58,232 --> 00:05:59,734
Oh, thank God.
101
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,199
Wait. Was that a decoy trap,
and this is the real trap?
102
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,242
You've always been
completely clear with me.
103
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,869
You don't want any kind
of commitment.
104
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:12,163
I never said "any."
We bought a mattress together.
105
00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:13,623
That has a seven-year guarantee.
106
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,333
I think I need more than a mattress.
107
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,416
Fine.
108
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,544
We can get a memory foam topper.
109
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,673
I don't think we...
110
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,719
can be "we" anymore.
111
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,806
You're breaking up with me?
112
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,518
I think it's best for both of us
in the long run.
113
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:34,769
Well, I disagree.
114
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,147
And don't I have a say in this?
115
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,317
You've had your say.
116
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,654
I just haven't been listening.
117
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,495
I better go before one of us cries.
118
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,631
Who am I kidding? It's gonna be me.
119
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,388
I'm sorry.
120
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:22,150
You know, people have shells, too.
121
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,778
Only ours are on the inside.
122
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,322
I was thinking the exact same thing.
123
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:31,909
I mean, it would be nice to have
an outer shell sometimes.
124
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,787
But I guess that's what raincoats are for.
125
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,581
This is unbelievable!
126
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:39,417
It's like we have one mind,
but two accents.
127
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,336
I'm paying for dinner, JM.
128
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,465
No, no, no, you pay. I insist.
129
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,516
Oh, no. I forgot my purse.
130
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,726
Oh, dear.
131
00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,687
You forgot mine, too.
132
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,521
Uh-oh.
133
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:05,526
Frankie, I think we're at that point
in our misadventures
134
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,904
where we usually call Grace to save us.
135
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,532
Well, that's not happening,
because I'm not speaking to her.
136
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:13,326
Oh.
137
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,328
And I left my phone at home.
138
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,079
Great.
139
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,082
And you left mine, too.
140
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,632
Well, no worries. We'll just borrow one
and call somebody else.
141
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:31,594
Oh, I-I can't remember
anyone's number anymore.
142
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,888
Except my lawyer's.
143
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:37,016
Uh, 1-800-ACCIDENTES.
144
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:40,937
It's okay, I just need to flip
through my mental Rolodex.
145
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,020
Nope.
146
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,523
Nope.
147
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,776
911, she moved...
148
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,238
Damn it. I got nothing.
149
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,157
Not a single number you can recall?
150
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,577
Only one.
151
00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,957
God, I can't believe I betrayed
my best friend for nothing.
152
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,333
Well, it wasn't for nothing.
153
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,919
I asked you to do something as my wife,
and you did it,
154
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,462
which I appreciate.
155
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,839
- That's not the point!
- Well, it is to me.
156
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,758
It was all because of a pissing contest.
157
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,134
I get it. You're not happy.
158
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,929
But you're also a businesswoman.
Deals come and go.
159
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,681
You don't get emotionally involved.
160
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:20,059
Oh, like you didn't
with that stupid basketball team?
161
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:24,313
What are you getting so upset for?
This is just a crazy Frankie invention
162
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,275
so she could reach her Fig Newtons
in the bathroom.
163
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:30,611
It was for me.
164
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,822
You wanted Fig Newtons in the bathroom?
165
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:33,905
No!
166
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:40,162
Frankie invented the Rise Up
because I got...
167
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,582
stuck on our toilet.
168
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,585
- What? When did this happen?
- When I first moved in.
169
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,379
And I'm just hearing about this now?
Why didn't you tell me?
170
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,797
Because it was humiliating.
171
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,882
Oh, so what? I'm your husband.
172
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:52,800
If you'd told me,
173
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:55,052
I would've gotten rid of it immediately.
174
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,556
Like you got rid of that couch
you know I can barely get off of?
175
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,684
Let me guess. Frankie?
176
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,478
I wish. It's a number I don't recognize.
177
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,856
Hello? Yeah... Oh.
178
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,649
Joan-Margaret. Yeah.
179
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,068
Uh-huh.
180
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,528
Is Frankie with you?
181
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:14,697
Oh, I'll be right there.
182
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,199
So you're just gonna go to her?
183
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,161
In case you hadn't noticed,
we're in the middle of a conversation.
184
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,746
I'd call it a fight.
185
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,332
That's why I'm slamming the door.
186
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,425
What's this about?
187
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,762
The board thought you deserved
to be honored...
188
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,766
What the hell is that?
189
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,601
The toilet Grace and Frankie gave us.
190
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,728
It doesn't even rise up anymore.
191
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,147
I had to get off the toilet all by myself.
192
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:49,564
You were saying?
193
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,316
Right.
194
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,944
The board thought
you deserved to be honored
195
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,365
for your incredible contribution
to the New Lear Theater.
196
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:03,412
"The Rob Hanson Concession Stand"?
Is that supposed to be me?
197
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,872
My name is Robert.
198
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,374
You pay by the letter, Rob.
199
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:12,046
So 20 grand got me a concession stand
where we only sell coffee and water?
200
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,839
Oh, we're not selling coffee this season.
201
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,967
Great. I ruined my marriage,
and I can't even get three extra letters?
202
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,024
Get that thing
out of here, now.
203
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,599
- What's that?
- What's what?
204
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,937
The thing you just flipped around
when I walked in here.
205
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:33,192
It's a plaque that we're putting up
at the theater to honor...
206
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,275
Us.
207
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:39,281
For giving scholarships
to theater-deprived youth.
208
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,200
Oh, well...
209
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,621
if we're being honored,
I'd like to see it then.
210
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,124
Show some humility, man!
211
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,337
Is this what we got for our money?
212
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,006
You know what?
213
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,051
- Ooh.
- I'm hopping on my hog,
214
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,554
and I'm just gonna go, man.
215
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:05,015
Just me, the lonely highway,
216
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,435
and Miss Janis Ian,
217
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:13,774
who I can hear
with my wildly expensive Bluetooth helmet!
218
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,450
Good to see you boys are back to normal.
219
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:25,035
Give me my damn plaque.
220
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,830
You could be a little more grateful.
221
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,874
It could have just said "Consesh Stand."
222
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,710
Sol?
223
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,215
Sol!
224
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:41,510
Sol.
225
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,888
She's got some giddyup.
226
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,689
Oh, I'm not talking to you.
227
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,233
Frankie, I'm here to pay your check
and get you out of here.
228
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,693
I'd rather wash dishes.
229
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,654
It turns out they don't pay
their dishwashers enough to eat here.
230
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,365
There goes the middle class.
231
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,993
- Can I please get a credit card?
- Absolutely.
232
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,245
- Thank you.
- But only after she listens to me.
233
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,664
God, have any of you
ever dined out before?
234
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,750
It's really simple. You eat, you pay.
235
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,960
Oh, bloody hell,
I'm not going down for this.
236
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,046
You two work it out.
237
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,759
I'd like a vodka martini,
very dry, extra olives.
238
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,302
We only serve wine and beer.
239
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,555
Then bring me a glass
and a shrimp cocktail, hold the shrimp.
240
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,809
I will DIY a Bloody Mary.
241
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:34,355
Can you just pay so I can get out of here?
242
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:35,898
Frankie...
243
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:41,654
I am truly sorry
for what happened on Shark Tank.
244
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,740
So tell me why you couldn't be straight
with me about the Cuban thing.
245
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,158
Have you met me?
246
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,662
I avoid all hard conversations.
247
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,164
It's... It's why I carry hard liquor.
248
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,457
It's bad enough you did it,
249
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,460
but then you made it worse
by not having the guts to tell me.
250
00:13:56,544 --> 00:14:00,130
Well, what do you want me to say?
That I regret it? Because I do.
251
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,007
That it was stupid? It was.
252
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,928
That even when I was doing it,
it didn't feel like me? It didn't.
253
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,013
Then why in the hell did you do it?
254
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,890
Because it's what a good wife does!
255
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:12,977
Oh, God.
256
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,229
What did I just say?
257
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:16,689
"That's what a good wife does."
258
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:21,151
Yeah, I know what I said.
I'm just horrified that I said it.
259
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:28,409
I couldn't find the breakup kit,
so I brought the PMS kit instead. Okay?
260
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:30,870
Yeah.
261
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,623
Why doesn't Barry understand
what I gave up for him?
262
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,126
I mean, Taneth offered me a dream job.
263
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:41,380
Now I'm gonna have to report to some
stupid supervisor in San Francisco.
264
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,009
Doesn't he understand
how I feel about supervisors?
265
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:48,262
And what did he really give up
for me, anyway?
266
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,432
Marriage and kids.
267
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,601
- Cuddling and foreplay.
- Yeah.
268
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,644
Right.
269
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,898
I just thought we'd both made peace
with his compromises.
270
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,612
What's taking so long
with that fucking Toblerone?
271
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,452
I know this is awful. Okay?
272
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:15,122
But does any part of you
think that maybe Barry is right?
273
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,126
I mean, you two
really do want different things.
274
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,588
Oh, my gosh, this is really happening.
275
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,799
Okay. I need a Toblerone.
276
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,969
No. You don't get PMS chocolate
for letting this happen.
277
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,805
- Why not?
- Okay.
278
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:36,727
I'm your real sister here, okay?
In feelings.
279
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,897
And we don't show them to people,
280
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,858
because then they'd know
you're really a softy.
281
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,526
And so am I.
282
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,696
Yeah. Being a heartless slut
is just a role I play.
283
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,449
I have to say, you play it really well.
284
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,532
Thank you.
285
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,995
But the truth is I'd rather be
snuggling up with my boyfriend,
286
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,456
watching Hallmark movies
about ladies who marry Santa.
287
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,917
Have you ever seen Loving Mrs. Kringle?
288
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,586
Own it. With extras.
289
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,671
It has extras?
290
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,340
Hi. How does Santa help me?
291
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:10,427
Is he gonna bring me a Barry who doesn't
want to get married or a Brianna who does?
292
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:14,640
What do I do?
293
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:16,642
You find a third option.
294
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,937
Like Santa did in Ho Ho Holy Matrimony.
295
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,021
Exactly.
296
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,107
That reference means nothing to me.
297
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:24,441
Oh.
298
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,861
It's okay. You would need
a magical cookie oven anyway.
299
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:30,948
- Yeah.
- So...
300
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:35,077
When you married Nick, I knew things
were gonna change between us,
301
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,454
but I never thought you were gonna change.
302
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,498
Just like I did
when I was married to Robert.
303
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,582
Hmm.
304
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:45,587
I really thought
it would be different with Nick,
305
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,424
but I lost me again.
306
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,094
You know, the real me,
the me I am with you.
307
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,347
- I like that you.
- Yeah, me too.
308
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,643
And no matter how sweet Nick is,
309
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,688
you're always gonna be
the first person I want to call.
310
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,024
You're my first person, too.
311
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:09,987
In fact, the only number
I know by heart is yours.
312
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,031
What?
313
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,118
- Oh, God.
- What?
314
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:23,000
I'm starting to wonder
if I ever should have married Nick.
315
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,337
What kind of scam are you ladies running?
Your card was declined.
316
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,423
What? It can't be.
317
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,885
Well, here, try this.
318
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,138
Thank you.
319
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,684
I don't know what kind of scam
you're running either,
320
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,313
but if you need it,
I've got access to a "wet floor" sign.
321
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,737
So, it turns out I'm not a Son of Anarchy.
322
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:55,324
Yes, but the good news is
someone named Rob Hanson
323
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,785
has a concession stand named after him.
324
00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:00,829
I can't believe
I bought that stupid thing.
325
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:06,627
I thought surviving cancer was supposed
to make you savor every moment
326
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:10,172
and be less petty and wiser.
327
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:15,302
And somehow, your cancer
even managed to make me stupider.
328
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,929
What's wrong with us, Rob?
329
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,850
We forgot to savor every moment
with each other.
330
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:28,732
I can't believe I blew
all of our honeymoon money.
331
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:32,319
I really wanted
to go on that cruise with you.
332
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,531
Ah, we don't need that boat.
We can still have a honeymoon.
333
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,283
- How?
- Right here. In our beautiful home.
334
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,453
We'll shut everything off.
We'll tell everyone we've left town.
335
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,497
We'll order every meal in.
336
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,168
Go on.
337
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,255
I lost it.
338
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,258
Anyway, let's stay home.
339
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:55,968
I love that idea.
340
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,642
Oh, shit!
341
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:06,395
I knew they should have stuck
to vibrators.
342
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:07,688
Oh, jeez!
343
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,290
What's going on? Adam said
you got attacked by a squirrel?
344
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:29,376
Yeah, a squirrel named "I Want You Back."
345
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,962
Look, I really don't...
346
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,131
Please just let me say what I need to say.
347
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:38,427
I don't want to lose you,
so here's what I'm willing to do:
348
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,512
We combine finances
like you always wanted.
349
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,599
I give you another shelf in the closet,
and you can eat my leftovers
350
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,351
when we order Ethiopian, ramen,
and Mexican.
351
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,778
Look, you know
I hate thinking about the future.
352
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:56,028
But the only thing I hate more is thinking
about a future without you in it.
353
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,242
So...
354
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,378
Oh, my God.
355
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,965
I don't understand.
Are you... Are you proposing to me?
356
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,675
Yes.
357
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:19,759
And no.
358
00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:20,968
Uh...
359
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,974
So I'm proposing that we get engaged
and stay that way.
360
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,226
Forever.
361
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,232
I love you.
I know this is less than you want,
362
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:37,027
but it's so much more than I thought
I could ever give anyone.
363
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,658
Is it enough for you?
364
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:54,544
Yes.
365
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:57,422
I would love to spend
the rest of my life...
366
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,050
engaged to you.
367
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,476
I knew I was gonna cry today.
368
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,149
What am I gonna tell Nick?
369
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,735
You know, I don't want to lose him.
370
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:22,572
I just want things to go back
to the way they were with us.
371
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,157
I'm gonna be honest.
372
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,119
It's going to be a very hard conversation.
373
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,078
Yeah.
374
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,205
So I think you should fake your own death.
375
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,790
Oh, Frankie.
376
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:34,835
You're right. Fake his death.
377
00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,378
That's never been done.
378
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,673
Oh, there's definitely shrimp in this.
379
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:43,385
I got your text
about not being able to pay.
380
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:46,054
I understand the crab is market price,
381
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,890
but you are married to a billionaire.
382
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,143
For some reason,
none of my cards are working.
383
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:52,894
Thanks for coming.
384
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,354
No problem.
385
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:57,274
It's not like anything important
was going on in my life,
386
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:59,901
except I was proposing to Barry.
387
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:01,778
You what?
388
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,071
You're getting married?
389
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,615
Even better. We're never getting married.
390
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,368
- What?
- I know.
391
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:09,786
Isn't it wonderful?
392
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:13,248
We're just gonna be engaged forever.
393
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,374
Genius.
394
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,585
And Barry's okay with this?
395
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:19,338
Please. He's already
on the phone with his mom.
396
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,758
Oh, she must be so confused for you both.
397
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,468
I had to come up with something.
398
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:26,928
I know it's unconventional,
but it works for us.
399
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,638
That's what you need to do.
400
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,307
Get engaged to Barry?
401
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:33,602
No, come up with something unconventional
for you and Nick.
402
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:38,023
Please tell me you've either
come to pay the check or kill me.
403
00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,191
I don't care anymore.
404
00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:42,194
- So I just got engaged today.
- Okay.
405
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,279
Thank you.
406
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:48,408
Um, so I don't know if that entitles me
to a special discount or anything.
407
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,827
I know some places do stuff like that.
408
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:52,496
It's classy.
409
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:56,124
Yeah, because that's what we're
known for here at The Crab Barrel.
410
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,047
Yeah, I understand.
411
00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:03,507
Oh, she's home.
412
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:05,467
- Hey.
- Hey.
413
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:06,676
Thank God you're back.
414
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,804
Yeah, I'm sorry I left like that.
415
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,472
I was being stupid.
416
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:15,102
I'm sorry I keep making Frankie an issue.
I... I know you love me.
417
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:18,021
And I have absolutely no reason
to be insecure.
418
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:19,147
Oh, boy.
419
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,649
Um...
420
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,651
Nick, it's-it's not all on you.
421
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,404
I should have told you
about that day in the bathroom.
422
00:23:25,987 --> 00:23:27,322
Look, I get it.
423
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,324
The longer you don't
tell someone something,
424
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,368
the harder it is to ever say.
425
00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:33,120
And then when you tell them,
426
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:35,664
it may not be exactly
what they want to hear.
427
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:38,166
But if-if they can deal with it,
428
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:43,922
then the relationship can maybe turn
into a different kind of relationship.
429
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:47,008
- Right. You can't fear change.
- Yeah.
430
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:50,637
The important thing is,
no matter how crazy things get,
431
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:53,598
you get through them together.
432
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:56,017
- Who's that?
- It's change.
433
00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,525
- Oh, my God!
- Mrs. Skolka,
434
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,194
- I'm Agent Fenmore with the FBI.
- What the hell?
435
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,905
Nick Skolka, you're under arrest.
436
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:10,031
Hi, Karin.
437
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,701
What...? What's happening?
438
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,494
Remember how we were just talking about
439
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,830
the longer you don't
say something to someone,
440
00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:18,540
the harder it is to say?
441
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:19,875
Say what?
442
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,377
Things like securities fraud
and tax evasion.
443
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:25,505
Allegedly. Really, Karin? Handcuffs?
444
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:28,800
- Nick?
- Call Miriam. She knows what to do.
445
00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:31,970
Could I have a second
with my wife, please?
446
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:36,391
I'm really sorry about this.
447
00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,729
I swear, it's all a misunderstanding,
and it's all gonna work out.
448
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:41,980
Is it?
449
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,731
Let's go.
450
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:47,485
And Grace...
451
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:50,113
sit on that couch you hate,
452
00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:52,782
and you might just figure out
how to rise up.
453
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,202
Well, what does that mean?
454
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:57,078
Don't give up on me.
455
00:24:58,371 --> 00:24:59,456
I love you.
456
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:14,429
I can't believe
I didn't see this coming.
457
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,056
The trip to the Caymans,
458
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:19,559
selling off his art,
the credit cards being declined.
459
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,562
And he did brag a lot about evading taxes.
460
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,272
- Yeah, he really did, didn't he?
- Hmm.
461
00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:27,776
What am I gonna do now, Frankie?
462
00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,986
Oh, that's the easy part.
463
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,488
- I'm taking you home.
- Oh.
464
00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:35,951
What is it with this couch?
465
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:39,579
Nick said something really weird
before they took him away.
466
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:42,874
Yeah. Was it, "You'll never take me alive,
you dirty copper"?
467
00:25:43,291 --> 00:25:45,126
No, because he isn't Jimmy Cagney.
468
00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:48,296
He said, if I sat
on this stupid couch long enough,
469
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:51,633
I'd figure out how to solve
our... our Rise Up problem.
470
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:54,427
Wait a minute.
471
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:56,888
He said this couch?
472
00:25:57,430 --> 00:25:59,224
Well, it's the only one here.
473
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:05,021
This very couch that you've hated
since the day you moved in?
474
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:07,566
Well, actually, I hated it
before I moved in.
475
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:12,028
The couch he mysteriously
never got rid of?
476
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,698
I find that interesting, Grace.
477
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,783
Very interesting.
478
00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:22,789
Is it possible this couch is uncomfortable
for a reason?
479
00:26:22,872 --> 00:26:25,125
Yeah. Poor Italian design.
480
00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:27,085
Step aside.
481
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:29,379
I can't even get off it.
482
00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:33,091
Oh, yeah. I can step aside.
483
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:36,595
God, Frankie.
Why do you have a box cutter?
484
00:26:36,886 --> 00:26:39,973
I grabbed it this morning.
I thought it was a pack of gum.
485
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:41,891
No, no, Frankie, don't!
486
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:43,268
What? Stop!
487
00:26:43,351 --> 00:26:46,771
Frankie, what are you doing?
Frankie, no! Stop it.
488
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:48,857
I sure hope I'm right.
489
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:49,941
God.
490
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,737
Oh!
491
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:55,947
My God!
492
00:26:56,948 --> 00:27:00,285
I used to be excited
when I found nickels in the couch.
493
00:27:00,368 --> 00:27:01,620
Frankie!
494
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:07,417
Oh, my God. I think we've got
our funding for the Rise Up!
495
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:09,961
Thank you, Nick!
496
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:11,880
I'm gonna go see what's in the mattress.
497
00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:14,132
Yeah, no, Frankie! Stop.
498
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,681
Well, we're definitely registering
for a shit-ton of gifts.
499
00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:23,868
Can we do that if we know we're
never gonna get married?
500
00:27:23,892 --> 00:27:26,311
Well, we can if you want
that nine-and-a-half quart
501
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,563
Le Creuset Dutch oven in matte navy.
502
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:30,482
That'll complete my set.
503
00:27:30,565 --> 00:27:32,025
Come here. Mmm.
504
00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:36,738
Well, look at you two canoodling
on the couch.
505
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,074
We're engaged and registering, bitch!
506
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,454
I can't believe I said that.
Uh, forgive me?
507
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:48,792
Hmm. Well, seeing you guys so happy
is a beautiful thing.
508
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,085
Especially you.
509
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:52,503
Thank you.
510
00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:56,508
Crazy thing. I got a call from Taneth.
511
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,218
She called you?
512
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,513
Yeah. We've actually talked a few times.
513
00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:03,973
Of course, she's so upset
you didn't take the job.
514
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,601
Oh, man. Is she sulking?
515
00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:08,436
Yeah.
516
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,898
But I've been getting her
to focus on other stuff.
517
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:15,735
And she really appreciated it and, um...
518
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:17,862
offered me a job.
519
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:19,531
That's incredible!
520
00:28:19,614 --> 00:28:21,884
The one she offered you
in San Francisco, and I'm taking it.
521
00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:24,703
- Incredibly bad for everyone in this room.
- Wait.
522
00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:30,083
You took my job?
523
00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:34,796
And so now you're my boss?
524
00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:35,964
No.
525
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,757
No, no, no, no, no, not boss.
526
00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:40,218
- Not boss at all.
- Okay.
527
00:28:41,177 --> 00:28:42,303
Supervisor.
528
00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:51,813
I feel so guilty.
529
00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:56,609
Why? Because you wanted to be back
at the beach house with me so bad,
530
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:59,195
you manifested your husband's arrest?
531
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:00,447
No.
532
00:29:01,364 --> 00:29:05,493
Because this is what I wanted. I...
I just didn't want it this way.
533
00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:08,621
Oh, Grace, Nick is white-collar.
534
00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:11,875
In three years,
he'll probably be president.
535
00:29:13,376 --> 00:29:15,920
In the meantime, let's enjoy what we have.
536
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:19,632
- It is good to be back.
- Oh.
537
00:29:23,803 --> 00:29:25,096
Ah, hey, look.
538
00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:28,975
What are you two jabronis doing here?
539
00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:31,394
Funny story.
540
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:34,189
Our entire house flooded.
541
00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:37,317
- Oh, not funny "ha-ha."
- What happened?
542
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,111
What happened was your Rise Up exploded.
543
00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,446
Oh, God.
544
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:45,700
But the best part is,
our insurance says they won't cover it.
545
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,828
But they did recommend
going after the people who gave it to us.
546
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:51,456
- Oh, God.
- And since I now own
547
00:29:51,539 --> 00:29:55,752
the most expensive concession stand
in America, and he's a hog man,
548
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:59,088
we can't even afford to stay in a hotel.
549
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:01,424
We've got 50 grand in the freezer.
550
00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:04,928
Peel off a hundy,
get yourself a motel for the night.
551
00:30:05,011 --> 00:30:08,890
Oh, our house is going to be
a construction site for months.
552
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,309
Roomies.
553
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:13,686
Oh, God.
554
00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:24,322
♪ Golden years ♪
555
00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:27,367
♪ Gold, whop, whop, whop ♪
556
00:30:29,285 --> 00:30:30,870
♪ Golden years ♪
557
00:30:31,538 --> 00:30:34,123
♪ Gold, whop, whop, whop ♪
558
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,710
♪ Golden years ♪
559
00:30:38,169 --> 00:30:40,630
♪ Gold, whop, whop, whop ♪
560
00:30:40,713 --> 00:30:44,843
♪ Don't let me hear you say
Life's taking you nowhere ♪
561
00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,678
♪ Angel ♪
562
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,055
♪ Come get up, my baby ♪
563
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:51,474
♪ Look at that sky, life's begun ♪
564
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:55,812
♪ Nights are warm and the days are young ♪
565
00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:57,814
♪ Come get up, my baby ♪
566
00:30:58,147 --> 00:31:00,275
♪ There's my baby, lost that's all ♪
567
00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:04,362
♪ Once I'm begging you
Save her little soul ♪
568
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:07,073
♪ Gold, whop, whop, whop ♪
569
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:15,456
Okay, good night!
42405
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