All language subtitles for Grace.and.Frankie.S06E06.720p.NF.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV

♪ Well, I don't know
Why I came here tonight ♪

♪ Got the feelin'
That somethin' ain't right ♪

♪ I'm so scared
In case I fall off my chair ♪

♪ And I'm wondering
How I'll get down the stairs ♪

♪ And there's clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right ♪

♪ Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you ♪

♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

As you both know, I have just completed
the market research

for our new product, the Rise Up,

brought to you by the people
who brought you Ménage à Moi.

We know that. We're those people.

Please save your questions until the end.

That wasn't a question.

And you've just lost
your question privileges.

Shh. I don't want us to get thrown out.

When presented with the word "toilet,"

the response from customers at Costco,

uh, varied from... "Gross,"

"Not sexy,"

"Get away from me now,"

and, "Where's the rotisserie chicken?"

Not great toilet news.

But where is the chicken in that place?

Unfortunately, the words "privy,"

"loo," "commode," and "shitter"

all tested better than the word "toilet."

- Shitter beat toilet?
- Not the way you say it.

"Shitta" beat toilet.

Hmm, I can see that.

Well, I'm... I'm afraid, ladies,
we're sunk.

No, we're not.
It's hard to market.

It's a toilet.

You know, if it was easy,
every joker would be making one.

Well, we do have some good news.

This outfit tested very highly
for your date tonight,

especially in your target demo
of men age 21 to 99.

You had her test your date outfit?

Look, I've been texting and flirting
with Jack for weeks.

I've set the stage.

But now I've got to go out and be
Lady Gaga, because this guy is cool.

What do you mean? You're always
the cool one in a relationship.

You told me yourself.

I tell you lots of things, Grace.

He already likes you enough
to give you a Jerry Garcia sneaker.

- Hmm.
- Isn't that Deadhead for "I'm into you"?

Yes, but he went out
with Carole King and Carol Kane.

Wow, you really are nervous.

I am. I went on a mock date with Coyote,
and it did not go well.

- Thank you.
- Mmm.

It's just that an egg white omelet

would've been the healthier option
for you, that's all.

That's some banana split calling
the omelet unhealthy right there.

I'm not familiar with that saying.

I'm not the one having surgery in a week.

Correct. I am.

And I don't think a few egg yolks
are going to change my prognosis.

Stop! Are tomatoes bad now? Let me check.

"Are tomatoes bad now?"

Oh, yes. They are.

Wait. No, that's from 2014, hold on.

Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling,

ad, scrolling.

Okay, tomatoes are good to go.
He's fine.

- You're fine.
- Wait!

Carcinogens.
Aren't there carcinogens in coffee?

I think there are. Good save, Robert.

You want Bud to rub your feet?
Bud, can you rub his feet?

- On it.
- No!

Stay away from my feet!

This, right here, is why I didn't want
anyone to know about my surgery.

Where are you going?

To the cancer support group
the doctor told us about.

Oh, that's a great idea.

We support that. Right, Robert?

Yes, we do. You need one of us...

- Guess he's all set.
- Hmm.

- You just sticking around or...
- Yep. On my way out.

Have you seen the stapler?

Yep.

Could you tell me where it is?

Why don't I just leave it on the printer,

and then when you're firing off
another cover letter,

it'll be right there for you.

Okay.

Then, here's your report.

Slice.

You know, cut the tension.

- What do you need, Barry?
- Right. Every department's out of paper,

and everyone's too afraid
to come in and get it.

Does everyone need to print
their résumés now?

I-I don't know.

I'll bring them some.

Quick, Barry, rip a fart in her fort.

- I can't.
- Oh, now you can't?

So, seems like this sister-fight's
winding down,

and everything's gonna be sort of resolved
by, say, Friday 7:00 p.m.?

Why?

Ugh. Not going on a double date
with her and Dan.

But the... the short rib.

What is it with you and that short rib?

The short rib is legendary.

Like... you know it received
several thousand votes for mayor?

And you have to pay for it in advance,
which I did.

And they won't seat less than four people
at the table. I already checked.

Okay, fine. We'll just go
with another couple.

Never mind. I'll just cancel
the fucking reservation, I guess.

Barry, you don't think I can find
someone else to go with us?

No, you know, I don't think you can find
two people to go with us.

- What about...?
- Bud and Coyote? Not officially a couple.

- Erin and Liz?
- Vegetarians.

Of course. We have tons
of other couple friends.

- And you've alienated all of them.
- Not Mark and Cindy.

You mean Mike and Sandy?

Is... Is that their names?

This is why we need Dan and Mallory.

They're our only couple friends.

They were our only couple friends,
until Mallory betrayed me.

You know what?

Make up with your sister
or find another couple.

My mom and Nick?

- Yes.
- Ew, no.

Hey, hey, hey.

Well, well. Someone must have had
a good time on their date.

I did.

I think.

I mean, the ride there was fun.
And the ride home was great.

Oh, no. Well, the date was bad?

Well, there's no way to know at this time.

It's just a default setting for them.

What did you just say?

...T-shirt cannon...

Whatever... no reason...

I'm sorry, one more time.

I couldn't bring any
because of the straitjacket.

You couldn't hear him the entire night?

Well, I heard bits and pieces.
What I heard, I liked.

Frankie, I want to thank you for tonight.

I want to thank you for letting me
take my shoes off in here.

I know what I told you
isn't exactly what everybody

would talk about on a first date.

I'm not everybody.

No, you're not.

I've never been on a date with someone
who fills up on mints from the host stand.

Why would they have them
up at the entrance

if they didn't want you
to start with them?

Well, you know,
the entrance is also the exit.

You're blowing my mind right now.

Wait, go back. What did he tell you?

"The entrance is also the exit."

No. I-I know that. Everybody knows that.

The thing you normally don't say
on a first date.

I'm getting there.

Ah, I got to tell you,

part of the reason I haven't been out
with anyone in so long

is that I've been ashamed
to talk about it, for obvious reasons.

Loud and clear.

And you're a really great listener.

- I really am.
- Mm-hmm.

In fact, I would gladly listen

to that thing you told me
in the restaurant.

Again, right now.

I can't wait till Thursday.

Thursday?

Our second date, which I think
we discussed in that too-loud restaurant.

Was it too loud,

or have you just needed hearing aids
for years and refused to accept it?

How can I be the cool one
in the relationship with a hearing aid?

Besides, they've never once
gone with my outfit.

Now, an ear trumpet, on the other hand...

You sold me on the Rise Up when you said,

"Don't be ashamed of something you need."

Did I?

I can't hear most of what I say
these days.

That's a blessing. But do you really want
to start your relationship like this?

I don't want to spook Jack
with every little flaw right away.

Besides, he thinks I'm accepting, chill,
and a bitchin' listener.

- Well, you are. You're just a bad hear-er.
- Hmm.

Okay, let's try to piece together what
he might have said in that restaurant.

At one point he did say,
"Tonight, we have a lovely clam linguine."

That was the waiter.

Could be.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Do you need help with that?
Sometimes they can be tricky.

No, I can take my jacket off myself,
thanks.

Just making sure you know
I'm here for you, whatever you need.

I know. Thanks.

So, how was your support group?

It was great. Really fun.

Talking about cancer was fun?

People with cancer
make their own kind of fun.

Well, I'm really very proud of you
for going.

Maybe next time I could go with you.

Oh, no, it's not
for family members. Sorry.

Oh.

Well, then I-I guess it's better to talk
to people who are going through it.

Yeah.

In fact, there's another one on Thursday.
I'm going to go.

Okay.

And maybe afterwards,
you can tell me all about it.

Oh. Robert...

the first rule of cancer club is, uh...

well, have cancer.

So, Jack, on Thursday, the day of Thurs,

how long do you think it would take me

to get to, uh, the place
to which we are both going?

Uh, uh, wait, is that surface street time
or highway?

And how fast do you think I drive?

Just pick her up.

Beach house, 6:00 p.m., no cops.

Ah, thank you. Why didn't I think of that?

Because you didn't go
to Jason Statham's charm school.

Okay, okay, everybody, focus on me. Yo!

So, I was up all night.

Ooh, lucky Nick.

Huh? Oh. Oh, he's fine.

No, I was working.

And do you know what I realized?

I love this.

I love working with you.

Well, right back at you, sister.

I love spinning your bonkers ideas
into gold.

Well, fuck you, sister.

And I figured out
how we're gonna market the Rise Up.

You know how you don't want to freak
Jack out by leading with the negatives?

It's the same thing with Rise Up.

We have to ease people into it,

and then, once they're on board,
boom, toilet.

Just come out and say it: I'm your muse.

Whatever.

We're selling a brand, right?
An idea, not just a toilet.

So our marketing
has to empower older people

while we build a mystique around it.

And then we just blast them
with the toilet.

No, we don't blast anybody.

But you said, "Boom, toilet,"
and nobody batted an eye.

I am not getting into the weeds with you
over "booming" versus "blasting." Again.

So, ladies and ladies,

our teaser campaign.

Now this is sexy.

I would definitely tell you
to buy me whatever this is selling.

This is gonna go online,

and then, hopefully,
people will start to engage with us.

Can we also post these
all over town,

like on buildings and overpasses?

What a great idea.

I have ski masks, a ladder,
and wheat paste in my car.

Well, I suppose we can use that stuff
to hang posters.

Ye...

Yes, of course I'm serious about dinner.

Yes, but I like to think of us as the type
of friends who don't speak for two years

and then just pick up
right where we left off.

Okay, then stop watching
my Instagram stories.

Hey, it's Bri.

Brianna.

Brianna Hanson.

Okay, bye.

You wanted to see me?

Hey, E-dog.

I know it's Erica. I just wanted
to show you how close we are.

- Oh, God, what's happening?
- Nothing!

- This is for you.
- Oh.

I just wanted to see
whatcha doing Friday night.

Um, working late?
Is that the right answer?

The right answer is having fun...
with me and Barry.

Dinner, Friday night, you and your...

girlfriend? Boyfriend?

Please make a face
so I know when I'm close.

I've been married a year. To Pete.

We met here.

Great. So we're on for Friday.

What? Oh, Friday.

I can't.

I'm...

getting an operation.

It's elective.

And I'm electing.

Hmm.

Big bumms,
you're gonna have to reschedule that.

You'll be working late. Now get out.

- Barry.
- Hi.

Just had to give Erica a talking-to
about fiscal ointment projections.

You get it.

You tried to get her and Pete
to come to dinner, didn't you?

Who the fuck is Pete?

Oh, here's another good one.

"My boss was trying to get me
to retire early,

but I rose up and refused.

- He ended up giving me a raise."
- Ah!

"Hashtag rise up."

I can't believe this is working.

I can't believe how much hummus
is on your screen.

Oh.

Here's a good one.

"At a restaurant, they only had
those high tables with terrible stools.

But I rose up and demanded a chair
with a back. Hashtag rise up."

I demand a raise. Hashtag rise up.

No.

Well, I've already risen up.
So I guess I'll go and make us some tea.

Hello?

In here.

I just wanted to stop by and give my dad
this healthy green shake I made.

It's Bud's recipe.
Don't tell him I used it.

- Still fighting over a girl?
- Mm-hmm.

That's great for you two grown men.

Why is the green shake brown?

Oh, a bunch of Ubers canceled on me.

Ugh. I was standing outside for a while.

Where's Dad?

He's with his cancer support group
at the JCC.

- Hmm.
- No idea when he'll be back.

Oh, I-I sometimes go
to AA meetings there.

I'm sure the schedule's on their website.
Let me check.

Yeah, here it is.
Uh, "Family Cancer Support Group."

Family? No, he goes to the one
just for the patient.

- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.

"For cancer patients, their family,
and caregivers."

Yeah.

Yeah, it's the only one.

Why didn't he want me there?

Well, if it makes you feel better,
you can come to one of my AA meetings

and support me.

I can't that day. Sorry.

You want half to go?

Thanks.

Hey.

Where's, uh, Brianna?

She said she'd rather eat
in a bathroom stall than with me.

So, how are you... how you holding up?

Well, actually, it's been just...

I feel you. I feel you. It's like, ugh!

- Mm-hmm.
- I hate seeing you two fight.

- Right.
- You know, it's...

Look...

I never had siblings.

You know, I-I-I had bird brothers,

which, uh, you know,
they'd fight occasionally,

and they're pretty quick
to make up though.

Okay.

But that's how they do in bird society.

Barry, I don't give a fuck
about your short rib.

This is... This is bigger
than the short rib, Mallory.

All I did was apply for a job.

And all you have to do
is apologize for it.

I need to apologize?

- Yeah!
- Hmm.

I mean, if you...
if you feel like you should.

Whenever Brianna and I fight,

it only ends if I say I'm sorry
for something I didn't do.

That's what being in a relationship
with Brianna is.

Doesn't that sound crazy to you?

Oh, my God, Brianna is crazy!

What? Are you okay?

- This...
- Wait a min...

Hey.

Too crazy to cancel that short rib?

Ta-da! All right, I'm ready for whatever
and wherever this date is.

I have my formal muumuu, a funky duster,

and cut-off shorts I've restored to pants.

Are you sure about this?

You're right. I'll turn them
back into shorts.

No. What if Jack's secret
is something bad?

Oh.

How bad could it be?
He told me on our first date.

What if he's a flat-earther?

What if he's a dog kicker?

No, I asked him point-blank
if he kicked dogs.

What if he doesn't believe in aliens?

Oh, you shut your mouth.

Doesn't it seem like a lot of work
just to hide the fact

that sometimes you have trouble hearing?

I don't know. Aren't we all
just hiding our toilets, Grace?

That is one
of your more troubling metaphors.

Six crack.

Nine dot.

Uh, five crack.

Oh, God.

Okay, my husband's here,

and he thinks
I'm at the cancer support group next door.

So you both have cancer right now,
so just go with it.

I had cancer once. Skin.

Great. Follow Greg's lead.

Uh, yes, and Greg's skin cancer is, uh...

Uh, I-I don't know, uh...

This isn't your improv class, Ron.
Just be cool.

Sol.

- What's going on?
- Oh. Hey, Robert.

Whatcha doing here?

Well, I was just coming to support you
in your cancer support group.

I saw online that families are allowed.

And welcome.

Mm-hmm.

Greg, what was that thing you were
just saying about your skin cancer?

Uh, no, thank you.

Uh, I, uh...

Cancer.

- Hey, Jack.
- Hey, Grace. Nice to see you again.

- Jack's here.
- Hey!

I hope this is all right
to wear on our date.

Of course it is.

You could wear your pants as a jacket
as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, really?

I'm just so happy you agreed
to a second date with me.

Why wouldn't I go
on another date with you?

I guess because the only
other time I told someone what I told you,

she freaked out and ghosted me.

Hmm.

Look, Jack...

I-I need to be honest about that thing
you told me the other night.

Oh, man, now you're freaking out.

No, no, no. Uh, the reason
I reacted so well was, um...

was Grace told me the exact same thing

about her.

- Oh.
- So I was used to it.

And... And since you two
have that in common,

why don't I give you some space
to talk about it.

Uh, anybody want some pop?

Oh, Grace, wow.

Yeah. Wow, indeed.

- Yeah, just a second, Jack.
- You... Yeah. Wow.

Absolutely not!

There's a special place in hell

for women who don't help other women.

I am not gonna pretend that I have
the same deep, dark secrets that Jack has.

Why not?

I don't even know what they are,
and neither do you,

'cause you're too ashamed
to admit you can't hear.

Oh, just like you're too ashamed
to tell everyone we're selling a toilet.

I'm generating intrigue.

That's what I'm doing.

Mine's working. Yours is a disaster.

Look at this, working.

"I rose up for equal pay at work.
Hashtag rise up."

"I rose up for access ramps
at my grocery store. Hashtag rise up."

"I rose up for less Jews
at my country club! Hashtag..."

Oh, my God.

I'm sure that must be one crackpot.

And 70 of the crackpot's friends.

Turn off the Internet!
Turn off the Internet!

What if Jack's secret is that he doesn't
want Jews in his country club?

You happy? Now I'm not talking
to my boyfriend either.

Fuck that.

How is it that no matter what you do
to someone, it's never your fault?

I know. I've struggled
with this irony, too.

Then struggle with this:

I was seeing if I could actually get a job
that wasn't given to me by my sister.

I wanted to know
that I was worth something...

to someone on my own merits.

Didn't you feel that exact same way
with Mom?

Yes.

Okay, I get it. Sort of.

But...

I thought we were
kind of in this together now, Mal.

Why didn't you ever tell me that?

Oh, Jesus.

Why can't the people in my life
just know how hard it is for me

to say nice things
and stop fucking bothering me about it?

Do you see how hard
everything is for me, Mal?

Yeah, no, it's so tough. It's so, ugh!

Well, none of it matters now
because I'm sure you got the job. But...

you should stay.

I want you to stay.

Thank you.

I am staying.

But you should know
that I didn't get the job.

- What?
- Yeah.

Well, you have to give me names,

'cause I'm gonna be
making some phone calls

and telling them
that they are fucking idiots

and thank them for being fucking idiots.

Thank you.

And I will go with you
to short rib on Friday.

Great.

But don't tell Barry yet.

He's much more generous in bed
when he's depressed.

Before you say anything, I'm not mad.

I know you're under a lot of stress,
so I forgive you.

No!

I reject your forgiveness.

What? No, you can't do that.

I just did. Because I lied to you,
and you should be mad.

Well, I'm sorry.

I just don't think it's healthy
for me to be mad at you right now.

That! That right there.
That's what I don't want.

Well, what do you want?

To be treated like a normal guy
for five minutes.

But instead, you and everyone else
keep rubbing cancer in my face.

- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah? Well, I know for a fact

Coyote snuck my credit card
back into my wallet this week.

And if that isn't rubbing cancer
in my face, I don't know what is.

I'm sorry, Sol.

I just...

wanted one place I could go

and not have to think about it.

Well, you should've led with that!

Not dealing with things

is my preferred way
of dealing with things.

Grace hated that about me.
You hate it about me.

I see the value in it now.

Well, I'm... just trying to figure out
what I'm supposed to do here.

- I'm a little lost.
- Me, too.

Can we be lost together?

Yes.

And I'll try to be better
about telling you what I need.

Okay.

Robert, would you care to attend
my cancer denial group?

What exactly would that entail?

- We eat crappy food...
- Mm-hmm.

...and we don't talk about feelings.

I feel so seen.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can we talk out here for a minute?

Uh, yeah, but if we don't leave soon,
we'll miss our reservation.

I'm not sure you're gonna want to go
after I tell you what I have to tell you.

Oh, well, I'm listening.

I hope I take it as well as you did.

You know how there are those people,
who, when they get older,

they end up needing hearing aids
because it gets harder to hear?

Especially in cool new restaurants?

Yeah, I've heard legend of, yes.

Well, them peeps be me.

I've needed hearing aids for years,
but I was too embarrassed to get them.

Frankie, I-I don't mean to belittle
your experience, but...

why would I not want to go
to dinner with you after that?

Because if I hadn't been
too embarrassed to get them,

I... I would have been able to hear
what you told me the other night.

But I didn't. So I couldn't.

And now I have no idea
what you've tried to tell me.

You're serious?

- You didn't hear me? At all?
- No, not a word.

But on the upside, I can hear you now.

And I want to hear
whatever you have to say.

Okay, here it goes.

Years ago, I told everyone
I went to rehab for drinking.

Oh, that's no problem.

I lived with my son for years in rehab.

I wasn't supposed to,

- but I hid really well.
- Hmm.

But that wasn't the truth.

Oh.

Twist.

Oh, twist.

The truth is, I didn't go to rehab.

That's what I told people
because it sounded a lot cooler

than where I really went.

Where did you really go?

I was asked rather insistently

not to be a part of society
for a little bit.

Well, that's... that's not a big deal.

I did my nickel.
Five hours at Disneyland jail.

No. I spent several months
in a psych hospital.

I had a miserable divorce
that went on forever,

and I did not react well.

I may have mailed my wife's rabbit
to the president.

And they blew him up pretty quick.

Wow, that is heavy.

Yeah.

I guess not everybody can deal with it.

I'm not everybody.

No, you're not.

Oh, the website is updated.

Should be no more confusion now.
It's clearly a toilet.

We've disavowed all the hate groups

that co-opted
the Hashtag Rise Up campaign.

We sent that anti-Semite
the complete works of Elie Wiesel

and Seinfeld.

That's the end of the list.

Now what?

Now everybody hates us.

On the bright side, it seems that,
in this time of extreme polarization,

we've brought all these disparate groups
together in hate against a common enemy.

Yeah, our toilet.

Hmm.

Oh.

This could be a positive tweet.

"Your toilet sucks."

Oh, darlings.

We're sunk.

♪ Oh, now, baby, don't you do it wrong
I did it ♪

♪ I did it ♪

♪ If I crack, won't ya keep it going
I did it ♪

♪ I did it ♪

♪ Break my back, work my bones ♪

♪ If I lie, don't do me wrong ♪

♪ I did it ♪

♪ I did it ♪

♪ Hey-ey ♪

♪ Hey-ey, oh ♪

♪ I did it ♪

♪ Hey-ey, mmm ♪

♪ Hey-ey, ah ♪

♪ Ah, mmm ♪

♪ Hey-ey, oh ♪

Okay, good night!