All language subtitles for Alice.In.Wonderland.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.NET (1)

May I go out now, Miss Simpson?

Has it stopped snowing?

Not quite.

You need to stop waiting for your sister's
return, perhaps she will take you out.

Oh, dear.

Suppose it never stops?

Suppose the man in charge of the
snow has forgotten how to stop it.

Don't you think you had better
work a while at your sampler?

No, thank you.

Oh dear...

Hello, Sir Turtle.

You really must stop that, Your Majesty.

- Stop it, I say!
- Stop what?

The White Queen just knocked over the White
King, she never does look where she's going.

Alice! You know you are not supposed
to play with your father's chess men.

But I wasn't playing.

She deliberately bumped into His
Majesty and knocked him off his feet.

Alice are you sure that that is true.

- Well, I saw it.
- Alice...

Yes, Miss Simpson.

At any rate Your Majesty...

stop bumping into your husband.
You might tidy up a bit.

A white rabbit! All dressed up in a
muffler and overcoat and big woolly suit.

There! It's going into
his nice, warm rabbit hole.

It looks so funny all dressed up.

Alice, I am sure you know
there's no such thing as a rabbit

dressed up in a muffler
and an overcoat.

- You must not say what is not true.
- Well, it wasn't untrue exactly.

I think you had better finish your tea.
There is another egg for you to eat.

Oh I did eat both eggs... but,
I put one of them all back together again.

Alice!

Yes, Miss Simpson.

The looking glass room.

You see Dinah, as soon as I hold you up,

the little girl in the looking glass room,

holds up another cat just like you.

Oh, Dinah! Wouldn't you like to see
what the looking glass house is like?

You know Dinah,
there is a looking glass house.

First there's the room you
can see through the glass.

That's just the same
as our sitting room.

Only the same, goes the other way.

You'd love living there.

But, of course, I don't whether
looking glass milk is good to drink.

Well anyway, then we
would come to the hallway.

It is very like our own
hallway, as far as you can see.

Only it may be quite
different... beyond that.

Oh Dinah...

wouldn't it be nice... if we
could get... through... to...

I can see all of the looking glass
room from here. All, but a bit.

I would so like to see that
little bit, just behind the fireplace.

Do you think, Dinah, that
if I press very, very hard,

and try to look straight
down... that I might...

Why... why...

Well, I knew this part of
the room would be different.

But I do wish the looking glass
chair moved when I moved ours.

Their seems no other way.

If I could only fall
like that all the time.

It can't be English.

Of course, it's the looking glass room.

Why, it's uncle and aunt.

I knew that if you could
really get behind the

picture, that you'd see
the backs of people.

Poor uncle Gilbert, his
trousers are all patched.

My dear niece,

how'd you like being
frame in one pair of

trousers for twenty years
without being patched?

It must be very difficult.

It is. But after all, it's only the
front of the picture that counts really.

- Of course.
- That is all.

Bong-bong-bong-bong 8 o'clock.

What did you say?

Bong-bong-bong-bong 8 o'clock.

But your hand says
twenty minutes to four.

I never let know my left hand
know what my right hand is doing.

This side of the looking
glass has me all confused.

That's because everything
is backward on your side.

Well, I never...

Ma... mama... mama... mama... mama...

- What's that?
- It's the voice of my child.

- Your child!
- Oh!

Oh, my precious lily!
My imperial kitten!

- I must be with my child!
- Let me help you.

- Oh! There!
- Ohhh!

Mama... mama... mama... mama...

There, there my royal pawn.
Ah, poor thing.

Watch out for the volcano!

It blew me up! Be sure you come up
the regular way, don't get blown up!

You'll be hours and hours
getting to the table at that rate,

I'd far better help you.

No, no! The King's men!
Somebody call out the King's men!

I assure my dear, I shall never,
never forget the horror of this moment.

Well, you will forget, unless
you make a memorandum of it.

I could be very happy to remind you.

We will not be reminded by a volcano.

I'm not a volcano.
And I'm not a cyclone either.

Then you are either a
cyclano or a volcone.

Bong, bong, bong, bong,
bong, bong, bong, bong...

and bong.

But what time is that?

I really don't have any idea,
but it's very late.

I must hurry, or shall have
to go back through the looking glass

before I've seen what the
rest of the house is like.

My! What a strange way
to walk about the garden.

The Duchess! The Duchess!

Oh, won't she be savage
if I've kept her waiting.

Oh dear, oh dear, I shall be too late.

Oh my ears and whiskers
how late it is getting.

Well... after such a fall at this,

I shall think nothing of
tumbling down stairs.

I wish Dinah were here.
That's just pretty music.

Oh, dear...

Ouch! Ooo!

Goodbye, dear feet.

Oh, will I ever get to
the beautiful garden?

Oh, Mouse!

Do you know the way out of this pool,
oh, Mouse?

I'm very tired of swimming about here.

Perhaps you don't understand English.
I daresay, you're a French mouse.

Ou est ma chatte? That's
French for "Where is my cat?"

I beg your pardon. I quite
forgot you didn't like cats.

Wait, oh, Mouse!

Oh, Mouse?

Not like cats?
Would you like cats if you were me?

Don't be angry. I wish I
could show you our cat Dinah.

You'd take quite a fancy to her.
She's such a dear quiet thing.

And so good at catching mice.

- Oh, I beg your pardon.
- I hate you! I hate cats!

My whole family hates cats.
Nasty, low, vulgar things!

Oh, dear!

Wait, oh, Mouse!

Cats! Cats!

Cats!

William the Conqueror, whose
cause was favored by the Pope,

was soon submitted to by the English,

who wanted leaders, and had
been of late much accustomed

to usurpation and conquest.

Who are you, please?

I am a dodo.

How do you do?
My name is Alice.

And you are very wet.

I'm afraid I am, but there isn't
much I can do about getting dry.

History is the driest thing I know.
Shall we dry you with history?

I'd be much obliged if you could.

Listen well.

Edwin and Morcar,
the earls of Mercia and Northumbria,

found it advisable to
go with Edgar Atheling

to meet William and
offer him the crown.

William's conduct at first was moderate.
But the insolence of his Normans...

How are you getting on, my dear?

Beautifully, thank you!

- Shall I put you to sleep now?
- No, thank you!

Then you'd best run along, I'm
about to recite some dates.

Yes Sir, thank you. Goodbye.

1585, Shakespeare was born,
1616, Shakespeare died.

Who are you?

I hardly know Sir, just at present.

At least I know who I was
when I got up this morning.

But I must have changed
several times since then.

What do you mean by that?
Explain yourself.

I can't explain myself,
because I'm not myself, you see.

I don't see!

I can't put it more clearly, for I can't
understand it myself to begin with.

And being so many different
sizes in one day is confusing.

It isn't.

Well when some day you turn into a
chrysalis and after that into a butterfly,

you'll find it a bit clear won't you?

Not a bit!

Well, maybe you wouldn't, but it would
certainly feel very queer to me.

You? Who are you?

I think, you ought to
tell me who you are first.

- Why?
- Good day, Sir.

Come back!
I have something important to say.

- Yes?
- Keep you temper.

- Is that all?
- No.

So you think you've changed, do you?

- I'm afraid I have, Sir.
- What size do you want to be?

I should like to be a little
larger Sir, if you wouldn't mind.

Three inches is such
a hard height to be.

I am three inches high!
It's a very good height to be.

I'm sure it must be, Sir, but you see...
I'm not use to it.

You'll get use to it in time.

One side will make you grow taller.
The other side will make you grow shorter.

- One side of... of what?
- The mushroom!

- Which side will make me grow larger?
- The large making side, of course!

I'll take a little of both to make sure.

Oh dear, now I'm too
big again, oh, Caterpillar.

Mr. Caterpillar Sir,
where are you?

Whoever lives here, it would
never do to come upon them in this size.

Why, I should frighten
them out of their wits.

For the Du... Du... Du... Du... Duchess.

An invitation from the
Queen to play croquet.

My compliments to the Queen.

My compliments to the Du...
Du... Du... Du... Duchess.

There's no sort of use in your knocking.

Please Sir, how am I to get in?

I shall sit here till tomorrow.

I'm sorry you were hit,
but how am I to get in?

I shall sit here for days and days.

- But what am I to do?
- Anything you like.

Please watch out for the baby!

She nearly killed the poor little thing!

If everybody minded
their own business,

the world would go around
much faster than it does.

Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes

He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases

Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow!

He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases

Here! You can nurse it a bit, if you like!

Now, I must go and get ready
to play croquet with the Queen.

Don't grunt! That's not at all a
proper way of expressing yourself.

What am I going to do with
this creature when I get it home?

If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,

I'll have nothing more
to do with you. Mind now!

There's no mistake about
you know, you're a pig!

You would have grown up
to be dreadfully ugly child,

but you do make a handsome pig, I think.

Meow...

Why do you grin, oh, cat?

Because I'm a Cheshire cat, that's why.

Well then Cheshire puss, would you tell me,
please, which way I ought to go from here?

That depends a good deal
on where you want to get to?

- I don't care much where.
- Then it doesn't matter which way you go.

So long as I get somewhere.

Oh, you're sure to do that.
If you only walk long enough.

Do you play croquet with the Queen today?

I should like it very much,
but I haven't been invited yet.

You'll see me there.

Must you go so soon?

By the by, what became of the baby?
I'd nearly forgotten to ask.

It turned into a pig.

I thought it would.

- Did you say "pig", or "fig"?
- I said, "pig",

and wish you wouldn't keep
appearing and vanishing so suddenly.

- You make on quite giddy.
- All right.

Don't you wish you can do this.

Well, I've often seen a cat without
a grin, but a grin without a cat?

- No room! - No room! - No room!
- No room! - No room! - No room!

There's plenty of room.

- Have some wine?
- I don't see any wine.

There isn't any.

It wasn't very civil of you to offer it.

Your hair needs cutting.

You should not make
personal remarks, it's very rude.

- Why is a raven like a writing desk?
- I believe I can answer that.

- Do you mean you can find the answer to it?
- Exactly so.

- You should say what you mean.
- What day of the month is it?

- Fourth.
- Ha! Two days wrong!

I told you that butter
wouldn't suit the works!

Oh...
Some crumbs must have got in as well.

Hmm... I put it in with a bread knife.

It was the best butter, you know.

What a funny watch!
It tells the days of the month,

but doesn't
tell what o' clock it is.

Have you guess the riddle yet?

Why... why no, I give it
up, what is the answer?

- I haven't the slightest idea.
- Nor I.

I think you might do something
better with time rather than wasting it

asking a lot of riddles
and have no answer.

Don't you speak about Time. I dare
say you've never even spoken to him.

- Perhaps not.
- Time and I quarreled last March,

Just before he went mad,
you know.

It was at a great concert
given by the Queen of Hearts,

and I had to sing "Twinkle twinkle
little bat, how I wonder what you're at."

You know the song perhaps?

- I've heard something like it.
- It goes on, you know, like this,

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder what you're at

Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.

Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.

Twinkle... twinkle... twinkle... twink...

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder what you're at

Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky

Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky

Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,

twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,

twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,

twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle...

Well, I'd hardy finished the first
verse when the Queen bawled,

"He's murdering the
Time! Off with his head!"

And ever since that, he
won't do a thing I ask.

It's always six o'clock now.

Oh, is that why all the
tea things are out here?

Yes, that's it.

It's always tea time and we have no
time to wash the tea things in between.

Take some more tea?

I haven't had any yet,
so I can't take more.

You mean you can't take less, it is
very easy to take more than nothing.

I want a clean cup.

It's the stupidest tea party
I ever was at in all my life.

Very curious.

Would you please tell me why
are you painting those roses?

Well, as a matter of fact, Miss,

this tree should have
been a red rose tree

and we put in a
white one by mistake,

and if the Queen should find
out, we'll all have our heads cut off.

So you see, Miss, we're doing our
best before she comes back to paint...

- The Queen! -The Queen! -The Queen!

Come, come, get up!

Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts!

Her Majesty, the Queen!

Off with his head!

Off with his head!

What is your name child?

My name is Alice, so please Your Majesty.

Off with her head!
Off with her head!

- Nonsense!
- Off with her head!

- Off with her...
- Consider my dear, she's only a child.

Off with her head!
Off with her head!

And besides, this is
the executioner�s day off.

Oh, it is, is it?
Well, they should lose their heads for this!

- Can you play croquet?
- Yes.

Then, let the game begin at once!

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Must I behead you all?

Here, take it. Play.

Off with some heads!

You're pointing the
wrong way for a mallet!

- Pardon me. My back hurts.
- Well!

Don't look at me. I'm
as mixed up as you are!

This game's slowing up.
Off with some heads!

Where are my victims?

Search the hedges!
Trash the bushes! Shake the trees!

How glad I am to see you
again, you dear old thing.

How did you like your game?

- Well, it was very exciting.
- Of course it is.

And the moral of that is,
"Be what you would like to be."

Or to put it more simply,

"Never imagine yourself
not to be otherwise"

"than what it might
appear to others that what"

"you were or might have been"

"wasn't otherwise than
what you had been"

"would have appeared to
them to be otherwise."

I should understand that
better if it were written down.

I can't quite follow it as you say it.

Oh, that's nothing to
what I could say, if I chose.

And the moral of that is...

It's a fine day, Your Majesty.

I give you fair warning.
Either you or your head must be off at once!

Please Your Majesty,
could you make it go away?

Queen! Queen!
Where are you Queen?

- What fun! - What is the fun? - The queen!

They never really executes
anybody she condemns, you know.

The King...
the King pardons everybody.

I'm very happy to know that, I'm sure.

Have you seen Mock Turtle yet?

Why... why, no. I don't even
know what a Mock Turtle is.

It's what mock turtle
soup's made from.

Come here will you,
Mock Turtle, old thing.

- What is his sorrow?
- It's all his fancy.

- He hasn't got no sorrow.
- No sorrow indeed...

Mine are the sorrows
of a sorrowful sorrow.

Mine are the woes of a woeful woe.
Mine are the...

This here young lady,
she wants for to know your history, she do.

I'll tell it her.

Sit down both of you,

but don't speak a word
till I've finished.

Once, I was a real turtle.

Oh, dear!

Oh, dear!

When we were little,
we went to school in the sea.

The Master was an old turtle.

We use to call him Tortoise.

Why did you call him
Tortoise, if he wasn't one?

We called him Tortoise
because he taught us.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself
for asking such a simple question.

We went to school in the sea,
though you mayn't believe it.

I never said I didn't.

- You did.
- Hold your tongue!

We had the best of educations.

In fact, we went to school every day.

I've been to a day school, too.
We learned French and music.

- I only took the regular course.
- What was that?

Reeling and writhing to begin with.

And then the different
branches of arithmetic,

ambition, distraction,
uglification and derision.

And how many hours a
day did you do lessons?

Ten hours the first day
and nine the next and so on.

That's why they're called lessons,
because they lessen from day to day.

Then the eleventh day
must have been a holiday?

- Of course.
- And how did you manage on the twelfth day?

Oh well, that's enough about lessons.

Shall we play games...

or shall the Mock Turtle sing?

Oh, a song please, if the
Mock Turtle would be so kind.

No accounting for tastes.

Sing her "Turtle Soup",
will you, old fellow?

In a moment...

Beautiful soup Who cares for
fish, Game, or any other dish?

Who would not give all else for two
Pennyworth only of beautiful soup?

Pennyworth only of beautiful soup,
beautiful soup, beautiful soup.

Soup of the evening,
beautiful soup.

Beautiful, beau...

Faster! Faster!

Faster! Faster! Faster! Much faster!

- Are we nearly there?
- Nearly there?

Why, we past it 10 minutes ago.

Faster!

It's all marked out like a chessboard.

Of course it�s a chessboard,

life is a chessboard, and
you are a Queen's pawn.

You will go immediately to the fourth square,
which you should reach in exactly no time.

- Did you remark something?
- I didn't know had to make one just then.

You should have told me how
kind it is of me to tell you all this.

No questions? Very well, then, no answers.

Open your mouth wide when you speak,

and always speak in French if you
can't think of the English for something.

Turn out your toes as you walk and
always say "Your Majesty", and so forth.

If you think we are waxworks,
you ought to pay, you know.

Wax works weren't made to be
looked at for nothing. No how.

Contrary-wise, if you think
we're alive, you ought to speak.

I'm sure I'm very sorry.

I was wondering which is the best way out
of this wood. Would you tell me please?

You've begun wrong.
The first thing in a visit is to say,

"How do you do?" And shake hands.

I hope you're not much tired.

Why, no how,
but thank you very much for asking.

So much obliged.
You like poetry?

Yes, pretty well. Some poetry.

But, would you tell me first which
road leads out of the woods?

What shall I repeat to her?

The Walrus and the
Carpenter is the longest.

The sun was shining on the
sea Shining with all his might

He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright

And this was odd, because
it was The middle of the night

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand

They wept like anything to
see Such quantities of sand

If this were only cleared away,
they said, it would be grand

If seven maids with seven
mops Swept it for half a year

Do you suppose, the Walrus
said That they could get it clear?

I doubt it, said the Carpenter
And shed a bitter tear

Oh, oyster come and walk
with us The Walrus did beseech

A pleasant walk, a pleasant
talk Along the briny beach

They could not do with more than
four To give a hand to each

The eldest Oyster looked at
him But never a word he said

The eldest Oyster winked his
eye And shook his heavy head

Meaning to say he did not
choose To leave the oyster bed

But younger oysters hurried
up, All eager for the treat

Their coats were brushed Their faces
washed Their shoes were clean and neat

And this was odd, because,
you know, They hadn't any feet

The time has come, the Walrus
said, To talk of many things

Of shoes and ships and
sealing wax Of cabbages and kings

And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings

A loaf of bread, the Walrus
said Is what we chiefly need

Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed

Now if you're ready, Oysters
dear We can begin to feed

But not on us, the Oysters
cried Turning a little blue

After such kindness that
would be A dismal thing to do

The night is fine, the Walrus
said Do you admire the view?

I weep for you, the Walrus
said I deeply sympathize

With sobs and tears he sorted
out Those of the largest size

Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes

Oh oyster, said the Carpenter,
You've had a pleasant run

Shall we be trotting home again?
But answer came there none

And this was scarcely odd
because They'd eaten every one

Well! They were both
very unpleasant characters.

But at any rate I'd better
be leaving the wood,

because it's really
getting very dark.

- Well, Goodbye.
- Look! Do you see that?

- It's only a rattle.
- No!

Only an old rattle,
quite old and broken.

I knew it was.
It's spoiled, of course.

My nice new rattle.

Of course you agree to have a battle?

I suppose so.

Only she must help us
to dress up, you know.

Of course! Tweedledee and
Tweedledum Agreed to have a battle

For Tweedledee said Tweedledum
Had spoiled his nice new rattle

Just then down flew a monstrous
crow As black as a tar-barrel

Which frightened both the heroes
so They quite forgot their quarrel.

I hope you're a good at
pinning and tying string.

All this is gotta go on,
somehow or other.

This is to keep my head
from being cut off,

You know one of the most
serious things that can

happen to one in a battle is
to get one's head cut off.

- Do I look very pale?
- Well, yes a little.

I... I'm very brave generally,
only today I happen to have a headache.

Well, I've got a toothache.
I'm far worse than you.

Then you'd both better
not fight today.

Oh, we must have a bit of a fight.

Let's fight till 6:00
and then have dinner.

There's only one sword, but you
can have the umbrella. It's sharper.

Only we must begin quick.
It's getting very, very dark.

And darker and darker.

What a thick black cloud
that is, and how fast it comes.

Why, I do believe it's got wings.

- It's the crow!
- Crow!

May I put your shawl straight for you?

I don't know what's the matter with it.
It's out of temper, I think.

I've pinned it here, and I've pinned
it there, but there's no pleasing it.

It can't go on straight, you
know, if you put all the pins on one side.

And, dear me,
what a state your hair is in.

Oh, the brush has got...
entangled in it.

And I lost the comb yesterday.

There... now you look better!

My finger's bleeding.

What's the matter? Have
you pricked your finger?

I haven't pricked it
yet, but I soon shall.

When do you expect to do it?

Oh, when I fasten my shawl again,
the broach will come undone.

Watch out,
you're holding it all wrong.

Now you understand the
way things happen here.

But why don't you scream now?

Why, I've done all the screaming already.

Now, what would be the
good of doing it all over again?

I suppose so.
Well, it's a bit lighter now.

I'm glad that crow is gone.

I hope your finger's better now?

Much better.

Better, better, better.

Bah... bah...

- What is it you want to buy?
- I should like to buy an egg, please.

I never put things
into people's hands.

That would never do.

You get it for yourself.

What a strange egg.

I keeps growing much
faster than it should!

Curiouser and curiouser!

It's bigger than a chicken!

Why, it... it's Humpty-Dumpty!

Don't stand there staring
at me as if I were an egg.

Tell me your name and your business.

My name is Alice.

It's a stupid enough
name. What does it mean?

Must a name mean something?

Of course it must, my
name means the shape I am...

and a right handsome shape it is.

With your name,
you might be any shape.

- Why do you sit out here all alone?
- Because there's nobody with me.

Did you think I couldn't answer that?
Ask another.

Don't you think you'd
be safer on the ground?

That wall is so very narrow.

Of course I don't think so.
Why, if ever I did fall off,

which there's no chance of,

but if I did,

If I did fall,
the King has promised me...

To send all his horses
and all his men.

Ah, so you know.
All his horses and all his men.

They'd pick me up again
in a minute, they would.

However, this conversation
is going on a little too fast.

Let's go back to the
last remark but one.

I'm afraid I can't quite remember it.

Ah, in that case we start afresh, and
it's my turn to choose a subject.

How old did you say you were?

Twelve years and four months.

Wrong. You never said a word like it.

I though you meant "How old are you?"

If I'd meant that,
I'd have said that.

Twelve years and four months.
An uncomfortable sort of age.

Now my advice, would have been to leave
off at twelve, but it's too late now.

What a beautiful belt.

Or is it a beautiful collar?

It is a most provoking thing when
a person doesn't know a collar from a belt.

I know it's very ignorant of me.

It's a collar, child, and a
beautiful one, as you say.

It's a present from the
White King and Queen.

Is it really?

They gave it me,
for an un-birthday present.

I beg your pardon?

I'm not offended, and it
isn't respectable to beg.

I mean, what is an un-birthday present?

A present given when it
isn't your birthday, of course.

I like birthday presents best.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

How many days are there in a year?

Three hundred and sixty-five.

- And how many birthdays have you?
- One.

And if you take from 365, what remains?

Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.

Well then, there are three
hundred and sixty-four days

when you might get
un-birthday presents.

Certainly.

And only one for birthday presents.
There's glory for you!

I don't know what you mean by "glory".

Of course you don't, till I tell you.

I meant there's a nice
knock-down argument for you.

But "glory" doesn't mean that.

When I use a word, it means
just what I choose it to mean,

neither more or less.

The question is whether you can
make words mean different things.

The question is, which is to be
master, you or the word? That's all.

However, I can manage the whole lot.

Impenetrability, that's what I say.

Would you tell me,
please, what that means?

I meant by impenetrability that
we've had enough of the subject,

and it would be just as well if you would
mention what you mean to do next,

as I suppose you don't mean to
stop here all the rest of your life.

Fancy it meaning all that. You seem
very clever at explaining words, Sir.

Would you kindly tell me the meaning
of a poem called Jabberwocky?

- I read it a long time ago.
- I can, but I won't. That's all. Goodbye.

Goodbye, till we meet again.

I shouldn't know you if we did
meet, you're so exactly like other people.

The face is what one generally goes by.

That's just it. Your face is
the same as everybody's.

The two eyes, so. Nose in
the middle, mouth under.

Now if your two eyes were
on the same side of the nose,

or the mouth on the top,
that would be some help.

- It wouldn't look nice.
- Wait till you've tried.

Watch out!

Help! Help! I'm falling! Tell the King!

Tell him to bring his
horses and his men! Help!

What's happened?

We ran into each other, Your Majesty.

Good. I rather fancied
something like that had happened.

Oh, Your Majesty,
Humpty-Dumpty fell off the wall.

I know, I know. Four thousand two hundred
and seven of my soldiers are on the way.

Two without horses!

If all this King's horses and men can't
put him back together again, nobody can.

I'm glad Humpty will be
all right. I was worried.

Well, don't be.

Look along the road, and tell me if you
can see either of my three messengers.

I see nobody on the road.

Oh, I only wish I had such eyes.

To be able to see nobody,
and at that distance.

Oh! It's too, too bad.

Can I help you, Sir?

- On or off?
- You are on.

- Oh, in a short time I shall be off again.
- I'm so sorry.

Are you the King's messenger?

I'm the White Knight.

I see you're admiring my little box.

It's my own invention, to keep...

to keep clothes and sandwiches in.

You see, I carry it upside down
so... so the rain can't come in.

But the things can get out.
Do you know the lid is open?

Then if all the things must have fallen
out, the box is no use without them.

- Can you guess why I did that?
- I can't imagine.

In hopes some bees may make a nest in it.
Then I should get the honey.

But you've got a beehive, or
something like one, fastened to the saddle.

It's a very good beehive
too, one of the best kind,

but not a single bee
has come near it yet.

That other thing's a mousetrap.

I suppose the mice keep the bees out or the
bees keep the mice out. I don't know which.

It isn't very likely there would
be any mice on the horse's back.

Not very likely, perhaps,

but I don't choose to have
them running all about.

You see,
I'm well provided for everything.

That's the reason the horse has
all those anklets round his feet.

What are they for?

To guard against the bites of sharks.
It's my own invention.

But let's go on, I'll go with
you to the edge of the woods.

I hope you've got your
hair well-fastened on.

- Only the usual way.
- That's hardly enough.

You see, the wind is so strong here.
It's strong as soup.

Have you invented a plan for
keeping the hair from being blown off?

Not yet. But I have a plan for
keeping the hair from falling off.

I should like to hear it, very much.

First, you take an upright stick, then you
make your hair creep up it like a wine.

Now the reason hair falls off
is because it hangs down.

Things never fall upwards, you know.

It's my own invention.

You may try it if you like.

I'm a great hand at inventing things.

Now, I daresay you noticed,
that last time you picked me up,

- I was looking rather thoughtful.
- You were a little grave.

Well, just then I was inventing a
new way of getting over a gate.

- Would you like to hear it?
- Very much indeed.

Well, I'll tell you how
I came to think of it.

I said to myself,

"The only difficulty is with the feet.
The head's high enough already."

Now, first I put my head on the top of
the gate, then my head's high enough,

then I stand on my head, then my
feet are high enough. Then I'm over.

Sir Knight!

If there were only a gate down here,
I'd be in excellent position to cross it.

How can you go on talking so
quietly with your head in a ditch?

What does it matter where
my body happens to be?

My mind goes on working all the same.

In fact, I once invented a new
pudding during the meat course.

In time to have it cooked
for the next course?

That was quick work.

Well, not the next course.

In fact, I don't believe that
pudding ever was cooked.

What did you mean it to be made of?

- Well, it began with blotting paper.
- That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid.

Not very nice alone, but imagine how good
would it be to be mixed with other things,

such as gunpowder and sealing wax.

And here I must leave you.
This is the end of the wood.

You've only a few yards to go.

Down the hill, across that little brook,
and then you'll be a queen.

At last.

But you'll stay and see me off first?
I shan't be long. You'll wait?

- Of course I'll wait.
- I think it'll encourage me.

Thank you very much for
coming so far out of your way.

For that, I shall expect you
to cry a good deal as I go.

The poor, dear Knight,
he's the nicest person yet.

Well, here I am.

What's this?

A crown!
A golden crown!

I'm a Queen!
I'm a Queen!

How dare you say that you're a Queen?
What right have you to call yourself so?

You can't be a Queen, you know,
till you've passed the proper examination,

and the sooner we begin it, the better.

Be seated.

Yes, Your Majesty.

- I'm ready Your Majesties.
- Can you do addition?

Now, what's one and one and one and one and
one and one and one and one and one and one?

- I don't know. I lost count.
- She can't do addition.

Can you answer any useful
questions? How is bread made?

I know that.
You take some flour...

Where do you pick the flower,
in a garden or in the hedges?

It isn't picked at all, it's ground.

But how many acres of ground? I wish
you wouldn't leave out so many things!

- Oh dear!
- You know any Languages?

What's the French for "fiddle-de-dee"?

- Fiddle-de-dee's not English.
- Who ever said it was?

Well, if you'll tell me what language
"fiddle-de-dee" is,

I'll tell you the French for it.

Queens never make bargains.

I'm so sleepy.

Ah, she's tired, poor thing.

So smooth her hair,

lend her your nightcap and
sing her a soothing lullaby.

I haven't any nightcap, and I
don't know any soothing lullabies.

I'll have to do it myself.

Hush-a-bye lady, in Alice's lap

When the feast's ready,
we've time for a nap

When the feast's over
we'll go to the ball

Red Queen and White
Queen and Alice and all

Now that you know the
words, sing it through to me.

I'm sleepy, too.

Now what am I to do?

- Do wake up.
-To the looking-glass world

It was Alice that said,

"I've a scepter in hand"

"I've a crown on my head"

- Let the Looking Glass...
- No admittance until week after next.

Why... why, how dare you!

Fill up the glasses
as quick as you can

And sprinkle the table
with buttons and bran

Put cats in the coffee,
and mice in the tea

And welcome Queen
Alice with 30 times three

Put cats in the coffee,
and mice in the tea

And welcome Queen
Alice with 30 times three

Then put in the glasses,
molasses and ink

And anything else
that is pleasant to drink

Mix sand with the cider
And wool with the wine

And welcome Queen
Alice with 90 times nine

Mix sand with the cider,
And wool with the wine

And welcome Queen Alice with 90 times
90 times 90 times nine

You've missed the soup
and the fish! Lift the roast!

You seem a little shy. Let me
introduce you to that leg of mutton.

Alice, Leg of Mutton. Leg of Mutton, Alice.

How do you do?

May I give you a slice?

Certainly not! It isn't etiquette to cut
somebody you've been introduced to.

Remove the roast!

Please don't introduce the Pudding,
or we shall get no dinner at all.

May I give you some?

Pudding, Alice. Alice, Pudding.

What impertinence!

How you'd like it, if I were to cut
a slice out of you... you creature?

Make a remark, it's ridiculous to leave
all the conversation to the Pudding.

- Well...
- You'd better prepare.

We are about to drink to your health.

Queen Alice's health!
Queen Alice's health!

Queen Alice! Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

She ought to make a speech.

- A speech!
- So she ought!

- A speech! - A speech! - A speech! - A speech!

Speech! Speech! Queen Alice! Speech!

I rise to return thanks.

Take Care! Something's going to
happen! Something's going to happen!

Here I am.

There was a looking glass room,
and you were the Red Queen.

There was a whole looking glass country.