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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,500 Ow.What are you doing? 2 00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:10,050 What do you mean,what am I doing? I'm playing footsie 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,850 Ok,footsie would imply something cute and playful 4 00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:18,770 You're sawing through my Achilles tendon with your big toenail 5 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:24,280 Well,it¡¯s fun.I it¡¯s frisky and.. 6 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,260 might I even say,a little naughty 7 00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:36,080 Ok.No offense,but if you're trying to get things started here, 8 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,740 your feet probably shouldn't be playing a role 9 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,970 I mean,you want me thinking about sex,right? 10 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:47,430 Not "how do I escape this razor-clawed creature from the forest." 11 00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:50,780 All right I it¡¯s just that,you know.. 12 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,710 -it's been a few weeks,and- -what ?! 13 00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:58,000 No.No,what about the day that I came home from the market 14 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,170 after discovering that they now make sloppy Joes in a squirt bottle? 15 00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:05,190 That...led to some pretty hot action 16 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,090 Yeah,but that was¡ª that was like a month ago 17 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,330 -I t was? -Yeah.Listen,trust me 18 00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:14,730 I don't quickly forget the day where I have sex with you plus squeezable meat 19 00:01:16,790 --> 00:01:20,730 I¡¯m going to say thank you, although I¡¯m not sure why 20 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,580 All right.Let's do this 21 00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:29,680 Excuse me 22 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,240 What was that? 23 00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:34,840 What?I it¡¯s nothing. I¡¯m just working on a little cold,that's all 24 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,070 Yeah,ok.Look,um.. 25 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:50,180 see...here's the thing. I -- I¡¯m doing this risk reward analys is in my head, 26 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:55,950 and I don't know.I mean,already I¡¯m picturing it's me having sex with, 27 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:59,740 like,1,000 of those tiny animated germ guys from the commercials¡ª 28 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:02,850 you know,with the helmets and the pickaxes And I -- I just,I .. 29 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,640 I think those guys are for foot fungus 30 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,690 Yeah.Well,either way,I¡¯m out 31 00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:18,440 Til Death 1x15 32 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:21,710 Ok,from downtown for the win! 33 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,270 Man,there is nothing more electric than high schoolgirls' basketball 34 00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:32,640 We should probably keep it down 35 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:36,030 I don't want Cofeld's wife coming down here and yelling at us like last time 36 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,250 Oh,no worries.She's not even here 37 00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:42,480 She's ata bridal shower for her sister's Wedding or,should I say,"civil union." 38 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,380 What does that mean? 39 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,550 It means Denise is marrying Janet 40 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:50,690 Thanksgiving is about to get a whole lot easier for the only black guy in the family 41 00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:54,170 So,how does that work? Like,one of them has a bridal shower, 42 00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,570 and then the other one has, like,a bachelor party? 43 00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:59,230 Do gay people even have bachelor parties? 44 00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,850 I didn't have a bachelor party 45 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,130 Question asked,question answered 46 00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:09,440 You didn't have a bachelor party? What happened? 47 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,000 Nothing.Just discussed it with Steph, 48 00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,460 and we decided I¡¯m not really a bachelor-party kind of guy 49 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,970 Hold--hold on. You mean,Steph told you you're not a bachelor-party kind of guy 50 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:21,150 Every guy is a bachelor-party kind of guy 51 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,490 I it¡¯s a last taste of freedom before they cut off our cranberries and put ¡¯em in a jar 52 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,270 Yeah.Mine was crazy 53 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:34,290 We rented an R.V.And my brother got girls who knew gymnastics and stuff 54 00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,920 You think that was crazy? 55 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:44,830 I¡¯m still wanted in the state of Delaware 56 00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:49,200 I made out with a dude 57 00:03:57,710 --> 00:03:59,500 Too bad those days are over 58 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,350 I don't know 59 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:12,150 We have someone here in our midst who never had a shot ata bachelor party 60 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,430 What do you say we right some wrongs? 61 00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:17,120 Yeah,yeah I like what I¡¯m hearing 62 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:21,060 And I vote for an activity that include snaked girls 63 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,180 Or sea world 64 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,680 -I like my idea -All right 65 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,880 This is what we'll do.We'll get little dressed up,we'll grab a few drinks, 66 00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:34,800 and,there's three of us here, so we could split the limo 67 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,330 -There's four of us -What? 68 00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:41,070 Oh!Right,yeah Three¡¯s...there¡¯s four of us 69 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,350 I wasn¡¯t counting myself 70 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,190 So,what do you say? 71 00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:47,990 Saturday night we'll do Jeff¡¯s bachelor party 72 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,500 Guys,uh,can I point outdone little flaw here? 73 00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:52,710 I¡¯m not a bachelor I¡¯m already married 74 00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,650 There's no way Steph would allow me to do this 75 00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:57,760 And that¡¯s exactly why you do it You have to stand up for yourself 76 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,430 Your wife doesn't decide whether you're alwed to see other naked women 77 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,960 Actually,I think she does 78 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:09,250 I f it's noting our vows, I¡¯m pretty sureit was implied 79 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:12,960 You know what ?I give up Ok?Just forget it 80 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:16,880 Forgot that I was talking to Mr " I respectand love my wife" here 81 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,200 I it¡¯s--it¡¯s...really sad 82 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:23,000 So sad.Sad,sad,sad 83 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,760 Oh,wait,wait,wait Ok,all right 84 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,400 You guys want to throw me a bachelor party-- 85 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,850 Let's have a bachelor party.All right 86 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,510 I¡¯m not gonna let my wife tell me what I can and can't do 87 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,600 You know what ? No.You're not doing this 88 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,340 Oh--you can't just say no! 89 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,340 But we've discussed this You're not a bachelor-party guy 90 00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:42,360 No,no,no.You said I¡¯m not a bachelor-party kind of guy 91 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,520 and guess what?You don't get to decide 92 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,790 whether or not I¡¯m allowed to see other naked women 93 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,780 Uh,I sure as hell do 94 00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:52,780 Yeah,I thought that sounded wrong 95 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:57,080 Come on!Let me have a bachelor party.Please?! 96 00:05:58,550 --> 00:05:59,810 Ok,fine 97 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,470 Have your post-wedding bachelor party 98 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:06,180 -Have a great time. -I will 99 00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:09,100 So--so,you're ok with it 100 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:14,090 Hey,can I get you a snack? 101 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,470 I love you 102 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,690 Ok,I¡¯m heading out 103 00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:28,760 How's the cold?How's my little trooper doing? 104 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,400 I think I¡¯m dying 105 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,490 Oh,this one with the humor 106 00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:39,190 Fantastic.Ok,look¡ª I got you a little pick-me-up 107 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:43,360 And it¡¯s with aloe, so your face won¡¯t bleed anymore,ok? 108 00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:46,720 All right.I gotta get going- get this thing over with 109 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,640 Yeah,I¡¯m sure you're dreading going out and meeting a different women named cinnamon 110 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,540 Well,listen,tonight is for Jeff 111 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,050 And I just don't want to disappoint the youngster 112 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,190 Oh,please I heard you in the shower singing, 113 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,480 whoomp!There it is 114 00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:06,720 All right,listen.I know on the outside, 115 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,330 it probably looks like this is the most excited I¡¯ve been in 3 years. But.. 116 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:16,880 on the inside,there is no place I would rather bethanright next to you 117 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,440 So,just say the word,and I won't go 118 00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:21,360 Don't go 119 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,910 You're serious? 120 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:30,130 -No.Go! -Okey-dokey.That's my gal! 121 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,210 Gentlemen,here we are--flesh gardens 122 00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:42,890 Breathe it in,boys 123 00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:49,620 I know on the outside,it probably looks like this is the most excited I¡¯ve been in 3 years 124 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,340 This is great 125 00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:55,180 This is totally worth the constant, echoey silence that is now my marriage 126 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,360 Ok.You know what ? 127 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,040 Time to check the wife talking the lobby,ok? 128 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,350 And what do you say we lose the Indiana Jones hat? 129 00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:05,310 No,Eddie,Eddie,this? This is my party hat 130 00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:08,020 You would not believe the kind of action I¡¯ve seen in this hat 131 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,650 Uh-huh.Didany of it involve running from a giant boulder? 132 00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:15,120 No.I f you must know,I wore this hat-- 133 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,080 at the end of Casablanca when you had to get on that plane? 134 00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,370 Just forget it,ok? 135 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:22,770 And don't mess withy party hat 136 00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,020 I haven't seen a naked lady besides my wife in 20 years.. 137 00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:29,560 except on that dirty deck of cards I managed to save from childhood 138 00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:32,220 I¡¯m extremely terrified right now 139 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:37,090 10 bucks.Ok,gentlemen No touching, groping,fondlingof the dancers 140 00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:40,680 I f youdisrespectthe ladies, you will be removed by me 141 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,280 I believe that,my brother Come on. Give me a little-- 142 00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:50,710 All right I guess this isn't gonna happen 143 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,260 Ok,let's,uh...Let's go 144 00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,790 Gentlemen,wedding rings off 145 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,770 All--all right.You know what? Let's go sit down.Right in front 146 00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,010 Uh,anybody bring any singles? 147 00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:15,200 I didn't know what these gals expect in tips, so,I went to the bank and took out $700 in ones 148 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:17,990 Yeah,I think you¡¯re good Ok,sit down 149 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,630 Oh,hey!What's up,fellas? 150 00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:22,280 -Hey,there he is!Hey! -Hey,Cofeld 151 00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:24,760 Ooh,let's get the party started! 152 00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,880 Hey,guys! 153 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:30,940 You brought your wife?! 154 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,760 Oh,yeah,man It turns out she¡¯s into this kind of stuff 155 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,090 She's cool,man.She's cool! 156 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,500 Oh,my god,Eddie That one looks just like your daughter 157 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,080 Oh,please,god,no 158 00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:02,560 Come in! 159 00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:09,410 -Hi,joy. -Hey 160 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,340 Jeff saidyou weren'tfeeling well, so I thought I¡¯d pop over and see how you're doing 161 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,210 Oh,that's nice.Um.. 162 00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,940 pretty bad,yeah.Pretty contagious 163 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,200 Doctor said that A thing like this could just,you know,leap off of meand,grr! 164 00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,810 Attack anybodywho's around me.So 165 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,100 oh!I¡¯m not worried about me 166 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,290 The most important thingis we get you healthy 167 00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:34,380 I have some great homeopathicre medies here Oh,no,no.I¡¯m good 168 00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:38,790 I was just about totake enough cold medicine to start a meth labin my belly 169 00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:41,430 Yeah 170 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:46,290 You could take what all the big pharm aceutical companies have trained you to take, 171 00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:51,130 or you couldlet nature heal you and put this stickup your nose 172 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,440 As soothing asthat sounds,um, 173 00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:06,090 I¡¯m not reallythe greatest sick person 174 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:11,900 So,I hope that you'll forgive me for what I¡¯m about to say--get out 175 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,270 Ok 176 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:17,670 I was just...feeling a little bummed about 177 00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:22,080 Jeff¡¯s skeevybachelor partyand I thought I couldcome over here and take careof you 178 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:24,840 But...feel better 179 00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:28,130 Wait.Come back 180 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,120 You can't letthis thing with Jeff bother you 181 00:11:31,430 --> 00:11:34,430 Ohh.Oh,why does he have to go to a strip club? 182 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,730 We have a great sex life 183 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,460 I¡¯ll do anything 184 00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:42,690 I mean...anything 185 00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,710 That's nice,honey 186 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:51,890 But Jeff is just like Eddie. He's a good guy 187 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:58,480 But even good guys occasionally feel the need to go out and act like complete dumb-asses 188 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,490 Come on.You've known Jeff a long time He must have done something like this before 189 00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:04,570 Well,one time he had too much sugar 190 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:08,630 and said some pretty nasty things about Ronald Reagan in front of my grandpa 191 00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:16,600 The point is--that,at the end of the day, the worst thing that could happen is that 192 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:22,940 Jeff gets called upon stage,a naked girl rides him like a horse,and they run off and start a new life together 193 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,730 Kidding! 194 00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:27,240 I¡¯m kidding 195 00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:35,690 Yeah,I guess you¡¯re right 196 00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:38,260 Bless you Thank you 197 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,280 You know,I -- I really wish you'd try some of this stuff 198 00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:45,030 I got this special tea from a lakot a Indian shaman 199 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,950 I it¡¯s good stuff.. 200 00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:52,330 like,not legal outside the Sioux nation good 201 00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,880 I it¡¯ll bend your head, man 202 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,310 You get the tea going I¡¯ll put on dark side of the moon 203 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,660 I just don¡¯t understand why anybody likes this I mean, this is not erotic 204 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,580 I tsar billion-dollar industry Somebody likes something 205 00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:29,820 This is my bachelor party,people Can we focus on the ladies? 206 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,820 All right,thank you.That was pleasant Now my hair's wet 207 00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:37,590 Eddie,it's just water 208 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,480 What do you mean it's just--my whole head is wetland I¡¯m sitting under a vent 209 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,420 Knock,knock.Who's there? Pneumonia Come on in! 210 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:46,890 Here ya go 211 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,650 Get yourself somemore comfortable shoes 212 00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:56,650 Ma'am,excuse me,but I think there should be a posting or some kind of warning if there's gonna be water in your act 213 00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,200 So,it's your bachelor party 214 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,830 When are you getting married? 215 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:05,210 Oh,I actually got married 6 months ago This is like a do over 216 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,080 Isn't the whole point of a bachelor party to still be a bachel? 217 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,710 Could you switch places with the little bo peep? 218 00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:15,180 She strikes me as less judgmental 219 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,290 Hey there,handsome 220 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:20,380 I¡¯m not comfortable here I can tell 221 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,710 Maybe you should take a little break and come with me to the champagne room 222 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:27,060 I s therechampagnethere? There's anything you want there 223 00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,200 That sounds classy 224 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,920 Excuse me--Laura,Laura? 225 00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:36,850 Oh,my god!Nicole! 226 00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,630 You two know each other? 227 00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:41,440 Yeah We did a mommy & me class together 228 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,780 Ok,this isn't good 229 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:48,260 So,how'slittle Michael? Oh,he's great 230 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:52,620 How is your baby boy? Oh,not a baby anymore 231 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:59,050 This is little Joshua and his grandfather taking a bath together 232 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,630 Adorable! 233 00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,090 So,how did things work out with that breast pump? 234 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,180 not so good 235 00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:08,800 You'll seein a minute 236 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,140 Ohh.Ok,uh,good night,everybody 237 00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:13,540 Come on,let's go We're leaving? 238 00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,290 I was just starting to enjoy this! Well,come on,honey 239 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,810 We'll talk all about it in the minivan 240 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,670 Thanks fo rbringing her by 241 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,970 God,I love this tea 242 00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:33,830 I t makes me feel...unconquerable 243 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,270 Yeah 244 00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:43,520 Hey,do you seethat hawkon top of the tv? 245 00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:48,360 No 246 00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:50,560 Wait.. 247 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,050 no 248 00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,860 I gotta be honest,Steph 249 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:08,830 I it¡¯s a little surprisingthat someone like youwould have tea like this 250 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:15,780 it's no big deal,really Just... after my freshman year of college, 251 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:19,960 I was hitchh iking through south dakota when I met thisnative american guy 252 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,890 He was super hot 253 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,940 Like,long,black hair. and really in shape 254 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,570 But not from the gym¡ª just from,like,climbing stuff 255 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,830 Anyway,we spent a pretty wild couple of weeks camping out 256 00:16:40,990 --> 00:16:43,600 and before he left,he gave me these herbs 257 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,790 It didn't work out,but.. 258 00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,440 Every couple of months, I mail him 100 bucks 259 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,440 and he sends me more in a hollowed-out teddy bear 260 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:06,170 wow..And to think--when I first met you, I thought you werea nitwit 261 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,030 Yeah 262 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,170 And I thoughtyou werea real bitch 263 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,780 You know what else? What?Ha ha ha! 264 00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:24,240 Check out this tattoo 265 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,590 Ha ha!Oh 266 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:30,860 Jeff thinks it's the native American symbol for serenity 267 00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:34,260 But it eally means"john thunderclaw." 268 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,330 Oh,my god.There goes the hawk 269 00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:57,310 I¡¯m actuallystarting to findstripping boring 270 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,240 I¡¯ve counted6 girls dancing nude with nicotine patches 271 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,770 Eddie,can you not talk about what¡¯s wrong with the strippers? 272 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:08,480 I don't ever want tohear again, "Hey,look.That one'sbalding." 273 00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:12,280 Heh.Oh,oh,look! Something very naughtyis happening withy hat! 274 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:15,970 Maybe she cangive it to her friend and cover the bald spot 275 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:21,860 Oh,my god 276 00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:23,290 Stan,what happened? 277 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,490 There's no champagne inthe champagne room.. 278 00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,590 only shame 279 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,350 I¡¯m gonna walk overto the airport to see if they have a 24-hour chapel 280 00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:37,940 Well,I guess we shouldcall it a night,too What? 281 00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:41,500 Eddie--the night's justgetting started! Hey,man,hey,what about--bachelor party? 282 00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:45,190 Whoo!Yeah,well,you know what,Jeff ? I think this lookeda lot better on paper 283 00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:47,140 I should have stayed homewith the sick wife 284 00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:49,720 At least I know what diseases she has 285 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,970 Do you realize what I went through with the wifeto get this night? 286 00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:54,860 You understandhow madSteph is at me? 287 00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,340 You know,someonekeyed my car,and I thinkit was her 288 00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:58,720 Yeah,well,you know what ? I¡¯m sorry about that 289 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,420 But the night's over,and besides¡ª my friends left 290 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,620 Oh,right.Right Your friends left 291 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:10,400 Come on.You know what I mean Yeah,yeah.I think I do 292 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,150 Let's just go 293 00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:13,940 Uh...excuse me,miss? I¡¯m-- I¡¯m sorry 294 00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:17,820 I love your act,but I was just on my way out, and I just needed to get my hat back 295 00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,160 Hey,hey,hey! Put those hands down! 296 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,120 Sorry.I wasjust tryingto get my hat 297 00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:22,920 You need to tryto get your assout of here 298 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,530 Uh,I -- I would love to 299 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:29,290 I it¡¯s just,the,um--the otheryoung lady with the tassels,she--she disappearedwith my hat 300 00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,810 -So,if you'd beso kind as to- -excuse me 301 00:19:31,810 --> 00:19:35,590 Can you just...get my friendhis hat back? 302 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,540 I think it's time forboth of you to leave 303 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:41,220 You'rea striking man.. 304 00:19:41,690 --> 00:19:43,720 amazing armsare like tree trunks 305 00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:49,430 Do you use those,um,squishy, Springy hand things to...are you.. 306 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,040 Eddie,uh,we could go I it¡¯s fine. Ok.We should.Yeah 307 00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:54,510 Good time--terrific 308 00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,040 Eddie,what are you doing? 309 00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:06,740 -Hey,hey!Get down from there! -Leave me alone 310 00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:07,900 -Get back here! -Leave me alone 311 00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:10,030 -get back here! -No! 312 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:10,730 -You're hurting me! -No! 313 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,560 Get back here! 314 00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:16,650 Run,woodcock!Run like the wind! 315 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,260 you don't thinkit makes me looktoo tall? 316 00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,810 -I it¡¯s good!I it¡¯s good.O -ok 317 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:22,920 All right,now,listen 318 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:27,530 Remember,our wives have probably spent the entire Evening eating their cookie dough ice cream 319 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,410 And crying about What we've been doing tonight 320 00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:30,560 All right?so,listen 321 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:34,890 No matter what happens,on the other side of this door,do not show the guilt 322 00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:36,220 -Got it. -Ok 323 00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:51,050 I don't know what happened here,buddy 324 00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,490 But I think you¡¯re off the hook 25159

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