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1
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,500
Ow.What are you doing?
2
00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:10,050
What do you mean,what am I doing?
I'm playing footsie
3
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,850
Ok,footsie would imply something
cute and playful
4
00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:18,770
You're sawing through my Achilles
tendon with your big toenail
5
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:24,280
Well,it¡¯s fun.I it¡¯s frisky and..
6
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,260
might I even say,a little naughty
7
00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:36,080
Ok.No offense,but if you're trying
to get things started here,
8
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,740
your feet probably shouldn't
be playing a role
9
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,970
I mean,you want me thinking
about sex,right?
10
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:47,430
Not "how do I escape this razor-clawed
creature from the forest."
11
00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:50,780
All right I it¡¯s just that,you know..
12
00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,710
-it's been a few weeks,and-
-what ?!
13
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:58,000
No.No,what about the day
that I came home from the market
14
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,170
after discovering that they now
make sloppy Joes in a squirt bottle?
15
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:05,190
That...led to some pretty hot action
16
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,090
Yeah,but that was¡ª
that was like a month ago
17
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,330
-I t was?
-Yeah.Listen,trust me
18
00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:14,730
I don't quickly forget the day where
I have sex with you plus squeezable meat
19
00:01:16,790 --> 00:01:20,730
I¡¯m going to say thank you,
although I¡¯m not sure why
20
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,580
All right.Let's do this
21
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:29,680
Excuse me
22
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,240
What was that?
23
00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:34,840
What?I it¡¯s nothing.
I¡¯m just working on a little cold,that's all
24
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,070
Yeah,ok.Look,um..
25
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:50,180
see...here's the thing. I -- I¡¯m doing this
risk reward analys is in my head,
26
00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:55,950
and I don't know.I mean,already
I¡¯m picturing it's me having sex with,
27
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:59,740
like,1,000 of those tiny animated germ
guys from the commercials¡ª
28
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:02,850
you know,with the helmets and the
pickaxes And I -- I just,I ..
29
00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,640
I think those guys are for foot fungus
30
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,690
Yeah.Well,either way,I¡¯m out
31
00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:18,440
Til Death
1x15
32
00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:21,710
Ok,from downtown for the win!
33
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,270
Man,there is nothing more electric
than high schoolgirls' basketball
34
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:32,640
We should probably keep it down
35
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:36,030
I don't want Cofeld's wife coming down
here and yelling at us like last time
36
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,250
Oh,no worries.She's not even here
37
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:42,480
She's ata bridal shower for her sister's
Wedding or,should I say,"civil union."
38
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,380
What does that mean?
39
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,550
It means Denise is marrying Janet
40
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:50,690
Thanksgiving is about to get a whole lot
easier for the only black guy in the family
41
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:54,170
So,how does that work?
Like,one of them has a bridal shower,
42
00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,570
and then the other one has,
like,a bachelor party?
43
00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:59,230
Do gay people even have
bachelor parties?
44
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,850
I didn't have a bachelor party
45
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,130
Question asked,question answered
46
00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:09,440
You didn't have a bachelor party?
What happened?
47
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,000
Nothing.Just discussed it with Steph,
48
00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,460
and we decided I¡¯m not really
a bachelor-party kind of guy
49
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,970
Hold--hold on. You mean,Steph told
you you're not a bachelor-party kind of guy
50
00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:21,150
Every guy is a bachelor-party kind of guy
51
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,490
I it¡¯s a last taste of freedom
before they cut off our cranberries
and put ¡¯em in a jar
52
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,270
Yeah.Mine was crazy
53
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:34,290
We rented an R.V.And my brother got
girls who knew gymnastics and stuff
54
00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,920
You think that was crazy?
55
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:44,830
I¡¯m still wanted in the state of Delaware
56
00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:49,200
I made out with a dude
57
00:03:57,710 --> 00:03:59,500
Too bad those days are over
58
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,350
I don't know
59
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:12,150
We have someone here in our midst
who never had a shot ata bachelor party
60
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,430
What do you say we right some wrongs?
61
00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:17,120
Yeah,yeah I like what I¡¯m hearing
62
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:21,060
And I vote for an activity
that include snaked girls
63
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,180
Or sea world
64
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,680
-I like my idea
-All right
65
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,880
This is what we'll do.We'll get little
dressed up,we'll grab a few drinks,
66
00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:34,800
and,there's three of us here,
so we could split the limo
67
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,330
-There's four of us
-What?
68
00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:41,070
Oh!Right,yeah Three¡¯s...there¡¯s four of us
69
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,350
I wasn¡¯t counting myself
70
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,190
So,what do you say?
71
00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:47,990
Saturday night we'll do Jeff¡¯s bachelor party
72
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,500
Guys,uh,can I point outdone little flaw here?
73
00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:52,710
I¡¯m not a bachelor I¡¯m already married
74
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,650
There's no way Steph would allow me to do this
75
00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:57,760
And that¡¯s exactly why you do it
You have to stand up for yourself
76
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,430
Your wife doesn't decide whether
you're alwed to see other naked women
77
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,960
Actually,I think she does
78
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:09,250
I f it's noting our vows,
I¡¯m pretty sureit was implied
79
00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:12,960
You know what ?I give up Ok?Just forget it
80
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:16,880
Forgot that I was talking to Mr
" I respectand love my wife" here
81
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,200
I it¡¯s--it¡¯s...really sad
82
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:23,000
So sad.Sad,sad,sad
83
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,760
Oh,wait,wait,wait Ok,all right
84
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,400
You guys want to throw me a bachelor party--
85
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,850
Let's have a bachelor party.All right
86
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,510
I¡¯m not gonna let my wife tell me
what I can and can't do
87
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,600
You know what ? No.You're not doing this
88
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,340
Oh--you can't just say no!
89
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,340
But we've discussed this
You're not a bachelor-party guy
90
00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:42,360
No,no,no.You said
I¡¯m not a bachelor-party kind of guy
91
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,520
and guess what?You don't get to decide
92
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,790
whether or not I¡¯m allowed
to see other naked women
93
00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,780
Uh,I sure as hell do
94
00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:52,780
Yeah,I thought that sounded wrong
95
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:57,080
Come on!Let me have a bachelor party.Please?!
96
00:05:58,550 --> 00:05:59,810
Ok,fine
97
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,470
Have your post-wedding bachelor party
98
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:06,180
-Have a great time.
-I will
99
00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:09,100
So--so,you're ok with it
100
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:14,090
Hey,can I get you a snack?
101
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,470
I love you
102
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,690
Ok,I¡¯m heading out
103
00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:28,760
How's the cold?How's my little trooper doing?
104
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,400
I think I¡¯m dying
105
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,490
Oh,this one with the humor
106
00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:39,190
Fantastic.Ok,look¡ª
I got you a little pick-me-up
107
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:43,360
And it¡¯s with aloe,
so your face won¡¯t bleed anymore,ok?
108
00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:46,720
All right.I gotta get
going- get this thing over with
109
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,640
Yeah,I¡¯m sure you're dreading going
out and meeting a different
women named cinnamon
110
00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,540
Well,listen,tonight is for Jeff
111
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,050
And I just don't want to
disappoint the youngster
112
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,190
Oh,please I heard you in the shower singing,
113
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,480
whoomp!There it is
114
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:06,720
All right,listen.I know on the outside,
115
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,330
it probably looks like this is the most
excited I¡¯ve been in 3 years. But..
116
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:16,880
on the inside,there is no place
I would rather bethanright next to you
117
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,440
So,just say the word,and I won't go
118
00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:21,360
Don't go
119
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,910
You're serious?
120
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:30,130
-No.Go!
-Okey-dokey.That's my gal!
121
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,210
Gentlemen,here we are--flesh gardens
122
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:42,890
Breathe it in,boys
123
00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:49,620
I know on the outside,it probably looks
like this is the most excited
I¡¯ve been in 3 years
124
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,340
This is great
125
00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:55,180
This is totally worth the constant,
echoey silence that is now my marriage
126
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,360
Ok.You know what ?
127
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,040
Time to check the wife talking the lobby,ok?
128
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,350
And what do you say
we lose the Indiana Jones hat?
129
00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:05,310
No,Eddie,Eddie,this? This is my party hat
130
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:08,020
You would not believe
the kind of action I¡¯ve seen in this hat
131
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,650
Uh-huh.Didany of it involve running
from a giant boulder?
132
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:15,120
No.I f you must know,I wore this hat--
133
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,080
at the end of Casablanca
when you had to get on that plane?
134
00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,370
Just forget it,ok?
135
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:22,770
And don't mess withy party hat
136
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,020
I haven't seen a naked lady
besides my wife in 20 years..
137
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:29,560
except on that dirty deck of cards
I managed to save from childhood
138
00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:32,220
I¡¯m extremely terrified right now
139
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:37,090
10 bucks.Ok,gentlemen No touching,
groping,fondlingof the dancers
140
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:40,680
I f youdisrespectthe ladies,
you will be removed by me
141
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,280
I believe that,my brother Come on.
Give me a little--
142
00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:50,710
All right I guess this isn't gonna happen
143
00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,260
Ok,let's,uh...Let's go
144
00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,790
Gentlemen,wedding rings off
145
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,770
All--all right.You know what?
Let's go sit down.Right in front
146
00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,010
Uh,anybody bring any singles?
147
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:15,200
I didn't know what these gals expect in tips,
so,I went to the bank
and took out $700 in ones
148
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:17,990
Yeah,I think you¡¯re good Ok,sit down
149
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,630
Oh,hey!What's up,fellas?
150
00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:22,280
-Hey,there he is!Hey!
-Hey,Cofeld
151
00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:24,760
Ooh,let's get the party started!
152
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,880
Hey,guys!
153
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:30,940
You brought your wife?!
154
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,760
Oh,yeah,man It turns out she¡¯s into
this kind of stuff
155
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,090
She's cool,man.She's cool!
156
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,500
Oh,my god,Eddie That one looks
just like your daughter
157
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,080
Oh,please,god,no
158
00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:02,560
Come in!
159
00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:09,410
-Hi,joy.
-Hey
160
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,340
Jeff saidyou weren'tfeeling well,
so I thought I¡¯d pop over
and see how you're doing
161
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,210
Oh,that's nice.Um..
162
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,940
pretty bad,yeah.Pretty contagious
163
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,200
Doctor said that A thing like this could
just,you know,leap off of meand,grr!
164
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,810
Attack anybodywho's around me.So
165
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,100
oh!I¡¯m not worried about me
166
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,290
The most important thingis
we get you healthy
167
00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:34,380
I have some great homeopathicre
medies here Oh,no,no.I¡¯m good
168
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:38,790
I was just about totake enough cold medicine
to start a meth labin my belly
169
00:10:40,310 --> 00:10:41,430
Yeah
170
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:46,290
You could take what all the big pharm
aceutical companies have trained you to take,
171
00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:51,130
or you couldlet nature heal you
and put this stickup your nose
172
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,440
As soothing asthat sounds,um,
173
00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:06,090
I¡¯m not reallythe greatest sick person
174
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:11,900
So,I hope that you'll forgive me
for what I¡¯m about to say--get out
175
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,270
Ok
176
00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:17,670
I was just...feeling a little bummed about
177
00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:22,080
Jeff¡¯s skeevybachelor partyand I
thought I couldcome over here and
take careof you
178
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:24,840
But...feel better
179
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:28,130
Wait.Come back
180
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,120
You can't letthis thing with Jeff bother you
181
00:11:31,430 --> 00:11:34,430
Ohh.Oh,why does he have to go to a strip club?
182
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,730
We have a great sex life
183
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,460
I¡¯ll do anything
184
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:42,690
I mean...anything
185
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,710
That's nice,honey
186
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:51,890
But Jeff is just like Eddie. He's a good guy
187
00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:58,480
But even good guys occasionally feel the need
to go out and act like complete dumb-asses
188
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,490
Come on.You've known Jeff a long time
He must have done something like this before
189
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:04,570
Well,one time he had too much sugar
190
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:08,630
and said some pretty nasty things
about Ronald Reagan
in front of my grandpa
191
00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:16,600
The point is--that,at the end of the day,
the worst thing that could happen is that
192
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:22,940
Jeff gets called upon stage,a naked girl
rides him like a horse,and they run off
and start a new life together
193
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,730
Kidding!
194
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:27,240
I¡¯m kidding
195
00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:35,690
Yeah,I guess you¡¯re right
196
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:38,260
Bless you Thank you
197
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,280
You know,I -- I really wish
you'd try some of this stuff
198
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:45,030
I got this special tea from a
lakot a Indian shaman
199
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,950
I it¡¯s good stuff..
200
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:52,330
like,not legal outside the
Sioux nation good
201
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,880
I it¡¯ll bend your head, man
202
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,310
You get the tea going
I¡¯ll put on dark side of the moon
203
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,660
I just don¡¯t understand why anybody likes
this I mean, this is not erotic
204
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,580
I tsar billion-dollar industry
Somebody likes something
205
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:29,820
This is my bachelor party,people
Can we focus on the ladies?
206
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,820
All right,thank you.That was pleasant
Now my hair's wet
207
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:37,590
Eddie,it's just water
208
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,480
What do you mean it's just--my whole
head is wetland I¡¯m sitting under a vent
209
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,420
Knock,knock.Who's there?
Pneumonia Come on in!
210
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:46,890
Here ya go
211
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,650
Get yourself somemore
comfortable shoes
212
00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:56,650
Ma'am,excuse me,but I think there
should be a posting or some kind of warning
if there's gonna be water in your act
213
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,200
So,it's your bachelor party
214
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,830
When are you getting married?
215
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:05,210
Oh,I actually got married 6 months ago
This is like a do over
216
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,080
Isn't the whole point of a bachelor
party to still be a bachel?
217
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,710
Could you switch places
with the little bo peep?
218
00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:15,180
She strikes me as less judgmental
219
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,290
Hey there,handsome
220
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:20,380
I¡¯m not comfortable here I can tell
221
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,710
Maybe you should take a little
break and come with me
to the champagne room
222
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:27,060
I s therechampagnethere?
There's anything you want there
223
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,200
That sounds classy
224
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,920
Excuse me--Laura,Laura?
225
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:36,850
Oh,my god!Nicole!
226
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,630
You two know each other?
227
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:41,440
Yeah We did a
mommy & me class together
228
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,780
Ok,this isn't good
229
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:48,260
So,how'slittle Michael? Oh,he's great
230
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:52,620
How is your baby boy?
Oh,not a baby anymore
231
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:59,050
This is little Joshua and
his grandfather taking a bath together
232
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,630
Adorable!
233
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,090
So,how did things work out
with that breast pump?
234
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,180
not so good
235
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:08,800
You'll seein a minute
236
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,140
Ohh.Ok,uh,good night,everybody
237
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:13,540
Come on,let's go We're leaving?
238
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,290
I was just starting to enjoy this!
Well,come on,honey
239
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,810
We'll talk all about it in the minivan
240
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,670
Thanks fo rbringing her by
241
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,970
God,I love this tea
242
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:33,830
I t makes me feel...unconquerable
243
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,270
Yeah
244
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:43,520
Hey,do you seethat hawkon top of the tv?
245
00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:48,360
No
246
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:50,560
Wait..
247
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,050
no
248
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:03,860
I gotta be honest,Steph
249
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:08,830
I it¡¯s a little surprisingthat someone
like youwould have tea like this
250
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:15,780
it's no big deal,really Just...
after my freshman year of college,
251
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:19,960
I was hitchh iking through south dakota
when I met thisnative american guy
252
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,890
He was super hot
253
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,940
Like,long,black hair. and really in shape
254
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,570
But not from the gym¡ª
just from,like,climbing stuff
255
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,830
Anyway,we spent a pretty wild
couple of weeks camping out
256
00:16:40,990 --> 00:16:43,600
and before he left,he gave me these herbs
257
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,790
It didn't work out,but..
258
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,440
Every couple of months,
I mail him 100 bucks
259
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,440
and he sends me more
in a hollowed-out teddy bear
260
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:06,170
wow..And to think--when I first met you,
I thought you werea nitwit
261
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,030
Yeah
262
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,170
And I thoughtyou werea real bitch
263
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,780
You know what else? What?Ha ha ha!
264
00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:24,240
Check out this tattoo
265
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,590
Ha ha!Oh
266
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:30,860
Jeff thinks it's the native
American symbol for serenity
267
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:34,260
But it eally means"john thunderclaw."
268
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,330
Oh,my god.There goes the hawk
269
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:57,310
I¡¯m actuallystarting to findstripping boring
270
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,240
I¡¯ve counted6 girls dancing nude
with nicotine patches
271
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,770
Eddie,can you not talk about
what¡¯s wrong with the strippers?
272
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:08,480
I don't ever want tohear again,
"Hey,look.That one'sbalding."
273
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:12,280
Heh.Oh,oh,look! Something
very naughtyis happening withy hat!
274
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:15,970
Maybe she cangive it to her
friend and cover the bald spot
275
00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:21,860
Oh,my god
276
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:23,290
Stan,what happened?
277
00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,490
There's no champagne inthe champagne room..
278
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,590
only shame
279
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,350
I¡¯m gonna walk overto the airport to
see if they have a 24-hour chapel
280
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:37,940
Well,I guess we shouldcall
it a night,too What?
281
00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:41,500
Eddie--the night's justgetting started!
Hey,man,hey,what about--bachelor party?
282
00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:45,190
Whoo!Yeah,well,you know what,Jeff ?
I think this lookeda lot better on paper
283
00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:47,140
I should have stayed homewith the sick wife
284
00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:49,720
At least I know what diseases she has
285
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,970
Do you realize what I went through
with the wifeto get this night?
286
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:54,860
You understandhow madSteph is at me?
287
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:57,340
You know,someonekeyed my car,and
I thinkit was her
288
00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:58,720
Yeah,well,you know what ?
I¡¯m sorry about that
289
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,420
But the night's over,and besides¡ª
my friends left
290
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,620
Oh,right.Right Your friends left
291
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:10,400
Come on.You know what I mean
Yeah,yeah.I think I do
292
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,150
Let's just go
293
00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:13,940
Uh...excuse me,miss? I¡¯m-- I¡¯m sorry
294
00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:17,820
I love your act,but I was just on my way out,
and I just needed to get my hat back
295
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,160
Hey,hey,hey! Put those hands down!
296
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,120
Sorry.I wasjust tryingto get my hat
297
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:22,920
You need to tryto get your assout of here
298
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,530
Uh,I -- I would love to
299
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:29,290
I it¡¯s just,the,um--the otheryoung lady with
the tassels,she--she disappearedwith my hat
300
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,810
-So,if you'd beso kind as to-
-excuse me
301
00:19:31,810 --> 00:19:35,590
Can you just...get my friendhis hat back?
302
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,540
I think it's time forboth of you to leave
303
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:41,220
You'rea striking man..
304
00:19:41,690 --> 00:19:43,720
amazing armsare like tree trunks
305
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:49,430
Do you use those,um,squishy,
Springy hand things to...are you..
306
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,040
Eddie,uh,we could go I it¡¯s fine.
Ok.We should.Yeah
307
00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:54,510
Good time--terrific
308
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,040
Eddie,what are you doing?
309
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:06,740
-Hey,hey!Get down from there!
-Leave me alone
310
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:07,900
-Get back here! -Leave me alone
311
00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:10,030
-get back here!
-No!
312
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:10,730
-You're hurting me! -No!
313
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,560
Get back here!
314
00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:16,650
Run,woodcock!Run like the wind!
315
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,260
you don't thinkit makes me looktoo tall?
316
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,810
-I it¡¯s good!I it¡¯s good.O
-ok
317
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:22,920
All right,now,listen
318
00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:27,530
Remember,our wives have probably spent
the entire Evening eating
their cookie dough ice cream
319
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,410
And crying about
What we've been doing tonight
320
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:30,560
All right?so,listen
321
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:34,890
No matter what happens,on the other
side of this door,do not show the guilt
322
00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:36,220
-Got it.
-Ok
323
00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:51,050
I don't know what happened
here,buddy
324
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,490
But I think you¡¯re off the hook
25159
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