Original subtitles

♪ Lean on me and I'll lean on you ♪

♪ That's just what we do... ♪

[Dawn] Ever since I moved to Stoneybrook,

it's just been me and my mom in our little old farmhouse.

But today that changes, because the Spiers are moving in!

Only for a week, but still.

It's like a trial run for the future.

If my mom and Richard ever get married,

Mary Anne and I would get to officially be stepsisters.

So I want to make my room super perfect.

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪

[Dawn] And then I'll tackle the rest of my house.

♪ You wrote the plot out from the start ♪

♪ And made yourself the beating heart ♪

♪ I was the one who stole your crown ♪

♪ You were the one With the biggest mouth, now ♪

Oh, there's that rug.

Honey, this looks amazing. Who taught you to dust?

- [Dawn] What is this? - That's a tincture.

One drop of that on the tongue daily helps to ward off negative spirits

and boost organization skills.

Organization, huh? Might want to up your dose.

You are so your father's daughter sometimes.

- [doorbell rings] - There they are! Okay.

[Dawn giggles]

Welcome.

Is there a vacancy at Chez Schafer?

Right this way, sis. [giggles]

I know it may appear as though I packed too much,

but I brought my own linens because they're hypoallergenic.

Also I brought a small fan,

because imagine trying to fall asleep in complete silence. I can't.

- I brought some... - Richie. You gonna say hello or what?

- Sorry. Hi. - Hi. Mwah.

Honey, relax. This week is gonna be so fun!

Let me help you.

- Sure. Here's the smallest one. - Okay.

Oh, heck! What? Uh, honey, what's in here?

- Those are several pewter chess sets... - I got it.

[Dawn] Here we were. Already acting like a chill, happy family.

Meanwhile, babysitting at the Pikes was decidedly less chill.

As your older sister, I command you to stop!

[Byron] Buzz off, Mallory!

You can't control chaos. Chaos controls you.

[children screaming]

She used to only speak in rhymes, so this is progress.

Oh, okay. Everyone can do whatever they want!

- Yeah! - [Mallory] Jessi!

We're supposed to be a united front!

Remove rules, there's no need to rebel. Trust me.

- [crashing] - [Byron] Ow!

[Byron] Mom!

- [crying] Mom! - Byron tripped.

There's blood.

Welcome to my sister-bonding starter kit.

We've got face masks, tarot, board games.

What do you wanna do first?

Uh, whatever you want. Mind if I make some room for my clothes?

Of course not. I want you to treat my space like it's your own.

Really?

Absolutely. What's mine is yours.

Okay. Cool. Okay.

[chuckles nervously] Whatcha doing?

Oh, just making room so I can hang up my clothes.

Um...

Dawn, do you have, like, a hidden room or something?

You mean that panel thing? It's painted shut, right?

Oh, the secret passageway.

- I didn't tell you about that? - Huh?

Okay. There's an underground tunnel

that goes from your room all the way to the storm cellar.

A previous owner built it during the prohibition era

so they could make, you know, gin or whatever in secret.

A salacious history.

- I like it. - Me too.

What if some creature lives down there? Or person?

Someone who's never seen the sun 'cause they haven't been out of the tunnel.

That's unlikely, sweetheart.

What is possible is that an intruder could come in through the cellar...

Ooh, ooh, ooh, Richard, that's not helpful!

Let's eat our tacos.

Mom, no offense, but this seitan has no heat.

That may be my fault. Spicy foods upset my stomach.

Honey, why don't you go get some habanero?

All right, but, Richard, you should really consider

upping up the spice level, like, gradually.

Maybe it's a stomach thing, but maybe you just haven't been exposed to it

because of, um, cultural differences.

Which we love and support in this household.

Mm-hm.

That's the great thing about us being together, right?

- We can learn new things from each other. - I'll have some hot sauce.

That's the spirit.

[Sharon] Whoa!

Taking off the training wheels. That's a big portion. Well, good heavens.

- Oh. Good. Byron's okay. - [mumbles with mouth full]

Byron, uh, he's one of the many, many Pike kids, right?

He must have tripped and bonked his head while Jessi and Mallory were babysitting.

Head injuries. Those can be very serious.

Well, it was just a cut and he needed a few stitches, but he's fine now.

For now. There could be a brain bleed, epidermal hematoma.

Could be fine one moment, then...

[Dawn] He went to the ER. I'm sure they got him checked out.

But it's all positive.

I'm not being negative, just realistic. Mary Anne?

- What's happening over there? - Oh, Mary Anne, are you okay?

[strained] Mm, I'm fine.

Mm, just think the hot sauce was a little much for me!

- Can I get some milk? - Almond or oat?

Regular?

[lullaby playing softly]

- [screams] - You okay?

I'm fine.

This doll just caught me by surprise.

Yeah, Logan, I gotta go.

No, I'm serious. You hang up first.

No, you...

Oh. He hung up.

Are you and Logan still living without labels?

'Cause you're sounding pretty BF-GF to me.

[sighs] Dawn, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Clowny.

I've had him since I was little. Isn't he cute?

He's adorable. Hey, do you know where my incense holder is, then?

No, I must have moved it somewhere.

[Dawn] All good. I'll find it.

In a cup. You're gonna love this.

It's a special blend that promotes relaxation and a restful night of sleep.

Perfect for the end of the day.

[coughing, wheezing]

Sorry. [coughs] Sensitive lungs.

It's all good.

I want you to be comfortable.

Thank you. Okay, now, good night, sis.

Sweet dreams.

[sighs]

[Mallory] It was terrifying. Byron said his entire life flashed before his eyes.

But he's only ten, so there wasn't that much life to get through.

Mallory!

- I'm just so glad he's okay. - Me too.

He only got six stitches, but it was, like, a thousand bucks a stitch.

The American health-care system strikes again.

Claire's birthday's coming up and she wanted this big, carnival-themed party,

but now my parents say we can't spend the money.

- She's so bummed. I feel terrible. - [Kristy] Wait.

What if we threw the party as a club? I bet we could pull off a carnival.

Oh, you guys don't have to do that. It's too much work.

A kid got injured on our watch.

From an optics POV, that is horrible for business.

We should do some damage control.

What she means to say is it's the least we can do.

And it'd be our pleasure.

And the treasury is in good shape, so we can skip our monthly charity donation

and use the money for Claire's party.

Oh.

Okay. Thank you, I guess.

Great. All in favor, say, "Aye."

[all except Mary Anne] Aye!

Oh, sorry. Aye.

You okay? You haven't said a peep all afternoon.

I just didn't sleep last night.

Did Dawn's snoring keep you up?

Excuse me?

No. More like the secret passageway in her room.

What? You have a secret passageway in your room? Is it haunted?

But what about bats? You know, they all carry some kind of weird virus.

- And my dad says... - Mary Anne.

Listen to me.

There's nothing scary about the secret passageway.

You're right. Sorry for being such a wimp.

It's all good. This is a safe space for you to share your feelings.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Go to sleep. - Okay.

Go to sleep.

There's definitely rats though. Or even possums!

- They all have rabies. I know that much. - They actually don't have rabies.

If I was a rat, I'd be so annoyed.

Like, seriously, universe?

I couldn't have been something cuter? Like a hamster or a mouse?

Oh, that would have been so cute.

Having those little umbrellas or little outfits that they wore.

I could make something.

Do you know where I would find mice?

[girls laughing]

For Claire's birthday party to be a success, we must divide and conquer.

- Everyone needs a role. - I can be a magical fairy.

I can wear my point shoes and kids love glitter and a wand.

And I can put together gift bags,

but use those red-and-white popcorn bags to keep the theme going.

I'll do face paint. I can incorporate really cool stuff,

like feather eyelashes and glitter.

You guys, this is all super sweet.

Really. I'm obsessed.

But don't you think it's gonna be a little expensive?

- I wouldn't wanna run up the treasury. - I can wear one of my old ballet outfits.

I'm sure I have something.

And I already have all the face paint stuff.

[Stacey] And, Mallory, as treasurer,

if we dip into dues to put together gift bags, it's no big deal.

That's what it's there for.

Okay. If you say so.

Great! It's settled. I'll be project manager.

But what about the birthday cake?

Ooh, I can bake one, and get some of that cool decorating stuff.

Yeah, perfect. Dawn?

Thoughts?

Sorry. I guess I'm the one a little out of it today.

Didn't you sleep well last night? I slept great.

[Dawn] I'm sure she did,

after talking my ear off about rodents and rare diseases all night long,

depriving me of my special sleeping incense,

all the while clutching that creepy...

Clown.

I could dress up as a... clown?

I mean, I think they're sort of weird and haunted-looking,

but some people love them.

- Do you have a problem with Mr. Clowny? - It's all good.

Seriously.

He's your doll, Mary Anne.

Do what you want with him. You know me. I'm always chill.

Ooh, that's good, that's good. Whoa!

Girl! No, no, it's good. There was too much anyway.

- The kitchen, it's a disaster. - [Sharon] I'm sorry, honey.

Mary Anne and I are trying to get a handle on this baking thing.

We forgot the flour the first time so now we're having to start all over.

Well, I did just clean the entire house, including the kitchen.

Honey, I said I'm sorry.

- We'll clean up. - Yeah.

That's what you say now.

I don't know if you knew, but Dawn is kind of a closet neat freak.

- Closet? I'm sure she's out and proud. - [Sharon] Has she been torturing you?

No, actually, everything with Dawn is all good, all the time.

[Sharon] You poor thing.

"All good" is Dawn-speak for "Please, go jump off a cliff."

[laughing]

[Dawn] Well, Mary Anne and my mom were apparently best friends now.

Cool.

Hey, Dawn. I just received a package full of super cool coloring books for adults.

Want to check 'em out?

[Dawn] Me and Richard, not so much.

Maybe later.

Everything all right?

All good!

Look at this.

[Sharon and Mary Anne giggle]

Wow, this kitchen looks like a war zone. Need any help?

- Majorly. - Please.

- This is a travel apron. - [Sharon laughs]

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs fight...

I mean, bite.

[creaking]

What the...

Yes?

Did you not hear that? From the secret passageway?

[Dawn] The truth was I did hear something.

But no way was I gonna just admit it and let her drive us both crazy all night.

No, I didn't hear anything, Mary Anne.

Just go to sleep.

Can we leave the light on? Just for tonight?

Mi casa es su casa.

I need some water.

[clattering]

Oh, sorry! Are you okay?

I just set up an alarm, in case any intruders came.

Y-you got it.

Really?

Okay.

[Dawn] Normally I would have gone in the guest room,

but Richard was claiming to be sleeping in there for propriety's sake.

Finally, a full night of sleep in the dark like a normal person.

Oh, sorry! You were just gone for so long, I thought something happened, so...

[Dawn] Something did happen to me.

I realized Mary Anne was a total pain to live with.

Good night hugs! I almost... No? Okay.

Cotton candy-flavored. Doesn't it look great?

My blood sugar rose looking at that photo, but it was worth it.

So is the dried cake batter around the kitchen.

[Mary Anne] Oh, really?

Sharon and I spent forever cleaning that up.

Looks like you missed some spots.

Dawn. The party's tomorrow. What's the ETA on your clown costume?

[Dawn] Oh, shoot, the clown.

I seem to have blocked that out with all the emotional and, let's face it,

physical labor I've been performing lately.

I might have to be more of an old clothes and face paint sad clown

than a pom-poms-and-giant-shoes happy clown.

I try to patronize local businesses,

but there's a major dearth in mom-and-pop clown supply stores in Stoneybrook.

I just realized something. My sister was a clown for Halloween last year,

and the costume was a little big and we still have it, so...

Great! Love to recycle.

[phone ringing]

Baby-Sitters Club...

I'll do another deep clean of the kitchen once we get home.

It's easier if I do it. You're messy. Just like my mom.

Is this where all this passive-aggressiveness is coming from?

I'm not being passive-aggressive.

You're just sensitive and paranoid,

which is why you're scared of so many things.

That's ridiculous! I'm not scared of so many things.

Yup. You are.

Do you guys think that?

No.

Cautious, maybe.

Prone to getting in your own head and spiraling into a panic?

But, like, in a fun and carefree way.

[Kristy] Yeah, we're excited too. See you tomorrow. Okay.

That was Mallory's parents on the phone.

They wanted to go over the final details for tomorrow

and I promised that tomorrow would be a blast.

Which it will be.

We are going to have fun.

Get excited!

Whoop-whoop!

- [all] Whoop-whoop. - Excited.

That's the last of the chairs. What else do we need?

Mal, why don't you take a break? You've been working nonstop all morning.

No way. It's my sister's birthday. I should be doing most of the work.

We got this.

- [Kristy] Wow! - [Claudia] I love your outfit!

Jessi, you look so cute!

Thanks! I bought it yesterday with my mom at Capezio in Stamford.

I thought you were gonna use some of your old ballet costumes.

I just wanted it to be special for Claire.

How much did it cost? I can Venmo you...

I'll wear it again. Mallory, it's fine.

It's not fine.

You guys are doing way too much.

I don't want to be The Baby-Sitters Club charity case, okay?

Huh? Why would you think that?

Is this because of the charity contribution?

Mallory, I'm so sorry. That was a really dumb thing to say.

I didn't mean that you were charity.

- I don't want to be a burden. - You're not.

Was it charity when I asked you guys to be part of the JDRF fashion show?

Yes, Stacey, that was literally charity.

Mallory, being a part of The Baby-Sitters Club means we show up for each other.

We don't call it charity. It's just friendship.

Wow.

You guys.

I feel so lucky to be a part of this group.

And you're all so nice and supportive and...

Wait, where's Mary Anne and Dawn?

What are you doing?

I'm going into your secret passageway. You're right, Dawn.

I am afraid of your closet, and the dark sometimes,

and criticism, and even healthy conflict!

But today,

I face my fears.

Mary Anne! I didn't mean...

[Dawn] Oh God. She's gone. What if there are actually bats in there?

Or secret tunnel people who have never seen the sun?

[suspenseful music plays]

Mary Anne?

Mary Anne, where are you?!

Ouch.

- [Mary Anne] Dawn! - [Dawn screams]

I just ran through the whole tunnel! I can't believe I was so scared!

There's nothing! We were safe the whole time!

Great! Let's go!

I can't believe I was so freaked out about this place. I feel so empowered.

[door rattles]

It's locked.

- [Dawn] Just come help me. - Okay.

Fine.

[door rattles]

[banging on door]

Interesting.

Looks like we're locked in here together.

- Did you bring your phone? - No, I didn't bring my phone!

I left it in my room, but you brought yours, right?

[Dawn] I didn't know what scared me more.

Being trapped in the tunnel,

or being trapped in it with Mary Anne.

[carnival music plays]

Hey, it's the birthday girl.

Mallory said there'd be a clown. I want the clown!

[Claire cries]

[gasps]

- Whoa, look at that! - That's cool!

[Kristy] Happy birthday!

Honk, honk.

I think she really likes it.

Have you heard from Dawn?

Cool. The closet and storm cellar door are both locked from the outside,

which means we're basically trapped.

Hey, you wanna play a game? Never have I ever?

Never have I ever been trapped in an underground tunnel before

with no phones and no end in sight.

Except now you have. You're supposed to name things you haven't done.

Look, Dawn, it's gonna be okay.

- There's still plenty of oxygen in here. - Oh God!

And... Sharon and my dad will be back from their hike in a couple hours.

My dad can't be outside longer than that before his pollen allergy chokes him.

I can't believe this right now.

The most fearful person in the universe and you came in here without your phone.

I didn't know you were coming after me! You were supposed to wait in the bedroom.

My bedroom.

Which I didn't even know had this stupid tunnel until you came in

and started moving all the stuff in my closet!

I needed room for my clothes!

And you made this big thing about what's mine is yours, socialism.

- Blah blah blah! - That's right.

My room, my house, my mom!

It's all yours!

God,

I feel so dumb.

I knew things were a little tense, but

that's how it is with sisters sometimes, right?

[inhales]

If you and I were actually sisters... [inhales shakily]

...and Sharon was my...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

No, look, Dawn, you did mean it!

I can be a little much

and you act like you're cool with everything, but you're not!

You're right.

I mean, I was cool with everything until it just... It just crept up on me.

Okay? I'm used to having my own space

and with you being all buddy-buddy with my mom,

it just made me feel territorial.

And my dad's great, but he's in California,

and so it's just been me and my mom.

Look, I get it. It's like that with me and my dad too.

That's why it felt so good to hang out with Sharon.

Look, I know she's your mom, not mine, but still...

You don't need to explain.

You can borrow her anytime you'd like.

What's mine is yours.

I mean it this time.

And, hey, if we ever do become sisters, for real this time,

my dad won't have to pretend to sleep in the guest room

and we can have our own rooms.

Deal.

[both giggle]

[Dawn] Word to the wise.

If you're stuck underground in a mysterious secret passageway

you have little immediate hope of escaping,

best case scenario, it's with your best friend.

Meanwhile, above ground,

things were getting a little darker.

Hey, guys, you having fun?

Okay.

Hey, Claud. How's it going?

We're going in, like, a goth direction.

You look like a horror movie. Cool.

Dawn and Mary Anne aren't answering texts.

I'm gonna go over and make sure they're alive.

- Hold down the fort. - Yeah.

[clown shoes squeaking]

Can you give me a teardrop? It represents the darkness of my soul.

[Mary Anne] Okay, okay.

Never have I ever

told Logan his breath stinks, even though sometimes it really does.

[giggles] Men have such fragile egos.

[both laughing]

- [gasping] - [creaking]

Oh my God!

Oh my God, a tunnel person!

Loving this role reversal.

You all scared and me being the calm, go-with-the-flow one.

Oh my God, it's coming for us!

The nose. [breathing shakily]

And the feet! They can't be human!

[Mary Anne hyperventilates]

[Dawn and Mary Anne scream]

What are you doing in here?

We've been waiting for you at the Pike's for, like, an hour.

Yeah. I get it now.

Clowns are creepy.

Come on! Let's go!

Okay.

[clown shoes squeaking]

Hey, Dawn.

- You had an eventful day. Feel okay? - All good.

[Richard] Hey, uh... [clears throat]

I know you weren't very interested before,

but may I show you my coloring book for adults?

When I'm anxious or fearful

or have difficulty expressing my emotions,

frequently all three,

I do some of those exercises and it really helps.

Oh.

Thanks, but

I'm not anxious or fearful or repressed.

Dawn, with all due respect,

you're boarding up a door on a Saturday night

so non-existent tunnel monsters don't come and get you,

and you're telling me you're all good?

When I start to feel my anxiety rev up, it helps me to vocalize my fears.

Like when the little Pike boy hurt his head.

I know it seems dramatic and annoying,

but, for me, to name the scariest thought helped.

Somehow it takes away its power.

- That makes sense. - [Richard] I know you're strong.

You like to be there for everyone else.

But sometimes the strongest thing is to admit

you need someone to be there for you.

[Dawn] Hey, Richard.

Got any colored pencils?

So many.

[Dawn] I admit it.

I had doubts about the Spiers and the Schafers melding households.

But the truth is,

we had a lot in common.

[clears throat] Excuse me, please, may I also have some hot sauce?

- [Dawn] Oh. - Oh.

You got it.

- Thank you. - All right.

[Dawn] Oh.

[drumroll building]

I love it. All good.

- [Sharon] Yay! - [Dawn] More than I realized.

So... So flavorful.

[laughing]

[Dawn] Mary Anne and I were always going to feel like sisters,

no matter what our parents decided to do.

- Night. - Night.[chuckles]

Can we? Just for tonight?

[exhales]

Of course.

♪ I get happy, I get happy ♪

♪ Then I smile, I can see the stars ♪

♪ I get happy, I get happy ♪

♪ Walkin' high, now the world is ours ♪

♪ I get happy, I get happy ♪

♪ I can see for miles And we're two lucky hearts ♪

♪ I don't know, I don't know ♪

♪ Where I'd go ♪

♪ I don't know, I don't know ♪

♪ What I'd do ♪

♪ All I know, all I know ♪

♪ Is when I'm with you ♪

♪ Everything, everything feels so new ♪

♪ I get happy, I get happy ♪

♪ Then I smile, I can see the stars ♪

♪ I get happy, I get happy ♪

♪ I can see for miles And we're two lucky hearts ♪