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1 He had his fucking cell phone in his hand

against the pottery while we were giving it to them.

I just wanna make a great show.

And if we include you talking

about these wounds of frustration

between you and Asher,

then people are gonna connect with you

and they're gonna think you're being honest.

Stop discussing curses.

If you put an idea in your head,

it can become very real.

Girls.

You're always complaining about the gaming board?

You should be proud of yourself, Asher.

$50. Max bet.

This is your chance to do something about it.

We're not gonna be able to do the story,

unless I have the security footage.

I... I know the exact folder I put it in.

I will get it for you.

What the hell do you and Cara text about?

- You can see. - What's this?

That's some racist statue that she sent me,

some miniature golf course in Albuquerque.

Wait till you see this show.

Your art looks so good in our home.

Did you guys talk about that release?

'Cause apparently we need like an official signature before

we can use your artwork in the show.

Yeah, yeah. I need do that.

No rush. Like, kind of a rush, but not, not a big rush.

Maybe corporate comedy class would be interesting for you,

just so you could feel more confident.

Use your legs, pull.

Use your arms.

Step, step, step.

Pull, pull, pull. You're almost there.

Good, good. Way to go, Max.

Good job. Good job.

Next.

You got this, Josie.

Use your legs, pull. Use your arms.

- Keep stepping. - You got it, Josie.

Good job, Josie. Good job.

Use your legs. Pull, pull. You're doing good.

Good job. Awesome. Awesome.

Use your legs, pull. Use your arms.

Keep pulling. Keep pulling. Use your legs.

Pull it. Pull it. Pull, pull, pull.

Fall.

Keep stepping. Keep stepping and pulling.

Way to go. Way to go.

Keep climbing. Keep... good, good, good.

Touch the yellow. Touch the yellow.

Fall.

Great. Now, come back down slow.

Slow it down. Good job.

Nala, you're up.

Keep going, Nala. You're doing good.

Keep trying. Keep trying. One hand over the other.

Use your feet.

Keep pulling. Keep pulling.

Pull it. Pull it.

Keep trying. Keep trying.

All right, Nala, maybe next time.

You can't hog the rope all day.

- Next. - Good job, Nala.

So that's how it's gonna be. Well, I tried.

Okay, Jasper. Keep going. Keep going. Good.

Um, she's bullying me.

Is it hurting you?

If anybody says anything negative about you,

as long as you believe in yourself,

no bullying is gonna get... get to you unless

they get very physical with you.

But I'm glad you came and told me about this.

But be positive in all your actions.

Believe in yourself, that's the main thing.

Can I use the bathroom?

Oh, sure. Go.

- Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com -

Head southeast on Reservoir Street.

Your destination is on the left.

Okay.

Sean.

Sean. Sean. Sean!

I called your name four times, man.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You gotta answer me when I'm talking to you.

Oh.

- You got a bungee or something? - This is fine. This is good.

It'll work. This will work.

Okay. There we go.

Thank you.

Shit.

♪ I'm giving it my all ♪

♪ But I'm not the girl you're taking home ♪

♪ Ooh. I keep dancing on my own ♪

♪ I keep dancing on my own ♪

♪ I'm in the... ♪

Hello?

- I'm calling the police. - It's me, it's me.

I see you've met my friend.

It's from the mini-golf course,

but not anymore. Now, it's yours.

Okay. Thank you.

I think your friend is a little cold.

Should we bring him inside?

- Sure. - Okay.

Do you want help? Is it... I mean...

No. I'm okay.

So Dougie showed me the photo and it was disgusting.

And I had to do something,

so I offered the owner to take it off his hands.

You paid him for it?

Oh, my God, I didn't want this thing there.

It's like a place for children. It's so offensive.

It was around all these dinosaurs and it's like,

I didn't want that, so it's gone now,

and it is my gift to you and you can use it

in your art and re-contextualize it.

Maybe I can just sign it right now

and you can buy it. How about that?

I mean...

an original Cara Durand piece in my home would be fine,

but, you know, obviously if we wanna show it on the show,

I'm gonna have to have you sign a release,

and we all know that's not a quick process.

Yeah. I... I'm sorry, I...

I'm kidding. I'm completely kidding. I actually...

I... I printed out the release for you

just, because I know email is so annoying and, you know,

it like, always gets lost and I'm...

I never pay attention to it.

And, um, I will... Oh, here. Here, I'll get a pen.

Okay.

Here you are.

Is everything okay?

I don't think that I can sign this right now.

I don't understand.

What do you mean?

I'm... I'm sorry.

No. But you, you said that it was... it was fine

if it was only in our house... only our home.

What's... what's going on?

Your art is all over the show,

so it's like it would be really hard to cut around it.

And... and Dougie says it's impossible,

but, of course I'll do what I need to do, of course.

I'm just... I... I think I'm just confused

'cause we're friends,

so why wouldn't you want your artwork in the show?

I love that you have my art. It's...

it's just... it's gonna be a whole thing,

you know, considering what your parents do,

and I'm also being told about, like,

where I should be showing my art

and then where it should be seen.

And it's just, I don't know if

I want my art in the show

at this point.

So what my... what my parents do?

Well, they take advantage of poor people.

I... I don't even really see them anymore.

And my whole thing, my whole life

is about doing everything that they don't do.

But you know what? This is... this is good, actually.

I needed to hear this.

Nobody tells me the truth, honestly.

And that's why we're friends because you're always real with me.

And maybe I haven't been as real with you, lately.

'Cause there's actually been a lot of things

going on in my life that you don't know about,

and that's not cool to do

as a friend, you know.

And I felt this distance between us lately,

and I... I know this is why.

So I'm insecure about myself

and I'm not telling you things.

But, um...

I'm unhappy in my marriage...

and I hide it well, right?

Like, who would even know that?

But I feel like he's holding me back

and I just wanna be artistic,

and philosophical,

and all he cares about are the financials.

And it's so sad,

because I came here today

to ask you to be a consultant for the show.

That's what I wanted to do. It was gonna be so special. And...

I mean you don't want even want your art in the show,

so, like, what am I thinking?

I mean, I'm so lost.

I'm so off base. It's crazy.

I just... I... I should... I should just leave.

I should leave.

I didn't know... I didn't know about you and Asher.

I'm sorry.

Well, I mean, how would you know that? I haven't been...

telling you things.

I was so excited. It was gonna be so special...

and we have $15,000 to $20,000 for this job,

and it's...

So, what would... what would this job entail?

I just really wanna get things right, you know?

And so if I... if I have a question about Tiwa or Tewa,

like I still mix those up. And I... you know, if have.

So... so, like a Native American consultant?

Yes. I mean, but it... it really wouldn't take

much of your time at all.

Would I... would my name have to be

in the credits of the show or...

I mean, if you felt comfortable with that, yeah.

Could I... could we maybe do it anonymously?

It's a pretty big network show,

so, you know, if they...

if they were paying you for this role,

I... I do think it might be a little bit weird

if it was anonymous, you know, like,

I don't know if they would want that.

So for... and this is for $20,000?

I don't wanna force you into anything.

And it's just to consult.

It's not about my art in the show?

Yes, exactly, just to consult.

I mean, we could rip this thing up right now.

I mean, you know, I'm just kidding.

You can... you can take time to think about it, of course.

But it's just to consult.

Hmm.

Oh, I'm so happy we can talk like this. I...

Yeah, yeah, me too.

Do you mind if I get some water?

- No, no, please. Get some water. - I'm thirsty from all of these.

Okay. I'm just gonna use one of these mugs.

I'm so ugly that on Halloween when I open the door,

kids give me candy.

That's funny, right? Does anybody know what comedian said that?

I'll give you a clue.

He gets no respect.

Steven Wright.

Actually, it is...

Rodney Dangerfield, right?

We used to be really close friends,

but then he stopped talking to me because I'm not funny.

All right. Well, show of hands,

how many of you, uh, know who Rodney Dangerfield is?

All right. Well, he was the master

of self-deprecating humor.

And some say, that is the safest form of comedy

because you're making yourself the butt of the joke, right?

I know some of you right now you're asking yourself,

"Jeff, you are an extremely handsome guy

and you seem to be pretty smart, too.

So how is that gonna help me with my career?

How is it gonna help me if I'm pointing out my flaws?"

Well, the answer is, and I know...

I know I keep going back to emotional intelligence,

but it is a form of emotional intelligence.

People are drawn to those who are self-aware, right?

And puts everybody at ease, right?

So, Rachael, you were, uh, saying something

about, uh, mothering, smothering.

What were you saying?

I said, "Mothering, smothering, what's the difference?"

Okay. Well, it's kind of a pun, right?

But you're also looking back at yourself when you're saying

that you're an overbearing mother, right?

So what can be the exaggeration on that,

that we can turn it into a joke?

I'm not a mother, I'm a smother?

That's close, but it's still a pun.

So let's, let's take a look at, uh, Rodney here, okay?

Are we really to believe that kids think he's so ugly

that they give him candy

because they think he's wearing a monster costume?

No, no. And that's what makes it funny.

So what would happen if you were to smother your kid,

like, like, way too much, right?

He would suffocate and die.

So you might say,

uh, "I'm really concerned with my parenting skills

because I'm... I'm afraid I might be arrested

for first degree smothering."

Okay. Well, it's not the best joke,

but you guys get the idea, right?

Uh, Asher, you were, uh,

saying something about a career change.

How can we make a joke out of that?

Uh, perhaps maybe, uh, you were fired

or, um, nobody wants you?

Well, I wasn't fired. I left myself.

It was like a contract job, so I chose to leave.

Okay. Sure, sure. But, but again, we're... we're,

uh, talking about exaggeration here, right?

So all we really need is just a kernel of truth.

So, um, maybe the other day,

uh, we were talking and you were telling me

about an insecurity that you have about yourself

and you thought it could be the source of humor,

so why don't we, uh, try that?

Um...

I'd, I'd rather not go into it.

Okay. Well, are, are you sure? Because again,

you know, we all know that for a joke to work,

um, we've got to be able to

stretch the truth a little, right?

We're not gonna take everything literally.

Well, there's one thing I'd like to stretch a little bit.

My penis.

Okay. Well, okay. That's a good start,

but let's try it again, but this time,

let's not literally say the subject matter, right?

Let's just hint at the subject matter.

Well, there's one... well, there's one phrase I don't...

no one ever says to me,

"Is that a banana in your pocket?"

Um, because even if I could stretch my banana,

uh, no one would think I was happy.

Okay. Well, again, I think maybe not exactly

because I mean the banana...

Oh, because you can't stretch a banana. I see, I see.

Does it really matter how he phrases it? Can we just move on?

Well, I, you know, I... I would really love for this joke

to land properly for Asher.

No, yeah, I understand, but I just, I mean,

I'm asking myself why am I paying to watch you

workshop a masturbation joke? I just wanna move on.

Okay. Well, I don't think that Asher's joke

was to invoke masturbation, right?

I mean, Asher, do you wanna go and explain your joke to everyone?

Uh, I'd prefer not to.

Well, Asher told me in private that he has a small penis

and I think that is what the joke was supposed to portray.

You know, penis size, you know,

that is a classic form of self-deprecation.

He wants to move on.

I don't understand why you keep dwelling on it.

Okay. What about even if you rub the genie bottle

really hard, you never see the genie?

Stop, okay? Stop.

Uh, I'm a man and I did not think that joke was funny.

And I work with victims of sexual assault

and I can guarantee you that joke would not land.

Let's... all right. This is a learning opportunity.

Asher told a joke that offended everyone.

So let's talk about this.

Okay, Asher, I'm gonna be blunt, right?

Um, you crossed the line and, you know,

you got to know when, uh, you're going outside the boundaries,

and that's exactly what you just did.

I guess kind of the way that you chose to phrase it,

- it was a little weird. - I didn't even want to talk about it in class.

That's why I brought it up with you privately.

So, you know, maybe we could get together

and we could have a private session,

or maybe you could have, you know,

- the next round of classes. - What are you saying?

You don't want me back in this class?

No, I do want you back. You have my email.

You know, why don't you contact me in a couple of months

and we'll get you in with the new group,

see how that goes. I mean, you know...

Sure, sure.

Are we good?

I don't need these fucking classes.

I don't need to come back to this.

If you were really funny, you wouldn't be

teaching in a fucking Legion Hall.

- Okay. - You'd be on YouTube,

like the comedians I watch. Okay?

- That's a... that's a cliche. - I don't need this shit.

- Don't say that. That's not true. - You put me in that situation.

- Relax. - Whatever, man.

Okay, dude.

I'm serious, I did, I thought my baby was a dumb baby.

But now I realize he's not dumb,

he just does dumb shit. Like I don't...

I don't like the way my son throws his tantrums.

You know, when a baby throw a tantrum,

he's supposed to fall out, cry, roll on the ground.

That's a tantrum. This is not a joke, this is for real.

It's the most retarded thing I've seen in my life.

I can't say nothing. I got to wait till he's finished

then explain to people what happened.

No, I know, exactly.

Yeah. Uh, hold on one second.

Okay. No, I know. I completely agree.

... throughout our state,

we can only hope changes come soon,

especially to this area. Monica Perez, KOE 7.

Thank you, Monica, shocking stuff.

There is nothing funny about addiction.

All right. Let's check in with Carey.

And brighten things up with forecast.

Ooh, well, I'll tell you...

You know, gambling addiction is a huge problem here

in our states and our reporting

uncovered questionable practices at Whistling River.

Monica Perez reports.

The roll of the dice, the spin of the wheel,

the turn of the card.

At any moment, you could be a winner.

But for more than 10 million Americans

who are addicted to gambling,

these images may remind them of their life savings

going down the drain.

And to prevent this from happening,

local recovering addicts like Joanna Hernandez...

rely on the New Mexico Gaming Control Board,

in collaboration with the casinos themselves,

to prevent them from playing.

They let me in, they watch me play,

and when I win, they come up to me

and tell me "We're taking your money."

After losing her daughter's college savings

through gambling seven years ago,

Ms. Hernandez joined the Gaming Control Board's

self-exclusion program, which forces casinos

like Whistling River, run by the San Pedro Pueblo

to deny entry to addicts like Ms. Hernandez.

But through our reporting, we discovered

the Gaming Control Board is not only negligent in its duty

to deny that access and protect those addicts,

but it's knowingly allowing them to play.

This security footage we obtained shows Ms. Hernandez

winning a $35,000 jackpot

at the Indian Dreaming slot machine,

at which point, several casino staff,

including an onsite inspector

from the New Mexico Gaming Control Board

appear on the casino floor.

You'll see here, the casino staff stood by

as Ms. Hernandez switched from slots to blackjack,

where her winning streak continued.

We figured out she had an accurate self-exclusion

after she won the jackpot,

but when I went to go remove her off the casino floor,

the inspector was like, "No, no, no, let's wait,

let's leave her, see how much she can win,"

like it was some sick game of his.

Watch here as the control board inspector

and an unidentified casino staffer

seemed to find delight in watching Ms. Hernandez

accumulate chips knowing full well

the casino is legally required

to confiscate everything she wins.

But one person who is not laughing is Ms. Hernandez,

as it was not until the casino

let her accumulate upwards of $70,000 in winnings

that they stepped in.

I was like, "Why? It's my money."

I won it. I'm gonna leave with those chips

because my brother's gonna come back and cash them in for me.

They tell me, "No, you have to leave those chips here."

While some casinos use facial recognition technology

to catch problem gamblers right at the door,

our reporting shows the Gaming Control Board

has dragged their feet.

Whit?

Whit? Baby?

Did you see the news?

Was that you laughing?

It was me, but she completely misrepresented what I was doing.

I was telling him he had to remove her.

That's why I was pointing.

You were patting him on the back.

I was being friendly because I was trying to persuade him.

It was extremely uncomfortable.

Why didn't you just stop her yourself?

Well, A, that's not my job.

And, B, the inspector could have been...

I mean, he could have been annoyed

and we need to maintain a good relationship

with the control board or else it could hurt the casino.

I mean, it's really hard to explain the vibe in that moment.

You know, when you said that you witnessed this,

I didn't realize that you were part of it.

How could you accuse me of being part of this?

I... I was trying to get him to remove her.

I'm... I'm the one who blew the whistle

This news story is because of me.

You wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't forced you to.

That's bullshit.

Is it bullshit?

You wouldn't do anything good

if I didn't force you to.

- There you go. - Okay. Thank you.

And we're on good timing.

- You wanna follow me? - Yeah.

So, we're gonna have you sit right here.

- Hey. - Hi.

She is.

All right. You guys good?

- Rolling. - All right.

So, all right. So, let me... let's, um,

let's start off with, um,

how's your... how's your relationship doing?

How's it all going?

Uh, ooh, um...

well, I think every relationship

reaches a point where you start to question things.

You know, that... that's normal,

everyone goes through that, you know?

You notice yourself keeping little secrets,

things that you don't share with them,

because you wonder if they'll have your back.

Uh, and you would think that if you've spent years with someone,

that eventually at some point

you'd feel like you really know them.

But honestly, maybe sometimes...

you never do.

Because you start to see these glimpses of a person

that you don't recognize, and it's... it's scary.

And you wonder, is that the real them?

Is my idea of them just a projection or is that real?

You know?

Do you ever feel like, um,

Asher is holding you back at all?

You're good at this. Um...

Because you guys are... are strong, right?

At the end of the day, you're gonna survive, right?

Next question.

- All done? - Yeah.

- Can I see in a mirror? - Sure.

- Looks good. Thanks. - Welcome.

Anyways, so I'm standing there and this guy is, like,

"Hey, you wanna fight?" And I'm like...

... and somebody goes, "Bitch! Bitch!"

And I'm like, you know, like, "I didn't say it."

- That's not good! - I swear. I didn't say it.

Hundred percent. Totally.

- Yo, what's happening? - What's funny?

Just, just some dumb story. But...

Can I hear?

- Okay. - What was it?

Okay. I have to go. You're done with me?

- All good. That was great. - Okay. Okay.

- Amazing. - You're up.

Um, we're doing Shabbat tonight, are we?

- When I get home? - I have plans.

I bought a challah on the way here.

I'll have it for breakfast.

Did you, um, buy a bunch of stuff from Iosheka Jeans?

No, I gave them the credit card,

so that if someone shoplifts, they can just charge me

instead of calling the police.

Okay.

- Yeah. - I guess that's a good idea.

- I know. - Hey, um, Asher,

we're just gonna have you,

uh, sit over here.

Okay.

Asher time!

What was the funny story?

Oh, it was just, uh, some guy who thought I wanted

to fight him because I happened to be stretching my jaw

when someone else said "bitch."

Okay.

- We good? - You better go do it because

we're a little bit over time.

Not even if we end 30 minutes early tomorrow?

- Uh-uh. Uh-uh. - Really?

No, I've asked.

Great. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Um...

So looks like we're gonna have to do you another day.

Whitney went long, so sorry about that.

But hey, at least you got some nice, uh, beautiful makeup

for your Shabbat dinner. Which I want...

I wanted to, uh, to thank you by the way.

I really, really wanted to thank you for,

for never inviting me. Not even once.

All right. You remember I'm Jewish, right?

All right. You guys don't have to stick around.

I know you don't wanna stay any longer, so...

I'm sorry about this.

Hey, don't be silly. It's, like...

it's, like, flushing money down the drain.

Can't we just do a wire?

You can just wire it to me, it's the same thing, right?

It's just a transfer.

It's gonna count against your inheritance

if I have to file a gift tax return.

Okay, fine. Just give me the cash.

Would you like me to count this out to you?

No, I'm good.

So, you have a good day.

- You, too. - Thank you.

Can you get me some receipt paper?

Can you get me some receipt paper?

Do I have to do it myself?

I know you only wanted 30 but there's 40.

That will save you a trip next time.

Well, there won't be a next time. This is the only time.

That is what I love about you.

I'm serious. This is the last time.

Look at me. I am serious. This is a loan, so add it.

You want the market interest rate or friends and family?

Very funny.

Here is the 20 that we agreed upon.

And the way that production accounting is working,

it's just easier for them to pay you in cash.

Wow.

Nice. I'm using the kitchen.

God...

Have you, um, thought any more about your work

being featured on the show?

Um, no, I haven't.

So, it's just in the home,

it's not... you're not talking about it.

It's just there, right?

No, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just in the background.

Right. I think... I'd be cool with that.

- Really? Yeah? - Yeah.

Amazing. Okay. Um...

God, it's so annoying that they make us do this.

They made me sign this exact same thing

to feature the homes on the show,

just because I guess they're, like,

considered art or whatever. Um...

so, this is the consultant contract.

So, you just sign here.

All right.

And then your address goes there.

And then you'll just do the same for the contract underneath.

Oh, my God.

I saw you have a hoop outside.

Yeah, it was, uh, there when I rented the place.

Yeah, I tried out for junior varsity but I didn't make it.

- Mm-hmm. - Do you play?

Just HORSE.

Let's play.

Right now?

Yeah, if you're free.

Yeah, I guess I'm free.

Yeah. I mean, we don't have to if you have other stuff to do.

Sure. Let's... let's do it.

Okay.

All right. So this one,

spin around until you're dizzy, five times.

- Okay. - And then your feet are off the ground,

you have to yell, "Ow!"

Okay? Ready? One, two, three,

four, five. Ow!

- Oh, you made it! - Oh!

Oh, yes!

Your turn. Exact same thing.

Let's do it. Five times, jump,

feet off the ground, shout.

H-O-R.

Was that you laughing?

It was me, but she completely

misrepresented what I was doing.

I was telling him he had to remove her.

That's why I was pointing.

You were patting him on the back.

I was being friendly

because I was trying to persuade him.

It was extremely uncomfortable.

Why didn't you just stop her yourself?

Was that you laughing?

It was me, but she completely

misrepresented what I was doing.

I was telling him we need to remove her.

That's why I was pointing.

You were patting him on the back.

But there's some makeup that you can wear in the water

so when you swim,

it will stay on after,

and you can wear it for the rest of the month

and you never have to replace it.

But how does it stick?

I don't know. It just does. It sticks on your skin.

Oh, my God! Josie!

Ms. Donna!

Are you okay?

We need a teacher!

Josie, are you okay?

No, it hurts.

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