Original subtitles

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Mrs. C., while Richie's upstairs,

I have to talk to you about something.

Oh. Well.

Will you sit down?

Is anything the matter?

Whatever it is, my son is a nice boy.

Oh, I know.

You see, I'm writing this term paper...

Hi, I'm ho... Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Lori Beth.

Hello, Mr. Cunningham.

How are you, dear?

What's the whispering for?

Well, you see, Lori Beth is writing this term paper.

Oh, oh.

Well, what's it all about?

Is it an exposé on the love life of J. Edgar Hoover?

Yes, why? Why are we whispering?

Well, sit down, Mr. Cunningham.

- Uh-huh. - Oh, honey...

You see, this paper is about

the typical American middle class family.

And Richie doesn't want me talking to you

or any of his pals because he thinks I'm trying

to find out about his old girlfriends.

I'm really not.

What, dear, is it exactly that you want to know?

Can you tell me what is it like to be middle class parents?

Well, it's just wonderful.

We get to share our children's sad

and their happy moments in their lives.

Uh, that's true.

Well, I'll tell you about the happy.

There was this exciting basketball game...

Cunningham, come on out here.

Come on out!

Cunningham in for Calvert.

Ten seconds to go and Jefferson is behind by one point.

Go!

Pass it! Pass it!

Shoot it!

Five, four, three, two...

For $3,200,

what major league baseball player

was known as the "Yankee Clipper"?

That's a snap.

It's too easy. It's a trick question.

All right, for $3,200...

- Go, Richie. - Come on, Richie, come on.

- Joe DiMaggio. - -Correct!

You have just won $3,200.

I'm better with the sad.

You know, there was... there was this time

when he was in the ROTC.

- Now that was something. - Hm.

Forward, march.

Left, left... left, right, left.

I'm so proud.

- You should be. - Left.

He's gonna be a great leader. His men hate him.

Left, left, left...

Get back.

You're pretty sick, huh son?

Well, it must have been something I ate.

Probably a salami.

You never know what they make salami out of, you know, Dad?

Yeah, that's true.

It couldn't be that you had too much to drink, now, could it?

Oh, that's silly.

All we had was some beer in...

teeny-weeny glasses.

How many teeny-weeny glasses did you have?

Seventy-two.

I think the tires are stuck.

Well, let's try rocking it.

Okay.

Hey, there's your Dad.

Oh, yeah, what a break.

Maybe he can give us a push.

- Richie! Richie! - Help!

The car! Richie!

Richie!

Richie...!

It's freezing! Oh, I'm so cold!

The water's freezing.

Do you want to buy a car?

You know, truthfully, Lori Beth,

being a parent is also a big responsibility.

I think the best thing parents can do for their children

is to give them good advice.

You know, sort of help them over the bumps.

Well, now, don't you think that it's about time

that you had that little talk with her?

Oh, Howard... why don't you talk to her?

Me? Oh, no.

Come on, now, Marion.

That's your department.

My job is to have that little talk with Richie.

And when the opportunity comes up, I will.

You haven't talked to Richard yet?

My father hasn't talked to me yet.

Tough game.

A free throw.

I missed a lousy free throw.

Well...

You make a great shot and you're a hero,

and you miss one and you're just one of the many that tried.

Well, Dad, that's not very comforting.

Look, Richard,

even the best of them have bad games.

You know, like Ralph Branca throwing up a home run ball

to Bobby Thomson in the playoffs, and...

Mickey Owens missing the third strike

and losing the World Series.

Yeah, but Dad, this game was important.

Oh.

I'll tell you something,

I think you're being a little too hard on yourself.

You know, after all, you were a hero for a week.

You had your moment,

and that's more than most people.

Guess I just... wanted it to go on.

I know.

Come on, let's go home.

Here.

Have a Life Saver. It'll make you...

A beauty contest could be a lot of fun,

- I'll bet, huh? - RICHIE and RALPH: Yeah.

But I do want to say that if you're promising any prizes

you can't deliver...

you're both gonna be in a lot of trouble.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

There are no prizes?

It's a fake!

You three boys trying to fake beauty contests?

Let's get 'em!

Aah!

Chachi, could I see you a minute?

A minute?

You got me for a lifetime, baby.

So, you finally gave up old Carrot Top

for the Passionate Italian.

What was it, my hair tonic?

Chachi, I just want to talk to you.

I'm writing this term paper.

About, uh, middle class, right?

Yeah, I wanted to get your point of view.

What would I know about middle class?

I mean, anybody who doesn't live on my block is upper class.

Well, what about the Cunninghams?

How do you get along with them?

Well, you know, they think I'm a charming kid.

What else?

I'll tell you the truth.

I get along especially well with the Cunningham women.

Wah, wah, wah.

Oh, yeah, the holiday season is coming up

and this prune pitter makes the perfect gift.

Oh, I already have a gift for Howard.

Well, maybe Mother Kelp

could use a couple of these.

Snow White, you're a vision of loveliness.

You and me, later.

I love older women.

Let's run away together.

How far can you run?

You got to be in 10:00.

I'm, uh, Chachi Arcola.

A very... good friend of Joanie's.

Who is on his way home.

Well, good night, everyone.

If you need me... you know where I'll be.

All right, so you don't want Richie

to know about this article.

I love college intrigue...

All right, look...

You want to know about middle class families, huh?

You've come to the right person,

because I happen to be an expert in this area.

Especially about the Cunninghams, you know?

All right, get out your little pencil,

I'm gonna tell you about some feats.

Some of my feats that are just gonna knock your socks off.

Let's start with my motorcycle.

I'm worried Fonzie's gonna break his neck.

No, he's not.

Well, what's all the excitement?

They're gonna jump over a shark!

He's ready to make the jump.

Am I dead?

Now, was that not a superb bit of information?

That's really terrific, Fonz,

but I need some information about the Cunninghams.

What are you talking about?

I wanted to be in your story, too.

You are, but you're not very middle class.

Whoa.

Come on, Fonz,

tell me something about the Cunninghams.

Well, they are my favorite subject, so, all right.

Tell me something special.

You want something special, huh?

All right.

Perk up your little ears,

'cause I'm gonna tell you something

that nobody knows about this family.

Nobody knows about?

You know, I'll tell you something,

I love this family as if it were my own, you know?

But they're, uh...

yeah, but they're not exactly a typical middle class family.

Now keep this under your bonnet...

but there are times when I think that they might be wacko.

♪♪

Hi! We're home.

Shh.

We're not home?

Good night, Dad.

Oh, thanks, son.

I return it.

- Now, forehand. - Go ahead.

- Backhand. - And backhand.

And return, and volley it.

And lob.

Oh, it's a lob, it's a lob.

I got it, I got it, okay...

- Can I smash it, Mom? - Don't hit the lamp.

Okay, all right, I'm gonna smash it.

All right, watch this.

RICHIE and JOANIE: Aw.

Not even gonna try and return it, huh, Fonz?

Why should I? It was out.

There's smoke coming out of Fonzie's apartment!

- And I think he's there... - A fire!

- Because I saw his bike. - What'll we do?

- Wait a minute. Now don't panic. - Oh.

Remember what your father taught us.

- Cool heads. - Oh... Right.

Each one of us has a job to do.

- I get the extinguisher. - I-I get the ladder.

I get the axe, your father calls the fire department.

- Right. - Remember?

- Cool. - Cool heads. -Cool.

Fire!

We've got a fire!

Come on brother, don't be blue.

We're the tops, Phi Kappa Nu.

PKN, PKN.

We did it before, and we can do it again! Hey!

That is a little strange.

Oh, yeah, yeah, well, you know, I...

Eventually, you get used to 'em, you know?

Now, the thing is that right now,

I consider myself to be one of the peas in their family pod.

You can write this down.

I like it. I really like it.

Yeah.

- Hey, Mr. C, Mrs. C? - Hmm?

Come over here for a minute.

I'd like to ask you a tremendous favor, okay?

Mm.

Nah, you'll probably think it's real

silly, you know.

No. No, we won't.

Come on, what is it?

Oh, how I would love it

if you would be my... godparents.

See, I-I told you you would think it was silly.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

- I'll hire somebody. - No, no.

Oh, no!

No, dear, we would be honored.

- Yeah? - Kids, did you hear that?

- Yeah. - I sure did.

And we'll do a good job, we'll show no partiality.

You'll have to be home at 6:30, just like Richard.

We will be proud to be your godparents.

Yeah.

Yeah... yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Middle class families, huh?

Did I ever tell you about Rosa Colletti?

Well, she was middle class.

- Probably still is. - Listen,

my paper's mostly about the Cunninghams,

but I think I should say something

about how the bachelor functions in the middle class society.

Well, you can truthfully say

that the bachelor is always there.

Always where?

In the thick of things.

You looking for a fight?

Wait, wait. Boys, please.

Come on, no fighting.

This is St. Patrick's Day.

Parades, gaiety, smiley faces

with all the teeth showing.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do...

A free hamburger to whoever doesn't fight.

Hey, what are we fighting about?

You heard the man.

- Free grub. -Hey. - Thanks, boss.

Thanks, man.

I thought there were just two of you.

Your informant will be in the alley.

Huh?

You won't speak to him, you won't see him.

All you'll see is his silhouette.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Get up here, huh?

All right, are you ready?

You see, it's all fuzzy, and it's a smart dog.

Eats only Arnold burgers.

Hey, hey, it's my dog. I'll describe her.

She's about one, six, and she's about, uh, hairy.

- Yeah? - And-and female.

Yeah?

And-and... and she looks like this right here.

Look at that. She got... she got droopy cheeks.

Droopy cheeks. Yeah.

- Sad eyes, you know? - Sad eyes. Sad eyes.

Think that does it.

How's that?

A paper on middle class families.

Boy, I'm glad I didn't get stuck with that one.

Tell me about your family, Pots.

Oh, they're really nice.

Except maybe my father.

Oh, hey, Adriana, we already met.

My name's Potsie. Uh...

you get gas at my father's station? Hi.

Hi, I didn't know Mr. Weber had a son.

He doesn't tell anyone.

We're going to have to pay more rent now.

Aw, that's okay.

My dad will pay anything to keep me out of the house.

At home, my pop makes me eat on paper plates.

My pop makes me eat out on the porch.

Well, Mr. C, don't give up yet.

I'm gonna talk some more to my dad.

Yeah, I'm gonna talk to my dad, too.

It'll be the first time in six months.

So, you don't want me to tell Richie

that you spoke to me about your term paper, huh?

I can see why he'd be jealous.

Ralph, I'm just writing a story.

Yeah, I know.

About middle class.

All right, all right.

Just tell me something.

Why do you want to talk about the Cunninghams, anyway?

I have a great family. Look at my father and me.

You know, we have a great relationship.

You're really gonna like my dad.

- And you know why? - No.

'Cause he's just like me.

- Hiya, Ralph. - Hiya, Pop.

Sorry to keep you fellas waiting.

I accidentally fell into my lens grinder

and made a spectacle of myself.

- My boy, Ralphie, huh? - Right, Pop.

- Right. - Well, we better

hit the road, Ralphie.

- Okay, Dad. - Uh!

- Let's give 'em one. - Okay, Dad.

Hey, Dad,

you know, I just came back from Africa,

and I played cards with the natives.

Zulus?

No, I won.

Hah-cha-cha!

Oh.

Hey, Pop?

Pop, I'm leaving.

Oh!

You did it again, Ralph.

I... I still got it, Pop.

Hey, hey, let's go home and scare your mother.

All right.

It's okay, Lori Beth.

I checked upstairs. Richie's not there.

Okay, good.

Now, tell me, Joanie.

What is it like growing up in this environment?

It was nice. Real nice.

To me, it was a... great learning experience.

Listen, we got a little

problem here... I'm sure that we can all solve it.

Yeah.

I think that if...

if you want to solve this problem, I...

I've always wondered what it looked like in here.

It's a lot bigger than I thought.

I think I'll just wait outside.

Joanie, wouldn't you rather watch television?

No, this is fine.

Oh, Joanie, why don't you go in the kitchen with your folks?

Yeah, why don't you go in there and see what they're doing?

Maybe they'd like to watch television.

Richie's gonna neck.

Richie's gonna neck.

Oh, you guys are really mi... Wow!

What's going on out there?

The same thing that's going on in here.

Let's go, Rhonda.

The coast is clear.

My sister's asleep, and my folks won't be home for hours.

No, no, no...

not here.

We'll go up to my room.

Don't wake up my little sister.

She'd want to watch.

Whoop!

You can't even wait, you little devil.

Oh, well, good luck with your paper.

Thanks.

Um, and listen...

if you tell really juicy stories about us,

maybe they'll print it in Confidential.

Richie!

So you're writing the article anyway, huh?

Oh, boy, I asked you. I...

Well, I'll bet you everybody's telling you

all about my old girlfriends now, aren't they?

Richie, I don't want to know about your old girlfriends.

Yeah, sure. All right, I'll tell you myself.

It's better that way.

It may sting a little, bucko, 'cause there were plenty of 'em.

I, uh... I guess this is good night, then.

Uh-huh.

I had a nice time anyway.

Who is it?

Oh.

Hi. Uh, I was wondering

if you could settle a bet that my friends and I have.

See, we each bet five bucks

on what flavor lipstick you're wearing.

Which is it?

Well...

why don't you figure it out for yourself?

Strawberry.

Run for your life. That chick's father's coming up the stairs.

- Oh, my God! He'll kill me! - Oh...

All right, all right, just cool it, cool it, cool it, cool it.

- Get dressed. - Right.

- Where is your coat? - My coat's right over...

- It's in the bed! - That's my boy! That...

Oh...

Just thought I'd... drop in.

You know... you have a very nice viola.

The doorbell keeps ringing.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's-it's me again.

I have a habit of leaning...

I'll be right in, Mom.

All right. It's very nice to have met you.

Nice meeting you.

Your father has a lovely hardware store.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, wait. No! Don't do that! Hey!

Fonzie, a girl just threw War and Peace at me!

Hit me in the head!

You really like kissing, huh?

No, it's the steering wheel... It's killing my hip!

- My knee! - Sorry.

Get back in the front seat!

Here we go... Stand over there, so...

I guess this is, uh, good night now.

Oh.

Bet you're sorry

you asked old smooth Cunningham about his girlfriends now.

Richie, I didn't want to know about your old girlfriends.

You didn't have to tell me.

I mean, you had old girlfriends just like I had old boyfriends.

Right. Well...

You had old boyfriends?

Sure I did.

So what?

Now we have each other.

Yeah.

Let's study.

Yeah, let's study.

Chapter 28.

Chapter 28.

- Let's take a break. - Right.

How many old boyfriends?

Never mind.

And it's my conclusion that the typical American family

is alive and well and living in Milwaukee.

Now that dinner's over, let's try out the piano.

- Oh. - Good.

I am taking requests.

How about "Rock Around The Clock," Mom?

That's a little after my time, Joanie.

Yeah. Sweetheart, play my favorite, will you?

"Moonlight Bay"?

"Moonlight Bay" coming up.

♪ ...long ♪ That's it.

♪ On Moonlight Bay ♪

♪ Not the river, but the bay ♪

♪ We could hear the voices singing ♪

♪ They seemed to say ♪

♪ Seemed to say, seemed to say ♪

♪ You have stolen my heart ♪

♪ Now don't go 'way... ♪

I love middle class families.

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪ - ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪