Original subtitles

? Sunday, Monday, happy days ?

? Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ?

? Thursday, Friday, happy days ?

? The weekend comes, my cycle hums ?

? Ready to race to you ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Happy and free ? - ? Oh, happy days ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Share them with me ? - ? Oh, baby ?

? Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ?

? There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ?

? It feels so right it can't be wrong ?

? Rocking and rolling all week long ?

? Sunday, Monday, happy days ?

? Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ?

? Thursday, Friday, happy days ?

? Saturday, what a day ?

? Groovin' all week with you ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Share them with me ? - ? Oh, happy days ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Happy and free ? - ? Oh, baby ?

? These happy days are yours and mine ?

? These happy days are yours ?

? And mine, Happy Days! ?

Happy Days is filmed before a studio audience.

? You've got the lips that I'm mad about ?

? Wah, wah-ooh ?

? I got the lips that will knock you out ?

? Oh, wild one, be wild about me ?

Take it, guys.

??

? You little doll, all you do is play ?

? Wah, wah-ooh ?

? You got a new baby every day ?

? Someday, it's gonna be ?

? Me, me, and only me ?

? Yeah, wild one ?

? I'll make you settle down ?

? Settle down ?

? Now, wild one ?

? Well, I'll clip your wings and things ?

? You got the lips that I'm mad about ?

? Wah, wah-ooh ?

? I got the lips that will knock you out ?

? Oh, wild one, be wild about me ?

? Come on, wild one, be wild about me. ?

Let's hear it for Milwaukee's velvet cloud, Potsie Webber!

I want a special hand for our new drummer, Chachi Arcola!

Thank you, thank you very much.

All right, that concludes this set.

But I want you to stick around, because in the next set,

we're gonna have Leather Tuscadero and the Suedes!

Okay.

And the band!

Us!

We're-we're gonna have the group!

The-the guys who play the instruments!

We got to get a name, guys.

Hey, Pots, see those two cuties over there?

Oh, yeah. One of them crossed her eyes at me.

You know what that means.

Yeah, the other one's mine.

- Oh, hi, Joanie. - Oh, Rich, hi.

Aren't Mom and Dad coming tonight?

Oh, yeah, they're gonna be here.

They're having dinner

with that friend of Dad's and his new wife.

But they said they'd be here for the second set.

Aw, darn, not the second show.

I mean, that's when all the hunks show up.

Looks like another hunkless evening.

You've been annoyed all the way over here.

Now, I don't know why Wally divorcing Corrine

should bother you.

Well, Corrine happens to be my good friend.

He dumped her for a child bride.

Oh, Marion, she's an adult.

Oh, sure, all adults say, "Oh, neato.

"So nice to meet you, Marion.

"Neato! My first French restaurant!

Oh! Oh!"

Marion, you're making a scene.

Besides, you're exaggerating.

She may have said "neato," but her feet never left the ground.

- Hi, hi, hi, hi. - Hi, Al.

You look so dashing and elegant tonight.

Especially you, Mrs. C.

Alfred, what would you call

a 47-year-old man who marries a 23-year-old girl?

I'd call him a lucky guy.

Alfred, I'm surprised at you.

A cradle robber.

I would call him a cradle robber.

That's not cradle robbing.

She happens to be a 23-year-old schoolteacher

who's a very lovely young woman.

And who goes, "Neato, neato, neato!"

She does?

Wh-What-What'll you guys have?

Well, I'll just have some hot tea.

Me, too, Al. Thanks.

You know, you were staring at her all evening.

Lemon or milk with your tea?

I was not staring, I was just looking.

Now, there is a difference between staring and looking.

Milk or lemon?

Yes, you look at me; you were staring at her.

I'll bring lemon and milk.

I wasn't staring, I was just being friendly.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Just being friendly again, dear?

Marion, I didn't even look at her.

I know, but it was the way you didn't even look at her.

Oh...

Hi, Mom, Dad. I'm glad you could make it.

- Richard. - Hello, Richard.

I think.

Well, how was the dinner party?

- Fine. - Oh, just dreadful.

Huh?

Your mother's got a headache.

Your father's friends gave it to me.

Okay. Uh, I hate to rush off.

I don't want to spoil your evening or anything.

Poor Corrine.

She was loving and loyal to Wally for 18 years.

No, they were never happy, Marion.

As a matter of fact,

it was Corrine who filed for the divorce.

Are you gonna rob the cradle when I'm over the hill, Howard?

Ladies and gentlemen,

now for our second set of the evening,

I want to hear a very warm welcome home

for Leather Tuscadero and the Suedes!

? Well, a little lady was raised down in Baton Rouge ?

- ? Wah-ooh ? - ? She was fooled ?

? She was born to lose ?

- ? Wah-ooh ? - ? She could be seen ?

? Keeping company wherever she went... ?

Would you mind?

He can't see the little girlies.

? She said, "I may be too young to fall in love ?

? But I'm still hanging round" ?

? She said, "I may be too young to fall in love ?

? But I'm still hanging round" ?

? I'm waiting for you ?

? I'm just waiting for you ?

? I said I'm waiting for you, you ?

? I'm just waiting for you ?

??

? Well, you know what those ?

- ? Louisiana nights will do ? - ? Wah-ooh ?

? To a backstreet girl with the Southern blues ?

- ? Wah-ooh ? - ? 15 have passed ?

? Straight out of school ?

- ? Wah-ooh ? - ? She was hard to handle ?

? She was easy to fool, they said ?

? "Go, go, go, little lady" ?

? Too old to scold and too young to choose ?

- ? Wah-ooh ? - ? The lady was fooled ?

? Born to lose ?

- ? Wah-ooh ? - ? And in town ?

? They talk about her down in Baton Rouge ?

? She said, "I may be too young ?

? To fall in love, but I'm still hanging round" ?

? She said, "I may be too young to fall in love ?

? But I'm still hanging round," I'm waiting for you ?

? I may be too young to fall in love ?

? I'm just waiting for you ?

? She said, I may be too young to fall in love ?

? I said I'm waiting for you, you ?

? She said, I may be too young to fall in love ?

? I'm just waiting for you ?

? She said, I may be too young to fall in love ?

? She said, I may be too young to fall in love ?

? I'm just a-waiting for you ?

? I may be too young to fall in love ?

? She said, "I'm waiting for you, you" ?

? I may be too young to fall in love ?

? I'm just waiting for you. ?

Oh, Leather and the Suedes... Aren't they wonderful, Marion?!

Yes, they're okay.

Okay? They're better than okay.

They're terrific!

Howard Cunningham, if you think

those young cupcakes are so wonderful,

maybe you should just stay here with them!

I want you to hang around for more

from Leather and the Suedes!

- Wait a minute! - Uh...

He's going out to tell all his friends!

Burnt toast.

Lumpy oatmeal.

I guess mom still has her, uh, her headache?

She'll get over it.

You know, Richard, I've been thinking about investing

in some beachfront property down in Florida.

Then when it comes time for me to retire,

your mother and I can just move down there

and live among the palm trees.

Would you like that, Marion?

Drink your milk, Richard.

Oh, Howard, I think that's a terrific idea!

I knew you'd like it, sweetheart.

Dad, I hate to interrupt your conversation,

but, uh, I'm gonna get while the getting's good.

Dad, just better watch out for her left.

Sweetheart, I got to stop off at Hearn's Hardware Supply

and pick up a case of sledgehammers,

so I'm gonna be a little late tonight.

All right, Marion.

So Wally Moss married a 23-year-old girl.

Now, what can I say, huh?

I'll see you tonight.

Mom?

Oh, Mom, uh...

will you fix the elastic on my beret?

Oh, where's my math book?

I left it on the table.

Oh, here's your math book, dear.

Just the way you like it, nice and cold.

Mom!

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

I'm just all turned around.

Oh.

- You know, you look tired. - I do?

Yeah. Maybe you should start taking naps after breakfast

like Grandma Kelp.

Grandma Kelp?

Mm. Well, I better go.

Binky Hodges is waiting to carry my books for me.

See you, Mom.

Hope he has gloves.

- Joanie. - Yeah?

Am I over the hill?

I'll bite. Are you?

- I'm not joking. - Oh.

And what about your father? Is he?

Dad? Over the hill?

Are you kidding?

He still plays catch with Richie,

and he's still one of the guys.

Well, Binky's waiting, Mom.

I'll see you later.

Yeah, well, good-bye, dear.

Well, I guess Howard is still one of the guys.

I used to be one of the girls.

Well, if he wants a young chick, I can give him a young chick.

I can be like Peggy Sue.

Neato! Neato! Neato!

Oh, he's gonna dump me for a youngie.

He's gonna dump me for a youngie.

? John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ?

? His name is my name, too ?

? Fa, la-la ?

? Whenever you go out, you can hear the people shout ?

? "There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" ?

? Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop ?

? John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt... ?

Dad, Dad.

- What? - Five times is enough.

Oh.

But you're a great guy to have around.

Yeah!

You're really lots of fun.

Yeah!

Well, that's the secret of staying young, you know, Rich.

Having fun. Right, Al?

Yeah. You betcha, Howie.

Where's my dreamboat?

Ah, there he is.

Hi, there, leather cutie.

Come on, Howie, let's dance.

The night's young and so are we.

Yeah.

Say, what do you say you and I

get together after the concert, huh?

Oh, sure, Howie.

I'll just tell Fabian I'm busy.

Ah, the poor devil.

Can't beat that Howie charm, huh?

You know it.

I'll catch you later.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

Here you go, guy.

And no charge.

The girls in the next booth picked up the tab.

Aw, thank them for me, will you, Al?

And tell them you'll put them on my waiting list, huh?

I may have an opening the beginning of the year.

You got it, Howie. He's got it.

??

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

We're tearing these girls apart, here.

All right, he's yours.

Howie!

Well... I finally met my match.

I bend my thumb to you.

Aw, don't worry, Fonz.

Don't worry, there's plenty to go around.

Yeah, I know, but, Howie...

I'm sorry. Sorry.

If you ever find yourself getting tired

or that you got an excess, would you send them my way?

You got it, Fonz.

Oh, whoa. Oh, whoa. Oh, whoa.

Ah, youth.

Oh, Howard, what are you eating?

You'll spoil your dinner.

Oh, don't worry about it, Mom.

I'm gonna eat here.

What?!

I'm your wife, not your mother!

I'm still gonna eat here.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement.

All the girls, once again,

have elected my dad, Howie Cunningham,

the Biggest Hunk of the Year award.

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, I've lost my husband.

I've lost my husband.

Hey, Mrs. C.,

I just came to fill my... my thermos full of coffee.

What?

Mrs. C., I just came to fill up my thermos.

Uh-oh, I caught you daydreaming, huh, Mrs. C.?

Oh, Arthur, what am I gonna do?

Uh, about what, Mrs. C.?

About Howard running off with a younger lady.

Whoa!

Hey, I-I don't think my ears are in alignment.

Did you just say that Mr. C.

Is running off with a younger lady?

Not a lady, a child.

I mean, he hasn't, yet, but he is going to soon.

I don't think we're on the same wavelength here.

- Oh, Arthur... - Yeah?

- Arthur, tell me something. - Yeah.

Don't all men want to have a young chick

when their wives get old and rickety?

- What? - I mean, when they get all bored

with the same routine day in and day out

and day out and day in

and year after year and women get wrinkles and they get old

and they don't look good anymore, gray hair.

Wait, wait, hold it. Whoa!

Men always look good and distinguished.

All right, I think that you're letting

your imagination run amok with you here.

Now, in the first place, Mrs. C., you're not old.

- I'm not old? - No.

How about rickety?

Hey, you're not rickety, either.

Plant yourself, will you?

Now, look at that: no noise.

Let me tell you something.

If you think that your old man

is spinning his wheels, you know,

there is no law, Mrs. C.,

against trying something different, you know?

Springing something new on him every now and then

to keep that fire burning, so to speak.

Get my drift here?

You take it black, right?

- Oh, yes, thank you, Arthur. - Yeah. All right.

You mean something different?

- Yes. - Well, I don't

think that Howard would go for...

Like what?

All right, couple of weeks ago,

uh, the Hooper triplets... You know, my dates...

They wanted to try something different.

They came over to my house

dressed as Huey, Dewey and Louie, right?

And I got to tell you something, I spent a month vacuuming...

vacuuming up those feathers, uh, if you get my drift.

Oh, Arthur, I couldn't dress up like a duck.

No, I-I guess not.

Mr. C. would have you carted away.

All right, you don't have to be as creative

as my chicks, you know, but, uh...

Hey, I heard a story once

about this, uh, this chick Sherezee... Sherraza...

Scheherazade?

That's it.

The Arabian Nights?

Yeah, something like that.

Yes, I know that.

In order to save her life,

every night she read the sheik a different story.

And she danced and she pleased him

in many and various ways.

Yeah.

And he liked it so much

he started to forget about lopping off her gourd, right?

- Yeah. - Well, I guess

I could try something different to save my gourd.

Are you kidding, Mrs. C.?

Mr. C. comes through those doors, right there,

oh, you'll be right there

to put a snap in his trunks, huh?

Oh, Arthur... thank you.

Hey.

Oh, why not?

Neato. I'll do it.

I'm home, sweetheart.

I've only got time for a quick bite.

I got to get back down to the hardware supply house.

Would you believe they sent me headless sledgehammers?

Did you hear me, Marion?

They sent me some headless sledgehammers.

Somebody stole our dining room set.

What happened to my chair...?

Marion!

What's going on around here?

Marion?

Is that you, Marion?

I am the Princess Fatima.

Welcome to the garden of delight...

my sheik.

I think maybe I ought to come in again.

No!

Uh, stay right where you are, my handsome devil.

The evening is ours.

It is just you and me, sahib.

The children are out.

I think you're out, too, Marion.

Oh, come on, Howard.

Just enjoy it.

Come on, don't be a party pooper.

Well, at least she's talking to me.

All right, Fatima, what's for dinner?

The sheik's in a big hurry.

Couscous.

I think you're the only one around here

who's "couscous," Marion.

My handsome devil has wit.

Now... make yourself comfortable.

Well, why should I sit on the floor

when we've got perfectly good furniture... somewhere?

If you don't sit down, you don't eat.

Oh...

Marion, I'll sit down if you let go of my leg.

Now, where's the silverware? I'm in a hurry.

What silverware?

I'm gonna feed you.

I'm not in that much of a hurry.

How about a grape, Howard?

Oh... Let me tell you a story.

Many years ago in Arabia...

Marion, will you come back to Milwaukee!

Now what's this all about?

Where did you get that outfit?

From Jenny Piccalo's mother.

She said she wouldn't be needing it back until Veterans' Day.

Strange woman.

Both of you.

Oh, I wanted the Little Bo Peep outfit,

but Mrs. Piccalo was wearing it.

That figures.

- Have a banana, Howard. - Oh!

Marion, what are you trying to do to me,

for goodness sake?

Oh, isn't this fun?

I got to get the phone, Marion. I haven't got time for this.

How about a grape?

Marion!

Oh, that's it!

Bit rough with me!

Is that you, Floyd?

Yeah, I'm on my way over there.

Yeah, I'm gonna bring down the sledgehammers.

Marion, will you stop it with the veil?

Nails?

No, I didn't say anything about nails.

No, Fatima here is trying to put a veil over...

Never mind, Floyd.

- Goochy, goochy, goo! - Stop it.

Goochy, goochy, goo!

Stop it!

No, no, I'm not laughing at you, Floyd.

Marion, will you go out

and feed the camel, for goodness sake?

Marion, stop this!

This is an important call.

- Yeah, Floyd? - Oh.

And I'm not important?

Uh-huh...

Floyd, can I call you back?

I got a handful of couscous.

Oh, Marion, what is going on around here?

What's the matter with you?

Marion, will you stop rearranging the furniture!

I'm sorry.

You want a fast dinner?

Right.

Here it is.

And if you don't like it,

maybe you and Wally Moss can pick up a couple of chicks

and go and eat at Disneyland.

What on earth are you talking about?

Well, that's what you're planning, isn't it?

You're gonna dump me

and you're gonna get somebody young and exciting

like little Peggy Sue who will kindle your flame.

Neato.

My flame is kindled enough.

Now where did you ever get a cockamamie idea like this?

Because you're bored and because I... don't...

tickle your fancy anymore.

Don't tell me you don't tickle my fancy.

I'll tell you that

and I'll tell you something else.

You're gonna dump me because I'm middle-aged.

Well, of c...

of course you're middle-aged.

- Oh... - And so am I.

And it was always my plan that we would grow old together.

But in a larger room.

Marion, I am perfectly content

to live out my life with you.

Oh, Howard.

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Oh, what am I doing in this silly outfit?

My husband loves me.

Come here.

Well, one thing's for sure:

we raised a smart family.

Now, I'm gonna run those hammers over and I'll be right back.

Your harem will be waiting.

The hammers can wait!

? Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ?

? There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ?

? It feels so right, it can't be wrong ?

? Rockin' and rollin' all week long ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Happy and free ? - ? Oh, happy days ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Share them with me ? - ? Oh, baby ?

? These happy days are yours and mine ?

? These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ?