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[birds chirping]

PRATAH: DARSHAN - BANK ACCOUNTS SEALED IN VAIBHAVLAKSHMI BANK

[bike approaching]

[tense music playing]

[clamoring]

I said, step back!

Hey! Just stop!

-Fifteen years ago… -This right now…

Please move behind.

Just wait. Be patient.

[guard] Move back.

[Mishra] I want to meet the manager.

All of you are holding lathis and guns as if… Do you think we are criminals now?

Have patience, sir.

[guard] Be patient.

Ask the manager to come out. Or else we'll take the ATM with us.

-Please wait… -Absolutely right.

If the manager doesn't come out now, let's take the ATM with us!

-[clamoring] -What are you talking about?

Just a minute. Don't create a law-and-order situation.

I'll have to call the police.

[customer] How can you shut the bank?

I did not decide to shut the bank.

If someone took a loan and defaulted, what am I to do?

What is he saying?

Take the matter to the court, fight! There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry.

-Manager sahab! -[in Hindi] What're you saying, Manager?

[in English] Let's take the ATM machine!

Go back! Move back!

Stop it, stop it!

What's the point of taking the machine? Let me talk to Manager.

Please listen to me, Manager sahab.

[voice trembling] Manager, all my life's savings are in this bank.

All of what I have earned honestly. And it's all in your bank.

I'll be completely ruined. Ma…

Manager sahab, please do something. You have to do something please.

I can't do anything about it.

-Manager sahab! -[people clamoring]

[guard] Leave! Leave! Move, I said.

Move, I said! Move!

[people clamoring]

[in Hindi] Move!

[grunt echoes] Ah!

[grunts] Ah! Ah! [straining]

[baton thuds]

-Uh! [groans] -[baton thudding]

[groans]

[baton thuds repeatedly]

[Mishra heaves]

-[baton thuds] -[Mishra's scream echoes] Ah!

[man in Hindi] ♪ Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪

♪ Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪

♪ A gentleman sitting atop The yellow wheel of time cycle ♪

♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪

♪ He was looking for sweets But all he got was a bitter pill ♪

♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪

♪ In the exam called life He gets 0 out of 10 ♪

♪ This is his destiny Meet the common man ♪

♪ Noida, Noida, Noida Spiral, Spiral, Spiral, Spiral Wheel ♪

[in English] What's the matter, Mishraji?

You're late today?

Did you go to the bank first thing in the morning? Hmm?

Sir, everything has been frozen now.

All this has happened because of corruption.

Yes, corruption, man. A very bad thing. Bloody corruption!

But had you been corrupt, you would have cash today.

-[pensive music playing] -[Varshney] Hmm? Cash in hand!

CA topper and all. I'm sure you understand.

Sir, but I earned that money through a lot of hard work and integrity.

Exactly!

That's why hard work and integrity isn't the number one choice!

The man who makes sure he has an umbrella before the monsoon season

doesn't get drenched in the rain.

You understand what I'm saying? Hmm?

Am I saying the wrong thing? Huh, Mishra?

-Am I not right? -Yes.

[Varshney] Where are you going?

Well, now that you're late, your salary will be deducted for half a day.

-Sir? -It's out of my hands. It's the rule.

I must also show that I am quite an honest man.

I expect you of all people to appreciate it, huh?

[low, pensive music playing]

Hmm?

What are you looking at? Okay, get to work. Go, go.

[indistinct lively chatter]

What did he say? Will the company do something?

Department, appeal, court case, signature campaign, anything?

Lalitaji, I… I didn't ask him anything.

[lively office chatter, laughter]

Just look at these people.

[lively banter]

Who is going to appeal?

[banter continues]

Who will stand up with me in court if we file a case?

Lalitaji, none of these people need this.

[pensive music playing]

Everybody has smartly arranged for an umbrella.

[music continues]

-Thank you, sir. -Hey, wait, before you go.

Close your eyes.

-[sighs] -[draw opens]

Put your hand out.

Open.

Why are you acting so cheap?

I'd asked you for an iPhone 7, not its cover.

-[clatters] -[quirky music playing]

But you will also need a cover for the iPhone 7, right?

So I saved you the trouble and got the cover first.

The iPhone 7 is also on its way.

That's what I was wondering. We haven't even done it seven times.

Why would you gift it to me before that? Can I go?

My! My! Stay for some time. Hey, wait.

Yes, yes, yes, yes! I'm coming.

I'm leaving right now.

Yes, coming.

Mishraji, all okay?

It was a call from school. My children have created some trouble.

Uh, you go ahead. Give me all your files. I'll manage them.

Go ahead, please go.

-[desk bell rings] -[door opens]

Ma'am, their father is here.

Namaste, ma'am.

[muted]

[tense music playing]

[music intensifies]

[music crescendos]

Hey!

That's why I told you, "Please don't call Papa."

He always faints when he sees blood.

[scoffs] Bhai Sahab, you turned out to be quite fainthearted.

Will you be able to discipline your children?

Your daughter bit my son's ear till it bled.

What if he'd gone deaf?

Bhai Sahab?

He's overreacting, isn't it? Right?

Uh, ma'am, but, uh,

my children's uniforms are also dirty, am I right?

Something must have surely happened between the children, right?

-I'm sure both are responsible. -Stop favoring your children, Mr. Mishra.

The fault is theirs.

This is a very good school and a reputed one!

Yes, Madam Principal.

Heard? What Madam Principal said?

Reputation is everything.

-[voice trembling] But, Papa-- -Beta!

Beta, Papa is very stressed out.

Don't stress him out more. Okay?

Say you're sorry. Okay?

[melancholic music playing]

Come on, both of you, come on, say sorry.

No, just say sorry.

I'm asking you to say it right now!

Sorry.

Rohan?

Rohan.

Sorry.

Okay, they said sorry. So now the matter is resolved, right?

Matter is not resolved, Mr. Mishra.

I'm imposing a fine on both the children, 50 percent of their school fees.

Ma'am, ma'am, 50 percent is too much, ma'am.

I don't have that much--

By the way, you haven't paid the school fees either.

Today is the last day.

Or you'll be fined on that also.

Please pay the fees and the fine by tomorrow.

Understood?

Papa, you made us say sorry again this time.

Why don't you ever take our side?

You're not a strong papa at all.

[Ritu] Sandy beats up Bhaiya every day.

Don't forget to pay the fees tomorrow.

Or else Sandy and his friends will bully us and beat us up again.

[pensive music playing]

Go. Go to your class.

[Shambhu] The policy I gave you last time was a different one.

I've issued new policies for everyone in the colony.

You're the only one who has this policy.

-[mobile buzzing] -[conversation continues in living room]

-Hello. -[Mishra] Ashoklata.

Yes, were you able to arrange for it? Any update yet?

-No, nothing. -Are you out of office right now?

-I came to the school. -School? Why? Are the kids all right?

Well, I had to sort out their fees and all.

By the way, Amma-Bauji had called.

I need to arrange for the money by this evening.

How will we do it?

I really don't know, Ashoklata.

That's our money in the bank and they won't allow us to touch any of it?

[Shambhu] You're losing at cards. You need coverage for this.

Okay, listen, actually, Shambhu has come over to our place.

Shall I ask him to lend us some money?

Think about what you're saying.

A jija looks after his saala. You want me to accept charity from him?

I'll figure out something. You stop worrying about it.

We'll manage somehow.

[message chimes]

THE CONSTRUCTION WORK HAS STARTED, SON. SEND THE MONEY.

[Shambhu] It's not an expensive premium. 13,277 only!

And here is my move.

Rehana Appa, renew your policy now and secure your own future.

I'll come over for Eid, I will eat sevaiyan and bring you a gift.

[scoffs]

-Saudi Arabian riyals are coming in? -Yes.

-[Shambhu] Am I right? -[Rehana] Right.

[Shambhu] I'm booking a policy for both. Give the cash to Jiji.

[Rehana and Mrs. Goel] Okay.

Better finish your juice. Drink it.

[Mrs. Goel] Ashoklata, how much are you planning for your next move?

I have as much at stake as you do.

No matter what happens, I have to win today.

Jiji, I'm leaving my bag here right now.

It's not safe to carry it around with all this cash.

I'll pick it up tomorrow.

Keep playing! I'm done for now.

-Play your best, bhabhiji, Appa! -[Mrs. Goel chuckles]

[Rehana] Yes. Yes.

[tense music playing]

[Mishra's Dad, echoes] Tribhuvan! Oh, Tribhuvan! We're completely ruined!

We have lost our respect, Beta!

[Mishra's Dad] Our home is totally destroyed. Beta Tribhuvan!

-Get out from here! -[mocking laughter echoing]

[laughter echoes]

[laughter continues]

[principal] If you can't afford the fees, why did you choose such a good school?

[Ritu sniffles] Papa.

[horn honks]

[Indian clarinet playing wedding music]

[tense music playing]

[music intensifies]

-[rope creaking] -[brakes screeching]

[exhales]

-[man] Sahab, rope! -[gasps]

Hey! A rope. Why are you giving me a rope?

It's a skipping rope, sahab!

Uh, sahab, what's wrong?

[in Hindi] Ropes for sale!

Ropes for sale!

[man yelps] Ah! [whimpers]

[in English] I'm going to break your balls!

Stop, bastard! Stop!

-[man gasps] -[Jhatka] Stop, fucking rat! Motherfucker.

-[panting] -Hey!

[Jhatka] Want me to become Milkha?

Motherfucker! Stop!

-[fast-paced music playing] -[panting]

[whimpering]

[diabolic music playing]

[whimpering]

What was the point of running that marathon? We followed him in a car.

Come on, just sit.

Hey, sit in the car!

You're acting too smart, huh?

We're not supposed to shoot him, Lappu. We have to recover the ransom money.

It's a contract to capture. Not to kill.

-I was only scaring him, Raja Bhai. -[whimpering]

Sit, fucker!

Hey, fire a shot, Lappu, or this fucker won't get in line.

Come on.

-[Lappu] Should I fire? -[gunshot]

Fucker!

[diabolic music playing]

Hey, this man is our captive.

-My foot! He belongs to you, motherfucker? -Hey, motherfucker!

[Dhaincha] Get in the car!

[Lappu] Motherfucker!

I will open fire and shoot your balls off.

-Bloody fucker! -[grunts]

What the fuck is this confusion?

How dare you fire at Raja Bhai, motherfucker!

[bullets whizzing]

-[gunshots] -[bullets ricocheting]

-Hello. -[man] Yes, Raja Bhai.

How could you give one contract to two different people?

Raja Bhai, actually, there was some confusion.

I gave the contract to you, and my wife called Ehsaan Bhai for the job.

What is this bullshit?

Isn't there any kind of coordination, between husband and wife?

Wait a minute, adding you to a conference call.

[buzzing]

-Yes, what is it? -Ehsaan Qureshi is also on the line.

-Tell us, whose contract is this? -Speak up. Whose contract is this?

-[bullet ricochets] -This place has become a battlefield!

Bastard, if Raja Bhai gets one scratch, I'll fucking bury all of you right here!

In the heat of this argument, don't let the truth come out

that we have given the tip. He's our Mausi's brother-in-law.

We followed this man in our SUV because of you, you understand?

-We've burned diesel for you. -Oh, really? What do you think?

Our SUVs run on piss? Yeah? Fucker!

We have also burned diesel! And this man belongs to us!

Let me speak.

You both give it your best shot. Whoever catches him first wins.

[indistinct exchanges]

Don't let him get away!

Whoever catches him gets the contract.

-[Raja Bhai] Catch him alive! -Come on!

We'll get him, bastard!

[Dhaincha] Hey! I'll shoot you!

-Stop, motherfucker, stop! -You wait right there.

-Stop -[whimpering] Eh, eh!

Hey, cripple, you wanna race with me? Come on, cripple.

Come on, cripple. let's race. I'll slow down my pace. Come on.

Motherfucker! How dare you call Lappu a cripple?

-[bones crunching] -[scream echoes]

[birds cawing]

We won't forget this, Jain sahab.

You think you can steal my client from under my nose?

We won this contract Ehsaan Miyaan. Get over it.

Hmm.

Call my friend a cripple now? Hmm?

Go on.

Okay then, Ehsaan sahab.

After all, there can be only one king who will rule Noida.

Come on, let's go.

-[upbeat music playing] -Come on!

-[upbeat music playing over speakers] -[indistinct chatter]

[man] Welcome, Mishraji.

Welcome.

Have a seat.

Count the cash.

-[breathless] Hey! -What's the matter? Don't be afraid.

Here, no one will steal it. Huh?

It's 20 lakhs. Please count it.

[mouthing]

I need four and a half, that's all. I don't need more.

Mishraji, you are a really simple guy.

-What do they say? -Chugad.

Chugad is the word.

Come on, it's not any kind of help.

It's a deal. You should keep all the cash.

And of course, I will need your autograph right here.

You know, the rate is 20 lakh, sir!

I don’t need a rupee over four and a half lakhs, okay?

I don't want this.

And this file of yours, bring it to the office.

I will make sure it's stamped. I'll make sure it's signed.

And there will not be any audit.

-But you have to be careful. -Hmm.

[whispers] You know, that no one in the office finds out about this.

In our country, the middle class is quite strange.

If you are honest, they call you an idiot,

and if you are dishonest, a crook.

Four and a half.

[suspenseful music playing]

Okay? Is this all right?

Huh?

[indistinct chatter]

Take this, your bill.

15,000?

It is just a plaster, bhai, or a new leg?

I had asked you about insurance.

If he had it, all this would have been free.

Wouldn't have to pay a rupee.

-Hey! -[whimpers]

Couldn't you be a little careful? Your stupidity cost me 15,000!

Agarwal Builder might have a good way out of this.

Want to talk to him?

Call him, Asthana.

Are you gonna keep counting the money? Stop it now.

Let me count it.

I was worried all day about how we were going to manage all this.

I still can't believe it.

Thank God your office gave you cash in advance.

And we could get out of this mess.

I've also sent money to Amma and Bauji today.

[insects chirping]

[low, dramatic music playing]

[music intensifies]

[reporter] We don't know how many will pay the price of this corruption.

[Ansal] I will need your autograph right here.

[reporter 2] Around 100 to 150 families were residing here. They all…

[Ansal] Are you taking a bribe for the first time?

A few extra floors are not going to make a damn difference to the skyline.

[reporter 3] …and the building finally collapsed.

How did the files get approved without quality checks or any audit?

[screams of victims]

[reporter 5] Mr. Tribhuvan's name has also been mentioned.

[reporter 6] The site of the tragic deaths of several families.

Ashoklata?

[loudly] Ashoklata!

Rohan! Ritu!

What's the matter? Why are you so worried?

I just left them in the school bus.

Handed over both, the fees as well as the fine to a teacher on the bus.

It was cash, right?

-You paid it already? -Yeah, I paid it.

Now let me see what the principal has to say.

Why did you wake up so late today?

-Are you okay? -Yeah, yeah.

-Can you make me some chai? -Yeah, I'll get some.

[footsteps receding]

[phone ringing]

Papa, uh, I wanted to check if you got the money?

[Mishra's Dad] Yes, I received the money last night.

I have paid the advance this morning. And the work has also started.

You don’t worry about it.

-Papa, you paid all the money to them? -Yes.

But I have 10,000 in case there's an emergency.

Your mother would like to speak to you.

-She's very happy. -No, Papa, listen to me.

I'm running late for work. Tell her I'll call her in the evening.

-Okay, Beta. -Okay.

[tense music playing]

[upbeat bar music playing over speakers]

You won't be able to sign it, meaning?

I… I can’t do it.

What if the building collapses?

So many people will die.

I cannot bear the responsibility of all those deaths.

I cannot do this.

I hope you understand.

-What about my money? -So…

Actually, I spent the money.

Great, Mishraji!

Mishraji, do you know that society thrives on honest people like you, okay?

You are the pillars of society.

Support!

If people like you are not there, whether a building crumbles or not,

the society definitely will.

[scoffs] Fantastic!

Where was your fucking honesty when you took the money?

-I'm some an idiot or what? -No, wait.

Why are you abusing me? That's not right.

Sorry.

I got a little carried away.

Let's try another way to tell you this.

Look underneath. Under the table!

You understand under the table now?

Come on, look down. Here!

[suspenseful music playing]

This is my big, black weapon!

I fuck everyone with this.

-Do you want a closer look? -No, no.

I mean, why should I look at it?

And you… Like this, in front of everyone in public?

Why? I'm not scared of anyone.

-Everyone here has seen it. -Huh?

[dramatic music playing]

Ansal sahab, this is a gun.

Mishraji, I will get the signature I need. From your boss Varshney.

I'll threaten the fucker.

But I want all my money back.

If you don't pay up, then your family will have to.

[dramatic music playing]

I know you live in MIG.

Your wife is a homemaker. You have two kids.

A little boy and a little girl.

They leave for school at 8:30 in the morning by bus. A yellow bus.

Am I right? Right, isn't it?

Ansal sahab, please don't hurt my family.

I… I will… I'll…

I'll return the four and a half lakhs to you--

[Ansal] Hey, not four and a half lakhs, Mishraji!

You forgot about interest.

Five percent every month.

Hmm?

[dramatic music playing]

I… I… I will pay. Just don't do anything to my family.

[woman] Practicing Dhanur Asana relaxes the mind, and you don't feel any anger.

You must practice this asana at home also.

-Abdul Bhai, I mean you especially. -[Abdul grunts]

I can't control my anger.

I've been coming to your class for so long.

Every little thing makes me want to shoot somebody.

You gave us all wrong information, Madam.

Abdul Bhai, I'll give you a full refund if you want.

It's not about the money, madam. I have a whole lot of money, cash.

In fact, if you want some, take it and open a yoga center.

All I want is to transform myself. [exhales exasperatedly]

That will happen, Abdul Bhai.

Do one thing, take all your money back, but

keep coming for the yoga classes.

[nervous chuckle] Okay?

[suspenseful music playing]

Namaste, bhabhi. How are you? What can I do for you today?

WAYS TO WOO YOUR HUSBAND

-[Bindi] Will this suit me? -[beautician] Hmm.

It will look great, bhabhi.

-Yeah? -Hmm.

All right. Do it.

You know, bhabhi,

it really doesn’t matter what hairstyle you do,

you always look amazing.

That's why Bhai Sahab is so smitten by your beauty.

I'm sure he's crazy about you.

-[pensive music playing] -Am I right about that?

You agree with me that Shahrukh Khan

will always be the greatest king of romance, right?

Bastard! You had so much action today.

Tell me, who is the biggest action star of all time?

-Sallu Bhai! -[man mumbles]

-[grunts] -What happened, huh?

[muffled mumbles]

[exhales deeply]

Let me explain it to you.

Look, Shahrukh Khan is a romantic star.

But where did it begin? With action.

Darr, Baazigar.

And Sallu Bhai, he's an action star.

But where did it begin? With romance.

Maine Pyar Kiya,

Sanam Bewafa.

What's your point, fucker?

[man] The point I'm trying to make, bhaiya,

is that these people changed their style completely

and became a hit in the long run.

Who knows, if you change your style and let me go,

then you can also become a hit.

[Lappu] We don't need to become a hit.

Because the reality is that we are all hitmen from the beginning.

[Raja Bhai] Dhaincha!

[Lappu] 14, 15, 16, 17!

One, two,

three, four,

five,

six…

Mausi was really worried about you, Chachaji.

So we told her we'll bring the money ourselves.

We promised we would bring you back no matter what.

You take Chachaji back with you.

I will send Bhaiya home after we finish counting.

Sure, namaste. Let's go, Chachaji?

Is your mausaji a beggar or something?

Who sends so much of change to pay a ransom?

What a waste of our time!

Give it to me.

Here take this. Your 25,000 rupees.

You gave us a tip. This is your commission.

How long will you take to count the money?

Seventeen. Done, Raja Bhai. It's all there.

Do give us a five-star rating.

He had to count every single coin of yours. What a waste of time.

[client] Definitely, Raja Bhai, I'll leave now.

Namaste.

We better find a solution to this problem somehow!

[quirky music playing]

Do you know how to use a gun?

[garbled] I'm… an… expert… Just say the word.

One shot… and the man will be finished!

What kind of a name is Pinky?

[completely garbled] I… use to… eat paan from the age… of five, I would spit it…

-Paan-- -[Raja Bhai] Just shut up!

Is this the way to talk to somebody?

Go, spit it out right now.

Hey, over there!

I hired this new guy to work for us.

I thought I would introduce him to all of you.

[spitting]

Can you count beyond 17 or not?

[still garbled] Yes, of course.

Buddy, at least speak properly now.

[still garbled] I've been chewing paan and ghutka from the time I was a kid.

That's why I'm so used to speaking like this now.

Don't worry, guns and knives are not going to kill you.

Cancer will only get you, fucker!

[garbled] You need to understand I'm a daring guy.

How do we understand if this is how you're going to speak to us?

I'll be able to understand him, Raja Bhai. My father was exactly like this.

Always mumbling and humming all the time!

I've been listening to him since childhood.

That’s it! Just think of me as his father.

What the hell!

[door opens]

[door closes]

[Raja Bhai] What's this?

Why do you have a bird's nest on your head?

-I just wanted to try something new. -I've already explained to you, 40 plus?

Did you forget? Huh?

Please do not step out with me in this crazy hairstyle.

Damn it, everybody will be laughing at me because of you.

Fine, we won't go out together.

[footsteps receding]

[Jhatka] Come on, the introduction is over. Let's go.

-Why do you walk like this, man? -Dhaincha!

It's, uh, a little too soon

to share the secret recipe of our bhujiya with this Pinky, okay?

Only you and your bhabhi know the recipe, you understand?

Yes, Raja Bhai.

Uh…

That thing you said to Bhabhi made Bhabhi very sad.

Should I not have said it?

Did you not see what she had turned herself into?

It's just the way she looked.

Like a joker!

Bhaiya Dhaincha, please don't ever get married, okay?

It's very complicated.

No, Raja Bhai. I'm not going to get married.

Look at the population of this country.

To keep the population in control, Salman Bhai is still single.

If Bhai can make such a big sacrifice for our country, then why can't I do it?

Yeah, you and Salman Khan are at the same level, right, bastard?

Go.

[knock on door]

Bhabhi, may I come in?

[sighs] Yeah.

So, Bhabhi, I was, uh…

I mean, I just came here to tell you that

between any husband and wife, there are always ups and downs,

but, you know, the family must stay together.

If you forget about what happened, then things will get all right.

Raja Bhai is a good person at heart.

Of course I know that.

I'm not upset at all.

-He's growing bald, right? -Hey!

He felt jealous of my bird's nest.

What are you saying, Bhabhi?

Seriously, I'm not upset at all.

-You can go. -Sure.

[door shuts]

[melancholic music playing]

[melancholic music continues]

[dramatic music playing]

[music intensifies]

Dishkyaon! Dishkyaon!

Jijaji, thanks for the dinner invitation, but what are we celebrating?

-I mean, at least let me congratulate you. -No, no.

There's no reason. What's the big deal?

So how is your insurance work going?

You didn't have to spend so much money on the kids.

Hey, I don't mind spending, Jijaji.

-Policy sales have been good. -Hmm?

I even insured the fingers of a client, a powerful guy, uses guns for work.

His fingers are important. On paper, I said, "He plays the piano."

Oh, wow!

Earned a big commission on that.

If you want to buy a policy, let me know. Difficult times come without warning.

-Okay, um… -Hmm?

Hey, Shobha!

You relax with Shambhu. Let me do that.

-Where are you going? -[Mishra] I'll check if dinner's ready.

Chole is almost ready. You take this to the table.

Hey, Ashoklata.

Yes?

[hesitates] Could you maybe ask Shambhu if we can borrow a little money from him?

If he can help us out of this?

Why? But didn't you already make arrangements with your office?

Then?

[hesitates] Um…

The truth is that I had borrowed that money from someone at office.

It's an emergency and I… I need to return it immediately.

Um, I'm in some… I'm in a little trouble.

I'm not going to ask Shambhu.

I will not ask him.

I asked you about this earlier, you were acting proud.

"Jijas take care of brothers-in-law!" Etcetera, etcetera.

I'm not going to ask him.

I bought some leather chappals for Shambhu.

They're kept in the cupboard. Give it to him.

He brought those guns for the kids.

[suspenseful music playing]

[music intensifies]

[mouths] Ask now.

-Is the food okay? -Mmm!

-Of course. -Very tasty.

-Shambhu. -Hmm?

Uh…

By now, I'm sure you've heard about that bank that shut down, big scam and all.

So, I had, uh… I mean, all my money was also there.

Now things are really tight for us. [chuckles nervously]

So if you have some, I mean,

if you have something that is extra.

I mean, if you can help us with some money.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Since your work is going quite well, isn't it?

So I thought I'll ask you for help.

It's not going so well, Jijaji, that I can give you money.

And what will you do with a few thousand rupees? Hmm?

Please try to do something to help. Jiji, Jijaji are family after all.

Come on. If I had it, why would I refuse?

Jiji is my Jiji.

That's why I always say this, Jiji, that one should always have cash in hand.

If Jijaji had been street smart,

he would never have needed to ask for help.

A man needs to be bold in life.

A risk-taking type.

A little extra added income raises your status.

That's why it's called added income.

Otherwise, it'll be subtracted income.

Why don't you sing your songs of honesty?

The point I'm trying to make, Jijaji, is I will not be able to help you at all.

-Jiji… -Hmm?

That, uh, that bag I left with you yesterday?

Can you give it to me?

I need to take it home.

-I'll get it. -[Shambhu] Yes.

-Go. Get the bag from Jiji. -Yeah, sure.

-Help her out. -Okay.

Can I say something? Please don't feel bad.

I feel very sorry for Jijaji for his so-called honesty.

That's why everyone in the family calls him a chugad.

Okay, Jiji, we better go home. It's getting late.

[bike starts]

He could have helped us if he really wanted to.

[Ashoklata] Why?

Why should he help us out?

Does he owe us anything?

We just don’t have the capability.

Why would he help us?

We had to put our hands out like a beggar.

And that too was pointless.

Can't you see I'm trying my best?

Nothing will come out of you trying your best.

If you had one good quality in you, just one,

apart from this job and this integrity of yours,

we would have some extra money at least.

Hmm?

That's why everyone calls you a chugad.

[melancholic music playing]

Chugad.

Don't ever take risks.

No need to change. Damn it!

Please give me my scooter keys.

Where are you going at this hour?

Enough of disrespect, Ashoklata.

[melancholic music playing]

I won't come back till I find a solution.

And I'm an honest man.

That's why I did not steal any money from your brother's bag.

You want the truth?

I was really tempted to.

But I'm a chugad, right?

What do I do?

[melancholic music continues]

[Shambhu] We have a rock-solid portfolio now.

The market is looking very strong.

I've invested all the clients' premium money.

Wait and see, profits are on the way!

[Shobha] I got worried at Jiji's house.

What if you'd said yes just because I put pressure on you.

Do I look crazy? Don't you think I know you well enough?

We went for dinner to their home. You had to say it only to be polite.

We have to think of our future also.

How could we help them?

You can't be an insurance agent your whole life, right?

Hmm, in future, we'll do something big as long as our goal is clear.

In this city, I get the feeling we need a gun more than a goal.

Now you want me to get you a gun? Tell me?

Nice big 47? Huh?

Hey, when did you buy this new plant?

I didn't buy it. I stole it from our neighbor.

I've heard that a stolen money plant brings a lot of fortune with it.

Jiji bought these chappals from a sale.

I'm hundred percent sure.

[lively music playing]

[cellphone ringing]

-Hello. -[Qureshi] Shambhu Pathak?

-Yes, speaking. -Ehsaan Qureshi speaking.

-Agarwal Builder gave me your number. -Salaam walekhum, Janaab.

-[disco beats playing] -[scanner beeps]

[indistinct lively chattering]

[man 1] At this age, I only get high on expensive stuff.

[man 2] At this age, there are many other ways to get high.

[man 3] Taste changes over time.

My taste changed very recently. At home, it's just dal-roti.

-[man 2] But outside, pizza. -[man 3] Got it, bhai.

Tell me, Mishra! How did you think of us today?

You don't show up usually.

[man 1] Mishra is just his surname. His name is chugad.

[laughs] "Chugad Mishra!"

He has been Chugad Mishra right from our college days.

No, to be honest, I had to… You…

I was thinking that… I mean, uh…

Uh…

Let's do one thing, let's have couple drinks and after that,

we can relax and catch up.

Fucker, you heard about that bank?

Huh? Many people got screwed over.

[man 1] I never put all my money in one bank.

Invest a little in the share market.

Then use some money to buy property.

If you just use your common sense, life becomes easy.

They say you should never put all your eggs in one basket.

And those who do it are absolute idiots!

You know, such situations cause a lot of suicides.

-[dramatic music playing] -It can really fuck with a man.

-[man 2] Shut the fuck up! -[man 1] Let them get fucked!

-Let's say cheers! -Let's begin.

[man 2] Cheers! Come on, man. Mishra, raise it! That's it!

Now we've already had two drinks. And the mood is right.

So tell us, what's going on with you?

[man 3 chuckles] Come on, tell us.

It's nothing in particular.

I thought it's been a while since I saw all of you,

so I called everybody.

And I thought because Bhabhiji was not keeping my friend happy.

[man 1 laughs] Bhabhiji.

He found Bhabhiji. That's more than enough.

And Bhabhiji manages to keep him happy, huh?

[friends laughing]

Why don't you do one thing? Just call up Rosie right away.

-Okay! -Haa!

I want him to have a good time.

And I am going to pay for this.

-Okay? The room is booked in my name. -[man 3] A soft, comfortable bed.

-No, no, please listen. Hey, no way. -Bhai! Mishra! No, no.

[man 1] It's already set up for you, Mishra.

Instead of dal-chawal, pizza.

Now get lost and go have fun, fucker! Go have the time of your life!

-[man 1] Don't be stubborn! Come on. -[man 2] Get up, buddy!

[man 3] Come on. It's your wedding night.

-You can do it. Get up! -[man 2] You'll feel so satisfied.

-[man 2] Take him to the room. -[man 1] Come.

Rosie will show you a fucking good time!

[dramatic music crescendos and fades]

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm… I'm a married man.

I will not do this.

You… you… you want me to pay for sex. I'm… I'm not that type of a man.

Don't do it.

Then, you can leave. You won't get your money anyway.

I get paid by the hour, whether you do it or not.

And I've already got my 15.

Just 1,500 rupees for this kind of work?

15,000!

And I also get a tip.

This is just a discounted rate. 'Cause Jatt is an old client of mine.

By the way, today's next client has agreed to pay me 30.

Thirty?

Thousand? You mean, for one hour?

And full night is 60,000.

After tax deductions, I don't think my salary also comes to this much.

Because there is no way that you can offer what I do.

That’s the reason.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Ashoklata] If you had some capability in you apart from this job

and this integrity of yours, we would have some extra money at least.

[Shambhu] Why don't you sing your songs of honesty!

[Varshney] The man who makes sure he has an umbrella before the monsoon season

doesn't get drenched in the rain.

You're not a strong Papa at all.

If Jijaji had been street smart, he'd never have needed to ask for help.

[Ansal] You better arrange the money.

If you don't pay up, your family will have to.

[friend 3] Such situations cause a lot of suicides.

[Rosie] I get paid by the hour. 15,000.

Full night is 60,000.

[Ashoklata] You know what a woman wants.

If there's a love-making competition, I'm sure you will win the gold medal,

an Olympic medal.

[Shambhu] A man needs to be bold in life. A risk-taking type.

-[Ansal] …the money. -[Ashoklata] Don't take a risk.

-That's why people call you a chugad. -[friend 1] Chugad Mishra.

-You'd have cash. -It raises your status.

-Don't forget to pay the fees tomorrow. -…are idiots.

You don’t have the capability.

-Why don't you sing your songs… -Your family will pay.

-I can't do anything. -[Shambhu] A man needs to be bold.

-…put out hands like… -Arrange for the money.

-Difficult times come without warning. -[Ansal] You forgot about interest. 5%.

Arrange for the money.

[Mishra] Enough of my honesty as a CA.

Now, what needs to be done has to be done.

[suspenseful music playing]

[door opens]

[door squeaks open]

[music stops]

Sorry.

I spoke very rudely to you today.

Why are you saying sorry to me?

It was harsh, but it was the truth, right?

[Ashoklata] Where were you for so long?

I was looking for a solution.

Found it.

You go. Go to sleep.

-I need to finish some work. -Okay.

[Mishra] Hmm? Go.

-[suspenseful music resumes] -[door closes]

[keyboard keys clacking]

[music intensifies]

DO YOU WANT TO EARN MORE MONEY IN LESS TIME?

DO YOU POSSESS THE SKILL THAT CAN MAKE YOU RICH?

DO YOU WANT TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE?

[chimes]

[suspenseful music playing]

SHAMBHU BASTARD-IN-LAW

[dramatic music playing]

[music intensifies]

[music swells]

[music crescendos and stops]

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