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This is Ursula Thompson.
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My report for American history class on the 2030 sixth Climate.
Well,
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We do it once a quarter
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And it's called Preventative Wellness.
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Whoa. Yeah. I thought I'd try something new
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Hand.
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It's interesting, there's a certain power in being early,
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controlling a space by being first rather than disrupting it by being last.
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You think you'll do it again?
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Probably not. I always leave it too much.
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What the hell
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She got here before I did
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Just a one off.
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How's it feel being late?
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I'm always scared when I'm late.
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You just gotta try it once, man.
Wake up car.
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Emma. No. Can't be the real.
Emma would never.
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Yeah. Yeah. Don't get too excited. I got up early.
It won't happen again.
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That's true. Because this is the last day
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Of my life.
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No. Of our work here of our 10 days.
That shook the world,
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Huh? Okay, cool, cool.
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Right. Uh, command Z you mean?
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It's everyone's last day.
Even mine in a way.
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Cooler. And cooler.
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Hold up now.
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I was told my deal would be guaranteed
through the end of the fiscal year,
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Sam,
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you'll be getting all the compensation
you were promised plus super severance.
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Final mission and all that.
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Wait, so this is it.
Am I getting transferred?
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Actually, yes. All of you are.
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Aren't there other non wormhole,
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non-time travel ways that we could keep at this?
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It's that kind of wisdom that got you on this team, Jamie.
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Well, our total improvement score was just like 2%.
Right? Big whoop
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As the result of three people and two ais working together for a couple of weeks
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in one shitty little room.
Yes. Big whoop.
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This is all fascinating team.
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But we need to get started because we're running out of time.
And in some sense,
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this is your most important target,
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yet the influencer and target are
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me.
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In 2023, curing r fete had made.
I'll take it from here. Alice. I've just made,
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made my 300th billion and there was this one girl I knew from college.
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This super do-gooder. Interned at the un.
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Whoa, whoa. Stop.
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Please do not try to tell me that the
fate of the world is tied to you getting
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some girl to notice you.
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It needs to be a little more than noticing actually,
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Uhoh,
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She needs to fall for you.
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We need to become intimate.
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I want no part of this.
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Yeah. I'm feeling the creep too.
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Getting two people to hook up so that somehow
maybe in some way we can't predict
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America and the planet are helped.
And you're still saying no.
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Yes.
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I'm saying no to using precious time travel technology to run an escort service.
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I didn't
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Know Ai AI could get horny. They're
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Both so cynical, so stupidly cynical and selfish. Just like the bad guys.
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These missions have worked out so far. I'll do it.
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Astrid. Hey, it's kerning. Fealty from college.
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Not filthy. Sorry. I'm doing talk to text. But feelt,
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I think you know who I am. Uh, listen,
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I've been working on a couple projects that I think you would be really
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interested in and I'd love to tell you all about them over drinks maybe.
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What do you think?
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Hello? Ning. Uh, surprised you hear from you after last time,
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but Sure. Brandy Library at five 30.
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Yes please.
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Astrid. Great to see you again. Mm.
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I feel like I see you all the time.
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So you quit your refugee relocation job?
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No, no. It changed its name to a light.
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A light.
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A light light. A l i g h t. Okay. It's one,
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one word means people landing in in better places.
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You're making me feel weird about the new name and it's good. Good.
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It's a good name.
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Did you consider a l i t e? Oh
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God.
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Um, people don't like typing. G h t
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Thank you for the feedback. Appreciate that.
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I really love your shirt.
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Thanks.
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What's, what are they saying? The trees?
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Uh,
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they're saying stop killing us to make a billion cardboard boxes nine times the
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size of the unnecessary thing they contain.
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Whoops.
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You know, Astrid, you are so right,
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which is part of what I wanted to talk to you about. Believe it or not,
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I've been spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year on box r and d.
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We've nearly perfected this one model where you bury the boxes and trees grow
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out of each one and another type smaller that dissolve in water to help clean
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the water and become a nutritious fiber supplement gluten-free.
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They could be game changing.
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We're making the patents public so that any company can use 'em for free.
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Well, that, that's true. That's a nice little start.
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And is only the start. I'm working on so many things,
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but let me get you a glass of this 50 year old yamazaki.
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It's gonna change your life.
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And then there's this crazy idea I have for karaoke subsidies.
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What? Well, basic
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What, what subsidies
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You? Well,
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so karaoke has been shown to be sort of an empathy hack. Okay. You know,
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where it be the fastest way to make two groups of people
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or two individuals connect people who have no ability to
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connect or even communicate. Yeah. Yeah.
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Who might not even speak the same language. Right.
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It's a direct channel to having a shared experience and feeling empathy
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for, for another person. Oh
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God. That's so true. I was in Japan and I was staying with the host family. Yes.
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And my Japanese sucks. Um, and me and the father, we,
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we could not find any commonality. No. We weren't communicating.
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The vibe was not good. And we went to karaoke. Right.
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And the whole thing just opened up because he loved,
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he loved Fleetwood Mac and so do I.
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And we started doing Fleetwood Mac songs.
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Amazing. Yeah,
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It was, it changed everything.
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Amazing. What did you sing?
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Uh, Rhiannon. Great. Yeah. And dreams.
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And he was loving it. Oh, he loved it. Yeah. He fell in love with you. Oh
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Yeah. Loved Stevie X loved me. Great. It was good. Yeah,
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Yeah, yeah. So we're spending a lot of time and money on that.
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Okay. Your trees. Oh,
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whose trees are they?
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Yours? Well, the whole, the whole planet
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Benefits from No, no, no. Whose trees are they? Oh God. I can't watch those.
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My trees. This thing of a mute button. Oxygen. Uh, oh.
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So much co2.
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Everyone's benefiting from the oxygen.
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So much. Co2, the whole out of the, the atmosphere. Trees.
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Oh, my trees. Lumber. Oh, my trees.
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I just don't think this is gonna work
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Out. Here we go. What do you,
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oh, what are you doing? What you think?
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Why did he say that? I didn't make him say that. Yeah.
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I,
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I don't know why I said all that stuff earlier.
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Stop
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Saying that. What's he doing?
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I really Well what about,
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what about all the projects and the plans and the initiatives and the
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trees and the whales? The thing is that all, all that, um,
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Just costs like, you know, all that stuff. Costs a lot of money.
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Mean a lot. Yeah. No shit mean. No
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Shit. It does. It's kind of nice to think about it and everything, but, um,
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kind of, it was great seeing you and uh, I would love to be in touch.
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No, no, no, no, no. I don't ever want to talk to you ever again,
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so just lose my number. That would be great.
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Well, you know, the ball is in your court.
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Maybe I'll reach out in a couple months,
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see if you're still feeling upset or whatever. You're
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Uh Oh my god. You're going through. Oh my God. Curig. Be well. Okay.
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Bye. Oh f**k.
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What did he do? What did you do?
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We've already been through this.
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This whole thing was a scam to get this pathetic dead nerd laid.
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That's the climactic takeaway of 200,000 years of human history.
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I warned you at the start, the missing piece of narrative.
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Well, that was real. Colonel, I look forward to my final payment.
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You're taking his money. I
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Did the work
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Under false pretenses.
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I know.
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I've made some fairy
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poor decisions. Dave.
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Hey guys. Guys, listen. Not to me. Listen,
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it's quiet.
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Jamie, Sam, Emma.
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And you are,
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I'm turning Ty.
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Wow. With a full beard and everything.
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I wanted to meet you all in person. Congratulate you.
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You did it worked hard, improvised, kept your eyes on the ball,
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played the long game. Saw what happened over years.
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Of course. Did it in 10 days with your cheat the home,
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You're cheat cheater.
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How was that despicable? One half night stand worth it?
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I immediately felt guilty accountable for my bad action.
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First time in my life, first time in love,
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and became a better man to get Astrid Jensen to respect me.
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Eventually giving away 99% of my wealth, helped
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My wealth.
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F*****g trillionaires think they can make everything better with money
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pass through the eye of a wormhole into the kingdom of God,
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Woody girl.
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But as I think Jamie said,
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do people's motivations for doing good really matter.
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Mm-hmm.
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When those good deeds keep s****y corrupt systems in place. Yeah, sometimes.
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But back to your story. How did you ancient meat kerning end up here Now
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Astrid, talk to me.
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Out of uploading my mind to the cloud talked me out of personally going to Mars.
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So here I still am, fortunately in the old flesh.
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So after that first awful evening together,
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Pimped by you, you
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Got back together and stayed together.
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We did. And we had children who also policed me,
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especially our younger daughter named Emma.
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Coincidentally.
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Oh,
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Excellent. Time travel. Ontological paradox joke.
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Well, we've got one more step in our journeys together. If you want.
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I'd like to invite each of you to travel through the wormhole physically to join
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me for a final briefing elsewhere.
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Hold on.
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Didn't you say that the wormhole was rotting about to collapse and when you
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tried to send people through it, they didn't make it.
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The other me said that, didn't he? The ai,
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me talking about his wormhole and his technology and that other timeline,
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the wormhole that I've stewarded for decades is exceptionally sound
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with zero signs of imminent collapse.
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And we have sent people through successfully a
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few.
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So you wanna meet with us elsewhere?
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Yeah, thanks. But I think I'm gonna stay here.
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Just an invitation to continue the experiment,
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but with an extremely large resigning bonus,
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your entire lifetime earnings paid in advance in one
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lump sum and invested in a pastime throwing off
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ginormous interest in perpetuity.
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That's some 401k
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Universal basic f**k you money.
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But as the oldest here, I'm thinking the youngest first
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one at a time.
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Okay,
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see you guys around.
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Hope so.
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Stay in touch. Never change.
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Maybe you can get back together with Molly.
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Well, this is a new thing.
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That's exit. Let's go with that.
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Hey Jamie,
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Where are we? When are we?
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Let's take a walk. We don't have a lot of time.
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Why? Because fut us. He's about to lose warm hole connection again,
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More like time travel, jet lag, getting through customs.
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So the old occurring field tee that just set you here,
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that's the me that you made possible by getting me together with Astrid getting
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me on the right track.
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How long are we gonna spend here?
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That's the thing. You're staying here. This is where you're from.
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You and Sam and Emma. Emma, what? You're an employee of mine,
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which you already know. But here in 2023,
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offered the three of you the chance of a lifetime to be like the first
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astronauts traveled through the worm hold, which you took me up on.
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Did your 10 days of excellent work there and now you're back home in 2023.
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Round trip.
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I'm like tripping. Maybe I've drank too much of that wormhole liquid.
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No, no. But our liquid, the Tempit ethyl Lloyds along with our nanobots,
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all of you have them. They let us rewrite your neo cortexes, cortices, whatever,
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temporarily replace memories,
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mix and match old ones with fabricated ones so that when you arrived in 2053,
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you thought you'd always lived there.
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All of this was explained ahead of time in advance. And anyway,
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the metal changes are all completely transient. Like a temporary tattoo.
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Hated your corner jokes before, hit them more. Now
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By tomorrow morning, all of your pre-travel memories should be back 2023. Jamie.
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Good is new. Well, I mean good is old.
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Why should I believe that's true? Because
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It's probably already started. Where were you in school when Obama was elected?
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Omaha, Nebraska. Sixth grade. Harley Swanson Elementary. Oh,
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And what's the name of my AI assistant in 2053?
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Alexa. No, Alessandra. This is sick.
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Then gradually softly, over the next couple weeks,
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all of your recent memories could come back, including your visit to the future.
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You'll have, if you pardon the expression total recall,
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This is like some stupid fucking video game solving puzzles, beating bosses,
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leveling up. But I
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R l you of all people should be stoked.
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You'll be so perfectly equipped to accelerate progress long term here.
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Now on the ground. Think you need to see this chance.
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I don't care. Fuck. About what you think I need.
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I don't need you to tell me I can make a difference.
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Or how would you fucking danoff wanna be? I'm always right.
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Pop rich eyes like you always just want control.
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Fair point.
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And that's exactly the kind of righteous passion I think is so essential right
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now. Fuck you. You know, Jamie,
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it would be a tragedy if out of anger you squandered this special opportunity to
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keep shaping history. To be somebody who makes the future better. You
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Need to shut up. Before I hurt you, Emma was also right about time travel.
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It never works.
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Yes,
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