All language subtitles for 3. Superman III (1983 - 1080p BluRay)

CLERK 1: Next, please.

Come on, come on.

CLERK 2: Next.

Name.

Gus Gorman.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Ah, yes. August Gorman.

Have you looked
for work this week?

- Yes.
- What kind?

- Kitchen technician.
- Dishwasher. Any luck?

No, but...

Mr. Gorman, according to our records,
you've been unemployed for 36 weeks.

No, it's 35.

Not counting this week.

You secured employment in June as a
messenger and were discharged after...

- one day for losing...
- No, they said I lost it.

I did not lose it! It was
stolen by a pickpocket.

A television set?

It was a teeny-tiny, teeny-weensy
Japanese television set.

The other employment you found
was in a fast-food joint, which lasted...

28 minutes?

That's some kind of
record. Talk about fast.

Those people are crazy. They
expect you to learn that stuff in one day.

"Hold the lettuce. Hold the ketchup.
Can I have some sauce, please?"

- Mr. Gorman...
- "Two buns. No buns. Some cheese."

Mr. Gorman, the city of Metropolis
is generous to a fault, but...

I'm not the fault!

Thirty-six weeks of
chronic unemployment.

Thirty-six weeks of living off
the taxes of hard-working citizens.

- Do you know what you are?
- Don't call me a bum, I'm not a bum!

You are, I was about
to say, no longer eligible.

- Well, look...
- Next.

Wait. What about this
week? I need this week!

Next.

You mean, that's it?

"Finished," like "over"?

[PHONE RINGS]

CLERK 2: Next.

GUS: "Next" as in "bye."

CLERK 2: Next!

Name.

Excuse me, brother,
can I have a light?

- How you doing, Alex?
VENDOR: Hi, Jimmy.

[SKATER YELLS]

[PEOPLE YELL]

[DOG BARKS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[PENGUIN CHIRPS]

[DOGS BARK]

[GLASS BREAKS]

Huh? Ah.

[PENGUIN CHIRPS]

[PAPER TEARS]

[MAN GRUNTS]

Excuse me.

[GUNFIRE AS PEOPLE SCREAM]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER
AND SHOUTING]

MOTHER: Say thank you.

Wow!

Way to go, Superman!

[DOG BARKS]

VOICE [ON MACHINE]:
Your drink is on its way.

WOMAN: Sir.

Excuse me...

but what if you wanna program two
bilateral coordinates at the same time?

You can't do that.
It's impossible.

WOMAN: But if you can't...
- Oh, no.

Computer technology is very
advanced, young lady, but it can't do that.

WOMAN: But if you think we
can't do it that way, what happens...?

GUS: Sir.

TEACHER: Good Lord.

How did you do that?

I don't know. I just did it.

PERRY: Who's this? JIMMY:
That's him, Ross Webster.

JIMMY: Just after he received the
award for Humanitarian of the Year.

He is good-looking.

Because I gave
him f.2 at a 50th.

One thing I don't understand...

the point of the story Lois wrote
is how Ross got this great honor...

and you bring me one picture of him
and 15 pictures of this other person.

PERRY: Who is she?
- Lorelei Ambrosia. She's Webster's...

She's just Webster's.
Let's leave it at that.

PERRY: Who's this other woman?
JIMMY: His sister, Vera Webster.

PERRY: Picture looks fuzzy.
- What?

The picture's fine, chief.
She looks like that in real life.

- She's VP of Webscoe lndustries.
- I really don't understand you.

A boring banquet and you
bring me 3000 boring pictures.

Yet Superman saves a man
from drowning on Third Avenue...

while you just stand there and
you don't bring me one picture!

Chief, I didn't have
my camera with me.

A photographer eats with his camera.
A photographer sleeps with his camera.

- I'm glad I'm a writer.
- Mr. White, please.

It's time for you to draw this
month's winning JINGO number.

Prize is an all-expenses
trip to South America.

- I don't know why the idiot in
Circulation... CLARK: Good morning.

- Hi, Clark.
- Hi, Lois. Morning, Jimmy.

You've got mustard
on your lapel.

Excuse me, Mr. White,
I hate to interrupt...

Sorry. I'm busy. I got
a paper to get out here.

It'll never replace
the printing press.

- What's the number, Mr. White?
- Fifty-three.

- Mr. White...
SECRETARY: Fifty-three!

CLARK: Mr. White...
- You've got to pull three more numbers.

I promised I'd call them back
today. What do you think?

- Well, I don't know, Kent...
- I think it'd make a terrific story.

What's a terrific story?

Kent's been invited to
his high-school reunion.

- Say. CLARK: Yeah.

Could we have the next number?

It's practically an
American institution. Isn't it?

I don't know, Mr. Kent. Most of the
people I know are still in high school.

Thirty-three.

What I thought this story
would be about, Mr. White, is...

SECRETARY: Thirty-three.

Is how much the typical small town
has changed in the last 15 years.

Take me, for example:

Can I really go back to middle America
now as a Metropolis sophisticate?

I'm really excited about this.
In fact, I was looking around...

in my closet last night...

and I even found my
old high-school sweater.

- Smallville.
- Mr. White.

Can I go ahead and
make my travel plan?

Same question about mine.

Tell your people the prodigal son
and his photographer are coming home.

Oh, gee, thanks, Mr. White.

It isn't easy for me to lose
one of my best reporters.

- That's okay.
- You deserve the vacation, Lois.

Thank you.

Lois, are you going some place?

Clark, you know some people
get to go all the way to Smallville...

and then there are others of
us who have to go to Bermuda.

Golly.

LOIS: Bye. JIMMY:
Bye, Miss Lane.

- Have fun.
- Mr. White, the next number, please.

Well, I guess I
better be going too.

So I'll be going.

Bye.

Couldn't we get a
computer to do this?

- Hey, what is this?
- First paycheck.

This is the first rip-off, man! We're
supposed to get 225 a week, right?

This says, "$143.80." How
am I supposed to live on that?

State tax, federal tax,
social security tax...

It's so you're still getting
some money when you hit 65.

So I'm getting
money when I...? 65?

I want mine now!

I want to enjoy it while I'm young. I
wanna get up and get down. Boogie.

Actually, it's probably more
like $143.80 and one half cent.

There are always fractions left over,
but big corporations round it down.

What do I do with half a cent?
Buy a thoroughbred mouse?

Everybody loses those fractions?

They don't lose them. You
can't lose what you never got.

Then what happens?
The company gets them?

They can't be bothered collecting that
from your paycheck any more than you.

Then what happens to them?

Well, they're just floating around
out there. The computers know where.

How many sugars?

One and a half.

It's quitting time,
Gus. You coming?

Yeah. No, actually, I got
some stuff to finish up, so...

Working overtime, huh? What are
you doing, buddy? Looking for a raise?

Yeah, looking for a raise.

GUS: You bet.

JIMMY: But my Uncle Al on my
father's side, he won't eat her stuffing.

He says it should be cooked on the
outside. She cooks it on the inside.

My mother told my Aunt Helen.
She's my father's half sister.

- I told you that, right?
- Yeah.

- And anyway, the family...
- Hey, hey.

- Look at that. JIMMY: Wow.

[SIRENS WAIL]

Okay, your choice: You can
turn back or pull over till it's over.

- How long will it take?
- Can't tell with these fires.

I mean, that fire... That's
spreading like wildfire.

DRIVER: It's just
a building burning.

It's not just a building.
That's a chemical plant.

You know what I mean.
It's like... it's like chemicals.

If any of that stuff goes up in smoke,
we're in for a hairy time around here.

- Clark.
- Yeah?

I want you to keep
these people distracted.

What are you doing?

What am I doing?
Remember what the chief said?

A photographer always
goes after a story.

That could be dangerous, Jimmy.

Danger goes with
the territory, Mr. Kent.

[FIREMEN SHOUT INDISTINCTLY]

Help me!

- How can I help?
- Get this man a helmet.

- It's you. Forget the helmet.
- How bad is it?

My God, it's a nightmare. Everything's
either explosive or flammable or worse.

[EXPLOSION]

Get the ladder truck in here.

- It won't reach.
- My God, they're trapped!

What's he gonna do? Fly
them down one at a time?

[WORKERS YELL]

Let's go! Everybody,
down there! Move it!

Come on! Hurry up!

There you go.

Right down there. Take it easy.

All right. Everybody down there!

MAN: Keep moving!

Sir, get out. I'll show
you the quickest way.

Go on. Look after the
others. I can't leave.

- Why not?
- I gotta stay and look after those.

That's concentrated
Beltric acid.

If that stuff heats up over 180
degrees, we've got a crisis...

that'll make this
fire look like a picnic.

SUPERMAN: What does it do?

CHEMIST: As long as it remains
stable, it's just ordinary acid.

But if it begins to heat
up, it'll turn volatile.

You'll get a great cloud of smoke
that will eat through anything.

Steel, concrete, anything.

[FIREMEN SHOUT INDISTINCTLY]

Who the hell is that?

FIREMAN: Hey, you! Get off of there!
- I'm just gonna get a couple more shots.

Ow! Ah!

Tell them to bring their
hoses back here! Quickly!

JIMMY: Help!

Help! Help me!

Help! Somebody help me!

- Help!
- It's all right.

- Superman! My leg.
- I got you. Take it easy.

All right. We'll
go nice and easy.

Okay, I'm sorry. All
right? Here we go.

Medics! Over here, please.

That's it. Here you go.

Go easy. It's the left leg.

- My camera.
- Yeah.

It's a clean break
right across the fibula.

- My camera.
- Sorry, Jimmy. You'll be okay.

Get that fire out, otherwise there'll be an
acid cloud all over the Eastern seaboard.

FIREMAN 1: The pump house
is gone! FIREMAN 2: What?

FIREMAN 1: The pump house!
- We've lost the water pressure!

- We've got to have water!
- How?

Lake Comooga's five miles from
here. We'd need a five-mile hose!

- Where's this lake?
- That way.

Tell them it's hopeless.

You told me we had an
adequate water supply.

Water!

I tell you, that
man's a miracle!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS IN SCHOOL]

[PEOPLE CHATTER lNDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN: Carol, you got gorgeous!

Look at you.

BRAD: That was against
Mid-City. I'll never forget it.

Fourth quarter,
score was tied...

we're back at the 25-yard line.

Coach sends in a play,
Right Flanker Option.

You really have grown, Clark.

You look very well,
Miss Bannister.

I can't complain. I take the stairs
a little slow and I have these spells.

But really, I can't complain.

Lana?

Clark?

Would you excuse me? There's
someone I'd really like to say hello to.

Lana?

- Lana Lang? It's great to see you.
- Clark.

- You look wonderful.
- Me? No, you look...

- Let me give you a hand with that.
- No, no. I can manage.

Uh...

This is the first time you've come
back since your mom passed away.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

CLARK: I heard that you and...

Donald split up.
LANA: Did you eat yet?

No.

Beg your pardon.
Excuse me. Sorry.

- That's not right.
- No?

You're right about Donald
and me, but... Hold this, okay?

Oh, sure.

Hi, Kent.

Hi. How you doing?

I'm sorry. I'm
going nuts. Thanks.

- Clark.
- Yeah.

Lana.

Uh-oh. Um...

BRAD: Hey, sweet.

Here I am.

Remember when you were prom queen?
All these guys were waiting for a dance?

There's only one guy on your
dance card now. Huh, honey?

- That's good old...
- Brad Wilson.

- Hi, Brad.
- Hi, Kent.

Long time no see.

You know, see, see, see?

- Come on, Lana.
- No, I can't.

- Clark already asked me.
- I did?

- Yeah.
- Oh, excuse me.

Lana, I haven't danced...

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYS]

Ah, Gorman. Another
week, another check.

Don't you have another one for
me? I put in a voucher for expenses.

What?

Yeah, yeah.

Here you go.

Ooo...

Thanks for helping me out.

You kidding? A lot of guys
would like to be where I am.

You'd be surprised at
how many offers I didn't get.

Even Brad wouldn't stick around.

It really isn't easy.

The streamers? Yeah,
you just pull, and...

No, not the
streamers. Everything.

Not that I'm
complaining. It's just that...

I don't know why, I just
feel like I can talk to you.

What?

I feel like I can talk to you!

- You can?
- Yes.

- You know something, Lana?
- What?

I always...

I always wished that you would.

I mean, even
back in high school.

- Remember when you were...?
- Queen of the prom.

Then three years after the
royal wedding, the king abdicated.

- Isn't that terrible?
- Yeah, sure is.

There must be a gallon
of potato salad left over.

You know what the problem is?

I don't know, too
much mayonnaise?

Donald loved mayonnaise.
Why would that be the problem?

No, the problem is, why
do I stay in Smallville?

Believe me, I've
asked myself that.

Do you know how lucky you are to
live in Metropolis? The Big Apricot.

Well, Lana, you could...

Easy to say. But how?
What about Ricky?

- Ricky?
- My little boy.

- You? Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.

I mean, at least here we have a house
and I've got a job that pays the bills.

Except for last winter when the
fuel bills kept going up and up.

Yeah. Even had to pawn
my diamond ring then.

That's a shame.

[CLARK WHISTLES]

You never got married?

- Me?
- Yeah.

Well, I was...

No. Not... [PLAYS PIANO]

You know, years later you
can look at someone and think:

"Well, I guess that's
the one that got away."

Give me that again, old buddy.
Run it by me just one more time.

- Eighty-five thousand dollars.
- Missing?

Embezzled, Mr. Webster.
Stolen from the firm.

VERA: By whom?

That's what I want to
know. By whom? Whom?

WEBSTER: Vera,
get a hold of yourself.

Nobody else ever will.

SIMPSON: I don't know.

Whom?

In the old days it was simple.

We kept books, we knew what
was going in and what was paid out.

If somebody wanted to rob you...

they'd come in with a gun
and say, "Stick them up."

Now they get blasted
computers to do their dirty work.

My old friend,
you are yesterday.

Whoever pulled this
caper is tomorrow.

Mr. Webster, it's
time for your massage.

Does this woman have
the right to burst in...?

Now, now, Vera. Simpson,
you know my psychic nutritionist?

- Hello.
- We are trying to hold a meeting here.

Why don't you hold your breath
instead. Maybe you'll turn blue.

- Improvement.
- I'm about to take a human life.

Simpson, would you excuse
us for a second, please?

[ARGUING lNDISTINCTLY]

- Mouths closed. Ears open.
- She's a big pig.

I can't have anyone
with me who isn't with me.

Now, girls.

Simpson.

Well, old chum. What now?

Kiss the 85 thou goodbye?

Keep on paying the thief his salary
until he shakes the money tree again?

- He's bound to slip up sooner or later.
- Why?

That's what they
always say in the movies.

He won't slip up
at all. No, not at all.

He'll keep quietly taking
the bread from our mouths.

He'll keep a low profile and won't
do a thing to call attention to himself.

Unless, of course, he is a
complete and utter moron.

[TIRES SCREECH]

BOY 1: I'll go first. Andrew.

BOY 2: I'll pick Chris. LANA:
You feel good? You feel ready?

LANA Ricky, your shoe.

- You mean, we've gotta take Ricky?
- You guys lost the toss.

All right, come on, Ricky.

LANA: Wait, wait...
- Come on, good luck.

- I just can't stand this.
- Oh, Lana. It'll be okay.

I know, I was a
late bloomer myself.

It's not just that he's small, he's
the only kid in town without a father.

Oh, look. He's stewed to the
gills in the middle of the afternoon.

- Gee, all he had was chocolate milk.
- No, him.

Hey, sweet thing.

Little kid getting hassled, huh?

- Kent, you still here?
- I seem to be, Brad.

All he needs is a few pointers
from the old champ here.

I won the all-country bowling
trophy two years in a row.

I didn't know that.

Yeah. Natural athlete
can play any sport.

Brad, you're just
gonna make it worse.

- It's all right. It'll be okay.
- He'll make it worse.

[BOYS GRUMBLE]

You watch, he'll get a spare.

Come on, Ricky.

Hey, kid, you're
holding it all wrong.

- Let old Brad show you how it's done.
- Brad.

Excuse me. Say, Brad, I think maybe
he'll be better off doing it his way.

For a guy lucky to be
waterboy, you've got a big mouth.

I don't think he needs a
lesson in front of the other kids.

- He needs a man to show him.
- He's doing just fine. Excuse me.

Here you go, Ricky.

And give it your best
shot. Okay? There you go.

Sorry.

Ah-choo!

[BOYS SHOUT]

Gesundheit.

Thank you.

Hey, Gus, the boss
wants to see you.

He can see me all
right. Hello, Mr. Lewis.

No, not that boss. The boss.

- You mean, the boss...
- Yup.

- Wants to see me?
- Yup.

Oh, my God, why
would he wanna see me?

I mean...

Why would the boss wanna see me?

There's no reason.

Then why'd he...? Oh, I know!

It's my suggestion for
the volleyball uniforms.

That's it.

Ross the boss. Ross
the boss. The boss!

Be calm. Be cool. Be collected.

Mr. Webster? Mr. Webster?

Mr. Webster, I did
not... Mr. Webster.

WEBSTER: Mr. August Gorman?

GUS: August Gorman here.

I know you're a man of compassion,
and I don't wanna go to jail...

because they have
robbers and rapists...

I just wanna ask
you one question.

You've been a naughty
guy, haven't you?

Come on, admit it now.

You've been just a little
bit naughty, haven't you?

- I was kind of...
- That's all right. I understand.

I can... What do the
young folks say today?

"Dig where you're
coming from, brother."

- You wanna be rich, right?
- How, what?

I was born rich. Never worn
the same pair of socks twice.

GUS: What do you
do with your socks?

I don't know. They're laundered and sent
to some charitable institution, I think.

Actually, I don't know. Maybe
they turn them into dust rags...

or pen-wipers or something.

Or maybe socks.

Yes! That never occurred to me.

Gus, you know
something? You're a genius.

A naughty genius, but what the
hell? Nobody's perfect, right? Cheers.

Because of the half-cent
thing with the computers.

No, no, because computers
rule the world today.

The fellow that can fool the
computers can rule the world himself.

I've been searching for somebody
who can make these machines...

do what they're not
supposed to. Get my drift?

- GUS: Yes!
- Gus...

Webscoe, the Webscoe industrial
complex, is a family-owned cartel.

Some magnesium
here, some zinc there.

Railroads, farm
machinery. You follow me?

GUS: I follow you, sir.

- Gus, do you know what I want now?
- No.

I want coffee.

All right. Black,
cream, sugar, or...?

No, you don't
seem to understand.

Under different company names, I
control the price of coffee beans...

in Venezuela, Brazil, Bolivia,
Jamaica and the Republic of Gabon.

But I've got a problem and I
think maybe you can help me.

One country won't play ball with me.
You know how that can bug a guy, right?

That could bug... What country?

- Colombia.
- Colombia?

Colombia has two important
exports, and one of them's coffee.

And I've tried to reason with
them. Believe me, I've tried.

But this one miserable,
pissant little country...

has the gall to think it can dictate
the economy of an open market. Gus.

Gus, my friend...

we're going to teach
them a lesson, aren't we?

Destroy the entire
Colombian coffee crop...

right down to the last bean.

- The last bean, we are.
- Right.

But you got so much.
You know, like...

A wise man once said, I
think it was Attila the Hun:

"It is not enough
that I succeed.

Everyone else must fail."

Seems fair.

- Gus.
- What?

You are going to do this for me.

- How?
- The weather.

You didn't say your
mother was here.

I'm his sister. His baby sister.

Gus, tell me, have you
ever heard of Vulcan?

Hi, Ms. Vulcan.

Vulcan is the weather satellite
our government put up...

to monitor the weather.

But if somebody were to
reprogram it, it could do much more.

It could make weather.

WEBSTER: Storms and floods.

VERA: Blizzards, heat waves.

How do you do that?

Like everything else in
the 20th century, Gus.

You push buttons.

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

- There you go.
- It's the first time I won anything.

You won my hand, Maury.

But this is the first time
I won anything valuable.

Let's get one with
the sombreros.

Mr. White, you'll be in this,
handing them their plane tickets.

- Why do I have to do this?
- Why do I have to do this?

You're lucky I didn't fire you. I
get a chance at exclusive photos...

of history's
biggest factory fire.

He comes home with a broken
leg and 12 melted rolls of film.

It was hot.

Smile, Mr. White.

South America! I
can't believe my luck!

See, if you don't want
them to trace it back...

you've gotta punch in to
some little rinky-dink outfit...

that has a little Mickey
Mouse computer...

Some place you
can sneak into, right?

Somebody could...

Some place where nobody knows
him so they can't connect him with us.

Webscoe has 112 subsidiaries.

They're all linked into the
central computer system.

How about some place...

small?

DRIVER: Smallville. This is Smallville.
We'll have a five-minute stop here.

Mind your step.

Watch your step, please.

Thanks, Selma.

Thanks a lot, Lana.
Have a good day, now.

CLARK: Let me help you, Lana.

I'm sorry.

- Thanks, Clark.
- Sit down, Buster. Good boy.

RICKY: Come on, Buster,
sit down. That's a good boy.

CLARK: Okay. You all set? Great.

Wow.

MAN: I'm not
saying another word.

That's it. Okay?

Jesus Christ!

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Don't they have picnics
in Metropolis, Mr. Kent?

Well, not quite
like this, Ricky.

- Mom and I do this all the time.
- You do?

- I'll help you.
- Stay close by and be careful, okay?

Okay, Mom.

RICKY: Come on, Buster. Let's
find you a rabbit. Come on. Rabbit.

- This is so nice for him.
- Here you go.

It's even nicer when there's a
man around, which isn't that often.

- There's a lot of choices.
- The good ones are married.

That's why Brad thinks
he's God's gift to women.

He won't take no for an answer,
but he's the only one asking.

No, Lana, I meant there's
a lot of choices here.

This is really quite
some picnic. There's...

some of that.

Green stuff.

Hey, pâté.

Boy, this pâté
is really unusual.

I didn't make any... Oh, Clark.

That's Buster's dog food.

- It's good.
- Don't eat it!

What time's the dog eat?

- This is nice.
- Here.

It's all right, Lana.

Thanks.

[BUSTER BARKS]

Hey, where you going? Come on!

Buster, stop messing about!

- How much longer...?
- I was just thinking...

- I'm sorry. No, go ahead.
- No. You.

Well...

I was just thinking that...

somebody like you could
do really well in Metropolis.

I suppose I have to face it. I'm not gonna
find what I want in Smallville anymore.

Could I make it in Metropolis?
What would I do when I got there?

Call me.

- No, I wouldn't wanna call you.
- You don't wanna call me?

Yes, I wanna call you, but I
wouldn't wanna be a nuisance to you.

I don't think you could ever
be a nuisance to me, Lana.

Clark, may I tell you something?

My oil pan is leaking.

See? There's something dripping.

- Can I give you a hand?
- No, thanks.

With all the car trouble I have,
I studied up on auto repair.

Look at this.

CLARK: Oh, boy.

[CLARK HEARS BUSTER WHIMPERING]

Lana, I think I'll just go see
if Ricky's all right. You okay?

Yeah.

FARMER: Gosh, is he all right?

Hi.

Superman?

That's me.

RICKY: Mom! Mom!

There you go. He's all right,
but have a doctor check him.

Thank you.

- I'm Lana Lang. This is Ricky.
- Nice to meet you.

And this is Clark.

I really have to be going.
So long, Ricky. Bye.

We were flying, Mom!

What were you doing, anyway?

I was looking for Buster.

- Buster! Buster!
CLARK: I found him!

CLARK: Come on, boy. That's it.

Mr. Kent, Superman was here!

- What?
- Yes, he really was.

Aren't you excited?

I'm from Metropolis. I
see Superman every day.

You do? Could you
get me his autograph?

I don't know. If I had a nickel
for every time some little kid...

[RINGS BUZZER]

Yeah? What do you want?

We're in big trouble, aren't we?

- What?
- We're in big trouble.

First, they lost the invoice.

When they found it, they realized
they came up short on a few items.

So I rented a car because I missed the
plane from Cleveland. 4:00, you know.

And a flat tire on the
highway. What a kicker.

Had to fix it myself
with these little pinkies.

And I figured your boss was gonna
be real peeved, you know what I mean?

What do you mean?

He is going to hang our
butts against the wall.

He wanted this
special order installed...

in his office no later
than tomorrow morning.

Let me in because I
gotta set it up tonight.

Get all what set up?

Pal, you are a real lifesaver.
I mean, a real lifesaver.

- Which way's the office?
- Straight on ahead.

- Follow me.
- I'm right behind you.

Oh, yeah.

BRAD: Not bad. It's pretty good.

You know what's wrong
with this Singapore wing?

GUS: Sling! Singapore Sling.

What's wrong with it?

There's not enough vodka in it.

There's no vodka in it!

What did I tell you?
Put some vodka in it.

What did you...? You know.

- Yeah.
- There's vodka in it now, buddy.

Yeah, perfect.

- You never do pass out, do you?
- Nope.

Never.

Job well done, buddy.

You thought I was drunk
too, didn't you? Ha, ha.

Fooled you.

Get the keys, get the keys.

[YELLS]

Somebody's drunk.

Hello, baby!

How's the little baby?

Okay.

All right, let's get
down to it. Let's do it.

One, two, button your shoe.

"Both keys at the same time"?

Whoa.

Wait. Wait a minute.

Think you've won, don't you?

The Philly Flash!

[MAKES CAR NOISES]

Okay, ready?

One, two, three!

Yeah. Now we'll
see what we'll see.

[CHUCKLES]

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Oh.

Oh...

Oh.

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

[HORNS HONK AND PEOPLE SHOUT]

Come on, please.

There it is!

Hello! Now... getting
down to business.

I am a genius.

I am a...

Longitude...

and the other
thing. Latitude, right?

Oh, look, Maury.
A native wedding.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

No one said at the Daily Planet
that this was the rainy season!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER
AND SHOUTING]

NEWSCASTER: Meteorologists are
baffled by the tornado and rainstorms...

that struck the country of
Colombia this afternoon...

threatening to destroy the nation's
entire coffee crop for the next five years.

Gale-force winds up to...

an incredible 250 miles an
hour lashed the countryside...

while 12 inches of rainfall have
already been recorded in just one day.

A spokesman for the Department
of Meteorology said this was, I quote:

"The most awesome display of
natural forces since Noah's ark."

If I laugh any harder,
I'll split my sides!

To defy all laws of weather
systems known to science.

What a shame.

Poor little Colombia. Well...

[WEBSTER CHUCKLES]

[SCREAMS]

I'm gonna get you
for that, you big silly!

Bubba, do you realize
what we're on to?

WEBSTER: Do I?

Every time a drunk sobers
up, he'll drink Webster coffee.

Why stop at coffee?

A cup of coffee gets the
world off to work in the morning.

But what keeps
the world working?

Diet soda?

Vera, you mean...? You mean...?

Today, coffee.

Tomorrow, the oil!

- Oil?
- If Gus can push the right buttons...

I can have it all. Holy cats!

All the oil.

All the pumps.

All the tankers.

This is some nifty idea, Vera.

GUS: Boss? WEBSTER: Very nifty.

- Just the man I want to see.
- Boss, it is not my fault.

Isn't it neat? There...

- What's not your fault?
- Superman.

How was I to know he was
gonna start doing his thing...

when you started
doing your thing?

VERA: What are you talking about?
- What am I talk...?

It was just on television,
man. Didn't you see it?

Don't call me "man."

I just saw Colombia
bite the dust. That's all.

You didn't see the man come flying
out of the sky from the clouds? It was him!

With his cape flapping in the...

His cape was
flapping in the wind!

He was flying! He was great!

He was just flying around...

His cape was blowing in the
wind like this. It looked like a flag!

And he landed right in the
middle of this big plantation!

And he checked everything
out with his x-ray vision.

And then he put these laser beams
out of his eyes onto everything.

Straight-out laser points.

Dried up everything!

Just like that!

I'm talking about drying it up,
like machines in the men's rooms.

You know what I mean?

Hot air comes out when
you put your hands under.

Sometimes they
don't work, right?

But Superman's worked!

You think he stood around
to take bows? Not this man.

No, sir. He flies
off again. Right?

Then he saw what
really caused the trouble.

He flew into the tornado...

went down to the bottom of
it, and turned it upside down!

He made the little end on top
and the big end on the bottom!

I was gonna go crazy!

I've never seen nothing like it.

The big end was on the bottom.

Little end on the top.

Mr. Ross, it was... The big...

Superman's bad.

I'll say he was.

I mean, he was bad!

No.

No!

Here, let me help.

- It was a perfect plan. It was foolproof!
- And we were the fools.

It's not my fault. I did
what I was supposed to do.

He ruined it. That lousy
do-gooder ruined it.

Now that he's pulled off this stunt,
he'll try and ruin my oil scheme too.

- I've got to get rid of him.
- How?

Shoot him? You know
about him and bullets.

- Kryptonite.
- What?

Or krypton-ham,
or krypton-heimer?

I forget what you call it, but
it's stuff that can hurt Superman.

- How would you know about that?
- I know a few things.

I know, from the graffiti I saw.

WEBSTER: Wait a second.

She's right.

Kryptonite. I remember reading
about it in an interview with him.

VERA: Where does it come from?

WEBSTER: The same planet
Superman came from: Krypton.

VERA: Where is Krypton?

GUS: It's nowhere.

It blew up in space, years ago.

They sent Superman here from
there when he was just a baby.

I know some things too.

Wait a minute. You know what
happens when a planet explodes.

- Debris. Things floating
in space. VERA: So?

So all we have to do is find out
where in heaven Krypton used to be.

Then we get good old Gus
to contact the Vulcan satellite.

Old Gus has been
doing some thinking.

Good. That's why
I keep you around.

Yeah. I've been thinking that I'm
not making enough money for this gig.

Gus, if there's
anything I hate...

it's greed.

Greed? Mr. Ross, just a minute.

Let me tell you something.

I can't ski!

[YELLS]

WEBSTER: Once Gus
contacts the Vulcan satellite...

he orders it to search
through space...

around where
Krypton went bye-bye.

Then the laser probe locks on
to a floating chunk of Kryptonite.

The computer analyzes
the components...

and the boys at the lab
duplicate the stuff down here.

GUS: "Unknown"?

"Unknown"?

What the hell, he
ain't gonna smoke it.

SECRETARY: Mr. White
can't be responsible.

Where is he?

Please, Mr. Stokis.

He'll pay for this.

Get out your wallet!

PERRY: Good morning. STOKIS:
Don't you "good morning" me.

"Old, old relationships suddenly
seem very much the same.

The prettiest girl
in the school... ".

Is still the prettiest
girl in the school.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello? LANA:
Hello. Oh, hi, Clark.

Lana! Hi, I was just
thinking about you.

Oh, um...

Listen, I have a
problem with Ricky.

Why? What happened to Ricky?

It's Superman's autograph you
got him. He got carried away...

and told the kids Superman
was coming on his birthday.

Okay, it was wrong...

but when Wednesday comes and
Superman doesn't show, it's gonna...

Well, Lana, in this case I think I can
go ahead and speak for Superman.

I mean, he and I are
pretty close, you know.

And you can tell Ricky that Superman
will be there on Wednesday, all right?

Well, he's gonna get the best
home-cooked meal he's had...

in a long time.

- Tell Superman we think he's wonderful.
- All right.

- But, Clark...
- Yeah?

You're the best.

And I'll take it to the
Supreme Court if I have to.

But it wasn't our fault.
It was an act of God.

In a church?

SCIENTIST: Hey!

Here's that compound
you ordered.

Can't imagine what
you want with it.

But you got it.

What the hell am I
afraid for? I'm from Earth.

[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]

SUPERMAN: Lana, I really
wasn't expecting all this.

I guess they did get
a little carried away.

Superman, we all know...

that you're not looking
for honors and awards.

But when we heard that you
were coming to see your pal Ricky...

we realized that this was
our chance to say thank you.

First, for putting out
the Lake Comooga fire.

And not least, for
saving little Ricky.

So since you already
have the key to our hearts...

Superman...

may I present you
with the key to the city.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

[HONKS HORN]

As you were.

Now listen up.

I just came in directly...

from the Pentagon...

and you better believe there's
a damn good reason that I did.

Because God has given us...

one of the greatest
gifts in the world:

Chemicals.

Now, you people, you like to go
sit in church on Sunday, don't you?

You like to sit and
watch the Super Bowl.

CROWD: Yeah.

Sit on what?!

You sit on molded,
plastic seats!

Molded to your well-fed behinds.

Now, I don't have to tell you
that America leads the world...

in high-grade plastics.

We cannot afford a
chemical-plastics gap.

Now, listen to me.

Do you want...

our president of the
United States sitting down...

to write a peace treaty...

and have his ballpoint
pen bust open...

and the ink run out all
over his nice, clean pants...

in front of the world leaders?

CROWD: No. No.

Now, we all know...

that last week, half of
this great nation of ours...

almost bit the bullet...

if it wasn't for this man here.

[CHEERING]

And all I can say is, thank
the Lord for Superman.

Superman, you saved our bacon...

and I'd like to
show our gratitude.

This is a small token
of our appreciation...

to show to you for saving us
from a chemical-plant disaster.

Thank you very much, general.

This is very nice. Thank you.

[CROWD CHEERS]

[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]

It's very nice.

Unknown. How am I supposed
to know what "unknown" means?

It means unknown. It means
nobody knows what it means.

- Hello, boss? WEBSTER: Gus?

- Gus Gorman here.
- I know that. How did it go?

You know how they're always
trying to find the secret recipe...

in that chicken in the bucket?

And nobody seems to
know the ingredient...

because it's unknown, right?

In the Kryptonite there was an unknown
element and Superman didn't die.

He didn't die.

I ask you to kill Superman...

and you're telling me you couldn't
even do that one simple thing.

Hello?

[BUSTER WHIMPERING]

[BUSTER BARKING]

He hasn't had an
afternoon nap for years.

This is the biggest day of his
life. I don't know how to thank you.

You did with that
wonderful lunch.

Oh, well, I do like to cook.

- You'll take some coffee?
- Yes, please.

- Decaffeinated, of course.
- Right.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Yes.

What?

Oh, really?

Yeah, he's here.

I'll tell him. Okay,
thanks. Bye-bye.

Superman, that
was my friend Betty.

There's an accident on the bridge.
A trailer crashed through the rail.

It's hanging off the bridge
and the driver's in the cab.

I'm sorry. I hate to
make you rush off.

Well, there's no rush.

- But the bridge...
- It's okay. I always get there on time.

Come on, let's relax a little.

It's unusual finding a good-looking
girl like you alone like this.

Listen, are you sure you shouldn't
do something about the bridge?

What bridge?

You're right.

I have to get going.

[SIREN WAILS]

OFFICER: Get him
out of there. Come on.

Get him out! Get him out quick!

Come on. Get him away.
That thing's gonna go.

MAN: Everybody okay? Joe?

What can I do to help?

Not much of anything now.

If only you'd got
here a minute sooner.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

"At a special session of
the General Assembly...

178 countries voted
to censure Superman...

with only Colombia abstaining."

I can tell you one thing.

He wasn't so mean and nasty
the other day in Smallville.

In fact, he was so
full of niceness...

I hated laying
that big chunk of...

Kryptonite. Don't you see?

That stuff we ran off in the lab
wasn't a complete failure after all.

Right after Gus gave it to
him, he started to turn into...

an ornery, evil,
malicious, selfish...

- A normal person.
- Yes.

And now that Superman is
out of the nice-guy business...

We can get to work on that oil.

[LAUGHS]

[BAND PLAYS AS PEOPLE CHEER]

ANNOUNCER: And now, the
supreme moment, as the last runner...

the one given the great honor
of lighting the ceremonial flame...

runs the last leg of a marathon
that began seven days ago...

as this torch has been
passed from athlete to athlete...

for 970 miles...
across the country.

How can he say that pure
categories have no objective meaning...

in transcendental logic?
What about synthetic unity?

Hi, honey! Am I in your way?

- Stick around, you may learn something.
- Hi, Lorelei.

All the oil tankers in the world
are totally controlled by computers.

They tell them where to
go, how much oil to pick up...

and where to deliver it.

Don't they have
captains on these ships?

Yes, but they don't need them.

That's a throwback to some
sentimental, seafaring baloney.

VERA: You will command the
tankers to sail toward a 50-mile area...

in the middle of
the Atlantic Ocean.

And do what?

And do nothing.

Just sit there.

How are all the people
gonna get their oil?

You catch on fast, old buddy.

Every oil pump in
America is run by...

- Computers. I know.
- Will you stop interrupting?!

I'm sorry.

You will command the
pumps to stop pumping.

WEBSTER: Then I want you to
program one special command...

into all these systems.

Tell them these
orders are irreversible.

So it would be impossible for
anybody to switch them back.

Can you do this
for me, old buddy?

Old pal?

You know, you get
your way all the time.

And it's not right.

I wanna know when I get a taste.

I think you've already had a
taste of freedom, haven't you?

Or would you prefer jail?

You can't run that
jail number on me.

Because I know I mean more to
you out here doing things for you...

than sitting in jail doing
nothing for nobody.

I see.

What do you want?

What? A waste basket?

No. These are plans.

Blueprints.

- For what?
- A computer.

- We've already got computers.
- No, not like this.

There's not a computer like
this in the whole world anyplace.

It doesn't exist. You see...

we have to build it.

What will it do?

Anything I tell it.

What will it do for me?

For you? It will do anything
you tell me to tell it to do for you.

LORELEI: Wow.

Tell me.

GUS: First of all, if anyone
attacks this machine or anything...

the computer counterattacks it.

I mean, it finds their
weaknesses and wipes them out.

WEBSTER: Right, old buddy.

You deal with my oil and
I'll build you your machine.

GUS: Okay, I'll do it.

But I'm not so sure about
this irreversible business.

They all kind of
went... What the hell?

WEBSTER: That's
it. The last tanker.

They're all mine now. All mine.

Yay.

VERA: Not quite.

What's that in the
upper-middle quadrant?

It's a tanker.

And it's going the wrong way.

Skipper?

There it is again.
"Proceed immediately to..."

latitude 30 north,
longitude 45 west.

"There await further orders."

Hell, that's the
middle of the Atlantic.

I'm not taking my ship there
just to await further orders...

no matter what that says.

We're supposed to go to Metropolis,
and we're going to Metropolis.

All right.

MAN 1: That's
where she is. Yeah.

MAN 2: Come on, get it up there.

OFFICER [ON PA]: Miss?

Miss, can you hear me?

Listen, we are here to help you.

Don't jump. I
repeat, do not jump!

Thought you'd never get here.

Don't expect me to save
you. I don't do that anymore.

Don't worry.

I'm long past saving.

[CHUCKLES]

Well...

don't let me keep
you from anything.

I'm not in a rush.

What did you have in mind?

Lots of things.

Oh, yeah?

Ooo...

If you'll just do me
one little favor first.

What's that?

Well...

See, there's this little boat...

and it's not going where
it's supposed to go and...

SAILOR: Stop all engines!

Stop all engines!

[EMERGENCY HORN BLOWS]

Hi.

How about a little après-ski?

Champagne?

Take your turn
like everybody else!

Stop it!

He's coming over here, Martha.

MAN 1: Don't you do that!

WOMAN: Don't! Please!

MAN 2: Hit him
with your handbag!

Help me! Please, help me.
Somebody's beating up my husband.

- I've gotta call the police.
- Jack, go with her, okay?

The third one today,
and at night it's worse.

Somebody's behind this.

You can't tell
me there's no oil.

You can't say someone's
not getting rich off this.

Someone's always getting rich.

You know who
suffers? The small guy.

NEWSCASTER: The East
Coast gets the brunt of the spill.

[WORKERS SHOUT INDISTINCTLY]

No, I cannot go
out with you tonight.

No. I'm busy tomorrow night too.

Oh, yeah? Doing what?

I'll think of something. Look...

- I gotta go. Ricky needs me.
- Lana.

Brad, please stop
calling me. I've told you!

Well, you listen to me, huh?

You better start
appreciating old Brad.

What else you got in Smallville?

What else have I
got in Smallville?

I think I got the right answer.

So do I.

Smallville Airport, what flights do
you have to Metropolis tomorrow?

- Where do I put this?
- Over there.

- Where do you want this?
- Put it up there.

[PEOPLE CHATTER lNDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN: Are you kidding?
I'm not going in there.

Hey, hey. Come on.

MAN: Just leave him alone.

I can't get through.
Something's happening.

MAN: Hey, look!
Superman's drunk!

- I wanna see what's happening here.
- Ricky. Ricky!

- Ricky.
- Yeah, that's right.

- Thank you.
- It's a disgrace, that's what it is.

I'll tell you, nobody's ever
gonna trust that creep again.

He's washed up.

What are you looking at? Huh?

RICKY: Excuse me.
Superman? It's me, Ricky.

Ricky from Smallville.

Tell them you
won't hurt anybody!

He's changed.

No! Maybe he's just sick.

Superman, please get better!

LANA: He's not listening to you.

Yes, he is. He can hear
me. He's got super-hearing.

Superman, you're
just in a slump!

You'll be great again!

You can do it, Superman!

Superman, you can
hear me, can't you?

Superman, you're
just in a slump.

You'll be great again.
You can do it, Superman.

Superman, you can
hear me, can't you?

[YELLS]

MAN 1: He's gone nuts!

Come on!

[CHUCKLES]

I can give as good as I get.

Oh, yeah? All right,
come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on!

What's the matter, Kent?
Too warm for you, huh?

Come on, chicken!
Come and get me.

You've been on my
nerves a long time!

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

You always wanted to fly, Kent.

Now's your chance.

[CLARK YELLS]

[CLARK GRUNTS]

[GASPING]

Skipper!

God, would you look at that!

WEBSTER: Miss Lorelei
Ambrosia isn't at home right now.

But if you'd care to
leave a message...

why not deliver it
to her in person?

So you've finally
shown your true colors.

Well, if you're looking for
us, here's where you'll find us.

Do drop in.

LORELEI: Wow, this is fun!

Fun? The fun's just starting.

Wait till Superman finds
us, then you'll see some fun.

Wait, you gonna
mess with Superman?

VERA: Let's go. I want to be ready
for him when he falls into our trap.

I just don't see why you can't
balloon down like the rest of us.

Well...

No way.

I just don't believe
a man can fly.

LORELEI: Watch out, horsy!

Don't, don't, don't.

Just don't try to fly.

Don't try to fly!

Will you get out of my way!

- Hurry! Hurry up!
- I am hurrying.

LORELEI: I can't see anything.
VERA: Turn on the light.

LORELEI: Where's the light switch?
VERA: Where do you usually find it?

LORELEI: I don't know. I
guess I'll check the doorway.

God, it's pitch-black in
here. Oh, that's better.

Wow, what a jukebox!

WEBSTER: I told you, didn't I?

There. The ultimate computer!

It does everything a computer can do
and 1000 things none of them can do.

VERA: Let's give it a dry run.

WEBSTER: Wait a minute.
We've gotta wait for Gus.

VERA: Who needs Gus?

- He's the only one who can
operate it. VERA: Like fish he is!

I know enough about computers
to put a Ph.D. to shame.

Come now, brother
dear, you didn't think...

I was gonna let that little
man run the show, did you?

Why don't peons tidy
up when they're done?

Come on, Bubba, it's showtime.

Engage those buttons to
activate the alpha circuit...

and lock the modular grid.

You! Activate circuits
29 through W-7...

and start full-power coordinates
on exterior defensive systems.

In other words,
push this red button.

How did you know about that?

[BEEPING]

He's here!

VERA: Good. Let's give
him something to worry about.

Now, let's see...

Tracking systems locked.

Let the games begin.

LORELEI: Don't
tense up now, honey.

VERA: Come on, Bubba,
you're wasting your rockets.

Come on, Superman!

Let him have it, Ross.

VERA: Bubba, keep firing.

Keep him occupied
while I get the MX ready.

GUS: What the hell is going on?

VERA: You keep your rockets coming.
He won't notice the missile till too late!

VERA: So much for
your catlike reflexes.

Oh, God!

Ha, ha!

No more. Look, you sit.

Sit, sit!

Help!

Hello? Forget you, jackass!

WEBSTER: That's
him out of the way.

Sis, how would you like to control
all the world's weapons systems?

Baby!

It's Daddy!

Hey, what are you
doing with my baby?

Gus, old buddy, genius.
Come up and join the fun.

He's still coming. Arm
the inner defenses.

All right, the game's over.

Hi, honey.

I don't know you, lady.

But the other night...

I'm sorry, but that wasn't me.

That guy's gone.

And you're next, Webster.

WEBSTER: Never underestimate
the power of computers.

How do you like it?

SUPERMAN: I think it's typical
of people like you, Webster.

Instead of helping others, the four
of you just wanna help yourselves.

Four of you?

You mean, us? Four?
Wait... Hey, man!

That's only his last name. He
likes to be called "Superman."

See, I'm not with
them, Superman.

You could've fooled me, mister.

WEBSTER: That's very good.

VERA: Let's see how long
he can carry on without any air.

[SUPERMAN GASPS]

He's still coming!
He's going to get me!

Don't bet on it!

[SUPERMAN GROANS]

You're hurting him.

- That's Kryptonite! VERA: Yes.

- This time we got it right!
- You're a genius.

You've invented a machine
that can find anybody's weak spot.

Congratulations, old buddy.

You'll go down in history as
the man who killed Superman!

I'm... No.

Superman!

No!

VERA: Where do you think you're
going? WEBSTER: Never mind.

WEBSTER: Turn the power up.
LORELEI: Hasn't he had enough?

WEBSTER: Turn it up!

Power! More power!

Whoa!

Ow!

Seventy-five. Current 7.75.

There's a current level of 7 that
is not supposed to be on bar...

Oh, here it is!

[COMPUTER POWERS DOWN]

WEBSTER: What's going on?

I don't know. The power's gone.

Gus must have
pulled the plug out.

It worked.

It worked! I got it!

WEBSTER: What have you got?

- Give me that screw.
- This screw?

- That screw.
- Never!

WEBSTER: Hey, wait. I can't see.

[WEBSTER GRUNTS]

VERA: What?

Holy...!

LORELEI: No! Make it stop!

I can't! It's out of control!

But how? Where's it
getting the power from?

It's feeding itself.

It wants to live!

[CAR HORNS HONK
AND PEOPLE SCREAM]

It's this thing here.
We'll go to the zoo.

I'll do that tomorrow, and
then we'll go on to the...

- What's happening?
- It's okay, Ricky.

Put the lights on!

Stop it! You're killing him!

Stop it!

Hey. Put me down!

Don't leave us alone
in here! Superman!

Oh, I get it.

The coaxial energy shaft is
engaging the grid source factor. Right.

We're through,
frogface. I'm splitting.

Hey, wait a minute!

Girls. Girls, come out of there!

Help me! Please!

Sis?

Oh, my God.

What is that?

[SCREAMS]

Lorelei!

Sis, it's your Bubba!

Help me. Help!

Superman!

Honey!

Honey, I'm stuck here!
Help! What about me?

Look out!

[SCREAMS THEN GRUNTS]

Bubba?

Thank you, brother.

Regular or premium?

She hasn't had a drink in so long,
give her a tankful of the good stuff.

How you doing?

Please don't talk to me. I'm
having enough trouble hanging on.

Okay, we'll go slow.
You're perfectly safe.

I'm not gonna argue with you.

I mean, any man who can trick
my machine can do anything.

How did you beat my defenses?

Those defenses are good as
long as it didn't know it's in trouble.

This time it didn't see the
danger. I went in with plain old acid.

It didn't know that when acid
gets hot, it'll eat through anything.

- Watch the trees.
- Whoa!

I guess it died of
acid indigestion.

But what's gonna happen
to Ross and the ladies?

They're gonna have to see the
police. It's not your problem anymore.

Are we in Metropolis yet?

Nope. We're just gonna make
a little stop right over there.

Whoa!

We're on the
ground, Gus. Morning.

- You okay, Supe?
- I'm fine.

Excuse me a second.

Can you guys spare one of these?

- Sure, Superman.
- It is Superman, isn't it?

Are you kidding? Is that...?

Didn't you see us
fly out of the sky?

We're the only two men
who can fly. "Is it Superman?"

SUPERMAN: Just right.

Okay, Gus, let's go.

I was afraid you'd say that.
I thought I'd take the bus.

Well, suit yourself. Does your
boss have a computer here?

Yeah, he got a little
bitty one about that big.

You tell him he can do a lot worse
than to give Gus Gorman here a job.

Wow, thank you, Supe.

Take care.

I'll see you around.

SUPERMAN: So long.

Take it easy, man.

Well, you got good references,
so if you want that job...

Nah, this is not for me.
I think I'll take that bus.

Can you tell me where
the bus station is?

Yeah, about nine,
10 miles over there.

Nine or 10 miles. Okay.

Hey. You really flew with him?

Superman? Have you
ever seen Superman before?

No.

Oh, you don't know about me
and him? Me and Superman?

Yeah, we go way back together.

We always, usually,
sometimes, we...

Nine or 10 miles?

I think I'll walk.

Yeah, I'll walk.

Yeah.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Clark.

What a nice surprise! Come in.

- Gosh. Hi, Mr. Kent.
- Hi, Ricky.

- Guess who Mom's having dinner with.
- Who?

Superman!

Yeah, that's what
I came to tell you.

Superman said to
tell you he's sorry...

but he's run into a problem and he
won't be able to have dinner with you.

- I guess he misses a lot of dinners.
- Yeah.

Would you mind settling for me?

Any day.

- I'll get my things.
- Okay.

You know, Lana, I was talking
to Superman the other day.

You know, he
and I, we talk a lot.

And he felt badly about you
having to pawn your diamond ring.

Well, he found...

He found this one
just lying around.

He wanted you to have this.

Wow, a ring from Superman!

- It's okay. I got it.
- Sorry.

Look at that.

LANA: Oh, Clark.
- It's okay.

It fits.

It looks really pretty.

Thank you.

BRAD: Well... - Brad.
- Brad.

Son of a bitch.

Kent, I hate you.

I've always hated you.

- You know why?
- No.

- Because you're nice.
- Not really.

And nice guys finish last.

[BRAD YELLS]

PERRY: Lois, I've
got to hand it to you.

Who else could turn a
vacation into a story...

that'll blow the lid off of
corruption in the Caribbean?

I knew I was on to something
when that taxi driver kidnapped me.

Lois, you're terrific.

I have to be. Seems I've
got some new competition.

Hmm?

The story that you wrote
on the class reunion?

- I thought it was terrific.
- Thanks.

And fascinating. I liked the part
about the little girl back home.

I'll take you to lunch
and you tell me about it.

I'd love to, but I'm having lunch
with Mr. White's new secretary.

- Hi, Lana.
- Hi, Clark.

Lana. Lois, say hello to Lana Lang,
Smallville's newest gift to Metropolis.

I'm glad to meet you.
I like your writing a lot.

Thank you.

I like your sparkler a lot.

Me too. I couldn't believe
it when Clark gave it to me.

- Clark gave it to you?
- Yes.

SECRETARY: Mr. White.

Mr. White, look
what I've got for you.

People, I am in love
with this machine!

Mr. White, excuse me, but I have a
couple of errands to run before lunch.

- Go ahead, Mr. White.
- Where's the handle?

There is no handle.
You just push the button.

[LANA SCREAMS]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[English - US - SDH]