Original subtitles

You got slapped in the fucking face?

Ha!

You got your three, motherfucka.

You been needing that.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. What else happened?

Okay, so apparently Moms keeps trying to bond with Ashley,

but it's not quite landing.

That's two very different parenting styles

under one roof, and Trish has been MIA

since the slap heard round the world.

At least Ashley has Janelle,

even though she been gone for five years

and they lost touch that whole time.

Anyway, I'll know more after our visit today.

Visitation is canceled.

Come back tomorrow.

Come on, man.

Fuck!

*BLINDSPOTTING* Season 01 Episode 03

Episode Title: "The Four Hustlateers" Aired on: July 04, 2021.

Look, can-can I just be real with you?

It-it has been a while since I've been out.

And I'm still really adjusting

to being back. I mean, it felt like...

I've been in this whole other dimension, right?

And only now am I realizing that...

This is the real one.

And being there...

Is only there there. You know what I'm saying?

You know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying?

And I have forgot everything while I was there.

Then I got back here.

And everybody is here here

but I'm here there or-or...

Or there here.

Does that make sense?

Mm.

Why don't you tell me about yourself?

What's your days like?

My days are pretty mellow lax,

mobbing around, play some football

with my broletariats.

- That's what I call my dude crew. - Broletariats,

- okay. - Yeah, I try to stay active...

on PS4.

I would say we could hit up that diner by the Fox,

but they turned it into an arcade now.

They got these wack-ass bowling alleys

with these, like, weird, tiny balls.

Bocce.

Bocce? Where's that at?

Well, shit, a white nigga that work in the front,

he let me slide in the back,

and he let me carry up in here, too.

And I ain't talking about that thang either.

I'm talking about this bottle of Heen, you feel me?

Heening and scheming, you know what...

You don't carry a thang, do you? Like...

Oh, nigga, always tucked, my nigga.

- Oh, my... what the fuck? - Shit, nigga.

That way I ain't got to come up off no bread.

Wait, what's that on your neck?

- Oh, th-this? - Uh, yes.

Born somewhere else,

but my soul was waiting for me here.

- You meditate? - Oh, my God.

When you're boring these pistols at these niggas,

you got to be centered, calm, vipassana.

My greatest craft is just how 100 I keep it.

I'm just a real one, hella solid.

- A solid real nigga. - So 100.

I repair antique fountain pens.

What?

What?

What?

What are your- what are your days like?

This.

I check and make sure ex-cons aren't getting weird...

or fucking up.

Extension cord?

That's from column A, Earl.

Do you have a job yet?

I don't need a job.

I'm just riding this shit out until my year is up.

You need a fucking job to fulfill your probation.

Staying unemployed will get you sent back.

Got it?

This is pertinent information

you could've shared earlier, James.

Wha...?

You killing me, dog.

Wha...

Jame...

Whoa, whoa!

Ja... No!

What the fuck are you doing?

You went to jail for weed, Earl.

And now it's legal,

and I'm on private property.

That's $10 you owe me!

I just didn't think, as paranoid as you are,

- you would even risk that shit. - It's for my paranoia!

Oh.

Uh, do they got other probation officers?

Like, do I get to choose about...

Get a job, Earl, today.

- What kind of job? - I don't know.

Think of something. Be creative.

Learn a craft.

Find something you're fucking good at.

The last of my weed.

Aah!

So there's, like, no way

I pull this off, right?

Nancy keeps trying to sell me Kente cloth,

and I keep saying, "Nancy, I can't wear those!"

And she says, "You don't support Black business."

And I say, "For fuck's sake, Nancy!"

And I buy three scarves.

Do you want to talk about your visit?

Ah, I was in line at 6:30 this morning to make sure

I was through security by 7:15 so there would be no way

that we would miss our 7:30 appointment,

and then they pushed it!

So then I waited until 9:00,

and then they pushed it again until 11:00

and then again till 3:00 p.m.,

and then they told me that visitation was done!

Fuck!

I don't know, maybe he'll find another butt phone

and-and call me tonight.

When you guys say butt phone,

do you mean...

You know what?

I'm just gonna be happy

not being clear on what that is.

Where's Sean?

He's having a sleepover

at that weird kid Simon's house.

They want to watch a movie

about dogs living in reservoirs.

I don't know! Shit!

- No, he can't watch that movie. - Rainey, it's a dog movie.

Sean can watch a dog movie with his friend!

I'm telling you, you're gonna want to see that movie before...

Rainey, I'm the mother.

Okay.

Well, it's just us girls here tonight.

Got the whole place to ourselves.

We can do whatever we want.

Ahh.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Savor it

and let it be completely free to consume you.

Mmm.

What does that freedom feel like?

- The fuck? - Sorry!

Sorry, my bad. Sorry.

I just... are you, like, a phone sex girl or something?

Seriously? No, I'm not.

I do these guided meditations for this app

called Zen Diagram.

What you want, Earl?

Uh, could I do the Zen Diagram thing, too?

Like, as a job?

Like, it-it be paying well?

Um...

I think that you need

to find a job doing something that you do.

- Huh. - What do you do?

Do you want help finding something?

Okay, so...

get all situated here.

That's for you to take notes.

Okay. Let's find you a gig, my nig.

Uh, can we smoke first? 'Cause...

Earl, no. Now, come on.

Take this seriously.

Don't you see me in this damn suit jacket?

Now, what are your skills?

Well, I'm a hard worker,

considerate, charming at times,

relatively attractive.

I-I kind of let myself go a little bit when I was...

Those are not skills. I need skills, Earl, skills.

Okay, uh, all right. Um, well, I'm-I'm a good cook.

We definitely can find you a job cooking.

No, I-I'd rather not.

It's just...

my pops, he's a chef at...

You know that spot Brewer's Feast?

Nigga, swear.

Brewer's Feast? I don't understand.

I grew up in the kitchen.

I worked the line under my pops as a teenager.

It kind of ruined it for me...

and he and I's relationship in general.

- He paying your rent here? - Yeah.

Is your mama charging you rent?

Not yet.

Those Zen Diagram meditation checks

seem to be coming slow in the mail.

How were your dates?

Also slow males.

Oh, so they didn't go so well. Let's take note of that.

Ha ha.

Out of curiosity,

how 100 do you keep it?

I keep it, like, two. Two's a good number.

Men in the Bay are like restaurants in the Bay...

a lot of trash, some reliable staples.

Tonight I'm having Ethiopian.

- Okay. - Men.

- Okay, Ma! - Holla!

Get a real job your damn self, Janelle.

Man, I need to smoke.

- That's what I'm saying. - I need it.

- Two blunts- -Come on, right?

- Or maybe even three blunts. - Shit, let's do it.

Heeey, I don't got no weed, though. Do you have some weed?

♪ I think you set the mood right ♪

♪ Champagne and blue light ♪

♪ And a back seat big enough to do what you like ♪

I think we should smoke.

I just try to do that at work.

No, I mean smooooke.

You know what? Yes.

We should do that.

I'm out of mine, but I'm actually sure

Miles always keeps some in his...

- Closet in his room? - Yep.

Be right back.

I swear, man.

That's that bullshit.

Yes.

Sheesh.

Bitch!

No, fuck!

♪ Let's get it started ♪

♪ Let's get it started ♪

♪ Let's get it started ♪

Oh, so y'all got, like, a whole little system here.

Shit, we been smoking together for many moons.

Oh-ho-ho, What?

This is hella impressive.

- Who is that? - That's Nancy's tenant, Earl.

You saw him when you slapped Trish.

You were busy.

Yo, man, me and Ash,

we been friends since, like,

what, sixth grade, back at Lowell?

I still remember how it happened, too.

So this stupid boy, fucking Demarcus Riley,

he really liked Ashley, right?

And he wanted to kiss her, but she wouldn't let him.

So then one day, you know, he was just like,

"Man, fuck you, you light-skinned bitch!"

- Oh. - Listen, whoo!

I heard him call her that.

Earl, I was like, "Oh, hell, no!"

I grabbed him, held him down while she beat that ass!

Besties!

Mm, okay.

So you're of the hyphy variety, then.

Do you know we were sneaking down here

and doing this in near silence since we were 16?

Late at night, I'd be in Miles' room just...

Cuddling.

And then he'd want to smoke,

so we came up with this pulley system with Collin.

And you called yourself something, right?

The three... something.

It was four of us. Me, Collin, Miles, Janelle.

- Right, right, right, right. - The Four Hustlateers.

- Hey! - What up, though?

♪ Hit a hustler for the plug All on a bitch ♪

- ♪ Any way you wish ♪ - ♪ Any way you wish ♪

♪ 'Cause we some motherfucking thugs! ♪

Yeah, I know your song.

I know you were down here getting high,

'cause you ate all my ice cream,

and you were "cuddling" loud enough

for the whole house to hear.

So you knew we were fucking and smoking in this house?

So, yeah, uh, me, Ash, Miles, and Collin,

man, we was the squad.

- I miss that shit. - Mm.

But I wanted to travel.

And I actually wanted Ash to roll with me,

which would've been hella lit,

but she was just moving in with Miles,

and then she had Sean.

And then my brother Collin got locked up

and then came out and then, like, pointed a gun at a cop

in a cop's house or some shit.

And so he had to dip, and then... Miles went in,

and, you know, it's just town shit.

- What? - Yeah.

It was a whole movie.

Shit is just different now, I guess.

Y'all niggas is wild.

Everybody wild if you push 'em.

When I catch Sean with a girl or a boy,

I'm gonna... What the hell am I gonna do?

I have no idea what I would do.

That's having kids.

Your heart walks around in their stupid little bodies.

Isn't it awful?

You just let us do whatever we wanted?

I wouldn't say "let." I mean, you were smoking weed.

Who cares?

And I kept his room filled with condoms since he was 12,

and they just kept disappearing.

Jesus. What is that thing?

No, thank you.

One hit of that, I'd be in a coma.

Let me have what's left.

Mm.

Damn, Janelle.

So you always smoked weed, huh?

We never saw you.

You kids were too dumb to pay attention.

How come you didn't just smoke with us?

Seemed smarter to let you think you were being rebels.

Plus, Trish was so little then,

she wouldn't have understood why I didn't let her do it.

Trish loved watching us smoke back then.

She thought we were so cool.

What happened?

At some point, the new rebel rebels against the old rebels.

Welcome to being the old rebels.

So what are you?

Fucking elder rebel.

- Earl. - Hmm?

You hungry?

You know...

I am.

I could make us up something quick.

I just got groceries.

So I'ma just say something to you now,

and I don't want you to take offense,

but, uh, I need to speak my truth.

All right.

Uh, you're not a good cook.

Nigga, fuck you.

I'll have you know that I have a very advanced palate,

- okay? Worldly. - No, no, no, no you don't.

What you mean, no?

The other morning, I watched you

dip... breakfast pastries in milk.

Why would you bastardize breakfast?

Wow.

I don't even believe you can cook.

Yeah.

I'll tell you what.

- What? - Cook-off.

Right now.

And then we can honestly assess who's the better cook,

which is probably me.

Man...

Nigga, bet.

Smash!

- We finna have a cook-off. - Mañanas.

Nice having Collin back.

What?

What?

Wait.

That's not what I mean.

Janelle. Jesus, I got to smoke.

Can you keep a secret?

I can.

I don't let him know

when I visit, but I'm so mad at Miles.

He had an opportunity to take a deal.

Why didn't he take it and get back to you and Sean?

This... "loyal to the soil" stuff is such tough-guy bullshit.

I mean, who are you protecting with that?

It's not that simple.

I don't know. It seems pretty simple.

What's complicating it?

Here.

You want to put this somewhere in my room?

I wouldn't want Sean to get to it,

and I will be getting to it.

I'm just saying that Emeril Lagasse

is basically Black.

It's undisputed.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, the way that he was hitting

- them "bams" like that? - Uh-huh.

I wish I could hit those. Bam!

You know, you could-you could make this with fish as well.

I know you like seafood.

Oh. You a "piscopalian"?

What? Catholics can eat fish.

No, that means you only eat fish.

That's what they're called.

There's "piscopalian," Presbyterian,

and "pescapalian."

Only one of those is real.

Do you know which one?

Yeah, the one that means you only eat fish.

- It's pescatarian. - That's what I said.

You said "pescapalian."

Nigga! That means something, too.

It's Episcopalian, Presbyterian, and pescatarian.

- Promise. - Right.

Okay, so then just say it back,

'cause that's not what you said.

- Oh, my God, man! - Just say it back!

Right, dang!

It's "escapalian,"

"piscopalian," and p... Uh, shit, no, wait, fuck!

- It's... - Ah, fuck! I don't remember.

Um, it's just... Let's just not.

- Fine. It's fine. - Yeah.

What the hell?

God.

Let me be bougie. It's all I got.

That's 25.

I'm going to have to start renting out

some of these houses.

Didn't Miles teach you how to play bones?

Not this well.

Guess that's why we don't play here.

You know, I've been wondering why you aren't mad at Miles.

I've seen you mad at him for all kinds of things,

but this time, there's no yelling, no anger, nothing.

It's not my business, but I noticed.

And I want you to notice that I noticed.

Noted.

I'm just trying to figure out when...

Because if you did want to tell me,

I'm sort of your mother, too, right?

Domino.

Not that...

Your mother was a wonderful woman,

may she rest in peace,

and you had your dad, but he was a piece of work.

I was proud of Miles for helping with all of that.

But you also grew up in my house.

I saw everything.

You can talk to me about whatever.

Domino.

You know, you can talk to me about whatever, too.

I put the weed in your closet, by the way.

- Did you look around? - I did.

Look at us...

both moms.

And we moms get to keep our secrets, don't we?

We hold them for the family.

Right?

Deal.

I'm out.

What you got for me?

"Pescapalian"?

Wow, do you just want to look it up?

Man, dang, my brain is all jumbled now 'cause of you.

- Maybe if you see the word... - No, no, wait.

"Piscapal"...

No, no, no, wait. It's, uh, pescatarian.

Yeah.

Okay, bitch, I'm back. I know words.

Uh, another match.

I swear, this town is such a...

It's like somebody took a story about Oakland

and tried to make it from memory.

Like, some stuff is just way off.

Why'd you come back, then? You was gone for five years.

You must have had a whole other life.

It wasn't supposed to be five years.

It just happened.

Shit, I'm gonna be out faster than your brother was

after his probation.

I'm trying to hit Europe or some shit,

marry some sexy-ass oui, oui-ing-ass

French Mediterranean woman, pop out a kid.

Work on a... fishing boat or some shit.

I don't know. You ain't never wanted

anything like that?

That's not real.

And it was time to come home. So just let it go, okay?

And now I'm trying to distract myself...

get out more, build my career.

You should do that, too. Get a job.

They got boats here.

Sorry.

So you don't want to taste my clearly superior curry?

This one.

I know! I know.

I'm that chef. I am the spice king.

- You made that? - I sure did.

Please remember this moment.

I may need you to testify later.

All right, chef, hold up the winning bowl.

It's official.

You brought us food. We have your mug shot.

Welcome to the family. Don't start no shit.

It's hella late. Who is that?

Mommy.

Oh, baby. What's wrong?

He wanted to come home.

He got scared from watching Reservoir Dogs.

No shit he did. You let him watch Reservoir Dogs?

Isn't it a nature doc?

The nature of man.

I tried to tell you!

Good night, Earl.

Good night.

You know, he just-he just kept crying and saying,

"Don't take my ear!"

Oh, baby, don't worry.

You're safe, okay?

- Want to go brush your teeth? - Will you come with me?

Yes. Thank you, Leah.

Yeah. A-and don't worry.

Next week we're doing Boogie Nights.

- He'll be fine. - Great.

- Thanks. - Yeah, good night.

- I wasn't looking. - I wasn't looking!

You didn't call it, so you don't get

the points. They're mine now. Mine!

She got you, bro.

It should be-listen! It should be...

♪ Hit a hustler for the plug, all on a bitch ♪

♪ Anyway you wish, cuz we some mothafuckin' thugs ♪

Shit, my baby can rap.