Original subtitles

[Puss in Boots] Star light, star bright,

first star I see tonight.

I wish I may, I wish I might

have this wish I wish tonight.

Once upon a time, a Wishing Star fell from the sky…

scorching the great woods black.

The Dark Forest was born,

the Wishing Star hidden at its center

filling it with new life

and the legend of a single wish locked away in the star,

waiting to be granted.

[crowd chanting] Puss in Boots! Puss in Boots!

-Puss in Boots! Puss in Boots! -[neck cracks]

-[Puss in Boots] Welcome to my fiesta! -[lively music playing]

[Puss in Boots] Make yourselves at home, yeah!

Come on, eat.

Drink up. [laughs]

[crowd exclaiming]

[Puss in Boots speaks Spanish]

-Good to see you again. -[exclaims]

[cow bellows]

[giggles, grunts]

Papa! He stepped on my face!

And we will never wash it again.

People of Cordova!

It's Del Mar!

-People of Del Mar! -[cheering]

Accept this golden gift from Puss in Boots!

-[coins clinking] -Play a song!

No, no, no. I couldn't.

-Sing, Puss, sing! -[cow bellows]

Nah, I couldn't possibly…

[strums chord rapidly]

[playing lively guitar melody]

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

-♪ Who's brave and ready for trouble? ♪ -♪ You are, you are! ♪

-♪ Who's so unbelievably humble? ♪ -♪ You are, you are! ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who's the gato who rolls the dice? ♪

♪ And gambles with his life ♪

♪ Who's never been touched by a blade? ♪

♪ Puss in Boots is never afraid ♪

[cheering]

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[clucks]

[Puss laughing, exclaiming]

[Puss vocalizing]

-[Puss laughing] -[cheering stops]

[clears throat]

[bleats]

[gasps] My clothes!

-My wig! -[whinnies]

My portrait!

Oh! Hey, Governor!

Uh, one second.

[ripping continues]

The outlaw Puss in Boots!

Welcome! Mi casa es su casa.

No, su casa es mi casa.

Arrest these filthy peasants…

-[people exclaiming] -…and bring me the head of Puss in Boots!

Hey! This is a party! Where is the music?

♪ He's the blade of justice ♪

♪ Stands up against evil ♪

♪ Fighting for the people ♪

♪ And he's very good-looking ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[Puss exclaims]

♪ Puss in Boots ♪

Puss in Boots has never been touched by a blade.

[both] ♪ Never been touched ♪

But you?

-[buttons clink] -[yelps]

Skin that cat!

Governor, lighten up.

[crowd singing]

-[Puss] Ha-ha! -[Governor yelps]

[whistling, popping]

[grunting]

[growls]

[music continues]

[laughing]

Uh-oh.

Silly guards. Dog piles don't work on cats.

[rumbling]

[growling]

Holy frijoles.

You awoke the sleeping giant of Del Mar!

[people screaming]

[child] Giddyap!

Whee! I'm flying!

No! You are not flying! I will save you!

-Save me too! -If it's convenient!

You! Launch me.

Mmm.

And the rest of you, play double time!

[tempo increases] ♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[all] Oh!

[gasps, groans]

-Spanish Splinter! -[cheering]

[grunts]

-Gracias. -[gasps]

[slurps]

[shrieking]

Fear me, if you dare!

[cheering]

[growling]

[bell clangs]

-[giant grunts] -[bell clangs]

[bell clangs]

-[bell clangs] -[Puss] Yee-ha!

[laughing]

[Puss exclaims]

Yeah!

[laughing]

Whoo-ha-ha!

[growls] Mmm?

[Puss] Hey, giant!

Pray for mercy from…

Puss in Boots!

[bell clangs]

Hey, you wanna see something cool?

-[grunts] -[bell clangs]

-[Puss exclaims] -[giant groaning]

[giant groaning]

-[bell clangs] -Yes!

Gracias, Del Mar! You have been great!

-Get home safely! Good night! -[hen clucks]

[chanting] Puss in Boots! Puss in Boots!

You are still here?

[cheering]

Okay, okay. One more number.

I call this one "The Legend Will Never Die."

[bell clangs]

[crowd gasps]

[child] Puss in Boots!

-[angelic choir singing] -[person] Puss.

Puss?

Puss in Boots?

[groaning]

[blade scraping]

Where-- Where am I?

[person] Not to worry. You're in good hands.

My hands!

I am the village doctor.

I am also the village barber, veterinarian, dentist and witch-finder.

[coughs]

And in my professional opinion… [inhales]

…you need a wash, a blow out and a little trim around the hindquarters.

-Uh… -That's my professional barber opinion.

But putting on my doctor's hat, I think we need to run a few tests.

-All right. Reflexes. -[snarls]

-Cat-like. Temperature. -[growls, yelps]

-Now lift your tail and relax. -[gasps]

Trust me. I run hot. Yep.

Then how about the latest in modern medical technology?

-Leeches! -[leech squeals]

To draw out the evil humors.

[hisses]

Suit yourself. More for me.

Uh, listen, Doctor.

Thanks for everything, but I am feeling great.

Strong, like a bull! You know?

Now, do you know a good place to get some gazpacho?

Please. This is serious.

What is it?

Puss in Boots, how do I say this?

You died.

Doctor, please.

Relax! I am Puss in Boots.

I laugh at death!

[guffaws]

You see?

And anyway, I am a cat. I have nine lives.

And how many times have you died already?

Uh… I don't know. I never counted.

-I am not really a math guy, you know? -Gato!

Take it easy, Doctor. Let's see… [chuckles]

There was the running of the bulls in Pamplona.

[cheering]

Hola, señorita. [pants]

-Do you like gazpacho? -[bull bellows]

[laughs] Guess it's not your night, huh, fellas?

-[chuckles] -[all growling]

-[body thuds] -[Puss shrieks]

I am telling you, a cat always lands on his feet!

Watch!

No! Puss in Boots doesn't need a spotter.

Watch!

[grunts, shrieks]

No need to pull into port. This will revolutionize travel.

Watch!

Uh, excuse me, does this have shellfish in it?

Yes, sir.

Meh!

-[grunts] -[plate clatters]

Puss, I think you set the oven too high!

-I am a master of the baking. Watch! -Whoa!

And then there was the giant today.

[bell clangs]

So what is that? Like, uh, four?

That makes eight, Puss. You are down to your last life.

My prescription, no more adventures for you.

You need to retire.

Me? Retire?

Are you the village comedian as well?

Puss. Is there any safe place you can go?

Any special someone you can rely on in this moment of need?

[chuckles] I am Puss in Boots, loved by one and all.

Anyone in particular?

I mean, how could I possibly choose?

Mm-hmm. This is the address of Mama Luna.

She is a cat fancier, always on the lookout for a new lap-cat.

You will be safe there.

Lap-cat?

I am no lap-cat, Doctor.

I am Puss in Boots!

Not anymore.

Barber's orders. I mean, doctor's orders.

And remember, Puss.

Death comes for us all. Treat?

You really got to work on your bedside manner.

Ha! I am Puss in Boots! I am no one's lap-cat.

That doctor is a quack and a crazy man.

He should stick to cutting hair.

Last call, Señor Boots.

Another glass of cream. Make it your heaviest.

Oh! I keep the heavy stuff in the back.

[clock chiming]

[wind gusts]

[scoffs] Retire.

You are too good-looking to retire.

[menacing whistling]

Well, well, if it isn't Puss in Boots himself.

[chuckles]

In the flesh.

Uh, hey.

There's the famous hat.

The feather.

And of course, the boots.

My compliments to your cobbler. [chuckles]

[clears throat] Thanks. Uh, good to meet you too.

Hey, I never do this, but can I get your autograph?

Been following you for a long time.

Sign right there.

[chuckles] Puss in Boots laughs in the face of death,

bounty hunter.

So I've heard.

You will find your reward does not come easily,

this I tell you.

Everyone thinks they'll be the one to defeat me,

but no one's escaped me yet.

[sighs]

All right, let's get it over with.

Fear me, if you dare…

Okay, no more messing around. Huh!

-Slow. Sloppy. Sad. -[Puss exclaiming]

[wolf chuckles]

[grunts, exclaims]

[screams]

You're not living up to the legend, gato.

[both grunting]

[grunts]

[panting]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[wolf sniffs, growls]

[exhales]

I just love the smell of fear.

[heartbeat thumping]

[heartbeat accelerating]

-[Puss breathing shakily] -[wolf] What's the matter?

Lives flashing before your eyes?

Pick it up.

-Pick… it… up. -[heartbeat accelerating]

[grunts]

[growls, whistling]

[panting heavily]

[whistling continues]

[speaks Spanish]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

["Por Qué Te Vas" playing]

[sighs]

I am no longer worthy.

I'm sorry.

[thunder rumbling]

[sighs]

We are gathered here today to say goodbye

to Puss in Boots.

There are no words to express such a loss.

Thank you.

But it would be a crime not to try.

He was known across the land by many names.

The Stabby Tabby.

El Macho Gato.

The Leche Whisperer.

To some, an outlaw.

To more, a hero.

-To all, a legend. -[distant cheering]

I was right. Words were not enough.

But perhaps a song.

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite… [crying] …Fearless hero? ♪

You were! You were!

[sobbing]

[thunder rumbling]

[squeaking]

[sighs]

[person] I told you health department people, there are no cats here!

-Uh… [clears throat] Meow? -[locks clicking]

-[meowing] -[gasps]

Oh! You're not from the health department, are you?

No, you're not.

We better get you inside because, baby, they are always watching.

I am Mama Luna. And this is my home.

And now, it's your home too.

-Your forever home. [chuckles] -[gulps]

-Ow! -♪ The kitty gets a bath ♪

♪ The kitty gets a bath ♪

♪ Hi-ho the… ♪

I bet you never even had a name.

But you know what, I have thought of something perfect.

I shall call you…

-[bell jingling] -…Pickles!

Brother cats, sister kitties,

meet your new roommate. [chuckles]

Say hello, Pickles.

Meow? Huh?

[growling, hissing]

Oh!

What? Did I say something salty? It's my second language.

[grunts] Stupid mittens. Get off me.

♪ This is the end ♪

[singing in Spanish]

-[retches] -Oh, no.

♪ This is the end… ♪

[urinating]

[sighs, exclaims]

This is a person potty, Pickles.

-That's your potty. -[straining]

So this is where dignity goes to die.

[meowing]

[Puss grunts]

[exclaims] No, no way.

-[Mama Luna] Uh-uh-uh! -[shrieks]

-♪ I'll never look into your eyes ♪ -[exhales]

[meowing, purring]

♪ Again ♪

-[squeaking] -[singing in Spanish]

Meow?

♪ Desperately in need ♪

♪ Of some stranger's hand ♪

♪ In a desperate land ♪

♪ This is the end ♪

[sniffing]

-[goat bell dinging] -[bleats]

[sniffing]

-[growls] -You got the scent?

[growling]

These are too small, and these are too big.

But these ones…

these ones are just right.

[growling]

[Goldilocks cackling]

Baby! Track that cat.

[clangs]

[all meow]

[sighs]

Do you mind? Trying to eat here.

I mean, meow… whatever.

Oh, sorry.

[gasps, exclaims]

You're a talking cat? I'm a talking cat.

Let's talk.

[sighs]

I'd rather eat.

Oh, not a problem.

We can eat and talk at the same time.

No hablo inglés.

[speaking Spanish]

-I don't speak Spanish either. -[laughs] You're funny.

Ugh.

-Okay. Good talk. -Whoa, hang on.

Pickles? Is that your name?

Me, I don't have a name. Or a home.

[wind blowing]

So, I'm no expert, but you don't look like a "Pickles."

-Well, you don't look like a cat. -[gasps]

Okay, okay, okay. Full disclosure.

I'm not a cat. I'm a dog.

-[Mama Luna] Hi, Bon Bon. -[dog shushing]

Meow.

Oh! Pickles has a new girlfriend? Okay.

I live under the porch. It can get a little lonely down there.

It's mostly controlled by the rats and the centipedes,

but I have my own little corner.

Congratulations.

I just come up here for the food and the friends.

[growls, hisses]

Mostly-- Mostly the food.

Please don't tell anyone. I need this.

I won't tell. I don't care.

So you'll keep my secret? A secret between friends?

Just a secret.

It's funny. Despite all this best friend bonding,

you're still a mystery to me, Pickles.

What's your story?

My story…

What are we looking at?

…it's over.

[gasps] Oh, no.

Wanna rub my belly?

Hmm?

What… What's happening?

-Rub. -Hard pass.

Come on, rub. I need the practice.

I'm gonna be a therapy dog someday.

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm glad you asked.

When people feel bad, they can rub my belly.

It'll make 'em feel better.

-Rub my belly. -No.

-Come on! Rub it. -No. Not happening.

-Rub it! -No!

Let me be clear. I don't want to touch your belly, okay?

Okeydoke. So, what do you want?

I want to be left alone.

[Mama Luna snoring]

[sighs]

[exclaims, sighs]

You're back.

Oh, I never left.

[rumbling]

[creaking]

[sniffing]

The wolf. He found me.

[growls]

-[cats shrieking] -[Mama Luna exclaims]

[shrieking]

Hello, missus.

We're looking for a cat. This cat.

We've got an offer for him.

What could they possibly want to offer Puss in Boots?

What's a Puss in Boots?

Seriously?

I told you health department people, there are no cats here!

Make her talk.

[growling]

Excuse me, my darling.

We're looking for the legendary Puss in Boots.

Have you perhaps… seen him?

Too soft.

Out with it, you old biddy, or I'll have your guts for garters.

-[cries out] -[body thuds]

Too hard! That was not "just right."

Oi, Baby, sniff him out.

You don't tell me what to do.

Listen to your sister, Baby.

She's not my sister! She's a fugitive orphan.

-Ow! -She is your sister. Do as she says.

Fine! But all I can smell is cats' pee.

Everybody, get to the safe room! Just like we practiced!

Oi! She's leggin' it!

Follow me, children! [exclaims]

Give her the piano treatment, Papa.

Oh! You think this is the first time I've been stuffed in a piano?

[Goldilocks laughing]

[Papa Bear] Here we go!

♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

-Ah! -[Goldilocks] Mama! Focus, please!

-[growls] -[glass shatters]

[cats shrieking]

[screams]

-[singing continues] -[Baby Bear] There's cats everywhere!

-There's so many cats! [screams] -[cats shrieking]

Amateurs.

-I'll be outside. -[cat shrieking]

My cats can play better than you!

♪ Now's the time to roll out the barrel ♪

Goldi, is this him?

[Goldilocks] That's a dog in a cat costume.

-[chuckles] -Oh, yeah.

Tricky little bugger.

How about this one? He's a ginger.

[cat shrieks]

Is that a joke?

You think this scruffy, geriatric bag of bones

looks like a legend?

This is definitely not…

[Baby Bear] Puss in Boots! I found him!

Puss in Boots, dead and buried.

Dead? No, no, no. He can't be.

[sniffing] Yep. The nose never lies.

Well, that's that, then.

What say we go and hibernate, eh?

No!

The map is being delivered tonight, and we have one chance to steal it.

Without it, we'll never find the Wishing Star.

The Wishing Star. It does exist.

That star has one wish to grant.

One wish?

Think of what that could mean for us.

Nine lives! Yes!

Well, I don't see why we needed to hire Puss in Boots in the first place.

Ugh. Because nobody steals from Big Jack Horner.

No! Not Jack Horner.

Don't worry, love. We'll get that wish somehow.

Thank you, Mama.

Yeah. Because I've got a plan.

I can nick a map as good as any old cat.

[laughs] You've got a plan?

What? I'm smart, ain't I? Ain't I, Papa?

[Papa Bear] No. You ain't well fixed for brains.

Robbing Big Jack Horner. [clicks tongue] Very risky.

But that wish could get me my lives back.

And my life back!

Goodbye, Pickles!

Oh, no, Pickles, you're leaving?

Perro, start digging.

Okay.

But if this Puss in Boots is such a big deal,

maybe we shouldn't be desecrating his grave.

I don't think he would mind

because he…

is me!

Oh! Okay.

Oh, yeah. Uh… [clears throat]

Normally, I have a sword. It's like a whole thing, you know.

Pickles, you're Puss in Boots?

Not yet! But I will be.

I'll come… I'll come with you.

Sorry, Perro.

Puss in Boots walks alone!

[guard] Open the gates!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hands off the merchandise. We got this.

Okay. Just get in and get out. Easy peasy.

Lemon squeezy.

[exclaims] What are you doing here?

I brought you a sword.

That's not a sword. That's a stick.

It's a stick-sword.

Go home.

My home is where my friends are.

Again. Not friends.

-Rub for luck? -[scoffs] I don't need luck for this.

I am a highly skilled, master cat thief.

Watch!

-[grunting] -Mm-hmm.

You got this.

[grunting]

[footsteps approaching]

Mmm. [smacks lips]

I pronounce this batch…

delicious.

Ship 'em out!

[person] Mr. Horner.

The Serpent Sisters got the goods.

Is it? Is it the map to the Wishing Star?

Stop everything. You two, come with me.

We must get this to the trophy room.

You know, it took a lot of murdering to get this map.

It all started…

Take it to the trophy room!

[clanking]

[grunting]

-[phoenix trills] -What the…

Wow. Look at all the magic stuff.

Yes, I collect enchanted objects, magical icons,

bobbles, and geegaws, and la-di-da and blah blah blah.

[Serpent Sister 1] Check it out! I'm walking on a magic carpet.

Sweet. The shrunken ship of the Lilliputians.

Shut up! Are those unicorn horns?

Baby unicorn horns.

Half as heavy, twice as sharp.

Savage.

Ah! They're trinkets!

They're nothing compared to the awesome power of the magic Wishing Star.

Speaking of which, make with the box, Sister.

[Serpent Sister 1] You got it, boss.

Like I was saying, the amount of murdering we…

Make with the box!

After so many years of searching, this is my moment.

With this wish, I will finally be

the master of all magic!

[Serpent Sister 1] Hey, Little Jack?

-Excuse me? -Could you do the thumb thing?

-Shh! -Like in the fairy tale?

It wasn't a fairy tale! It was only a nursery rhyme.

Oh, yeah. The lame one.

♪ Little Jack Horner sat in the corner ♪

♪ Eatin' a Horner pie ♪

♪ Stuck in my thumb, pulled out a plum ♪

♪ And said, "What a good boy am I!" ♪

[panting]

Look! A magic puppet!

♪ 'Cause I'm a real boy No strings attached ♪

-[confetti cannon explodes] -Thank you, thank you.

What's impressive? I've been a boy the whole time.

[shouts]

Little Jack Horner didn't have any magic.

He was a pathetic, buttered baker's boy.

Little Jack's dead! I'm Big Jack Horner.

[Serpent Sister 2] Ah! Mr. Big Jack Horner, sir…

I barely know her.

[Serpent Sister 1] What do you mean? We're sisters, you goof.

We got matching face tattoos.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

[grunting]

-Puss? -Kitty?

-Puss. -Kitty!

-[grunts] -[Kitty shrieking]

[Kitty hisses]

This is my job!

No, this is my job. I'm double-crossing the Bears.

No, I'm double-crossing the Bears.

They tried to hire me earlier today.

Well, they tried to hire me two weeks ago.

That makes you plan B.

-[gasps] -[Jack Horner] Aha!

There it is!

Phew!

Now, about your payment…

Hold up. You promised us our weight in gold.

I did, didn't I?

Ever hear of the Midas Touch?

Ah, cool, dibs! [chuckles]

Oh, no! I misjudged the situation!

[gasps] This is why you don't cross Jack Horner.

-What is this? Are you a pirate now? -Shh.

It's like a possum crawled on your face and died.

Shh.

Of shame.

Please, mock me quietly.

I hate it. It's disgusting.

Well, I love it. It's distinguished.

[wood creaking]

[screams]

[grunts]

[gasps]

Great plan, Baby. Real cat-like.

Uh… Can I… go?

Pleasure doing, uh…

-Puss in Boots? -Goldi. Bears.

Hola, Jack.

Kitty Softpaws.

My, you have a lot of nerve coming back here.

Please. I was the best thief you ever hired.

You robbed me!

You set me up.

You said you were going on some spiritual retreat.

Namaste.

And you're supposed to be dead.

I got better?

Ugh! Just give us the map.

-And throw in a dozen pies. -Eh?

-Ooh! Have you got any savory pies? -What?

-Yeah, what flavors you got? -No!

[Mama Bear] Can we get all of that in a bag to go?

Ah! Would you stop talking about blooming pies!

-Focus! -[Lilliputians screaming]

Hand over that map, or I'll punch holes in the lot of ya.

[creaking]

[Goldilocks] Oh, bums.

Look out! It's coming down!

Ha! I hate talking fairy-tale animals.

[both scream]

[grunts, cackles]

[Kitty] Puss, get back here!

The best thief has won.

-Huh? -[Kitty] You're right.

She did.

Oh, come on!

There! They're getting away!

[shouting]

[grunting]

-[screams] -Ooh!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

-[grunting] -[swords clanging]

Nice catching up with you, Puss!

Gotta go!

Here, kitty-kitty.

Is that a stick? What are you gonna do with that? Ow!

Ow! Me knuckles!

You shouldn't have done that, mate.

Heh.

[exclaiming]

This idiot.

[grunts]

Hey, Puss! I found a sandwich in here.

-I think it's tuna fish. -Drive, Perro!

Okeydoke.

-[horse whinnies] -[guards shouting]

Oh, cool! Another member of the team!

-[both] We are not a team! -Eyes on the road!

Who is this guy?

-I'm Puss's best friend. -No! He isn't.

-And his therapy dog. -Definitely not!

Finally! You need therapy.

Give me the map. Trust me.

Trust you? Like I did in Santa Coloma?

Really? Santa Coloma?

Sí, Santa Coloma!

-Mine! -Mine!

-Mine! -Mine!

[both shriek]

[both hissing]

[both growl]

-[Puss exclaims] -[coins clinking]

[people exclaiming]

[horse whinnies]

Good people, accept this golden gift from Puss in Boots!

[cheering]

[menacing whistling]

-Speed up! Go, go, go! -[Perro screams]

Assemble the Baker's Dozen.

-Careful with this. -[screams]

[Jack Horner] I'll take this and that, oh, and these!

One of those, and I gotta take that.

Yes. Yes. No.

Yes!

Oh, yeah!

[humming]

And all of these!

[laughing] This one is right.

[bowling pins clatter]

[shouts]

-[bakers shouting] -[horse whinnies]

I'll get you, my kitties, and your little dog too.

[panting]

What?

This is blank. We've been ripped off!

Where is the…

Oh. Yeah. I knew it was gonna do that.

"The Dark Forest is deep and far.

Within its bounds, you'll find the star."

Ugh. The Dark Forest? No one goes into the Dark Forest.

Or comes out.

"A single wish burns true and bright.

This map's the key, so hold on tight."

[grunts, speaks Spanish]

You let go!

A stick? [chuckles] What happened to your sword?

Got rid of it, you know. Made things too easy.

I needed a challenge.

Yeah. You looked pretty challenged back there.

[chuckles] There's no way I'm letting you hold the map!

Well, there's no way I'm letting you hold the map!

I can hold it.

Yeah, right. What's your deal anyway?

You run with the Chihuahua Gang?

I don't think so.

I don't believe you.

That's okay. As long as you believe in yourself.

What? Is he deranged?

-Yep. -What's your name?

Oh. I've been called all kinds of things.

Dog. Bad Dog. Stupid Dog. Hey You! You There!

Get Out! Leave It! Drop It!

Big Rat. Small Pig.

Rat Face. Butt Nugget. [bleep] for Brains.

You know, that sort of thing.

But I've never had a name that really stuck, you know?

That belonged to me.

Is he done?

And you are?

Softpaws. Kitty Softpaws.

Wow! Yeah. Now, that's a good name.

There's music in a name like that.

Kitty Softpaws.

Nice try. Classic con.

No one's that dumb.

No one's that nice.

I don't trust you.

Me neither. He cannot be trusted.

But I trust him more than I trust you.

[Puss] Wow. This trip is going to be fun.

[horse whinnies]

This must be the Dark Forest.

[ominous laughter in distance]

-Oh, my God! -It's gone!

It's back!

-[Kitty speaks Spanish] -Nothing to worry about.

[chuckles]

We step through as one.

Ready? One, two… After you.

Wait, what?

[distorted exclaiming]

Dog? Still alive?

Let's go find out.

Wait!

[all screaming]

[Puss screaming]

Um… [clears throat]

[panting]

Whoa.

Wow.

For a Dark Forest, this place is pretty colorful.

I wish I had my quinceañera here.

The Wishing Star is in here, somewhere.

Kitty, may I please see the map?

-No. -Seriously?

You won't let me hold it for even one minute?

Nope. Not even for one second.

Come on, Kitty. You've got to trust me.

Wait. What-- What's-- What's going on with his eyes?

Oh, they're getting bigger.

Oh, Kitty!

You gotta trust him. Look at those eyes.

Really? You call that cute?

[Perro gasps] Oh, look at her! [gasps]

Those eyes are even bigger than yours.

Do whatever she wants, Puss.

Wait a second. So poofy!

No! With the paws?

Come on! [gasps]

With the hat?

It's all so cute!

[screams] Cuteness overload!

[grunts]

Can we look at the map now?

[groans]

"Follow this enchanted chart.

It knows your path and knows your heart."

[Puss] Is that us?

[explosions]

It says we must go through the Valley of Incineration,

over Undertaker Ridge,

through the Cave of Lost Souls?

-Really? [exclaims] -Let me take a look.

[rumbling]

What? Swamp of Infinite Sorrows?

Mountains of Misery?

The Abyss of Eternal Loneliness?

There's something wrong with this map.

I guess there is a different terrible path for everyone.

It's almost like the forest doesn't want anyone to make a wish.

Well, I don't even have a wish. But can I try?

Ooh! Mine says… [gasps]

…we skip through the Pocket Full O' Posies.

-[gasps] -What?

[Perro] Then drift down the River of Relaxation.

-That sounds fun. -No fair.

Why does he get the good ones?

Wander the Fields of Quick and Easy Solutions

and arrive at the star!

Oh, wow!

That sounds wonderful.

Oh, but no. This is your quest. I don't wanna impose.

-[both] You hold the map. -[Perro gasps]

-Really? -But don't you cross me.

-Or your name will be Perro Muerto. -Okeydokey.

Wait. Is that…

[distant screaming]

It's raining bears. Time to go.

[Goldilocks laughs] I'm telling ya, when we get that wish,

it will make everything just right for all of us.

Will it make us rich?

Rich enough to hibernate all year round?

The richest.

Will we be, like, big-time thieves?

-The biggest. -[chuckles]

Here, you know that suit Jack Horner wears?

-Yeah. -I'm gonna have one of them.

-Yeah? -Only mine will be purpler.

Like, twice as purpler.

The purplest!

-Nice. Big-time thieves coming through! -[Papa Bear] I'll race you!

-[Baby Bear] You can't beat me, old man. -[Goldilocks laughs]

What kind of wish can do all that, Goldi?

Oh! I can't tell ya.

If you say what your wish is, then it don't come true.

Sorry, birthday wish rules.

Oh, come on. Mother-daughter secret?

Mama, just drop it, please.

Oh. Okay.

Hey, come on. We've got some cats to catch.

[Perro] Birthday wish rules? What's that mean?

It means I'm not telling you my wish.

He doesn't wanna tell us because it's something stupid.

Like conditioner for that thing on his face.

It's distinguished.

What about you, Kitty? What are you gonna wish for?

Can't tell you. Birthday wish rules or whatever.

Ha! I bet your wish is something stupid like…

-[grunts] -[flower growls]

-[gasps] -[Kitty laughs]

You're such a…

[Kitty shrieking]

[gasps] This must be the Pocket Full O' Posies.

-[flower growling] -[Puss grunting]

Out of the way, demon flower.

It's pruning time!

[shouts]

[grunting]

[Puss, Kitty shouting]

[sniffs]

-[flower cooing] -Aww, thank you.

[screaming]

We don't have time for this.

Perro, I thought your path was supposed to be easy.

-[sniffs] -[flower squeals]

You know, I think all you have to do is stop and smell the roses.

Seriously? Ugh.

-[both sniffing] -This is stupid.

All I smell is bull…

Shh. Watch.

[sniffs] Ah!

-[Kitty shouts] -[Puss grunts]

Don't rush through it.

Take your time and really appreciate what's right in front of you.

[sniffs]

[flowers cooing]

-Ugh! His path is so corny. -[Perro] Gracias.

-And cheesy. -And lame.

-And weird, like him. -Yeah.

Why are you so ridiculous, Dog?

What's your story?

My story? Oh!

It's actually a very funny story. [laughs]

Back when I was a pup, me and my littermates lived with a family.

A family full of pranksters who liked to play hide-and-seek,

and I was always "it."

Pick on the little guy, am I right? [sniffs]

They tried putting me in a packing crate, a dumpster.

No matter how hard they tried, I'd always find them.

So, one day they get creative.

And they put me in a sock with a rock in it. [laughs]

And then throw me in a river. [laughs]

I gnawed a hole in the sock and I swam to the surface. [laughs]

Never found them, or my littermates.

-So, I guess I'm still it. [laughs] -Wow.

That is the saddest funny story I've ever heard.

Well, joke's on them.

That sock they put me in, I grew into it.

So, I got a great story and a free sweater out of it. Win-win!

Dude, you didn't win.

You, of all people, should have a wish.

I already have a comfy sweater and two best friends.

I got everything I could wish for.

No magic required.

[scoffs]

Hmm?

[flowers cooing]

[Perro] Oh! Lovely.

[sniffs] Oh! We're getting really close.

I can smell two cats, a dog… and pie?

Well, if it isn't the idiots who tried to steal from me.

Hey, he remembers us.

Behold,

Excalibur!

Excalibur! [grunting]

Excalibur!

Yeah, I couldn't get this rock off of it, but still pretty cool, right?

[Mama Bear] He's gaining on us!

[Jack Horner] Okay, little left.

-That's it! -Go faster.

What, he's up me back door…

[shouts]

[Mama Bear, distorted] Goldi!

[grunting]

[laughs]

[flowers growling]

[horses whinny]

Well… start chopping!

[baker] On it! You don't have to tell me twice.

I'm gonna chop the heck out of this Ficus lyrata…

Jerry, no!

Avenge me, Jack!

Die, die, die!

-[Jack Horner exclaims] -[baker 2 shouting]

Nope.

Time to bring out the big guns!

Guess I overpacked. [laughs]

Magic snacks. Save those for later.

Ah! Pay dirt!

All right, magical locust, defoliate!

Fly and feast! Eat those flowers!

I'm not a magic locust. Why, I'm not a locust at all.

What are you then? Some sort of demon grasshopper?

A deadly fairy? Put a spell on the forest then.

I don't cast spells.

Well, what do you do?

Well, I-I-I judge you.

I sit on your shoulder

and judge your actions and the quality of your character.

I'm your conscience.

I really did overpack.

Help me, Jack! Help!

Aren't you gonna help him, Jack?

You're losing a lot of men.

I'm not really stressing about the manpower.

I've got a bottomless bag of magic weapons.

These babies are gonna get me that wish

even after the whole team is dead and gone.

Now, now, Jack, as your conscience, I…

-[squawks] -Oh, my word! It's the noble phoenix.

She's the symbol of rebirth and the eternal…

-Oh, God! -[Jack Horner laughs]

Pretty boss flamethrower, right?

I really have my work cut out for me on this one.

[Jack Horner] Don't be near where I'm flame-throwing.

[Puss chuckles]

Do your job, demon flowers.

Soon…

[growls]

Okay, Kitty. I think I've got it now.

[straining]

Trust me.

Easy, easy. You're gonna give yourself a hernia.

Here, one more time, like this.

[echoing] Trust me.

Ah! But of course I trust you and Puss, even without the eyes.

Yeah? Big mistake.

What do you mean? You're my friends.

You know what trust gets you?

A sock, a rock and a swim in the river.

You have to trust somebody, right?

Not me. Uh-uh.

Whenever I've let my guard down, I've been double-crossed,

declawed, played and betrayed.

Never again. I am a solo act.

I keep my secrets and I play my cards close.

That's how you get a winning hand.

Take it from me. Never trust anyone.

Wh-- Wait. That's amazing!

You're good.

[clears throat] Kitty, I've been thinking.

Ugh. Thinking about what?

My beautiful beard. It is very distinguished, yes.

But it does deprive the world a good look at…

the face.

So, if it will make you happy, I could be convinced to…

-I've gotten used to it. -Wait, what?

The beard. Keep it.

Uh… Well, you see… [chuckles]

Kitty, please! Get this itchy thing off of me!

It's like a fever on my face.

Hold on. Is the great Puss in Boots asking for help?

Sí, help. You were right. The beard is disgusting.

And?

And it's like a possum crawled on my face.

And?

And died of shame.

Okay, okay, possum face.

I won't make you beg.

Ow! [grunts]

Hey! Slow down. Ow!

Go with the grain. You gotta go with the grain.

-I know what I'm doing. -Hey!

I'm a master of the blade. Right, Perrito?

[laughing, snorting]

What? What? What's funny?

-Nothing should be funny. -[Kitty speaks Spanish]

[blade swishing]

Ah. There's that handsome face I remember.

The face I haven't seen since…

-Hey! -…Santa Coloma.

[Perro] Ah, yes.

Santa Coloma.

You had it coming.

Here. You can have my gatito blade.

Thank you.

Better than a stick.

Vaya con Dios, stick sword.

[barks]

-[Perro barking] -Perro! What are you doing?

Perro! [whistles]

Where did that crazy dog go?

I think you like him.

No. No, I don't.

I think you're ready to name him.

No! I just need his easy path to get my wish.

You mean my wish.

[Jack Horner] You mean my wish.

Sorry.

[horses whinny]

[bakers shouting]

[grunting]

The Baker's Dozen.

Let him go.

Oh, I don't know. I might keep him.

Would you like a treat?

Nice granny bag, Little Jack.

It's not a granny bag! It is a magic nanny bag.

Now, make with the map,

or we'll see what the unicorn horn really does.

-[whimpers] -[Puss gasps]

[stammers] You're not gonna shoot a puppy, are you, Jack?

Yeah. In the face. Why?

-[baker screaming] -What the…

Give us the map, or else the baker man gets it.

[Baby Bear] Yeah.

I don't even have the map, Little Bo-Creep.

[baker shouts]

Stop throwing my men at me!

-[Perro exclaims] -Come here!

Puss in Boots has the map!

Let's get him!

[Goldilocks shouting]

-[clamoring] -[gulps]

I've got a plan.

First one to the dog gets the wish. [exclaims]

What? Oh, come on!

[bears snarl]

[shouting]

[laughs]

[exclaims]

[yowls]

-[Baby Bear growls] -[baker shouts]

Steady.

[baker shouts]

-[Puss] Whoa! -[baker exclaims]

[party whistle honks]

[spits] What?

[laughs]

So that's what they do. Cool.

No! Not cool!

-Aw, you shot me! -[party whistle honks]

Ah, the sight's off.

[grunts, sneezes]

I got him, Mr. Horner!

[Jack Horner] My bad!

Oh, no.

[menacing whistling]

[heartbeat thumping]

[whistling continues]

[heartbeat accelerating]

[gasps]

Puss, wait!

-Perro! -[Goldilocks shouts]

Thanks for the map, Softpaws.

[gasps]

No, no, no!

No!

Oi! You've just been crimed by The Three Bears Crime Family.

-Yeah! -So long, you plonkers!

[shouts in Spanish]

[grunts] Puss, where are you?

[panting]

[Puss exclaims]

[breathing heavily]

Puss? Puss?

-[Puss breathing heavily] -[Perro gasps]

Puss!

-[heartbeat thumping rapidly] -[Puss panting]

[distorted] Puss! What's wrong?

[heartbeat slowing down]

[exhaling]

[inhales, exhales]

[breathes deeply]

Thank you, Perrito.

What's going on with you, Puss?

I…

I am down to my last life.

And I…

I am afraid.

Well, it's okay to be afraid.

No, not for Puss in Boots.

I'm supposed to be a fearless hero.

A legend.

But without lives to spare,

I am nothing.

I need that wish to get my lives back.

You should tell Kitty. She would understand.

No, no, no, she cannot hear of this.

Okay.

[complaining in Spanish]

[Puss] Kitty will never trust me again.

Not after Santa Coloma.

But that's just one bad heist.

Santa Coloma wasn't a heist, Perrito.

It was a church

with a priest and guests.

-And Kitty. -[church bell tolling]

Everything but me.

I ran away then too.

Oh…

Oh.

[gasps] Oh!

You left her at the altar?

It was wrong. I know.

I am ashamed.

I just wish I hadn't hurt her so badly.

I regret that day.

So, maybe you should tell that to Kitty.

Might make you feel better.

Might make her feel better too.

Puss!

Dog!

Oh, there you are. What happened back there?

Kitty. I lost the map.

I messed up.

We'll get it back.

We've been in worse pickles.

Who told you that name?

What name?

Uh… Nothing.

The Bears! We have to find them before they find the star.

[Goldilocks] Oh, we are so close.

It's finally happening.

I can taste that wish now.

-And you know what it tastes like? -Pies?

♪ Pies! ♪

♪ Who ate all the pies? ♪

♪ Who ate all the pies? ♪

♪ We did, we did, we did, we did ♪

♪ We ate all the pies ♪

Oh, it's gonna be wicked.

Yeah! Imagine us.

A big-time crime syndicate.

Not a big-time crime syndicate, love.

A big-time crime family.

Isn't that right, Goldi?

-Goldi? -What?

Whoa! Hey, look, the map! It's going all fizzly.

What did you do? Give it me.

-Hey! -No, no, no.

-[Goldilocks shouts] -[Baby Bear exclaims]

Goldi, no biting!

-[Baby Bear exclaiming] -You're the smash, I'm the grab.

I hold the map. You got it?

[strained] Okay! [grunts]

[Goldilocks] "To find your wish, adjust your view.

What you seek may be right in front of you."

Well, that's a load of rubbish. What's that supposed to mean? [gasps]

[Baby Bear] Right in front of us!

[Mama Bear] It looks like our cabin back home.

[Goldilocks] You really think our cabin is in the middle of the Dark Forest?

Baby, give it the old sniff test.

Something's cooking.

-[Papa Bear, Baby Bear chuckle] -No.

-[bears laughing] -[Goldilocks] Do not open that door.

-[Mama Bear gasps] -We are home! Hello, door.

No, don't go inside… Ugh!

Maybe just a quick pop in.

-Hello, chairs. -What say we hibernate?

Hello, honey.

Hello, my old friend.

I have missed you so… [snores]

Look, Goldi. Porridge. [sniffs]

And it's made just the way you like it.

No matter how you make it, she doesn't like it.

Stop it! All of you.

Maybe our wishes have been granted.

Just stop! It's not our wish granted.

-It's an obstacle. -[yawns]

[Goldilocks] It's the forest playing tricks.

This isn't real. None of this is…

[Mama Bear] Ah!

That was your favorite book.

You used to stare at it for hours.

[humming]

[gasps]

[laughing]

[grunts] Too hard.

Whoop!

[chuckles]

Too soft.

[grunting]

Just right.

Oh, this was it.

What was it, Mama?

The day a little orphan girl

broke into our cabin and stole our hearts.

[exclaims, grunts]

The day when our world became just right.

[Perro] How's it going?

Can you see anything up there?

Not yet, Perrito… [exclaims]

You okay?

Sí, I am good.

So good.

[shouts, grunts]

[breathes heavily]

If you wanted to hold my hand,

all you had to do is ask.

Uh… Just feel free to pull me up whenever you get a chance.

Oh, I was just remembering the last time I offered you my hand.

Only, that time, I believe you had cold feet.

[chuckles]

Kitty…

[sighs]

About that day,

Puss in Boots is not supposed to be afraid.

But outside that church in Santa Coloma… [stammers]

…that was the first time I ever felt fear.

So, I ran.

It was a mistake, Kitty.

It's okay.

-No, no. It was cowardly. -It's okay.

-You alone at the altar. -Puss.

In your beautiful poofy wedding dress.

Puss! It's okay.

I didn't show up either.

Wait, what?

What do you mean, you didn't show up?

Well, I knew I could never compete with your one true love.

-Who? -Yourself.

The legend.

Uh.

I wasn't gonna show up for that guy.

But you don't seem like that guy anymore.

[Perro] Everything okay up there?

I'm giving you a thumbs up, just so you know.

[Kitty] Puss.

Look.

What do you think, bug?

Do I wait for the cats to steal the map and then kill them,

or do I just kill everybody all at once?

You know, I'm starting to think you don't appreciate the value of a life.

What? No. I mean, I love these guys.

-[bakers exclaiming] -Flex the glutes. I need a solid surface.

There's good in all people. There's good in all people.

You know, Jack, maybe we need to dig a little deeper.

Tell me about your childhood.

[sighs]

You know, I never had much as a kid.

Just loving parents

and stability and a mansion

and a thriving baked goods enterprise for me to inherit.

Useless crap like that.

But once I get my wish,

I'll finally have the one thing that will make me happy.

Oh, well, what's that?

All of the magic in the world. For me.

-[cackling] -And no one else gets any.

Is that so much?

Yes!

Agree to disagree. All right. Bring it over.

[bakers] No, no! No, no, no!

[bakers screaming]

Help!

Sweet Mother of Goose, Jack!

Well, you know what they say.

Can't bake a pie without losing a dozen men. [chuckles]

Oh. Oh!

That was horrible.

Your wish is horrible.

You're horrible!

You're an irredeemable monster…

Oh! Oh! What took you so long, idiot?

[screams]

Ugh.

You're not chatty, are you?

Mm-mmm.

Okay, you take the window, I'll take the chimney.

-What do I take? -You take it easy, Perrito.

We need you to stay here and, uh…

-Guard our rear. -Yeah, yeah.

On your six. Got your rears eyeballed and covered.

Hands in, crew.

Ready?

Go, Team Friendship!

Team Friendship? I did not agree to this.

Yeah, do better. Try harder.

No, just a placeholder name, you know.

I'll workshop it, okay? Go get 'em, tiger!

-Hey! Take it easy. -[Kitty chuckles]

[snoring]

-Ready to get our wish back? -"Our wish"?

Well, I've been thinking, if you play your cards right,

maybe we could share the wish.

Share the wish?

[snores]

[snores]

[grunts]

-[exclaims] -[sighs]

[gasps] It's gone!

Wake up. Someone's nicked the map.

What's all this? What's all this bother about?

Oi! Did you not hear her?

The map is missing.

Somebody took it.

Hola.

Oi! You crimin' us? When we just crimed you?

No. No crime-backs.

Oh, you're dead cat meat. [grunts]

Okay, okay. It's all… yours!

Nowhere to go, Softpaws.

Really? Let's see what the map has to say.

No!

Our cabin!

[Baby Bear] My honey! What the dickens?

Oh, no, you don't. [shouts]

[gasps] Oh, no.

Oof! [grunting]

-We're coming, Go… -I'll get it. I'll get it.

-Get off me, ya big lump. -Hold still!

I'm coming…

[Perro exclaims]

[Perro] Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Bears growling]

-Shall we dance? I'll lead. -[Puss grunts]

[shouts] Too hot!

[shouts] Too cold! Brain freeze.

-Oh! That is just right. -[shouts]

Hey? What the…

No!

[exclaiming]

[Goldilocks] Oi!

Forget something?

[Perro whimpering]

They got Perrito!

Don't worry, we can track them with this.

Wait, stop!

[Kitty screams]

[gasps]

Puss, watch out!

Kitty!

Puss!

Look.

There! There they are. Just out there.

You go get Perrito. I'll find a way out of here.

[Puss's voice] Puss…

-Hey, good-lookin'! -[screams]

Why so jumpy, amigo?

-Whoa, what's happening? -Hello, Puss.

Gazpacho?

Long time, no see.

-Always a pleasure to see me. -[cat shrieks]

♪ Hola, number nine ♪

It's a proper party now that all nine of us are here.

-[all apparitions] Yeah! -[laughter]

You know what?

[slurring] I love you guys.

So, you are my former lives?

Reflections of the good ol' days.

Okay.

Back when we were larger than life.

A legend!

We dance.

♪ We sing! ♪

-We are strong. -[all apparitions] Like the bull!

[speaks Spanish] You remember this one?

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[all apparitions] ♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[Papa Bear] Well, that's it. Game over, innit?

Them cats stole the stolen map we stole,

and we ended up with diddly-squat. Nothing.

Or maybe,

we could be happy without a wish.

What are we doing?

They ain't coming back.

Goodbye, purple trousers.

Oh, they'll come back. For him.

[Perro] You're darn tootin'.

Puss and Kitty always rescue me when I'm kidnapped,

which happens a lot.

'Cause we're a team.

-Oh, that's lovely. -Yep.

Team Friendship.

Ugh! No! That is a crap name.

Well, we're-- we're still workshopping it.

Oh, them cats ain't gonna risk their lives for this daft little pup.

You're just sayin' that because you want to eat him.

I do not.

I just wanna pet him with my teeth.

Stop thinking about your belly, Baby.

In fact, stop thinking, period.

You'll just hurt yourself, you muppet.

[laughs] Muppet.

And why would I listen to a porridge-stealing orphan like you?

You're not even a bear.

Zing!

[laughs] I'm more of a bear than you are.

She got you.

You're nothing but a low-rent Cinderella.

-Oh! -Well, that's rich, coming from you, Baby.

-'Cause you know what you are? -Wait for it.

You're a daft, fat,

slow-thinking, no-reading, Lyme-diseased,

-flea-ridden dingleberry bear. -Boom!

I haven't got dingleberries.

No, you do. You do have 'em.

-Dingleberries! -Oi!

You shut up, you little mutt, or I'll cut you from pooper to snooter!

[gasps]

I'm in the mix now! Okay!

Okay, here we go.

You're all a bunch of knuckle-dragging,

honey-scrounging, grub [bleep]

oafish [bleep] [bleep] munchin',

mangy [bleep] nugget [bleep]

and your snooter!

[laughing]

[laughs] I like the cut of his jib.

Ah! This is great.

Razzin' and ribbin' and barbin' and poopin' and snootin'. [chuckles]

Oh, I wish I had a family like this.

[sighs] Speaking from one orphan to another, Goldi,

you won the orphan lottery.

I like his jib as well.

-Let's keep him. [gasps] -What?

[Baby Bear] Hmm? Where'd he go?

No! We said no crime-backs.

No, Baby, wait!

Ow! Not the bees!

♪ The legend will never die! ♪

[Puss vocalizes]

-Bravo! -[laughing]

One more number.

No, no, sorry, fellas.

This has been fun, eh?

Yeah. But could you tell me how to get out of here?

I've got to get back to Dog and Kitty.

[music starts, stops]

Whoa! I thought you were going to get the wish.

You got the map. You don't need them.

Yeah, get those lives back.

Become the legend again.

Town to town.

[crowd cheering] Puss in Boots!

-Puss in Boots! -Party to party.

[cheering, laughing]

Puss in Boots walks alone.

Yeah,

Puss in Boots walks alone.

Was the legend so big, there was no room for anyone else?

The legend is still big, gato.

It's you that got small.

Yeah, you changed, man.

I hear he's best friends with a dog now.

And he doesn't even have a sword. [laughs]

Some hero.

You've become a scaredy-cat.

We should call him Wuss in Boots.

No, no. No. Didn't you hear?

His new name is Pickles.

-So lame. -[laughing]

Where's your litter box, Pickles?

You know what? You guys are jerks.

Which is very conflicting for me.

I'll find my own way out. Adiós!

Oh! You think you're better than us?

Without us, you will always live a life of…

Fear.

You!

I do love the smell of fear. [sniffs]

-It's intoxicating. -[hiccups] It is?

Sorry to crash the party with your past lives,

or your past deaths, as I like to call 'em.

[spits]

I was there to witness all of them. [echoing]

Each frivolous end.

But you didn't even notice me

because Puss in Boots laughs in the face of death, right?

But you're not laughing now.

[shouts]

You are no bounty hunter. You are…

Death.

And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically,

or poetically, or theoretically,

or in any other fancy way.

I'm Death,

straight up.

And I've come for you, Puss in Boots.

But I'm still alive.

[chuckles] You know… [inhales]

…I'm not a cat person.

I find the very idea of nine lives absurd.

And you didn't value any of them.

So, why don't I do us both a favor

and take this last one now?

That's cheating!

Shh. Don't tell.

Run, Puss in Boots! Make the wish!

[exclaims]

Go ahead. Run for it.

Makes it more fun for me. [snarls]

[panting]

-[Death] Run. -[panting]

[Death cackling] Run.

-Run. -[exclaims]

Run.

-[Death cackles] -Run.

Hey, Puss!

[Death] Run.

Puss! Puss, we're here.

[panting]

-[panting] -[Perro] Where's he going?

[breathes heavily]

[panting]

[Death] Run.

Run.

[Goldilocks] That's the third time we've passed that same rock, Baby.

[Papa Bear] Oh, not again!

What do you want me to do? I've lost the scent.

[Goldilocks] You only have one job.

The one thing that makes you mildly useful is your nose,

-and apparently you can't even use that. -[Mama Bear] Goldi.

I'm starting to think this wish isn't what you promised us.

-Leave off, Baby. -So what is it?

Eh? What's your "just right"?

What's so blasted important

that you've got us stranded in this haunted forest?

I'm getting a family! That's what. A proper family.

Then everything will be just right.

Your "just right" is getting rid of us?

Well, I guess some people just stick around until the porridge is gone.

Eh, Goldi?

Come on.

You didn't think I would actually stay?

I'm not a bear.

[rumbles]

I was always afraid it was too good to last.

And whether you think we're your family or not,

if this is something that will make you happy,

we'll get you that wish.

Come on, boys.

-[glass shatters] -Oh-ho-ho! What a good boy am I.

"Star light, star bright,

first star I see tonight.

I wish…"

I can't believe I fell for it again.

Kitty, you don't understand.

Don't understand what?

That you've been playing me this whole time?

I need this wish.

Oh, yeah? You wanna know what my wish was?

Someone, anyone I could trust.

Hey. [gasps]

In my whole life, I've never had that.

But I thought I finally found that someone without a wish.

I thought it was you.

But you're still running.

Still the same old Puss in Boots.

But I'm not! I'm not Puss in Boots.

I'm-- I am on my last life.

I need to get my lives back.

Without them, I'm not… I am not…

What? The legend?

[chuckles]

I still can't compete with your one true love.

Go on. Get your lives back…

[gasps]

Just keep them out of mine.

[whimpering]

Kitty, Death is after me!

What?

I've been called a lot of things,

but never "Death."

I like it. That's my wish!

Oi!

That's Goldi's wish.

[growls]

[growls]

[growls]

[growls]

[shouts]

[growls]

[shouting]

[Papa Bear] Grab it!

[Jack Horner] Move! Out of my way!

I've got it! I've got it!

Don't got it!

[grunting]

[Jack Horner] That's mine!

[rumbling]

[grunts]

Bang, bang, bang!

[grunting]

Oh, come on! You walked into that one.

[grunts, yelps]

Mr. Horner, I need your help!

Duly noted, but a little busy at the moment. Pew, pew!

Mr. Horner!

-[Kitty shrieks] -Ooh!

Ha-ha! It's bear season!

[grunts]

Oi! I'm gonna bust you up, plum-thumb,

and then I'm gonna wear your clothes!

That was weird.

-[Baby Bear shouts] -[Jack Horner laughs]

[whimpers] No, no, no! No, no, no, no!

-Baby! -Mama, help!

I got you!

-Papa! -Son!

I'm coming! I got you.

Help!

-Hold on! -Something's happening!

Help me!

No, no, no!

Hang on, son!

I can't stop it!

Mama, I'm slipping! I'm slipping!

[screams]

Like I told you, Baby,

you're the smash, I'm the grab.

Yes! Yes!

[grunts]

-[chuckles] -[Puss] No!

[grunting]

[cackles]

[grunting]

Hey, Softpaws. How do you like these apples?

Die! Blow up already!

-Soft paws! -[groans]

[shouts]

Okay, okay, you know,

maybe it's time to bury the hatchet!

-[Kitty grunts] -[babbles]

Oh, I shouldn't have telegraphed it!

[yips]

Yeah. I don't know what to do with this.

But if you think you need those lives…

Thank you, Perrito.

You know, I've only ever had one life,

but sharing it with you and Kitty

has made it pretty special.

Maybe one life is enough.

-[menacing whistling] -[gasps]

-Huh? -What is that?

[whistling continues]

Who's that?

He's here for me.

[Kitty] Puss!

I've enjoyed the chase, gato.

But I think we've reached the end now, you and I.

You gonna take the coward's way out?

Run away to more lives?

Or are you gonna fight?

[heart pounding]

Pick it up.

Go on. Pick it up.

[heartbeat accelerating]

[heartbeat calms]

[Death] What's the matter?

Lives flashing before your eyes?

No. Just one.

I'm done running.

Fear me, if you dare.

[chuckles] This is gonna be fun.

[exclaims]

[exclaims]

Yah!

[strains]

Bien. Muy bien.

[clicking tongue] You really gotta stop losing that.

[gasps]

Say hello to my gatito blade.

[shouting]

Come on!

Huh?

Pick it up.

I know I can never defeat you, lobo,

but I will never stop fighting for this life.

[growls]

[snarling]

[grunting]

[shouting in Spanish]

[exclaims]

You're ruining this for me.

I came here for an arrogant, little legend

who thought he was immortal.

[sighs] But I don't see him anymore.

[exhales]

Live your life, Puss in Boots. Live it well.

You know we will meet again, right?

[speaks Spanish]

[whistling]

[whimpers]

[chuckles]

You know, when you said Death was after you,

I thought you were just being melodramatic.

The wish is yours.

You deserve someone you can trust.

I don't need it. I've got what I wished for.

No magic required.

[rumbling]

[grunting]

[burps]

[Jack Horner] Ah. Magic snacks.

-[gasps] -[Jack Horner laughing]

-[Perro whimpers] -Holy frijoles.

I was worried for a second I would come out naked,

but my clothes grew too! Cool.

-[grunting] -Thank you.

[exclaiming]

Gotcha!

The last wish.

It's mine!

"Star light,

star bright,

first star I see tonight.

[Puss] Perrito!

I wish I may, I wish I might

-have this wish…" -[Perro] Señor Horner!

Please don't make that wish. Please.

Please.

What are you doing?

Please.

Seriously, are you having a hernia or something?

Pretty… [straining] …please.

They're such pools of vulnerability.

It's so cute

how you think that would work on me.

Don't you know I'm dead inside?

By the way, your nose is bleeding.

Oh.

I was just buying some time for Team Friendship.

Team what?

[shouting]

[gasps]

[both] Spanish Splinter!

Ow!

[Jack Horner exclaiming]

Hey!

What have you done?

No!

The map. My wish.

[Mama Bear] Go, go, go!

It's mine. [laughing] Huh?

[stammers] You looking for something?

Consider this my resignation, mister.

[phoenix caws]

Wha--

What did I do to deserve this?

I mean, what specifically?

[all exclaiming]

[Mama Bear] Gorgeous.

I hate to say it, but should we make a wish?

Kitty, one life spent with you

is all that I could wish for.

[Baby Bear] You saved my life, sis.

You was gonna make the wish but you didn't make the wish

'cause you wanted to save your family…

-[Goldilocks shushing] -…and I was really scared. And then…

-Oi, don't get so blubbery about it. -[Baby Bear crying]

Whose porridge would I eat otherwise?

I'm sorry you didn't get your wish, Goldi-love.

But I did, Mama. I did get my wish.

Everything

is just right.

Oh! Now you've made me cry.

[Papa Bear] Oh!

Now, what say we all go home and hibernate?

Goldi, you are a chip off the old block, you are.

Well, what can I say?

I won the orphan lottery.

Softpaws. Boots.

-Goldi. -Bears.

Hey, Baby, you got any ideas for our next job?

Oh! Remember that pie factory?

I suspect that they might be experiencing a leadership vacuum.

Oh, family business! Oh, how exciting!

Now's a good time to talk about ethical business practices.

[screams]

There's a talking cockroach on my nose. Get it off! Get it off!

[Goldilocks] Hold still.

[bug] Wait just a second.

[bug exclaims] Hey! Hang on!

Hey, Perrito. About that name. Let's pick one out for you.

-Yeah. Oh, what about Chiquito? -[Perro] Mmm…

Chomper! What do you think, Perrito? Chomper, no?

I got it, I got it. How about Jeff?

-Jeff? -Yeah.

He doesn't have a Jeff's face.

[chuckles]

You know, if it's the same to you, I think I'll just stick with Perrito.

I kinda like it, since that's what my friends call me.

Then Perrito it shall be.

[chuckles]

[Puss] You know, to be honest, Chomper is pretty good.

[Perrito] Yeah, but no.

[Puss] Well, we'll keep workshopping it. [laughs]

[Governor] I want this vacation to be perfect!

Did you remember to pack my captain's hat?

Yes, Governor. And your captain's shoes, your captain's coat

and your captain's pajamas.

And what about… My boat!

Puss in Boots!

[panting]

[Puss] Perrito.

Team Friendship? We did not agree to this.

Yeah, it makes us look ridiculous.

Too late now. It's official.

-[seagull squawking] -Seagull!

[exclaiming]

Steady as she goes, Perrito.

Dokey doke.

Where are we headed anyways?

Off to find new adventures, and to see some old friends.

["La Vida Es Una" playing]

[singing in Spanish]

[Puss] Welcome to my fiesta!

Puss in Boots! [laughing]

To more, a hero.

To all, a legend.

♪ Who's brave and ready for trouble? ♪

-[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪ -[Puss laughs]

[Puss] ♪ Who is so unbelievably humble? ♪

[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who's the gato who rolls the dice? ♪

[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

-[Puss] ♪ And gambles with his life ♪ -[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[people] ♪ Puss in Boots! ♪

[vocalizing]

[people] Puss in Boots!

[Puss] ♪ Puss in Boots! ♪

[Puss laughs, whoops]

[Puss] Puss in Boots!

[people] ♪ He's the name of justice ♪

[Puss] To more, a hero.

[people] ♪ Fighting for the people ♪

[Puss] ♪ To all, a legend ♪

[people] ♪ Puss in Boots ♪

♪ Puss in Boots? ♪

♪ Puss in Boots ♪

[Puss] ♪ Puss in Boots! ♪

[vocalizing]

[Puss] I love that song.

Bravo! [laughs]

♪ Who's ready for trouble? ♪

[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who's unbelievably humble? ♪

[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who's never been touched by a blade? ♪

[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Puss in Boots is never afraid ♪

[people] ♪ You are! You are! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

[people] ♪ Puss in Boots! ♪

[vocalizing]

[people] ♪ Puss in Boots! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

♪ Puss in Boots! ♪ [laughs]

[Puss whooping, exclaiming]

[vocalizing]

[people] ♪ Puss in Boots! ♪

[Puss] ♪ Who is your favorite fearless hero? ♪

Yee-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha! Hey!

[Puss laughs, clears throat]

["Por Qué Te Vas" playing]

[singing in Spanish]

[Puss] Oh! You're still here?

[laughs]